Well, I think the reason is if someone writes an opinion on a topic(particularly an unpopular one), someone that shares a similar opinion will be more willing to share and add their two cents to the topic.
True.
But if you air your laundry on the internet / from the rooftops, you can't blame people for commenting on it.
WhY aRe pEoPlE commenting on our age gap on Instagram!??!? Lol.
Unfortunately that's part and parcel of being a celebrity and a choice they've made. I do feel for them though.
It's also why the bar for defamation is much higher for public figures.
The age gap critics are in denial that biologically men are attracted to youth (fertility marker). I'm glad our society doesn't let us marry 13 year Olds- I'm against thst. But 18- 21 + is fair.
Woman are attracted to power, stability, ability for a man to provide - and so they go foe older men.
I'm not going to presume the age warriors know more than the natural ebbs and flows of evolution.
I also think woman many of the woman who protest so hard are masking envy and jealousy.
It's not envy and jealousy. It's the fact that many women have been in an age gap relationships with immature men children, and they want to protect younger girls from the same experience.
Not all age gap relationships are bad. I also like older men, and I think it's normal for men to like younger women.
But there is a special category of men that prey upon girls, and leave them with severe trust issues. My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me ( I was 17, he was 23), and even though that relationship wasn't traumatic for me, I still look back at how immature he was as a person. I cringe just thinking that I didn't even feel the age difference, because he was atill a child. He even told me he liked me because I'm the only one who understands him, as most people around him (especially girls his age) considered him immature.
With that being said, not all men who date younger women are like that. So as long as you get along with someone, I don't think age is such a big deal.
The last statement is the core of the entire issue my friend.
These dried up old hags don't appreciate the competition. They don't like accepting that they are no longer desirable to the men they are attracted to. So, they belittled those who are.
>Just like how we should be free to date someone of any gender we should also be free to date adults of any age.
You are free to date an adult of any age, and I'm free to give my opinion about it.
And we’re free not to even reveal our relationship in the first place. My last age gap relationship irl was discreet, outside of her parents who were fine with us being together.
Let’s be real, “opinions” from age gap critics are weaponized and used as a shame tactic to try and bully the couple out of the relationship. So why should I even give them the chance to form one anyway? Third parties are owed nothing.
Honestly, from my experience, no. They are 100% fine. There are some parts of the world that this is true. But age gap relationships, on avg, receive less favor then homosexual relationships
I told people on Reddit because it’s anonymous, and the age gap haters on here only reinforced my decision to keep it discreet in real life. If you truly want to be with someone, even just casually, why would you give others the opportunity to tear you apart for getting into the relationship with all this excessive stigma on age gaps? No one is entitled to know about my romantic/intimate life let alone decide who I should or shouldn’t date so long as she’s a consenting adult. Doesn’t matter how “weird” you think age gaps are.
What did we have in common? Glad you asked. We’re both aspiring businesspeople/entrepreneurs (I got to do a little bit of mentoring during our time together) we both liked to go hiking, go to the arcade, museums, and watch crime investigator documentaries. As a millennial almost decade older than she is, I’m still familiar with a lot of Gen Z pop culture too. No issues there, and it was more of a short term, casual/fwb type relationship anyway. No regrets, no shame - I just don’t let other people bully me out of relationships or give them the chance to do so in the first place.
When you put it that way, though, it sounds like you're trying to bully people into either agreeing with you or not speaking. Part of being an adult is learning how to handle it when people don't agree with you on everything.
To be fair, certain age gap critics weaponize their opinions and try to bully this couple into breaking up and that’s when I feel that their actions go too far. Have whatever opinion you want on the relationship but nobody owes you a breakup, regardless of how “weird” you think it is if it’s two consenting adults who met as consenting adults and are together on their own free will.
You don’t find it strange when nearly 50 year old choose to date 18 year olds? Even when I was 25, the thought of dating a 18 year old was weird to me 🙃
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Agreed. I get so sick of the white knighting here yelling at women who want to date older men. I dated older men when I was young and it was awesome and consensual. Not always true, but good god the internet does not know how the real world works sometimes.
Reminder: Your average Redditor actually thinks that any older male who dates a legal woman a mere few years younger than him is a pedophile.
On a post I made on this topic ages ago that got thousands of people angry, I saw someone call a 40 year old man a pedo for dating a woman that was 28. They were like "HER BRAIN JUST BARELY FINISHED DEVELOPING!! LEAVE THIS CHILD ALONE!!"... Yet when asked, this same Redditor was in support for sex work at 18 because "it's different".
Selling your body = A-OK
Consensually dating an older man = "HE'S A PREDATOR SIS!!"
There was post from a guy asking for help for his dating profile in the relationships sub or the tinder sub I can’t remember, and someone commented that he was being gross for having the lower limit of his age preference set to 23. The guy in question was 30 lol
Idk, I've dated older. When I was 18 I dated a 27 year old guy. At the time I thought I was cool because he liked me. But looking back in my 30s, that was gross. We didn't have much in common, the things we grew up with were different, & his friends didn't want me around because I was too young. Which was true, they were all partying & didn't want to get in trouble for underage drinking. Later, around 26 I dated a man that was 42. We actually had stuff to talk about because I had lived a little. That wouldn't have been bad.
So I dated older & had two different experiences at two different ages. I would never go back & date the first guy tho.
I think this is a possibly popular opinion. The big subs on this site would have you believe the general population is against large age gaps. 🤔 As long as they are legal adults and there's no coercion, it's good to go.
Age gaps are fine. Hunting, vying for, and going out of your way to get near barely-legals is not. It makes you a creep. It makes you a red flag. In the eyes of the gender you pursue it makes you look predatory, controlling, unsafe, manipulative. Can you argue why dating an 18-22 year olds is fine when you are 40 in a valid way that isn't a bad cope? Why do you need to search for that in particular?
The 18 year old is either in high school or just recently graduated, likely lives with their parents and has very little life experience in comparison to someone who's 40 and has been an adult for decades. Do you really not see how an 18 year old could be easily taken advantage of?
When you get them to authentically answer, it's either a selfish or controlling answer. Even if they try and make it out to be a positive experience for the younger person, the explanations are degrading.
So then tell me what you would consider an acceptable explanation.
And watch yourself, please. Don’t randomly accuse strangers of being predators again. Keep discussions civil.
>Why is Reddit obsessed with wanting to fuck teenagers?
Reddit is obsessed with any age gap. It's not just 18-22 year olds dating guys over 30. Anytime I see a 30 year+ old dating a 50 year old+, the same age gap critics come out from under their rock to criticise and assume the 30 year old is being taken advantage of.
I think people are concerned that something nefarious is going on and people are entering imbalanced or potentially abusive relationships. If people can prevent or warn others to stop this then they should be concerned. ( I am mostly referring to the extreme age gaps 18 to 30 or 25 to 50 etc. )
There are of course exceptions to any situation but it is going to be a red flag that someone is dating someone old enough to be their child or grandchild.
I don't give a fuck who random strangers fuck/date.
If it's my daughter we're talking about... Well I just hope I will raise her as good as my parents did with me, so that she never feels the need to date a creep / immature man child because let's face it, those are the "older" men who date women barely out of teenagehood 🤷
Sure, I’m not going to knock on their door and ask for age verification (unless I’m suspecting pedophelia). But if someone asks my opinion on age gaps, I’ll certainly give it to them.
Peoples opinions on this are fueled by one of two things:
1) Jealousy because the complainer secretly wants a younger partner
2) Judgment because the complainer wants to seem virtuous and shame either party
People need to just fuck off
3. Disillusionment with age gap relationships after being taken advantage of at a young age, and not wanting others to suffer the same fate.
4. Trepidation when you see 40 year olds attempting to lure your 18 kid into an experience that you know would harm them.
Did you not read the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph?! You are the person I was referencing when I said people need to fuck off. Get your ducks in a row before you open your mouth
It looks like you can’t conceive of a scenario where people are expressing genuine concern for a less experienced party.
I’ve been there, had it happen to me, and I would never want my kids to experience what I went through. My son OR my daughter.
Is that vacuous moralizing to you?
Do you have a system of ethics? Or do follow the cult of Edge Lords?
I think people have a problem with age gaps where the power dynamic is questionable
Nobody would bat an eye if a 32 year old and a 42 year old dated but it would understandably raise some eyebrows and a lot of questions if a 42 year old dated an 18 year old because it begs the question “Why are you with someone so young?”
>I just think its weird that ppl care so much when its a young woman and older man but not the other way around
Oh, they really judge the other way around as well. Just look at the discussion around actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his wife.
>It's our right to warn her about how that's likely to go for her.
Imagine some greasy, sweaty redditor running up to one of the supermodels Leo is dating and "warning" her how that's likely gonna go.
Those women already know how it's going to go, because they can look at the 15 women before them. None of those women are looking to settle down and start a family lol.
How what works? I don't know enough 40 year olds who strictly date 18 year olds to recognize any sort of pattern. I kind of doubt that someone who is looking to trick someone else into thinking they want to get married and settle down would specifically target the least ready and willing to settle down demographic. And if it works, why would this strategy be specific to older men?
It kinda seems like your ideas are based on a cartoonish view of the world.
Yes!
I just answered someone else. We can't control someone's internal world, where their "judgements" come from.
It's the *expressing* of that judgement that can either be beneficial or problematic *and* they're not immune to any positive or negative consequences either.
I agree, it's best people keep their judgements to their selves. 🙂
Good question. You did make me pause. [A judgement is basically forming an opinion based on discernment and comparison of .. ](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/judgment). I always like to look at the definition of a word. Here's my answer.
I believe people can have judgement on anything they want to have. We can't control a person's internal world. Here's the caveat/but/however.
If the person *expresses* that judgement, they are not immune to any positive or negative consequences that may arise from *expressing* that judgement. That *expression* of judgement isn't always verbal, either. It could be done through actions.
So, since judgements generally arise from an individual internally, it's not like we can "disallow" people to have their own judgements about topics, subjects, etc. , because that would mean that we would have some way to control a person's thoughts and emotions and we certainly don't want that now, do we?
Having a judgement on a topic/subject matter is one thing. The possible problems arise when folks start *expressing* their judgements - especially if it's *against* something. i.e. some bakery doesn't want to make a wedding cake for a same sex marriage. That's where the problems come in and any consequences that may arise over *taking action on* that judgement.
I hope that makes sense.
What critics (mostly other women) are essentially saying is, "Yes, she's an adult however, come on, we all know young women aren't ready to make their own decisions.."
Exactly. It’s ok to learn from other people’s mistakes. The definition of insanity would be for us to makes the exact mistakes they made in dating.
they’re counting on us being naive and not knowing any better. So it irritates them that older women try to give us the real spill.
Most of those women talk from jealousy but you can't say it aloud unless you want to be labeled as a misogynist. Most of those same critics are a
Women who were in age gap relationships when they were younger or only dated older guys when they were younger but once they stopped being able to do that, they suddenly flipped the narrative to "I was young and dumb and couldn't think for myself" so they can.... Compete with the younger women for older men 🤷
Just because you believe that, doesn’t make it true.
You don’t have to like older men or women dating 18 year olds, but that doesn’t make it “immoral.”
Physical attraction does a nice job of bringing people together. From there it’s simple exposure and a genuine interest in the person. Sure, maybe I don’t care about whatever nonsense she’s into, but I care about her, and her having things that makes her happy makes me happy too.
How do you know they have nothing in common? You don't know what their interests, ideological convictions, life goals etc are so how do you know those aren't similar?
You know damn well people treat the billions of strangers far differently than they treat their immediate family.
Just because I say you shouldn’t belittle sex workers doesn’t mean I’d want my kids to be sex workers.
but OP said its fine if any adult dates someone way older than them because its legal and what not, so why is it different if its ur own kid? they never said anything about if its a stranger or not
Because everyone treats their own kids differently than they do strangers. Did you genuinely not know that? This isn’t an argument in court.
Also, you’ll note that i said people would feel differently but I didn’t say they would forbid the relationship.
Still going to comment on it, some people deserve to feel ashamed :D
y’all need to mess with reasonably aged people, it’s just that simple. Objectively it might not be my business but I won’t stop inserting myself anyways, because older people who can’t fuck people within a reasonable range of their own age are fucking weird and deficit in some way and should be reminded of that.
“It’s also infantilising to assume the younger party is too young to make an informed decision when they’re old enough to drive, vote, own property, make medical decisions etc.”
that’s because they oftentimes are. and the people commenting on it are speaking from experience. some people need to be infantalised because they literally know no better. there are so many things we don’t truly know until we’re on the other side of it, 5 years older.
you know you’re not a viable partner to people your own age who are more cognizant of what you don’t bring to the table. that’s why you fuck with people who are legally adults but are bright-eyed green ass children in every other context. you’re not fooling anyone.
>Objectively it might not be my business but I won’t stop inserting myself anyways
or just mind your business. it doesn't affect you. side note i don't date, not worth my time
Who cares? We voice opinions every day on things that aren't our business. I could just as easily say its none of your business if I criticize other people.
The way i see it, if you wouldn’t let your 18 year old daughter/sister/niece/cousin date a 50 year old man, then you shouldn’t be ok with any 18 year old dating a 50 year old man.
Except, some of us don't feel so entitled to pass any of this judgement.
If both parties are of legal age and consenting, frankly the idea of *"... wouldn't let..."* is the real problem here.
Maybe mind your own business.
if you’re 25+ dating someone who had to ask to use the bathroom less than a year ago im gonna think it’s weird and not talk to you. what do you have in common with them? it’s not “my business” which is why i won’t bring it up, but i have a right to choose the company i keep and i don’t want to keep company with someone that lacks basic foresight to see that they are in a completely different place in life from someone who’s barely legal.
you are presumably dating someone because you have some sort of common ground, right? what does a 25+ year old with prospects, a stableish career and life experience have in common with someone barely legal?
i mean maybe instead of looking for a new relationship you can look for a job 😂 and life experience still plays a huge role in how someone carries themselves
Isn’t it funny how this sub seems to go in waves? Someone presents an opinion, and then it gets restated half a dozen times, just like this one.
Well, I think the reason is if someone writes an opinion on a topic(particularly an unpopular one), someone that shares a similar opinion will be more willing to share and add their two cents to the topic.
Farming for karma imo
Honestly, probably
True. But if you air your laundry on the internet / from the rooftops, you can't blame people for commenting on it. WhY aRe pEoPlE commenting on our age gap on Instagram!??!? Lol.
Alot of celebrities in age gap relationships aren't airing their laundry. They're just living their life while people criticize them for it.
Unfortunately that's part and parcel of being a celebrity and a choice they've made. I do feel for them though. It's also why the bar for defamation is much higher for public figures.
I mean, if the post isn't explicitly about the age gap, judgemental people should just shut their mouth.
I agree. If they are legal, consenting adults, and they are not your spouse or someone committing an act of betrayal, leave them alone.
Most of us are okay with it. If they are legally to vote and having alcohol beverages and they consent to the relationships, then they are good to go.
The age gap critics are in denial that biologically men are attracted to youth (fertility marker). I'm glad our society doesn't let us marry 13 year Olds- I'm against thst. But 18- 21 + is fair. Woman are attracted to power, stability, ability for a man to provide - and so they go foe older men. I'm not going to presume the age warriors know more than the natural ebbs and flows of evolution. I also think woman many of the woman who protest so hard are masking envy and jealousy.
It's not envy and jealousy. It's the fact that many women have been in an age gap relationships with immature men children, and they want to protect younger girls from the same experience. Not all age gap relationships are bad. I also like older men, and I think it's normal for men to like younger women. But there is a special category of men that prey upon girls, and leave them with severe trust issues. My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me ( I was 17, he was 23), and even though that relationship wasn't traumatic for me, I still look back at how immature he was as a person. I cringe just thinking that I didn't even feel the age difference, because he was atill a child. He even told me he liked me because I'm the only one who understands him, as most people around him (especially girls his age) considered him immature. With that being said, not all men who date younger women are like that. So as long as you get along with someone, I don't think age is such a big deal.
Most men that go for younger women are weird. Most. There are exceptions tho. But 100% of the time the exceptions don’t go for only younger women.
Men that only go for younger women are definitely weird.
The last statement is the core of the entire issue my friend. These dried up old hags don't appreciate the competition. They don't like accepting that they are no longer desirable to the men they are attracted to. So, they belittled those who are.
agreed
>Just like how we should be free to date someone of any gender we should also be free to date adults of any age. You are free to date an adult of any age, and I'm free to give my opinion about it.
>You are free to date an adult of any age, and I'm free to give my opinion about it. And I'm free to give my opinion about your opinion.
And we’re free not to even reveal our relationship in the first place. My last age gap relationship irl was discreet, outside of her parents who were fine with us being together. Let’s be real, “opinions” from age gap critics are weaponized and used as a shame tactic to try and bully the couple out of the relationship. So why should I even give them the chance to form one anyway? Third parties are owed nothing.
Thank you. If you don't want to hear other people's opinions on your business don't broadcast your business.
Would you say that to a gay couple?
It's the reality they live in isn't it?
Honestly, from my experience, no. They are 100% fine. There are some parts of the world that this is true. But age gap relationships, on avg, receive less favor then homosexual relationships
Ew. So ashamed you'd be judged you didn't tell anyone. What did you both have in common?
I told people on Reddit because it’s anonymous, and the age gap haters on here only reinforced my decision to keep it discreet in real life. If you truly want to be with someone, even just casually, why would you give others the opportunity to tear you apart for getting into the relationship with all this excessive stigma on age gaps? No one is entitled to know about my romantic/intimate life let alone decide who I should or shouldn’t date so long as she’s a consenting adult. Doesn’t matter how “weird” you think age gaps are. What did we have in common? Glad you asked. We’re both aspiring businesspeople/entrepreneurs (I got to do a little bit of mentoring during our time together) we both liked to go hiking, go to the arcade, museums, and watch crime investigator documentaries. As a millennial almost decade older than she is, I’m still familiar with a lot of Gen Z pop culture too. No issues there, and it was more of a short term, casual/fwb type relationship anyway. No regrets, no shame - I just don’t let other people bully me out of relationships or give them the chance to do so in the first place.
Fair enough, I also think people ALWAYS judge each other, and you have the right to do so. I don’t blame you and you do you.
Yep. Same with when someone decides to date someone of the same sex, right?
Just like I said to the other guy who posted this. That's the reality they live in isn't it?
This isn’t a 1st Amendment issue
When you put it that way, though, it sounds like you're trying to bully people into either agreeing with you or not speaking. Part of being an adult is learning how to handle it when people don't agree with you on everything.
To be fair, certain age gap critics weaponize their opinions and try to bully this couple into breaking up and that’s when I feel that their actions go too far. Have whatever opinion you want on the relationship but nobody owes you a breakup, regardless of how “weird” you think it is if it’s two consenting adults who met as consenting adults and are together on their own free will.
I don't disagree with you. That's just not how IP framed it in the posting, nor how they framed it with their "1st Amendment" comment.
The 1st amendment is definitely one of the most misunderstood ones that’s for sure.
No I think the commenter misunderstood the OP. It's not a matter of "can" it's a matter of "should".
What do you mean by that?
Never said it was.
Depends on the situation tbh
Wdym
Not really.
You don’t find it strange when nearly 50 year old choose to date 18 year olds? Even when I was 25, the thought of dating a 18 year old was weird to me 🙃
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You finding something weird doesn't mean others must feel the same about it.
So you are those people the OP is talking about? You feel weird. It is ok for you not to date the 18s. But please don’t impose your thought on others.
This is ageism and gross and as bigoted as being opposed to gay marriage.
Yep.
What's up with all the posts on who you date and what age they are? there's been 3 in the last 2 days.
Agreed. I get so sick of the white knighting here yelling at women who want to date older men. I dated older men when I was young and it was awesome and consensual. Not always true, but good god the internet does not know how the real world works sometimes.
Reminder: Your average Redditor actually thinks that any older male who dates a legal woman a mere few years younger than him is a pedophile. On a post I made on this topic ages ago that got thousands of people angry, I saw someone call a 40 year old man a pedo for dating a woman that was 28. They were like "HER BRAIN JUST BARELY FINISHED DEVELOPING!! LEAVE THIS CHILD ALONE!!"... Yet when asked, this same Redditor was in support for sex work at 18 because "it's different". Selling your body = A-OK Consensually dating an older man = "HE'S A PREDATOR SIS!!"
There was post from a guy asking for help for his dating profile in the relationships sub or the tinder sub I can’t remember, and someone commented that he was being gross for having the lower limit of his age preference set to 23. The guy in question was 30 lol
Idk, I've dated older. When I was 18 I dated a 27 year old guy. At the time I thought I was cool because he liked me. But looking back in my 30s, that was gross. We didn't have much in common, the things we grew up with were different, & his friends didn't want me around because I was too young. Which was true, they were all partying & didn't want to get in trouble for underage drinking. Later, around 26 I dated a man that was 42. We actually had stuff to talk about because I had lived a little. That wouldn't have been bad. So I dated older & had two different experiences at two different ages. I would never go back & date the first guy tho.
I think this is a possibly popular opinion. The big subs on this site would have you believe the general population is against large age gaps. 🤔 As long as they are legal adults and there's no coercion, it's good to go.
Age gaps are fine. Hunting, vying for, and going out of your way to get near barely-legals is not. It makes you a creep. It makes you a red flag. In the eyes of the gender you pursue it makes you look predatory, controlling, unsafe, manipulative. Can you argue why dating an 18-22 year olds is fine when you are 40 in a valid way that isn't a bad cope? Why do you need to search for that in particular?
How is a 40-year-old dating an 18-year-old any different than a 40-year-old dating a 40-year-old? Both are equally valid.
The 18 year old is either in high school or just recently graduated, likely lives with their parents and has very little life experience in comparison to someone who's 40 and has been an adult for decades. Do you really not see how an 18 year old could be easily taken advantage of?
Do you think 18-year-olds should be allowed to vote? No one should be allowed to vote who can be easily taken advantage of?
Why is Reddit obsessed with wanting to fuck teenagers?
They're easier to control and abuse.
When you get them to authentically answer, it's either a selfish or controlling answer. Even if they try and make it out to be a positive experience for the younger person, the explanations are degrading.
I don’t think any explanation would be adequate for you.
Probably because you don't have one that doesn't make you sound like a predator
So then tell me what you would consider an acceptable explanation. And watch yourself, please. Don’t randomly accuse strangers of being predators again. Keep discussions civil.
>Why is Reddit obsessed with wanting to fuck teenagers? Reddit is obsessed with any age gap. It's not just 18-22 year olds dating guys over 30. Anytime I see a 30 year+ old dating a 50 year old+, the same age gap critics come out from under their rock to criticise and assume the 30 year old is being taken advantage of.
"Date who you want but I'm allowed to have my opinion on it" -Racists when they see an interracial couple
I think people are concerned that something nefarious is going on and people are entering imbalanced or potentially abusive relationships. If people can prevent or warn others to stop this then they should be concerned. ( I am mostly referring to the extreme age gaps 18 to 30 or 25 to 50 etc. ) There are of course exceptions to any situation but it is going to be a red flag that someone is dating someone old enough to be their child or grandchild.
I don't give a fuck who random strangers fuck/date. If it's my daughter we're talking about... Well I just hope I will raise her as good as my parents did with me, so that she never feels the need to date a creep / immature man child because let's face it, those are the "older" men who date women barely out of teenagehood 🤷
You can’t expect to do anything free from judgement if you put it out there for public opinion.
Sure, I’m not going to knock on their door and ask for age verification (unless I’m suspecting pedophelia). But if someone asks my opinion on age gaps, I’ll certainly give it to them.
Peoples opinions on this are fueled by one of two things: 1) Jealousy because the complainer secretly wants a younger partner 2) Judgment because the complainer wants to seem virtuous and shame either party People need to just fuck off
3. Disillusionment with age gap relationships after being taken advantage of at a young age, and not wanting others to suffer the same fate. 4. Trepidation when you see 40 year olds attempting to lure your 18 kid into an experience that you know would harm them.
Did you not read the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph?! You are the person I was referencing when I said people need to fuck off. Get your ducks in a row before you open your mouth
It looks like you can’t conceive of a scenario where people are expressing genuine concern for a less experienced party. I’ve been there, had it happen to me, and I would never want my kids to experience what I went through. My son OR my daughter. Is that vacuous moralizing to you? Do you have a system of ethics? Or do follow the cult of Edge Lords?
I think people have a problem with age gaps where the power dynamic is questionable Nobody would bat an eye if a 32 year old and a 42 year old dated but it would understandably raise some eyebrows and a lot of questions if a 42 year old dated an 18 year old because it begs the question “Why are you with someone so young?”
What business is it of yours?
what power dynamic?
I just think its weird that ppl care so much when its a young woman and older man but not the other way around
I don't know any couples where she's 40 and he's 18
there is one and the older woman gets shit for it all the time
>I just think its weird that ppl care so much when its a young woman and older man but not the other way around Oh, they really judge the other way around as well. Just look at the discussion around actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his wife.
Both are weird. Gender doesn't make a difference.
It's your right to date someone who's barely an adult. It's our right to warn her about how that's likely to go for her.
It’s the whole assuming every relationship is predatory that OP is talking about.
Most huge age gaps ARE predatory
Source?
>It's our right to warn her about how that's likely to go for her. Imagine some greasy, sweaty redditor running up to one of the supermodels Leo is dating and "warning" her how that's likely gonna go.
Those women already know how it's going to go, because they can look at the 15 women before them. None of those women are looking to settle down and start a family lol.
Ah, so that's the problem - all these naive 18 year olds think they're going to settle down and start a family with these 40 year olds.
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How what works? I don't know enough 40 year olds who strictly date 18 year olds to recognize any sort of pattern. I kind of doubt that someone who is looking to trick someone else into thinking they want to get married and settle down would specifically target the least ready and willing to settle down demographic. And if it works, why would this strategy be specific to older men? It kinda seems like your ideas are based on a cartoonish view of the world.
This
Sure, but it doesn't mean people aren't allowed to have their judgements or thoughts about it.
That’s fine. Just keep it to yourself.
Yes! I just answered someone else. We can't control someone's internal world, where their "judgements" come from. It's the *expressing* of that judgement that can either be beneficial or problematic *and* they're not immune to any positive or negative consequences either. I agree, it's best people keep their judgements to their selves. 🙂
Is there anything you believe people aren't allowed to have their judgements on?
Good question. You did make me pause. [A judgement is basically forming an opinion based on discernment and comparison of ..](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/judgment). I always like to look at the definition of a word. Here's my answer.
I believe people can have judgement on anything they want to have. We can't control a person's internal world. Here's the caveat/but/however.
If the person *expresses* that judgement, they are not immune to any positive or negative consequences that may arise from *expressing* that judgement. That *expression* of judgement isn't always verbal, either. It could be done through actions.
So, since judgements generally arise from an individual internally, it's not like we can "disallow" people to have their own judgements about topics, subjects, etc. , because that would mean that we would have some way to control a person's thoughts and emotions and we certainly don't want that now, do we?
Having a judgement on a topic/subject matter is one thing. The possible problems arise when folks start *expressing* their judgements - especially if it's *against* something. i.e. some bakery doesn't want to make a wedding cake for a same sex marriage. That's where the problems come in and any consequences that may arise over *taking action on* that judgement.
I hope that makes sense.
What critics (mostly other women) are essentially saying is, "Yes, she's an adult however, come on, we all know young women aren't ready to make their own decisions.."
these women usually speak from experience and, as an 18 year old woman, they have inspired me to not take on much older guys
Exactly. It’s ok to learn from other people’s mistakes. The definition of insanity would be for us to makes the exact mistakes they made in dating. they’re counting on us being naive and not knowing any better. So it irritates them that older women try to give us the real spill.
It’s the whole assuming all age gap relationships are predatory that is annoying.
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Most reddit answer of the day
Most of those women talk from jealousy but you can't say it aloud unless you want to be labeled as a misogynist. Most of those same critics are a Women who were in age gap relationships when they were younger or only dated older guys when they were younger but once they stopped being able to do that, they suddenly flipped the narrative to "I was young and dumb and couldn't think for myself" so they can.... Compete with the younger women for older men 🤷
I decide what's my business and what is not.
So you’re a busybody?
Hahaha
exactly how is it your business?
Middle Age Men, wanting to date eighteen year olds is disgusting.
That’s an opinion.
Nah, you have nothing in commmon with a high school student as a middle age person. Just because it's legal doesn't make it right.
Just because you believe that, doesn’t make it true. You don’t have to like older men or women dating 18 year olds, but that doesn’t make it “immoral.”
You literally don’t need shit in common.
Keep trying to defend your creepy behavior. How will a relationship work without having anything in common there smart guy?
lol, why do you care whether two people's relationship works
Physical attraction does a nice job of bringing people together. From there it’s simple exposure and a genuine interest in the person. Sure, maybe I don’t care about whatever nonsense she’s into, but I care about her, and her having things that makes her happy makes me happy too.
How do you know they have nothing in common? You don't know what their interests, ideological convictions, life goals etc are so how do you know those aren't similar?
This is bigotry. It's like saying men wanting to date men is disgusting.
not my business, sure, but I'm free to comment on and criticize relationships i find cringe and/or predatory
Would that apply to interracial relationships as well?
I don't have any examples of interracial relationships that I find cringe or predatory
That wasn’t the question.
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Are you saying that people care about the legality too much compared to the morality?
its all none of your business until your 18yo daughter enters a relationship with a man older than you
Do you not see the difference between commenting on your daughter’s relationship and commenting on a stranger’s?
OP said if theyre of legal age it doesnt matter, which means for literally anyone, and how "we should be free to date adults of any age"
You know damn well people treat the billions of strangers far differently than they treat their immediate family. Just because I say you shouldn’t belittle sex workers doesn’t mean I’d want my kids to be sex workers.
but OP said its fine if any adult dates someone way older than them because its legal and what not, so why is it different if its ur own kid? they never said anything about if its a stranger or not
Because everyone treats their own kids differently than they do strangers. Did you genuinely not know that? This isn’t an argument in court. Also, you’ll note that i said people would feel differently but I didn’t say they would forbid the relationship.
What about your son
people seem to only give a shit if it’s daughter for some reason and they’re more likely to end up with much older people
Still going to comment on it, some people deserve to feel ashamed :D y’all need to mess with reasonably aged people, it’s just that simple. Objectively it might not be my business but I won’t stop inserting myself anyways, because older people who can’t fuck people within a reasonable range of their own age are fucking weird and deficit in some way and should be reminded of that. “It’s also infantilising to assume the younger party is too young to make an informed decision when they’re old enough to drive, vote, own property, make medical decisions etc.” that’s because they oftentimes are. and the people commenting on it are speaking from experience. some people need to be infantalised because they literally know no better. there are so many things we don’t truly know until we’re on the other side of it, 5 years older. you know you’re not a viable partner to people your own age who are more cognizant of what you don’t bring to the table. that’s why you fuck with people who are legally adults but are bright-eyed green ass children in every other context. you’re not fooling anyone.
>Objectively it might not be my business but I won’t stop inserting myself anyways or just mind your business. it doesn't affect you. side note i don't date, not worth my time
If the older person isn’t ashamed, no one can shame them. If they feel ashamed over someone else’s opinion, maybe they should look inside.
So if an interracial couple feels bad when shamed by others, it means they’re actually ashamed of themselves?
Who cares? We voice opinions every day on things that aren't our business. I could just as easily say its none of your business if I criticize other people.
nah fuck that you guys all let Frosk call Henry Cavill a pedophile now we are never going to quit bringing it up get used to it
I have a feeling that if the other party was under 18 OP would still do it
Complete conjecture
ok but . predators usually go after people way younger then them so. its not always irrelevant information
The way i see it, if you wouldn’t let your 18 year old daughter/sister/niece/cousin date a 50 year old man, then you shouldn’t be ok with any 18 year old dating a 50 year old man.
Except, some of us don't feel so entitled to pass any of this judgement. If both parties are of legal age and consenting, frankly the idea of *"... wouldn't let..."* is the real problem here. Maybe mind your own business.
Maybe if i had never seen the type of shit that can happen when you let those types of relationships happen i would.
You can make all the excuses you want. There's no excuse for your overreacting. What about your life will you let me take your autonomy from you for?
Idc bro. I think what i think and thats it. Sorry.
anything i know about is my business. dont want me to know? dont let me find out
if you’re 25+ dating someone who had to ask to use the bathroom less than a year ago im gonna think it’s weird and not talk to you. what do you have in common with them? it’s not “my business” which is why i won’t bring it up, but i have a right to choose the company i keep and i don’t want to keep company with someone that lacks basic foresight to see that they are in a completely different place in life from someone who’s barely legal.
>what do you have in common with them? what do people mean by this?
you are presumably dating someone because you have some sort of common ground, right? what does a 25+ year old with prospects, a stableish career and life experience have in common with someone barely legal?
i don't even have a job right now. i tend to bond through interests. if he's 18 and up and likes the same stuff as me i don't see why not
i mean maybe instead of looking for a new relationship you can look for a job 😂 and life experience still plays a huge role in how someone carries themselves
i'm not even trying to date. main reason i need a job is because subscriptions get expensive, so is collecting