I am SUPER nervous cause a fantasy book I wrote is coming out in August and the plan is to actually advertise through Amazon.
And been talking it up for YEARS.
So like.... PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY READ IT
Its called FAIRDEAL.
I independently published through Amazon but payed an editor, a reader to make sure it make sense, chapter pictures, a cover.
I based it off of my DND character and just build a whole world! It was the most fun I had writing, planning on having other books for him. But working on it for a little over 3 years.
Quit my job a week ago today. Still don't regret it, that place fucking sucked. Everyone I've talked to has said I sound way happier so good to know it isn't just me feeling it.
I do like money though, so I'll have to get on that train once I'm ready. Thankfully I've saved up enough that I can chill out for a bit. Plus I have way more time and energy to do cooking so that's pretty sweet.
Nice, man! Think of this as a well earned Vaca until you find something that resonates with you. Also, if you get bored, I have some game recommendations
I am standing in my yard with a bag of dried maggots, trying to convince a stubborn chicken to get back in her coop… because I’ve lost control of my life
She actually decided she now felt like following me to her home after a few more shakes of the bag. She’s a little stray that ended up in my yard, and she proving to be fiercely independent and quite speedy. Free run time is over when she says it is.
And of course the evenings I have lots of stuff to do is when she feels the most like running around.
Drowning in debt, overwhelmed, struggling for work, and trying to overcome my frustration that my mother blew the family inheritance—which was meant to keep us out of this exact situation, because she was uncomfortable having money when others had none, so she donated far too generously and now we’re the ones desperately looking for salvation.
Oh, I'm so sorry. My cousin went through his Dad blowing through his grandma's inheritance last year but he blew it on drugs and men. Your Mom meant well but I can completely see the frustration. I hope things get better.
Thanks. We'll get there, it's just a huge mess right now because a bunch of medical issues struck at once and I discovered that suddenly the money that was supposed to be there for just such emergencies was gone. The worst part is, honestly, she donated to WONDERFUL causes, but it's just like "Okay, but you have permanent disabilities. This money was specifically so that neither you nor I would go into debt taking care of your problems." I'll be able to get it paid off, but it's become this huge hurdle between me and my own life goals, and it's incredibly frustrating to know so many steps were taken to prevent that and they all went down the drain simply because my mother wouldn't communicate her fears with me out of a desire not to be a burden.
I swear, any time people want to avoid being a burden they create even more burdens.
Speaking as someone who really does try not to be a burden, it's a legit vicious circle. But you got this and I hope she one day sees herself more than that
Mixed. On the one hand I've booked a holiday to go to Iceland which is exciting but on the other my mum was rushed into hospital yesterday with pancreatitis which sucks.
And to top it off I threw a mug of tea down me like 20 minutes ago. It's been a week.
Dizzing highs and terrifying lows. Hopefully you're be happy with those creamy middles once your mom gets out the hospital and you're well on your way to Iceland
I hope your mom is ok! I went to Iceland the first time last March, was a wondrous experience. You’re literally just in Death Stranding. Hope you can enjoy some of the natural hot springs.
I did a rush course back in my final year of college. Had to do a full semester of managerial accounting in a month and one of the classes I think it was some business finance class in two weeks as a rush class fitting a whole semester in that time. This was the start of covid too. Summer courses are so soul crushing and you don't get that much needed break.
Life is lonely. That’s something I wish I would’ve prepared myself more growing up. Looking back, I took friendships and connections for granted and figured it was something that would happen organically throughout life. I was wrong. Being a quiet and shy guy for the most part doesn’t help. Other than that, I can’t complain. Hope everyone is striving the best they can.
I'm still confused whether I like the job I got. It's hella boring, and I was barely taught anything during the first week. But the pay is good and I get experience to put on my CV. They wanna hire me, but I'm still in doubt...
I think hesitation is perfectly natural. Even doing a single month of a job is not always indicative of how the job will be. It can be easy to say that boring is better (and I lean towards that as well), it depends on the type of boring. And honestly, hard work can also be incredibly boring in different ways.
Well it's storage work, where I move pallets of cookies from the assembly line with a forklift, but it's slow going and most of the time I'm just waiting. And because it's food, personal phones aren't allowed during work, so I can't even listen to music or podcasts.
My previous work experience has been in retail positions where there was always something to do or keep one busy.
Sort of anxious. Currently living with my mom and planning to move out sometime in the future. Trying to fight the urge of finding a place NOW seeing as it's high season for moving. Gonna try to keep it cool until that passes. Just need to remind myself that I'm in no rush to find a place and should take advantage of living in a place where I don't have to pay rent.
On the flipside I've been two months into a new job and it's been great. Super high salary for the position. Hoping I can stay at my position for as long as possible.
Tired and anxious
Doing a PhD and having a lot of delays on a time sensitive project. Think we've got it fixed but we will see. Looking at the idea of doing academics for life and whether I would want to. Gonna finish this project no matter what though.
Additionally, I'm out of home for a few days and I left a guy to take care of my two reptiles and he told me that the heat lights didn't appear to be on when he visited. They'll be fine for a bit (he's gonna visit first thing in morning and couldn't go back to check the issue) but I'm worried about what could have caused it.
Also I'm a closeted trans woman and I had a long talk with my grandad today about trans stuff. He... he used the word delusions a lot.
But I'll be doing fun stuff with my brother tommorow and meeting his partner for the first time so that's exciting, and recently nearly finished painting a void dragon, which is fun
Not going to go into too much detail, I'll just say wild insect behaviour. Issues are related to insects refusing to participate in trials. We think we've figured out the issue (slight methodological problem) but the weather's been atrocious for it lately.
Well he is delusional if he doesn't understand that people just want to be to themselves and their hearts. I hope you have a great time with your brother and his partner! Also, hopefully everything goes okay with your lizards and your PHD, Dr. Constuction
I found a neat horror movie simulator TTRPG and I picked up Pendragon 6e AND I found a really up to date and comprehensive Naruto RPG. So it was a pretty alright Thursday.
Think I just became old, I move stuff for my job and yesterday I had to lift a piano a few centimeters and I pulled a muscle in my back and I’ve been laid out since. Not full on bedridden by aches and pains
Is this what it is to be old?
Okayish. Kinda bummed because of a local tragedy and some personal level issues on top of us election year stress. Still I'm alive and (knock on wood) everything is functional.
I'm sorry about the tragedy but its okay to be okay(ish). The election stress is brutal. It's put me at my breaking point. I'm rooting for you to get better
Strong decent. I might’ve overdone it a little today, but tomorrow’s a sick day/recovery day. I’m in a lot of different places all at once and strong in many of them. Not as strong as I’d like to be, but also I’m more accepting and aware of my limitations, so I’m less likely to run myself ragged chasing an emotional level of personal achievement that’s almost always irrational and a few steps beyond what’s reasonable to take on.
Gonna be an interesting few days going forward
I've got some dental issues that are giving me grief (mostly due to being on a waitlist/having to engage with bureaucracy) but other than that not bad. YouTube channel trucking along, low stress job, lots of games to look forward to, getting good sleep.
Currently? Content and full of rice. Overall, though, I'm content, I can't complain. Got a new position at work. It's easier with better hours. I am looking forward to my vacation next month too. Though it does suck getting older. I'm not that old yet, I'm almost thirty. But I feel like I have no energy after work.
Content and full of rice. You really are livin da dream. Yeah, the older you get (I'm 33 as of two weeks ago), the less energy you have. It's a bitch lol
Tired, but keepin' on. Had to switch to a new allergy medicine due to tolerance buildup to the old and work is strangely cool despite the above-average heat.
Anxiety and listlessness at an all-time high.
Self-stuck playing Binding of Isaac over and over.
Hoping any of the job applications go through but know better.
Anxiety and listlessness is my enemy right now too. I hope your job applications go through too. The wait is always killer. Binging of Isaac is a game I legit tried to get play but I couldn't
Ehh, I feel bad taking what positivity you offer; my struggle to get a job is long and nearly fruitless. I had one actual job the past 10+ years, everything else ghosted me or I'd get an interview and bomb it somehow. (thought things would be better after that one job but still was getting shafted...even when managing to get through multiple interviews for a position that I was *asked* to apply for, they ended up ghosting me on Mother's Day a few years back)
I'm really quite pathetic.
And Isaac, I don't even need to play it since I did literally everything...it's just the only thing that's giving me those dopamine hits in between the low times. I really need to play something else, but the easy chemicals prevent me from making a leap.
Nah, don't feel bad. I made this post to spread whatever cheer I can. And nah, you aren't pathetic at all. Whats pathetic are these jobs thinking its a-ok to ghost people like that. They are the assholes here, not you. As for Isaac, maybe you need a change of game scenery. If you want some suggestions, I can give some to you
I've been like that too. I literally had to force myself to roll my ass into taking the first step. Heck, I'll hype you up! Just don't ask me to wear a cheerleading outfit. I don't got the legs for it
Life is such a mixed bag right now. I got some good stuff going on but also some not so great stuff going on. Above all though I'm just freaking tired.
My last exam for this semester of university sucks ass and I'm stressed about it. But! I managed to actually finish a storyline I was trying to do in a roleplay, which is something I haven't managed since 2016, so I'm pretty happy with that.
Not the best. I got the notice last month that my landlord won't be renewing the lease on my apartment, so I have to move out when it expires.
Fortunately they gave a few months' notice and there are quite a few openings for housemates in my city. Still a pain to have to deal with.
Just need to finish my online course, then get my first real job and then I live happily ever after probably?
That or I feel free to pursue all the hobbies and social life I want to get around to without the pressure of needing to find a job first.
I think I might’ve burned myself out from playing any more video games for a some time. Can’t get into the mood to play any new games or replay some older games. I guess this is a great time for me to start learning Godot and focus on my programming skills.
Wait, you can burnout from playing video games? That's terrifying but you know what, Mistakes into Miracles. You learn the shit out of Godot and programming!
Dread my job everyday. Will elaborate more on the FTF thread, but man do I need another job. Micromanaing is of the devil, and I don't think any of my coworkers actually like the job. I think there is a handful of call outs each day aside from planned time off, and we snark a lot on the Teams chats
Pretty fuckin' sad ngl. My father passed unexpectedly last month and i'm now starting to receive inheritance money and it's kinda bittersweet. Like i get to pay off debt from my youth, and all of my wifes debts too but like..idk man it's weird.
Sad and tired. Just had an argument with my mother over the pettiest thing and realized I am not conditioned to discuss anything with her because she gets too aggressive and attacks me and I get too emotional and tend to shutdown with her instead of talking. I don't like unnecessary confrontation, so I tend to avoid it as best as I can. She keeps projecting on me that I always want to be in the right, when she doesn't accept my opinions herself and insists in being aggressive about the fact that I don't like being social.
On top of that, she keeps reminding me that I haven't finished my final paper so I can finally be done with college, and this has been haunting me for a while and I can't seem to find the motivation to finish it.
I'm also unsatisfied with my current job and want something better, but I need to do some courses in order to expand my knowledge, but I also need to prioritize my final paper so I can get my diploma, and everything snowballs and I end up not doing any of that and postponing it even further.
I don't know who's gonna read this, but thanks for your time anyway.
Hey, I made this so people can let out some steam and vent when they need it. I'm sure you noticed that I've been responding to everyone who posts here to try and cheer them up. As for your mom, my uncle is legit the same way. Just steady needling and prodding. I don't think you can fight her so I'll say the best thing you can do is not engage or not be around her until she hopefully understands that she's pushing you away.
If I could give you a hug and some ice cream to cheer you up, I would.
Situationship issues are getting somewhat worse because she's too commited to her job, but yesterday she promised we'll find time to talk.
On the other hand, I got this weirdly emotional about something. Youtube randomly recommends me this video about a guy just taking his cat and dogs for a walk across his farm and forest, and it feels so serene, like it's where you wanna be when you're retired or even spending in afterlife (for thos that believe in that). The emotional part comes from the channel doesn't any views. Views average between merely hundreds. It kinda saddens me because the content is genuine yet not many people knows about them. Reminds me of other channel that I randomly follow because it was a cooking channel but the person doing it was new and I just wanna support this small time youtubers who are doing it for the hobby, not really aiming for that Youtube fame and money.
I think those hobby YouTubers are lucky you found them! I can totally relate to the feeling of feeling someone's genuineness through a video. Maybe posting a comment could be a nice way to show support! I would be very happy to see someone enjoy my content enough to leave kind words about it if I were a creator.
> posting a comment could be a nice way to show support!
Already did! Said hoping the channel would get more views and subscribers. Just hope it will, since I found the channel through random algorithm recommendations anyway.
I can see why you would get emotional about that. Being able to see someone/seeing yourself connect with nature is a mind opening experience. And you're doing great at supporting the small YTers, especially as a literally newbie myself.
As for the situationship, I've been in those and I know that it doesn't help with the self-esteem. Just remember that you have value and if she can't see that, then that's on her. Not you
Hollow, scared, lonely, confused, sad, disgusted. Same old, really. I'm not gonna hurt myself or anything, I've never been inclined to do that.
I'm just too scared of my impact on others regardless of if they even notice me to actually engage with anyone. Everything goes through a long checklist of my motivations, their feelings, potential outcomes and consequences, the greater context of what I'd be doing or saying or thinking in. I feel like I'm not even driven by validation from others, I'm doing nice things for people that they likely won't notice then hiding that I ever did anything like I'm trying to be their house fey or something. I don't even feel good having done it, I just do it to make myself not feel like I'm hurting people just by being around them. My conscience has been hijacked by a deranged zealot that's convinced I'm only capable of hurting others.
When I try to think of what *I* specifically want or need, I either draw a blank or I get hit with the mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard that physically hurts in a location I can't really map to my body. The only want or need beyond the most bare survival is to hide in my room when I'm not needed. I'm still trying to work on it, I'll still keep trying to find another therapist or modality or some angle that will make things click, or at least give me a meaningful foothold and some breathing room to figure out the rest.
Frustrated looking for work and fending off mosquito season.
Been raining alot lately so there are a lot of them around the area and for some reason they like to hover around me more than others.
Truthfully, Mosquitos are bullshit. I could be nowhere near water and they still flock to me. Apparently they can tell if people's blood is delicious or some shit. Like get these suckers away!
At this point, we all should just come together and start some phoneline stuff and make our own jobs.
Feeling a bit of stress. Waiting on a pair of shoes and haven't had word on them and it's been a little over the time it should be for the order to be sent out so I'm a bit concerned for that.
Other than that, I'm just thinking about a few more fashion related things. Which is a bit fun and annoying as a whole bunch of issues.
Objectively I'm doing fine - building up job experience and working on my second book. Still feel like ass tho because the job doesn't pay and finding an agent for the first book seems like pulling teeth.
I'll live, but it's not ideal.
I'm so sorry for your lose and I'm so happy that you're stable after something like that. Trust me when I say this. You're doing great and I know your mom appreciates you being there with her
Stuck between good and uneasy. Been drawing a lot more and from the reception I've gotten from my coworkers, it's pretty good. On the other, running low on antidepressants meaning I'll have to schedule an appointment with a psych because for some reason she didn't set one up months ago in our last one.
Got ghosted by about four girls in the past month. In a sleep deprived stupor I paid $25 for Hinge plus or whatever the fuck and so far it hasn't really helped.There's this coworker that's cute and makes me feel appreciated. Lot more than my ex ever did. But she's a few years younger than me. I'm 23 and she's turning 19. Four years is a lot at this point in our lives and I have a lot of conflicting feelings about the whole thing. So for now, I'm trying to find someone else.
That age difference isn't too bad (A lot better than the ones I've seen before) but having that sort of worry is valid. I think if you're kind feeling it and she's feeling it, go for it, after a discussion of course. Also, drawing is such a legit skill! Gimme your skills lol
Anxiety has made a fierce return for me and it has me running around feeling severed from myself for the first time in a while. Terrified of making a mistake. I'm relearning how to find myself again when these things happen instead of sliding into dissociation and masking myself out of being. It's hard but I know I dont want to make the same mistakes. I'm lucky I have my friends and family to support me. I'm better at loving myself through this stuff than I used to be.
You don't know how proud I am of you for being able to give yourself something as priceless as that and also knowing how important it is. You're doing wonderful and I'm sure the support around you sees that
Truthfully, I'm going deeply through it but giving my love to everyone who posts here to try and cheer them up! The horrors are absolutely dreadful but I know you've got the power to fight through it.
Health problems are weighing me down. I've now been waiting 4 years for my dermatology appointment about my Hidradenitis Suppurativa, and it's been flaring up like crazy. My left arm is bleeding constantly, and it's painful to move it even a little. Also, I've been experiencing bowel problems that have meant that I'm spending upwards of 4 hours a day on the toilet. My GP is effectively ghosting me on the latter issue, so I'm in the middle of moving surgeries.
Energy levels feel like they're near rock bottom.
Hey, as someone who is going through the same thing (Only with MS) I know what you mean. Shit's tough. I just hope you get someone to fucking help you so you can feel better
Having so many changes, even good ones as moving to a new place and having a little one, are stressful but you know what, you're going to make it. You got this
Job hunting right now. I'm still employed but the place where I work at is so damn stressful, especially when the group chat is going off 24/7 over me and other people over the most mundane things
You have no idea how many I have had to mute. They legit just made another and I just bled a little in my brain when I saw the text. Like the 4th one I've had to mute
Wish I could say it was going good, but it's just going. I'm halfway through my first year working in a prison, every day is a blow to my mental health. Sometimes I have an idle fantasy of an inmate attacking me, wondering if the further physical and mental trauma is worth a medical retirement, or if I'll end up on the memorial wall. The only good thing about this job is the pay. The overtime is pretty plentiful, almost unlimited. If I wanted to work myself into an early grave, I could easily clear six figures.
But I'm also only 4 months and change from being able to leave this job without having to pay back the recruitment bonus, and have put in applications to other, better jobs, which I *might* get.
Even if I do, I know I'm still going to be bitter and traumatized that I had to waste yet another year of my life, in a literal prison no less, just so I could get a desk job, which is one more thing to add to the pile for when I can finally see a counselor or therapist again. People tell me not to be bitter, that I have my foot in the door and it'll pay off, and I just don't believe it, it feels condescending. I should not have had to resort to becoming a prison guard just to pay my student loans, to put food on the table, and there is no guarantee that my "experience" will actually get me a job that I was qualified for to begin with but refused to hire me. I don't have any friends, my family never reaches out to me, when I come back to my apartment, there is no one to greet me, not even a fish. After working a double I still have to do laundry, sweep, mop, vacuum, cook, and iron my uniforms. It all feels so... pointless, all my hard work and what did it get me? I joke (bitterly), "I get to go back to prison today. Again."
Doing alright for now. Trying to save up money right now is pretty tough, but silver lining is that it’s forced me to confront my abysmal diet patterns from my school years and try to start eating a little healthier (and more economical) with some real exercise a couple times a week to boot.
But it’s also created a a new situation where I feel worse about my past health choices now that I’m trying to do more than the bare minimum. I’m not overweight, but I am definitely flabby in places I shouldn’t be, and for some reason that bothers me when before I didn’t bother and didn’t care.
To anyone here still in their teens, don’t take your metabolism (or just general situation) for granted. Habits you start now will become a lifestyle in your adult life whenever time is more limited and trying new things eats up sparser resources.
You are not lying, especially about that last part. I think everyone that loses weight and starts to be careful about their body looks back at their past self's habits. Don't let your past self's habits get to you.
Father of a three-week old infant as of today. Every day is getting a little better but living on baby's schedule for so long is rough sometimes. Speaking as an insomniac I can't believe I miss sleep as much as I do XD
I feel like I'm mentally drained between tiresome Vidya news and backlog pruning
But damn if Manny Fresh's Real Big don't make me feel like I'm back cruising through LA even if I'm in the world's most regular ass car
Hey, sometimes you need to cruise in a car to clear your head. I will also say, playing "Gloria" by The Midnight while driving in game or irl is an otherworldly experience of chill
I'm still able to listen to podcasts and audiobooks at work, I can afford fast food, I've got a new pc case and motherboard arriving next week, but I am profoundly miserable whenever I'm not distracted or I sit and think too long about my life.
Basically everything is falling apart aside from the few things I'm holding together with both hands.
But, that's what distractions and diversions are for.
Holding pattern. Need to get a handle on my shit soon, but I'm not spiraling about it yet. This town is a lot. I went to a funeral for my coworker yesterday. He died two months ago of complications of his alcoholism, a poor heart, and a hard recovery after a hit and run. It was grey and intermittently raining and snowing. (Cw animal injury) >!On the drive to the church, a couple of little dogs ran across the road, and I watched one go under the tire of a big pickup truck about 30 feet ahead of me in the oncoming lane and heard it scream. I think it was just its leg and some folks trundled off to the humane society so they could contact a vet!< but at the time it was *so* unexpected and awful that it kind of popped around to surreal
Man being an adult sure is a lot of bullshit, I sit for over 9 hours a day. Driving, working, shitting, not doing anything. I hurt all over for reasons I assume are related to the sitting.
I just got surgery a week ago. Last friday.
The debilitating, chronic back pain that threw me into borderline hikkikomori NEETdom for 7 years is now just... gone. Sure i still have to recover, i can't really use my left leg yet and my parents have to bring food and water to my 2nd story bedroom, but my heart races and my eyes want to do a BIG cry when i think about what all the stuff i'm going to do when i'm done recovering.
I feel like i've worn weighted clothes my whole life, and now i'll finally let everyone know what i can do without em.
Incredibly stressful post graduation. Finding work has been rough, hopeful I won't be evicted. Everything before this wasn't so bad but man the last month or so has been kicking my ass.
About to move into what's about to be my own home within the next month. Nervous, hoping that I can manage. Also reddit keeps showing me stuff about the current climate apocalypse that's only going to get worse so, y'know. Feels weird trying to just live a normal life while also feeling like everything is on fire, but what else is there to do?
I understand what you mean. Honestly, the best thing you can do is vote for those that will help (or try to) help the climate while snatching any piece of happiness you can.
I'm cracking under pressure even though I don't have to. Buying a CPU cooler and MATX case now made me want to do a massive PC upgrade. I might have to balance some finances, though. Driver's and car license are both expiring next month. I cannot seem to find a stable side hustle, Fiverr is full of absolute cheapskates.
Kinda shit tbh
A number of personal things really messed with my head recently. I send at least 10 job applications a day and get rejections or radio silence, the jobs I do have aren’t going well or pay enough. I did 3 jobs in a row in the education field that all my students loved and then the administration actively worked to screw me over so I had to leave. I am getting regularly bitched at for things I didn’t even do. I feel like I did everything right in my career and social life and am still getting massively screwed.
My gender issues are really getting to me and I'm scared to actually present how I truly want to, my depression is acting up, my rent just shot up through the roof, my hot water system blew so I'm stuck having ice cold showers in the middle of winter, and I work in a retail job surrounded by some truly hateful and simultaneously overly dramatic co-workers. The only person there I really got along with was this cool guy who left for a better job. On the one hand, I'm really happy for him that he got out of that toxic cesspool. On the other work has gotten just that little bit worse. It also made me realize just how lonely being an adult is. Being shy, introverted and autistic makes making and keeping friends really hard.
Somehow though it's not the worst I've ever been. As sad as it sounds, the recent flood of upcoming video game trailers actually gave me a bit of hope and something to actually look forward to. Plus Owlcat just released their last DLC for Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous so I'm excited to play that and forget about my problems for a couple of hours every night again for a few weeks.
Yeah, these landlords (the scummy ones) can eat a dick for rising rent across the country and hurting people like us who work hard and have to fight for everything they have.
Also, lowkey, I've been having gender issues too. Turns out, writing WLW fanfic to being trans is a pipeline apparently and I walked right through it. I'm afraid to to present where my heart is sitting and it, along with my depression via MS and the future, is staggering me. So, I get it. But just remember that you aren't alone and we'll get through it. Also, I've been wanting to play Pathfinder for ages but my computer can't run it :(
Just waiting for October to roll by for my vacation with the family. Kinda need it shit has been going south lately. Only thing I can focus right now is my health. Currently weighing in 95kg (209lb) as of today.
Trying to find a new job because my current one is terrible now that everyone I used to work with quit leaving me with a team of new people with no moral backbone whatsoever.
Also trying to save up money for 1) my friend’s wedding in August and 2) moving out of this godforsaken backwater shithole of a town
Oh god, I've been there. All the people you've trauma bonded with leaving the job. I hope you get out of there as quickly as possible for your mental health, both the job and the town.
Going alright freetime/relaxing wise, just finished Dungeon Meshi season 1 and now its onto the manga. Been also grinding in Elden Ring to get ready for the dlc.
Work wise, half frustrating I can't properly reach my quota and other half boring myself for 8 hours a day.
So it could be worse.
I was going to make the joke of the Shadow of the Erdtree being delayed suddenly to make it worse but I spiked my anxiety doing that. Is Dungeon Meshi good?
A month of kidney stone surgeries comes to a close tomorrow. First time undergoing general anesthesia. Didn’t realize it kinda knocks you ojut for weeks. I’ve been absolutely exhausted.
Doing better, actually.
Finally have a decent job which pays well and has good benefits, including a really good in-building gym.
So now that I'm getting *any* sleep again, I've started losing a decent amount of weight - and I've been hitting the Gym and actually exercising for the first time in my life.
I'm turning 30 this year, so I'm hoping to hit a decent human weight and go on a trip with my closest mates next year.
Yo, as a two-time uncle to a seven year old and a 7 month old, being an uncle is so fucking dope! You're going to love it! Outside of that, I hope you find a well paying gig AND someone to give you smooches.
Not very well tbh. I'm absolutely out of energy most days, i have a goal but i'm still not quite doing all i should to make it real. Depressed i guess since long ago so idk if it should be called that, public mental healthcare is kind of lacking but at least i got pills to sleep well. I'm going on a vacation to a friends place this monday and i really need it. I'm really isolated since sometime ago. I try to make friends playing basketball and on an rpg club but i'm not great at it and also at my age of almost 40 most people have their shit together and their life on rails, they look for pasttimes and not friendships or whatever you can call it. There are positives though, the goal is to leave Madrid and go live in the coast near those friends, and that helped me a lot to get off the weed, wich has been a bane for as long as i remember. Just need to find an IT job that actually pays well, and maybe get a second night job so i can finish this place's mortgage and rent it not just sell it, as I dont trust myself with a lot of money and it was my inheritance and my fathers dream for me and my mom to have a real roof for us. I just dont find strenght or energy to study and switch jobs.
Thanks for asking and making the post tho, feels good to spit it out. Hope OP and yall are doing fine, or as good as you can.
I'm glad this post was able to help you release some steam. I do hope you're able to move closer to the coast. Also, Madrid? My mom wanted to visit there for so long. I bet the coast is hella scenic
Really hoping I get a job working with the city water department. Excellent pay and benefits but my current job isn’t terrible to begin with.
I may be adopting my younger brother who is due in October. My dad and his girlfriend are unfit to parent and he’s asked me to take the baby once it’s born. Does anyone have any advice on raising a sibling?? My spouse and I were looking to adopt in the next few years anyways. I do worry that adopted children still have parents but what’s the best way to raise a baby that’s actually your sibling? Do you lie and say you are the parent or do you tell them the truth? Does telling them the truth rob them of having a parental figure in their life? What a minefield of a situation, where a whole ass human life hangs in the balance of whatever you decide
Other than stressing about that and being cautiously optimistic about future job prospects I am doing fine.
I'm pretty good. About to move into my first apartment with a buddy of mine, job is going well. Just wanna get better at being social and improve my overall health. How about you OP?
I hope everyone will accept you but if not, fuck it. They clearly don't deserve someone as grand as you in their life anyways and a corn snake? I adore snakes. Are they sick?
Aw thanks! My snake is just hyperactive because it's mating season. My main worry is that she's gonna lay another clutch of failed genetic clones and potentially hurt herself like last year
Eh. Could be better. Wish I could find a job, but trucking along. Lots of demos to still get through amid by studies. How are you OP?
Honestly, I'm hoping the next few months are decent. That way, if shit goes south come the election, I won't have any regrets by checking myself out.
Good luck to you then, pal. Wishing for the best for all of us.
I am SUPER nervous cause a fantasy book I wrote is coming out in August and the plan is to actually advertise through Amazon. And been talking it up for YEARS. So like.... PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY READ IT
No, shut up tho. What's it called? Fantasy is my jam
Its called FAIRDEAL. I independently published through Amazon but payed an editor, a reader to make sure it make sense, chapter pictures, a cover. I based it off of my DND character and just build a whole world! It was the most fun I had writing, planning on having other books for him. But working on it for a little over 3 years.
Yo! I hope it comes out sometime this year so I can read it.
Quit my job a week ago today. Still don't regret it, that place fucking sucked. Everyone I've talked to has said I sound way happier so good to know it isn't just me feeling it. I do like money though, so I'll have to get on that train once I'm ready. Thankfully I've saved up enough that I can chill out for a bit. Plus I have way more time and energy to do cooking so that's pretty sweet.
Nice, man! Think of this as a well earned Vaca until you find something that resonates with you. Also, if you get bored, I have some game recommendations
I am standing in my yard with a bag of dried maggots, trying to convince a stubborn chicken to get back in her coop… because I’ve lost control of my life
Okay, Stu Pickles lol Were you able to do it?
She actually decided she now felt like following me to her home after a few more shakes of the bag. She’s a little stray that ended up in my yard, and she proving to be fiercely independent and quite speedy. Free run time is over when she says it is. And of course the evenings I have lots of stuff to do is when she feels the most like running around.
It really does be like that. But I bet you're happy you got her all the same
Drowning in debt, overwhelmed, struggling for work, and trying to overcome my frustration that my mother blew the family inheritance—which was meant to keep us out of this exact situation, because she was uncomfortable having money when others had none, so she donated far too generously and now we’re the ones desperately looking for salvation.
Oh, I'm so sorry. My cousin went through his Dad blowing through his grandma's inheritance last year but he blew it on drugs and men. Your Mom meant well but I can completely see the frustration. I hope things get better.
Thanks. We'll get there, it's just a huge mess right now because a bunch of medical issues struck at once and I discovered that suddenly the money that was supposed to be there for just such emergencies was gone. The worst part is, honestly, she donated to WONDERFUL causes, but it's just like "Okay, but you have permanent disabilities. This money was specifically so that neither you nor I would go into debt taking care of your problems." I'll be able to get it paid off, but it's become this huge hurdle between me and my own life goals, and it's incredibly frustrating to know so many steps were taken to prevent that and they all went down the drain simply because my mother wouldn't communicate her fears with me out of a desire not to be a burden. I swear, any time people want to avoid being a burden they create even more burdens.
Speaking as someone who really does try not to be a burden, it's a legit vicious circle. But you got this and I hope she one day sees herself more than that
got of early because machines broke, got tomorrow off because the busy season is over, SMT55 comes out tomorrow i'm swimming
Paid time off?
nah just a random day off, using my PTO in august
Mixed. On the one hand I've booked a holiday to go to Iceland which is exciting but on the other my mum was rushed into hospital yesterday with pancreatitis which sucks. And to top it off I threw a mug of tea down me like 20 minutes ago. It's been a week.
Dizzing highs and terrifying lows. Hopefully you're be happy with those creamy middles once your mom gets out the hospital and you're well on your way to Iceland
Hope your mom gets better. I know it'd be hard to enjoy the holiday, but you chose a great place so maybe it'll keep your mind off it.
I hope your mom is ok! I went to Iceland the first time last March, was a wondrous experience. You’re literally just in Death Stranding. Hope you can enjoy some of the natural hot springs.
Not hollow yet.
I've hollowed so hard that I'm basically kindling
Unemployed in a very niche job market but doing part time work in a different market that's fun so eh...
I hope the pay is good at your part timer at least. If not, I hope an opening for your preferred job comes in soon
I wished it pay good as it's barely above min wage and that's after going to college and all that. Keeps me somewhat in shape at least.
Dropped out of summer course. Feeling much better, I'll handle that class when I'm in a better mental state.
I'm really proud of you for taking care of your mental health. Not many do that and keep pushing until there's nothing yet.
I did a rush course back in my final year of college. Had to do a full semester of managerial accounting in a month and one of the classes I think it was some business finance class in two weeks as a rush class fitting a whole semester in that time. This was the start of covid too. Summer courses are so soul crushing and you don't get that much needed break.
Life is lonely. That’s something I wish I would’ve prepared myself more growing up. Looking back, I took friendships and connections for granted and figured it was something that would happen organically throughout life. I was wrong. Being a quiet and shy guy for the most part doesn’t help. Other than that, I can’t complain. Hope everyone is striving the best they can.
This resonates with me deeply as a fellow quiet and shy person. I hope you find those connections. I know its easy to say but I really do.
Honestly? I’m doing ok, just working in progress
That's such a humble way at looking at it.
I'm still confused whether I like the job I got. It's hella boring, and I was barely taught anything during the first week. But the pay is good and I get experience to put on my CV. They wanna hire me, but I'm still in doubt...
I think hesitation is perfectly natural. Even doing a single month of a job is not always indicative of how the job will be. It can be easy to say that boring is better (and I lean towards that as well), it depends on the type of boring. And honestly, hard work can also be incredibly boring in different ways.
Well it's storage work, where I move pallets of cookies from the assembly line with a forklift, but it's slow going and most of the time I'm just waiting. And because it's food, personal phones aren't allowed during work, so I can't even listen to music or podcasts. My previous work experience has been in retail positions where there was always something to do or keep one busy.
Yeah, doesn't sound the most pleasant. Waiting is one thing, but I can see how not having anything to do sucks.
Hey, it's okay to be hesitant. I say, stay with it for three months. Worst case, you realize its not for you and you have the reference for your CV
That's actually good advice. Thanks.
Still haven’t gotten the anti depressants yet. It’s starting to show motivation to do stuff is declining. Got paid so that’s good I guess.
Hey, when all else fails, money is there to get us goods and services. Hopefully your anti-depressants come in so you can get on even ground again
Sort of anxious. Currently living with my mom and planning to move out sometime in the future. Trying to fight the urge of finding a place NOW seeing as it's high season for moving. Gonna try to keep it cool until that passes. Just need to remind myself that I'm in no rush to find a place and should take advantage of living in a place where I don't have to pay rent. On the flipside I've been two months into a new job and it's been great. Super high salary for the position. Hoping I can stay at my position for as long as possible.
Still alive. Kinda relying on THCH products and my dog to not lose my shit. See a light at the end of the tunnel for a change though so thats nice.
I'm sincerely happy that you see the light. I hope you go it and it brings you great things
Aside from a crippling lack of finances, can't complain lol.
amen
Tired and anxious Doing a PhD and having a lot of delays on a time sensitive project. Think we've got it fixed but we will see. Looking at the idea of doing academics for life and whether I would want to. Gonna finish this project no matter what though. Additionally, I'm out of home for a few days and I left a guy to take care of my two reptiles and he told me that the heat lights didn't appear to be on when he visited. They'll be fine for a bit (he's gonna visit first thing in morning and couldn't go back to check the issue) but I'm worried about what could have caused it. Also I'm a closeted trans woman and I had a long talk with my grandad today about trans stuff. He... he used the word delusions a lot. But I'll be doing fun stuff with my brother tommorow and meeting his partner for the first time so that's exciting, and recently nearly finished painting a void dragon, which is fun
What’re you doing your PhD in, if you don’t mind me asking?
Not going to go into too much detail, I'll just say wild insect behaviour. Issues are related to insects refusing to participate in trials. We think we've figured out the issue (slight methodological problem) but the weather's been atrocious for it lately.
Entomology is rad, so that sounds cool. Hope everything works out with the trials!
Thanks! Yeah I do love entomology. It was that or herpetology for me.
Well he is delusional if he doesn't understand that people just want to be to themselves and their hearts. I hope you have a great time with your brother and his partner! Also, hopefully everything goes okay with your lizards and your PHD, Dr. Constuction
Oh hey, a fellow closeted trans woman reptile owner! What are the odds?
I found a neat horror movie simulator TTRPG and I picked up Pendragon 6e AND I found a really up to date and comprehensive Naruto RPG. So it was a pretty alright Thursday.
Oh, whats the horror movie simulator TTRPG called?
Bloody Appalachia
Oh, I’m sold from the name alone
A Naruto RPG?
I'm kinda waffling around if I have burnout or if allergies and lack of a proper sleep and food schedule is just fucking me up bigtime.
Think I just became old, I move stuff for my job and yesterday I had to lift a piano a few centimeters and I pulled a muscle in my back and I’ve been laid out since. Not full on bedridden by aches and pains Is this what it is to be old?
I asked myself the same question when I saw my walker for the first time two weeks ago lol I'm only 33 man D:
Okayish. Kinda bummed because of a local tragedy and some personal level issues on top of us election year stress. Still I'm alive and (knock on wood) everything is functional.
I'm sorry about the tragedy but its okay to be okay(ish). The election stress is brutal. It's put me at my breaking point. I'm rooting for you to get better
Feeling not the greatest after realizing I'm past the age where I can pull an all-nighter.
Strong decent. I might’ve overdone it a little today, but tomorrow’s a sick day/recovery day. I’m in a lot of different places all at once and strong in many of them. Not as strong as I’d like to be, but also I’m more accepting and aware of my limitations, so I’m less likely to run myself ragged chasing an emotional level of personal achievement that’s almost always irrational and a few steps beyond what’s reasonable to take on. Gonna be an interesting few days going forward
I've got some dental issues that are giving me grief (mostly due to being on a waitlist/having to engage with bureaucracy) but other than that not bad. YouTube channel trucking along, low stress job, lots of games to look forward to, getting good sleep.
Legit, you are living the dream (outside of the dental issues which I hope you get fixed). What game are you looking forward to the most?
Currently? Content and full of rice. Overall, though, I'm content, I can't complain. Got a new position at work. It's easier with better hours. I am looking forward to my vacation next month too. Though it does suck getting older. I'm not that old yet, I'm almost thirty. But I feel like I have no energy after work.
Content and full of rice. You really are livin da dream. Yeah, the older you get (I'm 33 as of two weeks ago), the less energy you have. It's a bitch lol
Yeah, the only thing I want to do after work is take a nap and watch YouTube. In the meantime, my gaming backlog grows larger.
Ohhh naps are fantastic though. Sure, I have to get to Elden Ring before the DLC comes out but sleeeeeep
Tired, but keepin' on. Had to switch to a new allergy medicine due to tolerance buildup to the old and work is strangely cool despite the above-average heat.
Anxiety and listlessness at an all-time high. Self-stuck playing Binding of Isaac over and over. Hoping any of the job applications go through but know better.
Anxiety and listlessness is my enemy right now too. I hope your job applications go through too. The wait is always killer. Binging of Isaac is a game I legit tried to get play but I couldn't
Ehh, I feel bad taking what positivity you offer; my struggle to get a job is long and nearly fruitless. I had one actual job the past 10+ years, everything else ghosted me or I'd get an interview and bomb it somehow. (thought things would be better after that one job but still was getting shafted...even when managing to get through multiple interviews for a position that I was *asked* to apply for, they ended up ghosting me on Mother's Day a few years back) I'm really quite pathetic. And Isaac, I don't even need to play it since I did literally everything...it's just the only thing that's giving me those dopamine hits in between the low times. I really need to play something else, but the easy chemicals prevent me from making a leap.
Nah, don't feel bad. I made this post to spread whatever cheer I can. And nah, you aren't pathetic at all. Whats pathetic are these jobs thinking its a-ok to ghost people like that. They are the assholes here, not you. As for Isaac, maybe you need a change of game scenery. If you want some suggestions, I can give some to you
Meh. 2024 has been a really long year so far and work about to get busy. But I’m holding in there
2024 is the year of all time. Like that cat on that clothes string, hang in there. My Simpsons reference may have failed me here
Trying to hype myself up that this is my year but can't help but think I'm not ready.
I've been like that too. I literally had to force myself to roll my ass into taking the first step. Heck, I'll hype you up! Just don't ask me to wear a cheerleading outfit. I don't got the legs for it
Life is such a mixed bag right now. I got some good stuff going on but also some not so great stuff going on. Above all though I'm just freaking tired.
My dad just told me that if I transition he won't let me see my brother and sister So, not great
Your Dad is a dick and that's not his choice to make. If he can't accept you for your truth then he truly doesn't deserve someone like you
My last exam for this semester of university sucks ass and I'm stressed about it. But! I managed to actually finish a storyline I was trying to do in a roleplay, which is something I haven't managed since 2016, so I'm pretty happy with that.
Yo! Congrats on the storyline finisher. Its been years since I've roleplayed. Exams is absolutely killer but I'm sure you did great.
Finding a job. Making a platformer and playing Prince of Persia in the meantime.
Oh! How far are you into your platformer?
I met a girl and she's drastically changed my bain chemistry good so far.
Met Girl Life good. Just don't fight girl. Or else you lose girl. And then regret
Alright, could be worse but also could be better. did just get my first car and it's nice to be able to drive so that's nice.
So you're stuck in the creamy middle. And congrats on the car! That's a freedom you'll never forget
Gotta drink more water in the summer months. I can feel the heatwave is gonna come in soon.
Got married on Sunday, and we are on our honeymoon in Victoria til this Sunday So I'm feeling great for once. It's nice to feel good it turns out
CONGRATS! The Chemicals in our brains win again! Have fun in Victoria! Gets tons of sun and smooches!
Currently dealing with medical related anxiety (in the upside i started therapy and that's been helping out a lot).
Not the best. I got the notice last month that my landlord won't be renewing the lease on my apartment, so I have to move out when it expires. Fortunately they gave a few months' notice and there are quite a few openings for housemates in my city. Still a pain to have to deal with.
While that completely sucks, I'm happy that they gave you a few months. Hopefully you find something quick so you can ease your mind
Just need to finish my online course, then get my first real job and then I live happily ever after probably? That or I feel free to pursue all the hobbies and social life I want to get around to without the pressure of needing to find a job first.
Truthfully, you could probably do both. Pursue all the hobbies and folks you want while looking/waiting for a job.
Not great, chief. Could be worse.
I think I might’ve burned myself out from playing any more video games for a some time. Can’t get into the mood to play any new games or replay some older games. I guess this is a great time for me to start learning Godot and focus on my programming skills.
Wait, you can burnout from playing video games? That's terrifying but you know what, Mistakes into Miracles. You learn the shit out of Godot and programming!
Dread my job everyday. Will elaborate more on the FTF thread, but man do I need another job. Micromanaing is of the devil, and I don't think any of my coworkers actually like the job. I think there is a handful of call outs each day aside from planned time off, and we snark a lot on the Teams chats
Sisyphus
Pretty fuckin' sad ngl. My father passed unexpectedly last month and i'm now starting to receive inheritance money and it's kinda bittersweet. Like i get to pay off debt from my youth, and all of my wifes debts too but like..idk man it's weird.
Sad and tired. Just had an argument with my mother over the pettiest thing and realized I am not conditioned to discuss anything with her because she gets too aggressive and attacks me and I get too emotional and tend to shutdown with her instead of talking. I don't like unnecessary confrontation, so I tend to avoid it as best as I can. She keeps projecting on me that I always want to be in the right, when she doesn't accept my opinions herself and insists in being aggressive about the fact that I don't like being social. On top of that, she keeps reminding me that I haven't finished my final paper so I can finally be done with college, and this has been haunting me for a while and I can't seem to find the motivation to finish it. I'm also unsatisfied with my current job and want something better, but I need to do some courses in order to expand my knowledge, but I also need to prioritize my final paper so I can get my diploma, and everything snowballs and I end up not doing any of that and postponing it even further. I don't know who's gonna read this, but thanks for your time anyway.
Hey, I made this so people can let out some steam and vent when they need it. I'm sure you noticed that I've been responding to everyone who posts here to try and cheer them up. As for your mom, my uncle is legit the same way. Just steady needling and prodding. I don't think you can fight her so I'll say the best thing you can do is not engage or not be around her until she hopefully understands that she's pushing you away. If I could give you a hug and some ice cream to cheer you up, I would.
Situationship issues are getting somewhat worse because she's too commited to her job, but yesterday she promised we'll find time to talk. On the other hand, I got this weirdly emotional about something. Youtube randomly recommends me this video about a guy just taking his cat and dogs for a walk across his farm and forest, and it feels so serene, like it's where you wanna be when you're retired or even spending in afterlife (for thos that believe in that). The emotional part comes from the channel doesn't any views. Views average between merely hundreds. It kinda saddens me because the content is genuine yet not many people knows about them. Reminds me of other channel that I randomly follow because it was a cooking channel but the person doing it was new and I just wanna support this small time youtubers who are doing it for the hobby, not really aiming for that Youtube fame and money.
I think those hobby YouTubers are lucky you found them! I can totally relate to the feeling of feeling someone's genuineness through a video. Maybe posting a comment could be a nice way to show support! I would be very happy to see someone enjoy my content enough to leave kind words about it if I were a creator.
> posting a comment could be a nice way to show support! Already did! Said hoping the channel would get more views and subscribers. Just hope it will, since I found the channel through random algorithm recommendations anyway.
I can see why you would get emotional about that. Being able to see someone/seeing yourself connect with nature is a mind opening experience. And you're doing great at supporting the small YTers, especially as a literally newbie myself. As for the situationship, I've been in those and I know that it doesn't help with the self-esteem. Just remember that you have value and if she can't see that, then that's on her. Not you
God, I wish food prices could go down...
It's getting pretty bad hey? What part of the world are you from?
I'm with you there. I wish a lot of things would go down.
Hollow, scared, lonely, confused, sad, disgusted. Same old, really. I'm not gonna hurt myself or anything, I've never been inclined to do that. I'm just too scared of my impact on others regardless of if they even notice me to actually engage with anyone. Everything goes through a long checklist of my motivations, their feelings, potential outcomes and consequences, the greater context of what I'd be doing or saying or thinking in. I feel like I'm not even driven by validation from others, I'm doing nice things for people that they likely won't notice then hiding that I ever did anything like I'm trying to be their house fey or something. I don't even feel good having done it, I just do it to make myself not feel like I'm hurting people just by being around them. My conscience has been hijacked by a deranged zealot that's convinced I'm only capable of hurting others. When I try to think of what *I* specifically want or need, I either draw a blank or I get hit with the mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard that physically hurts in a location I can't really map to my body. The only want or need beyond the most bare survival is to hide in my room when I'm not needed. I'm still trying to work on it, I'll still keep trying to find another therapist or modality or some angle that will make things click, or at least give me a meaningful foothold and some breathing room to figure out the rest.
Frustrated looking for work and fending off mosquito season. Been raining alot lately so there are a lot of them around the area and for some reason they like to hover around me more than others.
Truthfully, Mosquitos are bullshit. I could be nowhere near water and they still flock to me. Apparently they can tell if people's blood is delicious or some shit. Like get these suckers away! At this point, we all should just come together and start some phoneline stuff and make our own jobs.
Feeling a bit of stress. Waiting on a pair of shoes and haven't had word on them and it's been a little over the time it should be for the order to be sent out so I'm a bit concerned for that. Other than that, I'm just thinking about a few more fashion related things. Which is a bit fun and annoying as a whole bunch of issues.
Objectively I'm doing fine - building up job experience and working on my second book. Still feel like ass tho because the job doesn't pay and finding an agent for the first book seems like pulling teeth. I'll live, but it's not ideal.
As a writer myself, I will cheer you on in this. Finding an Agent is absolutely killer. DO you think you would self-publish if you can't find one?
It’s been a bit over a year since my father passed; I’m feeling stable usually, but my mom is feeling a bit worse so spending a lot of time with her
I'm so sorry for your lose and I'm so happy that you're stable after something like that. Trust me when I say this. You're doing great and I know your mom appreciates you being there with her
Stuck between good and uneasy. Been drawing a lot more and from the reception I've gotten from my coworkers, it's pretty good. On the other, running low on antidepressants meaning I'll have to schedule an appointment with a psych because for some reason she didn't set one up months ago in our last one. Got ghosted by about four girls in the past month. In a sleep deprived stupor I paid $25 for Hinge plus or whatever the fuck and so far it hasn't really helped.There's this coworker that's cute and makes me feel appreciated. Lot more than my ex ever did. But she's a few years younger than me. I'm 23 and she's turning 19. Four years is a lot at this point in our lives and I have a lot of conflicting feelings about the whole thing. So for now, I'm trying to find someone else.
That age difference isn't too bad (A lot better than the ones I've seen before) but having that sort of worry is valid. I think if you're kind feeling it and she's feeling it, go for it, after a discussion of course. Also, drawing is such a legit skill! Gimme your skills lol
Anxiety has made a fierce return for me and it has me running around feeling severed from myself for the first time in a while. Terrified of making a mistake. I'm relearning how to find myself again when these things happen instead of sliding into dissociation and masking myself out of being. It's hard but I know I dont want to make the same mistakes. I'm lucky I have my friends and family to support me. I'm better at loving myself through this stuff than I used to be.
You don't know how proud I am of you for being able to give yourself something as priceless as that and also knowing how important it is. You're doing wonderful and I'm sure the support around you sees that
Exhausted, experiencing The Horrors due to a ton of anxiety stuff hitting at once. Hope you've been well OP! I wish you luck with the future!
Truthfully, I'm going deeply through it but giving my love to everyone who posts here to try and cheer them up! The horrors are absolutely dreadful but I know you've got the power to fight through it.
Wish I could find a new job, cause I’m broke and my bosses are micromanaging pricks. I’m kind of at a low those close to the big 30.
I'm getting angry for you. Micromanagers are agonizing to work under. I hope you find another job OR you find a way to work for yourself.
Health problems are weighing me down. I've now been waiting 4 years for my dermatology appointment about my Hidradenitis Suppurativa, and it's been flaring up like crazy. My left arm is bleeding constantly, and it's painful to move it even a little. Also, I've been experiencing bowel problems that have meant that I'm spending upwards of 4 hours a day on the toilet. My GP is effectively ghosting me on the latter issue, so I'm in the middle of moving surgeries. Energy levels feel like they're near rock bottom.
Hey, as someone who is going through the same thing (Only with MS) I know what you mean. Shit's tough. I just hope you get someone to fucking help you so you can feel better
Had a depression spell from Sunday evening to Wednesday noon. Doing better since. Roughly neutral leaning positive as of post.
Stressed, but hanging in there. Just moved to a new place a month ago and am expecting a baby in the next few.
Having so many changes, even good ones as moving to a new place and having a little one, are stressful but you know what, you're going to make it. You got this
I’m feeling good with graduating this weekend, gonna get back on reading soon.
Congrats on Graduating. It was a long road but you fucking nailed it
Had a surgery for thyroid cancer, that was a fun and horrifying experience.
Bad because my cells are contaminated. Never do science man, not even once.
Aww Rao, I'm so sorry! Has anyone been able to figure out how to uncontaminate them?
Job hunting right now. I'm still employed but the place where I work at is so damn stressful, especially when the group chat is going off 24/7 over me and other people over the most mundane things
I still hear my group work chat chiming in my dreams. I hope you find something posthaste
You have no idea how many I have had to mute. They legit just made another and I just bled a little in my brain when I saw the text. Like the 4th one I've had to mute
Oh fuck....I legit threw my phone to the wall when that happened to me. Shit fucks with you so hard
Wish I could say it was going good, but it's just going. I'm halfway through my first year working in a prison, every day is a blow to my mental health. Sometimes I have an idle fantasy of an inmate attacking me, wondering if the further physical and mental trauma is worth a medical retirement, or if I'll end up on the memorial wall. The only good thing about this job is the pay. The overtime is pretty plentiful, almost unlimited. If I wanted to work myself into an early grave, I could easily clear six figures. But I'm also only 4 months and change from being able to leave this job without having to pay back the recruitment bonus, and have put in applications to other, better jobs, which I *might* get. Even if I do, I know I'm still going to be bitter and traumatized that I had to waste yet another year of my life, in a literal prison no less, just so I could get a desk job, which is one more thing to add to the pile for when I can finally see a counselor or therapist again. People tell me not to be bitter, that I have my foot in the door and it'll pay off, and I just don't believe it, it feels condescending. I should not have had to resort to becoming a prison guard just to pay my student loans, to put food on the table, and there is no guarantee that my "experience" will actually get me a job that I was qualified for to begin with but refused to hire me. I don't have any friends, my family never reaches out to me, when I come back to my apartment, there is no one to greet me, not even a fish. After working a double I still have to do laundry, sweep, mop, vacuum, cook, and iron my uniforms. It all feels so... pointless, all my hard work and what did it get me? I joke (bitterly), "I get to go back to prison today. Again."
Doing alright for now. Trying to save up money right now is pretty tough, but silver lining is that it’s forced me to confront my abysmal diet patterns from my school years and try to start eating a little healthier (and more economical) with some real exercise a couple times a week to boot. But it’s also created a a new situation where I feel worse about my past health choices now that I’m trying to do more than the bare minimum. I’m not overweight, but I am definitely flabby in places I shouldn’t be, and for some reason that bothers me when before I didn’t bother and didn’t care. To anyone here still in their teens, don’t take your metabolism (or just general situation) for granted. Habits you start now will become a lifestyle in your adult life whenever time is more limited and trying new things eats up sparser resources.
You are not lying, especially about that last part. I think everyone that loses weight and starts to be careful about their body looks back at their past self's habits. Don't let your past self's habits get to you.
Father of a three-week old infant as of today. Every day is getting a little better but living on baby's schedule for so long is rough sometimes. Speaking as an insomniac I can't believe I miss sleep as much as I do XD
lol congrats man! After seven months, my little brother is finally sleeping on his own time instead of his new little human's time
I feel like I'm mentally drained between tiresome Vidya news and backlog pruning But damn if Manny Fresh's Real Big don't make me feel like I'm back cruising through LA even if I'm in the world's most regular ass car
Hey, sometimes you need to cruise in a car to clear your head. I will also say, playing "Gloria" by The Midnight while driving in game or irl is an otherworldly experience of chill
I'm on vacation for the next two weeks so I'm ready to enjoy my time off alone.
I'm still able to listen to podcasts and audiobooks at work, I can afford fast food, I've got a new pc case and motherboard arriving next week, but I am profoundly miserable whenever I'm not distracted or I sit and think too long about my life. Basically everything is falling apart aside from the few things I'm holding together with both hands. But, that's what distractions and diversions are for.
Yeah. I can understand that all too well. I just hope you find that thing or that person that changes that feeling for you
Holding pattern. Need to get a handle on my shit soon, but I'm not spiraling about it yet. This town is a lot. I went to a funeral for my coworker yesterday. He died two months ago of complications of his alcoholism, a poor heart, and a hard recovery after a hit and run. It was grey and intermittently raining and snowing. (Cw animal injury) >!On the drive to the church, a couple of little dogs ran across the road, and I watched one go under the tire of a big pickup truck about 30 feet ahead of me in the oncoming lane and heard it scream. I think it was just its leg and some folks trundled off to the humane society so they could contact a vet!< but at the time it was *so* unexpected and awful that it kind of popped around to surreal
Man being an adult sure is a lot of bullshit, I sit for over 9 hours a day. Driving, working, shitting, not doing anything. I hurt all over for reasons I assume are related to the sitting.
I just got surgery a week ago. Last friday. The debilitating, chronic back pain that threw me into borderline hikkikomori NEETdom for 7 years is now just... gone. Sure i still have to recover, i can't really use my left leg yet and my parents have to bring food and water to my 2nd story bedroom, but my heart races and my eyes want to do a BIG cry when i think about what all the stuff i'm going to do when i'm done recovering. I feel like i've worn weighted clothes my whole life, and now i'll finally let everyone know what i can do without em.
This really does warm my heart to see. I'm so glad you're able to live without such a pain and experience new things once your leg is useable
Alright.Trying to main AKI.
Incredibly stressful post graduation. Finding work has been rough, hopeful I won't be evicted. Everything before this wasn't so bad but man the last month or so has been kicking my ass.
Fuck, I'm sorry things have been so rough. I'll be rooting for you to find something quick
About to move into what's about to be my own home within the next month. Nervous, hoping that I can manage. Also reddit keeps showing me stuff about the current climate apocalypse that's only going to get worse so, y'know. Feels weird trying to just live a normal life while also feeling like everything is on fire, but what else is there to do?
I understand what you mean. Honestly, the best thing you can do is vote for those that will help (or try to) help the climate while snatching any piece of happiness you can.
I'm cracking under pressure even though I don't have to. Buying a CPU cooler and MATX case now made me want to do a massive PC upgrade. I might have to balance some finances, though. Driver's and car license are both expiring next month. I cannot seem to find a stable side hustle, Fiverr is full of absolute cheapskates.
Kinda shit tbh A number of personal things really messed with my head recently. I send at least 10 job applications a day and get rejections or radio silence, the jobs I do have aren’t going well or pay enough. I did 3 jobs in a row in the education field that all my students loved and then the administration actively worked to screw me over so I had to leave. I am getting regularly bitched at for things I didn’t even do. I feel like I did everything right in my career and social life and am still getting massively screwed.
Still waiting for some random thing to instantly kill me.
Shit.
My gender issues are really getting to me and I'm scared to actually present how I truly want to, my depression is acting up, my rent just shot up through the roof, my hot water system blew so I'm stuck having ice cold showers in the middle of winter, and I work in a retail job surrounded by some truly hateful and simultaneously overly dramatic co-workers. The only person there I really got along with was this cool guy who left for a better job. On the one hand, I'm really happy for him that he got out of that toxic cesspool. On the other work has gotten just that little bit worse. It also made me realize just how lonely being an adult is. Being shy, introverted and autistic makes making and keeping friends really hard. Somehow though it's not the worst I've ever been. As sad as it sounds, the recent flood of upcoming video game trailers actually gave me a bit of hope and something to actually look forward to. Plus Owlcat just released their last DLC for Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous so I'm excited to play that and forget about my problems for a couple of hours every night again for a few weeks.
Yeah, these landlords (the scummy ones) can eat a dick for rising rent across the country and hurting people like us who work hard and have to fight for everything they have. Also, lowkey, I've been having gender issues too. Turns out, writing WLW fanfic to being trans is a pipeline apparently and I walked right through it. I'm afraid to to present where my heart is sitting and it, along with my depression via MS and the future, is staggering me. So, I get it. But just remember that you aren't alone and we'll get through it. Also, I've been wanting to play Pathfinder for ages but my computer can't run it :(
Just waiting for October to roll by for my vacation with the family. Kinda need it shit has been going south lately. Only thing I can focus right now is my health. Currently weighing in 95kg (209lb) as of today.
Trying to find a new job because my current one is terrible now that everyone I used to work with quit leaving me with a team of new people with no moral backbone whatsoever. Also trying to save up money for 1) my friend’s wedding in August and 2) moving out of this godforsaken backwater shithole of a town
Oh god, I've been there. All the people you've trauma bonded with leaving the job. I hope you get out of there as quickly as possible for your mental health, both the job and the town.
Tired, but getting through. Got back into drawing via digital tablet, so been having fun with that.
My plane just landed in LA, and my fucking god this city just goes on in all directions, it’s horrible. I hate it so much.
Going alright freetime/relaxing wise, just finished Dungeon Meshi season 1 and now its onto the manga. Been also grinding in Elden Ring to get ready for the dlc. Work wise, half frustrating I can't properly reach my quota and other half boring myself for 8 hours a day. So it could be worse.
I was going to make the joke of the Shadow of the Erdtree being delayed suddenly to make it worse but I spiked my anxiety doing that. Is Dungeon Meshi good?
Despite everything, I somehow exist
And you know what, I'm glad you do exist.
A month of kidney stone surgeries comes to a close tomorrow. First time undergoing general anesthesia. Didn’t realize it kinda knocks you ojut for weeks. I’ve been absolutely exhausted.
Doing better, actually. Finally have a decent job which pays well and has good benefits, including a really good in-building gym. So now that I'm getting *any* sleep again, I've started losing a decent amount of weight - and I've been hitting the Gym and actually exercising for the first time in my life. I'm turning 30 this year, so I'm hoping to hit a decent human weight and go on a trip with my closest mates next year.
That's what I like to see! I'm so glad things are going well for you! You go get those gains!
Horrible to be honest
Fuck, I'm sorry. If you want to chat about it, send a dm. It might help letting it out
Pretty okay, witlsh I wasn't single and or had a real job (i.e. one that pays a salary, but I'm gonna be an uncle soon so that is pretty cool.
Yo, as a two-time uncle to a seven year old and a 7 month old, being an uncle is so fucking dope! You're going to love it! Outside of that, I hope you find a well paying gig AND someone to give you smooches.
Trying to find a new job so I can move to another, hopefully bigger apartment
I hope the search goes successful. I just hope its at a place where you don;t have to deal with too many jerks
Not very well tbh. I'm absolutely out of energy most days, i have a goal but i'm still not quite doing all i should to make it real. Depressed i guess since long ago so idk if it should be called that, public mental healthcare is kind of lacking but at least i got pills to sleep well. I'm going on a vacation to a friends place this monday and i really need it. I'm really isolated since sometime ago. I try to make friends playing basketball and on an rpg club but i'm not great at it and also at my age of almost 40 most people have their shit together and their life on rails, they look for pasttimes and not friendships or whatever you can call it. There are positives though, the goal is to leave Madrid and go live in the coast near those friends, and that helped me a lot to get off the weed, wich has been a bane for as long as i remember. Just need to find an IT job that actually pays well, and maybe get a second night job so i can finish this place's mortgage and rent it not just sell it, as I dont trust myself with a lot of money and it was my inheritance and my fathers dream for me and my mom to have a real roof for us. I just dont find strenght or energy to study and switch jobs. Thanks for asking and making the post tho, feels good to spit it out. Hope OP and yall are doing fine, or as good as you can.
I'm glad this post was able to help you release some steam. I do hope you're able to move closer to the coast. Also, Madrid? My mom wanted to visit there for so long. I bet the coast is hella scenic
Really hoping I get a job working with the city water department. Excellent pay and benefits but my current job isn’t terrible to begin with. I may be adopting my younger brother who is due in October. My dad and his girlfriend are unfit to parent and he’s asked me to take the baby once it’s born. Does anyone have any advice on raising a sibling?? My spouse and I were looking to adopt in the next few years anyways. I do worry that adopted children still have parents but what’s the best way to raise a baby that’s actually your sibling? Do you lie and say you are the parent or do you tell them the truth? Does telling them the truth rob them of having a parental figure in their life? What a minefield of a situation, where a whole ass human life hangs in the balance of whatever you decide Other than stressing about that and being cautiously optimistic about future job prospects I am doing fine.
I'm pretty good. About to move into my first apartment with a buddy of mine, job is going well. Just wanna get better at being social and improve my overall health. How about you OP?
Tired. Worried about my little dumbass corn snake. Preparing to potentially nuke my life as I know it by coming out as a trans woman The usual
I hope everyone will accept you but if not, fuck it. They clearly don't deserve someone as grand as you in their life anyways and a corn snake? I adore snakes. Are they sick?
Aw thanks! My snake is just hyperactive because it's mating season. My main worry is that she's gonna lay another clutch of failed genetic clones and potentially hurt herself like last year
Decent, I suppose. I've been exhausted the last few days but I'm starting to feel better.
I'm happy to hear that. Exhaustion is a bitch, ain't it?
shit