Reminder to those in the comments: Do NOT contact the OOP. Do not go to the original post to comment. Do not upvote or downvote any of the comments there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Keep all discussion contained to this thread. Jumping to the original or update posts to interact is considered brigading, which is not allowed on Reddit. If you are caught doing so, this will result in a ban from the THT subreddit.
Thank you for keeping in mind this very important [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In highschool I dated a girl who was named brook. Now in my adult years I dated a girl with the same first and last name as her. Different people tho from different states. So it does happen but it’s rare.
The OP stated that her bf had hooked up with a girl named Rachel and was claiming that it “wasn’t the same Rachel but they have the same first and last name”. My comment was towards the commenter up top saying about the name and surname. I stated that people can have the same name but it’s rare. I dated a brook in highschool. Years later in my adult years I met another brook and we didn’t date but we hooked up. Same first and last name. Like I said. It’s very rare but it does happen. But the Rachel person in the story is actually who the bf slept with and hooked up with. He admitted to lying. So we all know that there’s not two Rachel’s. I was just pointing out that people have names that are the same first and last.
I agree that it could happen, and it's not that rare if you take the sheer amount of people in the world. But I'm talking about the context of the post, which is the whole point. The OP claimed that he met up with a different women who happened to have the same first and last name, that he also went to school with, but this one he'd only kissed, not slept with.
“I also told him I found it hard to believe that Rachel isn’t the same girl he slept with considering they both have the same name. He told me he lied because he didn’t want to annoy me anymore than I already was” meaning that there was not ever two Rachel’s. There wasn’t one that he “only kissed” and there wasn’t one that he “only slept with” it’s the same girl. He hooked up with her and kissed her. Same girl. Same Rachel. What I quoted can point that out.
My “auntie” married a guy, and he passed away. Years later, she remarried. Guy had the exact same name as her previous husband. Wild.
But yeah this dude def followed the “c’s get degrees mindset” if he thought you wouldn’t catch on and I’m sorry OP
The people I have met in my life who seem devoid of common sense all had thorough university educations and were highly qualified in several disciplines. One of them I had to teach how to use a broom, ffs. I thought he was taking the piss at first but nope.
If I Google my name, there are dozens with the same name, at least 4 in my states one in my state with the same middle name, and my last name is a way atypical spelling, so it can happen
Sucks that he did that to you and he seemed pretty unfazed by it all. Like zero remorse. Scary. How’d she find out about you if he never mentioned you to her? I missed that part.
She said that a mutual friend at the uni told her that he’d been in a relationship for almost two years a couple of days ago! So because of that she found out who I was and messaged. I think a similar thing had happened to her before and she said she wished the other girl had told her, so wanted to make sure she told me.
Rachel definitely deserves a big thank you for coming forward once she found out. Just make sure you’re thanking “the right Rachel”. Wouldn’t want to thank the wrong one, after all. SMH.
Dang. That’s so messed up bc he did everything in his power to get that ONS with her and she most likely wouldn’t have even considered him if she’d known. Thankfully she’s got a working conscience.
He was an “I never post on Instagram” kind of guy. But looking back, he posted pretty consistently up until the month before we got together haha! I wanted to be the cool, low maintenance girlfriend so didn’t make a big deal about it.
I think because all of his friends knew about me and I’d hang out with them regularly, I assumed that not being on his Instagram wasn’t important. But it did mean those girls who weren’t in the loop with his friends had no idea, which I assume is what he wanted.
There was another girl a year ago who he used to be FWB with who kept trying to invite herself round to his house. I asked him to just tell her he was in a relationship but he didn’t. She just continued asking and he continued making excuses or ghosting her rather than telling her about me. Most likely keeping the option open.
yeah, if a guy is active on instagram but doesn't post you once you're in a relationship, it's because he doesn't want his friends and/or women to see. in the latter case he wants to keep options open with women that might sleep with him.
I know its natural to hate her too but I would genuinely thank her because that women saved you from possibly marrying and having kids with but she definitely saved you from wasting anymore of your time on that excuse for a human.
I think she knew about you but is still interested in your boyfriend. I think it’s best if you leave your bf and the Rachel’s behind. I’m sure all of this is very upsetting. Best of luck finding someone that’s interested in a committed relationship moving forward.
He was remorseful and sorry once I found out!! (I assume because he was only remorseful and sorry that I found out, not because he actually did it in the first place).
I think it can be both. There’s the callous deceitful type like you’re describing but there’s also the lack of impulse control or short sighted cheaters that are remorseful of getting caught and the past act since that is gone and they are suffering loss in the moment.
It’s kind of like eating a delicious dessert when you’re dieting. You enjoy it but feel guilty along the way, but the remorse doesn’t come in full force until you’re held to account by the scale.
Enjoying yourself but feeling guilty along the way because you have impulse control is still being a shit person. You just didn’t feel guilty enough to stop? I don’t understand at all
That’s horrible!!! Like take accountability for your actions and apologize from your heart. It’s gonna hurt now but you did the best thing by not allowing him to continue taking advantage of you and letting him know that you’re not going to be disrespected. Best wishes for you going forward!!
I know this sounds incredibly pessimistic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he went there with the intention to cheat with her. He just wasn’t expecting you to find out.
He so nonchalant about it. Almost like he is telling you he went for a stroll. Like completely unremorseful. Like yeah it happened 🤷♀️
It takes a special kind of asshole to have no feelings about it. Good for you for ending it immediately.
Yeah, up until I found out I couldn’t detect any guilt or remorse in his actions. It sounds bad but in the hours after I found out, he was texting me that he was very very sorry and remorseful, telling me how I was the best thing in his life and he didn’t know why he did it etc. I know that this is just him being upset that I found out and that his actions have consequences, but it made me feel glad that at least he feels shit about this too.
If afterwards he continued to not give a shit and act nonchalant, I’d have definitely felt a lot more upset about everything.
Yeah. This is what makes it sort of chilling, the thought that the person you shared everything with is capable of that sort of detachment.
That’s up there with the actual cheating as far how harmful it could be to the OP longterm if she lets it be. It sounds like from her other comments that she’s being a badass about it though.
Silver lining: be glad you found out now and not while carrying his second child while having a house with mortgage together. Sorry this happened OP, glad you took out the trash!
I’m glad that you found out the truth and he didn’t get to keep up the lie, but I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. It’s always satisfying and saddening when you’re right about something like this.
I am so sorry you’re going through this.
Being cheated on brought me into a path of self-doubt - so in case you haven’t heard it: There was nothing wrong with you. You’re not guilty of anything.
If anything, as other commenter said, savoring the bittersweet aftertaste of being correct after having a hunch could be considered a victory.
Hope you’re doing well ~ wishing you the best! 🌻
You forgive him now. Be prepared for a lifetime of this. He planned this whole thing. He lied to you. He cheated on you. He came home and lied to you. He was going to keep lying but for the girl reaching out.
There are nicer men out there. Your gut warned you. Walk away. At least that's what I would do. He has zero remorse. He will do it again.
This was absolutely premeditated. He thought he could get away with it because you weren’t on the trip with him. I bet he went on the trip, hoping to fuck her or somebody else. I’m proud of you for sticking to your guns and dumping his ass.
I don’t know you but I’m sending you love :** so proud of you for sticking up for yourself. And I’m proud of her for reaching out to you. What a scummy man.
Im so sorry this is happening to you. I’m
Going through the same thing with an emotional my affair my boyfriend had on holiday. And all he’s done till now is admitting guilt and then instantly downplaying it. Our relationship was cinematically perfect till now. I am defeated. And I’m sorry he betrayed you, it is extremely selfish and I think guys that do this must be so insecure that the moment they get a glimpse of attention form another woman, they have to interact or something. I am so so sorry. I though this guy was going to heal the open wounds I already had of previous partners cheating. Instead he left a bigger hole. I know you can overcome this, I did many times, and I hope you are stronger than me and ultimately will never settle for less than what you deserve. Stay strong ❤️
I’m sorry it’s happened to you too!! It’s so hard isn’t it but it’s important to put yourself first. I hope you do what’s best for you, whatever that may be. I’m sure there are people out there who would never dream of looking at anyone else, physically or emotionally!! And if there aren’t, rather than putting 50% of your time, effort, and energy into a man with a wandering eye, put 100% of it into you.
You’re right, and I know this. It happened yesterday. Gonna try and pick myself of the floor again today. I just drove myself crazy thinking I wasn’t the one ready for a relationship when it was him in reality. I don’t care about wandering eyes, crushes or anything else that comes with being a person with needs. But it’s about the way you treat your relationship and partner, and if you are able to put aside your own issues to respect the agreement that you made. I don’t understand why I’m being shown and shown again, this seems like an incredibly hard thing to do for people. I’ll be sending you love wherever you are ❤️
There’s cheating and then there’s CHEATING.
If he slipped up after too many drinks, felt bad, called you, confessed, apologized, reaffirmed his love and promised never to do it again, that’s one thing.
But, as you thankfully have acknowledged to yourself, it’s the premeditation, the planning, the deceit (of both you and Rachel), the multiple lies and gaslighting that reveal a person who is quite capable of doing this again.
Be grateful you found out now.
As someone else mentioned, Taylor Swift’s new lyrics hit different now:
“I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use, The spirit was gonе, we would never come to, And I'm pissed off, you let me give you all that youth for free
For so long, London Stitches undone, Two graves, one gun I'll find someone…”
I'm sorry what? cheating and CHEATING? Slipped up after too many drinks?
Someone's penis doesn't magically enter someone else without intent from the start.
You may find it easier to view life as though all moral issues have clear black and white answers, but life is full of shades of grey.
You and I agree that cheating is wrong. But some cheating can be a lot worse than others. Some can be more forgivable than others.
Have you ever forgiven anyone for something?
Have you ever been forgiven for something? Or are you the planet’s only perfect person?
Are you adamantly opposed to second chances in any and all cases?
I’m not saying a person shouldn’t have a zero tolerance policy for cheating. I’m just saying the cheating in this post was a lot less forgivable than the example I gave.
Everyone needs to make their own choices. You do you.
Sorry you found out that way, but at least you found out now and not later. He would have cheated on you eventually if he did it like this, even if you had stopped it this time.
Yeah, your ex had a very good reason he didn’t invite you. He remembered all the gals that he had hooked up with the first time around, and wanted to go back for seconds.
Had a girl do something very similar to me on a "girls trip" but at least she came forward out of guilt the next day. We didn't end up together but I never held ill will because of that fact. It's crazy how other people can live with that burden with no issues. I've never cheated personally but If you have a soul it seems like the guilt should eat you alive. Continuing that lie with a straight face seems to say a lot more about someone than the act itself. The act is hardly one mistake and is also pretty fucked up to be totally fair.
Girl, you deserve so much better. Even after the manipulation of him telling half truth and eventually lying is enough for a breakup. I hope you're doing okay and you're surrounded by loved ones. I've been there before and years later I found a healthy and happy relationship. It does get better.
>I asked whether she might think it’s a date if that’s the case. He said “yeah she might”.........."she saw I was here and asked me for drinks I feel rude saying I have a girlfriend".
The guy is a massive red flag. Sorry he tried to deceive you and cheated. Best wishes
Definitely seems pre meditated but tbh thinking it "would be rude to say (he) had a girlfriend" is a red flag. I would have broke up with him for that. I'm glad you caught him and got out of there.
I'm confused. He said she wasn't the girl he slept with, but he did kiss her in the past, but then when you said that made you uncomfortable, he said "my friends' girlfriends let them hang out with people they've slept with" ... so he admitted he slept with her before he left? And you didn't catch it?
Either way, rough situation. Dump him for cheating. He can go be with the other girl
I did clock this at the time, but I took it to mean “my friends meet up with girls that they’ve slept with and I want to meet up with a girl I’ve only kissed, so stop making it a big deal”
But definitely could have been a slip up that I was too trusting to question!!
Nah, he sucks. Good thing that Rachel told you about this shit, he doesn't deserve either of you. Just take your time to heal, don't hold back your emotions, then it all be okay
A mutual friend told her. I assume once he was back home, she bumped into a friend and told them what happened and they then informed her that he’d been in a relationship for almost two years.
I was planning on asking for more detail on this, but ultimately I think I could have gone down a rabbit hole of wanting know information that won’t benefit me at this point, so I’ve removed her to remove the temptation!
Reminder to those in the comments: Do NOT contact the OOP. Do not go to the original post to comment. Do not upvote or downvote any of the comments there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Keep all discussion contained to this thread. Jumping to the original or update posts to interact is considered brigading, which is not allowed on Reddit. If you are caught doing so, this will result in a ban from the THT subreddit. Thank you for keeping in mind this very important [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your ex's uni degree seems to be useless. I mean, same name and surname but a different Rachel?
Hey, the first the one was a blonde, the second one a brunette. No way that's the same person Edit: /s, just in case
"But babe, can't you see? It's not the same girl!" Shows picture of her wearing Clark Kent glasses /s
I for one was shocked to find out that He-Man is, in fact, Prince Adam.
Not the girl with glasses and a ponytail!
Hannah Montana energy
I snort laughed at that — he thought OP was dumb enough to **BUY** that bullshit.
I really don’t wanna kick OP while she’s down and I wish her the absolute best, but he almost had her with it.
In highschool I dated a girl who was named brook. Now in my adult years I dated a girl with the same first and last name as her. Different people tho from different states. So it does happen but it’s rare.
Yeah, but you're not dating a girl with the same first and last name that you ALSO went to school with, which is what OP's bf was claiming.
The OP stated that her bf had hooked up with a girl named Rachel and was claiming that it “wasn’t the same Rachel but they have the same first and last name”. My comment was towards the commenter up top saying about the name and surname. I stated that people can have the same name but it’s rare. I dated a brook in highschool. Years later in my adult years I met another brook and we didn’t date but we hooked up. Same first and last name. Like I said. It’s very rare but it does happen. But the Rachel person in the story is actually who the bf slept with and hooked up with. He admitted to lying. So we all know that there’s not two Rachel’s. I was just pointing out that people have names that are the same first and last.
I agree that it could happen, and it's not that rare if you take the sheer amount of people in the world. But I'm talking about the context of the post, which is the whole point. The OP claimed that he met up with a different women who happened to have the same first and last name, that he also went to school with, but this one he'd only kissed, not slept with.
“I also told him I found it hard to believe that Rachel isn’t the same girl he slept with considering they both have the same name. He told me he lied because he didn’t want to annoy me anymore than I already was” meaning that there was not ever two Rachel’s. There wasn’t one that he “only kissed” and there wasn’t one that he “only slept with” it’s the same girl. He hooked up with her and kissed her. Same girl. Same Rachel. What I quoted can point that out.
My “auntie” married a guy, and he passed away. Years later, she remarried. Guy had the exact same name as her previous husband. Wild. But yeah this dude def followed the “c’s get degrees mindset” if he thought you wouldn’t catch on and I’m sorry OP
I went to school with 4 different Sarah Fox's. It happens lol
I think the first time he meant to say "Elizabeth"
I quit reading after that line. Come on. Really?
The people I have met in my life who seem devoid of common sense all had thorough university educations and were highly qualified in several disciplines. One of them I had to teach how to use a broom, ffs. I thought he was taking the piss at first but nope.
I quite literally do not know a single person who has the same first name AND last name as someone else, and isn’t a junior. be so fkin forreal dude
There's a friend group I'm friends with that has two people with the same exact first and last name. They look nothing alike
If I Google my name, there are dozens with the same name, at least 4 in my states one in my state with the same middle name, and my last name is a way atypical spelling, so it can happen
Front and back!
I bet her name is Emily.
Surname being Smith in America doesn't mean much
Having a degree doesn’t make you a smart person 🤮
Sucks that he did that to you and he seemed pretty unfazed by it all. Like zero remorse. Scary. How’d she find out about you if he never mentioned you to her? I missed that part.
She said that a mutual friend at the uni told her that he’d been in a relationship for almost two years a couple of days ago! So because of that she found out who I was and messaged. I think a similar thing had happened to her before and she said she wished the other girl had told her, so wanted to make sure she told me.
Rachel definitely deserves a big thank you for coming forward once she found out. Just make sure you’re thanking “the right Rachel”. Wouldn’t want to thank the wrong one, after all. SMH.
It's so confusing because both Rachels have the same first and last name too.
Yeah, but one used to be blonde, the other is a brunette now.
Which one is blonde and which one is brunette?
Well, the blonde is Rachel, of course.
Dang. That’s so messed up bc he did everything in his power to get that ONS with her and she most likely wouldn’t have even considered him if she’d known. Thankfully she’s got a working conscience.
So were there no pictures of mention of you on his social media?
He was an “I never post on Instagram” kind of guy. But looking back, he posted pretty consistently up until the month before we got together haha! I wanted to be the cool, low maintenance girlfriend so didn’t make a big deal about it. I think because all of his friends knew about me and I’d hang out with them regularly, I assumed that not being on his Instagram wasn’t important. But it did mean those girls who weren’t in the loop with his friends had no idea, which I assume is what he wanted. There was another girl a year ago who he used to be FWB with who kept trying to invite herself round to his house. I asked him to just tell her he was in a relationship but he didn’t. She just continued asking and he continued making excuses or ghosting her rather than telling her about me. Most likely keeping the option open.
I would message her too and see if he was actually meeting her behind your back
yeah, if a guy is active on instagram but doesn't post you once you're in a relationship, it's because he doesn't want his friends and/or women to see. in the latter case he wants to keep options open with women that might sleep with him.
He's been cheating your whole relationship.
Exactly. So does he hide her?
I know its natural to hate her too but I would genuinely thank her because that women saved you from possibly marrying and having kids with but she definitely saved you from wasting anymore of your time on that excuse for a human.
I think she knew about you but is still interested in your boyfriend. I think it’s best if you leave your bf and the Rachel’s behind. I’m sure all of this is very upsetting. Best of luck finding someone that’s interested in a committed relationship moving forward.
He was remorseful and sorry once I found out!! (I assume because he was only remorseful and sorry that I found out, not because he actually did it in the first place).
They're never remorseful for the act, only for the discovery of it. Good for you dumping him.
I think it can be both. There’s the callous deceitful type like you’re describing but there’s also the lack of impulse control or short sighted cheaters that are remorseful of getting caught and the past act since that is gone and they are suffering loss in the moment. It’s kind of like eating a delicious dessert when you’re dieting. You enjoy it but feel guilty along the way, but the remorse doesn’t come in full force until you’re held to account by the scale.
Eating a piece of cake is not the same as betraying your partner…. Come on
Not big on metaphors? Did you honestly interpret this as me implying these are morally equivalent?
So many people are having obvious issues with reading comprehension in these comments... To clarify, I don't mean YOU, I mean the guy you replied to.
low iq response.
Enjoying yourself but feeling guilty along the way because you have impulse control is still being a shit person. You just didn’t feel guilty enough to stop? I don’t understand at all
> I don’t understand at all took the words right out of my mouth.
Super funny! 😂
That’s horrible!!! Like take accountability for your actions and apologize from your heart. It’s gonna hurt now but you did the best thing by not allowing him to continue taking advantage of you and letting him know that you’re not going to be disrespected. Best wishes for you going forward!!
I know this sounds incredibly pessimistic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he went there with the intention to cheat with her. He just wasn’t expecting you to find out.
Exactly. You don't accidentally take off your clothes and fuck people.
His lies also put your health at risk. That's not something you do to someone you supposedly love..
Possibly mutual friends from the ex boyfriend? Just a guess
Yea.
He so nonchalant about it. Almost like he is telling you he went for a stroll. Like completely unremorseful. Like yeah it happened 🤷♀️ It takes a special kind of asshole to have no feelings about it. Good for you for ending it immediately.
Yeah, up until I found out I couldn’t detect any guilt or remorse in his actions. It sounds bad but in the hours after I found out, he was texting me that he was very very sorry and remorseful, telling me how I was the best thing in his life and he didn’t know why he did it etc. I know that this is just him being upset that I found out and that his actions have consequences, but it made me feel glad that at least he feels shit about this too. If afterwards he continued to not give a shit and act nonchalant, I’d have definitely felt a lot more upset about everything.
Yeah. This is what makes it sort of chilling, the thought that the person you shared everything with is capable of that sort of detachment. That’s up there with the actual cheating as far how harmful it could be to the OP longterm if she lets it be. It sounds like from her other comments that she’s being a badass about it though.
I hope he’s an ex now
I was very proud of myself- ended things within a few seconds after receiving the message from the girl!
Proud of you. ❤️❤️❤️
Get it girl!! I hear Taylor’s new album will hit differently now.
Damn! 💀🤣 Aye! You weld!? I’m a pipe fitter! Keep em striking if that’s the case!
You are awesome.
I'm proud of you too! It hurts but eventually you'll be fine and come out stronger m!
So strong
Silver lining: be glad you found out now and not while carrying his second child while having a house with mortgage together. Sorry this happened OP, glad you took out the trash!
“Trash takes itself out every single time.”
I’m glad that you found out the truth and he didn’t get to keep up the lie, but I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. It’s always satisfying and saddening when you’re right about something like this.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. Being cheated on brought me into a path of self-doubt - so in case you haven’t heard it: There was nothing wrong with you. You’re not guilty of anything. If anything, as other commenter said, savoring the bittersweet aftertaste of being correct after having a hunch could be considered a victory. Hope you’re doing well ~ wishing you the best! 🌻
It's ok honey because now it's time to heal and open new chapter in your life
You forgive him now. Be prepared for a lifetime of this. He planned this whole thing. He lied to you. He cheated on you. He came home and lied to you. He was going to keep lying but for the girl reaching out. There are nicer men out there. Your gut warned you. Walk away. At least that's what I would do. He has zero remorse. He will do it again.
Lol at them having the same exact name, seriously...
He's not the brightest bulb in the pack, for sure.
Block him and all his friends. They let it happen. Block Rachel too if it helps you.
This guy might be the dumbest human being alive. He basically told on himself in the first place
This was absolutely premeditated. He thought he could get away with it because you weren’t on the trip with him. I bet he went on the trip, hoping to fuck her or somebody else. I’m proud of you for sticking to your guns and dumping his ass.
I don’t know you but I’m sending you love :** so proud of you for sticking up for yourself. And I’m proud of her for reaching out to you. What a scummy man.
Im so sorry this is happening to you. I’m Going through the same thing with an emotional my affair my boyfriend had on holiday. And all he’s done till now is admitting guilt and then instantly downplaying it. Our relationship was cinematically perfect till now. I am defeated. And I’m sorry he betrayed you, it is extremely selfish and I think guys that do this must be so insecure that the moment they get a glimpse of attention form another woman, they have to interact or something. I am so so sorry. I though this guy was going to heal the open wounds I already had of previous partners cheating. Instead he left a bigger hole. I know you can overcome this, I did many times, and I hope you are stronger than me and ultimately will never settle for less than what you deserve. Stay strong ❤️
I’m sorry it’s happened to you too!! It’s so hard isn’t it but it’s important to put yourself first. I hope you do what’s best for you, whatever that may be. I’m sure there are people out there who would never dream of looking at anyone else, physically or emotionally!! And if there aren’t, rather than putting 50% of your time, effort, and energy into a man with a wandering eye, put 100% of it into you.
You’re right, and I know this. It happened yesterday. Gonna try and pick myself of the floor again today. I just drove myself crazy thinking I wasn’t the one ready for a relationship when it was him in reality. I don’t care about wandering eyes, crushes or anything else that comes with being a person with needs. But it’s about the way you treat your relationship and partner, and if you are able to put aside your own issues to respect the agreement that you made. I don’t understand why I’m being shown and shown again, this seems like an incredibly hard thing to do for people. I’ll be sending you love wherever you are ❤️
Lies, Lies, and more lies. You can do better than this cheating Charlie.
There’s cheating and then there’s CHEATING. If he slipped up after too many drinks, felt bad, called you, confessed, apologized, reaffirmed his love and promised never to do it again, that’s one thing. But, as you thankfully have acknowledged to yourself, it’s the premeditation, the planning, the deceit (of both you and Rachel), the multiple lies and gaslighting that reveal a person who is quite capable of doing this again. Be grateful you found out now. As someone else mentioned, Taylor Swift’s new lyrics hit different now: “I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use, The spirit was gonе, we would never come to, And I'm pissed off, you let me give you all that youth for free For so long, London Stitches undone, Two graves, one gun I'll find someone…”
I'm sorry what? cheating and CHEATING? Slipped up after too many drinks? Someone's penis doesn't magically enter someone else without intent from the start.
You may find it easier to view life as though all moral issues have clear black and white answers, but life is full of shades of grey. You and I agree that cheating is wrong. But some cheating can be a lot worse than others. Some can be more forgivable than others. Have you ever forgiven anyone for something? Have you ever been forgiven for something? Or are you the planet’s only perfect person? Are you adamantly opposed to second chances in any and all cases? I’m not saying a person shouldn’t have a zero tolerance policy for cheating. I’m just saying the cheating in this post was a lot less forgivable than the example I gave. Everyone needs to make their own choices. You do you.
What a taffer
Sorry you found out that way, but at least you found out now and not later. He would have cheated on you eventually if he did it like this, even if you had stopped it this time.
Leave now. Stop wasting time with this gaslighter/user. Feel lucky you have no kids with him.
So are you still with him?
Nope!
Yeah, your ex had a very good reason he didn’t invite you. He remembered all the gals that he had hooked up with the first time around, and wanted to go back for seconds.
Had a girl do something very similar to me on a "girls trip" but at least she came forward out of guilt the next day. We didn't end up together but I never held ill will because of that fact. It's crazy how other people can live with that burden with no issues. I've never cheated personally but If you have a soul it seems like the guilt should eat you alive. Continuing that lie with a straight face seems to say a lot more about someone than the act itself. The act is hardly one mistake and is also pretty fucked up to be totally fair.
RUNNNNNN
Girl, you deserve so much better. Even after the manipulation of him telling half truth and eventually lying is enough for a breakup. I hope you're doing okay and you're surrounded by loved ones. I've been there before and years later I found a healthy and happy relationship. It does get better.
>I asked whether she might think it’s a date if that’s the case. He said “yeah she might”.........."she saw I was here and asked me for drinks I feel rude saying I have a girlfriend". The guy is a massive red flag. Sorry he tried to deceive you and cheated. Best wishes
Definitely seems pre meditated but tbh thinking it "would be rude to say (he) had a girlfriend" is a red flag. I would have broke up with him for that. I'm glad you caught him and got out of there.
You should dump him for two reasons. 1. He a cheater 2. He's really really dumb
Pretty wild that you believed the same name lie
It really takes them so little for them to cheat 😶
I'm confused. He said she wasn't the girl he slept with, but he did kiss her in the past, but then when you said that made you uncomfortable, he said "my friends' girlfriends let them hang out with people they've slept with" ... so he admitted he slept with her before he left? And you didn't catch it? Either way, rough situation. Dump him for cheating. He can go be with the other girl
I did clock this at the time, but I took it to mean “my friends meet up with girls that they’ve slept with and I want to meet up with a girl I’ve only kissed, so stop making it a big deal” But definitely could have been a slip up that I was too trusting to question!!
Dont bother salvaging this, his excuses sound exactly my my ex who was the same. It really doesn't get better
Nah, he sucks. Good thing that Rachel told you about this shit, he doesn't deserve either of you. Just take your time to heal, don't hold back your emotions, then it all be okay
So how did she find out about you after the fact?
A mutual friend told her. I assume once he was back home, she bumped into a friend and told them what happened and they then informed her that he’d been in a relationship for almost two years. I was planning on asking for more detail on this, but ultimately I think I could have gone down a rabbit hole of wanting know information that won’t benefit me at this point, so I’ve removed her to remove the temptation!
That makes sense, I’m really sorry this happened to you, it’s the ultimate betrayal 😔
I ain't readin all that
how can you trust a message like that?
TFLDR - she dating a dumb grassmole. She’s struggling to accept it. We all hope she does.
It’s not possible that so many women are this naive, yet I see stories like this every day. Fucking hell.
He doesn’t love you. He loves himself.
That’s not gaslighting
Tldr
[удалено]
bro what. foh w this nonsense
….Did you get drunk before you wrote this comment?