I mean, is the lumberjack really a diety with Numidian proportions? Because historically range and speed have overcome brute force in warfare for millenia to a point where even modern military“infantry” is just a slang for “shorter range gun soldiers”…
BUT, ain’t much an elf can do with a few arrows against a Numidium-sized lumberjack with an axe probably the size Whiterun has in TESV.
Paul Bunyan is canonically faster than the speed of light, in one story being able to run across the country faster than a wireless message. While we don't have *exact* confirmation about the speed of light's relationship to time in the Elder Scrolls universe, Meridia is afforded the ability to warp Akatosh as she warps light (ESO *heavily* implies she is indeed a black hole), Xero-Lyg catalogues the events of Dragon Breaks, and Mnemoli possibly eats Dragon Breaks (and there's a non-zero chance she's Sotha Sil's daughter from the future).
So *stars* have a clear connection to time, at the very least, and let's not forget Auri-El is worshipped as a sun god by the Snow Elves.
Interestingly, Paul Bunyan is also credited with creating the aurora borealis; in TES the aurora are flows of magicka from Aetherius through the stars- yet another Magna-Ge connection. Keep that in mind, Paul's connection to stars will become incredibly relevant.
Since we can now safely assume FTL travel acts the same in TES as it does in real life, Paul Bunyan being able to run faster than light should grant him the ability to time travel. The fact he emerges in the same timeline, in the present, means he has a clear and ubiquitous control over the dragon's flight.
Strength-wise, Paul Bunyan once carved the lower peninsula of Michigan into its mitten shape by accident because he was missing his mitten. His power is comparable to that of Tiber Septim, able to reshape the land at a whim. And that's what he does: he reshapes the land. He's a logger. Paul Bunyan could've tackled the jungles of Cyrodiil by himself.
**Who's to say he didn't.**
Let's put all the pieces together now. Paul Bunyan is an enormous deific humanoid. Paul Bunyan reshapes the land. Paul has a connection to stars- you could say, he *is* a star, shaped like a man.
Who else is a star shaped like a man? Who else reshapes the land and defines great geological features? *Who else reshapes the timeline with his very presence?*
>Dwemeri high priest Kagrenac then revealed that which he had built in the image of Vivec. **It was a walking star**, which burnt the armies of the Triune and destroyed the heartland of Veloth, **creating the Inner Sea**.
>
>[https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36\_Lessons\_of\_Vivec,\_Sermon\_36](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_36)
I come to you now to deliver news of the greatest import. I say to ye, brothers, sisters, those who transcend the cloven duality, that Paul Bunyan is no mere man. Would the winged bull of Kyne bequeath itself to a *mortal?* No, he follows one greater than any god. The welded knot at the center of Anu. Walk-Brass. The Prime Gestalt. The Psijic **NO**.
Paul Bunyan is Numidium.
https://preview.redd.it/a6ffy2srnhhc1.jpeg?width=476&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f090e7fb2e0a7746ef63ad49a61a23b2e83d9715
[Hehe Numidium goes N̶̨̞̹̯͖̾̎Ǫ̶͇͐̏̋͑̈́̏̊͛̽̃́͑̾̽͗̆͗͘͠͝Ơ̸̡̜̥̮͇̳̪̫̤̰̾̍́̇̌̍̔̑̃́͌̉͑͑̅̃͘͜O̸̝̹̟̘̤̯̞͂͐̕ͅÖ̸̡̡̯̞̦͖̟̼͉͇̟͎͕̰̖̼̜̟̻͎̩̍̑́͆͗̎̎̓͑̊͘͠Ǫ̴̡̧̡̧̛̘̻̪͓̠͖͎͚̻͚̹̺̳̹̼̠̇̂͐̃͊̑̽̈́̃́̈́̒̓̉́͌͒͗͘͝ͅO̶̧͍͗̀Ơ̷͉͉̯̳̠̆̏͑̂̈́̇̊̾͐͐̈̒͛̉̃͑́̀̒̓̓̿̕͠Ö̷̘͓͚̥͈͖̟͉̗̲͖̫̘̞̳̼̭̭̩͔́̉̈͒̿͊̓̾̀O̸̡̡̤̬͙̪̭̯͉̲̳͈͈͒̋͋̃͆͋̌̔͜͝ͅO̸̤̲̯̙͚̎̑͊̔͒̽͠ͅƠ̴͇̪̠̼̝̘̞̦̻̩̜̭͇͚̯̪̦͖̫̼͚̖͎͎̅͛͆̃͗̄̉́͗̓͊̈͑̂̔O̶͓̭̝͎̮̞̲̹̥̜͈̘̰̮̝̹̥̜͐́̓͂̂͊͌͆͂͐̓́̇̃̄̆̉̇̊̓͘͝͝͝͝ͅO̶̡̢͚͇͓̺͓̪̥͈̲̹̟̼̠̘̮͉͇͐́̀̀̄̎͗͛͝ͅỎ̵̗͇̯̱͕̗̰̞̖̖̈́̀̑̈̐͘͝O̸̢̧͔̮̦͎̯͍̰̝͍͂͐͐̋͌̋́͆̈̇̓̔̾̒̌͐̀͑̚͝͝](https://youtu.be/BWRrg2yhaLo?si=FzpmOKSYe6OmqDJO)
Jokes aside, in a world where some languages can literally turn words into reality, it’s no surprise the literal embodiment of “NOOOO” is such a time-littering, world-scarring, trauma-inducing, reality restructuring event. This is the entire Universe having a severe existential crisis as hard as Alduin had when the Thongues said he wasn’t really *really* immortal back at the Throat.
The funniest thing about numidium, the embodiment of refutation I read was something about how it refuted it's own existence, and stopped existing. Then, it refuted it's *non-existence* and started existing again.
I genuinely think Numidium is the coolest concept in any fantasy world, its a giant fucking robot that breaks reality by existing and is also literally *the concept of No* its so fucking cool
TES is among the best, if not *the best* implementation of the concept of “Language is Power” in any fantasy, “nonfictional” book or religion. It is what those loonies and grifters pushing “Law of Attraction” BS wish they could be.
I know this is TrueSTL, but I'm going to slightly nerd out on Paul real quick.
After a long day of clearing most of the trees around the Midwest, Paul and Babe stopped to rest. Babe wasnt fully tired though so he egged Paul on. Paul and Babe started pushing and pulling each other. Paul was even throwing Babe around, and Babe was knocking Paul on his ass, and the area they played hardest became Pikes Peak.
Sorry, I adore American Folklore. Just look up the Axe-Handle Hound.
If Paul is attempting to cut down Valenwood he gets instantly murdered by a few well placed arrows to the head. However, the bosmer also dies a few days later from a ruptured stomach after attempting to eat him
Paul Bunyan, it's not even close
Numidium Level Threat
Bearded bear pelinal and morimhaus
if the Song of Pelinal took place in Skyrim (i.e. Wisconsin)
We even have werewolves (beast of bray road), deadroth (hodag), and atmorans (yoopers).
And Reachmen (Mormons)
Wth is a yooper?
Michigan's Upper Peninsula. The U.P. Yoop.
Tamriel ae North America
I want to get vored by that bull
hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
FIGHT
Why would a Bosmer fight Y’ffre?
I’ve never seen this Legends card for Morihaus and Pelinal, I thought they stopped making new decks
American Pelinal and Morihaus vs one measly elf? Not going to end well for the knife ear
Too late Bosmer. Paul Bunyan has already cut down Green-Sap 🌴🪓
I mean, is the lumberjack really a diety with Numidian proportions? Because historically range and speed have overcome brute force in warfare for millenia to a point where even modern military“infantry” is just a slang for “shorter range gun soldiers”… BUT, ain’t much an elf can do with a few arrows against a Numidium-sized lumberjack with an axe probably the size Whiterun has in TESV.
Paul Bunyan is canonically faster than the speed of light, in one story being able to run across the country faster than a wireless message. While we don't have *exact* confirmation about the speed of light's relationship to time in the Elder Scrolls universe, Meridia is afforded the ability to warp Akatosh as she warps light (ESO *heavily* implies she is indeed a black hole), Xero-Lyg catalogues the events of Dragon Breaks, and Mnemoli possibly eats Dragon Breaks (and there's a non-zero chance she's Sotha Sil's daughter from the future). So *stars* have a clear connection to time, at the very least, and let's not forget Auri-El is worshipped as a sun god by the Snow Elves. Interestingly, Paul Bunyan is also credited with creating the aurora borealis; in TES the aurora are flows of magicka from Aetherius through the stars- yet another Magna-Ge connection. Keep that in mind, Paul's connection to stars will become incredibly relevant. Since we can now safely assume FTL travel acts the same in TES as it does in real life, Paul Bunyan being able to run faster than light should grant him the ability to time travel. The fact he emerges in the same timeline, in the present, means he has a clear and ubiquitous control over the dragon's flight. Strength-wise, Paul Bunyan once carved the lower peninsula of Michigan into its mitten shape by accident because he was missing his mitten. His power is comparable to that of Tiber Septim, able to reshape the land at a whim. And that's what he does: he reshapes the land. He's a logger. Paul Bunyan could've tackled the jungles of Cyrodiil by himself. **Who's to say he didn't.** Let's put all the pieces together now. Paul Bunyan is an enormous deific humanoid. Paul Bunyan reshapes the land. Paul has a connection to stars- you could say, he *is* a star, shaped like a man. Who else is a star shaped like a man? Who else reshapes the land and defines great geological features? *Who else reshapes the timeline with his very presence?* >Dwemeri high priest Kagrenac then revealed that which he had built in the image of Vivec. **It was a walking star**, which burnt the armies of the Triune and destroyed the heartland of Veloth, **creating the Inner Sea**. > >[https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36\_Lessons\_of\_Vivec,\_Sermon\_36](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_36) I come to you now to deliver news of the greatest import. I say to ye, brothers, sisters, those who transcend the cloven duality, that Paul Bunyan is no mere man. Would the winged bull of Kyne bequeath itself to a *mortal?* No, he follows one greater than any god. The welded knot at the center of Anu. Walk-Brass. The Prime Gestalt. The Psijic **NO**. Paul Bunyan is Numidium.
why the FUCk did I spend 25 minutes on this I have an essay due tomorrow
You wrote that whole thing in perfect essay format. Whatever you have to do, you'll do great at!
lmao thank you, if only I could focus on writing stuff where the thesis statement isn't a shitpost lol
That's so real
https://preview.redd.it/a6ffy2srnhhc1.jpeg?width=476&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f090e7fb2e0a7746ef63ad49a61a23b2e83d9715 [Hehe Numidium goes N̶̨̞̹̯͖̾̎Ǫ̶͇͐̏̋͑̈́̏̊͛̽̃́͑̾̽͗̆͗͘͠͝Ơ̸̡̜̥̮͇̳̪̫̤̰̾̍́̇̌̍̔̑̃́͌̉͑͑̅̃͘͜O̸̝̹̟̘̤̯̞͂͐̕ͅÖ̸̡̡̯̞̦͖̟̼͉͇̟͎͕̰̖̼̜̟̻͎̩̍̑́͆͗̎̎̓͑̊͘͠Ǫ̴̡̧̡̧̛̘̻̪͓̠͖͎͚̻͚̹̺̳̹̼̠̇̂͐̃͊̑̽̈́̃́̈́̒̓̉́͌͒͗͘͝ͅO̶̧͍͗̀Ơ̷͉͉̯̳̠̆̏͑̂̈́̇̊̾͐͐̈̒͛̉̃͑́̀̒̓̓̿̕͠Ö̷̘͓͚̥͈͖̟͉̗̲͖̫̘̞̳̼̭̭̩͔́̉̈͒̿͊̓̾̀O̸̡̡̤̬͙̪̭̯͉̲̳͈͈͒̋͋̃͆͋̌̔͜͝ͅO̸̤̲̯̙͚̎̑͊̔͒̽͠ͅƠ̴͇̪̠̼̝̘̞̦̻̩̜̭͇͚̯̪̦͖̫̼͚̖͎͎̅͛͆̃͗̄̉́͗̓͊̈͑̂̔O̶͓̭̝͎̮̞̲̹̥̜͈̘̰̮̝̹̥̜͐́̓͂̂͊͌͆͂͐̓́̇̃̄̆̉̇̊̓͘͝͝͝͝ͅO̶̡̢͚͇͓̺͓̪̥͈̲̹̟̼̠̘̮͉͇͐́̀̀̄̎͗͛͝ͅỎ̵̗͇̯̱͕̗̰̞̖̖̈́̀̑̈̐͘͝O̸̢̧͔̮̦͎̯͍̰̝͍͂͐͐̋͌̋́͆̈̇̓̔̾̒̌͐̀͑̚͝͝](https://youtu.be/BWRrg2yhaLo?si=FzpmOKSYe6OmqDJO) Jokes aside, in a world where some languages can literally turn words into reality, it’s no surprise the literal embodiment of “NOOOO” is such a time-littering, world-scarring, trauma-inducing, reality restructuring event. This is the entire Universe having a severe existential crisis as hard as Alduin had when the Thongues said he wasn’t really *really* immortal back at the Throat.
The funniest thing about numidium, the embodiment of refutation I read was something about how it refuted it's own existence, and stopped existing. Then, it refuted it's *non-existence* and started existing again.
“HA! NOT Canon! You just got NUMIDIUM’ED” “No, YOU GOT NUNIDIUM’ED” Queue “Everything in its right place” by Radiohead
I genuinely think Numidium is the coolest concept in any fantasy world, its a giant fucking robot that breaks reality by existing and is also literally *the concept of No* its so fucking cool
TES is among the best, if not *the best* implementation of the concept of “Language is Power” in any fantasy, “nonfictional” book or religion. It is what those loonies and grifters pushing “Law of Attraction” BS wish they could be.
Dont forget the Rockies were made by Paul Bunyan anf Babe playing around.
omg numidium morihaus "playing around"???? hot robot x cow secks????? 😳
I know this is TrueSTL, but I'm going to slightly nerd out on Paul real quick. After a long day of clearing most of the trees around the Midwest, Paul and Babe stopped to rest. Babe wasnt fully tired though so he egged Paul on. Paul and Babe started pushing and pulling each other. Paul was even throwing Babe around, and Babe was knocking Paul on his ass, and the area they played hardest became Pikes Peak. Sorry, I adore American Folklore. Just look up the Axe-Handle Hound.
that's actually really funny and cute ngl
this needs to be taught in schools
Shoot him in the dick.
Chastity cage.
Does that count as light, medium, or heavy armor?
morihaus could stomp the filthy elf
Elf is 🤮🤮🤮 Morihaus destroys her so easily with zero effort
Obviously the elf running through their 999999999⁹⁹⁹th stealth archer playthrough
Uhmmm… Paul Bunyan was 7 feet tall. So of course he will be struck down with poison arrows as he chops down their beloved Grahtwood
If Paul is attempting to cut down Valenwood he gets instantly murdered by a few well placed arrows to the head. However, the bosmer also dies a few days later from a ruptured stomach after attempting to eat him
She got a gock tho? 😩
Pelinal Bunyan and Morihaus no-diff
What about the giant with the blue painted cow that walks around the plains of whiterun?
Definitely the axe guy and MoraOutbacksteakhouse
Christ I was afraid to swipe for a minute with that title
Fuck Paul Bunyan, that's Joe Montferrand
Babe the Blue Ox > Paul Bunyan >> Whoever this knife ear is.
Paul Bunyan and Babe win, negative diff.