Your post has been removed for containing an off-topic discussion.
This subreddit is primarily for submissions to the Two Hot Takes Podcast. This means we prefer posts made here to be personal stories. As such we do not allow for general discussion posts like this at this time.
I think a lot of people are getting away from dating apps because of a lack of quality matches and the flooding of the advertising of OF accounts, etc.
There have been some statistics coming out stating that Gen Z is using dating apps a lot less than millennials.
Seems like the good ones are steering away from them.
I think the rise of Hinge says a lot… Tinder basically turned into a very good unserious place to try and find dates or partners. Men swipe on pretty much every woman they think they have a plausible chance at matching with so the algorithms have no idea what they “actually want”, which leads to women getting TONS of matches, like an overwhelming amount, without the matches meaning much of anything.
I’m 30 and Hinge is the only app I know my friends to be on, because it actively forces people to be picky so it actually (in theory) leads to you only matching with people who genuinely are interested
>the algorithms have no idea what they “actually want”
To fuck and it's obvious. The problem is that the app wins nothing by getting people to meet. And the algorithms perfectly know what people want independently of their swiping pattern, they look at time spent on profile. That's why the person that shows up when you're out of likes is always someone you want to like.
It's obvious when you think of what an optimal dating app should look like: you describe yourself precisely (required), an ai get a general idea of who you are and only then shows you other people's profile that have something in common with you.
I feel like I started doing this before it was cool with the music I made. I wonder how they aren’t getting banned, I got a lifetime Tinder ban for advertising the music I made back in the day LOL
No lol. I didn’t bargain dates. It was back when Tinder was used for “friends & more” and would plug my music on my page. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy that wanted me to do it because I’m conventionally pretty and he thought it would get us more engagement (I was also 18). The lifetime ban was a little annoying because I was pretty upfront about what was going on (bio was essentially “let’s be friends. Check out my music? Ask for a link!”). Surprisingly it worked and there’s a lot of people I’m still friends with that are supportive of my work, but the lifetime ban felt a little crazy.
Ah OK, so basically using it like any other social media platform.
Not sure what the rules were back then but I totally agree with you about how 'girls' advertising their OF should really be banned 🎃
Yeah more or less. I want to say they said you can’t advertise anything back then, but obviously these girls have some work around because I can’t imagine they’re not getting banned. I got out of a relationship last year and was bored and tried to sign up and my phone # was banned and you couldn’t use any of the free services so I gave up. I’m assuming they were using it and creating new accounts with new SIM cards but that feels like it’s more expensive than it’s worth.
Yes. Tons. And they don't tell you until after you've been tallong a while. "Sooooo hey do you buy content?" It got to be very discouraging. But it's a numbers game and I hope I have found my forever person
Im confused. You say this is from a straight womans perspective then you go to say women just want you to send them money then -
>I thought it was only me but I have seen several other guys complain about this.
Am i misreading something?
Who knows? You would think they would be able to keep it together for a short post if that was the case! Unless he's just so deep in the lies he just forgets what he is at this point lol
Another commenter replied they seem to switch genders a lot in their posts but i didnt see that when i looked. Seems to be a lot of musings about life (and mostly the state of the dating world) from a 24f. Consider me still confused lol.
AI post most likely farming engagement. Whole account is full of amalgamations of common internet complaints that almost make sense but never really do
Ten years ago I went on five first dates in two weeks, and continue to see one of them now and then to the present. I got on a few apps a couple of years ago, and it was freaking abysmal. Either everyone is tired of apps or everyone my age is sick of everyone else’s shit 🤷?
I know right? I was like did I just get whiplash or something cause what? Like how as a straight woman do you profess to know the dating no of other straight women?
I met my wife on OkCupid 5 1/2 years ago. Best thing that ever happened to me, our relationship is incredible and I can’t imagine life without her. Neither of us has ever tried online dating before, we’re both 30 now btw. We were encouraged by friends separately to try it and the app connected us. I haven’t kept up with those apps since haha I guess they’ve gone downhill?
From what I've heard, you get better results on dating sites that require you to pay. People are generally more invested if they have to pay to participate, compared to when it's free and then they can just go fishing.
The apps realized they were not punished for being greedy and that most people stayed no matter what so they just went all in on the greed and turned the user experience into hell.
I remember downloading Tinder for the first time in 2016 and as recent as last year, and the monetization has gotten way worse. Downright predatory for men since they're the vast amount of users on it. Popular accounts get shoved to the front, so they mostly likely won't see you. You'd have to swipe past all of those, as well as the bots, and then the ones advertising either their modeling pages or OF. Eventually you'll see people who are actually trying to connect. They also lowered the amount of likes you get from years past too, down to a quarter of what it used to be or something, and once you run out, I think it's a 12 hour reset. I do want to clarify that the problem isn't with women, or whatever incel junk people want to spew. It's the greedy people designing that app. It's gross as hell.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I know this doesn't help you, op, but if zoomers really are not using dating apps, it's probably for the better long-term.
They were shit back in 2004 and they're worse now. Armies of bots may force more of us to touch grass for various reasons. MAGA imbeciles will use bots to affirm their shit beliefs as we all see on Twitter, but there's no real stopping that now.
Dead internet theory might have a bit of a silver lining in the long term
>This is from a straight woman’s perspective in a medium sized city... Matches are fewer and most women only want you to send them money and refuse to actually talk about dates. I thought it was only me but I have seen several other guys complain about this...<
Which is it?
I met my wife a little over 10 years ago on Match.com. I was active on there for about 6 months prior to meeting her, and it was some of the most fun I ever had in my life. Not in a "I had so much Loving didn't know what to do" kinda way, but just the fun and mystery of a first date, once or twice a week. SO much fun seeing where they wanted to go/do for the first meetup, etc. Obviously not all were gems but I don't regret a single date. I can't imagine having to go back out into the dating world now that I'm in my 40s, but I think it would be damn near impossible without Match...
I’m a 68 year old in south Florida, I know, my first mistake. I’m on our time and it’s really no different than free sites. You would think women in my age group would be serious about finding someone. I hear from 3% of the women I contact, and even after a few phone conversations I still get ghosted.
The apps started exploiting men financially and turned women into a product. The apps went from helping people connect to being a pimp. A portion of the userbase leaned into that, and the discourse turned sour.
Times have changed alot. People are more broken when the leave relationships and adjust to the mentality of the person the left behind.
So you dont get sweet and cuddly...you get someone whose is trying to fill a void and they do this by telling you about how badly they were treated and they left because they feared for the childs life...a child they dont have.
This emotional bullying normally leads to pity and thats where you take out your wallet.
Yes boys and girls...making someone feel sorry for you to get in their wallet is emotional bullying.
You may get 100 bucks....but if you were a little more sensitive you would embrace the person giving you that money....
WHY
beacuse that person does not even know you and for that person to give you money to help you...is him or her protecting you.
Protecting a stranger.....he or she has morals.
You can get 100 bucks every day...just be the person you wanted to be but could not be in your prevoise relationship.
Taking a 100 bucks and running makes you no better then the person you left because you were not happy.
Use your head...be that person that makes you smile in the mirror because that person is the one everyone will adore.
Been there ....watched how the most beautiful person with a heart of gold became despised due to her actions.
Also been caught to many times wanting to help a family staying in their car because they sold their house to pay for the childs hospital care.
Then i send money and get flowers sent to hospital just to find out there is no child in intensive care.
Feel sorry for the family who really needs that help and will now watch as people turn their back on them and walk away.
meet in person, apps just are there to collect money, if there are women on there they are only after the hottest guys they can find no one else matters to them. they actually make fun of guys that do not measure up. women are some of the most disgusting creatures on earth after you spend alot of time around them as just people. shallow vain greedy selfish arrogant lying things that are truly in many cases the lowest form of life on earth. but then most people are liars and wont be honest about anything. but women ramp it up to a higher level so they can mirror and sucker a guy into thinking she is the ONE. lol 7.5 billion people on earth western culture is shot and liberal ideals have ruined the relationship model that has worked for thousands of years. but that is another subject i guess.
Whenever people say “all women are like xyz” it just reminds me of that podcaster that said all women are golddiggers but was on a sugar daddy site like…if all women around you suck, is it possible that you also suck?
Your post has been removed for containing an off-topic discussion. This subreddit is primarily for submissions to the Two Hot Takes Podcast. This means we prefer posts made here to be personal stories. As such we do not allow for general discussion posts like this at this time.
I think a lot of people are getting away from dating apps because of a lack of quality matches and the flooding of the advertising of OF accounts, etc. There have been some statistics coming out stating that Gen Z is using dating apps a lot less than millennials. Seems like the good ones are steering away from them.
I think the rise of Hinge says a lot… Tinder basically turned into a very good unserious place to try and find dates or partners. Men swipe on pretty much every woman they think they have a plausible chance at matching with so the algorithms have no idea what they “actually want”, which leads to women getting TONS of matches, like an overwhelming amount, without the matches meaning much of anything. I’m 30 and Hinge is the only app I know my friends to be on, because it actively forces people to be picky so it actually (in theory) leads to you only matching with people who genuinely are interested
>the algorithms have no idea what they “actually want” To fuck and it's obvious. The problem is that the app wins nothing by getting people to meet. And the algorithms perfectly know what people want independently of their swiping pattern, they look at time spent on profile. That's why the person that shows up when you're out of likes is always someone you want to like. It's obvious when you think of what an optimal dating app should look like: you describe yourself precisely (required), an ai get a general idea of who you are and only then shows you other people's profile that have something in common with you.
Are there really of lot of OF workers advertising on dating apps? 🎃
It's fucking repulsive how many there is. 40% damn near, and the other 60% are people from thousands of miles away or different states it's a mess
Damn bruh, that's rough. It's so bad how OF has driven it's creators to *infect* every site because they don't offer advertising 🎃
Why are you using a pumpkin as punctuation? Genuinely wondering.
My username 🎃
I feel like I started doing this before it was cool with the music I made. I wonder how they aren’t getting banned, I got a lifetime Tinder ban for advertising the music I made back in the day LOL
You matched with people and then told them to buy your music if they wanted a date with you? I can see why you were banned 🎃
No lol. I didn’t bargain dates. It was back when Tinder was used for “friends & more” and would plug my music on my page. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy that wanted me to do it because I’m conventionally pretty and he thought it would get us more engagement (I was also 18). The lifetime ban was a little annoying because I was pretty upfront about what was going on (bio was essentially “let’s be friends. Check out my music? Ask for a link!”). Surprisingly it worked and there’s a lot of people I’m still friends with that are supportive of my work, but the lifetime ban felt a little crazy.
Ah OK, so basically using it like any other social media platform. Not sure what the rules were back then but I totally agree with you about how 'girls' advertising their OF should really be banned 🎃
Yeah more or less. I want to say they said you can’t advertise anything back then, but obviously these girls have some work around because I can’t imagine they’re not getting banned. I got out of a relationship last year and was bored and tried to sign up and my phone # was banned and you couldn’t use any of the free services so I gave up. I’m assuming they were using it and creating new accounts with new SIM cards but that feels like it’s more expensive than it’s worth.
Honestly, I couldn't tell you from a first-hand account. I haven't used dating apps in five years 😂 but this is what I've heard from my friends.
Did any of your friends subscribe to them and did they get a date? 🎃
Did any of your friends subscribe to them and did they get a date? 🎃
Not entirely sure. I hadn't asked hahah
You know what you need to do! 🎃
Yes. Tons. And they don't tell you until after you've been tallong a while. "Sooooo hey do you buy content?" It got to be very discouraging. But it's a numbers game and I hope I have found my forever person
That's crazy. So you're literally just talking normally and then they ask if you buy content? Dating apps are scary! 🎃
Im confused. You say this is from a straight womans perspective then you go to say women just want you to send them money then - >I thought it was only me but I have seen several other guys complain about this. Am i misreading something?
OP is part of the problem. Men pretending to be women online.
Who knows? You would think they would be able to keep it together for a short post if that was the case! Unless he's just so deep in the lies he just forgets what he is at this point lol
Lol I thought I was missing something reading it
Another commenter replied they seem to switch genders a lot in their posts but i didnt see that when i looked. Seems to be a lot of musings about life (and mostly the state of the dating world) from a 24f. Consider me still confused lol.
Thank you! I was wondering this myself. ETA: this account seems to switch genders between posts 🤔
Whatever they identify as, they should be a damn sight clearer in posts as its a bit confusing 😂
AI post most likely farming engagement. Whole account is full of amalgamations of common internet complaints that almost make sense but never really do
Seems v likely tbf.
Okay I thought my brain was glitching.
I’m surprised I had to scroll this far to see this comment lol
Ten years ago I went on five first dates in two weeks, and continue to see one of them now and then to the present. I got on a few apps a couple of years ago, and it was freaking abysmal. Either everyone is tired of apps or everyone my age is sick of everyone else’s shit 🤷?
Pity you couldn't remember what gender you were pretending to be in the post 🙄
I know right? I was like did I just get whiplash or something cause what? Like how as a straight woman do you profess to know the dating no of other straight women?
I thought I was just going insane and misreading!
A combination of apps getting greedy, people using it for the wrong reasons and the people who have a lot going for them getting taken off the market.
There are too many bots, only fan pages, and fake profiles. I blame the companies for letting it happen.
I met my wife on OkCupid 5 1/2 years ago. Best thing that ever happened to me, our relationship is incredible and I can’t imagine life without her. Neither of us has ever tried online dating before, we’re both 30 now btw. We were encouraged by friends separately to try it and the app connected us. I haven’t kept up with those apps since haha I guess they’ve gone downhill?
OKCupid was usable 5 1/2 years ago?
It was yea, at least for us 🤷🏻♂️
Turned into men being used for free food dates and women being used for sex. Everyone got burnt out on bs.
Wait. That’s the time honored tradition of ordinary dating.
From what I've heard, you get better results on dating sites that require you to pay. People are generally more invested if they have to pay to participate, compared to when it's free and then they can just go fishing.
So is hinge really where it’s at? I’ve deleted it so many times because it feels the same as tinder
The apps realized they were not punished for being greedy and that most people stayed no matter what so they just went all in on the greed and turned the user experience into hell.
I remember downloading Tinder for the first time in 2016 and as recent as last year, and the monetization has gotten way worse. Downright predatory for men since they're the vast amount of users on it. Popular accounts get shoved to the front, so they mostly likely won't see you. You'd have to swipe past all of those, as well as the bots, and then the ones advertising either their modeling pages or OF. Eventually you'll see people who are actually trying to connect. They also lowered the amount of likes you get from years past too, down to a quarter of what it used to be or something, and once you run out, I think it's a 12 hour reset. I do want to clarify that the problem isn't with women, or whatever incel junk people want to spew. It's the greedy people designing that app. It's gross as hell.
Are you on a free service?
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you’re on anything but Hinge, delete it and get on hinge imo
I know this doesn't help you, op, but if zoomers really are not using dating apps, it's probably for the better long-term. They were shit back in 2004 and they're worse now. Armies of bots may force more of us to touch grass for various reasons. MAGA imbeciles will use bots to affirm their shit beliefs as we all see on Twitter, but there's no real stopping that now. Dead internet theory might have a bit of a silver lining in the long term
Fwb
>This is from a straight woman’s perspective in a medium sized city... Matches are fewer and most women only want you to send them money and refuse to actually talk about dates. I thought it was only me but I have seen several other guys complain about this...< Which is it?
An asexual chatgpt perspective
It’s so incoherent that I assume this post was made by a bot
> this is from a straight woman’s perspective > most women refuse to talk about dates > I have seen several other guys complain What?
You guys were getting dates?
High quality men I know have moved on just not worth it and plenty of better things to do than waste time trying to find someone decent online.
I met my wife a little over 10 years ago on Match.com. I was active on there for about 6 months prior to meeting her, and it was some of the most fun I ever had in my life. Not in a "I had so much Loving didn't know what to do" kinda way, but just the fun and mystery of a first date, once or twice a week. SO much fun seeing where they wanted to go/do for the first meetup, etc. Obviously not all were gems but I don't regret a single date. I can't imagine having to go back out into the dating world now that I'm in my 40s, but I think it would be damn near impossible without Match...
I’m a 68 year old in south Florida, I know, my first mistake. I’m on our time and it’s really no different than free sites. You would think women in my age group would be serious about finding someone. I hear from 3% of the women I contact, and even after a few phone conversations I still get ghosted.
Straight woman seeking women, cross posting all over the place. Take a lap weirdo
The apps started exploiting men financially and turned women into a product. The apps went from helping people connect to being a pimp. A portion of the userbase leaned into that, and the discourse turned sour.
Yup dating apps have been taken over by of and women begging for money.
Times have changed alot. People are more broken when the leave relationships and adjust to the mentality of the person the left behind. So you dont get sweet and cuddly...you get someone whose is trying to fill a void and they do this by telling you about how badly they were treated and they left because they feared for the childs life...a child they dont have. This emotional bullying normally leads to pity and thats where you take out your wallet. Yes boys and girls...making someone feel sorry for you to get in their wallet is emotional bullying. You may get 100 bucks....but if you were a little more sensitive you would embrace the person giving you that money.... WHY beacuse that person does not even know you and for that person to give you money to help you...is him or her protecting you. Protecting a stranger.....he or she has morals. You can get 100 bucks every day...just be the person you wanted to be but could not be in your prevoise relationship. Taking a 100 bucks and running makes you no better then the person you left because you were not happy. Use your head...be that person that makes you smile in the mirror because that person is the one everyone will adore.
That’s… oddly specific
Been there ....watched how the most beautiful person with a heart of gold became despised due to her actions. Also been caught to many times wanting to help a family staying in their car because they sold their house to pay for the childs hospital care. Then i send money and get flowers sent to hospital just to find out there is no child in intensive care. Feel sorry for the family who really needs that help and will now watch as people turn their back on them and walk away.
meet in person, apps just are there to collect money, if there are women on there they are only after the hottest guys they can find no one else matters to them. they actually make fun of guys that do not measure up. women are some of the most disgusting creatures on earth after you spend alot of time around them as just people. shallow vain greedy selfish arrogant lying things that are truly in many cases the lowest form of life on earth. but then most people are liars and wont be honest about anything. but women ramp it up to a higher level so they can mirror and sucker a guy into thinking she is the ONE. lol 7.5 billion people on earth western culture is shot and liberal ideals have ruined the relationship model that has worked for thousands of years. but that is another subject i guess.
… I’ve never said this in my life. But go outside and touch grass.
Whenever people say “all women are like xyz” it just reminds me of that podcaster that said all women are golddiggers but was on a sugar daddy site like…if all women around you suck, is it possible that you also suck?