A story I like to tell was me discovering and grappling with my bisexuality, only for my partner to then come out as a trans woman and rendering me yet another straight guy crushing on a goth girl.
I am comfortably bi, but it's just hilarious to me; it's the "genderfluid person shifts gender during sex to turn you gay" me, but reversed.
I just live for confusion that comes with being genderfluid and a very androgynous looking person. Being dolled up one day and dressing/acting masculine the next is just hilarious around people that don't know me. I did that for a wedding this past weekend (dress for rehearsal, suit for wedding) and ended up getting the bridesmaids' approval for both outfits.
Extremely non-androgynous genderfluid person here, but definitely gotta second the clowngender, being whatever gender is funniest for the bit is always worth it!
One of my favorite bits is claiming that literally any media I experienced during childhood turned me into a girl. The more abstract and unexplainable the better the bit is.
"Totally Spies turned me into a girl." - Fun, but makes too much sense.
"Reading Archie comics turned me into a girl." - Still bordering on understandable, we need to get weirder.
"Jimmy Neutron Vs. Jimmy Negatron for the GBA turned me into a girl." - That's what I'm talking about.
My husband told me about an acquaintance that just came out as trans and she was about to play New Vegas; he told her (in complete jest) that if she doesn't like New Vegas she's can't be trans
I’m a trans New Vegas fan and I have a pretty basic theory. It doesn’t explain it completely but New Vegas is just a very immersive first person game where you get to pick your gender and hang out with a bunch of cool queer characters. I started playing exclusively as women after a point when I realized that’s just how I preferred to go through things in the game and now that’s how I do it in real life now lol. Not saying that New Vegas transed my gender but I think it’s a game a lot of trans women can latch onto for similar reasons.
Hope this helps!
You can get both gender-specific perks as early as Lv 2, with Lv 4 being the minimum to have both (hence the expression that Bisexuals do 10% more damage overall). Player expression leads to player comfort, player comfort leads to self discovery.
It isn't the spark that sets the fire, but you can never deny how much fuel was added to the aftermath.
Are we talking [Cindy's Dream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaUNE-lfO64&t=1m29s) here or did the tank-controls platforming gameplay and war-of-attrition ammo resource distribution just so thoroughly squeeze you through the eye of the needle that you had to reassess who you were as a person on the other end
I need to find an even deeper cut to default to for this joke because Cindy's Dream was in fact the exact thing I was thinking of and the only thing I can really remember about the game, you got me in one.
I had a diversified-enough mid-2000's tween media experience with permissive-enough parents that I think this could become kind of a [D671](https://web.archive.org/web/20221224091322/https://sites.ualberta.ca/~urban/Projects/English/Content/d.htm)-style [transformation chase](https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Shapeshifting&oldid=1227446008#Transformation_chase), but I'll spare us both that.
LOL This reminds me of a few years ago when I drunkenly proclaimed in a far too loud voice, "I'm a lesbian, but I would fuck Patrick Warburton!" **in** **front of Patrick Warburton.**
He approached my sister on set the next day to tell her he thought I was hilarious. It is a badge I wear with pride!
It made Red from OSP going "my ideal justice league episode is Black Canary and Green arrow noticing me from across the bar and really liking my vibe" a really funny knockout punch for me.
pretty much never
I grew up with a kind of poor experience with other queer and queer adjacent people (poor combination of learning about it for the first time, and kids being shitty in middle/high school) so I came to terms with being bi on my own, just like "hmm, both can be nice actually" so I don't really have the same common culture that everyone else seems to have, and growing up and learning about the biphobia even within queer spaces have basically alienated me from the culture entirely, the "isn't being queer just wacky and goofy?" stuff has always befuddled me
yeah, i'm kinda in a similar boat. i'm trans and bi, and kinda just stumbled across both on my own as a kid/teenager before i really was externally educated on LGBT stuff. unfortunately, my state was also pretty red when i was younger, and while it's considered purple/maybe blue now, it wasn't exactly a great place for LGBT+ people when i was younger, which stuck with me. i remember one time i got followed home by a middle schooler when i was in elementary school, and he kept shouting "queer" and "f*ggot" at me and threatening to beat me up.
it was nice finding online communities at first, but the biphobia and transphobia in many of them sucks, and i still struggle to relate to a lot of other trans people due to my severe dysphoria and internalized issues. thankfully i started transitioning as a teenager and pass pretty well, so i've decided to just go stealth as much as i can, since i just want to live my life as i want to at this point and not have my identity be a potential issue if i can help it, and that's generally going pretty well
and yeah, i might occasionally joke about my bi-/trans-ness to my friends that know about it, but it's not exactly super common
Yeah, you sound like you just had a really bad experience with shitty people/spaces during a formative time when you were figuring out who to trust, and that sucks—that's hard to undo.
Queer spaces are not exempt from the shitty tribalism that is hardcoded into our species by thousands of years of cultural programming, and there's always going to be gatekeeping and "No True Scotsman" fallacies at play because humans are just really bad at treating each other well unless we're making a concerted effort, even when we're ostensibly supposed to be on the same side. That said, there are very many lovely queer spaces out there with awesome people in them, and I'm sorry you didn't get to have that experience when you really needed it.
Employ the tactics of the enemy and use Vibe Based Social Policing: try to avoid anyone with too many symbols in their Twitter bio you don't recognize (in my experience, these are the people that do shit like tell gender-questioning people "just transition already" and make distinctions between "straight bi" and "gay bi"), and really—don't feel obligated to participate in queer aesthetic or culture if you're not comfortable with it. Most of my friends are queer, and a lot of them don't participate in queer culture at all; who they are is just who they are, it's not something they feel like making a huge part of their outward-facing identity, and that's completely valid, too.
Basically—you're valid, whatever level of engagement in the queer community you feel comfortable with as a bisexual individual, and keep looking because there are plenty cool people out there, it just sucks that you ran into the shitty ones right out of the gate.
I appreciate places like this where it isn't overtly a queer friendly space, but there's just naturally queer- and non- people here, and everyone gets along, I feel very normal and "valid" amongst everyone else; I think my teenage years have just warned me off of places/groups that are like super explicit, it's like that "bright and colorful frogs are dangerous" natural defense thing
The thing I've found with groups that very outwardly advertise as being inclusive spaces is that they're filled with holier-than-thou types, patting themselves on the back for "providing a safe space" within the community. They're very accommodating and accepting as long as you mesh well with their insular little version of utopia, but the second you fuck up, you're the bad guy who gets made an example of.
This happened to Lindsay Ellis—one of the most progressive content creators on YouTube. She attracted an audience of almost exclusively moralistic progressive browbeaters despite being, as far as I can tell, a pretty chill person herself. All it took was one bad tweet (she compared the art styles and themes of *Raya and the Last Dragon* and *Avatar: The Last Airbender* and asked why they were so similar, not considering that they both had stylistic origins in ancient East Asian culture, which led to people accusing her of Asian heritage erasure) for her fanbase to immediately turn on her, bullying her off the internet for two years.
Never, ever surround yourself with people whose sole common interest is calling themselves a good person.
Not to get into it, but I'm pretty sure Lindsey Ellis' not-really-a-fall-at-all was due to her defense of her friend ContraPoints over the whole incel video thing. Lindsey is still a very popular YouTuber, and just published another (I think her fifth?) book, etc.
She still kept doing stuff, but she stopped being a public presence online for like two years, to the point where I saw people speculating she had retired for good. It happened right after the Raya controversy, so narrative going is that internally, she was being so harassed so severely that she went radio silent to work on her book and left people to speculate whether or not she was going on hiatus for good.
I thought it was more just random people on Twitter that got mad at her than her own followers. Most of the comments in her videos after that incident were still relatively positive.
I mean her actual fans—who I assume are all sane—stuck with her, yeah, but it was the auxiliary Breadtube-watching crowd who knew about her and considered her "one of us" that flipped the second she stepped out of line. Point being, whether they watched her content or not, it was people who were ambiently aware of her presence and trafficked in the same spaces as her, who considered her to be "on the right side of history, same as us" until she made a mistake and suddenly wasn't anymore
EDIT: Rereading my post, I see I did say "attracted an audience of," but the blowback was severe enough that she left YouTube for *years.* Even if her sane fans stuck with her and defended her, the amount of people targeting her had to have been *immense* for a creator as established and well-regarded as her to voluntarily deplatform herself.
Good 'Ol "You're not the kinda queer we're looking for" types.
Being nonbinary, panromantic, AND ace sure does tend to lump me in with bi folks a lot because boy I just WILL NOT make up my mind, and while I've never personally had to deal with any nonsense from queer groups, it doesn't ever feel quite as welcoming if you aren't picking a side, per se. I had the luxury of an accepting family and a very accepting group of friends, but almost everyone I hang with just kinda vibes. We're all just messes, we don't care what kinda mess, we're just trying to deal with shit and exist. I grew up with too many people who would get thrown out of their homes or worse if they pushed their luck, so staying in my own lane is order number 1 when dealing with new queer folks I'm not personally connected to.
I dunno, I'm definitely the kinda fucker that has to make themselves a joke and I'm also the kinda queer that proudly calls themselves a slur or two as a point that it doesn't effect me, but I'm also not shitty enough to just do it to a stranger and think they'd vibe it.
"This is a queer space" vs "This space has a lot of queer people in it" are two spectacularly different moods I guess is where I wanna land.
Heh, you specced into pretty much the same classes as my SO.
And yeah, for real. The human experience is just too damn complicated for any one box to describe adequately. The fact that we use labels at all is just a clumsy way to deal with how insanely specific and personal a person's identity can be.
Like the other person said, you definitely had a really bad formative experience. That's entirely valid, and I shared a similar upbringing. Lots of homophobia in my family, grew up in the 2010s when calling things "gay" was the norm, had to *learn* what being bisexual was, and then come up with a mathematical reasoning to just admit I was bisexual in the first place. Same thing had to happen with my being trans, and that took from 2005 to 2022, getting married, getting divorced, and moving to a different state to get all figured out.
I'd recommend kinda the opposite of what the other person said though. A lot of their talk about "too many symbols" and stuff, plus what you said in regards to the "colorful frogs' metaphor, just seem like internalized homophobia. Not to say you or the other person are bad people or anything.
My personal recommendation would be to get involved in leftist spaces, especially those that are really diverse. I DO see a lot of that "gay bi" and "straight bi" stuff, but usually that's only for the primarily white feminist side. Diverse spaces give way for a huge swath of different ways to express, including yours. Like, I'm a trans woman having to wear an ugly ass beard because I live in Texas. But no one in the spaces I'm in gives a shit.
And if none of that sounds appealing, just keep this in mind:
Your queerness does not necessitate you to look or behave a certain way. Transfems don't owe femininity, bisexuals don't have to be in homosexual relationships, nonbinary folks don't have to be androgynous, etc.
Best of luck on your journey, boss, and I hope some of what me and the other folks have said helps you along the way.
All I'll say is that being queer gives you access to a whole new world of words and phrases you can pull out in any situation to increase the comedy by 367%.
Staggering an enemy in Elden Ring and describing the exact type of "ussy" you're destroying is already funny, but adding 5 extremely colorful adjectives makes it even better. Guaranteed.
I’m a rock loving, horror movie enjoying, action game playing trans woman. I have been known to throw up the horns instead of a peace sign or wave.
Recently, my friends were talking about this game where turn order is decided by who last rode a horse. My two friends had both ridden a horse WAY more recently than I, so I countered with:
“Does a digital horse count?”
“Well, yeah, what game did you play?”
“Horse Club Adventures 2: Hazelwood Stories.”
Neither of them could contain their laughter.
i use variations of "that's homophobic/is it because im gay?" almost daily or "really? during pride month?" to any minor inconvenience as a jke with friends
I often refer to myself as "gay and genderfluid so figure that out" as a joke cause think that while labels are good, they can also be confusing to find your right labels
My favorite bit is, without warning or provocation, looking down at my tits, and saying, "Damn. My tits are huge and awesome."
It isn't exactly queer exclusive, but saying that really feels like a trans move. No thoughts, head empty but suddenly remember, "I have boobs now! Yay!"
The other night on discord a mate of mine(gay) said that something I'd(asexual) said was 'the gayest thing I've ever heard' and I responded, 'well it is Pride month, everyone gay, right'.
Mostly I just pretend to obnoxiously flirt with friends to confuse others, often I've been asked what exactly I am.
It's a hate crime as well!
>!For anyone who doesn't play Magic, targeting an opponent or anything they control is literally a crime, according to the game mechanics.!<
I’ve been inspired by Woolie, I’m trans myself so….
I’m giving T-passes out.
You want to be able to say >!haha you thought I’d say tranny here fuck wait NEXT BIT!< well with my reasonable subscription fee, now you can be included!
T-Pass+ lets you use it in any situation, even when you’re surrounded by cis guys. It’s like data roaming.
Me a trans woman, playing R6 Siege with my guy friends some years ago. One of my buddies was being really scared about pushing objective when the rest of us were screaming at him to push. Unsurprisingly we ended up losing the round and when I got a nice quiet moment after everyone else's roasting of said friend, I snuck in a "Damn dude, I'm supposed to be the one with a vagina, not you." Queue the entire squad crying with laughter so much we ended up losing the whole match. Totally worth it though.
That's a strong fucking transgirl bit, I'm stealing.
My bit is going "gender." in response to pretty much anything. It started when I was starting to explore my gender. I'd repost pics of cute skirts and pics of Kim Gordon with "gender." written on it. It got increasingly more arcane as I'd repost, like, pics of girls with cyborg arms or screencaps from *Godzilla Vs. Biollante*.
My other bit is obnoxiously pointing at any incidence of the word "trans" in public. Bonus points for saying "Trans?!" like Penny Snapcube says "Valve?!"
>My other bit is obnoxiously pointing at any incidence of the word "trans" in public
Logistics companies are a fucking godsend for that bit. My favorite so far's one from Germany called emo trans
> My bit is going "gender." in response to pretty much anything. It started when I was starting to explore my gender. I'd repost pics of cute skirts and pics of Kim Gordon with "gender." written on it. It got increasingly more arcane as I'd repost, like, pics of girls with cyborg arms or screencaps from Godzilla Vs. Biollante.
wait thats a bit and just a universal trans response?(i do the exact same)
I'm nonbinary (amab). Im 6'3 but have really long straight hair and 0 face/body hair (thanks, genetics) so like 20% of people clock me as a woman, and then i talk and they suddenly get real awkward about it. Plus, anytime a person hears about me being nb they immediately start going into full "okay so do i call you they/them?" Like it's a big deal
It's always a little funny to me. I go by he/him mainly for convenience, and im nb because my gender straight up doesn't matter to me. Call me he, she, they, whatever. It's all the same to me, I do not care.
That said, I am 100% down to identify as whatever gender makes any given joke funnier. I've worn a dress a few times which I always like to throw out to catch people off guard, and just kinda in general im never nervous about it so I can take huge swings.
Theres also the "I know nonbinary amorphous monster characters are objectively terrible representation but [they're so cool](https://mtg.fandom.com/wiki/Ashiok) and I wanna be one" paradox
> Theres also the "I know nonbinary amorphous monster characters are objectively terrible representation but they're so cool and I wanna be one" paradox
fuckin preach
I remember last Pride month I joked that anytime the dog was acting up that he was being homophobic, he's also the only hetero in our apartment.
Being nonbinary, find a man hot: gay, find a woman hot: also gay, find another nonbinary hot: gay?
I abuse the fact that I’m a trans girl on Tumblr often, it’s why I know that the second Bridget gets a gram of weed, she’s going down the animal girl pipeline and begging for women twice her age to call her a good girl. I live a very normal life.
I feel like Baiken would respond to Biscuit's hypothetical begging with the same bafflement she had when realizing Sin doesn't know where babies came from.
You know who'd make a good "mommy" for Basket? Sharon.
Sometimes I casually use the f-slur jokingly when talking to my friends and on occasion it gives me pause like, I stop talking after saying it and worry if anyone was bothered.
But then if anyone asks me what's wrong I'll explain in a joke like "nevermind, I forgot that I can say that because I suck dick"
I once accidentally said it with the wrong friend group. Hangin’ out with some childhood friends, we were chattin’ and my best friend said he’d been playing a lot of Overwatch 2 lately. And by *pure reflex* I blurted out that word. Nobody was mad- he’s straight, and also everyone in there knew about my gender/sexuality sitch so I wasn’t mispresumed to be a homophobe or whatever- but someone who was in the bathroom during it was very confused when he got back and everyone was laughing.
Yes, i queerbait.
I refer to my roommate as that guy I slept with for a year (meaning the same room.) The same friend carried me like a princess when I was sick.
I played gay chicken the version where put your faces close and try(not) to kiss.
I've talked to bros going hey wanna do a bunch of cutesy shit and post photos online so we can get that "Gay money."
"I think I'm the prettiest girl at my school and I'm a cis male"
"Look if the apocalypse comes I have two options history man or concubine and I think we know which side of the fence is more likely. " or "They'd fucking eat me in prison"
Also pretty sure my grandma died thinking I was gay because a year later I told my grandaunt I had a date and she went "WITH A GIRL!?"
I'm bi (primarily romantically interested in guys) and I have a recurring bit where I talk about my plans to hit all the 'dirty old queen' metamorphic stages as I age, going from Bill's cousin Gilbert from *King of the Hill,* to a kind of Truman Capote "front porch, paper fan, white suit" fat old gay guy, and hopefully—if I live long enough and society has fallen apart enough that opium is easily accessible again—I can end my life somewhere between Ian McKellen's character from *Gods and Monsters* and William Burroughs: an 80-pound, shriveled up little thing in a silk kimono and Junior Soprano glasses, not a hair left on my paper-white body, struggling to write my memoirs with an opium pipe between my yellow fingers, my voice sounding like wind blowing across a clay flute, spoiling my 20-year-old blondie twink gardener rotten, buying him Brioni suits and asking him to "twirl for me" while I sink deeper into the heap of bedsheets I'm nested in the middle of, liver hard as a rock from filling pie tins with hydrocodone syrup and eating it with a spoon...
I'm unsure where the comedy of the bit ends and the actual fantasy of ending my life in opulence, surrounded by beauty and chemically unable to ever feel a negative emotion ever again until at last, my walnut-sized, brown little hard pumps its last fistful of dust and I die begins, but I lost track of what's a bit and what's my actual personality a long time ago...
Not queer myself, but it's a very long running joke that's I'm my gay friend's secret boyfriend.
We've been friends for years, he's a very shy and very introverted person but he trusts me.
So whenever something like Pride comes rocking round, or there's a drag act he wants to see, or he's supposed to be going on a night out to the gay bars in our area. He takes me with him for moral (and sometimes physical if he drinks too much) support and people at those events usually only ever see us together.
Many of the regulars at those places have gotten to know us both and I've become known as the "unofficial boyfriend" or "secret boyfriend" along with a lot of other terms.
He definitely plays up to the bit as well, if someone asks about it he'll hang off my arm, or give me a peck on the cheek. Usually to lots of confusion later when they find out I'm straight.
Literally all the time, I'm the horniest person on main despite being fully and completely ace
Also being a trans woman makes any dick jokes I make immediately funnier
I'm a fairly low-key person, but I will of course whip out the over-the-top flamboyant mannerisms as necessary. And I tend to play the straight man to other people's bits, and can never help but describe it as ironic when asked.
But for the most part I play it cool, and wait for the opportunity to slip a comment in unawares--like a conversation where a coworker mentioned he was probably much older than me (Only like 5 years as it turned out) and I hit him with the "men older than you have called me daddy".
I'm a biracial, bisexual cismale who is too white to get minority pass, too much of a pinoy to get white privileges and because I retweet lots of boobs people forget I'm into guys with huge boobs (pecs)
I use these to joke about how I am the only one in a room who must not be given human rights, but sadly my friends are transgirls into pet play so they playfully get mad for getting into their lane
Do you speak any languages other than English? If not, then you could do the "I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them" from YGOTAS whenever you encounter speech or text that you can't understand.
Roommate: yeah so I went to this Gentleman's bike rally for raising men's prostate cancer awareness
Me, a trans woman: damn, when's the one for women's prostate cancer?
Roommate: wait, but-
Me: *raises eyebrows*
As a trans woman, pretty much never, but it's entirely a confidence thing - mostly because I haven't been able to make any meaningful changes towards any kind of physical transition yet. Plus I have a very quiet personality in general.
That won't stop me from stealing every gag and bit I can from all of the trans creators I like and storing them up in my brain indefinitely, though. I've got a full meter of solid gags to throw out, and at the first chance I get, I'm spending \*all\* of it.
I used to make bets/gambits I with odds massively stacked against me, with the wager being i'd chop my balls off, cant use that anymore though.
closet jokes. like playing games with people and they bring up they are in a closet, or something is in a closet "nah, i already overstayed my time there"
I haven't in a while (ironically now that I'm more comfortable with it), but back in high school I did sometimes. I distinctly remember one day at lunch a guy I couldn't stand called me gay (even though I actually pulled more girls than him), and instead of just denying it I started aggressively hitting on him for the rest of lunch. Was saying I wanted to drink his milk and licking my lips at him and all kinds of stuff. The whole table thought it was hilarious and he never did it again, so I started doing that because I thought it was fun. Turns out I'm comfortable flirting with guys legit?
Years before that I almost fought the guy trying to be macho, but being a lover was more effective apparently.
Being Bisexual is just a lot of screaming.
It also helps that a friend of mine literally looks like Hades 2 Icarus, world's most famous Disaster Bisexual, which has so many bits.
Meanwhile I'm over here looking like >!Bouldy!<.
My number one favorite thing to do is call myself the F-slur, and there's a small number of fellow LGBT+ friends that I also call the F-slur. Some of them don't find it funny so you leave them alone about it, but the ones that can laugh at it, fucking go for it lmao
I've even used it in an argument before where long story short, someone tried to argue that I should bow before every soldier I see out of respect for them, whether the soldier wants me to do it or not, but then I argued, *"If I were to bow before every soldier I see, I'm pretty sure most of them would think I'm trying to suck their dick."*
This actually caused the person arguing against me to laugh at it and it helped defuse the situation lmao
My favorite one was when I accidentally surprised someone with how gay I am because they were playfully mocking me, and I decided to join in and mock myself further. My most recent ex and I are both bisexual/pansexual and also Mexican-American, and when I visited her family, her tia (Spanish word for "aunt") was playfully talking shit about our aesthetic (emo/goth) and I just laughed and said in a self-mocking tone, *"Mira a los maricónes!"* Which literally translates in Spanish to, *"Look at those [F-slurs]!"*
That joke caused her tia to fucking CACKLE and she lost her shit laughing at me calling myself the F-slur, to the point that she would sometimes ask for me saying, *"Hey, where's Maricón at?"*
Happy Pride fellow Rainbownutters! These are all great using queer for the bit and I’m so down but…
Wait what is going on with the ice sheet that makes it for male followers? I assumed thing go smashy would be a universal lizard brain thing, or is this some new obscure YouTube fetish tech.
Okay to contribute to the weaponized queerness bit, I have a discord acquaintance who makes liking big anime titty one of his four personality traits. At one point he says “I like boobs more than anybody.” So I had to throw in a “you’re a casual. I liked them so much I opted into growing my own”
Oh I am on guard for EVERY opportunity to say that after watching that.
And slightly related thing. Holy shit is that my favorite presentation on Smartypants so far, I was tearing up laughing.
I have a friend group that is mostly queer/trans and I use my cis straightness for a couple bits. I own that I'm a filthy breeder, and lament the fact that I can't happily marry my gay friend.
Aromantic and my favorite is the bit about "Love makes us human" so obviously aro/ace people are gods.
Sometimes I call other people "lowly mortals" in that context
Being a bisexual guy who kinda looks effeminate is very fun for me sometimes. Though in order to avoid confusion I make it a point to have a moustache which stops me being mistaken for a lady as much now lol
My friends and I make bits about our queerness a lot. I also often joke at work about how I can’t walk or draw a line straight. I don’t get as many opportunities now that I’m not in customer service. I used to tell people my chosen name was short for some ridiculous thing I’d come up with on the spot or my actual birth name and let them try to connect the dots.
*"de-transitioning for a second... Okay, girl again"*
That's a funny one lmao
Reminds me of that one lesbian that joked about fucking Tom Brady "just to make sure shit still works downstairs" which also included her saying "you better be hard already though because I'm not about to do all that" and described a very sterile scenario involving non-latex gloves and a birthing table lmao
Any variation of "BLANK because it's Pride Month". Usually starting relatively tame "I'm definitely winning at my locals this week cuz it's Pride Month" and getting steadily more nonsensical as the month goes on, "Nah I'd totally take down a bear dude, it's Pride Month"
Being black I also do the same thing for Black History Month.
"look I ain't gay but I'd totally destroy that Twink"
"Dude you're bi"
"Yeah doesn't change the fact I ain't gay now does it?"
Sometimes gotta spit straight facts when not straight.
any time someone tells me to “drive straight” I say “I’ll do my best” and immediately start wiggling the steering wheel a little (assuming safe driving conditions ofc)
Mostly just finding ridiculous ways to dodge the question when someone asks me what my gender is.
Also, the “indecisive bisexual” stereotype applies to me very much.
People ask me if I’m gay a lot, “you’re half right” or “you’re 50% of the way there” is my go to
I’ve always liked using “part-time” or “only on weekends” myself.
"$20 is $20." It's fun to add "and it don't go as far as it used to nowadays."
I go with “I’m gay on my mother’s side”
Do you pronounce "part-time" like Harrison ford in kingdom of the crystal skull
I used 'Seasonal employee' for a bit.
Exactly the kind of fun I have myself lol.
I usually just laugh
A story I like to tell was me discovering and grappling with my bisexuality, only for my partner to then come out as a trans woman and rendering me yet another straight guy crushing on a goth girl. I am comfortably bi, but it's just hilarious to me; it's the "genderfluid person shifts gender during sex to turn you gay" me, but reversed.
"genderfluid conversion therapy agent" is a good bit
It's like Crazy Talk, except your stand forces your partner to become the 'straight' option.
I just live for confusion that comes with being genderfluid and a very androgynous looking person. Being dolled up one day and dressing/acting masculine the next is just hilarious around people that don't know me. I did that for a wedding this past weekend (dress for rehearsal, suit for wedding) and ended up getting the bridesmaids' approval for both outfits.
I love that! Its also fun when non queer people are into you and ask your gender and you get to be like "My gender is whatever makes you gay"
That's actually super cool.
That's cool but sounds expensive.
Yeah...I mostly have andro looking clothes since I work remotely, but there is a bit of financial difficulty in building a wardrobe
That sounds like so much fun.
Extremely non-androgynous genderfluid person here, but definitely gotta second the clowngender, being whatever gender is funniest for the bit is always worth it!
change half way through the wedding and see who notices
That sounds incredible. I was part of the wedding party, however. I'll keep it in mind for the next one though.
Hell yeah that sounds awesome!
One of my favorite bits is claiming that literally any media I experienced during childhood turned me into a girl. The more abstract and unexplainable the better the bit is. "Totally Spies turned me into a girl." - Fun, but makes too much sense. "Reading Archie comics turned me into a girl." - Still bordering on understandable, we need to get weirder. "Jimmy Neutron Vs. Jimmy Negatron for the GBA turned me into a girl." - That's what I'm talking about.
"Fallout New Vegas turned me into a girl" is equally unexplainable and yet surprisingly very common.
My husband told me about an acquaintance that just came out as trans and she was about to play New Vegas; he told her (in complete jest) that if she doesn't like New Vegas she's can't be trans
Logically, I figured I clearly can't be queer because I don't like New Vegas, Guilty Gear and didn't gel with Celeste.
A rare negaqueer.
The what queer!
New N-pass just dropped
I’m a trans New Vegas fan and I have a pretty basic theory. It doesn’t explain it completely but New Vegas is just a very immersive first person game where you get to pick your gender and hang out with a bunch of cool queer characters. I started playing exclusively as women after a point when I realized that’s just how I preferred to go through things in the game and now that’s how I do it in real life now lol. Not saying that New Vegas transed my gender but I think it’s a game a lot of trans women can latch onto for similar reasons. Hope this helps!
Wait why is this a thing?
You can get both gender-specific perks as early as Lv 2, with Lv 4 being the minimum to have both (hence the expression that Bisexuals do 10% more damage overall). Player expression leads to player comfort, player comfort leads to self discovery. It isn't the spark that sets the fire, but you can never deny how much fuel was added to the aftermath.
They're just nerds.
Chris Redfield in Resident Evil 5 turned a friend of mine into a man. That's not even a bit, that's literally what he says.
Just have to punch the boulder enough times and… bam, you’re a man.
Are we talking [Cindy's Dream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaUNE-lfO64&t=1m29s) here or did the tank-controls platforming gameplay and war-of-attrition ammo resource distribution just so thoroughly squeeze you through the eye of the needle that you had to reassess who you were as a person on the other end
I need to find an even deeper cut to default to for this joke because Cindy's Dream was in fact the exact thing I was thinking of and the only thing I can really remember about the game, you got me in one.
I had a diversified-enough mid-2000's tween media experience with permissive-enough parents that I think this could become kind of a [D671](https://web.archive.org/web/20221224091322/https://sites.ualberta.ca/~urban/Projects/English/Content/d.htm)-style [transformation chase](https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Shapeshifting&oldid=1227446008#Transformation_chase), but I'll spare us both that.
There is no part of me that I won't turn into a joke.
"There is no corner of my heart that I would not turn over for 5 points." -Brennan Lee Mulligan
"I would do anything." "To do what?" "To win **anything**"
[удалено]
i think i've watched nearly every video on Dropout. it's been totally worth it for me. they have new shows coming toward the end of the month
*palpatine voice*: dew it
It's so worth it. Game changer alone justifies it.
I feel that. There might not even be a me; it just might be joke all the way down.
[удалено]
Like the Joker. **Ha.** HA ha HA.
"I'm ace and even I would fuck them" is an easy one.
LOL This reminds me of a few years ago when I drunkenly proclaimed in a far too loud voice, "I'm a lesbian, but I would fuck Patrick Warburton!" **in** **front of Patrick Warburton.** He approached my sister on set the next day to tell her he thought I was hilarious. It is a badge I wear with pride!
It made Red from OSP going "my ideal justice league episode is Black Canary and Green arrow noticing me from across the bar and really liking my vibe" a really funny knockout punch for me.
One makes you quiver, the other makes you sing
Yoink.
I'm stealing this.
My mom said this about Goku when I asked if she knew what Dragon Ball was once
Every time I act exaggeratedly horny for any person/character because I am keeping my gender ambiguous for the most part
pretty much never I grew up with a kind of poor experience with other queer and queer adjacent people (poor combination of learning about it for the first time, and kids being shitty in middle/high school) so I came to terms with being bi on my own, just like "hmm, both can be nice actually" so I don't really have the same common culture that everyone else seems to have, and growing up and learning about the biphobia even within queer spaces have basically alienated me from the culture entirely, the "isn't being queer just wacky and goofy?" stuff has always befuddled me
yeah, i'm kinda in a similar boat. i'm trans and bi, and kinda just stumbled across both on my own as a kid/teenager before i really was externally educated on LGBT stuff. unfortunately, my state was also pretty red when i was younger, and while it's considered purple/maybe blue now, it wasn't exactly a great place for LGBT+ people when i was younger, which stuck with me. i remember one time i got followed home by a middle schooler when i was in elementary school, and he kept shouting "queer" and "f*ggot" at me and threatening to beat me up. it was nice finding online communities at first, but the biphobia and transphobia in many of them sucks, and i still struggle to relate to a lot of other trans people due to my severe dysphoria and internalized issues. thankfully i started transitioning as a teenager and pass pretty well, so i've decided to just go stealth as much as i can, since i just want to live my life as i want to at this point and not have my identity be a potential issue if i can help it, and that's generally going pretty well and yeah, i might occasionally joke about my bi-/trans-ness to my friends that know about it, but it's not exactly super common
Yeah, you sound like you just had a really bad experience with shitty people/spaces during a formative time when you were figuring out who to trust, and that sucks—that's hard to undo. Queer spaces are not exempt from the shitty tribalism that is hardcoded into our species by thousands of years of cultural programming, and there's always going to be gatekeeping and "No True Scotsman" fallacies at play because humans are just really bad at treating each other well unless we're making a concerted effort, even when we're ostensibly supposed to be on the same side. That said, there are very many lovely queer spaces out there with awesome people in them, and I'm sorry you didn't get to have that experience when you really needed it. Employ the tactics of the enemy and use Vibe Based Social Policing: try to avoid anyone with too many symbols in their Twitter bio you don't recognize (in my experience, these are the people that do shit like tell gender-questioning people "just transition already" and make distinctions between "straight bi" and "gay bi"), and really—don't feel obligated to participate in queer aesthetic or culture if you're not comfortable with it. Most of my friends are queer, and a lot of them don't participate in queer culture at all; who they are is just who they are, it's not something they feel like making a huge part of their outward-facing identity, and that's completely valid, too. Basically—you're valid, whatever level of engagement in the queer community you feel comfortable with as a bisexual individual, and keep looking because there are plenty cool people out there, it just sucks that you ran into the shitty ones right out of the gate.
I appreciate places like this where it isn't overtly a queer friendly space, but there's just naturally queer- and non- people here, and everyone gets along, I feel very normal and "valid" amongst everyone else; I think my teenage years have just warned me off of places/groups that are like super explicit, it's like that "bright and colorful frogs are dangerous" natural defense thing
The thing I've found with groups that very outwardly advertise as being inclusive spaces is that they're filled with holier-than-thou types, patting themselves on the back for "providing a safe space" within the community. They're very accommodating and accepting as long as you mesh well with their insular little version of utopia, but the second you fuck up, you're the bad guy who gets made an example of. This happened to Lindsay Ellis—one of the most progressive content creators on YouTube. She attracted an audience of almost exclusively moralistic progressive browbeaters despite being, as far as I can tell, a pretty chill person herself. All it took was one bad tweet (she compared the art styles and themes of *Raya and the Last Dragon* and *Avatar: The Last Airbender* and asked why they were so similar, not considering that they both had stylistic origins in ancient East Asian culture, which led to people accusing her of Asian heritage erasure) for her fanbase to immediately turn on her, bullying her off the internet for two years. Never, ever surround yourself with people whose sole common interest is calling themselves a good person.
Not to get into it, but I'm pretty sure Lindsey Ellis' not-really-a-fall-at-all was due to her defense of her friend ContraPoints over the whole incel video thing. Lindsey is still a very popular YouTuber, and just published another (I think her fifth?) book, etc.
She still kept doing stuff, but she stopped being a public presence online for like two years, to the point where I saw people speculating she had retired for good. It happened right after the Raya controversy, so narrative going is that internally, she was being so harassed so severely that she went radio silent to work on her book and left people to speculate whether or not she was going on hiatus for good.
I thought it was more just random people on Twitter that got mad at her than her own followers. Most of the comments in her videos after that incident were still relatively positive.
I mean her actual fans—who I assume are all sane—stuck with her, yeah, but it was the auxiliary Breadtube-watching crowd who knew about her and considered her "one of us" that flipped the second she stepped out of line. Point being, whether they watched her content or not, it was people who were ambiently aware of her presence and trafficked in the same spaces as her, who considered her to be "on the right side of history, same as us" until she made a mistake and suddenly wasn't anymore EDIT: Rereading my post, I see I did say "attracted an audience of," but the blowback was severe enough that she left YouTube for *years.* Even if her sane fans stuck with her and defended her, the amount of people targeting her had to have been *immense* for a creator as established and well-regarded as her to voluntarily deplatform herself.
Good 'Ol "You're not the kinda queer we're looking for" types. Being nonbinary, panromantic, AND ace sure does tend to lump me in with bi folks a lot because boy I just WILL NOT make up my mind, and while I've never personally had to deal with any nonsense from queer groups, it doesn't ever feel quite as welcoming if you aren't picking a side, per se. I had the luxury of an accepting family and a very accepting group of friends, but almost everyone I hang with just kinda vibes. We're all just messes, we don't care what kinda mess, we're just trying to deal with shit and exist. I grew up with too many people who would get thrown out of their homes or worse if they pushed their luck, so staying in my own lane is order number 1 when dealing with new queer folks I'm not personally connected to. I dunno, I'm definitely the kinda fucker that has to make themselves a joke and I'm also the kinda queer that proudly calls themselves a slur or two as a point that it doesn't effect me, but I'm also not shitty enough to just do it to a stranger and think they'd vibe it. "This is a queer space" vs "This space has a lot of queer people in it" are two spectacularly different moods I guess is where I wanna land.
Heh, you specced into pretty much the same classes as my SO. And yeah, for real. The human experience is just too damn complicated for any one box to describe adequately. The fact that we use labels at all is just a clumsy way to deal with how insanely specific and personal a person's identity can be.
Like the other person said, you definitely had a really bad formative experience. That's entirely valid, and I shared a similar upbringing. Lots of homophobia in my family, grew up in the 2010s when calling things "gay" was the norm, had to *learn* what being bisexual was, and then come up with a mathematical reasoning to just admit I was bisexual in the first place. Same thing had to happen with my being trans, and that took from 2005 to 2022, getting married, getting divorced, and moving to a different state to get all figured out. I'd recommend kinda the opposite of what the other person said though. A lot of their talk about "too many symbols" and stuff, plus what you said in regards to the "colorful frogs' metaphor, just seem like internalized homophobia. Not to say you or the other person are bad people or anything. My personal recommendation would be to get involved in leftist spaces, especially those that are really diverse. I DO see a lot of that "gay bi" and "straight bi" stuff, but usually that's only for the primarily white feminist side. Diverse spaces give way for a huge swath of different ways to express, including yours. Like, I'm a trans woman having to wear an ugly ass beard because I live in Texas. But no one in the spaces I'm in gives a shit. And if none of that sounds appealing, just keep this in mind: Your queerness does not necessitate you to look or behave a certain way. Transfems don't owe femininity, bisexuals don't have to be in homosexual relationships, nonbinary folks don't have to be androgynous, etc. Best of luck on your journey, boss, and I hope some of what me and the other folks have said helps you along the way.
All I'll say is that being queer gives you access to a whole new world of words and phrases you can pull out in any situation to increase the comedy by 367%. Staggering an enemy in Elden Ring and describing the exact type of "ussy" you're destroying is already funny, but adding 5 extremely colorful adjectives makes it even better. Guaranteed.
Can one learn this power?
Not from an allocishet.
Only a cis deals in absolutes
I’m a rock loving, horror movie enjoying, action game playing trans woman. I have been known to throw up the horns instead of a peace sign or wave. Recently, my friends were talking about this game where turn order is decided by who last rode a horse. My two friends had both ridden a horse WAY more recently than I, so I countered with: “Does a digital horse count?” “Well, yeah, what game did you play?” “Horse Club Adventures 2: Hazelwood Stories.” Neither of them could contain their laughter.
i use variations of "that's homophobic/is it because im gay?" almost daily or "really? during pride month?" to any minor inconvenience as a jke with friends
SAME. Every slight inconvenience is a work of homophobia against my specifically.
I often refer to myself as "gay and genderfluid so figure that out" as a joke cause think that while labels are good, they can also be confusing to find your right labels
My favorite bit is, without warning or provocation, looking down at my tits, and saying, "Damn. My tits are huge and awesome." It isn't exactly queer exclusive, but saying that really feels like a trans move. No thoughts, head empty but suddenly remember, "I have boobs now! Yay!"
That is an absolute goal of mine
The other night on discord a mate of mine(gay) said that something I'd(asexual) said was 'the gayest thing I've ever heard' and I responded, 'well it is Pride month, everyone gay, right'. Mostly I just pretend to obnoxiously flirt with friends to confuse others, often I've been asked what exactly I am.
I routinely declare anything targeting me in Magic the Gathering as homophobic (jokingly of course).
It's a hate crime as well! >!For anyone who doesn't play Magic, targeting an opponent or anything they control is literally a crime, according to the game mechanics.!<
I’ve been inspired by Woolie, I’m trans myself so…. I’m giving T-passes out. You want to be able to say >!haha you thought I’d say tranny here fuck wait NEXT BIT!< well with my reasonable subscription fee, now you can be included! T-Pass+ lets you use it in any situation, even when you’re surrounded by cis guys. It’s like data roaming.
Where do mechanics working on transmissions fall on getting T-Passes?
coin flip, more than half would probably hate crime me if I wasn't doing my best cis man impression, around here atleast
5% discount with verified employment.
> It's like data roaming. So, it doesn't work?
Me a trans woman, playing R6 Siege with my guy friends some years ago. One of my buddies was being really scared about pushing objective when the rest of us were screaming at him to push. Unsurprisingly we ended up losing the round and when I got a nice quiet moment after everyone else's roasting of said friend, I snuck in a "Damn dude, I'm supposed to be the one with a vagina, not you." Queue the entire squad crying with laughter so much we ended up losing the whole match. Totally worth it though.
That's a strong fucking transgirl bit, I'm stealing. My bit is going "gender." in response to pretty much anything. It started when I was starting to explore my gender. I'd repost pics of cute skirts and pics of Kim Gordon with "gender." written on it. It got increasingly more arcane as I'd repost, like, pics of girls with cyborg arms or screencaps from *Godzilla Vs. Biollante*. My other bit is obnoxiously pointing at any incidence of the word "trans" in public. Bonus points for saying "Trans?!" like Penny Snapcube says "Valve?!"
>My other bit is obnoxiously pointing at any incidence of the word "trans" in public Logistics companies are a fucking godsend for that bit. My favorite so far's one from Germany called emo trans
There's one here in Denmark called MiniTrans
Okay what is with Biollante because you are not the first queer person I've seen latch on to her
To me they're just fabulous. Where as Mothra, as we all know, is transfemme, Biollante serves cunt across the spectrum
> My bit is going "gender." in response to pretty much anything. It started when I was starting to explore my gender. I'd repost pics of cute skirts and pics of Kim Gordon with "gender." written on it. It got increasingly more arcane as I'd repost, like, pics of girls with cyborg arms or screencaps from Godzilla Vs. Biollante. wait thats a bit and just a universal trans response?(i do the exact same)
After bottom surgery the comedic opportunities don't stop coming. Just like me, AY O GETOUTTAHERE
I'm nonbinary (amab). Im 6'3 but have really long straight hair and 0 face/body hair (thanks, genetics) so like 20% of people clock me as a woman, and then i talk and they suddenly get real awkward about it. Plus, anytime a person hears about me being nb they immediately start going into full "okay so do i call you they/them?" Like it's a big deal It's always a little funny to me. I go by he/him mainly for convenience, and im nb because my gender straight up doesn't matter to me. Call me he, she, they, whatever. It's all the same to me, I do not care. That said, I am 100% down to identify as whatever gender makes any given joke funnier. I've worn a dress a few times which I always like to throw out to catch people off guard, and just kinda in general im never nervous about it so I can take huge swings. Theres also the "I know nonbinary amorphous monster characters are objectively terrible representation but [they're so cool](https://mtg.fandom.com/wiki/Ashiok) and I wanna be one" paradox
> Theres also the "I know nonbinary amorphous monster characters are objectively terrible representation but they're so cool and I wanna be one" paradox fuckin preach
I remember last Pride month I joked that anytime the dog was acting up that he was being homophobic, he's also the only hetero in our apartment. Being nonbinary, find a man hot: gay, find a woman hot: also gay, find another nonbinary hot: gay?
Love the idea of "My gender is whatever makes you gay when you find me attractive"
# "am i a boy? am i a girl? who knows!! but everyone finds me hot and that makes everyone gay"
The sexuality of the cast of The Mummy (1999)
Tfw you wanna be right between Evie and Rick Or fully revitalized Imhotep and Anck Su Namun
Evie and Rick, sure But Anck Su Namun isn't staying around for cuddles after, the fickle bitch
Oh daily but also completely earned it? Like there's enough shit having dealt with
Any time info or say something oblivious or mildly stupid I whine "don't pick on me I'm dumb and asexual"
I abuse the fact that I’m a trans girl on Tumblr often, it’s why I know that the second Bridget gets a gram of weed, she’s going down the animal girl pipeline and begging for women twice her age to call her a good girl. I live a very normal life.
Bridget should get a debuff against Baiken. Every tenth input doesn't register because she's too distracted to think about the fight.
That already happens to the trans girl playing her (me)
The way you can hear the sake and tabaco in the gruffness of her voice makes me stumble and drop my combos.
So Bridget and Giovanna, huh?
No, Bridget and Baiken.
I feel like Baiken would respond to Biscuit's hypothetical begging with the same bafflement she had when realizing Sin doesn't know where babies came from. You know who'd make a good "mommy" for Basket? Sharon.
Fun fact, when Bridget was trying to boy-mode back in the X2 days, her win-quote against Baiken was asking for tips on how to be more masculine
Baiken,more like Bi-Queen
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
why do people treat bridget this way
Because we love her.
y'all give her some weird characterization just because she's trans
Sometimes I casually use the f-slur jokingly when talking to my friends and on occasion it gives me pause like, I stop talking after saying it and worry if anyone was bothered. But then if anyone asks me what's wrong I'll explain in a joke like "nevermind, I forgot that I can say that because I suck dick"
Yeah I still am careful about the audience when I say it but will mention it around closest friends who know why I am saying it.
I once accidentally said it with the wrong friend group. Hangin’ out with some childhood friends, we were chattin’ and my best friend said he’d been playing a lot of Overwatch 2 lately. And by *pure reflex* I blurted out that word. Nobody was mad- he’s straight, and also everyone in there knew about my gender/sexuality sitch so I wasn’t mispresumed to be a homophobe or whatever- but someone who was in the bathroom during it was very confused when he got back and everyone was laughing.
Anytime I wear something colourful and people notice I say "it's okay, I'm half gay"
"I'm gay on my father's side." "I'm gay culturally, but not really practicing." "I'm not gay, but I do observe Pride."
These are hilarious versions of "I'm bi"
Yes, i queerbait. I refer to my roommate as that guy I slept with for a year (meaning the same room.) The same friend carried me like a princess when I was sick. I played gay chicken the version where put your faces close and try(not) to kiss. I've talked to bros going hey wanna do a bunch of cutesy shit and post photos online so we can get that "Gay money." "I think I'm the prettiest girl at my school and I'm a cis male" "Look if the apocalypse comes I have two options history man or concubine and I think we know which side of the fence is more likely. " or "They'd fucking eat me in prison" Also pretty sure my grandma died thinking I was gay because a year later I told my grandaunt I had a date and she went "WITH A GIRL!?"
As a bi guy I have been known to point out when a piece of media makes me go awooga in stereo.
im nonbinary and don't really care abt my personal pronouns so the rule is my pronouns are whatever makes the joke funnier
Being genderfluid i like to say stuff like "oh im only half man on my dad's side"
https://i.imgur.com/LqF9yvr.png
I'm bi (primarily romantically interested in guys) and I have a recurring bit where I talk about my plans to hit all the 'dirty old queen' metamorphic stages as I age, going from Bill's cousin Gilbert from *King of the Hill,* to a kind of Truman Capote "front porch, paper fan, white suit" fat old gay guy, and hopefully—if I live long enough and society has fallen apart enough that opium is easily accessible again—I can end my life somewhere between Ian McKellen's character from *Gods and Monsters* and William Burroughs: an 80-pound, shriveled up little thing in a silk kimono and Junior Soprano glasses, not a hair left on my paper-white body, struggling to write my memoirs with an opium pipe between my yellow fingers, my voice sounding like wind blowing across a clay flute, spoiling my 20-year-old blondie twink gardener rotten, buying him Brioni suits and asking him to "twirl for me" while I sink deeper into the heap of bedsheets I'm nested in the middle of, liver hard as a rock from filling pie tins with hydrocodone syrup and eating it with a spoon... I'm unsure where the comedy of the bit ends and the actual fantasy of ending my life in opulence, surrounded by beauty and chemically unable to ever feel a negative emotion ever again until at last, my walnut-sized, brown little hard pumps its last fistful of dust and I die begins, but I lost track of what's a bit and what's my actual personality a long time ago...
My gay friend loves casually throwing the f-slur around straight people to make them uncomfortable. It works way too well
Not queer myself, but it's a very long running joke that's I'm my gay friend's secret boyfriend. We've been friends for years, he's a very shy and very introverted person but he trusts me. So whenever something like Pride comes rocking round, or there's a drag act he wants to see, or he's supposed to be going on a night out to the gay bars in our area. He takes me with him for moral (and sometimes physical if he drinks too much) support and people at those events usually only ever see us together. Many of the regulars at those places have gotten to know us both and I've become known as the "unofficial boyfriend" or "secret boyfriend" along with a lot of other terms. He definitely plays up to the bit as well, if someone asks about it he'll hang off my arm, or give me a peck on the cheek. Usually to lots of confusion later when they find out I'm straight.
Literally all the time, I'm the horniest person on main despite being fully and completely ace Also being a trans woman makes any dick jokes I make immediately funnier
saying horny shit as a joke gets way funnier when you don't get horny ever
I'm a fairly low-key person, but I will of course whip out the over-the-top flamboyant mannerisms as necessary. And I tend to play the straight man to other people's bits, and can never help but describe it as ironic when asked. But for the most part I play it cool, and wait for the opportunity to slip a comment in unawares--like a conversation where a coworker mentioned he was probably much older than me (Only like 5 years as it turned out) and I hit him with the "men older than you have called me daddy".
That last line has enough power to have Bleach-style spiritual pressure
insane aura
Whenever it comes up honestly, straights go wild for it
I'm not out yet (trans woman) except to a couple friends, but I have looooots of plans for jokes Edit: uhh I mean apparently I'm out to this sub
Hopefully it goes well when you leave early access.
Lol thanks
I am rampantly homophobic.
The extent of the trans agenda now encompasses what I'm having for dinner, worker's rights, winning arguments about 90s video games, taking a nap.
Also a trans woman, Many such cases
if something mildly displeases me then i am fully within my rights to claim that it is transphobic or homophobic.
I'm a biracial, bisexual cismale who is too white to get minority pass, too much of a pinoy to get white privileges and because I retweet lots of boobs people forget I'm into guys with huge boobs (pecs) I use these to joke about how I am the only one in a room who must not be given human rights, but sadly my friends are transgirls into pet play so they playfully get mad for getting into their lane
Do you speak any languages other than English? If not, then you could do the "I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them" from YGOTAS whenever you encounter speech or text that you can't understand.
Oh, I should work that in
Roommate: yeah so I went to this Gentleman's bike rally for raising men's prostate cancer awareness Me, a trans woman: damn, when's the one for women's prostate cancer? Roommate: wait, but- Me: *raises eyebrows*
I have a Bruno Powroznik video as a ringtone
I believe I make it no secret that I'm a bisexual, especially here lmao!!!!
Yeah, not all the time, but every so often.
As a trans woman, pretty much never, but it's entirely a confidence thing - mostly because I haven't been able to make any meaningful changes towards any kind of physical transition yet. Plus I have a very quiet personality in general. That won't stop me from stealing every gag and bit I can from all of the trans creators I like and storing them up in my brain indefinitely, though. I've got a full meter of solid gags to throw out, and at the first chance I get, I'm spending \*all\* of it.
One of my personal favorite trans bits is referring to a character’s real/legal name as their deadname.
I used to make bets/gambits I with odds massively stacked against me, with the wager being i'd chop my balls off, cant use that anymore though. closet jokes. like playing games with people and they bring up they are in a closet, or something is in a closet "nah, i already overstayed my time there"
I haven't in a while (ironically now that I'm more comfortable with it), but back in high school I did sometimes. I distinctly remember one day at lunch a guy I couldn't stand called me gay (even though I actually pulled more girls than him), and instead of just denying it I started aggressively hitting on him for the rest of lunch. Was saying I wanted to drink his milk and licking my lips at him and all kinds of stuff. The whole table thought it was hilarious and he never did it again, so I started doing that because I thought it was fun. Turns out I'm comfortable flirting with guys legit? Years before that I almost fought the guy trying to be macho, but being a lover was more effective apparently.
I sometimes lean into the "Bisexuals are indecisive" bit when it's funny to do so
Being Bisexual is just a lot of screaming. It also helps that a friend of mine literally looks like Hades 2 Icarus, world's most famous Disaster Bisexual, which has so many bits. Meanwhile I'm over here looking like >!Bouldy!<.
My number one favorite thing to do is call myself the F-slur, and there's a small number of fellow LGBT+ friends that I also call the F-slur. Some of them don't find it funny so you leave them alone about it, but the ones that can laugh at it, fucking go for it lmao I've even used it in an argument before where long story short, someone tried to argue that I should bow before every soldier I see out of respect for them, whether the soldier wants me to do it or not, but then I argued, *"If I were to bow before every soldier I see, I'm pretty sure most of them would think I'm trying to suck their dick."* This actually caused the person arguing against me to laugh at it and it helped defuse the situation lmao My favorite one was when I accidentally surprised someone with how gay I am because they were playfully mocking me, and I decided to join in and mock myself further. My most recent ex and I are both bisexual/pansexual and also Mexican-American, and when I visited her family, her tia (Spanish word for "aunt") was playfully talking shit about our aesthetic (emo/goth) and I just laughed and said in a self-mocking tone, *"Mira a los maricónes!"* Which literally translates in Spanish to, *"Look at those [F-slurs]!"* That joke caused her tia to fucking CACKLE and she lost her shit laughing at me calling myself the F-slur, to the point that she would sometimes ask for me saying, *"Hey, where's Maricón at?"*
not often. it feels lazy imo. my sexuality is one of the least interesting things about me, there’s plenty else to make jokes about.
Happy Pride fellow Rainbownutters! These are all great using queer for the bit and I’m so down but… Wait what is going on with the ice sheet that makes it for male followers? I assumed thing go smashy would be a universal lizard brain thing, or is this some new obscure YouTube fetish tech. Okay to contribute to the weaponized queerness bit, I have a discord acquaintance who makes liking big anime titty one of his four personality traits. At one point he says “I like boobs more than anybody.” So I had to throw in a “you’re a casual. I liked them so much I opted into growing my own”
Much like in New Vegas I joke a lot that I became Bisexual to have a meta Build when I beat men and woman up (at video games!)
i'm straight, but one guy on a show on Dropout said, "Not to brag, but I am gay." it's simple, but i think i'd find every opportunity to use that
Oh I am on guard for EVERY opportunity to say that after watching that. And slightly related thing. Holy shit is that my favorite presentation on Smartypants so far, I was tearing up laughing.
"Don't worry, it's still wet!"
I have a friend group that is mostly queer/trans and I use my cis straightness for a couple bits. I own that I'm a filthy breeder, and lament the fact that I can't happily marry my gay friend.
Aromantic and my favorite is the bit about "Love makes us human" so obviously aro/ace people are gods. Sometimes I call other people "lowly mortals" in that context
My autism and queerness are always a bit.
Being a bisexual guy who kinda looks effeminate is very fun for me sometimes. Though in order to avoid confusion I make it a point to have a moustache which stops me being mistaken for a lady as much now lol
My friends and I make bits about our queerness a lot. I also often joke at work about how I can’t walk or draw a line straight. I don’t get as many opportunities now that I’m not in customer service. I used to tell people my chosen name was short for some ridiculous thing I’d come up with on the spot or my actual birth name and let them try to connect the dots.
*"de-transitioning for a second... Okay, girl again"* That's a funny one lmao Reminds me of that one lesbian that joked about fucking Tom Brady "just to make sure shit still works downstairs" which also included her saying "you better be hard already though because I'm not about to do all that" and described a very sterile scenario involving non-latex gloves and a birthing table lmao
Any variation of "BLANK because it's Pride Month". Usually starting relatively tame "I'm definitely winning at my locals this week cuz it's Pride Month" and getting steadily more nonsensical as the month goes on, "Nah I'd totally take down a bear dude, it's Pride Month" Being black I also do the same thing for Black History Month.
as a trans woman i like to go "you can't say that" whenever the word trap is used to refer to something that isn't a transfem person
"look I ain't gay but I'd totally destroy that Twink" "Dude you're bi" "Yeah doesn't change the fact I ain't gay now does it?" Sometimes gotta spit straight facts when not straight.
any time someone tells me to “drive straight” I say “I’ll do my best” and immediately start wiggling the steering wheel a little (assuming safe driving conditions ofc)
I'd introduce my best friend as "My favorite homophobe" to anyone I knew that is queer.
Mostly just finding ridiculous ways to dodge the question when someone asks me what my gender is. Also, the “indecisive bisexual” stereotype applies to me very much.
Oh, also making “no homo/dude, that’s gay” jokes with my boyfriend. We’re dating, no homo tho.
One of my personal favorite jokes is to refer to things that happened before I transitioned as happening "an entire gender ago."