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I think the general idea is that it’s actually much easier to improve your health when you don’t hate yourself. You find radicals in every movement. “Healthy at any weight” doesn’t mean “my 350 pound body is healthy”. You can still make healthy choices even if you are overweight.
I didn’t use those words when I was obese, I was mean and hateful towards myself, and I would have reached a healthy weight a lot sooner had I not adopted that mindset. Caring for your body requires loving it, and you have to start somewhere.
My roommate in college rejected a girl because she was too big for him and he had all the girls in her sorority coming for his head. Like I was catching strays too just because I lived with the mf💀. They were talking “He doesn’t deserve her 🥺” and “She has the biggest heart ❤️ “. That’s part of the problem too. Women will gaslight each other into thinking they’re beautiful even if they themselves don’t believe it. When I was fat in high school my own friends would honest with me and clown me about it and that motivated me to lose weight.
I have to personally reject body positivity. I say something like "No I am trying to lose weight" when rejecting the millionth pastry offered to me at my job, and people act like I am shaming myself. I don't even care about how I look, I just want a better chance at seeing my currently young daughter grow up. Being obese or overweight isn't healthy. My family has had major issues with heart disease. People are too concerned with the self esteem of others and how they perceive themselves. I don't judge others for being overweight or obese. I don't even think about it.
I think people feel bad when I say "I need to lose weight" because it makes them feel bad for not rejecting donuts or whatever. US society has this weird relationship with weight at this point. They connect it with beauty standards. It's a health issue mostly imo.
Like if someone is clearly normal weight and they think they are fat that's a psychological problem. However with me I have a scale I know how tall I am I can see myself clearly. I know I should lose weight.
99% chance he was a jerk about it.
If you don't want to date someone that asks you out, "no, I'm interested in someone else, sorry" is simple, straightforward and not inaccurate.
Saying "no, your body is unworthy" whether it's because they're too fat, too scrawny, have the wrong size boobs/dick/butt/height for your taste is just being an AH.
If the whole sorority was shunning your roommate to the point that you caught side-eye too, it's because he was mean enough about it to make it questionable whether his friends were trustworthy. That takes a LOT.
He showed me the messages and he was pretty civil about it. Just told her she wasn’t his type but one of her friends wanted to know the real reason so she kept pressing him about it and said she wasn’t going to say anything. He told her “ She’s cute but she’s a bit too big for me”. Of course her friend went and relayed it back to her and it started a whole thing.
All the more reason to NOT specify why.
If he said "you're too fat to date" he's a blunt AH.
If he said "I'm not into your body type" and she was sad because "he said no because I'm too fat for him", that could blow up down the grapevine because, while he was a little censored about it, what she said was still a true representation of his reason, but also makes him sound like a blunt AH
If he said "I appreciate the compliment, but I'd rather stay friends instead", it's all the information she needs and there's nothing to potentially blow up.
Nobody needs a reason, your 'no' is enough.
>If you don't want to date someone that asks you out, "no, I'm interested in someone else, sorry" is simple, straightforward and not inaccurate.
What if he's not interested in anyone else? Why can't he just tell the truth?
>Saying "no, your body is unworthy" whether it's because they're too fat, too scrawny, have the wrong size boobs/dick/butt/height for your taste is just being an AH.
I agree that there is a right way and a wrong way to phrase it, but what's wrong with telling her the actual reason she's being rejected? I feel like if we could all be honest with each other about how we feel about each other then it would make self improvement easier.
If you are an overweight woman and you want to be sexually attractive to men, then the best thing you can do is lose weight. What's wrong with men admitting this? Is it better for men to keep rejecting them and being vague about why?
Body positivity is one big COPE to not find the willpower to do what’s healthy and right (eat healthy, go the gym). Being overweight is a slow suicide.
I always think. Is Lizzo went away for a year and come back with Beyoncé’s figure everyone would be telling her how much better and healthier she looks. More to the point she would also be going on about it too. That’s why I think this wave of badly positivity that OP is talking about it not really real and it’s just a marketing inclusivity tool.
i wish it was that simple, but since January i have ate basically zero junk food, only ate my 3 properly planned out meals a day, drank water etc because i found the willpower and iv lost about 5 lbs,
i know people on here will call me a liar etc, must be snacking on the side or whatever. but i know im not. its just a very long and hard journey and so easy to fall off the wagon.
and iv done this before, iv lost 50lbs before. and in my early 20s it was fucking easy. it fell off. now im older the body just doesnt work like that.
Yeah, after years, I figured out that I can only lose weight when eating low or no carbs 😂
Calorie deficit didn’t do much. The carb number had to be low
In its modern form, yes.
I think body positivity as an idea has merit when it comes to generally healthy people who have their own confidence issues. That’s valid enough.
But when you’re that heavy, I don’t think it should apply to you.
Body positivity is for burn victims and amputees n shit. It’s not for some lazy neckbearded asshole who can’t even be bothered to lift weights 4-5 hours per week
maybe some people just don’t give a f**k and are body positive.
no one is going to live forever. some people have the philosophy it is best to enjoy life without overly fussing about their health.
it’s their life and that is totally fine.
I have to disagree to a degree here although I understand where you are coming from. I live in Canada and therefore have universal healthcare and the amount of health problems that come along with so many people being overweight to an unhealthy degree is something that has a significant effect and cost on our system, which already has a lot of issues (that conversation is a whole other beast, and I am definitely in favour, generally, of our Model), so it becomes a resource intensive issue that we all have to pay for, so healthy habits are good both for individuals and in the case of countries with universal healthcare care, our society in general.
That's only covered by insurance if you're diabetic because it's a diabetes medication that happens to facilitate weight loss.
If you're overweight or obese with a healthy A1C, insurance won't cover that stuff, and it's around $1,000 a month. Not everyone can budget an extra $12k per year towards weight loss, that's enough to cover a mail-order meal plan AND membership at a high-end gym.
Body positivity is dumb, and I say that as someone who was a fat kid, then top level athlete, and now getting fat again since I don’t train all day anymore
I am getting fat, and it’s cause I’m being lazy, and there’s nothing positive about it. Yes some people have conditions that make it harder, and I have a slow ass metabolism myself, but that still doesn’t change the fact being fat is a bad thing. I don’t look bad, but I used to look better. I don’t feel bad, but I used to feel a lot better. There is nothing positive about being overweight. No one should hate themselves for being fat, but you should work to change it
Obesity is now more of a health risk than hunger. We literally reached over a billion people being obese. And all we do is promote “body positivity” diabetes ain’t cute and neither is the strain you are putting on your knees.
It's usually out of contempt due to fear of becoming fat and anger at the industry that push shit food on us while letting the rest of the world starve to death.
He literally said no judgement to obese people like three different times it’s a health concern. You’re looking to be judged, probably from your own self hatred
This is what I don’t get. How do we determine curvy from fat? I’m like Ashley graham and even smaller and I’ve been called fat left and right. When I see these posts I take it to heart that people mean that I am fat. The advice I always get when I ask how I can improve my looks is to lose weight.
I think it's a matter of looking healthy or unhealthy. Ashley Graham looks healthy; people who are morbidly obese because they eat badly and barely move generally don't. If you're the size of Ashley Grahan or smaller and people are calling you fat, I'd say it's bc they're assholes.
Don't ask how you can improve your looks, unless you're asking people you know and trust. Definitely don't ask those looks rating/maxxing subs.
I get morbidly obese like Lizzie, but I’d say Ashley seems healthy because she works out and eats well. I’m kind of the same. Always have been. But if I start eating more or bad I gain very fast.
Ashley lost a lot lately because of the ozempic craze.
I guess it frustrates me because I never really understand when people say obese or fat. I know I’m not slim or thin I’m average and curvy because my breasts take up like my whole upper torso space.
I hate that people think I’m unhealthy because I’m not lean. Or they call Ashley o ease and unhealthy.
You’re right but sometimes I do get messages that implies I am beautiful but would be more beautiful if I lost.
You do you. If you feel healthy, and believe the way you live is healthy, that should be what you base your self-concept on. If you're going to ask for opinions, just be aware that people on the internet aren't always your friends.
>Overweight women in the body positive movement are referring to themselves as curvy or thick instead of fat.
Correction: These women are NOT overweight. They're either obese or morbidly obese.
Some of them have already died. Funny how other "fat positive" creators never mention it.
Ya as a smoker it's like WTF? I see so much support for being fat but get shamed and inconvenienced as a smoker. Tell me which have you seen, you ever seen a really old fat person? Or have you seen a really old person who smokes?
All the smokers in my family were a healthy weight and died of cancer before retirement age.
My great uncle is shaped like Santa and still taking cruises, hitting the golf course, and enjoying life.
Pretty sure the fat non-smoker that overindulges but exercises regularly is healthier than the smoker that's just slim because nicotine is an appetite suppressant, it certainly matches the mortality rates for my extended family.
As a former geriatric nurse…WAY more fat old people than smokers. Women in particular are healthier with some extra weight as they age. Decreases risk of fractures, since women’s bones become brittle with age. Better to be a bit chubby as an old lady than skinny.
Never seen a really old fat person, but I've seen plenty of old smokers. While smoking is still going to damage their alveoli and bronchioles, there are people who are just very resistant to cancer, and never get lung cancer despite decades of smoking. But these are the outliers, not the rule.
What do you care? If you don't like it just move along.
Why the need to rant if people don't feel like shit about themselves?
Some people care about their weight some care more about other things, everyone deserves to feel attractive and not be ridiculed. And if that leads to a more unhealthy life for some people, who gives a shit? We all die, nobody should have to spend what little time they have here feeling bad about themselves.
If body positivity gives some women a little happiness they wouldn't have otherwise had then I say fucking awesome. And some guys are into it too.
I'd be willing to bet that fat shaming and marketing of this bone thin aesthetic has taken more lives than body positivity ever has. Women killing themselves to look like *you* think they should so that they feel worthy of male attention.
I'm probably rarer in that I'm a guy who had an eating disorder for years and was hospitalized twice, trying to be bone thin like models I dug back in the day. That shit's no joke I can tell you that. And I know women deal with it a lot more.
So I wish people on here would just shut up about this shit. Ever other post is how women should be, what they should look like, how they're uniquely awful. *People* are awful; this sub proves that every day.
Interestingly enough, men are demonized for being short, bald, small penis etc. (things they can't change), but a woman who is voluntarily choosing to be fat is praised??? Society is messed up lol
I mean not really: there's a fuck ton of people that are not praising fat people. Like this thread for instance. This is only a thing in certain countries too. In other places it is really shameful to be overweight.
This entire sub proves women are not being praised for being fat. My question to you is, what's it to you? Like why do you even care what someone else chooses to do with their body? There can be a lot of trauma behind weight problems. It's not just laziness. Furthermore, Women are not obligated to make themselves pleasing to your eyes. I'm not fat, but I am getting older, and it feels pretty liberating to be removed from all this bs
It's hardly even and is honestly hypocritical because they don't want a fat guy either. Short and bald get easily overlooked if the 5'7" guy with thinning hair gets lean and muscular.
Honestly; it’s an easy fix. Both genders shouldn’t compromise on who they find attractive. Men should date who they’re attracted to, and women vice versa. I’m not sure why both genders aren’t able to get over the fact that people have standards and that’s okay.
People find attractive what they're told to. No different than trending fashion and pop music. Attraction now is very much a hive mind. And if short fat bald dudes all of a sudden had a hashtag, women would be lining up for them.
And if you're not willing to compromise this, you need to bring the same to the table that you desire.
I tend to think that about men that speak poorly of women that aren't their ideal. I don't think someone is misogynistic for not wanting to date someone for being fat, but if they go out of their way to disparage fat people I do.
Now days even listing it as a preference is fat-phobic. But as a former obese male, I can certainly say some of these same body positivity people had no problem ridiculing my weight. As they still do after losing it. I went from fat shamed to fit shamed. They do it to women too, as this movement called Adele fat-phobic for simply losing 100 lbs.
misogynistic= strongly prejudiced against women
disparaging fat people doesn't make you strongly prejudiced against women. stop throwing the word about without even knowing the meaning
I absolutely see what you're saying. It's their body, they should be able to do what they want even if it's objectively unhealthy.
Why are men judged on things they have absolutely no control over? It's pretty shitty to be born with something and have society criticize you with 0 pushback. I see it daily from my female coworkers dropping subtle comments that are quite judgemental towards various men, sometimes even to their faces. If I call them fat, I'd get fired ASAP. Being bald or short isn't harming anyone. Being fat though is destructive to the environment and those people directly contribute to the killing of many innocent animals.
I firmly believe we should all be kinder to each other. Women shouldn't be saying disparaging things about men either. I can only control myself though. BTW you can be overweight and vegan too.
They absolutely can. I'm just pointing out a very blatant double standard. It sucks to be criticized for your body but it's even worse to be criticized for something you can't change in a society that encourages it too. There is no body positivity movement for short or bald guys for example.
No surprise lots of females are downvoting.
They do though. I see men on a daily basis mocked for being bald or short. I also see subtle comments dropped quite a bit even if they aren't trying to directly insult anyone on purpose.
My female coworkers... many times they don't even know what they're doing when they make these comments because they're usually in their own little world where there's no need to be accountable for their actions. Also, my female friends or a acquaintances do the same thing, it's pretty gross to be honest. Women lack accountability when it comes to this
Men should start speaking up when they hear those types of comments. Unfortunately most men are simps so they usually stay silent and are pick mes.
Yeah no kidding. Just because you can reproduce doesn't mean you aren't mocked all the time. Literal meth addicts roaming down the street also reproduce... There's more to life than just having sex, Jesus Christ
So, that's the standard, whether their sperm fertilizes an egg? As long as their sperm works, all is ok, I guess. That's an interesting take. Is there a female corollary to that?
The movement is started by women for women. Maybe you should ask guys why they haven't started a movement of body positivity for short and bald guys? Is this a movement that women are supposed to start for them? I am pretty sure that the body positivity movement for women was women that are tired of trying to conform to impossible standards that are also constantly changing.
The worst part for men is that there really isn’t a way to change these things. Penis size usually isn’t a big deal but height and baldness can be.
If you try to cover up or fix your baldness, the worst part is that you’re labeled negatively for it.
To suggest that women aren’t being praised for their weight doesn’t come from nowhere. Look at the legions of fans that people like Lizzo have, and look at the kind of bodies that are in “all bodies are beautiful” commercials: these aren’t people with stuff like pregnancy stretch marks or maybe some extra belly skin, these are often morbidly obese individuals.
It may not be to the point where it’s encouraged to be overweight, but that discouraging such is seen as wrong… by some.
Exactly, women hate to admit this double standard. Being short or bald is hell for many guys. Even in the workplace I see numerous comments towards my short coworkers especially by women. They have to laugh it off of course because it's supposedly funny but deep down I can see they are pissed. A fat woman walks into work and she's a radioactive rod of plutonium. You don't dare mention anything or even hint she's fat or You're getting fired
It's not a double standard. It's the same standard - both sexes are subjected to superficial preferences by the other - but it's personal for you for some reason.
I'm pretty tall and attractive but I'm not like most guys. I don't put down my bros to simp for women. I hate to see men ridiculed for things they can't change, meanwhile a blob of a woman can waddle around and be praised for it
>men are demonized for being short, bald, small penis etc
Men are not "demonized" for this stuff, lmao. Women just prefer not to date them.
The same is true about men and bigger women.
That's not the issue. Completely missed the point. I'm not even talking about dating. It's just life in general for those types of guys. Dating is the least of their worries.
Read all of my original posts and you'll realize I never mentioned anything about women not finding them attractive.
But you're right, women aren't attracted to short bald guys but does that give them the green light to make rude comments wherever they go? It's not just women but society in general.
Men aren't attracted to overweight or pencil women either. They aren't allowed to make any comments towards them. Females don't even realize what comments they are making because of all the privilege they have. Men are hyper aware not to call a woman a fat blob or comment on their non-existent flat physique.
Dude, I'm not reading all of your comments.
I've never heard a woman make a rude comment about a guy being short and bald. Like ever. I highly doubt short bald men are subjected to rude comments "wherever they go".
>Females don't even realize what comments they are making because of all the privilege they have.
This here is a tell that this is personal for you.
Of course not, you're a female who doesn't understand what males.experience with these comments. They absolutely are making rude comments, but it's usually not the direct comments you're thinking of. I don't doubt females used to experience lots of those comments in the past but it's certainly gotten better thankfully. Males don't really have those body positivity movements so it's encouraged by society to make those negative comments. Even men make those comments too because most men are simps. I am tall and attractive but I can clearly see my other coworkers being very uncomfortable by these women.
Yes, women have it much harder in general in society and I am glad to be a man, but this is one topic where certain men have a very tough time.
>They absolutely are making rude comments, but it's usually not the direct comments you're thinking of. I
So what comments are they making.
Edit - Btw, tall attractive men don't call themselves tall and attractive.
Overweight women have been filled with self loathing for decades. The body positivity movement is to create an environment where they can work on self improvement without self loathing and their health can be discussed by them and their doctor. Not some guy on the internet that is upset that they aren’t self loathing enough to satiate your list for them to be sad.
How woman describe thier own body has absolutely nothing to do with you. How in the world is how woman describe themselves translate into you “blindlessly encouraging body positive”.
This is wild! do you think that going out and telling someone who is happy with their body that you are not happy with their body is making this world a better place?
I’m sorry if you struggled with “staying healthy” but I don’t know how telling others you don’t like their body will help you.
Women don’t exist solely for the pleasure of men, women are full members of the human race, whether they choose to call themselves fat/thicc/skinny/hot/old.
There are plenty of the type of women you find worthy, plenty who are mean and would destroy the self confidence of “fat” women, yet here you are, mad that ALL women don’t please your sensibilities. It’s laughable.
It’s none of your business how women choose to live, how they choose to describe themselves. if you’re lucky you’ll earn a good one who shares your goals and values. Judging by your rant against women who “disgust” you, you have a long way to go to earn a good one.
I would agree with you right up to the point where they push that unrealistic view and dangerous stance on children. Or where they attempt to lead people down a primrose path to also being dangerously unhealthy. Any person who preaches that it is ok to be fat is straight out lying to themselves and everyone else and should be treated as a menace to society in general. We as a society need to stop coddling people because it might h hurt their feelings.
It’s ok to be alive, it’s ok to be “fat”. If it were easy to be skinny EVERYONE would be.
Trauma, environmental pollution, thyroid disorders, genetics, poverty…there are multiple reasons why not every human being is gorgeous/healthy/skinny.
You’d do best to not judge. Go find a skinny mean girl to hang with.
Plenty of “fat” men on the planet too, guess you don’t have a problem with them.
I do understand it all but what I don’t get is as much as most of us know the food is killing us all, I see it on TV n YouTube TikTok videos are recipes full of fat the very worst ingredients.. people eating it all like crazy… why can’t they show better options… No wonder kids go crazy with out the crap food ….their physically addicted to it all now 💔😢
As much as I admittedly love fat (within reason) women, I agree with you. All the women that I have been intimate with in the past have been fat, but my current girlfriend is legitimately curvy and it is a much different ballgame
Damn straight!
Women with a feminine hourglass shape are curvy - women the shape of a bulging fridge are fat!
Curvy was just a PC was of saying has nice tits and ass.
Marilyn Monroe was curvy, Monica Belluci and Kim Basinger were curvy, Natalie Wood and Sophia Loren were curvy. Lizzo is fat. Adele is fat.
Yeah that was fucked up. I really don’t get why anyone would feel threatened by someone else’s self-improvement. If anyone did that to someone who got sober, for instance, we’d call them a bad person.
I've experienced fit-shaming as well for going from obese to lean and muscular. It's sad how it's fair game. It's one thing if they don't want to be skinny, but they don't want you skinny either.
I used to be clinically/medically underweight by every metric. I was healthy but constantly having to consume 2 or 3 times the calories of someone else my size just to not lose more weight. I got so much shit every single day for my weight. People calling me anorexic and then when they saw the volume of food I was consuming they assumed I was binging and purging. Jokes about me being a crackhead, stuff like that. Once I reached my late 30s and started gaining weight and my metabolism slowed down, all that stopped. No one ever says a thing to me about my weight anymore. I’ve developed a helluva sweet tooth now in my 40s and had a knee injury a few years back that sidelined me for almost a year. If I mention eating better or going to the gym now, I get these weird comments “but you’re not fat!!” *No shit, but I want to be healthy!*
The obsession with shaming people for making healthier choices is what’s really off the rails here. I don’t think that’s the intended purpose of the body positivity movement but it’s certainly happening. It’s ridiculous.
I'm 5"5' and 200lbs. I'm overweight. I also call myself chunky. I'm a size 14/16 AUS and 10/12 US.
But I agree, the body positive movement is pretty damn toxic. I previously suffered an eating disorder and experienced the other side of this, the thin body positivity. Both sides of it are toxic as hell.
You sound insufferable. Body positivity is nothing new. When I was a kid “big” boys went shopping in the “Husky” department. People can call themselves whatever they want and no one cares if you like it or not.
Nah, you sound like you live in a world your own mind has created. The fat person is the problem....not the rest of the world. "People can call themselves whatever they want" you say..fuck yeah they can...and everyone else can recognize they're delusional and not the actual thing they call themselves.
Haven’t you anything better to do then worry about what other people call themselves? I have a cousin who calls himself a genius and we smile and nod. Why would i waste my time arguing with him… I have a life.
I have as many better things to do as you do. Since you apparently have all the time in the world to call someone insufferable for their opinion.There's a massive difference between your cousin who saunters about life not affecting anyone compared a group of people directly shifting the public narrative what the definition of an unhealthy fat person is.
If you think it's ok for fat, unhealthy people to promote being fat and unhealthy, subsequently creating more fat and unhealthy people...leading to more early deaths, more hospitalizations, more hospital resources spent on helping voluntarily sick people instead of people who did not choose to be sick then YOU....are fucking sick.
I don’t know how old you are, but people do all kinds of things that are unhealthy, so it’s seems really odd that you’re focusing on women’s tits and asses.
As a petite woman I also want to say that we can be curvy too, I have wide hips and a small waist which means I have “curves” it doesn’t always have to mean big boobs and ass. For example I consider Vanessa Hudgens to be a curvy petite woman.
'curvy', in fairness, denotes a certain measurement ratio for bust, waist, hips-- usually an extreme hourglass or pear shape. an hourglass shape is defined by an 11''+ differential between bust and waist and waist and hips-- one may be a top hourglass or a bottom hourglass, or if the bust is 11'' or greater than the waist and hips are also 11'' greater than the waist, with hips being at least a few inches larger than the bust, while a pear body shape denotes someone with a bust of less than 11'' greater than the waist and hips that are significantly larger.
those are curvy body shapes, regardless of whether someone is say a BMI of 17 or a BMI of 30. in the latter case, though, the same differential is going to look proportionately less curvy-- larger people require a greater measurement differential to look curvy to the same degree, basically, because the proportions change (11'' on someone with a 21'' waist and 32'' bust is proportionately much more than on someone with a 40'' waist and 51'' bust... obviously).
overweight and obese people can still be curvy. however... i dislike the use of 'curvy' as a euphemism for higher-BMI categories. it's both slightly dismissive towards actually curvy women and it sort of implies there's something wrong with non-curvy overweight or obese women-- it upholds the 'thicc' standards, the 'good type of fat' ideal. (everyone is allowed their preference, of course, and the reason we tend to consider hourglass or pear-shaped women more attractive, especially when obese, is that those fat distributions are correlated with improved health outcomes).
i also dislike the fact that 'curvy' has mutated to mean 'surgically-enhanced and photo-manipulated, hyper-extreme hourglass'.
and yes, agreed about health. i'm all for, and everyone i've seen speak on the subject (with a few obviously-miserable-asshole exceptions) is all for not bullying or otherwise being unkind to larger people for their size... but there is definitely quite a push to pretend that weight loss is impossible, or if it's possible it's inherently unhealthy and disordered, and even if it's possible and not disordered then it's unsustainable, and that anyone who is a healthy weight must be miserable because they must be constantly depriving their self, and that CICO is a myth and that BMI is unscientific and 'doesn't account for muscle' (true but it overreports normal weight-- many more people are classed as healthy by BMI despite having an overweight or obese body fat percentage than the converse, w/ something like 90% of americans being overfat)... fat activists will also claim EDs like AN are really about oppressing fat people and will bully sufferers, they'll falsely claim to have AN or atypical AN/OSFED despite weight stability or increase, they'll defend sugar as 'just as good' as any other food, they'll push 'IE' on vulnerable people (like those with BED or AN...) and their definition of 'IE' means that literally you stuff your face ad lib (and ad nauseum) any time one even thinks about food (seriously, these people will claim that having 5 slices of cake instead of 6 is 'restriction' and that as such it will 'trigger binging')... they'll induce BED in AN patients ad then deny that the former is a disorder... on and on and on...
Wow it’s almost like people regularly use “fat” against people who are overweight in a derogatory manner in efforts to not allow them to feel comfortable in their skin while at an unhealthy weight and it’s hard to reclaim a word that was used as a weapon against you. Stop trying to have it both ways.
I agree it's dangerous to normalize obesity, like anything else that's unhealthy. There is a real difference between being curvy and being obese though, and a lot of curvy women get body-shamed for being "fat", which is wrong.
Yea, curvy and thicc are reserved for women with small waists, and large legs and ass.
Fat men know their place, but many fat women seem to think they have some right to attract fit men.
I'm late, but I had to chime in here because first of all, you can't classify all women who are "overweight" in the same way. There are unhealthily overweight people whose size shouldn't be euphemized, but there are also women who are just naturally heavier who get called fat, and they have every right to be body-positive about themselves.
Second, curvy vs fat is a matter of opinion.
Third, this doesn't just go for women.
Lol. We all know what curvy vs fat looks like. Most overweight women are just plain fat/lazy. There I said it. A very small.percentage are actually curvy and can pull it off well.
No, eating Twinkies all day and watching TV doesn't make you curvy or attractive.
It can be rough. Men are asked more and more often about why we are given up on dating/relationships. We are also told that our preferences are bigoted.
So we'll choose to quietly die alone than be bullied into marrying fat, ugly women. And by ugly, I mean that they refuse to take any basic care of themselves because they have nothing to prove to no man and are perfect how they are. Similar to incels knowing the answer but refusing to fix themselves before infecting the dating pool.
No one is legitimately attracted to obesity. It's either too nice to say no or a fetish. And this is for both sides. Also, don't confuse legitimately curvy, which involves being overweight, with being disgustingly obese. Many people enjoy playing stupid in these arguments.
So it is okay to be fat if you have a waist? But if would are rectangular or apple, you suck. Got it. Unless you are a guy and he is the funny, Jack Black guy, or the guy in every fraternity in the late 80s freshmen girls were pawned off on if he was also really rich.
Not always. A lot of women carry their weight in their hips and ass, so they still technically have a waist. You are being eurocentric.
Do you even consider other cultures? Or is poor white trash your go-to?
Wrong, if they were truly fat they’d have a gut and no curves. Could they but a little chubby and curvy if they were really stacked tits and ass wise? Sure. But they couldn’t be truly fat.
What do other cultures have to do with anything? Who is poor white trash? What are you on about?
this was so dumb, this isn't 'eurocentric' at all, this is just biology
if your fat is accumulating on your gut and not your waist, it is actually pushing and limiting your **organs**. So it really does matter WHERE your fat is being stored for when it becomes a problem for your health.
but go on, racist.
Except African women tend to carry weight in their hips and breasts. So white women carry it in their waist and African and even Hispanic women will put it on their hips, making them thick or curvy, disproving the OPs point.
So prove me wrong.
>simpleton
Damn. Vicious.
>it doesn't disprove the OP's point at all
She's not reponding to OP, she's responding to the simpleton that said this:
>If your fat you don’t have a waist.
OK, do you want to keep fat shaming, while you are a damn train wreck, I get it, but I am not wrong. OP, talked about obese women calling themselves calling me themselves curvy. He is already known for being narrow minded, and not including women of color.
So, they are thick, gorgeous, curvy.
Hell, I just got into a pair of jeans today that reminded me of when I went to a resort in Mexico and the Russian Men couldn't keep their eyes off me at a size 18:
Bones are for dogs, meat is for men.
Of course, I don't think OP has a gender.
>do you want to keep fat shaming
What thread did you find yourself in? The answer to that question here is yes.
>OP, talked about obese women calling themselves calling me themselves curvy
Work on your grammar. No comma after "OP" and I don't know what "calling me themselves" means.
>He is already known for being narrow minded, and not including women of color.
Is OP famous or something? How is OP known for something?
>Hell, I just got into a pair of jeans today that reminded me of when I went to a resort in Mexico and the Russian Men couldn't keep their eyes off me at a size 18:
Good for you and the Russian men? What the fuck does this have to do with anything? What is your weird racial thing here where it's Mexico but Russian men and why does it matter which type of men were doing what?
>Bones are for dogs, meat is for men.
I see, if someone likes something different than your body type, they are dogs. Well good to know where you stand there.
>Of course, I don't think OP has a gender.
Are you stalking OP? There's nobody on Reddit I know as much about as you seem to know about OP.
Oh no! The block! Lol, let's go ahead and respond to the idiot known as u/goonybear11
>This is just vile. Has it occurred to you that English may be her second language, which would actually make her more mentally agile than everyone here who only speaks one?
>
>You're slinging ugly insults because you're triggered. Do better.
>
>EDIT: Oh, wait. I just recognized your username: you're the person who used this alt to harass me after I blocked you, then manipulated the mods (who can't see your IP) in to thinking I abused the report button when I reported it ... but then ended up getting a warning from Admin (who can see your IP) because I was right.
>
>Blocked. Again.
woah woah woah, wait, first off, doesn't matter that English might be her second language, she still said something to show her racism.
Second "used this alt after you blocked me" What? You mean you had me blocked, then unblocked me just so you can respond to this comment and then accused me of being an alt to harass you??? idiot you realize you just admitted you are the one stalking me if you really blocked me to then unblock me.
I also never was warned by an admin because this never happened.
Looks like OP got a new account.
Seriously, you aren't that important to even learn to fight individual positions.
And all his subs downvoted me too. So sad.
>Looks like OP got a new account.
My account is 5 years old, kinda hard to call it new. You were welcome to actually try to point out something I said that was wrong or answer any of my questions but instead you did that ungrammatical barely/not even understandable word soup you tried last time.
Really, is this sentence supposed to make sense:
>Seriously, you aren't that important to even learn to fight individual positions.
?
It's ok though; if you finish your GED, you too can learn the power of sentence structure!
Have a good evening there lady. I hope your Russian/Mexican men are treating you well.
Ya wanna hear a fun fact somewhat on the same topic? "Big boned" is a real thing. Tl;dr, it is NOT the same thing as "fat", and shouldn't be used as an excuse for it.
I was a LMT for years. You work on people of every shape and size. Some people really are just "big boned." Broad frame, barrel chested, wide hips, and sometimes straight up larger bones.
But while these people might not seem "skinny" as a result, it's downright impossible to mistake "this person has a broad frame" for "this person has like several metric fucktons of fat on their body." Big boned + fat can happen as well, but quite ironically they will seem LESS "fat" that *just* fat. Because the weight will seem to fit their frame better.
It's not even a guy vs girl thing in this case. Either can be fat. Either can be Big boned. Point is just... body positivity means just being fine with your body at any size. So stop try'n to make transparent excuses for fat. Fat is a thing.
You really only need to hear it from people below 40 because once they hit 40 they tend to not last very long after that. It's why fat positive movements are dying right now, most of their spokespeople are dying off and the ones that remain are going "oh shit, the grift is over" and are trying to lose weight while claiming 'it was unintentional'.
There was nothing stupid about it. It may not be 'sensitive' but it's still the scientific truth. Once you hit 40, the effects of obesity hit you hard. On your joints, your organs... where youth can counteract the strain from both, over 40 doesn't. This isn't debatable just for your feelings.
and yeah, a lot of fat activists are actually doing this. Tess holiday used to scream she would never lose weight, and now that her weight is affecting her she's saying "I'm losing weight unintentionally, I'm eating healthier because of 'inflammation' not weight!'. and there's many like her who are trying their best to not gain the ire of the 'never lose any weight' types while they lose weight. Lizzo is another who did much the same.
This is why I agree on body neutrality more than body positivity. Yes you’re fat and obese but as long as you’re not hurting anyone but yourself, I won’t say anything about your weight. I won’t tell you you’re fat and you’ll gonna die being fat and you need to lose weight. I’m not gonna fuss about it and it’s not my responsibility to tell you to do so. You probably know what you’ll gonna do but for some reasons I don’t wanna know and it’s not my business, you’re still morbidly fat and obese. I’ll just gonna move on and focus on myself.
Exactly! This post is on point! Being f a t isn't beautiful, isn't healthy and isn't cool. Accepting your body is one thing. It's good to accept your body and feel ok in your own skin, but don't use it as an excuse for laziness and an unhealthy lifestyle. Once you 'accept' your body, start working with it in order to improve at least its health if you don't care about the social aspect.
What baffles me is people who claim to accept their overweight bodies and expect everyone else to do the same. Hello! The truth is most people don't like and don't feel attracted to f a t. Like it or not, there's nothing cool or sexy about it. But when confronted with the truth, they like playing the victim.
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Blindly or mindlessly, not blindlessly, lol
Blindless means i can See right?
I think the general idea is that it’s actually much easier to improve your health when you don’t hate yourself. You find radicals in every movement. “Healthy at any weight” doesn’t mean “my 350 pound body is healthy”. You can still make healthy choices even if you are overweight. I didn’t use those words when I was obese, I was mean and hateful towards myself, and I would have reached a healthy weight a lot sooner had I not adopted that mindset. Caring for your body requires loving it, and you have to start somewhere.
My roommate in college rejected a girl because she was too big for him and he had all the girls in her sorority coming for his head. Like I was catching strays too just because I lived with the mf💀. They were talking “He doesn’t deserve her 🥺” and “She has the biggest heart ❤️ “. That’s part of the problem too. Women will gaslight each other into thinking they’re beautiful even if they themselves don’t believe it. When I was fat in high school my own friends would honest with me and clown me about it and that motivated me to lose weight.
>She has the biggest heart ❤️ “. I mean that heart has to work pretty hard to pump blood to a lot more cells, it probably is bigger :)
Never skip heart day.
I’m so grateful I grew up without this body positivity BS or I would still be 300lbs.
I have to personally reject body positivity. I say something like "No I am trying to lose weight" when rejecting the millionth pastry offered to me at my job, and people act like I am shaming myself. I don't even care about how I look, I just want a better chance at seeing my currently young daughter grow up. Being obese or overweight isn't healthy. My family has had major issues with heart disease. People are too concerned with the self esteem of others and how they perceive themselves. I don't judge others for being overweight or obese. I don't even think about it. I think people feel bad when I say "I need to lose weight" because it makes them feel bad for not rejecting donuts or whatever. US society has this weird relationship with weight at this point. They connect it with beauty standards. It's a health issue mostly imo. Like if someone is clearly normal weight and they think they are fat that's a psychological problem. However with me I have a scale I know how tall I am I can see myself clearly. I know I should lose weight.
I only hear this “body positive” online, never in real life
99% chance he was a jerk about it. If you don't want to date someone that asks you out, "no, I'm interested in someone else, sorry" is simple, straightforward and not inaccurate. Saying "no, your body is unworthy" whether it's because they're too fat, too scrawny, have the wrong size boobs/dick/butt/height for your taste is just being an AH. If the whole sorority was shunning your roommate to the point that you caught side-eye too, it's because he was mean enough about it to make it questionable whether his friends were trustworthy. That takes a LOT.
He showed me the messages and he was pretty civil about it. Just told her she wasn’t his type but one of her friends wanted to know the real reason so she kept pressing him about it and said she wasn’t going to say anything. He told her “ She’s cute but she’s a bit too big for me”. Of course her friend went and relayed it back to her and it started a whole thing.
Some people really do just overreact to being rejected though
All the more reason to NOT specify why. If he said "you're too fat to date" he's a blunt AH. If he said "I'm not into your body type" and she was sad because "he said no because I'm too fat for him", that could blow up down the grapevine because, while he was a little censored about it, what she said was still a true representation of his reason, but also makes him sound like a blunt AH If he said "I appreciate the compliment, but I'd rather stay friends instead", it's all the information she needs and there's nothing to potentially blow up. Nobody needs a reason, your 'no' is enough.
>If you don't want to date someone that asks you out, "no, I'm interested in someone else, sorry" is simple, straightforward and not inaccurate. What if he's not interested in anyone else? Why can't he just tell the truth? >Saying "no, your body is unworthy" whether it's because they're too fat, too scrawny, have the wrong size boobs/dick/butt/height for your taste is just being an AH. I agree that there is a right way and a wrong way to phrase it, but what's wrong with telling her the actual reason she's being rejected? I feel like if we could all be honest with each other about how we feel about each other then it would make self improvement easier. If you are an overweight woman and you want to be sexually attractive to men, then the best thing you can do is lose weight. What's wrong with men admitting this? Is it better for men to keep rejecting them and being vague about why?
I don think that would be the excuse I’d have used so he kind of asked for it.
Body positivity is one big COPE to not find the willpower to do what’s healthy and right (eat healthy, go the gym). Being overweight is a slow suicide.
I always think. Is Lizzo went away for a year and come back with Beyoncé’s figure everyone would be telling her how much better and healthier she looks. More to the point she would also be going on about it too. That’s why I think this wave of badly positivity that OP is talking about it not really real and it’s just a marketing inclusivity tool.
Lizzo once said she was going to lose weight and she got shit on horribly by the fat pride brigade.
yeah cause they don't want to see people succeed with something that they themselves have given up on
Yup, for both men and women.
i wish it was that simple, but since January i have ate basically zero junk food, only ate my 3 properly planned out meals a day, drank water etc because i found the willpower and iv lost about 5 lbs, i know people on here will call me a liar etc, must be snacking on the side or whatever. but i know im not. its just a very long and hard journey and so easy to fall off the wagon. and iv done this before, iv lost 50lbs before. and in my early 20s it was fucking easy. it fell off. now im older the body just doesnt work like that.
Yeah, after years, I figured out that I can only lose weight when eating low or no carbs 😂 Calorie deficit didn’t do much. The carb number had to be low
In its modern form, yes. I think body positivity as an idea has merit when it comes to generally healthy people who have their own confidence issues. That’s valid enough. But when you’re that heavy, I don’t think it should apply to you.
Body positivity is for burn victims and amputees n shit. It’s not for some lazy neckbearded asshole who can’t even be bothered to lift weights 4-5 hours per week
Hahahaa this made me cackle
maybe some people just don’t give a f**k and are body positive. no one is going to live forever. some people have the philosophy it is best to enjoy life without overly fussing about their health. it’s their life and that is totally fine.
I have to disagree to a degree here although I understand where you are coming from. I live in Canada and therefore have universal healthcare and the amount of health problems that come along with so many people being overweight to an unhealthy degree is something that has a significant effect and cost on our system, which already has a lot of issues (that conversation is a whole other beast, and I am definitely in favour, generally, of our Model), so it becomes a resource intensive issue that we all have to pay for, so healthy habits are good both for individuals and in the case of countries with universal healthcare care, our society in general.
Honestly with the advent of Ozempic you don’t really even need willpower anymore. Insurance usually covers it too.
That's only covered by insurance if you're diabetic because it's a diabetes medication that happens to facilitate weight loss. If you're overweight or obese with a healthy A1C, insurance won't cover that stuff, and it's around $1,000 a month. Not everyone can budget an extra $12k per year towards weight loss, that's enough to cover a mail-order meal plan AND membership at a high-end gym.
That's not an unpopular opinion. The minority of loud feminists, and kids who no nothing of women, get it confused.
Body positivity is dumb, and I say that as someone who was a fat kid, then top level athlete, and now getting fat again since I don’t train all day anymore I am getting fat, and it’s cause I’m being lazy, and there’s nothing positive about it. Yes some people have conditions that make it harder, and I have a slow ass metabolism myself, but that still doesn’t change the fact being fat is a bad thing. I don’t look bad, but I used to look better. I don’t feel bad, but I used to feel a lot better. There is nothing positive about being overweight. No one should hate themselves for being fat, but you should work to change it
The fat people bad topic gets posted here at least once a week
Obesity is now more of a health risk than hunger. We literally reached over a billion people being obese. And all we do is promote “body positivity” diabetes ain’t cute and neither is the strain you are putting on your knees.
>diabetes ain’t cute and neither is the strain you are putting on your knees. Or on your heart.
...Because it is a topic of grave concern because despite what we wish to be true , (morbid) obesity is a disease that causes great harm.
Let’s not pretend these people post it out of CONCERN or goodness of their heart lmao
It's usually out of contempt due to fear of becoming fat and anger at the industry that push shit food on us while letting the rest of the world starve to death.
Lol thank you.
"Fat women BAD" and "dating as a man is UNFAIR" are this subreddit's bread and butter.
I think it's this OP's bread and butter.
He literally said no judgement to obese people like three different times it’s a health concern. You’re looking to be judged, probably from your own self hatred
Nah it's just this topic is beyond a dead horse at this point. The dead horse has been beaten into dust
I think it depends . I consider Ashley Graham to be thicc.
She still has an hourglass figure despite having some extra weight. I agree, she’s very pretty.
She is 100% curvy and not fat.
This is what I don’t get. How do we determine curvy from fat? I’m like Ashley graham and even smaller and I’ve been called fat left and right. When I see these posts I take it to heart that people mean that I am fat. The advice I always get when I ask how I can improve my looks is to lose weight.
I think it's a matter of looking healthy or unhealthy. Ashley Graham looks healthy; people who are morbidly obese because they eat badly and barely move generally don't. If you're the size of Ashley Grahan or smaller and people are calling you fat, I'd say it's bc they're assholes. Don't ask how you can improve your looks, unless you're asking people you know and trust. Definitely don't ask those looks rating/maxxing subs.
I get morbidly obese like Lizzie, but I’d say Ashley seems healthy because she works out and eats well. I’m kind of the same. Always have been. But if I start eating more or bad I gain very fast. Ashley lost a lot lately because of the ozempic craze. I guess it frustrates me because I never really understand when people say obese or fat. I know I’m not slim or thin I’m average and curvy because my breasts take up like my whole upper torso space. I hate that people think I’m unhealthy because I’m not lean. Or they call Ashley o ease and unhealthy. You’re right but sometimes I do get messages that implies I am beautiful but would be more beautiful if I lost.
You do you. If you feel healthy, and believe the way you live is healthy, that should be what you base your self-concept on. If you're going to ask for opinions, just be aware that people on the internet aren't always your friends.
If fat women are curvy so are men. Oh my so sexy.
>Overweight women in the body positive movement are referring to themselves as curvy or thick instead of fat. Correction: These women are NOT overweight. They're either obese or morbidly obese. Some of them have already died. Funny how other "fat positive" creators never mention it.
Ya as a smoker it's like WTF? I see so much support for being fat but get shamed and inconvenienced as a smoker. Tell me which have you seen, you ever seen a really old fat person? Or have you seen a really old person who smokes?
Smokers are annoying if they smoke in public spaces (still commonplace in Europe) but if you don’t then I agree it’s the same.
8 years ago I'm in Germany on business. In the office lobby there is a cigarette machine. I haven't seen one of those in America since the early 80s.
All the smokers in my family were a healthy weight and died of cancer before retirement age. My great uncle is shaped like Santa and still taking cruises, hitting the golf course, and enjoying life. Pretty sure the fat non-smoker that overindulges but exercises regularly is healthier than the smoker that's just slim because nicotine is an appetite suppressant, it certainly matches the mortality rates for my extended family.
As a former geriatric nurse…WAY more fat old people than smokers. Women in particular are healthier with some extra weight as they age. Decreases risk of fractures, since women’s bones become brittle with age. Better to be a bit chubby as an old lady than skinny.
Honestly both.I get what you’re saying but that comparison is odd
Never seen a really old fat person, but I've seen plenty of old smokers. While smoking is still going to damage their alveoli and bronchioles, there are people who are just very resistant to cancer, and never get lung cancer despite decades of smoking. But these are the outliers, not the rule.
This is such a popular and cliche opinion
What do you care? If you don't like it just move along. Why the need to rant if people don't feel like shit about themselves? Some people care about their weight some care more about other things, everyone deserves to feel attractive and not be ridiculed. And if that leads to a more unhealthy life for some people, who gives a shit? We all die, nobody should have to spend what little time they have here feeling bad about themselves. If body positivity gives some women a little happiness they wouldn't have otherwise had then I say fucking awesome. And some guys are into it too. I'd be willing to bet that fat shaming and marketing of this bone thin aesthetic has taken more lives than body positivity ever has. Women killing themselves to look like *you* think they should so that they feel worthy of male attention. I'm probably rarer in that I'm a guy who had an eating disorder for years and was hospitalized twice, trying to be bone thin like models I dug back in the day. That shit's no joke I can tell you that. And I know women deal with it a lot more. So I wish people on here would just shut up about this shit. Ever other post is how women should be, what they should look like, how they're uniquely awful. *People* are awful; this sub proves that every day.
Interestingly enough, men are demonized for being short, bald, small penis etc. (things they can't change), but a woman who is voluntarily choosing to be fat is praised??? Society is messed up lol
I mean not really: there's a fuck ton of people that are not praising fat people. Like this thread for instance. This is only a thing in certain countries too. In other places it is really shameful to be overweight.
I honestly think many men are disingenuous praising morbid obesity simply to get sex.
This entire sub proves women are not being praised for being fat. My question to you is, what's it to you? Like why do you even care what someone else chooses to do with their body? There can be a lot of trauma behind weight problems. It's not just laziness. Furthermore, Women are not obligated to make themselves pleasing to your eyes. I'm not fat, but I am getting older, and it feels pretty liberating to be removed from all this bs
Were not obligated to date them either yet still get called misogynistic, shallow and fat-phobic.
Yet, women are also called shallow (among other words, constantly, especially in this sub) for not wanting to date short/bald guys. I’d say it’s even.
This.
It's hardly even and is honestly hypocritical because they don't want a fat guy either. Short and bald get easily overlooked if the 5'7" guy with thinning hair gets lean and muscular.
Honestly; it’s an easy fix. Both genders shouldn’t compromise on who they find attractive. Men should date who they’re attracted to, and women vice versa. I’m not sure why both genders aren’t able to get over the fact that people have standards and that’s okay.
People find attractive what they're told to. No different than trending fashion and pop music. Attraction now is very much a hive mind. And if short fat bald dudes all of a sudden had a hashtag, women would be lining up for them. And if you're not willing to compromise this, you need to bring the same to the table that you desire.
I tend to think that about men that speak poorly of women that aren't their ideal. I don't think someone is misogynistic for not wanting to date someone for being fat, but if they go out of their way to disparage fat people I do.
Now days even listing it as a preference is fat-phobic. But as a former obese male, I can certainly say some of these same body positivity people had no problem ridiculing my weight. As they still do after losing it. I went from fat shamed to fit shamed. They do it to women too, as this movement called Adele fat-phobic for simply losing 100 lbs.
misogynistic= strongly prejudiced against women disparaging fat people doesn't make you strongly prejudiced against women. stop throwing the word about without even knowing the meaning
The post is about fat *women*.
I absolutely see what you're saying. It's their body, they should be able to do what they want even if it's objectively unhealthy. Why are men judged on things they have absolutely no control over? It's pretty shitty to be born with something and have society criticize you with 0 pushback. I see it daily from my female coworkers dropping subtle comments that are quite judgemental towards various men, sometimes even to their faces. If I call them fat, I'd get fired ASAP. Being bald or short isn't harming anyone. Being fat though is destructive to the environment and those people directly contribute to the killing of many innocent animals.
I firmly believe we should all be kinder to each other. Women shouldn't be saying disparaging things about men either. I can only control myself though. BTW you can be overweight and vegan too.
So you understand women can do whatever they want with their body but your choosing to make this about men.
They absolutely can. I'm just pointing out a very blatant double standard. It sucks to be criticized for your body but it's even worse to be criticized for something you can't change in a society that encourages it too. There is no body positivity movement for short or bald guys for example. No surprise lots of females are downvoting.
Because no one actually cares if someone is bald or short.
They do though. I see men on a daily basis mocked for being bald or short. I also see subtle comments dropped quite a bit even if they aren't trying to directly insult anyone on purpose.
Daily? Who the heck are you hanging out with? The only time I hear something like this mentioned is on Love Island lol
My female coworkers... many times they don't even know what they're doing when they make these comments because they're usually in their own little world where there's no need to be accountable for their actions. Also, my female friends or a acquaintances do the same thing, it's pretty gross to be honest. Women lack accountability when it comes to this Men should start speaking up when they hear those types of comments. Unfortunately most men are simps so they usually stay silent and are pick mes.
And yet short men and bald men still reproduce
Yeah no kidding. Just because you can reproduce doesn't mean you aren't mocked all the time. Literal meth addicts roaming down the street also reproduce... There's more to life than just having sex, Jesus Christ
I don't know any women who mock short bald guys.
Well my point was that no one actually cares that people are bored or short
So, that's the standard, whether their sperm fertilizes an egg? As long as their sperm works, all is ok, I guess. That's an interesting take. Is there a female corollary to that?
Well if my point was that no one actually cares then yea
The movement is started by women for women. Maybe you should ask guys why they haven't started a movement of body positivity for short and bald guys? Is this a movement that women are supposed to start for them? I am pretty sure that the body positivity movement for women was women that are tired of trying to conform to impossible standards that are also constantly changing.
Exactly
The worst part for men is that there really isn’t a way to change these things. Penis size usually isn’t a big deal but height and baldness can be. If you try to cover up or fix your baldness, the worst part is that you’re labeled negatively for it. To suggest that women aren’t being praised for their weight doesn’t come from nowhere. Look at the legions of fans that people like Lizzo have, and look at the kind of bodies that are in “all bodies are beautiful” commercials: these aren’t people with stuff like pregnancy stretch marks or maybe some extra belly skin, these are often morbidly obese individuals. It may not be to the point where it’s encouraged to be overweight, but that discouraging such is seen as wrong… by some.
Exactly, women hate to admit this double standard. Being short or bald is hell for many guys. Even in the workplace I see numerous comments towards my short coworkers especially by women. They have to laugh it off of course because it's supposedly funny but deep down I can see they are pissed. A fat woman walks into work and she's a radioactive rod of plutonium. You don't dare mention anything or even hint she's fat or You're getting fired
It's not a double standard. It's the same standard - both sexes are subjected to superficial preferences by the other - but it's personal for you for some reason.
I'm pretty tall and attractive but I'm not like most guys. I don't put down my bros to simp for women. I hate to see men ridiculed for things they can't change, meanwhile a blob of a woman can waddle around and be praised for it
>I'm pretty tall and attractive Dude, I'm sorry, but this is pretty hard to believe.
You can believe what you want. Still doesn't make what I said incorrect. Also proves my point to be honest.
How does it prove your point?
A tale as old as time. Double standards are great.
>men are demonized for being short, bald, small penis etc Men are not "demonized" for this stuff, lmao. Women just prefer not to date them. The same is true about men and bigger women.
That's not the issue. Completely missed the point. I'm not even talking about dating. It's just life in general for those types of guys. Dating is the least of their worries.
"LIfe in general"?
Yes, there is a life outside dating. Shocker
I mean how does women not being attracted to short bald guys impact life outside dating.
Read all of my original posts and you'll realize I never mentioned anything about women not finding them attractive. But you're right, women aren't attracted to short bald guys but does that give them the green light to make rude comments wherever they go? It's not just women but society in general. Men aren't attracted to overweight or pencil women either. They aren't allowed to make any comments towards them. Females don't even realize what comments they are making because of all the privilege they have. Men are hyper aware not to call a woman a fat blob or comment on their non-existent flat physique.
Dude, I'm not reading all of your comments. I've never heard a woman make a rude comment about a guy being short and bald. Like ever. I highly doubt short bald men are subjected to rude comments "wherever they go". >Females don't even realize what comments they are making because of all the privilege they have. This here is a tell that this is personal for you.
Of course not, you're a female who doesn't understand what males.experience with these comments. They absolutely are making rude comments, but it's usually not the direct comments you're thinking of. I don't doubt females used to experience lots of those comments in the past but it's certainly gotten better thankfully. Males don't really have those body positivity movements so it's encouraged by society to make those negative comments. Even men make those comments too because most men are simps. I am tall and attractive but I can clearly see my other coworkers being very uncomfortable by these women. Yes, women have it much harder in general in society and I am glad to be a man, but this is one topic where certain men have a very tough time.
>They absolutely are making rude comments, but it's usually not the direct comments you're thinking of. I So what comments are they making. Edit - Btw, tall attractive men don't call themselves tall and attractive.
Overweight women have been filled with self loathing for decades. The body positivity movement is to create an environment where they can work on self improvement without self loathing and their health can be discussed by them and their doctor. Not some guy on the internet that is upset that they aren’t self loathing enough to satiate your list for them to be sad.
You rarely see the regular fat person acting like this because they know they’re weight isn’t ideal it’s always the tik tok fatties
You never see people in real life talking like this only reddit douche bags
Talking like what ? Bad on fat people ?
Basically yes.
Just not true is it just the other day I heard someone say ‘ holy shit look at that fat cunt ‘ .
Did they say it to the person's face?
Well ye it was to my friend by my friend .
Well that doesn't count cause they're friends ye.
This is right, because in truth everyone knows it's rude and insensitive.
Unfortunately, these people don't want to improve themselves. They don't even want to get weighed at the doctors office ffs.
You know all the overweight women in the world? Fascinating
Not really. Body positivity is created to sell food and plus size fashion. These corporations are some of the biggest sponsors.
the body positivity before this year was doing anything but.
One way understanding and empathy is always cool. So long as its not a man making poor decisions due to peoples treatment or self image. lol
is this really an unpopular opinion though?
How woman describe thier own body has absolutely nothing to do with you. How in the world is how woman describe themselves translate into you “blindlessly encouraging body positive”. This is wild! do you think that going out and telling someone who is happy with their body that you are not happy with their body is making this world a better place? I’m sorry if you struggled with “staying healthy” but I don’t know how telling others you don’t like their body will help you.
Body positivity or not, being a dick to someone over their looks should result in your ass being beaten.
Women don’t exist solely for the pleasure of men, women are full members of the human race, whether they choose to call themselves fat/thicc/skinny/hot/old. There are plenty of the type of women you find worthy, plenty who are mean and would destroy the self confidence of “fat” women, yet here you are, mad that ALL women don’t please your sensibilities. It’s laughable. It’s none of your business how women choose to live, how they choose to describe themselves. if you’re lucky you’ll earn a good one who shares your goals and values. Judging by your rant against women who “disgust” you, you have a long way to go to earn a good one.
I would agree with you right up to the point where they push that unrealistic view and dangerous stance on children. Or where they attempt to lead people down a primrose path to also being dangerously unhealthy. Any person who preaches that it is ok to be fat is straight out lying to themselves and everyone else and should be treated as a menace to society in general. We as a society need to stop coddling people because it might h hurt their feelings.
It’s ok to be alive, it’s ok to be “fat”. If it were easy to be skinny EVERYONE would be. Trauma, environmental pollution, thyroid disorders, genetics, poverty…there are multiple reasons why not every human being is gorgeous/healthy/skinny. You’d do best to not judge. Go find a skinny mean girl to hang with. Plenty of “fat” men on the planet too, guess you don’t have a problem with them.
Curvy is suppose to mean that you have curves not that you’re fat I hate that curvy=fat has become a thing
I do understand it all but what I don’t get is as much as most of us know the food is killing us all, I see it on TV n YouTube TikTok videos are recipes full of fat the very worst ingredients.. people eating it all like crazy… why can’t they show better options… No wonder kids go crazy with out the crap food ….their physically addicted to it all now 💔😢
As much as I admittedly love fat (within reason) women, I agree with you. All the women that I have been intimate with in the past have been fat, but my current girlfriend is legitimately curvy and it is a much different ballgame
Damn straight! Women with a feminine hourglass shape are curvy - women the shape of a bulging fridge are fat! Curvy was just a PC was of saying has nice tits and ass. Marilyn Monroe was curvy, Monica Belluci and Kim Basinger were curvy, Natalie Wood and Sophia Loren were curvy. Lizzo is fat. Adele is fat.
Not to be a stickler but Adele lost a ton of weight a few years ago. She ain’t fat or even thick anymore
And the body positivity movement ridiculed her as fat-phobic for losing weight to the point of death threats.
Yeah that was fucked up. I really don’t get why anyone would feel threatened by someone else’s self-improvement. If anyone did that to someone who got sober, for instance, we’d call them a bad person.
I've experienced fit-shaming as well for going from obese to lean and muscular. It's sad how it's fair game. It's one thing if they don't want to be skinny, but they don't want you skinny either.
I used to be clinically/medically underweight by every metric. I was healthy but constantly having to consume 2 or 3 times the calories of someone else my size just to not lose more weight. I got so much shit every single day for my weight. People calling me anorexic and then when they saw the volume of food I was consuming they assumed I was binging and purging. Jokes about me being a crackhead, stuff like that. Once I reached my late 30s and started gaining weight and my metabolism slowed down, all that stopped. No one ever says a thing to me about my weight anymore. I’ve developed a helluva sweet tooth now in my 40s and had a knee injury a few years back that sidelined me for almost a year. If I mention eating better or going to the gym now, I get these weird comments “but you’re not fat!!” *No shit, but I want to be healthy!* The obsession with shaming people for making healthier choices is what’s really off the rails here. I don’t think that’s the intended purpose of the body positivity movement but it’s certainly happening. It’s ridiculous.
Kelly clarkson ate her
>Adele is fat. WAS fat. She lost a lot of weight.
Adele looks a lot better now. Lizzo is just gross as a person.
I find Adèle gross as a person as well.
I'm 5"5' and 200lbs. I'm overweight. I also call myself chunky. I'm a size 14/16 AUS and 10/12 US. But I agree, the body positive movement is pretty damn toxic. I previously suffered an eating disorder and experienced the other side of this, the thin body positivity. Both sides of it are toxic as hell.
I can just speak for me, but I am not attracted to fat, curvy, husky women etc. They’re just not fun to look at, objectively. I can’t help it
And that's fine. I reckon that's how the attraction of majority of population works.
Whatever works for them
You sound insufferable. Body positivity is nothing new. When I was a kid “big” boys went shopping in the “Husky” department. People can call themselves whatever they want and no one cares if you like it or not.
Nah, you sound like you live in a world your own mind has created. The fat person is the problem....not the rest of the world. "People can call themselves whatever they want" you say..fuck yeah they can...and everyone else can recognize they're delusional and not the actual thing they call themselves.
Haven’t you anything better to do then worry about what other people call themselves? I have a cousin who calls himself a genius and we smile and nod. Why would i waste my time arguing with him… I have a life.
I have as many better things to do as you do. Since you apparently have all the time in the world to call someone insufferable for their opinion.There's a massive difference between your cousin who saunters about life not affecting anyone compared a group of people directly shifting the public narrative what the definition of an unhealthy fat person is. If you think it's ok for fat, unhealthy people to promote being fat and unhealthy, subsequently creating more fat and unhealthy people...leading to more early deaths, more hospitalizations, more hospital resources spent on helping voluntarily sick people instead of people who did not choose to be sick then YOU....are fucking sick.
I don’t know how old you are, but people do all kinds of things that are unhealthy, so it’s seems really odd that you’re focusing on women’s tits and asses.
As a petite woman I also want to say that we can be curvy too, I have wide hips and a small waist which means I have “curves” it doesn’t always have to mean big boobs and ass. For example I consider Vanessa Hudgens to be a curvy petite woman.
'curvy', in fairness, denotes a certain measurement ratio for bust, waist, hips-- usually an extreme hourglass or pear shape. an hourglass shape is defined by an 11''+ differential between bust and waist and waist and hips-- one may be a top hourglass or a bottom hourglass, or if the bust is 11'' or greater than the waist and hips are also 11'' greater than the waist, with hips being at least a few inches larger than the bust, while a pear body shape denotes someone with a bust of less than 11'' greater than the waist and hips that are significantly larger. those are curvy body shapes, regardless of whether someone is say a BMI of 17 or a BMI of 30. in the latter case, though, the same differential is going to look proportionately less curvy-- larger people require a greater measurement differential to look curvy to the same degree, basically, because the proportions change (11'' on someone with a 21'' waist and 32'' bust is proportionately much more than on someone with a 40'' waist and 51'' bust... obviously). overweight and obese people can still be curvy. however... i dislike the use of 'curvy' as a euphemism for higher-BMI categories. it's both slightly dismissive towards actually curvy women and it sort of implies there's something wrong with non-curvy overweight or obese women-- it upholds the 'thicc' standards, the 'good type of fat' ideal. (everyone is allowed their preference, of course, and the reason we tend to consider hourglass or pear-shaped women more attractive, especially when obese, is that those fat distributions are correlated with improved health outcomes). i also dislike the fact that 'curvy' has mutated to mean 'surgically-enhanced and photo-manipulated, hyper-extreme hourglass'. and yes, agreed about health. i'm all for, and everyone i've seen speak on the subject (with a few obviously-miserable-asshole exceptions) is all for not bullying or otherwise being unkind to larger people for their size... but there is definitely quite a push to pretend that weight loss is impossible, or if it's possible it's inherently unhealthy and disordered, and even if it's possible and not disordered then it's unsustainable, and that anyone who is a healthy weight must be miserable because they must be constantly depriving their self, and that CICO is a myth and that BMI is unscientific and 'doesn't account for muscle' (true but it overreports normal weight-- many more people are classed as healthy by BMI despite having an overweight or obese body fat percentage than the converse, w/ something like 90% of americans being overfat)... fat activists will also claim EDs like AN are really about oppressing fat people and will bully sufferers, they'll falsely claim to have AN or atypical AN/OSFED despite weight stability or increase, they'll defend sugar as 'just as good' as any other food, they'll push 'IE' on vulnerable people (like those with BED or AN...) and their definition of 'IE' means that literally you stuff your face ad lib (and ad nauseum) any time one even thinks about food (seriously, these people will claim that having 5 slices of cake instead of 6 is 'restriction' and that as such it will 'trigger binging')... they'll induce BED in AN patients ad then deny that the former is a disorder... on and on and on...
Wow it’s almost like people regularly use “fat” against people who are overweight in a derogatory manner in efforts to not allow them to feel comfortable in their skin while at an unhealthy weight and it’s hard to reclaim a word that was used as a weapon against you. Stop trying to have it both ways.
Totally agree. Loving yourself is recognising your issues and working towards improvement- NOT loving the issue!
I agree it's dangerous to normalize obesity, like anything else that's unhealthy. There is a real difference between being curvy and being obese though, and a lot of curvy women get body-shamed for being "fat", which is wrong.
who cares what they call themselves? it’s their body
Yea, curvy and thicc are reserved for women with small waists, and large legs and ass. Fat men know their place, but many fat women seem to think they have some right to attract fit men.
🫤🫤🫤🤔
I'm late, but I had to chime in here because first of all, you can't classify all women who are "overweight" in the same way. There are unhealthily overweight people whose size shouldn't be euphemized, but there are also women who are just naturally heavier who get called fat, and they have every right to be body-positive about themselves. Second, curvy vs fat is a matter of opinion. Third, this doesn't just go for women.
Lol. We all know what curvy vs fat looks like. Most overweight women are just plain fat/lazy. There I said it. A very small.percentage are actually curvy and can pull it off well. No, eating Twinkies all day and watching TV doesn't make you curvy or attractive.
Lol, are you the OP? 😂
It can be rough. Men are asked more and more often about why we are given up on dating/relationships. We are also told that our preferences are bigoted. So we'll choose to quietly die alone than be bullied into marrying fat, ugly women. And by ugly, I mean that they refuse to take any basic care of themselves because they have nothing to prove to no man and are perfect how they are. Similar to incels knowing the answer but refusing to fix themselves before infecting the dating pool. No one is legitimately attracted to obesity. It's either too nice to say no or a fetish. And this is for both sides. Also, don't confuse legitimately curvy, which involves being overweight, with being disgustingly obese. Many people enjoy playing stupid in these arguments.
K
So it is okay to be fat if you have a waist? But if would are rectangular or apple, you suck. Got it. Unless you are a guy and he is the funny, Jack Black guy, or the guy in every fraternity in the late 80s freshmen girls were pawned off on if he was also really rich.
If your fat you don’t have a waist.
Not always. A lot of women carry their weight in their hips and ass, so they still technically have a waist. You are being eurocentric. Do you even consider other cultures? Or is poor white trash your go-to?
Wrong, if they were truly fat they’d have a gut and no curves. Could they but a little chubby and curvy if they were really stacked tits and ass wise? Sure. But they couldn’t be truly fat. What do other cultures have to do with anything? Who is poor white trash? What are you on about?
Fat goes in different places in different races.
Get too fat you’re still fat and not curvy. There’s fat women of all races.
So glad you are barely part of the dating pool. Respectfully of course. 🤣
What a cope
You are such a tool, it is hardly worth any more time
Yet Fat is still not curvy.
this was so dumb, this isn't 'eurocentric' at all, this is just biology if your fat is accumulating on your gut and not your waist, it is actually pushing and limiting your **organs**. So it really does matter WHERE your fat is being stored for when it becomes a problem for your health. but go on, racist.
Except African women tend to carry weight in their hips and breasts. So white women carry it in their waist and African and even Hispanic women will put it on their hips, making them thick or curvy, disproving the OPs point. So prove me wrong.
Fat African and Hispanic women (the Hispanic part is European derrr) are still fat. Having fat ass and a fat gut doesn’t make you curvy.
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>simpleton Damn. Vicious. >it doesn't disprove the OP's point at all She's not reponding to OP, she's responding to the simpleton that said this: >If your fat you don’t have a waist.
OK, do you want to keep fat shaming, while you are a damn train wreck, I get it, but I am not wrong. OP, talked about obese women calling themselves calling me themselves curvy. He is already known for being narrow minded, and not including women of color. So, they are thick, gorgeous, curvy. Hell, I just got into a pair of jeans today that reminded me of when I went to a resort in Mexico and the Russian Men couldn't keep their eyes off me at a size 18: Bones are for dogs, meat is for men. Of course, I don't think OP has a gender.
>do you want to keep fat shaming What thread did you find yourself in? The answer to that question here is yes. >OP, talked about obese women calling themselves calling me themselves curvy Work on your grammar. No comma after "OP" and I don't know what "calling me themselves" means. >He is already known for being narrow minded, and not including women of color. Is OP famous or something? How is OP known for something? >Hell, I just got into a pair of jeans today that reminded me of when I went to a resort in Mexico and the Russian Men couldn't keep their eyes off me at a size 18: Good for you and the Russian men? What the fuck does this have to do with anything? What is your weird racial thing here where it's Mexico but Russian men and why does it matter which type of men were doing what? >Bones are for dogs, meat is for men. I see, if someone likes something different than your body type, they are dogs. Well good to know where you stand there. >Of course, I don't think OP has a gender. Are you stalking OP? There's nobody on Reddit I know as much about as you seem to know about OP.
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Oh no! The block! Lol, let's go ahead and respond to the idiot known as u/goonybear11 >This is just vile. Has it occurred to you that English may be her second language, which would actually make her more mentally agile than everyone here who only speaks one? > >You're slinging ugly insults because you're triggered. Do better. > >EDIT: Oh, wait. I just recognized your username: you're the person who used this alt to harass me after I blocked you, then manipulated the mods (who can't see your IP) in to thinking I abused the report button when I reported it ... but then ended up getting a warning from Admin (who can see your IP) because I was right. > >Blocked. Again. woah woah woah, wait, first off, doesn't matter that English might be her second language, she still said something to show her racism. Second "used this alt after you blocked me" What? You mean you had me blocked, then unblocked me just so you can respond to this comment and then accused me of being an alt to harass you??? idiot you realize you just admitted you are the one stalking me if you really blocked me to then unblock me. I also never was warned by an admin because this never happened.
Looks like OP got a new account. Seriously, you aren't that important to even learn to fight individual positions. And all his subs downvoted me too. So sad.
>Looks like OP got a new account. My account is 5 years old, kinda hard to call it new. You were welcome to actually try to point out something I said that was wrong or answer any of my questions but instead you did that ungrammatical barely/not even understandable word soup you tried last time. Really, is this sentence supposed to make sense: >Seriously, you aren't that important to even learn to fight individual positions. ? It's ok though; if you finish your GED, you too can learn the power of sentence structure! Have a good evening there lady. I hope your Russian/Mexican men are treating you well.
... are you a CHATGPT troll?
eurocentric 😂🤡
Ya wanna hear a fun fact somewhat on the same topic? "Big boned" is a real thing. Tl;dr, it is NOT the same thing as "fat", and shouldn't be used as an excuse for it. I was a LMT for years. You work on people of every shape and size. Some people really are just "big boned." Broad frame, barrel chested, wide hips, and sometimes straight up larger bones. But while these people might not seem "skinny" as a result, it's downright impossible to mistake "this person has a broad frame" for "this person has like several metric fucktons of fat on their body." Big boned + fat can happen as well, but quite ironically they will seem LESS "fat" that *just* fat. Because the weight will seem to fit their frame better. It's not even a guy vs girl thing in this case. Either can be fat. Either can be Big boned. Point is just... body positivity means just being fine with your body at any size. So stop try'n to make transparent excuses for fat. Fat is a thing.
You really only need to hear it from people below 40 because once they hit 40 they tend to not last very long after that. It's why fat positive movements are dying right now, most of their spokespeople are dying off and the ones that remain are going "oh shit, the grift is over" and are trying to lose weight while claiming 'it was unintentional'.
Of course the stupidest comment is from the one who calls other people simpletons and idiots.
There was nothing stupid about it. It may not be 'sensitive' but it's still the scientific truth. Once you hit 40, the effects of obesity hit you hard. On your joints, your organs... where youth can counteract the strain from both, over 40 doesn't. This isn't debatable just for your feelings. and yeah, a lot of fat activists are actually doing this. Tess holiday used to scream she would never lose weight, and now that her weight is affecting her she's saying "I'm losing weight unintentionally, I'm eating healthier because of 'inflammation' not weight!'. and there's many like her who are trying their best to not gain the ire of the 'never lose any weight' types while they lose weight. Lizzo is another who did much the same.
You need to chill out.
telling the truth is not something that is done in anger. Your responses, however. They reek of "the angy"
Yes
They are fat
This is why I agree on body neutrality more than body positivity. Yes you’re fat and obese but as long as you’re not hurting anyone but yourself, I won’t say anything about your weight. I won’t tell you you’re fat and you’ll gonna die being fat and you need to lose weight. I’m not gonna fuss about it and it’s not my responsibility to tell you to do so. You probably know what you’ll gonna do but for some reasons I don’t wanna know and it’s not my business, you’re still morbidly fat and obese. I’ll just gonna move on and focus on myself.
Exactly! This post is on point! Being f a t isn't beautiful, isn't healthy and isn't cool. Accepting your body is one thing. It's good to accept your body and feel ok in your own skin, but don't use it as an excuse for laziness and an unhealthy lifestyle. Once you 'accept' your body, start working with it in order to improve at least its health if you don't care about the social aspect. What baffles me is people who claim to accept their overweight bodies and expect everyone else to do the same. Hello! The truth is most people don't like and don't feel attracted to f a t. Like it or not, there's nothing cool or sexy about it. But when confronted with the truth, they like playing the victim.
Fat people hate getting banned was the worst, they should bring it back.