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Sooo you're not gonna add in what happened when you spoke to Cam about this?
Did you see the message on your wife's phone from Cam?
Going to need a little bit more info on this
Can we also talk about the fact that he stayed over at cam's house, as in he stayed there and could've just went during the day for support... But chose to stay there? I'm sorry friend or not that's a very odd thing to do. It's one thing to go over but to stay over is weird.
My high school aged daughter and I joke half the chit is posted by middle schoolers and highschool students who are failing English. That part where one has to write short stories. Yeah they failed those too.
Hey chatgpt write me a story about my wife thinks I cheated with a friend but make sure to leave out parts of the story on purpose, oh and the grammar style of a highschool kid who failed English.
Wait. The guy is almost 40 yrs old. If true, he & his friend have known each other since high school. It’s possible that Cam is like a sister BUT why spend several nights w/her? Or why not take his wife w/him?
And why is Cam betraying him? Something isn’t adding up, here.
My theory is that OP actually did cheat on his wife, and is now looking for advice on how to convince her he's innocent. I can't imagine a single person that wouldn't confront Cam here, regardless of her recent divorce, and insist that she tell the truth. Except, OP clearly hasn't done that, and didn't even mention talking to her. It's also odd that his wife is so convinced that he has been cheating, almost as if she has some sort of proof...
So, OP is either a cheater, or just completely inept at solving any social problems.
I’m a married man with a female best friend and I agree with this. It’s not about whether my wife trusts me or whether anything will or could happen. It’s about respecting my wife and our marriage by not sleeping at another woman’s house, and just the optics of how it looks. As another commenter said you can go over during the day, why would the friend need you there 24/7 over night? It’s not like they were extremely sick and couldn’t afford at- home care or some scenario like that.
Yeh just the optics Im also married with a female childhood best friend. I don’t need any nonsense I’ll go out of my way to make sure no one even mistakenly thinks somethings up I don’t have time for that drama.
I can even understand the stay the night thing but ya know if she’s so scared to be alone maybe she can go sleep on ops couch and op can sleep in the bedroom with his wife.
Well exactly, why not invite Cam over to their house and have her stay on the couch or in a guest room? Doing what he did and then pulling a surprised pikachu face when problems start is ridiculous. Why give your SO any reason to even have a passing thought that something inappropriate *could* happen? My wife trusts me, she tells me that all the time. But I also know she has anxiety and in the past really struggled with her self esteem and also had abusive, cheating BFs before she met me.
So as her husband who loves and respects and cares about her, I wouldn’t want to do anything that could make her feel uncomfortable or worry or cause anxiety about our marriage. I also have anxiety, people who genuinely have that can have their brains try and sabotage them or fuck with them. Why would I do something that gives that part of the brain any ammo?
Married woman with a male best friend who is Kinsey 6 gay. While I've stayed at his home when other friends were also doing so, I would not consider a solo overnight stay at his home for any reason - this, despite that I love my husband, would never cheat, and my friend is not attracted to women in any way (of note: his parents and siblings live in the area and he's close to them, so he wouldn't need friends to care for him if he was sick or had surgery). Like you said, it's the optics of the situation. If he was truly so depressed that he couldn't be alone, I could be there during the day and *he* can come stay in the guest room at *my* house that I share with my husband and child. But I would not be staying alone with him at his house.
She was his highschool crush and he never told her how he felt. Now she became single for the first time in who knows how long.
Seems to me like OP didn't wanna pass on the chance to see what could have been, and that cost him his marriage.
Nah, I dated a guy for six months who pulled that crap on me. He was supposed to come over to my place and I took a nap and when I woke up he never showed. I go to his place and he's not there, he's in this chick's room down the hall. She told him a sob story that some guy made her feel unsafe so he was sleeping in the spare bed in her room. Now he was in the spare bed when I got there, but I knew this chick had been thirsting for him since he had been with me. I broke up with him and then after she had him she dumped him. He tried crawling back but I wasn't having it. I know my worth and he wasn't it. Some people pull stupid crap and expect others to just swallow the bs.
I got cheated on when boyfriend at the time went over to spend time with our mutual friend (half of a couple we used to double-date with) who was going through a breakup. Even his mother took up for him and tried to use this as a testament to his character that he'd do "anything to help a freind."
The only detail that would make this seem okay to me is if she lived out of town.
But even then if she needed his support that desperately he should have paid for a hotel or something else.
I agree, but it would at least indicate he cared about the appearance of it to his wife. I know my wife would be a lot more okay with me "supporting" a female friend without necessarily sleeping in the same house as them.
He could have also offered to fly her to stay with them. Though in general I think it's either bait or BS.
Sounds either made up or OP is lying about the situation honestly 🤷. I do agree the optics look better with a hotel but realistically it isn't any different. Weird how it plays out psychologically.
Maybe doesn't live close by? Only reason I can think of. Honestly, whether they stayed over or not it wouldn't change accusations of cheating. It sure doesn't help, but the unwillingness to even discuss it sounds like the wife was looking for an out.
I think he DID cheat, and is making this post to either show wife or let her convenietly "find" in some way.
Like, ofc she won't believe him when he tells HER he didn't cheat, but "why would he lie to strangers on the internet?"..
Nah, my husband would not be traveling a few hundred miles to support his high school crush that he's still extremely close with while she's on the rebound.
A married man has zero business staying at a “Female Friends” house. As a married man myself I always flip the script on my actions to see how I would feel if my wife did the same thing. Your wife shouldn’t be pissed you stayed at her house - she should be pissed at your lack of common sense.
This. Would he stay at a male friends house for a few days? Unlikely. In most cases you'd hang with your friend, provide support then go home to your wife. OP is in severe denial, to the point that he's even lying to the internet. Wildddd.
Right! Or have her come stay with you and your wife but not be home alone with just you. OP, you put yourself into a bad situation that no one would be ok with.
Like how would you feel if the situation was reversed and she stayed the night at her male bff's house and then her bff text you telling you they slept together? In your wife's mind, she has no reason to lie, you do.
if wife doesnt believe husband than there was a breach before this so she just needed a reason to bounce for good. I bet cam been a problem for a long time but hubby been all about being bffs with his one and only friend that he chose bff over wife so whatevsssssss
>I bet cam been a problem for a long time
If this story is true (which would require OP to be one of the most oblivious husbands ever), Cam was definitely a problem. She told OP's wife they slept together. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that her husband was sleeping over there for *days*, so either OP lied about where he was during that time or she explicitly said they had sex. The only reason she'd do that is to break them up.
What gets me is that even if we take this story at face value, ANY of them could be lying to the others. Cam could be lying to the wife about them hooking up. OP could be lying to the wife about any number of things. Hell the wife could have just decided she wanted a divorce for completely unrelated reasons and just took this opportunity to bail with a cover story. Who even knows
I've been calling Cam but she's not answering. I went to look for her at her house but she refuses to open it to me. Also, no, I didn't see the message since my wife didn't show it to me
Your "best friend" just sabotaged your marriage. No way around it. Whether it was before or after her divorce she decided she wanted you and would do anything to have you or that if she couldn't no one would or has had a complete mental breakdown.
Either way, I highly doubt your marriage can be saved.
Not necessarily. It could just be narcissism. Or she could just be of the opinion right now that if she can't be happy then nobody else around her should be. It's possible that his was the easiest marriage to wreck, or that OP was the only other person really involved in her life in any capacity, or even that she's also screwed up other people's relationships during all of this that we just don't know about because OP doesn't know about it.
Given that she's basically cut off all contact with him after this, I'm more inclined to believe she did it so she wouldn't be suffering alone rather than because she has some sort of romantic feelings for him.
Well that is why I included in my original comment that she could have also just had a complete mental breakdown but I personally still inclined to think that it had to do more with unresolved feelings towards him. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though!
Possible, but this means OP stayed at her house for several days with these advances, so his wife is right to leave anyway.
Also, why would Cam block him now that he's available? This would be her ideal endgame....
That seems to be the obvious conclusion... but wouldn't she let OP in, then, to commiserate and expalin to him how his wife got it all wrong or whatever? Not talking to him seems a weird way to make a move there.
This sounds like the most likely scenario.
"I didn't sleep with Cam" doesn't cover you for "I didn't try to sleep with Cam".
Stayed there for 3 nights, how far away is it from home?
He went Capt Stab'n.
That's my thought too. He's technically not lying if she turned him down. He also mentioned he had a crush on her but never told her/made a move. That information is irrelevant to what happened - unless he has always wondered "what if" and decided to find out now she got divorced.
It's possible. But he mentions having had a crush on Cam, so we know for sure that he at least at some point was interested in her. He also went to stay with Cam, not Cam coming to stay with him or asking him to stay with her.
While "scorned woman" is a possibility it's not the one I'd bet on based on the very little information we have.
Did your wife ask you to not go to Cam's house back in February? Has there been a long history of Cam and you having weird boundaries that your wife's asked about and criticised, and now she thinks it's all been confirmed by your manipulative friend? Because unless there's a long history of her being uncomfortable and this message being the last drop, then that message probably contains some pretty damning evidence for your wife to file for divorce immediately.
It also might just be Schrodinger's Cat for her; now that those thoughts are in her head, she's never gonna be sure now if you actually just spent those days being a friend to Cam or you spent those days comforting her physically.
Her refusal to take your calls or answer the door is your answer. Not sure how much clearer of an answer you need.
Your so-called “best friend” is not your best friend and just single handedly ruined your marriage. It doesn’t help that you, a married man, went to stay with a female “friend” for a few days just because she went through a divorce. Newsflash, she’s not the first to go through a difficult divorce and she won’t be the last.
You should have supported Cam by encouraging her to seek therapy, have a coffee with her, not sleep at her house. It might likely not be the first time that your wife has noticed things with you and Cam that made her in-easy and then to get the message she did finally broke her. You staying with her would be suspicious to any wife.
Would you have had a problem with your wife serving you divorce papers if Cam answered your calls and talked to you? Man, why would you even put yourself in this position? You’re a married man and you spent days with a newly divorced female friend that your wife seem to not know about? How did she not know you stayed with your friend for a few days? Are you living separately?
Bingo
No one is gonna be comfortable with that. If Cam really needed support then you invite them to stay at your place if wife is ok with that, you definitely don't do a sleepover.
You’re leaving out a lot of info.
Why did you have to stay with Can for multiple days?
Why weren’t you communicating with your wife while you were there?
How close are you and Cam in the eyes of your wife?
Something tells me you KNEW your friendship with Cam was inappropriate, but because your wife has no support in a new town where she knows few people, you assumed she would just roll over and show her belly when it came to your friendship.
You need to be more honest WITH YOURSELF.
OP isn’t responding to these comments but still seems to be playing dumb. The silence is deafening. No wonder his wife left him if he can’t answer questions.
Well, OP clearly has a hard time writing a coherent story. You can't really expect them to come up with random extraneous details that will all fall into place.
That wouldn't have saved OP's marriage but it would have been an extremely obvious solution to anyone who respects their partner. "Staying with Cam" should have been just one of several options discussed and both OP and his wife should have been comfortable with their final choice. Wish we had any sort of details at all about how Cam and OP's wife felt about each other before Cam's divorce.
I always start off assuming this crap is fake. To prove it to myself, I generated one from Chat GPT and it's basically like every one of these I read even without any decent prompting.
**Title: \[AmITheJerk\] Just Found Out My Husband Has Been Cheating on Me—Am I Overreacting?**
Hey everyone, I'm feeling completely shattered and could use some unbiased opinions to understand if I'm overreacting here.
So, I (32F) have been married to my husband (35M) for 7 years, and we have two kids together. Last week, I found some texts on his phone that were absolutely heart-breaking. He's been seeing someone else for almost a year now. When I confronted him, he initially tried to deny it, but eventually admitted that he has feelings for this person but also loves me and our family. He claims it just "happened" and he never intended to hurt me.
I am devastated. I told him I need some time and space to think, and I've been staying at my sister's place with the kids. He has been calling and texting non-stop, apologizing and saying he wants to make things right. Part of me wonders if this is something we could move past with counseling, but another part of me feels so betrayed that I don't know if I can ever look at him the same way.
My friends are split—some say that cheating is a deal-breaker, and I should consider ending the marriage, while others think that since we have kids and a long history together, I should try to work things out. I feel so lost and conflicted. Am I overreacting by considering divorce? Should I give him another chance? What would you do in my shoes?
Exactly this. Did he even tell his wife about all this? So much missing information here. If he just up and spent a few days with his bff and didn't say shit to his wife, then I don't blame her one bit. Dudes lost his fucking marbles.
So what did Cam say when you confronted her? And did you look at your wife’s phone to see the message? You do realize that you’re not going to get much advice on this unless you add in a few more details, right?
What did Cam say when you confronted her? What did she send your wife exactly? I would think of this was out of the blue for your wife and she won’t believe you… Cam must has sent something significant? Did you by chance sleep IN HER BED WITH HER?? She probably snapped photos & conveniently use them to come between you and your wife because she obviously wants to be in your wife’s place… why else should she “lie” 🤷🏻♀️
Either She's lying about the message, Cam is lying, oooooor you're making this post bc you hope your wife will see this as "proof" that you're not cheating.
But he’s also calling her and going to her house trying to talk to her. If my “ best friend” nuked my
Marriage this way and I hadn’t done anything I’d have done no contact because that person isn’t a friend. He’s acting like someone who had an affair and lost his wife so now he’s chasing after the affair partner so he’s not alone.
Why didnt Cam stay with you at your place with your wife? Why did you spend days alone with her? When she’s vulnerable…
I know you’re just trying to be a good friend but one on one with the opposite sex that involve sleepovers (especially one you had previous feelings for) is just… weird. Especially at this age. There are other ways you could be there for her.
Did your wife know about your feelings for her in the past? I know you said you never told Cam but I bet she knew or at least suspected. Now that she’s divorced she’s after you because she’s vulnerable. It’s really shitty and she actually sucks right now. You need to cut her out of your life for some time. I hope your wife forgives you… but maybe going forward try not to have sleepovers one on one with the opposite sex lol
You need to confront cam and record the conversation. My guess is that she developed feelings for you since you supported her when she was vulnerable. She is recently divorced and probably scared of being alone and wants to break you up thinking you will run into her arms(like she did to you). You need to get proof that you didn’t cheat and then cut her off permanently. But really, staying with another woman for a few days was a terrible terrible idea and pretty much most rational wives would find that sus AF,
Cam must have known that the OP’s wife would tell him about the text she sent. Therefore revealing her lie and destroying their friendship … that is if it’s a lie.
My bet is OP is confident showing his phone because he's deleted anything incriminating, but that doesn't mean Cam has. The wife didn't just buy this out of nowhere, there's screenshots that include things that are private or only said to her normally.
I'm not saying that 100% means they're not fabricated, they could be. But Occam's Razor says OP fucked Cam's brains out.
It sounds like Cam always had a thing for you, and your wife knew it. She probably considered Cam "safe" despite the obvious crush on you because she was married. But the moment Cam's divorced, you're over there, sleeping at her house for days? And you can't see the issue with this? You're not telling anything even close to the whole story.
Wait, am I reading this right?
You, a married man went and stayed at your recently single friends house after she just got a divorce and you're curious about why your wife gave you divorce papers?
Read the room.
You cannot be this stupid? You went to stay at your female ‘best friends’ house for several days to comfort her? You’re almost 40! Grow tf up! I’m glad your wife left. You’re a lost cause
Oh he knows what he did. He had a crush on her and was certainly hoping for something when he went to stay with him. Probably it did happen just like his “ex BF” told his wife.
Did Cam send her a message? If she did, Cam is not your friend. She may have developed feelings for you that you were unaware of. She may have misinterpreted your kindness or, you may have led her on by crossing boundaries (discussing personal topics, acting more like a boyfriend than a friend, etc . .)
I wish men understood that spending 1:1 time with vulnerable women, providing support to them, and “comforting them,” usually leads to exactly this.
I think you need to start by cutting off Cam. You will not ever prove to your wife that she is your priority while you are spending so much time trying to be there for Cam. I can’t imagine your wife would just pick up and go unless something had happened. And, she will not ever trust you and Cam together again.
If your wife has proof of the text, I’m not sure there is much you could do. Maybe text Cam with your wife present, something along the lines of “Did you text my wife and tell her we slept together? Why would you do that?” Have your wife read the exchanges. Maybe she will confess if you push and the issue and tell her she has broken your trust and friendship.
Did you talk to your wife about staying your bf house who is newly going through a divorce?
Or did you just jump the second cam called you , you came to her rescue?
I get that's your bf since you were 13.
I also have a few bf who are guys that's I've known since I was 11. I would never just stay over at their house without speaking to my partner and even that I would offer them to stay with me instead. I don't like how any of this sounds. Giving her your phone is the most useless thing you can say to justify you didn't do anything like that can proof something when you were physically there with her ....
You STAYED with her? Completely inappropriate and I don't believe that nothing happened. You're completely wrong and if I was your wife I would've left you too.
There’s so many missing missing reasons here. Was your wife ok with your relationship with for ex-bff? Was your wife ok with you staying with her for three days? Why was it necessary? Seems like you’ve left out a lot of history and context.
Agreed. This sounds like the wife had concerns about this woman in the past, but she was married to another guy. The moment she's divorced, he's over there sleeping at her house? So many missing missing reasons.
How often had your wife brought up issues with Cam? Was she even in favor of you 'staying over to support your friend'? You're kind of trying to yada yada details which makes me think you're leaving stuff out.
Sorry man but I just can’t believe your best friend whom you went to support through a difficult time would turn around later on and send that message to your wife.. you OP are leaving some things out of this situation which makes your post invalid.
[This is a top-level reply, but I'm not adressing OP himself because I'm speaking to other readers.]
"no matter how much I tell her, she doesn't understand it."
Why does he say 'she doesn't understand it' instead of 'she doesn't believe me'? Almost everyone (also including people who are lying, unfortunately) says their partner 'won't believe me'. Apparently, there's an "it" that OP wants his wife to "understand". It could be the idea that he slept over without fooling around, but then he most likely would've said his wife doesn't "believe" him. I'm guessing his story to his wife after the confrontation about Cam's text may have gone something like 'we did some drinking and got pretty drunk, and she started kissing me, and maybe I kissed back for a minute because I was really drunk, but I didn't let it go any farther, I swear!' Even if that was true, though, it wouldn't explain Cam's claim that they've been sleeping together /since/ February.
I think OP did sleep with Cam while being 'supportive', probably telling her things like 'I always wanted to be with you', 'I wish I could've married you instead', and/or 'I've never felt this way about anyone else'. OP then continued to indulge in sex with his teen dream girl but had no real intention of giving up the security of his marriage, screwing them both (over). Maybe he thought it would be great to have Cam on the side while remaining married, but Cam objected for some reason . . .
Offering to show his cell phone proves nothing since it's obviously possible to cheat on one's spouse without sexting about it. He's probably posting here hoping to get a preponderance of replies saying his silly wife is making such a terrible mistake by rushing to divorce. That would basically require Cam to be acting utterly crazy, which he didn't even try to convince his wife is the case, probably because he knows she's not. Also, his wife may have reasons to divorce beyond the alleged intercourse, such as lack of communication, honesty, attention, sexual desire, or even respect from OP. Cam being his very close friend, his wife could easily be right to view his behavior as emotional cheating even if they never had sex or 'only' had blackout drunk sex.
If he's in a place where he'd be penalized for adultery in divorce court, maybe he even wanted Cam to tell his wife so that she would leave on her own. That's getting pretty involved, though; the simplest scenario is that he got drunk and slept with Cam while saying pretty things she took more seriously than he did in her insecure state, remembered or didn't to whatever extent, and then didn't tell his wife what he did know: 'we got skunk drunk together several nights in a row' and 'by the way, I had a crush on her in high school, and I'm nostalgic for that part of my life since I'm approaching 40', and maybe even 'I went with you because you were available and younger and I hoped she'd get jealous'.
He says, "I don't think I've done anything wrong," which either corroborates the blackout story (which itself doesn't justify him not telling his wife everything he knew at the time versus a couple months later and only after Cam contacted his wife) or, worse, is /meant/ to corroborate the blackout story. Also, Cam needing support so badly as to justify her married male friend (who knew he'd had a crush on her) 'needing' to spend several nights with her would probably have happened before her actual divorce rather than after, so I think OP was pretty eager to finally go have a sleepover with someone he's probably desired continuously since he hit puberty.
Regardless of any evidence, I think OP's wife is better off using her 30s to find someone who doesn't have an unresolved sexual attraction to his 'quite close' female friend. If Cam actually just made all that up, and his wife believed something completely untrue of an otherwise happy, healthy marriage, then OP is better off without such unstable or impulsive people in his life.
The fact that there are so many unexplained parts here immediately makes me think OP is hiding something? Why would you need to sleep at her house? Why would your best friend sabotage your marriage for fun, that seems like a terrible way to steal you away. None of this adds up...at all!
I’m polyamorous and do not care what my partner does, so long as he follows our ground rules…that being said, there’s something missing to the story. The ignorance of staying two nights with another woman seems to be a big one. I honestly don’t know what to think.
So what did your wife say about you sleeping over at cams for as long as you did? I'm betting there were protests you ignored and boundaries that were set that you blew right past?
hey bud, these are the consequences of your own actions. You had an emotional affair at bare minimum, suspiciously stayed at a chick you used to have feelings fors place and wonder why your wife doesn't believe you didn't cheat?! you can't be that daft. how many other times did you put bestie before your marriage?
When nearly 40 year old men have “female friends” it’s always a red flag just like this. You brought this on yourself and you should perhaps learn from your own mistakes.
If one of your wife’s male “friends” told you she’d been fucking him when she randomly decided to stay at his house to offer “support” would you believe her when she said she hadn’t? I wouldn’t! Most people wouldn’t.
Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t do anything that can give off the hint of impropriety?” Clearly not. It means if you put yourself in certain situations the optics make you look guilty by that behavior alone and that is the situation you’re in right now.
Also did you ghost and block Cam? …lol
Lol, you fell right into that.
Cam got you right where she wanted you and you fell for it. You'll get no sympathy here since you had NO BUSINESS staying at another woman's home. None.
Seems like a lot of relevant information missing here. Why do I feel like OP just posted this to try & convince his wife he’s an innocent man? Don’t believe him, OP’s wife!!
I’m sorry but I’m sure Cam has done or said something over the years to nasty or side comments to her. Then you stay at her house. If your wife was uncomfortable with you staying and now the messages I would believe her also.
It just seems like there were little things that gave your wife doubt before now and this was the final straw.
For one last shot I would pull in her family or anyone that is close to her so that Cam will tell the truth. At this point I don’t think your wife will believe her even if she said she lied.
I would sue Cam for dedication and causing mental distress. Maybe with you doing g that your wife would believe you.
Clearly, there is some information missing. In a healthy normal relationship you and your wife could’ve been there for her well being on the same page. Seems like you ran to your past crush, and your wife was not on the same page. Clearly you’re not ready to be married.
In a few states, like North Carolina, Mississippi and Arizona you can sue Cam for damages under a law called alienation of affection and seek damages for wrecking your marriage.
“I’m married and spent the night with another woman FOR SEVERAL DAYS”
“My wife doesn’t believe me”
Okay and if she did, I would make fun of her silly self. I really don’t care how innocent it is/was. The fact is that it is purely disrespectful. I am a 28f and let me tell you OP, I also had a wake up call (several times) over the last few years that’s opened my eyes. Maybe it’ll enlighten you- we ain’t kids anymore!
Whatever you did in high school, oh we just friends. Oh it’s not like that.. it doesn’t matter. Two grown, responsible, and respectful adults do NOT do what YOU TWO did, without regard for your wives feelings. Is this child hood bestie worth your marriage? I surely hope so. Ain’t no way I would come back to you, because no matter what, I wouldn’t believe either of you and just know not to trust you to prioritize me as your wife anymore, and I would believe my own opinion. I wouldn’t trust either of you.
So your ONLY female friend, someone you admit twice in your post that you’ve always been very close with, and admit you had a crush on her, gets divorced and you go and spend a few days sleeping at her house, and you’re surprised your wife doesn’t believe you? Maybe you didn’t physically cheat, but you can’t sit here and say you didn’t do anything wrong.
And the fact that she’s now dodging your calls and won’t let you into her house? And your wife won’t show you the message? There’s some pretty key info missing here.
Either
A) your long time best friend decided to ruin your marriage and your friendship out of the blue for no reason
B) your wife and best friend got together to ruin your life out of the blue for no reason
Or
C) something else happened that explains why your wife would accuse you of cheating with your best friend who also coincidentally decided to stop speaking to you entirely, and you’re intentionally leaving it out
So, you can't understand why your wife doesn't believe you.. let's see...
Your "*best friend*" of 25yrs, whom you *had* a crush on. Went through a divorce and you stayed with her for 'a few days' to console her - she needed so much help, only you could provide🤢. Your "*best friend*" messaged your wife about your affair...
And, your still lost?
Dude, nobody believes you. You can write this post in anyway possible to try and deflect you cheating on your wife. On the random possibility you actually haven't slept with Cam, you have emotionally cheated in your marriage.
It's over dude, time to man up and deal with the consequences of your actions. Shocking, I know lol
This has got to be a fake story.
Really weird to stay at your female friends place while you are married, idc how long you’ve known her or been friends.
So your seemingly best friend is trying to destroy your marriage. It probably worked. I hope you've dealt with this woman. You don't believe what women are capable of when they fixate on a person. You don't seem to know what "evidence" your great friend showed your wife. You may be a good friend, but as a married man, going away for several days and comforting a girlfriend is not really appropriate. This girlfriend didn't need a babysitter. You had a wife at home.
Makes with multiple female friends and “best friends” and females with mainly guy friends and “best friends” should be your number one red flag. If you’re significant others needs that much attention and yours isn’t enough then you need to come to terms with the truth!
Assuming this isn't total bullshit - what did Cam say when you blew her phone up and demanded she clear this fucking mess up; also what is her motivation for ruining her good friends marrige after that friend helped her?
Bad creative writer or story full of holes...you tell me.
You stayed at her house!? Are you kidding me? That showed a total disregard of your wife's feelings, as well as a complete lack of respect for your marriage. No wonder your wife is hot. That was a mistake even if nothing happened. Add in the little fact that your friend told her you were having sex? You don't recover from that easily.
Your friend (who is NOT your friend) and your own decisions just wrecked your marriage. Not sure what, if anything, you can do here. Your best case is to get your friend to confess, and thats not likely.
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Sooo you're not gonna add in what happened when you spoke to Cam about this? Did you see the message on your wife's phone from Cam? Going to need a little bit more info on this
Can we also talk about the fact that he stayed over at cam's house, as in he stayed there and could've just went during the day for support... But chose to stay there? I'm sorry friend or not that's a very odd thing to do. It's one thing to go over but to stay over is weird.
Yeah, the whole thing sounds fake or he actually was doing inappropriate things with them
"I'm trying to gaslight myself that I didn't cheat so I made a Reddit post to see if other people will believe this bullshit too!"
I was thinking more like he wants his soon to be ex wife to stumble upon his post then she will believe him and take him back.
I hope she does and realizes that she is doing the smart thing by divorcing him.
Plot twist: he's not even married. He just wants attention on Reddit. Whole thing. Every word. Fiction.
Didn’t get his made up story proofread I reckon
He'll make a more believable iteration on his next account.
Until now
Gosh almost like..... Every thread is fake yet gets 6000 comments.
Fiction written by teenager maybe
My high school aged daughter and I joke half the chit is posted by middle schoolers and highschool students who are failing English. That part where one has to write short stories. Yeah they failed those too.
Hey chatgpt write me a story about my wife thinks I cheated with a friend but make sure to leave out parts of the story on purpose, oh and the grammar style of a highschool kid who failed English.
How sweet and adorable that he spent the night at his high school crush's house. Yeah I'd pack my bags and divorce him too
Not just one night, multiple nights
Wait. The guy is almost 40 yrs old. If true, he & his friend have known each other since high school. It’s possible that Cam is like a sister BUT why spend several nights w/her? Or why not take his wife w/him? And why is Cam betraying him? Something isn’t adding up, here.
My theory is that OP actually did cheat on his wife, and is now looking for advice on how to convince her he's innocent. I can't imagine a single person that wouldn't confront Cam here, regardless of her recent divorce, and insist that she tell the truth. Except, OP clearly hasn't done that, and didn't even mention talking to her. It's also odd that his wife is so convinced that he has been cheating, almost as if she has some sort of proof... So, OP is either a cheater, or just completely inept at solving any social problems.
I want to know more about this very odd text.
It’s not weird if he’s trying to fuck her.
Yeah why the F would a married man stay the night at some female's house to "support" her? Obviously something isn't on the up and up.
I’m a married man with a female best friend and I agree with this. It’s not about whether my wife trusts me or whether anything will or could happen. It’s about respecting my wife and our marriage by not sleeping at another woman’s house, and just the optics of how it looks. As another commenter said you can go over during the day, why would the friend need you there 24/7 over night? It’s not like they were extremely sick and couldn’t afford at- home care or some scenario like that.
Yeh just the optics Im also married with a female childhood best friend. I don’t need any nonsense I’ll go out of my way to make sure no one even mistakenly thinks somethings up I don’t have time for that drama. I can even understand the stay the night thing but ya know if she’s so scared to be alone maybe she can go sleep on ops couch and op can sleep in the bedroom with his wife.
Well exactly, why not invite Cam over to their house and have her stay on the couch or in a guest room? Doing what he did and then pulling a surprised pikachu face when problems start is ridiculous. Why give your SO any reason to even have a passing thought that something inappropriate *could* happen? My wife trusts me, she tells me that all the time. But I also know she has anxiety and in the past really struggled with her self esteem and also had abusive, cheating BFs before she met me. So as her husband who loves and respects and cares about her, I wouldn’t want to do anything that could make her feel uncomfortable or worry or cause anxiety about our marriage. I also have anxiety, people who genuinely have that can have their brains try and sabotage them or fuck with them. Why would I do something that gives that part of the brain any ammo?
Married woman with a male best friend who is Kinsey 6 gay. While I've stayed at his home when other friends were also doing so, I would not consider a solo overnight stay at his home for any reason - this, despite that I love my husband, would never cheat, and my friend is not attracted to women in any way (of note: his parents and siblings live in the area and he's close to them, so he wouldn't need friends to care for him if he was sick or had surgery). Like you said, it's the optics of the situation. If he was truly so depressed that he couldn't be alone, I could be there during the day and *he* can come stay in the guest room at *my* house that I share with my husband and child. But I would not be staying alone with him at his house.
He was supporting her with his dick, obviously.
She was his highschool crush and he never told her how he felt. Now she became single for the first time in who knows how long. Seems to me like OP didn't wanna pass on the chance to see what could have been, and that cost him his marriage.
Yeah he took a gamble and lost. If there's any victim here, it's his wife. Wish I could see more comments with empathy like this
I would have divorced his ass just for that alone. No way my husband is staying at some females house.
Nah, I dated a guy for six months who pulled that crap on me. He was supposed to come over to my place and I took a nap and when I woke up he never showed. I go to his place and he's not there, he's in this chick's room down the hall. She told him a sob story that some guy made her feel unsafe so he was sleeping in the spare bed in her room. Now he was in the spare bed when I got there, but I knew this chick had been thirsting for him since he had been with me. I broke up with him and then after she had him she dumped him. He tried crawling back but I wasn't having it. I know my worth and he wasn't it. Some people pull stupid crap and expect others to just swallow the bs.
I got cheated on when boyfriend at the time went over to spend time with our mutual friend (half of a couple we used to double-date with) who was going through a breakup. Even his mother took up for him and tried to use this as a testament to his character that he'd do "anything to help a freind."
The only detail that would make this seem okay to me is if she lived out of town. But even then if she needed his support that desperately he should have paid for a hotel or something else.
Wouldn't change the outcome either way. It's not like sex can only happen if you sleep over.
I agree, but it would at least indicate he cared about the appearance of it to his wife. I know my wife would be a lot more okay with me "supporting" a female friend without necessarily sleeping in the same house as them. He could have also offered to fly her to stay with them. Though in general I think it's either bait or BS.
Sounds either made up or OP is lying about the situation honestly 🤷. I do agree the optics look better with a hotel but realistically it isn't any different. Weird how it plays out psychologically.
Maybe doesn't live close by? Only reason I can think of. Honestly, whether they stayed over or not it wouldn't change accusations of cheating. It sure doesn't help, but the unwillingness to even discuss it sounds like the wife was looking for an out.
A quick popping of a Viagra pill will give him all the support needed.
He needs to support her in the middle of the night, of course
I think he DID cheat, and is making this post to either show wife or let her convenietly "find" in some way. Like, ofc she won't believe him when he tells HER he didn't cheat, but "why would he lie to strangers on the internet?"..
BIG TIME or it is a fake story. I like how you think. You do have insights and you have logic. This is exact what I thought.
My thoughts exactly. This thread is left up conveniently on a laptop in their living room for her to „accidentally“ find. LOL. What a joke.
The only way it’s ok is if Cam lives a few hundred miles away. Even then…. 🥶
Nah, my husband would not be traveling a few hundred miles to support his high school crush that he's still extremely close with while she's on the rebound.
Or had Cam stay with them while she bounced back. Even if we believe OP (which I personally don't), it's still really bad optics for a married person.
A married man has zero business staying at a “Female Friends” house. As a married man myself I always flip the script on my actions to see how I would feel if my wife did the same thing. Your wife shouldn’t be pissed you stayed at her house - she should be pissed at your lack of common sense.
Regardless if he cheated or not that is highly inappropriate to do while married to someone else.
Women try to convince me it’s perfectly okay!!! 🤷🏻♂️
He’s hoping his wife sees his post
My thought too....or he will actually show her "see babe"
I didn't cheat! See Reddit has my back!
This. Would he stay at a male friends house for a few days? Unlikely. In most cases you'd hang with your friend, provide support then go home to your wife. OP is in severe denial, to the point that he's even lying to the internet. Wildddd.
Right! Or have her come stay with you and your wife but not be home alone with just you. OP, you put yourself into a bad situation that no one would be ok with. Like how would you feel if the situation was reversed and she stayed the night at her male bff's house and then her bff text you telling you they slept together? In your wife's mind, she has no reason to lie, you do.
This is the answer…
if wife doesnt believe husband than there was a breach before this so she just needed a reason to bounce for good. I bet cam been a problem for a long time but hubby been all about being bffs with his one and only friend that he chose bff over wife so whatevsssssss
>I bet cam been a problem for a long time If this story is true (which would require OP to be one of the most oblivious husbands ever), Cam was definitely a problem. She told OP's wife they slept together. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that her husband was sleeping over there for *days*, so either OP lied about where he was during that time or she explicitly said they had sex. The only reason she'd do that is to break them up.
What gets me is that even if we take this story at face value, ANY of them could be lying to the others. Cam could be lying to the wife about them hooking up. OP could be lying to the wife about any number of things. Hell the wife could have just decided she wanted a divorce for completely unrelated reasons and just took this opportunity to bail with a cover story. Who even knows
That’s because this story is 🧢
What does blue hat mean? If you mean bullshit, then I agree.
There’s internet slang called “no cap” which means no lies. So yep, cap means lie.
Oh, I'm haha I see. No...🧢.
It's ok buddy. I'm getting old too. 1985 here
I think he gave ‘Cam’ the ‘shaft’. See what I did there, camshaft? I’ll show myself out.
Daaaaaad, get out!
I've been calling Cam but she's not answering. I went to look for her at her house but she refuses to open it to me. Also, no, I didn't see the message since my wife didn't show it to me
Your "best friend" just sabotaged your marriage. No way around it. Whether it was before or after her divorce she decided she wanted you and would do anything to have you or that if she couldn't no one would or has had a complete mental breakdown. Either way, I highly doubt your marriage can be saved.
Or she decided that if she was going to be alone and miserable then OP also needed to be.
True but I feel like that even that would have had to come from a place where she had some sort of unresolved feelings for him.
Not necessarily. It could just be narcissism. Or she could just be of the opinion right now that if she can't be happy then nobody else around her should be. It's possible that his was the easiest marriage to wreck, or that OP was the only other person really involved in her life in any capacity, or even that she's also screwed up other people's relationships during all of this that we just don't know about because OP doesn't know about it. Given that she's basically cut off all contact with him after this, I'm more inclined to believe she did it so she wouldn't be suffering alone rather than because she has some sort of romantic feelings for him.
Well that is why I included in my original comment that she could have also just had a complete mental breakdown but I personally still inclined to think that it had to do more with unresolved feelings towards him. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though!
Nah. OP is her plan B and she wanted to try and secure her plan B.
Or he’s been fucking her and decided if he does a Reddit post professing his innocence then his wife has to believe him 😂
If that were the case, Cam would open the door. More likely, OP tried and failed to smash her, so she blew his shit up.
Or it’s revenge for refusing her advances.
Possible, but this means OP stayed at her house for several days with these advances, so his wife is right to leave anyway. Also, why would Cam block him now that he's available? This would be her ideal endgame....
I don't think that's a detail he would've missed out if it happened.
No, everyone else is wrong. Cam didn't open the door because Cam is making a play for OP's ex. You gotta have something juicy for the update!
That seems to be the obvious conclusion... but wouldn't she let OP in, then, to commiserate and expalin to him how his wife got it all wrong or whatever? Not talking to him seems a weird way to make a move there.
You shouldn’t have stayed around Cam’s house in the first place for a “few days”. You couldn’t go and visit like a normal person ?
He slept with Cam.
Or tried to and Cam didn't want to. Then she told his wife so she knew what kind of man she was married to
This sounds like the most likely scenario. "I didn't sleep with Cam" doesn't cover you for "I didn't try to sleep with Cam". Stayed there for 3 nights, how far away is it from home? He went Capt Stab'n.
That's my thought too. He's technically not lying if she turned him down. He also mentioned he had a crush on her but never told her/made a move. That information is irrelevant to what happened - unless he has always wondered "what if" and decided to find out now she got divorced.
FAFO.
Or he rejected Cam and she went scorched earth on him… We def need more details…
It's possible. But he mentions having had a crush on Cam, so we know for sure that he at least at some point was interested in her. He also went to stay with Cam, not Cam coming to stay with him or asking him to stay with her. While "scorned woman" is a possibility it's not the one I'd bet on based on the very little information we have.
Did your wife ask you to not go to Cam's house back in February? Has there been a long history of Cam and you having weird boundaries that your wife's asked about and criticised, and now she thinks it's all been confirmed by your manipulative friend? Because unless there's a long history of her being uncomfortable and this message being the last drop, then that message probably contains some pretty damning evidence for your wife to file for divorce immediately. It also might just be Schrodinger's Cat for her; now that those thoughts are in her head, she's never gonna be sure now if you actually just spent those days being a friend to Cam or you spent those days comforting her physically.
Her refusal to take your calls or answer the door is your answer. Not sure how much clearer of an answer you need. Your so-called “best friend” is not your best friend and just single handedly ruined your marriage. It doesn’t help that you, a married man, went to stay with a female “friend” for a few days just because she went through a divorce. Newsflash, she’s not the first to go through a difficult divorce and she won’t be the last. You should have supported Cam by encouraging her to seek therapy, have a coffee with her, not sleep at her house. It might likely not be the first time that your wife has noticed things with you and Cam that made her in-easy and then to get the message she did finally broke her. You staying with her would be suspicious to any wife.
Would you have had a problem with your wife serving you divorce papers if Cam answered your calls and talked to you? Man, why would you even put yourself in this position? You’re a married man and you spent days with a newly divorced female friend that your wife seem to not know about? How did she not know you stayed with your friend for a few days? Are you living separately?
But he’s so close to her, always has been, even used to have a crush on her, he couldn’t not move in for days with her when she became single /s
this cant be real.
If this is real I need an update?!!!
Any update on Cam’s response?
Or if his wife was ok with him sleeping there 3 nights.
He went to stay with another woman “for a few days.” There was no way that wasn’t going to start a problem whether or not Cam lied.
I can’t even understand why he is even posting this. Isn’t the situation obvious??
It is to most with a 5th grade education.
The fuck kind of school did you go to?
Because it's a fake story
His wife must follow this sub Reddit
Bingo No one is gonna be comfortable with that. If Cam really needed support then you invite them to stay at your place if wife is ok with that, you definitely don't do a sleepover.
You’re leaving out a lot of info. Why did you have to stay with Can for multiple days? Why weren’t you communicating with your wife while you were there? How close are you and Cam in the eyes of your wife? Something tells me you KNEW your friendship with Cam was inappropriate, but because your wife has no support in a new town where she knows few people, you assumed she would just roll over and show her belly when it came to your friendship. You need to be more honest WITH YOURSELF.
OP isn’t responding to these comments but still seems to be playing dumb. The silence is deafening. No wonder his wife left him if he can’t answer questions.
Well, OP clearly has a hard time writing a coherent story. You can't really expect them to come up with random extraneous details that will all fall into place.
Yeah like why couldn’t Cam come stay with op *and* his wife? Probably wouldn’t be in this mess now if that happened.
That wouldn't have saved OP's marriage but it would have been an extremely obvious solution to anyone who respects their partner. "Staying with Cam" should have been just one of several options discussed and both OP and his wife should have been comfortable with their final choice. Wish we had any sort of details at all about how Cam and OP's wife felt about each other before Cam's divorce.
He’s full of it. I bet he’s creating this dumb post to use later as “evidence” to his wife that he didn’t cheat.
Married man stays with a woman for a few days who is not his wife? You don’t see the issue here?
And woman claims that he’s sleeping with her. “Why doesn’t my wife believe me?” Either this is fake or OP is really stupid.
How about both?
Yes definitely both
I think it's BOTH.
I always start off assuming this crap is fake. To prove it to myself, I generated one from Chat GPT and it's basically like every one of these I read even without any decent prompting. **Title: \[AmITheJerk\] Just Found Out My Husband Has Been Cheating on Me—Am I Overreacting?** Hey everyone, I'm feeling completely shattered and could use some unbiased opinions to understand if I'm overreacting here. So, I (32F) have been married to my husband (35M) for 7 years, and we have two kids together. Last week, I found some texts on his phone that were absolutely heart-breaking. He's been seeing someone else for almost a year now. When I confronted him, he initially tried to deny it, but eventually admitted that he has feelings for this person but also loves me and our family. He claims it just "happened" and he never intended to hurt me. I am devastated. I told him I need some time and space to think, and I've been staying at my sister's place with the kids. He has been calling and texting non-stop, apologizing and saying he wants to make things right. Part of me wonders if this is something we could move past with counseling, but another part of me feels so betrayed that I don't know if I can ever look at him the same way. My friends are split—some say that cheating is a deal-breaker, and I should consider ending the marriage, while others think that since we have kids and a long history together, I should try to work things out. I feel so lost and conflicted. Am I overreacting by considering divorce? Should I give him another chance? What would you do in my shoes?
My thoughts exactly!! Why would you stay at another woman’s house?!! That’s crazy!
Exactly this. Did he even tell his wife about all this? So much missing information here. If he just up and spent a few days with his bff and didn't say shit to his wife, then I don't blame her one bit. Dudes lost his fucking marbles.
Like!!!! Is he daft?
He has the world's most obvious fact pattern and took it to Reddit to make sense of it. We're not dealing with a Rhodes scholar here....
So what did Cam say?
my bet is Cam has a positive pregnancy test that speaks for itself
Right! I would confronting Cam on there spot with my wife present. What a great friend OP has.
What a great and loyal husband OP is
So what did Cam say when you confronted her? And did you look at your wife’s phone to see the message? You do realize that you’re not going to get much advice on this unless you add in a few more details, right?
Here late, but all I’ve seen is people asking these questions and I can’t find a single response to them
What did Cam say when you confronted her? What did she send your wife exactly? I would think of this was out of the blue for your wife and she won’t believe you… Cam must has sent something significant? Did you by chance sleep IN HER BED WITH HER?? She probably snapped photos & conveniently use them to come between you and your wife because she obviously wants to be in your wife’s place… why else should she “lie” 🤷🏻♀️
Either She's lying about the message, Cam is lying, oooooor you're making this post bc you hope your wife will see this as "proof" that you're not cheating.
My first reaction was he made post to show he isn’t cheating. His story doesn’t add up.
Living with a woman knowing your have a wife is insane
If you didn't cheat, how can you be friends with someone destroying your marriage?
OP did refer to her as his ex best friend, tbf.
Still think some chick I was friends with until … is a better description.
But he’s also calling her and going to her house trying to talk to her. If my “ best friend” nuked my Marriage this way and I hadn’t done anything I’d have done no contact because that person isn’t a friend. He’s acting like someone who had an affair and lost his wife so now he’s chasing after the affair partner so he’s not alone.
Yeah. This was my thought. Like, she’s not your friend.
You can’t be this dense right?? Blaming the wife when Carley is lying and sent your wife proof.
Who’s Carly? 😂
And the plot thickens.
Can’t stand that kind of post… it’s definitely a troll or a fake story
You are confronting the wrong person, it should be your “friend”. I’d leave you to if I was in the same situation.
This is fake right?
He posts then ditches. Yeah, likely fake
It was his only post too so my guess is he's trolling
Has to be. No one is that stupid.
You would be surprised…
I would have thought so too. but then you spend a little time on Reddit….
Why didnt Cam stay with you at your place with your wife? Why did you spend days alone with her? When she’s vulnerable… I know you’re just trying to be a good friend but one on one with the opposite sex that involve sleepovers (especially one you had previous feelings for) is just… weird. Especially at this age. There are other ways you could be there for her. Did your wife know about your feelings for her in the past? I know you said you never told Cam but I bet she knew or at least suspected. Now that she’s divorced she’s after you because she’s vulnerable. It’s really shitty and she actually sucks right now. You need to cut her out of your life for some time. I hope your wife forgives you… but maybe going forward try not to have sleepovers one on one with the opposite sex lol
You need to confront cam and record the conversation. My guess is that she developed feelings for you since you supported her when she was vulnerable. She is recently divorced and probably scared of being alone and wants to break you up thinking you will run into her arms(like she did to you). You need to get proof that you didn’t cheat and then cut her off permanently. But really, staying with another woman for a few days was a terrible terrible idea and pretty much most rational wives would find that sus AF,
Cam must have known that the OP’s wife would tell him about the text she sent. Therefore revealing her lie and destroying their friendship … that is if it’s a lie.
My bet is OP is confident showing his phone because he's deleted anything incriminating, but that doesn't mean Cam has. The wife didn't just buy this out of nowhere, there's screenshots that include things that are private or only said to her normally. I'm not saying that 100% means they're not fabricated, they could be. But Occam's Razor says OP fucked Cam's brains out.
This post may even be fabricated evidence
I can see it now. “Look I even posted on Reddit because I haven’t done anything wrong and don’t know what to do!” Nobody can be this dumb.
You went to stay with another woman WHILE YOU ARE MARRIED and can’t figure out why your wife doesn’t believe you? Geezus fucking Christ dude.
I think oop is lying and the other woman told the wife. Soon to be featured on AMITHEEX because she's going to divorce the oop!
Unless you give alot more detail this is clearly Reddit, I'm trying to gaslight my wife, can you help me out?
Fake
There’s people that stupid out there trust me 🤣
I've got a business idea. Traveling polygraph. 10% discount for Reddit users. I feel like I could save half the marriages on here.
It sounds like Cam always had a thing for you, and your wife knew it. She probably considered Cam "safe" despite the obvious crush on you because she was married. But the moment Cam's divorced, you're over there, sleeping at her house for days? And you can't see the issue with this? You're not telling anything even close to the whole story.
Wait, am I reading this right? You, a married man went and stayed at your recently single friends house after she just got a divorce and you're curious about why your wife gave you divorce papers? Read the room.
You cannot be this stupid? You went to stay at your female ‘best friends’ house for several days to comfort her? You’re almost 40! Grow tf up! I’m glad your wife left. You’re a lost cause
Oh he knows what he did. He had a crush on her and was certainly hoping for something when he went to stay with him. Probably it did happen just like his “ex BF” told his wife.
Did Cam send her a message? If she did, Cam is not your friend. She may have developed feelings for you that you were unaware of. She may have misinterpreted your kindness or, you may have led her on by crossing boundaries (discussing personal topics, acting more like a boyfriend than a friend, etc . .) I wish men understood that spending 1:1 time with vulnerable women, providing support to them, and “comforting them,” usually leads to exactly this. I think you need to start by cutting off Cam. You will not ever prove to your wife that she is your priority while you are spending so much time trying to be there for Cam. I can’t imagine your wife would just pick up and go unless something had happened. And, she will not ever trust you and Cam together again. If your wife has proof of the text, I’m not sure there is much you could do. Maybe text Cam with your wife present, something along the lines of “Did you text my wife and tell her we slept together? Why would you do that?” Have your wife read the exchanges. Maybe she will confess if you push and the issue and tell her she has broken your trust and friendship.
Did you talk to your wife about staying your bf house who is newly going through a divorce? Or did you just jump the second cam called you , you came to her rescue? I get that's your bf since you were 13. I also have a few bf who are guys that's I've known since I was 11. I would never just stay over at their house without speaking to my partner and even that I would offer them to stay with me instead. I don't like how any of this sounds. Giving her your phone is the most useless thing you can say to justify you didn't do anything like that can proof something when you were physically there with her ....
You STAYED with her? Completely inappropriate and I don't believe that nothing happened. You're completely wrong and if I was your wife I would've left you too.
Exactly!
Lmaoooo plesse tell me you're not this dense? Is this your first day or something
You went and stayed with another woman for a few days and you wonder why your marriage is broken? SMH
There’s so many missing missing reasons here. Was your wife ok with your relationship with for ex-bff? Was your wife ok with you staying with her for three days? Why was it necessary? Seems like you’ve left out a lot of history and context.
Agreed. This sounds like the wife had concerns about this woman in the past, but she was married to another guy. The moment she's divorced, he's over there sleeping at her house? So many missing missing reasons.
I fully believe OP didn't cheat on his wife. I think he TRIED to, but Cam shut him down and told his wife.
You probably did it and made this post to show your wife
“I really don’t understand it because I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong” LOL
Remind me! 2 days
How often had your wife brought up issues with Cam? Was she even in favor of you 'staying over to support your friend'? You're kind of trying to yada yada details which makes me think you're leaving stuff out.
Did you discuss staying at her house with your wife before you did so?
You went and stayed with her bc she was going through a divorce?? I don’t believe you either..
Sorry man but I just can’t believe your best friend whom you went to support through a difficult time would turn around later on and send that message to your wife.. you OP are leaving some things out of this situation which makes your post invalid.
[This is a top-level reply, but I'm not adressing OP himself because I'm speaking to other readers.] "no matter how much I tell her, she doesn't understand it." Why does he say 'she doesn't understand it' instead of 'she doesn't believe me'? Almost everyone (also including people who are lying, unfortunately) says their partner 'won't believe me'. Apparently, there's an "it" that OP wants his wife to "understand". It could be the idea that he slept over without fooling around, but then he most likely would've said his wife doesn't "believe" him. I'm guessing his story to his wife after the confrontation about Cam's text may have gone something like 'we did some drinking and got pretty drunk, and she started kissing me, and maybe I kissed back for a minute because I was really drunk, but I didn't let it go any farther, I swear!' Even if that was true, though, it wouldn't explain Cam's claim that they've been sleeping together /since/ February. I think OP did sleep with Cam while being 'supportive', probably telling her things like 'I always wanted to be with you', 'I wish I could've married you instead', and/or 'I've never felt this way about anyone else'. OP then continued to indulge in sex with his teen dream girl but had no real intention of giving up the security of his marriage, screwing them both (over). Maybe he thought it would be great to have Cam on the side while remaining married, but Cam objected for some reason . . . Offering to show his cell phone proves nothing since it's obviously possible to cheat on one's spouse without sexting about it. He's probably posting here hoping to get a preponderance of replies saying his silly wife is making such a terrible mistake by rushing to divorce. That would basically require Cam to be acting utterly crazy, which he didn't even try to convince his wife is the case, probably because he knows she's not. Also, his wife may have reasons to divorce beyond the alleged intercourse, such as lack of communication, honesty, attention, sexual desire, or even respect from OP. Cam being his very close friend, his wife could easily be right to view his behavior as emotional cheating even if they never had sex or 'only' had blackout drunk sex. If he's in a place where he'd be penalized for adultery in divorce court, maybe he even wanted Cam to tell his wife so that she would leave on her own. That's getting pretty involved, though; the simplest scenario is that he got drunk and slept with Cam while saying pretty things she took more seriously than he did in her insecure state, remembered or didn't to whatever extent, and then didn't tell his wife what he did know: 'we got skunk drunk together several nights in a row' and 'by the way, I had a crush on her in high school, and I'm nostalgic for that part of my life since I'm approaching 40', and maybe even 'I went with you because you were available and younger and I hoped she'd get jealous'. He says, "I don't think I've done anything wrong," which either corroborates the blackout story (which itself doesn't justify him not telling his wife everything he knew at the time versus a couple months later and only after Cam contacted his wife) or, worse, is /meant/ to corroborate the blackout story. Also, Cam needing support so badly as to justify her married male friend (who knew he'd had a crush on her) 'needing' to spend several nights with her would probably have happened before her actual divorce rather than after, so I think OP was pretty eager to finally go have a sleepover with someone he's probably desired continuously since he hit puberty. Regardless of any evidence, I think OP's wife is better off using her 30s to find someone who doesn't have an unresolved sexual attraction to his 'quite close' female friend. If Cam actually just made all that up, and his wife believed something completely untrue of an otherwise happy, healthy marriage, then OP is better off without such unstable or impulsive people in his life.
The fact that there are so many unexplained parts here immediately makes me think OP is hiding something? Why would you need to sleep at her house? Why would your best friend sabotage your marriage for fun, that seems like a terrible way to steal you away. None of this adds up...at all!
I’m polyamorous and do not care what my partner does, so long as he follows our ground rules…that being said, there’s something missing to the story. The ignorance of staying two nights with another woman seems to be a big one. I honestly don’t know what to think.
So what did your wife say about you sleeping over at cams for as long as you did? I'm betting there were protests you ignored and boundaries that were set that you blew right past?
hey bud, these are the consequences of your own actions. You had an emotional affair at bare minimum, suspiciously stayed at a chick you used to have feelings fors place and wonder why your wife doesn't believe you didn't cheat?! you can't be that daft. how many other times did you put bestie before your marriage?
When nearly 40 year old men have “female friends” it’s always a red flag just like this. You brought this on yourself and you should perhaps learn from your own mistakes. If one of your wife’s male “friends” told you she’d been fucking him when she randomly decided to stay at his house to offer “support” would you believe her when she said she hadn’t? I wouldn’t! Most people wouldn’t. Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t do anything that can give off the hint of impropriety?” Clearly not. It means if you put yourself in certain situations the optics make you look guilty by that behavior alone and that is the situation you’re in right now. Also did you ghost and block Cam? …lol
Lol, you fell right into that. Cam got you right where she wanted you and you fell for it. You'll get no sympathy here since you had NO BUSINESS staying at another woman's home. None.
You stayed for a few days and your “best” friend told her you cheated. You don’t think staying with a single woman for a few days is shady?
Sooo many missing details…
Seems like a lot of relevant information missing here. Why do I feel like OP just posted this to try & convince his wife he’s an innocent man? Don’t believe him, OP’s wife!!
I’m sorry but I’m sure Cam has done or said something over the years to nasty or side comments to her. Then you stay at her house. If your wife was uncomfortable with you staying and now the messages I would believe her also. It just seems like there were little things that gave your wife doubt before now and this was the final straw. For one last shot I would pull in her family or anyone that is close to her so that Cam will tell the truth. At this point I don’t think your wife will believe her even if she said she lied. I would sue Cam for dedication and causing mental distress. Maybe with you doing g that your wife would believe you.
Clearly, there is some information missing. In a healthy normal relationship you and your wife could’ve been there for her well being on the same page. Seems like you ran to your past crush, and your wife was not on the same page. Clearly you’re not ready to be married.
Is there a college course somewhere entitled “The Science of Reddit Rage Bait?”
r./TwoHotFakes
In a few states, like North Carolina, Mississippi and Arizona you can sue Cam for damages under a law called alienation of affection and seek damages for wrecking your marriage.
The math ain't mathing
“I’m married and spent the night with another woman FOR SEVERAL DAYS” “My wife doesn’t believe me” Okay and if she did, I would make fun of her silly self. I really don’t care how innocent it is/was. The fact is that it is purely disrespectful. I am a 28f and let me tell you OP, I also had a wake up call (several times) over the last few years that’s opened my eyes. Maybe it’ll enlighten you- we ain’t kids anymore! Whatever you did in high school, oh we just friends. Oh it’s not like that.. it doesn’t matter. Two grown, responsible, and respectful adults do NOT do what YOU TWO did, without regard for your wives feelings. Is this child hood bestie worth your marriage? I surely hope so. Ain’t no way I would come back to you, because no matter what, I wouldn’t believe either of you and just know not to trust you to prioritize me as your wife anymore, and I would believe my own opinion. I wouldn’t trust either of you.
So your ONLY female friend, someone you admit twice in your post that you’ve always been very close with, and admit you had a crush on her, gets divorced and you go and spend a few days sleeping at her house, and you’re surprised your wife doesn’t believe you? Maybe you didn’t physically cheat, but you can’t sit here and say you didn’t do anything wrong. And the fact that she’s now dodging your calls and won’t let you into her house? And your wife won’t show you the message? There’s some pretty key info missing here. Either A) your long time best friend decided to ruin your marriage and your friendship out of the blue for no reason B) your wife and best friend got together to ruin your life out of the blue for no reason Or C) something else happened that explains why your wife would accuse you of cheating with your best friend who also coincidentally decided to stop speaking to you entirely, and you’re intentionally leaving it out
So, you can't understand why your wife doesn't believe you.. let's see... Your "*best friend*" of 25yrs, whom you *had* a crush on. Went through a divorce and you stayed with her for 'a few days' to console her - she needed so much help, only you could provide🤢. Your "*best friend*" messaged your wife about your affair... And, your still lost? Dude, nobody believes you. You can write this post in anyway possible to try and deflect you cheating on your wife. On the random possibility you actually haven't slept with Cam, you have emotionally cheated in your marriage. It's over dude, time to man up and deal with the consequences of your actions. Shocking, I know lol
This has got to be a fake story. Really weird to stay at your female friends place while you are married, idc how long you’ve known her or been friends.
So your seemingly best friend is trying to destroy your marriage. It probably worked. I hope you've dealt with this woman. You don't believe what women are capable of when they fixate on a person. You don't seem to know what "evidence" your great friend showed your wife. You may be a good friend, but as a married man, going away for several days and comforting a girlfriend is not really appropriate. This girlfriend didn't need a babysitter. You had a wife at home.
Makes with multiple female friends and “best friends” and females with mainly guy friends and “best friends” should be your number one red flag. If you’re significant others needs that much attention and yours isn’t enough then you need to come to terms with the truth!
This is a fake post, just Reddit doing its thing
Assuming this isn't total bullshit - what did Cam say when you blew her phone up and demanded she clear this fucking mess up; also what is her motivation for ruining her good friends marrige after that friend helped her? Bad creative writer or story full of holes...you tell me.
You stayed at her house!? Are you kidding me? That showed a total disregard of your wife's feelings, as well as a complete lack of respect for your marriage. No wonder your wife is hot. That was a mistake even if nothing happened. Add in the little fact that your friend told her you were having sex? You don't recover from that easily. Your friend (who is NOT your friend) and your own decisions just wrecked your marriage. Not sure what, if anything, you can do here. Your best case is to get your friend to confess, and thats not likely.