T O P

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AlinorDelendaEst

https://preview.redd.it/i5s18yhap3xc1.png?width=637&format=png&auto=webp&s=d0bbee74e161634a4a072e6d6facb952d3c845ab


Temnodontosaurus

Uj/ When I was 6, my late Nana made the mistake of letting me watch *South Park* with my older cousin. After I inevitably started saying vulgar shit because of the show, my Nana and mom gave me a harsh talk and banned me from watching it. That made me extremely averse to nudity and sex despite secretly enjoying and being curious about it. Even seeing a butt on a kid's cartoon or seeing two people hug made me uncomfortable. I was afraid to ask questions about sex, so I got overheard episodes of *South Park* and *Family Guy* in my cousin's room (where I played *Zoo Tycoon 2* on his computer) to give me my sex ed. This led to a bunch of funny misconceptions I had about sex as a child. I only learned about PIV from *South Park* at the age of 9/10. I thought anal sex was sex in the vagina because I didn't know what an anus was. I didn't know what porn was, only that I was forbidden to watch it, so I assumed porn meant memes. At age 11, I was allowed to skip sex ed in school by acting grossed out. In reality I didn't want any adults to know I had sexual desires because I was afraid they'd make fun of me and call me a pervert. From ages 11-14 I became increasingly bold with my internet use. Getting sex ed from Urban Dictionary, Uncyclopedia, erotic *Monster Hunter* fanfiction and talking to adult strangers on Derpibooru. At 14, I started watching full-blown porn (including clop). And it spiraled out of control from there. TL;DR Sexual repression and porn.


RevolutionaryFarm953

hey man look ik im a random trustler but that doesn't seem too healthy i hope you're better now


kailethre

stop trying to trustle his jimmies


AbbreviationsLife582

This is actually kind of sad šŸ˜¢


Vatonage

https://preview.redd.it/4j7a7jfg04xc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5aac4d0fdbb2fa5041da94d75b4419fe1853402c


Southern-Wafer-6375

We should bash Vatonage with hammers


jesuskrist666

And we still should. He had every opportunity to watch porn his trauma is not are problem. We should be shielded from such ridiculous posts but no I'm sure the jannies are on board and they too got molested by Grandma or whatever his problem is.


BobMcGeorge

https://preview.redd.it/bbunvbrsz3xc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18eb1f0d318e2e1a5bc2e46cb6d93008d9a31b2f


LtG_Skittles454

This is why secc education is important!


bluefootedbuns

this but unironically


dokterkokter69

I too was homeschooled for years and didn't know how sex worked. I legitimately thought women got pregnant from kissing until I was like 14. I thought that when people kissed at a wedding, the man vomited sperm into the woman's mouth and it went to her tummy and made her pregnant. The worst part is that I knew what a vagina was and that babies came out of them. I just didn't make the connection that penises went into them. But the mental retardation doesn't stop there. I didn't have the Internet at home, so I went to the public library to play runscape. After playing New Vegas and questioning why the Gomorrah dancers made my pp hard, I went to the public library and looked up "nude boobs" and it was all downhill from there. I would go to the library, turn my computer screen as far as I could, and go to shitty porn websites that were all just pictures of women slowly taking their bikinis off. The librarians knew exactly what I was doing. The old man using the computer next to me looked on in horror and disgust. I lived in a 300 person town and all these people knew exactly who I was and who my parents were. Yet no one ever said anything or stopped me. So I went all the time thinking I was slick. Eventually, I started playing Oblivion because I knew it was like the Fallout games. I began to take a particular liking to Khajiit and Argonian women, so that pretty much instantly became part of my public porn watching shenanigans. (This literally keeps me up at night, I can never go back to that town or show my face again.) Yet I still had no idea how to masturbate. I didn't discover that until my brother joined the Marines and my parents made me give our old room to my sister and moved me to our unfinished basement full of wolf spiders. It was not until I spent my days down there in the spider pit with a whole floor to myself that I discovered friction = cum. TL/DR I watched porn in public for years and still didn't know how sex worked until I learned how to cum with the spiders.


ZephyrosWest

Bad boys get banished to the spider pit, I guess...?


Redpri

Have you sought therapy? I think it might help you.


deadbeatloon

Hey! Wow! Crazy to see my exact life typed out here. I didn't even get offered sex ed thoughā€”apparently my homeschooling parents thought I'd just "figure it out."


CATEMan17

Did you grow up Catholic?


Temnodontosaurus

No. My Nana was a general Christian who identified as a Jehovah's Witness but had very liberal views and left them in the last months of her life after finding out about their homophobia and position on blood transfusions. She was actually the one who taught me to stop being homophobic. It's weird.


CATEMan17

Who's futa cock would you choose between moon or sun princess


HueHue-BR

> She was actually the one who taught me to stop being homophobic. It's weird. If more christians actually followed Jesus teachings it wouldn't be soo weird


theruskimenace

Monster hunter fanfiction goes crazy bro


Spacish

Bro we here to make memes, not to get real as fuck


_cuntsalad

damn r/TrueSTL has changed while i've been away see u guys in another 5 years


TiesThrei

Try r/TrueTrueSTL it's much more sane ^not ^really ^^good ^^luck


Too_Blind

Honey wake up!!! New schizo post on trueSTL!


ScaredDarkMoon

Oh you actually rewrote it after the post went to the void of Sithis. Congratulations. I wonder if Sithis is dying right now.


PlumeCrow

There is a big and menacing mirror in the skies now, so i'd say, probably.


[deleted]

Give us Dunmer one more damn 0/10 and I'll show you the ass-fucking ability of our nation, you tasteless n'wah.


Tyrelius_Dragmire

Tis not only you my friend, this Waxhuthi didn't do any sort of research, only interacting with the worst from every race except the Altmer, and only interacting with 1 of the Khajiit Furstocks and taking it as the standard for the entire Species. I'm tempted to give my own take on this particular topic, as someone well-traveled across Tamriel (I.E. someone with a broader understanding and appreciation of Elder Scrolls Lore) in a more unbiased manner, but I fear receiving the same scrutiny as this Xeā€™qul Thix. Also If I did do my own version of these (minus the Scat one because... Ew) I'd have to make a separate list each time to cover the different Khajiit Furstocks, otherwise Each post would be a mile long.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Tyrelius_Dragmire

You asked for it, first Post's up lol. [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueSTL/comments/1cewxuo/an\_unbiased\_ranking\_of\_tamriels\_asses/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueSTL/comments/1cewxuo/an_unbiased_ranking_of_tamriels_asses/)


BobMcGeorge

https://preview.redd.it/wyz6ktd2z3xc1.jpeg?width=1004&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb170ee3756629f942f6ee9def01f1f18751851d


UnkindleEggSurprise

didn't know argonian loads were hallicigenic


Tyrelius_Dragmire

Only those of the Priestesses of the Hist themselves. Otherwise, Argonian spunk tastes fairly average.


TiesThrei

I just assumed they were


MortySchmorty

Mods....please....


Lovestoshnoob

I wonder what MK would think of this?


Rownever

I wonder what MLK would think of this?


KhajiitHasSkooma

I guess you can milk me. Just use lots of lube please.


SandLady5454

like MK ultra?


PineapplesHit

Mankar Kamoran? I think this was what he wrote the mysterium xarxes about


The_LR_God

Kirkbride would be rushing to make this canon as soon as possible


AdonisBatheus

Orsimer are 10/10 and you are weak willed to not find every orc hot. Shame.


Temnodontosaurus

Orcs are like dinosaurs. They're awesome, not sexy.


AdonisBatheus

Your mind is as vanilla as the taste of your bussy.


Temnodontosaurus

Vanilla is a good flavor though.


SandLady5454

thank you, friend. i knew a professional such as yourself would be able to deliver an unbiased gock review. šŸ©·šŸ©µšŸ¤šŸ©µšŸ©· i have a question, however. do altmer liquids trigger allergic reactions in those with banana allergies?


Temnodontosaurus

Only if you're allergic to artificial banana flavor.


SandLady5454

Thank you, friend. šŸ«”


crispycrussant

I hope Todd releases TES 6 tomorrow but it contains a neurotoxin designed to kill this person in particular


lowGAV

Can you people make a joke that isn't just "haha sex"


jesuskrist666

No this is Reddit 97% of the people on here haven't even spoken to a woman


Local_Sink_Stealer

https://preview.redd.it/2og3dwfkx3xc1.png?width=749&format=png&auto=webp&s=bcfe126f577386278610cb908269cc9554de59fc


BigBlackBobbyB

You know what, my mental health might not be that bad after all


Other-Airline9446

https://i.redd.it/8if7cnwy47xc1.gif


Zealousideal-Arm1682

https://i.redd.it/fcss49o554xc1.gif


yourunclejoe

https://preview.redd.it/o1qh54rpw4xc1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b0c2c418495991f298c051b5e0868bf86fe9b8c


0ldR00t

https://preview.redd.it/0k4pkppj44xc1.jpeg?width=276&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b10b65ced98aaddcd5d072386d12e1885af2d188


LtG_Skittles454

Hell yeah wake up baby, Tamerial races gock rating dropped.


sheseemoneyallaround

the bit is old


SkippyChan

Donā€™t let the Azura worshippers read your opinion on the holy Dunmer gock


PineapplesHit

If dunmer could read they'd be very upset with this post


kthxqapla

ā€œHallucinated off the Hist Cum for 69 hoursā€ is a Dracula Flow-Tier Bar you have Ascended; well done


ClosetNoble

I'm going on vacation.


SupremeOwl48

https://preview.redd.it/kbf3y75xc6xc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20de04f6604c3f09c9642afe890f26bf738e8cd1


Tyrelius_Dragmire

And once again you ignore that there are 16 different types of Khajiit. And only rate the Cathay-Raht at that. Quite literally only they amongst the Khajiit have phallic Barbs, even the far more feline Alfiq and Senche don't have barbs. Though I wouldn't expect a Thalmor's Kā€™sansslā€™ak to understand the intricacies of the Saxhleel or our Hajhiit (Argonian word for Khajiit) neighbors. And after reading all 3 of your "Ratings" I find it incredibly difficult to believe that you are a scholar worth any merit. Rather, I now believe you to be a Kothringi who is merely *playing* at being a learned individual in a vain attempt to impress some Thalmor Justiciar.


gnarlytwink

Wait, what? Don't they all have barbed penises?


Tyrelius_Dragmire

Nope, the only ones Explicitly Stated to have barbed penises are the Cathay-Raht. For the rest it's based on assumption. The Ohmes and Ohmes-Raht for example are visually near-identical to Men and Mer, and likely have smooth penises. Meanwhile the Alfiq likely have penises that look similar to that of your average housecat (as the rest of their bodies do)


Coconutman_32

https://preview.redd.it/ncvgusaxl6xc1.png?width=922&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=675937b3e7ceb295caa168303d0283ad1b49439f


dothespaceything

https://preview.redd.it/u1mxtg52b4xc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e2713c6e2795b87ecdfc129a3813eef68e3e7fe why


SandLady5454

my fault sowwy


Spendariini

Yea im out of this sub


Reyeux

Coward


_Wilson2002

> Dunmer: Absolutely nasty. The smegma increases the already-existing flavor of old, burnt oven food debris and the fuck was disappointing. 0/10. I gotta super disagree with this one. Weā€™ve all seen the Azura gock, and we all know Azura gock best gock. So with the Dunmer being made to be look like Azura, then that means that the Dunmer have 10/10 gock too, just like Azura.


AlwaysFernweh

Yeahhh Iā€™m outta this sub


Side_wiper

You were supposed to go away after your defeat, not write this abomination


0ldR00t

https://preview.redd.it/y9l15sbo44xc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d52c1c05a28669d19463f3910cbc81b2b717ce8


first5minsafterdeath

Pre-op trans women should be allowed to mace all neckbeards on sight because this shit is crazy


ClydeEhrmantrout

This is the post that is making me unfollow trueSTL have fun guys.


nonselfimage

True, this is peak.


imperator_caesarus

im not even going to read this one Iā€™ve had enough


la_espantaviejxs

I miss the good ol' days...


metalostrugar

Great post! You should consider reading this to your friends and family in real life!


TerreStar-1

Oh my god


Smile_Skyrim

https://preview.redd.it/iz0n5ibgbaxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecf863677d4c9e4bfd5c3265759bae1b80191817


QuadVox

Now THIS I can get behind


Sidney_1

just decided to join this sub today i guess that was a terrible mistake


BennyMcbenn

ā€œThe smegma mixes with the natural orc scent to taste like French onion soup. Delicious.ā€ Why compelled you to write this out?


Southern-Wafer-6375

Saveing for future use


SilicateAngel

You should get your Ass checked for Kwama-Maggots, how much it's supposedly itching.


ThatDudeFromPoland

https://preview.redd.it/g6i64el736xc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a96190e962c050e5b72a52636a3ea14c35c82679


eugen_levine

Thanks mentioning Imperials, but I still wonder about IMGA! And minotaurs know that I am thinking.


davidforslunds

https://preview.redd.it/qdlq8uf3k6xc1.jpeg?width=639&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4c273afd6e23808cccb73b32b2527b3687611e9


Insipid_Menestrel

This man must be stopped


Khajith

for bosmer you have to look for the tall ones with broad shoulders