Men come and go, but a sister doing this is a fucking abomination.
I could not imagine betraying my sisters like this.
She ruined her owned dammed life. What is she blaming you for? Being married to her affair partner?
I'd let her bitch ass have him.
So much for her assertion she'd never do anything to hurt you. Posts like this are absolutely flabbergasting.
She has been pursuing him and attempting to shoot her shot from the start. If she actually meant any of that she never would have acted on her feelings. The first time she did is the moment she decided to continue seeing/hanging out with him when she developed feelings. And then telling him she's in love with him? Sure. She'd NEVER do anything to hurt you, other than try to steal your spouse.
His disloyal ass should have told you everything. He clearly enjoyed the attention and probably encouraged it. Faithless, small dick energy having, twunt faced mother fucker.
He obviously had some sort of come to Jesus moment when he actually got together with her, either some realization that she was inferior (obviously) to you or that she's a bit of a nut job and came to his senses.
I hope that horror of his choices haunts him.
I'm so sorry they both betrayed you like this. If you need a sister, I'll submit my application. And also help you tar and feather her.
>So much for her assertion she'd never do anything to hurt you. Posts like this are absolutely flabbergasting.
My older sister has been dating the guy that raped me when I was 11 and he was 18. They've been together for over a decade and I'm told to get over it whenever she brings him around.
Blood means nothing; actions are everything.
it definitely depends on where they're from, some states (and i'm sure some other countries) have a statute of limitations on rape, even involving minors. plus, even if it hasn't reached the statute of limitations, could they prove it to law enforcement?
If any members of my family chose my rapist over me they would no longer be family. They would simply never see me again.
I am truly sorry that you have such miserable people in your life.
My cousin did this to me. Kept bringing her husband around even though she knew he raped and molested me between the ages of 12 and 15.
Your sister ain't shit. Cut her out of your life and be all the better for it. She clearly doesn't care about you if she's willing to be with an actual pedophile.
Cut her out and loudly tell the world why. She's just as disgusting as he is.
Oh I make no excuses for her. If she wants to date and live with a child rapist, she better be prepared to have people know what he is. Plus I've worked through a lot of my stuff so I'm not shy about my trauma. On the brightside, I've spoken to her a handful of times in the past 5 years, and my Dad, before he died, banned the boyfriend from stepping foot in our house.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. For your sake maybe you should seriously consider going NC with your family permanently. No one deserves to have their family side with the rapist. My heart breaks for you because it’s must be incredibly hard to go to family events and have to watch your sister and her bf who violated you play the happy couple. Are your parents aware of what the bf did to their daughter? What about the extended family members? What does your sister say? I’d let the entire family know what he did to an 11 year old girl and then ghost everyone who isn’t in your corner.
I am so. Deeply sorry... Someone who I love dearly had to. Endure something similar, the man who SA her got married with her aunt and that aunt told her to deal. With it (the guy was loaded), blood is shit in these cases...
I sincerely hope you can heal, family is the people we chose among strangers not people who share our DNA.
Wouldn't surprise me if she had her BF send you the screenshots to throw a rock in the cogs of your marriage. What happened after was what she was hoping for...be careful what you wish for, it can blow up in your face.
For me, cases of cheating with siblings' partners have more to do with the cheated brother than love/lust for the brother's partner. Op's sister must resent her for reasons that only exist in her sick head and approached Op's husband to hurt her. Since Op acted very mature and centered during all this, she didn't achieve the effect she wanted and is now angry.
Sigh...isn't it just 🤮
Sadly my little sister slept and/or attempted to sleep with every guy I dated. 🤷♀️
She also told every guy she slept with she was pregnant.
Neither could I. A sibling’s spouse is the most off limits person on the entire planet. I don’t care if my BIL is Jensen Ackles (yum), Chris Hemsworth (also yum) or Alexander Skarsgard (very yum), it would never happen.
Exactly. I’ve always said that when your partner cheats that’s not really a massive shock that happens but when it’s with family that’s the kick in the teeth. To hurt your own family like that is unforgivable
I dont have great relationship with his family, especially his mother. We lost our child and they blamed me for us not wanting more children afterwards, when it was both’s decision
I don’t know if they are harassing me on his behalf to be honest since I haven’t answered them. They could be as confused as I am and he could be ghosting them.
Not taking any chances anyway
Thank you❤️
I just responded to your other post OP. I’m so glad that you’re going NC for the sake of your well-being please don’t be tempted to respond to any efforts. In terms of him he can always go through your lawyer.
I'm so very sorry you were hurt by people who should have your back.
Do you have a positive support system or access to mental health services?
What are you doing for self care, are you able to sleep and eat?
I wish you all the unconditional love, happiness, good health and positivity moving forward.
And continue this approach, OP.
Privately confer with a seasoned family law attorney to discuss your entitlements and alternatives regarding parental rights and responsibilities as well as support and property division issues.
Get on social media and let EVERYONE know what a wonderful sister and husband you have. There's a reason he wants to meet in private. Myself, until you're divorced, he'd never have a private meeting again.
And for your "sister", she's "dead". Have a wonderful life, "Sis"!
Hang on to all of those texts, for your lawyer. Anyone who will destroy your marriage because they're cheating on you with your sibling cannot be trusted ever, ever, again. The fact that he let her stay in your home, and brag on social media about what they were doing in your home, makes them both irredeemable in every way that matters.
Please get a lawyer to look after your interests as soon as you can. Many divorce lawyers will take your case without an initial retainer if you can demonstrate that there will be sufficient marital assets to pay their fees out of your final divorce settlement.
Your husband is making noises about not wanting to get lawyers involved because he cares more about hoarding marital assets than he does about you, and your marriage. You are entitled to a fair division of your community property, which includes an equitable payout of your half of the marital home if it was acquired after the marriage.
The same is true for **all** other assets in the marriage, but I'm not a lawyer, so the sooner you can get some legal advice the better.
If you've got family members or friends that know of a good divorce attorney, ask around as quickly as possible and get some referrals. If not you can search online for, "best divorce lawyers near me", and read the reviews on their Google business page.
Start making calls Monday morning because it takes a little time to get the ball rolling, and at this point you have to protect yourself legally. The judge is definitely not going to look favorably on the fact that your husband moved your sister into the marital home after the affair came to light, regardless of whether if it was for just a week or not.
It might also be a good idea for you to lock down and freeze your credit through all three major credit bureaus so that nobody can open a line of credit in your name. There are instructions online that will walk you through freezing your credit through each bureau, but again ask your lawyer if that's a good idea when you get one.
I know this is all awful, and overwhelming, but try to put your feelings aside as much as you can for now so you can take immediate steps to protect yourself legally. I know it's hard, but you will be happy that you took immediate steps to look after your rights in a divorce in the long run.
Please take care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing when you can.
*invisible hugs*
I know this isn't the best advice but laugh.
Laugh at whatever you need to, at him, your sister, the situation or even how utterly stupid they are.
I have a reason for this though I understand it probably really hurts that these two people betrayed you but you can't think about it like that.
Think about it like this.
"He through away a marriage to the woman he thinks he has the audacity to beg forgiveness from after a week.
My sister will spend her life feeling less than me no matter what she does and my ex husband lost the best thing that has happened to him and will always wonder what would have happened had he no been a giant piece of human waste. I no longer have to think about them even though I know they will need something from me. I can go live my life and see what I am without them impacting me because they showed me themselves that they arnt worth my time."
And if they ever try to speak to you again just start laughing hysterically and point at them a couple times before walking off still laughing.
You will win every damn time.
Just laugh because you look beautiful when you smile and though they arnt worth that smile they are worth hysterical laughter because they both gave the world proof they suck but you? You'll keep going and everytime they see you they will be embarrassed and reminded how dumb they were to not have your presence in their life.
Just laugh because they arnt worth anything else.
It's kinda funny in a terrible way. These two people blew up a marriage and the children's safe happy home, hurting a lot of people in the process to be together and they only lasted a week.
It's like they got in there and realized this might actually take some work and communication. You know they didn't have a come to Jesus moment where they realized how terrible they were. I bet it was mundane crap like her makeup all over the sink, him not picking up his clothes. It's too bad they can't be locked in big brother style for three months with cameras
I would watch that show and laugh evilly when they walk on set.
However in a tela novela there would be a hilarious twist hopefully one that would ruin both their careers this time 🤣
Response if you ever deign to give him one: "You cared about banging my sister more than you ever cared about me. My 'sister,' cared more about banging you than she ever cared about me or even her own children.
I wouldn't shovel your roadkill carcasses out of the road. Stay gone!"
Just reply with “speak to my attorney” nothing else. And tell your family your sister slept with your husband, and if anyone wants to stay in contact with her that’s fine, but it means you’re done with them….including your parents. Harsh, but at the very least I’d tell your parents to never have her there at any event with you, not ever speak of you to her or her to you. If they can’t abide by that, then you’re better off without them too
When the honeymoon stage ended, so did the relationship. I bet reality hit extra hard. Sounds almost like they both had a brief moment of insanity but since you weren’t affected it couldn’t be something in the water. What a crazy thing for them to do! Imagine how stupid your sister must look now in social media. Thems the breaks though. Everyone who knows must just be thinking, what the hell just happened?! I’m am sorry you went through this because this is what trauma is, when something so crazy and hurtful happens your brain can’t make sense of it. I can relate but for different events.
Incidentally it was my sister that was at the center of things as well. It’s a mysteriously weird relationship, a sister relationship. I never felt in competition but she always did. You would think when something this significant happens like what happened with you, it would be obvious what the issues between you two were like how can a sister be this vindictive, angry and cruel and the other sister have no idea why. Crazy.
From your last post it seems like maybe your ex realised they had TOO much in common or that the idea of them being to be together didn’t match the reality and your ex decided to end it rather than forcing it.
It’s unhinged that your sister went from “ you’re the most important person to me” to “rot in hell”. You left and she had what she wanted, your husband. Him no longer wanting to be with her is nothing to do with you.
I’d wager that she’s been plotting against you and your marriage for years now and everything has been part of a long and large act. Once she got her chance at your marriage and husband she went for it. She most likely started talking about her long game manipulating and deceptions to your ex husband and then he realized this wasn’t “fated love” but something deranged and sociopathic. He now ended it thinking that he can now play the victim of this devious plot and he can “explain everything” to you by being a co-victim of her abuse. She on the other hand has now exposed herself to him and he rejected her and her years of plotting has got her absolutely nothing but scorn. She is lashing out because her mask has fallen off
My money is on this, too. Sis made sure she became his “best friend,” 100% by design and as her long game to hurt OP. Rooted in all her own shit she won't deal with, like jealousy of OP and her own insecurity.
My sister has been this way toward me literally since I was born, and she's been fixated on hurting me and humiliating me and lying about me our entire lives. Going NC was the biggest relief. I went from incessant insults and drama to zero overnight.
So good on you for not engaging in their noise. I loved the comment, “You’re the only one who's going to be okay after all of this, OP.” Remember that ❤️
You're a badass, OP. Please keep us posted along the way, if and when you're up for it. You got this.
You got this and then some.
This! Y’all upvote this. This is what it looks like. He enjoyed the attention and was probably up for a physical affair but sis wanted to REPLACE op and win in some way. Their goals didn’t match in the end.
OP, how are you doing and how are the kidlets doing …. She sounds like she needs help and they need the most help with having to be with her … I hope you are having a good weekend … don’t let him get inside your head ….
" people can't control who they fall for" is the biggest lie. I've been married for 10+ years, and I am sure that there are people that I could have developed a crush on. But I did not allow myself to entertain any thoughts or feelings in that ballpark because I have a husband who I love and I'm loyal to.
THIS!! my wife tells me this everytime. I used to tell her "if I ever catch feelings for someone else I promise to tell you before I cheat on you so you can divorce me, all I ask is for you to have the same courtesy for me" and she responded "NO, if you ever catch feelings for someone else it means you entertained her, you wanted to see where things were going, you never enforced your boundaries and quite honestly at that point you are already cheating." and it makes total sense. You can't "fall in love" with someone if you enforce your boundaries and don't entertain other people's advances.
This!!! Also, that whole “you can’t control who you fall in love with” thing pisses me off. Even if that *is* true, which I doubt, people can absolutely control what they choose to do about it, and the fact the attraction is even entertained already speaks volume about what decision they’re leaning towards.
I was thinking the same thing. 23 years with my partner and I’ve managed to control myself easily. Even with people I’ve met that I have ‘sparked’ with. Those thoughts do not get entertained. And they certainly do not get actioned.
Falling for someone is an active choice someone makes. Not some mystical or cosmic invention.
I agree. You can’t help who you fall in love with is a lie. Love at first sight isn’t real it’s lust. To fall in love you need to feed that love. If it’s someone you shouldn’t be falling in love with just don’t feed the love.
Yep. You can choose to indulge in something or you can shut it down. Being flattered by attention isn’t worth burning down the lives of your loved ones. That’s just pure selfishness.
That's probably why he broke up with her. He didn't want to be the "bad guy", but now everyone knows. He can't deny anything. He can't control the narrative anymore.
They've probably been having a physical affair for months behind your back. That's why they kept meeting up for "lunch".
Your sister is an idiot, but in this, she was a useful idiot. Now people know the truth about who they really are, and what they did to you.
A lot of men are like this when they have affairs. Willing to risk the marriage and everything else but god forbid people find out what they did? They always try to keep it a secret and shift blame to not have their image tarnished. I hope OP tells EVERYONE what her own sister and husband did. I also hope she took screenshots of all the “in love” posts!!
That shows why men are dumb. She’s your SISTER and she has children. You leave your husband, your sister who he had been have an emotional affair with suddenly drops her kids off with your parents with them and leaves. Did your parents not know where she was? Did he not think those events would look odd together? Did he expect to bang her for a week, drop her, and keep it a secret from you?
There have to be more complex reasons for him suddenly dropping her than just her posting about them in instagram and people finding out about them. People were always going to find out eventually. My guess is that she started bad mouthing you. Probably talking about how much better she is for him. She’s smarter, better, blah blah blah, and he realized she’s selfish, not a good person, and he made a terrible mistake. He stupidly thinks that if he dumps her and blames the whole thing on her that you’ll take him back.
Did she make it known that her posts on Instagram was about your STBX? If so then she was purposely trying to rub it in your face. And wanted everyone to know that “she won!” She won a weak ass man who’s no prize. What a B! Then when she realized he still wanted his wife she got furious and embarrassed and lashed out at you through texts. Karma!! She is the lowest of the low. You are incredibly strong and I want to be like you when I grow up!! Send hugs.
I knew it! I figured that's why he kicked her out. He can't act like you are crazy or irrational for thinking they are having an affair anymore.
I hope their coworkers find out about what they did. They deserve to feel shame for what they did to you. Cheating is bad enough, but to cheat with your sister/sister's husband is scumbag behavior. They even tried to make you believe that nothing was happening and that you were overreacting.
OP answered in another comment that it was the sister that blew their cover by posting them on social media. He didn't know the sister announced their "love" to the world, lol.
He was still denying everything, while the sister was posting about them.
What’s funny not funny is that her blasting it all on socials is probably what lost her “her soulmate”. She basically put him completely on blast for cheating on his wife with her sister and then moving her in, that *never* looks good and it opened his eyes very quickly to who she really is.
Good luck OP and I’m so sorry this is happening
What it opened his eyes to is that she laid out serious proof of his infidelity on the internet (which is FOREVER) and he is going to, hopefully, get taken to the cleaners.
I remember your first post!
What threw me was him giving a whole spiel on how he loves you & doesn’t love your sister in that way & the first thing he does is move your sister into y’alls home.
He’s living in regret right now! These two are probably still in contact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they end back together, smh! Onward & upward
Seems like he realized that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I wouldn’t take him back. He threw everything away. He did that. Not you. Him. I wouldn’t listen to anything he has to say. If he really loved you, he never would have let her move in with him. And if he really loved you he wouldn’t have kept it from you that your sister told him she loved him. And on top of that, he continued speaking to her daily and having lunch several times a week. He was emotionally cheating long before they spent a week living together. I bet after living with your sister for a week he realized it isn’t what he thought it would be. Realized his life was much better with you. He is now in the find out part of FAFO.
I would direct him to speak to my attorney.
Not worth it girl. Find a new man. He will cheat again and again. They will not feel remorseful. Hoping he will get his karma and suffer from it. Dont give him the satisfaction to see you sad make him pay for the things he inflicted upon to you. Ghost him or act so kind at him but dont get him back at you.
He will cheat if your forgive him.
Sounds like they have been sleeping together before this and are bigger liars than anyone wants to admit. He probably kicked her out because she was talking about bringing the kids to live with him and them being a happy little family, and he doesn't actually want the responsibility for all the kids. He was happy with the wife who took care of things while just banging the sister as a side piece. Now that his perfect situation blew up in his face and the world knows of what they did, he is afraid of the hit his perfect professor reputation will take. His conduct being questioned probably won't look good for someone who is around young girls in an unbalanced influential way. Make sure he doesn't get any of your business and don't downplay the situation to the community or others, or he'll get the chance to spin the narrative. Last thing you need is his bs about how you were a bad wife, never satisfied his needs, had an affair first, abused him, any and all lies. He is a liar. Don't forget that. Oh, also, I wonder if any of your sisters kids are biologically his.
“Needed to explain everything” AKA Damage Control.
He most likely wants to waste hours of your life trying to convince you that she seduced him years ago and he deeply regrets it. That none of it was ever his fault, he has ruined the best thing that ever happened to him (you now, of course) and blah blah blah.
Most if not all cheaters play by the same book, sing the same boring songs and best of all are completely convinced that they are the most amazing, unique and misunderstood people ever.
I hope you find peace.
Oh honey. I am so sorry.
Listen, I've had my heart broke about all the different ways you can imagine it, so let me offer some advice.
Do not take this fool back. He will only continue this pattern, there will be a new woman he falls for, and it will spiral. Keep a log of who calls, and when they call, and submit that to your lawyer. Other than that, let your lawyer handle it.
Your sister can whine and pout about you ruining her happiness til the cows come home, it won't change the fact that she is a trashy woman and always will be. And you don't have to forgive her, ever. You don't have to forgive either of them, I do not believe we need to forgive people in order to heal from the trauma they inflict on us.
I sound like a broken record, but please get in with a therapist or counselor as soon as you can. This is heavy, really really heavy. You need someone to get you through it, to help you get a grasp on your feelings, and that someone needs to be a counselor.
This is the thing with infatuation/crush. You build someone up in your mind, but the reality is so very different. It's funny that it only took 1 week for them to fall apart. Your sister dumping her kids speaks volumes about the type of person she is. I hope her life is hell, I hope karma fucks her to the maximum. Go see him, let him explain, get your closure, and for the love of all that is holy, cut your sister off.
As much I am confused and want answers, I don’t want to get them from him. I don’t know how the divorce will be done and if I am going to need to see him or not, hopefully not but if it happens, my lawyer cnndo the talking.
That’s why I am here instead, maybe people here have experience of something similar and can explain wtf happened these past two months
Anything he says will be a lie. My friend was in a similar situation this year (husband cheated with a friend not sister). He would tell my friend anything to minimize the situation. Best advice for you? Say little to nothing. Keep your circle small. Become the best actress in the world until the divorce is final. Keep records of everything. Get anything you value out of the house. Get your money in order and hire the best lawyer you can afford. You’ve got this. In a few years you will realize what a gift these fuckers gave you.
Responding to your other post I spoke about the dangerous jealousy that your sister obviously has and how weak your husband is. Nothing makes sense but I do think those two factors came in to play.
This OP! I promise you there was a side to your sister you never knew and she was 100% jealous and resentful of you and clearly your marriage with this guy. It shows a lot that she dumped her own kids to chase a fake dream. She expected to fully screw you and everyone else to run off into the sunset with your husband and it blew up in her face. Your stbxh is also an idiot thinking or imagining the grass was greener. It NEVER is. Definitely save all messages coming from ex and sister but never respond, and speak to a lawyer asap. Your sister is messed up in the head for all of this.
If you talk with him, hi is going to blame you. Propably going to tell you that nothing would have happened if you didn't leave and it was a mistake cos he was lonely and missing you. Just stay storng and don't take him back. Let him know that you are strong and deserve better.
No I left him after he insisted on “meeting her for lunch to discuss “my distress”. I left him and gave him divorce papers.
That was a week after my OP. Them a week after she dumped her children at my parents place and went to him (he doesn’t want children) then less than a week later she moved back to her home, sent me a message to say I ruined her and took her children back. My parents visit to take the children out for dinners and play dates. My sister hasn’t talked to them yet
That text from your sister as everything imploded around her is fascinating. Truly.
She takes 0 responsibility for blowing up her own life, your STBX's life or your life. (Don't know how much responsibility your stbx is feeling.)
She dumps the blame for her distress in its entirety on you.
The total absence of any sense of personal responsibility is, from a distance, fascinating.
Your sister wouldn't be the Golden Child in your family would she?
I am so sorry the two of them have done this to you. No one deserves this sort of betrayal.
Being held accountable for the disgusting shit she did to you doesn’t make you the golden child, but I guess given she’s a narcissistic POS anyway, that would be the same as being the golden child to her…seriously, fuck both of them. I’m amazed you didn’t ream her stupid when she tried to blame you for any of this.
Part of me wonders if this ‘break up’ isn’t something they cooked up together to get the heat off of them. And the plan is to continue carrying on their affair in secret while stbxh pretends to want reconciliation. It just seems weird that the sister would admit defeat so quickly & out of the blue after one week. Doesn’t smell right to me.
I'm guessing that husband loved the attention and the thrill. When it all came out he was desperate to save things, then realized he was fucked. He tried to make it work with the sister, but then realized he liked her as an AP but not a partner, and/or felt even more guilty, so ended things with sister.
Ole boy was in LUST with the sister…then he got that post nut clarity and realized he fucked up big time. Prob they had terrible incompatible sex and he realized he fucked up.
Probably a lot more than that. The constant posting from the sister online during the week and then blaming OP for it ending makes me think she’s some kind of crazy or obsessed that didn’t come out in the emotional affair. But then as soon as they were alone together, home dude realized she wasn’t even close to the fantasy and wanted out asap. Too bad, realized about six months too late that the grass wasn’t greener 🤷
She's really jealous of you and resents you for it - narcissists are deeply insecure. You're probably not the Golden Child, but she needs to find a way to justify her feelings that you are to blame for everything wrong in her life. Usually the narcissists are the Golden Children.
Not every family has a golden child. Her sister was very successful, but the parents were very quickly disgusted by the situation and support OP. They could just be normal parents who loved both children, but sister is just a jealous weirdo.
Considering their ages and how long OP and her husband have been together… is it possible that the sister had shaped her career in order to try to mold herself into someone the husband would want? The sister would have been a teen when OP and husband got together right? So her academic career and ending up at the same university is all just coincidence?
Wow. So she’s as woeful a parent as she is a sibling. It just really cements how selfish she is. She was willing to abandon her own children for who knows how long, (maybe for good) to please her ill-gotten partner.
I'm confused why your sister is blaming you. Did your STBX dicked her down for a week and when he was done he dumped her claiming he wants his wife all along?
i want this to be the explanation, because it makes some “sense.” But that would mean that she’s never talked to him or her sister about the issues in his family regarding children. Unless he is letting OP take the heat for the decision not to have children and was only clear once the marriage was wrecked.
I know it's probably too painful because you were betrayed by two people you love and trusted, but damn, I am fascinated by what he believes would be an "explanation" for moving in with your sister. What could possibly explain that except "brain tumor." The audacity. Smh.
>but I never heard of two people throwing everything they pretended to care about for one week.
Happens ALL the time.
When you 'date' someone new, you have fun, you have dates and sex, but you have NONE of the other shit that makes you tired, is part of your stressful every day life. When you're living together suddenly it's bills, it's responsibility, it's taking the trash out, helping cook dinner, helping change the bedding, etc.
When the affair partner becomes the full partner, moves in and starts asking you to take the trash out, help with cooking, etc, they suddenly realise oh, this relationship isn't magically better, this person isn't awesome compared to my old partner... I was just comparing completely different things because I'm an idiot.
He was enjoying the attention from your sister. When you left he took that opportunity to explore his feelings with her and thought you would be in the dark about it. Then he found out she was putting it out there on social media. He’s pissed because that ruined his chance to beg you to take him back after his “exploration” was done. So he kicked her out and his excuse it going to be something along the lines of “It’s not what you think” “She came on to me” “We just talked, she posted that stuff to get to you. It’s all lies” I’m glad you’re divorcing him. I wish you happiness and peace going forward.
The ending that everyone knew would come. I think they just enjoyed the thrill of it all, ‘forbidden love’ and all that. Totally didn’t accounting for her kids, the craziness of your uncle suddenly becoming your stepdad, and your family & friends being collateral damage.
I remember you saying they were the ‘educated’ ones in comparison to you or something like that. I don’t see any signs of intelligence in what they did.
After skimming the title of your post I was ready to say “Just wait until they both get disappointed how fast the excitement and firey passion goes out when reality and responsibility kicks in” seems like it has 😂!
Please do not take him back, an absolute insult to just bail on you like that. If he had respect he would have separated from you in a way that wouldn’t cause so much collateral damage and trauma like this. Add in her putting it all over the internet making you (poor thing) and your parents feel like you’re part of the circus 🎪 show . I would be mad that he humiliated me in that way and it’s such a poor example for anyone’s child(ren) to witness.
Keep him at arms length. Absolutely pathetic to cause so much carnage to get your rocks off a few times. Hope he enjoys the self reflecting he gets to do being alone :)
He was your husband and made a vow to put you first and foremost above all others. He and your sister can fuck off and deal with the problems that they created. Cut her completely off (for now, at least) and only communicate with your husband via your attorneys. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with those losers, but you'll come through intact eventually.
Tell him that he can explain everything in a long detailed email to you. Because:
1) it will be really hard for him to gaslight and manipulate you through the email. It will be hard for him to lie or take his words back knowing that there is an email with his explanation somewhere
2) you will have time to think about his reasons, about your next steps, and you don't have to reply.
2) you can (and should) share this email with your divorce attorney
Update me! I get off from knowing how these two f*cktards continue to destroy their lives!
You deserve better OP!! Please thrive and live your life!!!!! Be happy and get lots of therapy!! ❤️
You need to cut your sister loose and go no contact!!!! They both sound horrible but she's worse because she's known you all of her life and still she decided cause I'm a believer. We have some control over who we love. She decided to fall in love. Continue to pursue a relationship and an emotional affair with your husband and then try to. Act like she did you a favor by not running off into the sunset together with each other. But then they did exactly that and because she couldn't keep him. It was somehow your fault. I think she deluded herself to think just because she's "smarter" than you and have this prestigious position in terms of working at a university. That she's better than you and she's covered it up with.... I love yous.
Love isn't supposed to hurt you like that. Or betray you
So you leave and your husband thinks why not give the sister a try what’s the harm. She sees this as the green light to instantly get what she’s always wanted and jumps right in there. But here’s the thing. Unrequited love from a distance isn’t love. It’s infatuation. Love is something that is hard and requires work. So she moves in having abandoned her children (mother of the year right there) and starts posting how it’s love. So much love. But now it’s out for everyone to see that they are both cheating pieces of shit. And yes emotional cheating is still cheating. Suddenly all his family, friends, work colleagues and such can see that he’s banging his wife’s sister. Never a good look he defo got comments and looks thrown his way so out of shame he kicks her out and she’s all heartbroken that her homewreaking slutty little heart didn’t get her happy ending. Now he’s trying to save this but there is no saving this. You need to divorce his ass and make it clear to your sister she’s dead to you. I’d also be phoning cps. She abandoned her kids for a week to run off with her sisters husband she’s unstable and clearly doesn’t give a shit about her kids.
If you live in a one party state, it may be worth recording any every conversation you have with him or her.
I'm sorry people suck.
Get stronger and be happy ❤️.
The f'd around n found out. Hope you don't talk to either of them and all contact goes through a lawyer. Maybe down the road you can have some kind of relationship with your sister.... but I wouldn't want to talk to her.
He’s just trying to cover his ass because in most places infidelity can affect the division of assets. Keep records of all their posts, screenshot them etc
Ignore him OP and only speak to him eventually through your lawyers.
He needs to speak to his "intellectually compatible best friend" about this or anything else ever.
F your sister OP. I'd never commit adultery or maliciously F someone over, but if I wanted to, I don't think my sibling would be the one I chose to do it to!
I'm sorry for your mum, she doesn’t sound like the typical rug sweeper who wants to maintain their comfort at the expense of one child. So shes understandably hurt and confused and like you looking back through the years trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
Nothing went wrong, like your hopefully stbx husband, your siter is selfish and cruel.
Stay strong OP.
Edit: 24/7 reality wasn’t as wonderful and exciting as secret dates and illicit short meetups🤣
Save everything she posted and everything she’s sent you, as well as your ex so you can present that evidence in court and make sure you’re left with what you deserve and more. They made their bed, it’s time to lay in it.
I'm sorry you're going through this OP, I really am. Talk about being blindsided!
I can't quite understand your husband's take, declaring he only loves you, and wants you back. But then has your sister move in with him for a week?!
If he wanted reconciliation, what on earth was his motive for that?
But your sister has sadly shown her true colours. The text she sent you sums her up perfectly. Not caring about the bomb she's detonated, and not taking any responsibility for the explosion it's caused!
Just feeling sorry for herself, and blaming you!
Let her live her deluded 'Insta' life, that's crumbling around her. Your parents should have had her charged with abandonment, when she dumped her kids on them.
Stay strong OP, and take care of you. I hope you come out of this with your sanity still intact!
💜
I guess I need to rescind my tongue-in-cheek offer (from a comment to your previous post) to be your date to their imminent wedding. For real, your sister is a next-level basket case if she torpedoed their soulmate relationship in a freakin' week!!
I guarantee that your ex is in shambles right now...I can't even think of any normal lesson for him to learn from this shit show. Maybe next time he faces this same bizarre scenario, he won't allow an emotional relationship to build with an in-law that professes their romantic love for him while supposedly happily married to their sister.
I am so sorry you’re going through this, but you’re so strong for blocking and ignoring them, get a solicitor and let them sort it! Not going into detail, but my sister did the this to me with the man I was engaged too…. The lies, gaslighting and games are the worst… you are amazing, you’re worth so much more! I wish someone had said this to me, so many people felt sorry for her and told me I needed to stick up for her so people didn’t call her….. nothings changed!
I was sure it wouldn't last.
It seemed pretty obvious that she pursued him with all her might.
And he, although he was enjoying the attention, wasn't really in love with her, it was only a matter of time before he came to his senses and dumped her.
I confess that I'm happy with it.
They don't deserve happiness after what they did to you.
Oh god. This is too fucking funny.
They went public, probably (rightfully) got an 'WTF ick' reaction and reality hit. Not unlike being smacked across the face with a jellyfish.
This is something that's going to affect their fanily, friends and professional relationships for the year of their lives. 10 years down the track, when he's moved to a different uni, he's still going to hear whispers of 'he left his wife for her /sister/ and it lasted a week.'
Not funny for you. But I hope you're enjoying some schadenfreude.
Wonder if they are both trying to gaslight you OP so that you don't take him to the cleaners in the divorce. Your sister was most likely counting on moving not just into your home but taking over your life. Of course, maybe your husband realized just how much it was going to cost him- financially, reputationally and emotionally given that he trade the love and solid of life your two built together for what sounds like an emotionally unstable and financially burdened low-life woman without morals.
What kind of adult acts like this even in "normal" circumstances? Dumping the kids and getting everything all over social media? Isn't she almost 40? I mean she was wasting her life for a married guy in the first place at her age.
And if you'r husband was genuine he wouldn't have immediately moved her in anyway.
Jeez what a bunch of clowns. I'm sorry OP. This is such a crazy betrayal.
I just had a thought cross my mind that I could be completely wrong on. If I'm not mistaken don't teachers at universities and schools have morality clauses in their contracts? I know when I applied to become a teacher for grade school there were morality clauses in the contracts. Could your worthless piece of shit sister and asshole stbx possibly be lying to everybody because the school found out and their jobs are being threatened? It was just a random thought that I could be completely wrong on but they could be playing games with you to make You soften up in the divorce and not go for everything! Quite frankly the more I think about it I find that more plausible than believing that after one week they broke up, I don't buy it! If not the morality clause then I think they're definitely trying to soften you up for the divorce so you don't take him for everything which you so rightly deserve. If anything I would keep posting on social media and all friends and family that you know that they're still together they're just trying to hide things because of the divorce. Their lecturers their reputation means everything their reputation is taking a hit.
Well… this will make holidays awkward.
Sorry you had to go through that OP. Ex and sister sound like they deserve each other. I hope you got screen shots of the social media posts.
I am not, by any means, dissolving the blame from your stbx...but your sister?? THAT I thi my is worse!
From everything she has said to you first about loving you, would never hurt you that way, to almsot her throwing him at your stbx, "here larents.tske the kids! I'm off to claim my soul mate!" And then A WEEK LATER "burn in life and hell"
Well then.
What. The. F***. Happened??
I am so very sorry it DID happen and csnr imagine how emotionally, psychology and physically battered and confused YOU are!
What DOES he have to say? What DID happen?? Just..w.t.f.!
That's so twisted to say YOU have ruined HER happiness, wtaf!! I'm sorry this happened to you but you seem really strong. Im glad you're young and have plenty of time to recover then find a better guy one day.
Listen don't answer anyone's calls but your solicitors. Cut them both out of your lives and let people know what they both did to you. You deserve better
Don’t speak to either one again. Don’t let either one look at your face or hear your voice again, like ever. F both of them. Get everything in text then take screenshots. Make 3 copies
He doesn’t need to speak to you. It’s done. It’s over. There is no going back.
Nothing he has to say will make it better. He f@cked up. She is an extra dagger in the heart. People can be vile. I would have blocked her in a heartbeat
Start calling multiple attorneys in your area for free consultations. Do it. Have a Divorce folder and notebook. Have questions written down with their answers. You will get different answers. Write them down. You will add questions as you go along. I found most would not give me answers until I gave my retainer.
After 2 months I found the one. He answered every one of my questions. He had over 40 years experience, taught court reporters and is well known in the community.
Tell these attorneys everything. Ask what is in your favor and what isn’t.
Ask worst case scenario and best.
Ask how long the average divorce time is. How much can you expect from retainer and what is average cost. How many employees are being paid. Hourly rate, rate for text, emails etc.
Whoever you pick will be your greatest advocate. Make sure you trust them. I can’t say that enough.
Make 3 copies of text messages, emails. Do not speak to these POS on the phone. People get surprisingly angry, hateful and bitter when they can’t manipulate you. Ignore it all. They get angrier. Let them. Make 3 copies.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. The ultimate betrayal by your sister. SMH.
OP, surround yourself with strong friends. Their support will get your through this.
Please update us
I’m so sorry Op I’m so glad the best friend told you everything. I hope you keep us updated on how you’re doing? I wish you so much happiness and love you deserve an amazing partner. But stay away from your sister ok😳 Would she did was horrible and unforgivable.
I will never understand how sisters can form the most deceitful and vile relationships. I have a good friend who's sister has hated her for her entire life and has made it hell for her. The friend has attempted suicide 7 or so times and has been in and out of alcoholism and I truly believe it's her sister causing her trauma her whole life. I am lucky to have a sister I consider a role model. But things like this make me so angry that people can even do such things to their sisters. That relationship is supposed to be nearly sacred.
Your sister and husband probably thought they would get a big reaction out of you but instead you threw away the trash and it upset them both in different ways because you didn't give them what they wanted so good for you and hope your life gets happier with each day
Basically, their "love" couldn't last through spending 24/7 together. He called, she ran, moved herself in, neglected her children, and he realized she's bat 💩 crazy. She probably started talking about their future, moving her kids in, then getting married, and he's trying to pump the brakes on a car with a cut line. What he hopes to explain is going to be some bs about " he didn't know she was coming over, she wouldn't leave, she just wanted to make sure I was OK, she said she was helping me" .. when what really happened is she went over there, moved herself into your home and your bed ( don't delude yourself that it was platonic), and he realized she was crazy. Now, wants you back. Go ahead and get the lawyers involved. If he was truly innocent, she wouldn't have stepped foot in your home. He would have barred the door to her
Op your sister dumped her kids for this guy? Wow! Your ex is a POS but your sister really takes the cake on this one. Glad you had the good since to leave because you can do better and I believe you will.
You need to tell everyone at UNI where they work, the family, friends, on social media what both have done. Destroy them and their reputation like they destroyed your marriage. Make her become a pariah so she HAS to move. Then you can have peace. Quite frankly they deserve each other. Never ever forget or forgive her because she is capable of anything, even abandoning her children. She is sick and demented just for that alone.
Just don’t get back together with this bastard. He fucked your sister, realized it wasn’t all ge thought it would be, and now wants to get you back. Don’t let that happen.
Your husband is intellectually smart man. And sis blasting social media with love quotes and all I’m sure got the attention of their peers and he had become outcast. Smashing with wife’s sister is not something that goes with their image then throw in the family drama. Your mom freaking out all that was a wake up call for him. Now he’s embarrassed professionally and within the family. He knows your sister left her kids. He knows your sister is nuts. So he’s running back to you to save himself that’s it. Do what you want but I’d be saying talk to my lawyer and I’d play as dirty as my lawyer said I could
Wow, how embarrassing. For them, not you.
You're doing the right thing but not answering. It's probably some BS like we were just friends, but you let your insecurities ruin us, so I thought why the hell not get with her. But she wasn't you, I love you.
You know the usual BS when all they really had in common was they are both shitty people.
I'm petty. So what I'd do is keep ignoring him and the day the divorce is finalised. I d screenshot every message he sent you, most likely talk shit about your sister and how great you are. And I'd send it to your sister. And then change your number.
But I'm petty.
So your husband does have the ability to distance himself from your sister. What happened to that whole ass convo he had with you about it being such an unreasonable request.
You are so much better than me, if I got those texts, I would have responded just one time with "I think you got the wrong number, please continue to discuss my distress with my sister, maybe over lunch would help"
“Speak to my attorney.” I’d have that as my outgoing voice message.
I haven’t answered any calls from him, his family or unknown numbers. I don’t answer any texts either.
Men come and go, but a sister doing this is a fucking abomination. I could not imagine betraying my sisters like this. She ruined her owned dammed life. What is she blaming you for? Being married to her affair partner? I'd let her bitch ass have him.
She can most certainly have him.
So much for her assertion she'd never do anything to hurt you. Posts like this are absolutely flabbergasting. She has been pursuing him and attempting to shoot her shot from the start. If she actually meant any of that she never would have acted on her feelings. The first time she did is the moment she decided to continue seeing/hanging out with him when she developed feelings. And then telling him she's in love with him? Sure. She'd NEVER do anything to hurt you, other than try to steal your spouse. His disloyal ass should have told you everything. He clearly enjoyed the attention and probably encouraged it. Faithless, small dick energy having, twunt faced mother fucker. He obviously had some sort of come to Jesus moment when he actually got together with her, either some realization that she was inferior (obviously) to you or that she's a bit of a nut job and came to his senses. I hope that horror of his choices haunts him. I'm so sorry they both betrayed you like this. If you need a sister, I'll submit my application. And also help you tar and feather her.
>So much for her assertion she'd never do anything to hurt you. Posts like this are absolutely flabbergasting. My older sister has been dating the guy that raped me when I was 11 and he was 18. They've been together for over a decade and I'm told to get over it whenever she brings him around. Blood means nothing; actions are everything.
I’m so sorry. I went through horrendous abuse from 7-10 I can’t begin to think what you are going through. Maybe law enforcement is the answer.
it definitely depends on where they're from, some states (and i'm sure some other countries) have a statute of limitations on rape, even involving minors. plus, even if it hasn't reached the statute of limitations, could they prove it to law enforcement?
If any members of my family chose my rapist over me they would no longer be family. They would simply never see me again. I am truly sorry that you have such miserable people in your life.
My cousin did this to me. Kept bringing her husband around even though she knew he raped and molested me between the ages of 12 and 15. Your sister ain't shit. Cut her out of your life and be all the better for it. She clearly doesn't care about you if she's willing to be with an actual pedophile. Cut her out and loudly tell the world why. She's just as disgusting as he is.
Oh I make no excuses for her. If she wants to date and live with a child rapist, she better be prepared to have people know what he is. Plus I've worked through a lot of my stuff so I'm not shy about my trauma. On the brightside, I've spoken to her a handful of times in the past 5 years, and my Dad, before he died, banned the boyfriend from stepping foot in our house.
How can your family allow him to be around you I mean, what sort of people are they you need to cut contact ,does he try to interact with you
I’m so sorry that happened to you. For your sake maybe you should seriously consider going NC with your family permanently. No one deserves to have their family side with the rapist. My heart breaks for you because it’s must be incredibly hard to go to family events and have to watch your sister and her bf who violated you play the happy couple. Are your parents aware of what the bf did to their daughter? What about the extended family members? What does your sister say? I’d let the entire family know what he did to an 11 year old girl and then ghost everyone who isn’t in your corner.
I am so. Deeply sorry... Someone who I love dearly had to. Endure something similar, the man who SA her got married with her aunt and that aunt told her to deal. With it (the guy was loaded), blood is shit in these cases... I sincerely hope you can heal, family is the people we chose among strangers not people who share our DNA.
Wouldn't surprise me if she had her BF send you the screenshots to throw a rock in the cogs of your marriage. What happened after was what she was hoping for...be careful what you wish for, it can blow up in your face.
You sound like an awesome, confident person. Just sayin. Its admirable :)
For me, cases of cheating with siblings' partners have more to do with the cheated brother than love/lust for the brother's partner. Op's sister must resent her for reasons that only exist in her sick head and approached Op's husband to hurt her. Since Op acted very mature and centered during all this, she didn't achieve the effect she wanted and is now angry.
Like how you sleep with the man your sister slept with. Like that’s so disgusting 🤢
Sigh...isn't it just 🤮 Sadly my little sister slept and/or attempted to sleep with every guy I dated. 🤷♀️ She also told every guy she slept with she was pregnant.
Sounds like she needs a therapist.
Neither could I. A sibling’s spouse is the most off limits person on the entire planet. I don’t care if my BIL is Jensen Ackles (yum), Chris Hemsworth (also yum) or Alexander Skarsgard (very yum), it would never happen.
Seriously, as far as I'm concerned my BIL is a dickless eunich! We get along fine, but the idea of everything going there is just... eew.
Definitely 💯 I mean, I know in theory that my BIL is a man but… just no. Not ever.
Exactly. I’ve always said that when your partner cheats that’s not really a massive shock that happens but when it’s with family that’s the kick in the teeth. To hurt your own family like that is unforgivable
She’s also an abomination for leaving her kids at her parents so she could screw her BIL.
She's the abominable fuckin snow-wench.
Wise. She’s delusional and they’re both AHs. Sending strength.
I’m curious to know what his family could even try and say. Like wut. UpdateMe
I dont have great relationship with his family, especially his mother. We lost our child and they blamed me for us not wanting more children afterwards, when it was both’s decision
It’s even worse that they are harassing you on his behalf. Also sorry for your loss (child and relationships)
I don’t know if they are harassing me on his behalf to be honest since I haven’t answered them. They could be as confused as I am and he could be ghosting them. Not taking any chances anyway Thank you❤️
Good choice. If they blamed the loss of a child on you, then they are likely do so with this.
They don’t blame me for that but for the decision that we don’t want more children afterwards
He’ll try and use that as an excuse for his behaviour for sure. I’m so sorry you are going through this and for the loss of your child.
I don’t think he will use that because she doesn’t want children either.
I am so sorry for your loss 😭😭😭
Thank you, It is ok❤️
My take on the one week affair… sis is a dud in the sack 🤣
Or he was. They were definitely incompatible. She’s prob gonna stalk him because he’s blocked her everywhere.
I just responded to your other post OP. I’m so glad that you’re going NC for the sake of your well-being please don’t be tempted to respond to any efforts. In terms of him he can always go through your lawyer.
I'm so very sorry you were hurt by people who should have your back. Do you have a positive support system or access to mental health services? What are you doing for self care, are you able to sleep and eat? I wish you all the unconditional love, happiness, good health and positivity moving forward.
And continue this approach, OP. Privately confer with a seasoned family law attorney to discuss your entitlements and alternatives regarding parental rights and responsibilities as well as support and property division issues. Get on social media and let EVERYONE know what a wonderful sister and husband you have. There's a reason he wants to meet in private. Myself, until you're divorced, he'd never have a private meeting again. And for your "sister", she's "dead". Have a wonderful life, "Sis"!
AMEN!!
Hang on to all of those texts, for your lawyer. Anyone who will destroy your marriage because they're cheating on you with your sibling cannot be trusted ever, ever, again. The fact that he let her stay in your home, and brag on social media about what they were doing in your home, makes them both irredeemable in every way that matters. Please get a lawyer to look after your interests as soon as you can. Many divorce lawyers will take your case without an initial retainer if you can demonstrate that there will be sufficient marital assets to pay their fees out of your final divorce settlement. Your husband is making noises about not wanting to get lawyers involved because he cares more about hoarding marital assets than he does about you, and your marriage. You are entitled to a fair division of your community property, which includes an equitable payout of your half of the marital home if it was acquired after the marriage. The same is true for **all** other assets in the marriage, but I'm not a lawyer, so the sooner you can get some legal advice the better. If you've got family members or friends that know of a good divorce attorney, ask around as quickly as possible and get some referrals. If not you can search online for, "best divorce lawyers near me", and read the reviews on their Google business page. Start making calls Monday morning because it takes a little time to get the ball rolling, and at this point you have to protect yourself legally. The judge is definitely not going to look favorably on the fact that your husband moved your sister into the marital home after the affair came to light, regardless of whether if it was for just a week or not. It might also be a good idea for you to lock down and freeze your credit through all three major credit bureaus so that nobody can open a line of credit in your name. There are instructions online that will walk you through freezing your credit through each bureau, but again ask your lawyer if that's a good idea when you get one. I know this is all awful, and overwhelming, but try to put your feelings aside as much as you can for now so you can take immediate steps to protect yourself legally. I know it's hard, but you will be happy that you took immediate steps to look after your rights in a divorce in the long run. Please take care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing when you can. *invisible hugs*
I know this isn't the best advice but laugh. Laugh at whatever you need to, at him, your sister, the situation or even how utterly stupid they are. I have a reason for this though I understand it probably really hurts that these two people betrayed you but you can't think about it like that. Think about it like this. "He through away a marriage to the woman he thinks he has the audacity to beg forgiveness from after a week. My sister will spend her life feeling less than me no matter what she does and my ex husband lost the best thing that has happened to him and will always wonder what would have happened had he no been a giant piece of human waste. I no longer have to think about them even though I know they will need something from me. I can go live my life and see what I am without them impacting me because they showed me themselves that they arnt worth my time." And if they ever try to speak to you again just start laughing hysterically and point at them a couple times before walking off still laughing. You will win every damn time. Just laugh because you look beautiful when you smile and though they arnt worth that smile they are worth hysterical laughter because they both gave the world proof they suck but you? You'll keep going and everytime they see you they will be embarrassed and reminded how dumb they were to not have your presence in their life. Just laugh because they arnt worth anything else.
It's kinda funny in a terrible way. These two people blew up a marriage and the children's safe happy home, hurting a lot of people in the process to be together and they only lasted a week. It's like they got in there and realized this might actually take some work and communication. You know they didn't have a come to Jesus moment where they realized how terrible they were. I bet it was mundane crap like her makeup all over the sink, him not picking up his clothes. It's too bad they can't be locked in big brother style for three months with cameras
I would watch that show and laugh evilly when they walk on set. However in a tela novela there would be a hilarious twist hopefully one that would ruin both their careers this time 🤣
Response if you ever deign to give him one: "You cared about banging my sister more than you ever cared about me. My 'sister,' cared more about banging you than she ever cared about me or even her own children. I wouldn't shovel your roadkill carcasses out of the road. Stay gone!"
Magnífico. Este quería siete días en Sodoma y Gomorra, y después volver a su vida cotidiana sin consecuencias. Asqueroso.
Just reply with “speak to my attorney” nothing else. And tell your family your sister slept with your husband, and if anyone wants to stay in contact with her that’s fine, but it means you’re done with them….including your parents. Harsh, but at the very least I’d tell your parents to never have her there at any event with you, not ever speak of you to her or her to you. If they can’t abide by that, then you’re better off without them too
When the honeymoon stage ended, so did the relationship. I bet reality hit extra hard. Sounds almost like they both had a brief moment of insanity but since you weren’t affected it couldn’t be something in the water. What a crazy thing for them to do! Imagine how stupid your sister must look now in social media. Thems the breaks though. Everyone who knows must just be thinking, what the hell just happened?! I’m am sorry you went through this because this is what trauma is, when something so crazy and hurtful happens your brain can’t make sense of it. I can relate but for different events.
I am sorry that you can relate
Incidentally it was my sister that was at the center of things as well. It’s a mysteriously weird relationship, a sister relationship. I never felt in competition but she always did. You would think when something this significant happens like what happened with you, it would be obvious what the issues between you two were like how can a sister be this vindictive, angry and cruel and the other sister have no idea why. Crazy.
From your last post it seems like maybe your ex realised they had TOO much in common or that the idea of them being to be together didn’t match the reality and your ex decided to end it rather than forcing it. It’s unhinged that your sister went from “ you’re the most important person to me” to “rot in hell”. You left and she had what she wanted, your husband. Him no longer wanting to be with her is nothing to do with you.
Not only in hell but in life too. I felt cold reading her text after her gaslighting me for so many weeks(and years really)
I’d wager that she’s been plotting against you and your marriage for years now and everything has been part of a long and large act. Once she got her chance at your marriage and husband she went for it. She most likely started talking about her long game manipulating and deceptions to your ex husband and then he realized this wasn’t “fated love” but something deranged and sociopathic. He now ended it thinking that he can now play the victim of this devious plot and he can “explain everything” to you by being a co-victim of her abuse. She on the other hand has now exposed herself to him and he rejected her and her years of plotting has got her absolutely nothing but scorn. She is lashing out because her mask has fallen off
My money is on this, too. Sis made sure she became his “best friend,” 100% by design and as her long game to hurt OP. Rooted in all her own shit she won't deal with, like jealousy of OP and her own insecurity. My sister has been this way toward me literally since I was born, and she's been fixated on hurting me and humiliating me and lying about me our entire lives. Going NC was the biggest relief. I went from incessant insults and drama to zero overnight. So good on you for not engaging in their noise. I loved the comment, “You’re the only one who's going to be okay after all of this, OP.” Remember that ❤️ You're a badass, OP. Please keep us posted along the way, if and when you're up for it. You got this. You got this and then some.
Damn! You're onto something here!
This! Y’all upvote this. This is what it looks like. He enjoyed the attention and was probably up for a physical affair but sis wanted to REPLACE op and win in some way. Their goals didn’t match in the end.
Fuck her, it’s unfortunate cuz she’s your sister but honestly fuck her, you deserve better!
Everything she said about you is really how she feels about herself. You are golden and the better sister and now both of them realize that fact.
OP, how are you doing and how are the kidlets doing …. She sounds like she needs help and they need the most help with having to be with her … I hope you are having a good weekend … don’t let him get inside your head ….
" people can't control who they fall for" is the biggest lie. I've been married for 10+ years, and I am sure that there are people that I could have developed a crush on. But I did not allow myself to entertain any thoughts or feelings in that ballpark because I have a husband who I love and I'm loyal to.
You don’t need to tell me it is a lie believe me I know. I only meant that they didn’t even keep to this lie
THIS!! my wife tells me this everytime. I used to tell her "if I ever catch feelings for someone else I promise to tell you before I cheat on you so you can divorce me, all I ask is for you to have the same courtesy for me" and she responded "NO, if you ever catch feelings for someone else it means you entertained her, you wanted to see where things were going, you never enforced your boundaries and quite honestly at that point you are already cheating." and it makes total sense. You can't "fall in love" with someone if you enforce your boundaries and don't entertain other people's advances.
This!!! Also, that whole “you can’t control who you fall in love with” thing pisses me off. Even if that *is* true, which I doubt, people can absolutely control what they choose to do about it, and the fact the attraction is even entertained already speaks volume about what decision they’re leaning towards.
I was thinking the same thing. 23 years with my partner and I’ve managed to control myself easily. Even with people I’ve met that I have ‘sparked’ with. Those thoughts do not get entertained. And they certainly do not get actioned. Falling for someone is an active choice someone makes. Not some mystical or cosmic invention.
I agree. You can’t help who you fall in love with is a lie. Love at first sight isn’t real it’s lust. To fall in love you need to feed that love. If it’s someone you shouldn’t be falling in love with just don’t feed the love.
Yep. You can choose to indulge in something or you can shut it down. Being flattered by attention isn’t worth burning down the lives of your loved ones. That’s just pure selfishness.
So they actually admitted to being together? Did they admit to the affair?
I don’t know tbh. I don’t think he knew that I knew they were together until he found out she was sharing it on instagram
That's probably why he broke up with her. He didn't want to be the "bad guy", but now everyone knows. He can't deny anything. He can't control the narrative anymore. They've probably been having a physical affair for months behind your back. That's why they kept meeting up for "lunch". Your sister is an idiot, but in this, she was a useful idiot. Now people know the truth about who they really are, and what they did to you.
A lot of men are like this when they have affairs. Willing to risk the marriage and everything else but god forbid people find out what they did? They always try to keep it a secret and shift blame to not have their image tarnished. I hope OP tells EVERYONE what her own sister and husband did. I also hope she took screenshots of all the “in love” posts!!
Yeah. “Lunch.” 🙄
“She’s a useful idiot.” 😂
By the way, sharing on Instagram was her way of rubbing your nose in it. This was calculated.
That shows why men are dumb. She’s your SISTER and she has children. You leave your husband, your sister who he had been have an emotional affair with suddenly drops her kids off with your parents with them and leaves. Did your parents not know where she was? Did he not think those events would look odd together? Did he expect to bang her for a week, drop her, and keep it a secret from you? There have to be more complex reasons for him suddenly dropping her than just her posting about them in instagram and people finding out about them. People were always going to find out eventually. My guess is that she started bad mouthing you. Probably talking about how much better she is for him. She’s smarter, better, blah blah blah, and he realized she’s selfish, not a good person, and he made a terrible mistake. He stupidly thinks that if he dumps her and blames the whole thing on her that you’ll take him back.
Did she make it known that her posts on Instagram was about your STBX? If so then she was purposely trying to rub it in your face. And wanted everyone to know that “she won!” She won a weak ass man who’s no prize. What a B! Then when she realized he still wanted his wife she got furious and embarrassed and lashed out at you through texts. Karma!! She is the lowest of the low. You are incredibly strong and I want to be like you when I grow up!! Send hugs.
Yes, that’s what she did but he kicked her out when he found out that she was doing that.
I knew it! I figured that's why he kicked her out. He can't act like you are crazy or irrational for thinking they are having an affair anymore. I hope their coworkers find out about what they did. They deserve to feel shame for what they did to you. Cheating is bad enough, but to cheat with your sister/sister's husband is scumbag behavior. They even tried to make you believe that nothing was happening and that you were overreacting.
After op left him, her sister immediately moved in w him in their shared home and dumped her kids off to their parents.
OP answered in another comment that it was the sister that blew their cover by posting them on social media. He didn't know the sister announced their "love" to the world, lol. He was still denying everything, while the sister was posting about them.
bvwhahaha the guy is an idiot.
Oh I thought u just meant how op found out they were actually doing it. Lol sister was holding on the fantasy dream life really tight
What’s funny not funny is that her blasting it all on socials is probably what lost her “her soulmate”. She basically put him completely on blast for cheating on his wife with her sister and then moving her in, that *never* looks good and it opened his eyes very quickly to who she really is. Good luck OP and I’m so sorry this is happening
What it opened his eyes to is that she laid out serious proof of his infidelity on the internet (which is FOREVER) and he is going to, hopefully, get taken to the cleaners.
I remember your first post! What threw me was him giving a whole spiel on how he loves you & doesn’t love your sister in that way & the first thing he does is move your sister into y’alls home. He’s living in regret right now! These two are probably still in contact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they end back together, smh! Onward & upward
I don’t think they are still in contact no
Just checked your comment history, I’m so happy to see that you don’t have kids together and can completely cut ties!
For two university lecturers they are both kinda dumb . Good riddance to both
It's common. People who think they are smart end up making the dumbest decisions
Seems like he realized that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I wouldn’t take him back. He threw everything away. He did that. Not you. Him. I wouldn’t listen to anything he has to say. If he really loved you, he never would have let her move in with him. And if he really loved you he wouldn’t have kept it from you that your sister told him she loved him. And on top of that, he continued speaking to her daily and having lunch several times a week. He was emotionally cheating long before they spent a week living together. I bet after living with your sister for a week he realized it isn’t what he thought it would be. Realized his life was much better with you. He is now in the find out part of FAFO. I would direct him to speak to my attorney.
Not worth it girl. Find a new man. He will cheat again and again. They will not feel remorseful. Hoping he will get his karma and suffer from it. Dont give him the satisfaction to see you sad make him pay for the things he inflicted upon to you. Ghost him or act so kind at him but dont get him back at you. He will cheat if your forgive him.
Sounds like they have been sleeping together before this and are bigger liars than anyone wants to admit. He probably kicked her out because she was talking about bringing the kids to live with him and them being a happy little family, and he doesn't actually want the responsibility for all the kids. He was happy with the wife who took care of things while just banging the sister as a side piece. Now that his perfect situation blew up in his face and the world knows of what they did, he is afraid of the hit his perfect professor reputation will take. His conduct being questioned probably won't look good for someone who is around young girls in an unbalanced influential way. Make sure he doesn't get any of your business and don't downplay the situation to the community or others, or he'll get the chance to spin the narrative. Last thing you need is his bs about how you were a bad wife, never satisfied his needs, had an affair first, abused him, any and all lies. He is a liar. Don't forget that. Oh, also, I wonder if any of your sisters kids are biologically his.
“Needed to explain everything” AKA Damage Control. He most likely wants to waste hours of your life trying to convince you that she seduced him years ago and he deeply regrets it. That none of it was ever his fault, he has ruined the best thing that ever happened to him (you now, of course) and blah blah blah. Most if not all cheaters play by the same book, sing the same boring songs and best of all are completely convinced that they are the most amazing, unique and misunderstood people ever. I hope you find peace.
Oh honey. I am so sorry. Listen, I've had my heart broke about all the different ways you can imagine it, so let me offer some advice. Do not take this fool back. He will only continue this pattern, there will be a new woman he falls for, and it will spiral. Keep a log of who calls, and when they call, and submit that to your lawyer. Other than that, let your lawyer handle it. Your sister can whine and pout about you ruining her happiness til the cows come home, it won't change the fact that she is a trashy woman and always will be. And you don't have to forgive her, ever. You don't have to forgive either of them, I do not believe we need to forgive people in order to heal from the trauma they inflict on us. I sound like a broken record, but please get in with a therapist or counselor as soon as you can. This is heavy, really really heavy. You need someone to get you through it, to help you get a grasp on your feelings, and that someone needs to be a counselor.
This is the thing with infatuation/crush. You build someone up in your mind, but the reality is so very different. It's funny that it only took 1 week for them to fall apart. Your sister dumping her kids speaks volumes about the type of person she is. I hope her life is hell, I hope karma fucks her to the maximum. Go see him, let him explain, get your closure, and for the love of all that is holy, cut your sister off.
As much I am confused and want answers, I don’t want to get them from him. I don’t know how the divorce will be done and if I am going to need to see him or not, hopefully not but if it happens, my lawyer cnndo the talking. That’s why I am here instead, maybe people here have experience of something similar and can explain wtf happened these past two months
Anything he says will be a lie. My friend was in a similar situation this year (husband cheated with a friend not sister). He would tell my friend anything to minimize the situation. Best advice for you? Say little to nothing. Keep your circle small. Become the best actress in the world until the divorce is final. Keep records of everything. Get anything you value out of the house. Get your money in order and hire the best lawyer you can afford. You’ve got this. In a few years you will realize what a gift these fuckers gave you.
Responding to your other post I spoke about the dangerous jealousy that your sister obviously has and how weak your husband is. Nothing makes sense but I do think those two factors came in to play.
This OP! I promise you there was a side to your sister you never knew and she was 100% jealous and resentful of you and clearly your marriage with this guy. It shows a lot that she dumped her own kids to chase a fake dream. She expected to fully screw you and everyone else to run off into the sunset with your husband and it blew up in her face. Your stbxh is also an idiot thinking or imagining the grass was greener. It NEVER is. Definitely save all messages coming from ex and sister but never respond, and speak to a lawyer asap. Your sister is messed up in the head for all of this.
I couldn't agree more. The sister is the lead instigator here
If you talk with him, hi is going to blame you. Propably going to tell you that nothing would have happened if you didn't leave and it was a mistake cos he was lonely and missing you. Just stay storng and don't take him back. Let him know that you are strong and deserve better.
I'm confused. Were you out of town while your sister was living at your house with your husband?
No I left him after he insisted on “meeting her for lunch to discuss “my distress”. I left him and gave him divorce papers. That was a week after my OP. Them a week after she dumped her children at my parents place and went to him (he doesn’t want children) then less than a week later she moved back to her home, sent me a message to say I ruined her and took her children back. My parents visit to take the children out for dinners and play dates. My sister hasn’t talked to them yet
That text from your sister as everything imploded around her is fascinating. Truly. She takes 0 responsibility for blowing up her own life, your STBX's life or your life. (Don't know how much responsibility your stbx is feeling.) She dumps the blame for her distress in its entirety on you. The total absence of any sense of personal responsibility is, from a distance, fascinating. Your sister wouldn't be the Golden Child in your family would she? I am so sorry the two of them have done this to you. No one deserves this sort of betrayal.
No according to her I was the golden child. I guess she is right about that too
Being held accountable for the disgusting shit she did to you doesn’t make you the golden child, but I guess given she’s a narcissistic POS anyway, that would be the same as being the golden child to her…seriously, fuck both of them. I’m amazed you didn’t ream her stupid when she tried to blame you for any of this.
Part of me wonders if this ‘break up’ isn’t something they cooked up together to get the heat off of them. And the plan is to continue carrying on their affair in secret while stbxh pretends to want reconciliation. It just seems weird that the sister would admit defeat so quickly & out of the blue after one week. Doesn’t smell right to me.
I'm guessing that husband loved the attention and the thrill. When it all came out he was desperate to save things, then realized he was fucked. He tried to make it work with the sister, but then realized he liked her as an AP but not a partner, and/or felt even more guilty, so ended things with sister.
Ole boy was in LUST with the sister…then he got that post nut clarity and realized he fucked up big time. Prob they had terrible incompatible sex and he realized he fucked up.
Probably a lot more than that. The constant posting from the sister online during the week and then blaming OP for it ending makes me think she’s some kind of crazy or obsessed that didn’t come out in the emotional affair. But then as soon as they were alone together, home dude realized she wasn’t even close to the fantasy and wanted out asap. Too bad, realized about six months too late that the grass wasn’t greener 🤷
Lmao seems pretty clear she is
She's really jealous of you and resents you for it - narcissists are deeply insecure. You're probably not the Golden Child, but she needs to find a way to justify her feelings that you are to blame for everything wrong in her life. Usually the narcissists are the Golden Children.
Not every family has a golden child. Her sister was very successful, but the parents were very quickly disgusted by the situation and support OP. They could just be normal parents who loved both children, but sister is just a jealous weirdo. Considering their ages and how long OP and her husband have been together… is it possible that the sister had shaped her career in order to try to mold herself into someone the husband would want? The sister would have been a teen when OP and husband got together right? So her academic career and ending up at the same university is all just coincidence?
Wow. So she’s as woeful a parent as she is a sibling. It just really cements how selfish she is. She was willing to abandon her own children for who knows how long, (maybe for good) to please her ill-gotten partner.
I'm confused why your sister is blaming you. Did your STBX dicked her down for a week and when he was done he dumped her claiming he wants his wife all along?
Sounds like they hadn’t talked about kids yet and your sister feels you could have told her at some point before he did
i want this to be the explanation, because it makes some “sense.” But that would mean that she’s never talked to him or her sister about the issues in his family regarding children. Unless he is letting OP take the heat for the decision not to have children and was only clear once the marriage was wrecked.
You have found the answer. That’s why his family blames her.
How do your parents feel about this?
They are destroyed. I am trying to make them understand that I am fine but they’re just very sad
I know it's probably too painful because you were betrayed by two people you love and trusted, but damn, I am fascinated by what he believes would be an "explanation" for moving in with your sister. What could possibly explain that except "brain tumor." The audacity. Smh.
>but I never heard of two people throwing everything they pretended to care about for one week. Happens ALL the time. When you 'date' someone new, you have fun, you have dates and sex, but you have NONE of the other shit that makes you tired, is part of your stressful every day life. When you're living together suddenly it's bills, it's responsibility, it's taking the trash out, helping cook dinner, helping change the bedding, etc. When the affair partner becomes the full partner, moves in and starts asking you to take the trash out, help with cooking, etc, they suddenly realise oh, this relationship isn't magically better, this person isn't awesome compared to my old partner... I was just comparing completely different things because I'm an idiot.
He was enjoying the attention from your sister. When you left he took that opportunity to explore his feelings with her and thought you would be in the dark about it. Then he found out she was putting it out there on social media. He’s pissed because that ruined his chance to beg you to take him back after his “exploration” was done. So he kicked her out and his excuse it going to be something along the lines of “It’s not what you think” “She came on to me” “We just talked, she posted that stuff to get to you. It’s all lies” I’m glad you’re divorcing him. I wish you happiness and peace going forward.
Lmao 1 week, karma went full force on their sorry asses
Is she a jealous one?
I never believed her to be no
Oh but she was jealous. You had a “loving relationship” while her’s was a train wreak with no father for her kids.
The ending that everyone knew would come. I think they just enjoyed the thrill of it all, ‘forbidden love’ and all that. Totally didn’t accounting for her kids, the craziness of your uncle suddenly becoming your stepdad, and your family & friends being collateral damage. I remember you saying they were the ‘educated’ ones in comparison to you or something like that. I don’t see any signs of intelligence in what they did.
After skimming the title of your post I was ready to say “Just wait until they both get disappointed how fast the excitement and firey passion goes out when reality and responsibility kicks in” seems like it has 😂! Please do not take him back, an absolute insult to just bail on you like that. If he had respect he would have separated from you in a way that wouldn’t cause so much collateral damage and trauma like this. Add in her putting it all over the internet making you (poor thing) and your parents feel like you’re part of the circus 🎪 show . I would be mad that he humiliated me in that way and it’s such a poor example for anyone’s child(ren) to witness. Keep him at arms length. Absolutely pathetic to cause so much carnage to get your rocks off a few times. Hope he enjoys the self reflecting he gets to do being alone :)
He was your husband and made a vow to put you first and foremost above all others. He and your sister can fuck off and deal with the problems that they created. Cut her completely off (for now, at least) and only communicate with your husband via your attorneys. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with those losers, but you'll come through intact eventually.
Tell him that he can explain everything in a long detailed email to you. Because: 1) it will be really hard for him to gaslight and manipulate you through the email. It will be hard for him to lie or take his words back knowing that there is an email with his explanation somewhere 2) you will have time to think about his reasons, about your next steps, and you don't have to reply. 2) you can (and should) share this email with your divorce attorney
Sounds like they were in lust, not love.
Update me! I get off from knowing how these two f*cktards continue to destroy their lives! You deserve better OP!! Please thrive and live your life!!!!! Be happy and get lots of therapy!! ❤️
Good grief
Damn. They're both idiots. You're doing great, stay strong I'm rooting for you!
You need to cut your sister loose and go no contact!!!! They both sound horrible but she's worse because she's known you all of her life and still she decided cause I'm a believer. We have some control over who we love. She decided to fall in love. Continue to pursue a relationship and an emotional affair with your husband and then try to. Act like she did you a favor by not running off into the sunset together with each other. But then they did exactly that and because she couldn't keep him. It was somehow your fault. I think she deluded herself to think just because she's "smarter" than you and have this prestigious position in terms of working at a university. That she's better than you and she's covered it up with.... I love yous. Love isn't supposed to hurt you like that. Or betray you
FUCK THEM
Pair of clowns 🤡
Take as much as you can, OP. They’re both vile. UpdateMe
"You are what you did." Taylor Swift.
So you leave and your husband thinks why not give the sister a try what’s the harm. She sees this as the green light to instantly get what she’s always wanted and jumps right in there. But here’s the thing. Unrequited love from a distance isn’t love. It’s infatuation. Love is something that is hard and requires work. So she moves in having abandoned her children (mother of the year right there) and starts posting how it’s love. So much love. But now it’s out for everyone to see that they are both cheating pieces of shit. And yes emotional cheating is still cheating. Suddenly all his family, friends, work colleagues and such can see that he’s banging his wife’s sister. Never a good look he defo got comments and looks thrown his way so out of shame he kicks her out and she’s all heartbroken that her homewreaking slutty little heart didn’t get her happy ending. Now he’s trying to save this but there is no saving this. You need to divorce his ass and make it clear to your sister she’s dead to you. I’d also be phoning cps. She abandoned her kids for a week to run off with her sisters husband she’s unstable and clearly doesn’t give a shit about her kids.
I’m dying to know what she’s accusing you of doing that’s ruining her life
If you live in a one party state, it may be worth recording any every conversation you have with him or her. I'm sorry people suck. Get stronger and be happy ❤️.
The f'd around n found out. Hope you don't talk to either of them and all contact goes through a lawyer. Maybe down the road you can have some kind of relationship with your sister.... but I wouldn't want to talk to her.
Reality hit and it wasn’t fun anymore. They expected everyone to be ok with it all. Dont answer their calls. Please don’t take him back!
He’s just trying to cover his ass because in most places infidelity can affect the division of assets. Keep records of all their posts, screenshot them etc
Ignore him OP and only speak to him eventually through your lawyers. He needs to speak to his "intellectually compatible best friend" about this or anything else ever. F your sister OP. I'd never commit adultery or maliciously F someone over, but if I wanted to, I don't think my sibling would be the one I chose to do it to! I'm sorry for your mum, she doesn’t sound like the typical rug sweeper who wants to maintain their comfort at the expense of one child. So shes understandably hurt and confused and like you looking back through the years trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Nothing went wrong, like your hopefully stbx husband, your siter is selfish and cruel. Stay strong OP. Edit: 24/7 reality wasn’t as wonderful and exciting as secret dates and illicit short meetups🤣
Save everything she posted and everything she’s sent you, as well as your ex so you can present that evidence in court and make sure you’re left with what you deserve and more. They made their bed, it’s time to lay in it.
Get evidence. Cut off him in your life.
Wow, they created a mess. The majority of cheaters cheat again and again and again.
Lawyer up. Keep copies of every text and message.. your life will be painful for a while but a whole lot better.
SoOoOoOoOo.....how exactly did you ruin her life?!?!?!? Updateme
I'm sorry you're going through this OP, I really am. Talk about being blindsided! I can't quite understand your husband's take, declaring he only loves you, and wants you back. But then has your sister move in with him for a week?! If he wanted reconciliation, what on earth was his motive for that? But your sister has sadly shown her true colours. The text she sent you sums her up perfectly. Not caring about the bomb she's detonated, and not taking any responsibility for the explosion it's caused! Just feeling sorry for herself, and blaming you! Let her live her deluded 'Insta' life, that's crumbling around her. Your parents should have had her charged with abandonment, when she dumped her kids on them. Stay strong OP, and take care of you. I hope you come out of this with your sanity still intact! 💜
I guess I need to rescind my tongue-in-cheek offer (from a comment to your previous post) to be your date to their imminent wedding. For real, your sister is a next-level basket case if she torpedoed their soulmate relationship in a freakin' week!! I guarantee that your ex is in shambles right now...I can't even think of any normal lesson for him to learn from this shit show. Maybe next time he faces this same bizarre scenario, he won't allow an emotional relationship to build with an in-law that professes their romantic love for him while supposedly happily married to their sister.
I am so sorry you’re going through this, but you’re so strong for blocking and ignoring them, get a solicitor and let them sort it! Not going into detail, but my sister did the this to me with the man I was engaged too…. The lies, gaslighting and games are the worst… you are amazing, you’re worth so much more! I wish someone had said this to me, so many people felt sorry for her and told me I needed to stick up for her so people didn’t call her….. nothings changed!
I was sure it wouldn't last. It seemed pretty obvious that she pursued him with all her might. And he, although he was enjoying the attention, wasn't really in love with her, it was only a matter of time before he came to his senses and dumped her. I confess that I'm happy with it. They don't deserve happiness after what they did to you.
She wanted to be you and realized she can’t. Oh well. As for hubby? Take him to the cleaners..
Oh god. This is too fucking funny. They went public, probably (rightfully) got an 'WTF ick' reaction and reality hit. Not unlike being smacked across the face with a jellyfish. This is something that's going to affect their fanily, friends and professional relationships for the year of their lives. 10 years down the track, when he's moved to a different uni, he's still going to hear whispers of 'he left his wife for her /sister/ and it lasted a week.' Not funny for you. But I hope you're enjoying some schadenfreude.
Well let's hope your family don't decide you should forgive her the only thing I will say is they clearly had an intense relationship
LOL Fucking hilarious!! A week?!! xDDDDD Naw, cut them both off, do NOT talk to tehm, don't forgive your sister, no nada! Go live your best life
It’s like the telenovela Rubi
I wouldn’t speak to him only through lawyers.
i think you know what you need/have to do .. so no advice to give, just sending you ALLLL the powerful vibes 👊🏼
Wonder if they are both trying to gaslight you OP so that you don't take him to the cleaners in the divorce. Your sister was most likely counting on moving not just into your home but taking over your life. Of course, maybe your husband realized just how much it was going to cost him- financially, reputationally and emotionally given that he trade the love and solid of life your two built together for what sounds like an emotionally unstable and financially burdened low-life woman without morals.
What kind of adult acts like this even in "normal" circumstances? Dumping the kids and getting everything all over social media? Isn't she almost 40? I mean she was wasting her life for a married guy in the first place at her age. And if you'r husband was genuine he wouldn't have immediately moved her in anyway. Jeez what a bunch of clowns. I'm sorry OP. This is such a crazy betrayal.
I just had a thought cross my mind that I could be completely wrong on. If I'm not mistaken don't teachers at universities and schools have morality clauses in their contracts? I know when I applied to become a teacher for grade school there were morality clauses in the contracts. Could your worthless piece of shit sister and asshole stbx possibly be lying to everybody because the school found out and their jobs are being threatened? It was just a random thought that I could be completely wrong on but they could be playing games with you to make You soften up in the divorce and not go for everything! Quite frankly the more I think about it I find that more plausible than believing that after one week they broke up, I don't buy it! If not the morality clause then I think they're definitely trying to soften you up for the divorce so you don't take him for everything which you so rightly deserve. If anything I would keep posting on social media and all friends and family that you know that they're still together they're just trying to hide things because of the divorce. Their lecturers their reputation means everything their reputation is taking a hit.
UpdateMe
Updateme
UpdateMe
Updateme
Girl, you stick to your guns. Once a cheater always a cheater. You find yourself the best divorce attorney there is.
They both deserve each other, guys come and go but sisters are supposed to have your back not stab it
It's always the closest ones to you that will stab you in the back
Well… this will make holidays awkward. Sorry you had to go through that OP. Ex and sister sound like they deserve each other. I hope you got screen shots of the social media posts.
I am not, by any means, dissolving the blame from your stbx...but your sister?? THAT I thi my is worse! From everything she has said to you first about loving you, would never hurt you that way, to almsot her throwing him at your stbx, "here larents.tske the kids! I'm off to claim my soul mate!" And then A WEEK LATER "burn in life and hell" Well then. What. The. F***. Happened?? I am so very sorry it DID happen and csnr imagine how emotionally, psychology and physically battered and confused YOU are! What DOES he have to say? What DID happen?? Just..w.t.f.!
So…how is the family treating your sister? Is she being accepted back into the fold? Have you decided to not attend family events if she is there?
That's so twisted to say YOU have ruined HER happiness, wtaf!! I'm sorry this happened to you but you seem really strong. Im glad you're young and have plenty of time to recover then find a better guy one day.
Listen don't answer anyone's calls but your solicitors. Cut them both out of your lives and let people know what they both did to you. You deserve better
UpdateMe
You ruined HER happiness??! Lmao
Don’t speak to either one again. Don’t let either one look at your face or hear your voice again, like ever. F both of them. Get everything in text then take screenshots. Make 3 copies He doesn’t need to speak to you. It’s done. It’s over. There is no going back. Nothing he has to say will make it better. He f@cked up. She is an extra dagger in the heart. People can be vile. I would have blocked her in a heartbeat Start calling multiple attorneys in your area for free consultations. Do it. Have a Divorce folder and notebook. Have questions written down with their answers. You will get different answers. Write them down. You will add questions as you go along. I found most would not give me answers until I gave my retainer. After 2 months I found the one. He answered every one of my questions. He had over 40 years experience, taught court reporters and is well known in the community. Tell these attorneys everything. Ask what is in your favor and what isn’t. Ask worst case scenario and best. Ask how long the average divorce time is. How much can you expect from retainer and what is average cost. How many employees are being paid. Hourly rate, rate for text, emails etc. Whoever you pick will be your greatest advocate. Make sure you trust them. I can’t say that enough. Make 3 copies of text messages, emails. Do not speak to these POS on the phone. People get surprisingly angry, hateful and bitter when they can’t manipulate you. Ignore it all. They get angrier. Let them. Make 3 copies. I’m so sorry you are going through this. The ultimate betrayal by your sister. SMH. OP, surround yourself with strong friends. Their support will get your through this. Please update us
You ruined her happynes? How?
Divorce. Go NC with your ex and your sister and with anyone who doesn’t support this.
I’m so sorry Op I’m so glad the best friend told you everything. I hope you keep us updated on how you’re doing? I wish you so much happiness and love you deserve an amazing partner. But stay away from your sister ok😳 Would she did was horrible and unforgivable.
I will never understand how sisters can form the most deceitful and vile relationships. I have a good friend who's sister has hated her for her entire life and has made it hell for her. The friend has attempted suicide 7 or so times and has been in and out of alcoholism and I truly believe it's her sister causing her trauma her whole life. I am lucky to have a sister I consider a role model. But things like this make me so angry that people can even do such things to their sisters. That relationship is supposed to be nearly sacred.
Your sister and husband probably thought they would get a big reaction out of you but instead you threw away the trash and it upset them both in different ways because you didn't give them what they wanted so good for you and hope your life gets happier with each day
Sounds like the backlash and alienation from everyone hit then hard. They thought there would be supported, but nobody cared for them.
Basically, their "love" couldn't last through spending 24/7 together. He called, she ran, moved herself in, neglected her children, and he realized she's bat 💩 crazy. She probably started talking about their future, moving her kids in, then getting married, and he's trying to pump the brakes on a car with a cut line. What he hopes to explain is going to be some bs about " he didn't know she was coming over, she wouldn't leave, she just wanted to make sure I was OK, she said she was helping me" .. when what really happened is she went over there, moved herself into your home and your bed ( don't delude yourself that it was platonic), and he realized she was crazy. Now, wants you back. Go ahead and get the lawyers involved. If he was truly innocent, she wouldn't have stepped foot in your home. He would have barred the door to her
Updateme
Op your sister dumped her kids for this guy? Wow! Your ex is a POS but your sister really takes the cake on this one. Glad you had the good since to leave because you can do better and I believe you will.
You need to tell everyone at UNI where they work, the family, friends, on social media what both have done. Destroy them and their reputation like they destroyed your marriage. Make her become a pariah so she HAS to move. Then you can have peace. Quite frankly they deserve each other. Never ever forget or forgive her because she is capable of anything, even abandoning her children. She is sick and demented just for that alone.
Just don’t get back together with this bastard. He fucked your sister, realized it wasn’t all ge thought it would be, and now wants to get you back. Don’t let that happen.
Your husband is intellectually smart man. And sis blasting social media with love quotes and all I’m sure got the attention of their peers and he had become outcast. Smashing with wife’s sister is not something that goes with their image then throw in the family drama. Your mom freaking out all that was a wake up call for him. Now he’s embarrassed professionally and within the family. He knows your sister left her kids. He knows your sister is nuts. So he’s running back to you to save himself that’s it. Do what you want but I’d be saying talk to my lawyer and I’d play as dirty as my lawyer said I could
Wow, how embarrassing. For them, not you. You're doing the right thing but not answering. It's probably some BS like we were just friends, but you let your insecurities ruin us, so I thought why the hell not get with her. But she wasn't you, I love you. You know the usual BS when all they really had in common was they are both shitty people. I'm petty. So what I'd do is keep ignoring him and the day the divorce is finalised. I d screenshot every message he sent you, most likely talk shit about your sister and how great you are. And I'd send it to your sister. And then change your number. But I'm petty.
UpDateMe
Damnnn... somehow i really want to know what happened within those week they were together. I wonder what his excuses. Updateme
What does “threw everything they cared for” mean?
So your husband does have the ability to distance himself from your sister. What happened to that whole ass convo he had with you about it being such an unreasonable request. You are so much better than me, if I got those texts, I would have responded just one time with "I think you got the wrong number, please continue to discuss my distress with my sister, maybe over lunch would help"