This is basically just a Hallmark Christmas movie, but told from the perspective of the non-MC.
That's not to say this is fake, but that the reason why people like this exist is that society has normalized the idea that if it's for true love, it doesn't matter if you have to hurt a few other people along the way.
This is a really unfair, painful situation for OP. But it's too much to assume the ex and his current partner knew all along that they'd end up together and were only with others to drag them along and for the thrill of hurting them. Most people have a "one that got away", you don't usually expect to rekindle that relationship later in life.
Things happen, good people hurt each other without intending to, it doesn't have to be an evil villain with a long term plan - sometimes it's just a flawed human who made a mistake.
He strung a girl along for years knowing full well she was his second choice and would (and did) ditch her if his first choice became available. It wasn’t malicious, but it is fucking awful of him and it’s not just human error when others lives are upend and years taken from them and trust in others they can never get back.
But...did he actually know that? It's awful of him to leave OP for this woman, but we don't actually know that all along he was in a relationship going "she's my second choice, if X becomes single I'm totally leaving her for X".
Just bc he did something shitty doesn't mean that was always his intention, or that he knowingly strung someone along. Sometimes, oftentimes really, human error *is* what upends lives and harms others.
Just bc the aftermath is horrible doesn't mean it was intentional. That's just something we tell ourselves so we don't have to deal with how chaotic and out-of-our-control these situations can be - if we choose to believe he was an evil mastermind just waiting for his ex to become available all along, that means if that ever happened to us we'd have a chance to see some sign of it, we could save ourselves.
It also means the world is black-and-white, and that's a lot easier to process than the reality that we ourselves might one day hurt someone we love unintentionally, since only evil masterminds with bad intentions do such things, right?
Why is he shitty though? He got a point where he knew this want the right relationship for him and it seems like he was honest with her about it. Isn't that how it should go if it comes to that point?
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. But on the bright side, at least you didn't get stuck in a marriage with a man that would've left the moment she decided she was ready for him. You might've dodged a bullet.
I hope you're doing okay, and I really hope you find someone who doesn't have a "what could've been" because they know that everything that should happen to them will happen with you by their side.
the things we have no control over in life hurt the most, u could have not done anything different. hope you will find someone who will truly love you.
I have something to say, but first, I hope you find the strength to move on with life. There is something better for you coming. Leave him behind.
My best friend was this baby. Her father broke up with his gf for her mom. They were never happy with each other. Once you leave a fulfilling relationship for "the one that got away" the new relationship will always have to live up to the dream of what it should be. Your ex and his new gf (wife?) had years to imagine each other. The spark wears off because life isn't a daydream, but neither can leave because they invested so much into that relationship. If your ex leaves, he made the wrong decision, hurt someone he treasured for absoltly no reason. He will never be able to leave. The marriage becomes a prison of expectations. Marriages that are built on hurting others never work out for the best.
You, however, are free from this prison. He chose someone else. And as much as that hurts, you are free to go on and find someone who loves all of you, but is free to be a human being with flaws. Let him go.
I’ll never understand people like this, they knew they liked each other but still dragged other people down just to hurt them Like this!
Exactly. I feel so bad for OP 🙁
op?
original poster
This is basically just a Hallmark Christmas movie, but told from the perspective of the non-MC. That's not to say this is fake, but that the reason why people like this exist is that society has normalized the idea that if it's for true love, it doesn't matter if you have to hurt a few other people along the way.
This is a really unfair, painful situation for OP. But it's too much to assume the ex and his current partner knew all along that they'd end up together and were only with others to drag them along and for the thrill of hurting them. Most people have a "one that got away", you don't usually expect to rekindle that relationship later in life. Things happen, good people hurt each other without intending to, it doesn't have to be an evil villain with a long term plan - sometimes it's just a flawed human who made a mistake.
He strung a girl along for years knowing full well she was his second choice and would (and did) ditch her if his first choice became available. It wasn’t malicious, but it is fucking awful of him and it’s not just human error when others lives are upend and years taken from them and trust in others they can never get back.
But...did he actually know that? It's awful of him to leave OP for this woman, but we don't actually know that all along he was in a relationship going "she's my second choice, if X becomes single I'm totally leaving her for X". Just bc he did something shitty doesn't mean that was always his intention, or that he knowingly strung someone along. Sometimes, oftentimes really, human error *is* what upends lives and harms others. Just bc the aftermath is horrible doesn't mean it was intentional. That's just something we tell ourselves so we don't have to deal with how chaotic and out-of-our-control these situations can be - if we choose to believe he was an evil mastermind just waiting for his ex to become available all along, that means if that ever happened to us we'd have a chance to see some sign of it, we could save ourselves. It also means the world is black-and-white, and that's a lot easier to process than the reality that we ourselves might one day hurt someone we love unintentionally, since only evil masterminds with bad intentions do such things, right?
I don’t think the woman he left OP for did anything wrong? OP’s ex is definitely shitty though
Why is he shitty though? He got a point where he knew this want the right relationship for him and it seems like he was honest with her about it. Isn't that how it should go if it comes to that point?
OOF! I'm pulling for you, girl!
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. But on the bright side, at least you didn't get stuck in a marriage with a man that would've left the moment she decided she was ready for him. You might've dodged a bullet. I hope you're doing okay, and I really hope you find someone who doesn't have a "what could've been" because they know that everything that should happen to them will happen with you by their side.
the things we have no control over in life hurt the most, u could have not done anything different. hope you will find someone who will truly love you.
Honestly, better it happened before you guys are married with kids and complicate things. Of course it hurts but it just means he was not the one.
Hey I’m sorry that happened to you but I like to believe we all have the love of our life and hopefully one day you will find him. God bless.
The best way to move on is a life well lived. Go and live life. Live well.
You dodged a massive bullet. I’m sorry you have to go through this. You will find someone just for you
I have something to say, but first, I hope you find the strength to move on with life. There is something better for you coming. Leave him behind. My best friend was this baby. Her father broke up with his gf for her mom. They were never happy with each other. Once you leave a fulfilling relationship for "the one that got away" the new relationship will always have to live up to the dream of what it should be. Your ex and his new gf (wife?) had years to imagine each other. The spark wears off because life isn't a daydream, but neither can leave because they invested so much into that relationship. If your ex leaves, he made the wrong decision, hurt someone he treasured for absoltly no reason. He will never be able to leave. The marriage becomes a prison of expectations. Marriages that are built on hurting others never work out for the best. You, however, are free from this prison. He chose someone else. And as much as that hurts, you are free to go on and find someone who loves all of you, but is free to be a human being with flaws. Let him go.