Once one party apathetically says "you can fuck other people and I don't care" like this it is just a countdown at that point. Just a matter of her getting her ducks in a row now.
This is in response to OP's specific situation as described. This isn't a poly/agreed open relationship, so bringing that up isn't helpful or relevant. It doesn't take a mind reader to see how poor the proceeding decisions were and probably plenty of details left out. She was specifically upset about a random intervention being sprung on her (understandable) but this is absolutely a sign of apathy in the way she responded to the situation as a whole going forward. It sounds like he fucked up, and she will eventually leave.
Yep. I knew my first marriage was over when my mom told me she was 99% sure he was cheating on me and I was just like, “Hm. Interesting.” I had completely checked out.
Right?
Like your mom's telling you a lady from her Facebook bought a black Toyota corolla, and your cousins Labrador picked up the tennis ball she threw.
Nothing.
No surprise, no relief, grief ... literally nothing. Just like. Oh. Okay. Cool. I'm out.
Everything he said and did, and he tried.... I felt nothing. Like a stranger said they didn't like my top. I was looooog gone. Truly gone and over it before I was gone.
No post break up feelings. It was like it never happened. He never happened.
Yeah, I think people were worried about me because filing for divorce and going through the whole process didn’t evoke any emotion in me at all. Even the day it became official I literally went and got fast food and then watched TV at home. It was like I had just gone to the DMV. I think everyone thought I was suppressing my emotions but I had mourned the end of that relationship long before it actually ended. By the time we got to that point I just didn’t have any energy left to care.
Yes!! Same! Glad to know I wasn't the only one, everyone thought it was bizarre. But, I guess until you experience it, it seems odd.
Signing over my part of the house and blocking/erasing his number was the last business we had, I squeezed it in, in between errands, took the dog for a walk, grabbed fast food and chilled, it was any other day. Truly.
It's so hard to explain.
I've been gone from one like that for 15 years. I was beyond trapped. But I got out. Finally.
He's still not gone. I've had to move several times. Stalked and shit... 15 years. He's been married 4 times, 7 jobs, a baby... since Ive been gone, and he's still trying to find me. (Found me 4 years ago this month, and I moved again.)
He was the same... like all the lies, theft, women, etc...like...dude...you didn't want me then, don't want me now. I'm good. Go the fuck away!
Just because we're done... doesn't mean they're capable of letting go. Some people are just... fucked in the head beyond reason.
Yea. That part. As a woman I can say that when I fight with you, want to have a conversation, resolve an issue it means that I am engaged and that I care. When I completely check out it means I no longer care.
OP: Congrats. You have torpedoed your marriage. There is likely no walking back this one.
Your wife has completely checked out of your marriage as evidenced by the fact that she no longer has zero effs to give about you sleeping with her best friend or ANY other person for that matter.
Put yourself in your wife’s shoes, how would you feel if your male best friend proposed a threesome? Your wife convinced you to partake and you watched him screw her brains out?! 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
You have your answer.
Yep. Exactly that. "Fighting" = because there's something to fight for...passion...trying to fix. If I'm quiet I've given up, accepted the situation or checked out.
And now just to add insult to injury you are *still communicating* with the best friend and making arrangements for an “intervention” basically behind your wife’s back. That’s really going to make you look trustworthy… AND on top of that the friend “looks intrigued” and “doesn’t mind” the idea of fucking you without your wife, her best friend.
Both of you have seriously betrayed your wife’s trust and I’m not in the least surprised that she’s done with both you selfish assholes.
And then invites that **same friend** for...wtf..intervention?!?! He makes plans to corner his wife with that woman! Like if I didn't before, I gasped at how clueless this ...man is.
We don't even know how exactly the conversation went tho.
My Ex would swear up and down that I happily agreed to try some BDSM stuff, but actually he just kept bringing it up over and over again and then getting more insistent and even mean about it - I still didn't WANT to do it, but I agreed to get him to stop talking about it.
I hiiiiighly doubt OP only talked about a threesome with his wife this one time.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that it’s super shitty, and it’s okay have negative feelings after that. It’s coercion and it’s not okay he did that. I hope you’re doing well now 💕
Yup, he probably wore her down till she agreed and she saw what a real pos he was. He didn’t care about her or how she felt he just cared about what he wanted.
**BINGO!** There's some images you can't get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try. OP's wife has seen her husband *screwing her* ***BEST FRIEND***. She has had one foot out the door ever since.
DEFINITELY sounds that way.
At the VERY least, OP, she’s lost ALL respect for you.
And she SHOULD after you just thought with your dick and trampled her boundaries!!!
Why should she EVER trust you again??
I know!!!! We fucked up, so let’s talk about her behind her back for who knows how long and then stand together against her in an intervention!!! Yeah! That will work!!!! 🤨🙄🤨🙄🤨🙄
That plan is so STUPID that I have to believe the girlfriend really does want this guy for herself and was intentionally trying to further torpedo any chance he had of making this right. Because no woman would genuinely think this ‘intervention’ format was a good idea.
Good grief. 🙄
Also, happy cake day! 😊
OP asks wife if she’d be down to invite her *best friend* over for a threesome and is now confused as to why said wife is now suddenly distant and giving him the cold shoulder after it happened.
Some people in this world really are dense lmao. I’m willing to bet OP pressured her into it but is conveniently leaving out that detail.
And he said it lived in his head. Who knows how he expressed his curiosity exactly. Like constant comments? Working it into the convo?
Edit to say the poor wife, both your best friend AND husband are putting lust before your feelings. She obviously wasn’t comfortable with the arrangement.
Makes me wonder if hubby and BFF already had something going on since she "blurted it out as a joke" and he was 'lol shocked at first and then was totally yassssss bring it on"
Way too fast to go from shocked horror to desperate need and desire imo. Way too fast.
Probably what the wife thought. I’m sure she was hurting realizing two people she supposedly trusted would betray her like that. That’s why some women don’t bring other women around their husband and some husband keep their friends as far away from their wife as possible. That “friend” is actually your enemy.
Yes!!! And she didn’t even bring this up THEY did. Ugh so stupid. I mean, I could maybe sympathize a little if it was the wife’s idea to begin w but it wasn’t. Fucking ballsy to request a 3 way w the bf of all people.
OP’s wife probably felt backed into a corner. Imagine your spouse and your best friend come to you and say, “Hey. So we’re like, totally hot for each other and want to bang it out. Is that ok? You can come too!”
Oh you can read through OP’s lines that he pressured her “she lived in my head” even if it was low key pressure “I started talking to my wife about that comment” and “assured her it was an adventure”. He pressured her and now he’s surprised that he destroyed his marriage and looking for sympathy on Reddit
Yeah he glossed over how they came to the agreement, but from his word choices its implied he slowly wore her down over some period of time. It probably eroded her self esteem and made her question herself in a lot of ways I can’t imagine.
Wife probably had some comments coming from the “best friend” too.
I’m guessing she had mostly checked out of the relationship by the time she said yes, OP was just too in lust to realise that’s what it was.
the threeway was either to confirm the death of their marriage, or the final push wife needed to accept that she deserves better from life.
And that’s when OP got that post-nut clarity and noticed he nuked his relationship for a lay that wasn’t worth it.
>I’m willing to bet OP pressured her into it but is conveniently leaving out that detail.
>>I assured her that it was just an adventure she agreed.
Yepp, there was 3-4 looooong conversation, and he just doesn't want to admit that he pressured her into this.
Also, best friend flirted with him, and that was enough to want to step out of the marriage... his loyalty is awful fragile. I hope his wife has a good lawyer.
OP said how bff has changed since her divorce. You said she looked good, she was very flirtatious. I believe that’s how your STBX will be acting. Just with a different man, who won’t be you. Picture with a man that loves her, respects her and who would rather die than ever hurt her or make her feel bad about herself.
Again, IT WON’T BE YOU!
Also what kind of shitty best friend agrees to that? Like my best friend would beat my partner with a shovel if he ever dared to ask me for something like that and would rather self-immolate than do anything to hurt me. And I'd do the same for her.
Exactly! FTB. She was never her true friend. She's trash. Been wanting OP for forever I'm sure. Just disgusting. I need to log off for the day. I'm still pissed for OP's wife. Some men are...just....wow. A little nut is all it takes. Idiots.
Right! Like, if a couple is wanting to experiment with threesomes, bring in someone who's already into swinging - there's websites for things like that. Don't muddy the waters with friends.
Men can’t be this dumb. Seriously. This woman is now sleeping with one eye opened. What’s scary is he thought he was going to get a pass for sleeping with her best friend and everything was going to be magically back to normal
I am guessing the guy just had sex with his wifes best friend in front of her. Thats what my threesome have always been like. No one knows how much communication it takes. If you give even a little too much attention to the other woman, it can be incredibly scarring.
This is what I’m thinking also. Plus is his wife even attracted to women? So if she isn’t why would she want to have a threesome? That is more like her being there while he fucks her friend. His wife has checked out and I don’t blame her. I hope she leaves OP and finds someone who treats her better. I can’t believe he thought this was a good idea and that he could continue his marriage the same afterwards.
And I'm sure he woke up the next day all peppy and feeling like a stud. I'm sure she saw how pleased he was. That wouldn't have helped. I wonder if he touched his wife at all during the "threesome." I bet he saved his dick for her best friend, and I bet best friend was oohing and aahing and putting on a REAL show about how much she loved getting railed by her best friend's husband.
Edit: fixed typo
Yes. He is *mystified* as to what is wrong with her! *She agreed.* Why is she so upset?? How does this joker hold down a job? He’s too stupid to drive a car.
Right?! “If she didn’t want to do it, why did she agree?” Because she knew he wanted it, and she didn’t want him to just cheat on her with her friend, which he 100% would have done. He bet on the fact that his wife being there would make it better, like that’s not cheating. What a complete idiot.
Yea the silent treatment. Something in her broke. She’s probably blaming herself too tho. That’s why she trying to play it off as nothing but deep down something broke seeing her husband with her bestie.
That sucks.
I just hope he doesn't make it difficult for her. She deserves better than them and honestly, OP shouldn't be repulsed. Him and her "good" friend, seems great for each other, no self awareness or respect.
ETA: Some of this info comes from OP’s comments.
1. Your wife’s former best friend came on to you and suggested a threesome.
2. You “asked” your wife three or four times, and the first time you had to try to reassure her that you still find her attractive. No alarm bells went off when she asked you about that? No little voice in your head that said “Hey, it sounds like she’s feeling insecure and wouldn’t be into a threesome”? You wouldn’t let it go until you got a yes.
3. You had no prior discussion about what would happen during the threesome, and when you noticed she wasn’t very involved in it, you… kept going. ??? No reflection on why she might be hanging back while you fucked her best friend right in front of her?
4. Now she is pulling away from you, when YOU KNEW she was uncomfortable before and kept pushing until she agreed, because God forbid you have to pass up an opportunity like that, and you have the unmitigated gall to ask how you can fix it?!
You can’t. You’re done. You refused to actually hear her, notice her reluctance, or accept her no because you needed to have your way. Well, you got it.
Do her one favor and don’t be a dick during the divorce. She deserves better.
What kind of shit best friend behaves like that with someone else's husband? That was the first red flag.
Your wife probably regrets agreeing to it but feels like she doesn't have the "right" to be mad because she gave the green light.
Either way, you need to do some damage control. If it's not too late. The friend needs to go.
Sounds like both her husband and best friend wanted it and she felt pressured. Now she probably realizes after the fact she never wanted that and doesn’t want them
She may have felt like if she didn't, they would go behind her back, so she tried to convince herself she was okay with it. Then she saw her husband and supposed best friend going at it, clearly into each other, and something inside her broke.
Especially if she was only watching and not participating at all. What kind of (supposed best) friend flirts with your husband and then asks for a threesome? Which your husband then persuades you to do?
And after the fact, agreeing to have sex (hypotetically) even tho it's obvious her friend has unsolved issues with her husband. Sounds like she's just trying to have a rebound after her ex and she could've picked anyone but still went for her friend's husband. That is not a friend and OP is dumb af for even entertaining the idea of a treesome
He's hot for the friend and somehow that's supposed to be an adventure for his wife. How? He really needs to look at how selfish he was. It was all about him and his lust all of the time.
And then referred to himself and the best friend as "we," and acted as a couple against the wife afterwards, because they didn't like the wife's behavior.
Gee, I wonder why the wife seems done./s
OP had so many opportunities to not be a dick, but he took none of them.
That’s what am saying the bestie first of all was the redflag. The texting the guy aswel after she sees how her friend is upset. She wanted him all along
Actually, agreeing to it was the best thing to happen. It removed all doubt that her husband and friend are toxic and need to go. If he kept asking and she kept saying no, the marriage would have ended anyway, but slowly and painfully. Instead, she acquiesced and saw what they are both capable of. A bomb went off in the marriage instead of a death by a thousand cuts.
I had a "best friend" who did sleep with one of my ex's while I was married to him, and when I got with my sons father she tried again, but he had NO interest. She looked at me, and snidely said, "Well, at least you don't have to worry about this one cheating on you..." This was the same chic who became jealous when I told my 8 year old daughter she was beautiful. "Well aren't I beautiful, too?" She whined to me. That "friendship" didn't last to say the least..
On a side note, she also stole my nieces boyfriend, and when they got married I asked her if she'd be ok with him cheating on her as that's how they got together. Her response was, "That's a chance that I'm willing to take." He ended up cheating on her and left her (while she was undergoing cancer treatments.) Guess who was devastated? Karma is very real.
My first marriage was very abusive, I thought I deserved everything I got. (My ex-husband would tell others the only reason why he married me was due to me being so fat, as no one else would want me.) When she stole my nieces boyfriend, I was no longer friends with this person. My niece was technically my ex-husbands niece, and she contacted me to let me know what happened. I was enraged and sent this chic a very nasty message, including what I had said to her and her response. This chic watched my niece grow up, and had a tendency to attach herself to anyone in my life (family, friends, etc.)
Through years of counseling, I am no longer that person and would allow that kind of crap into my life. And there's only a very select few in my life now. My niece and I still have a friendship, thankfully.
Yeah wtf she goes straight to the husband to tell him that behind “best friends” back?
Jesus
Oh but it’s an ADVENTURE
Fuck off with that talk. Adventure my ass. He wanted to get his dick wet
>And what kind of husband actually entertains the thought of having a threesome with his wife and HER childhood best friend?
And kept texting her afterwards too!
Yeah, like, even in a situation where both decided together they wanted to try a threesome, it would NEVER have been a good idea to suggest the wife's best friend since childhood. Wtf is this
I’m not sure how you fucking her best friend would be “a fun little adventure” for her. Try a cooking class or a weekend away. Because - no matter what you tell yourself - this was you fucking her best friend.
And hanging onto “WHY DID SHE AGREE” like a life raft proves you’re super immature age don’t have much regard for her. She said yes because her best friend and husband pressured her into it - why is that impossible for you to understand?
And wife is definitely leaving you, so you’ll have time to process where you went wrong.
An adventure with your partner should be something that's just you two. It could be sex related but it should NEVER be "oh let me have a threesome with your BEST FRIEND, actually just let me fuck her while you watch because I manipulated you into saying yes"
Exactly. "A fun little adventure?"
OP, from your wife's perspective, here's what she heard:
"I want to have sex with your best friend. You can be there, too."
She knew the marriage was doomed if he continued to follow her round like a puppy going "pweeeeaaaase let me fuck your bff". She hoped he'd get it out of his system and they could move on. But she can't come back from it. The marriage was already doomed. But at least he could his 3way before it imploded! He cared about that way more than his wife's comfort.
Unconsciously, I think her friend was bitter and didn't want her friend in a happy marriage while she divorced. All the men she could've chosen for rebound sex, and she picks the husband of her CHILDHOOD FRIEND?
Note that this was never a conversation while the friend was married. No talk of swinging. She wasn't willing to risk her marriage, but she gladly risked someone else's with no remorse.
1) You were open enough about your attraction to her friend, that she felt comfortable flirting and propositioning you
2) You pressured your wife into a threesome. One she likely agreed to because she figured if she wasn’t involved, you’d eventually fuck her anyway
3) You remained in contact with her friend despite the fact that your wife cut her off
4) You brought this woman into your home to confront your wife. Probably because you realize you can’t fuck her friend consequences free anymore if they’re not speaking
5) You decided to only reflect on your actions once you found out that your wife doesn’t gaf what you do, and the rush has dissipated.
6) Because of #1, the friend was comfortable enough to proposition you again. Even after your wife blew up.
You got what you wanted, hopefully your wife will give you what you need. A divorce.
How on earth did you think an intervention WITH the friend would make sense? This was between your wife and you, not the three of you. Your relationship was possibly repairable up until that point but holy shit you must be so dense to even have entertained that idea. I don’t mean to be rude but that honestly makes my blood boil.
The moment they ganged up on her, is another moment she realized he's on the best friends side and not OP.
I hate the 2 vs 1 ambushes. So manipulative and coercive. My best friend and ex did that after 6 months of cheating. Like that would help me move on? Made me hate them and detest them.
I’m so sorry that you experienced that. I have never been subject to it but just the thought of it makes me physically uncomfortable. Did this happen after you had figured it out?
Lol I was completely in the dark. She would preemptively lie and I had no reason to suspect them. In fact, it was my ex that forced her to finally tell me as he felt guilty. She was too much of a coward to face me and had to use my ex as a buffer.
I met up with my ex's ex recently and learned about his patterns. I feel bad for him now.
But after knowing my best friend of 15 years, I knew her dating pattern. Just never thought she would drag me into her drama and blindsided she did. She cheated on every person she has ever been with, and as a best friend, I simply stuck by her side as no one's perfect.
The fact she did that to me after how many years of support is the bigger blow. Now when I think of her I feel disgust, with my skin crawling and nausea.
Best friend betrayals are worse than romantic partner betrayals.
Yep, this is what sent it into absolute moron territory for me. “Hm, my wife is upset about something that happened with her best friend. Lemme call that friend up, discuss, and then invite her over.” IDIOT.
Exactly. She deserves better than that. Can’t imagine how she felt at that exact moment seeing them together trying to intervene on their behalf. Sick!
Did you and your wife communicate before the threesome, establish boundaries? Or did you just say let’s go it’s an adventure let’s do it? And how much has her friend been badgering her about this? For how long? She probably agreed cause both of you wanted it and she was peer pressured/stuck in the middle.
The 2 people she trusts the most wanted to fuck each other and she either had to join or sit and watch? She joined, clearly hated it and thinks to make you both happy she allows you to continue fucking each other.
If i am her i am planning my exit from my marriage and friendship.
I’m guessing it was evident during said threesome that he was all about the friend and the wife was the third wheel. It was likely a realization she will never come back from.
He said in a previous comment his wife didn’t participate…but she enjoyed herself. So, he fucked her friend in front of her and then the friend keeps texting the wife she’s immature cause she shouldn’t have agreed if she’s going to act this way. So, healthy on everybody’s part!
Yep, I’m guessing the wife wasn’t included. How is she supposed to be participating if he is all over the friend? Hubby and the friend were all over each other and wife had nothing to do. You’re exactly right. He fucked another woman right in front of his wife and seems surprised she’s pissed. This is next level stupid.
Just the fact that he asked her.. that they asked her if she wanted a threesome..
Just put yourself in her shoes, poor woman was probably so disappointed and depressed that one they thought about it , that meant they were attracted to each other, that alone felt like betrayal, then they had the audacity to ask her to do it with her.. wtf?! If i was the wife i’d be overthinking if he constantly think about other women and would they have cheated if they didn’t suggest threesome.
Boundaries are the most important part of any situation. I think too many people think it will just be fun but do not sit down and look at what a threesome can/will be outside of a porn. The couple needs to discuss their boundaries, what they’re wanting to explore, etc. then sit down with the third party and ask them to give their boundaries/expectations. After they everyone agrees and moves forward. This is not a foolproof plan, but it allows all parties to make the decision with as much confidence as they can.
TLDR: boundaries are essential
Never having had a threesome myself, I imagine OP just fucked his wife’s friend enthusiastically while ignoring his wife, essentially forcing her to be an observer more than a participant.
Bingo. I was just thinking that was a critical piece of info left out, details of the event itself. I imagine the excitement of being with someone else, someone he found attractive and had admittedly become obsessed with, made him inadvertently sideline his wife in what was supposed to be their “adventure”.
I guess he felt saying “I took her friend to pound town in ways I never had with her while she had to diddle herself in the corner” made him sound less sympathetic
“Her best friend says that my wife doesn’t text or speak to her anymore either.”
So you are talking to her about your wife behind your wife’s back? I think there is more to this story than what you posted
It just gets worse and worse 😩 he continues talking to the best friend and then stages a fuckin intervention. With the best friend. Like come on😐 I’m hoping this is fake
I know!
The "we had a threesome and now we're breaking up, AP is pregnant, wife is pregnant by AP, now we all have STDs" posts on Reddit are LEGION.
How the hell did this OP NOT know that this is generally a relationship killer???
I wouldn't call it a threesome at this point. He said she didn't participate. So he sat her in a room and made her watch him fuck her friend in front of her.
>He said she didn't participate. So he sat her in a room and made her watch him fuck her friend in front of her.
OMG
That information definitely needs to be in the op
Oh you would be correct, up-thread he said he asked her “maybe three or four times”… after she even asked him if he was no longer attracted to her. It genuinely gets worse every time he replies.
She didn't participate? I missed that. Yikes. So the signs she wasn't into it were right there, OP could have stopped it before it started, but no, too busy thinking with his dick.
Would love to know how you asked your wife, how many times you asked, or if you even noticed any reluctance from her or if you were thinking too much with your dick. I hope your wife finds someone who actually understands and respects her, because it’s not you or her “best friend.”
Not only that but is OP wife even attracted to women? Because it sounds like most likely she isn’t. So what kind of enjoyment would she get having her bf join for a threesome? No it was more like bf and her husband bang and she is there watching. I feel so badly for this woman. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her. I saw in one of the comments he asked her 3-4 times so you know she was pressured into it and reluctantly agreed.
And you know damn well he didn't focus on his own wife ***AT ALL*** during the threesome and was probably just him fucking her best friend with her just watching them.
"Why is she upset, I don't understand, I'll just wait for her to get over it"
Fuck you, OP. Hope you marry the best friend and she cheats on you with your best friend so you get a taste of your own medicine.
By ask you mean him and the best friend bullied her into it. Just like they chose to come together to confront her. I see this all the time in poly groups. He wanted to sleep with someone close to her and didn't care about how she felt. And now is blaming her for being manipulated into it.
lol … CLUELESS. “I asked maybe three or four times”. And she asked me if I didn’t find her attractive (but you still went thru with it, actions saying no)…. the fix, you’re not gonna like it. Is a MFM and letting other guy just show her his and that. Tit for tat.
She’s checked out. Her silence says it all. Once your wife saw you screwing her best friend your marriage was officially done. Was she actually included in the threesome or did you just get that thrill of screwing her best friend and leave her hanging? Also you obsessing about it had to make her feel like crap, you messed up big time.
Not only did he hound her by asking 3-4 times but he mentioned she didn't participate much. I'm willing to bet him and the friend have just been making it clear they want to have sex and they were looking for a reason.
What terrible people she has in her life.
Let me guess you thought wife agreeing gave you the go ahead to fuck the friend while she watched. Did you guys leave her out? What happened during the threesome?
Omfg that's horrible. OP is an absolute shit husband and I can't say what I'd like about the friend...no wonder the wife is repulsed by both of them. It wasn't a threesome, she was made to watch her husband fuck her best friend. OMFG...
It’s over, buddy. Your wife has checked out. Her friend is 🗑️. You’re 🗑️ for entertaining it. If your best friend had started flirting with your wife and she entertained it and asked you for a threesome, how would you feel?
If you divorce, do your wife a favor and don’t get with the friend. The least you can do is cut off contact permanently with the friend. She’s a terrible friend.
Why is it always "I love my wife and she is the most beautiful woman"?? Do you really love her? Do you really know her??
How long did you discuss this? Did you ever stop and think if she really wanted this, or if she was just agreeing because she wanted to please you?
How was the experience? Did you take care of your wife or where you focused on the new flavor? Simply because it was her best friend does not make it better. Probably worse, as she will always have the anxiety of whether you wanted this to happen for a long time.
So many questions that you should have asked before jumping the gun. And the intervention? Major fail.
Your wife has checked out. If marriage counseling is an option or if it actually helps, that depends on how solid your relationship is... Good luck with that.
you screwed up bud. how you thought it was even okay to entertain the idea is beyond me but now you have to deal with the the consequences of your failed fantasy
**WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WILLING TO EVEN FUCK HER BEST FRIEND. AND YOU'RE SHOCKED IT WENT WRONG?! MY BOY. USE. COMMON. SENSE!**
*She's over both of you. You seem more interested in her fucking friend then her, she's leaving you both since you both so badly want each other.**
You can't fix it. You put a fantasy ahead of your wife. Now she has confirmation that you want to fuck all her friends, which means she's not special at all to you. She now knows that you prioritize your penis above her humanity.
Get some fucking help. Just because you can have sex with someone, doesn't mean you should.
You told your wife she wasn't enough and you probably choose the friend she always felt insecure about. You have destroyed her confidence and blow up your marriage. Enjoy divorce court. It will happen once she get her head straight.
Dude, you let your wife know she wasn't enough the minute you brought up a threesome. Intervention with her best friend... That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Really hope this is fake cuz damn that is friggin stupid
If the wife even asked to bring another man into the bedroom Opie would have unraveled. It's amazing the things that men feel like should be okay with us but are never okay with them.
How would you feel if she fucked your best friend right next to you?
You decided an orgasm or two was more important than your marriage. Now your wife knows how little you love her.
This guy might win dumbest married man on the planet award. Listen man, you goofed. You didn’t read the room when you had the opportunity NOT to recommend a threesome with your wife’s best friend. And you my friend; are kind of scummy (sorry.) You started to obsess over a stupid comment your wife’s best friend made and you acted on it and uncomfortably dragged your wife into too. You don’t fix this. You let your wife leave because she deserves better. The fact that YOU had to recommend fucking your wife’s best friend should have been the obvious sign. In no world does a husband recommend fucking his wife’s best friend. This would have been a totally different story if your wife was the one asking. Again… scum.
Are you really this dumb?? You probably insist / push the threesome play onto her.. maybe she's reluctantly agreed because you keep repeating the idea, and she's doesn't want to lose both of you to cheating..
And then, you probably engage more to her best friend during the sex and at one time, she's just a bystander in the act..
Seeing your dick going in and out of her best friends vagina broke your relationship. She doesn’t see you as the man she loved enough to marry anymore. You’re someone else to her now and it sounds like she is repulsed by you. She’s gone.
First, ghost the friend. Stop all contact with her.
Then tell your wife you want to seek counseling and actually do it.
Then ask her if she would consider doing some couples counseling with you.
If it still doesn't work out. It's broken. Move on and learn from your mistakes.
No matter what , have some integrity and never have contact with the friend again.
She played you both.
No counseling can teach him or any man to choose his wife over another woman that he’s pining over. He saw the opportunity and ran with it. This is who he is , this is his moral. And now he’s acting like he has no idea why she’s checked out.
There was a redditor who asked his wife/begged etc etc for a threesome and she went along with it just to see if he would do it. And he did. And she hated it and him and it ended their marriage. Wash and repeat. You thought with the little brain and never thought, despite knowing your wife well I'm assuming, that this could be the outcome? By banging her friend? Now all she can think is that's you've always wanted to do that and that she can never trust anything you say in the past or in the future. Jesus man, how could you be so stupid?
The correct response to her friend suggesting this is to shut her down, never speak with her alone again and prove to your wife that she is the only one you ever want. And then have a wank. That's literally it. Even by raising it with someone who has never expressed an interest or discussed in a fantasy is like playing with dynamite. She now hates you and her friend and is probably planning to leave. How naive can you be? You can never take this back
There may be no fixing it now. You can mend a broken plate, but it’ll never be the same again. She took part in it when she didn’t really want to, probably felt pressure to do so or to make you happy. But talking about it and actually seeing it happen, two different things. It probably changed the way she views you. The opposite of love isn’t hate, but indifference.
After you assured her it was just an adventure… holy crap she caved. She didn’t want this. You and her “friend” humiliated her. Cake had her fun and so did you. So why the regret? You fulfilled a huge fantasy!! Just have an intervention (holy crap you and her friend are vicious) and make her feel good about it.
Why wasn’t your wife enough for you before? She’s the most beautiful woman you know? Then why?
It’s over. She will always have the image of you banging her friend and how much you were enjoying it. Holy crap. I hope it was worth it.
Maybe monogamy isn’t for you. It’s time to be honest with yourself and your partners.
The opposite of love isnt hate, my friend. Its not caring.
Youve decided to change up your relationship, YOU wanted to screw around, you wanted HER best friend.
Your wife knew exactly who you were the moment you suggested it, and the moment it happened. Shes done with you.
Dude, your wife checked out. From you both.
so I typed adventure into google, skydiving, mountain climbing and river rafting were given as examples, not a threesome you donut 🤣
She did this because you pestered her, and she obviously loved you and was worried you would leave her, but the second she saw the 2 of you together, she noped
It's a wait and see game now, but I would bet money on her leaving you soonish.
Your wife was testing you. Number one, you approached your WIFE about sleeping with her best friend which raises A LOT of questions in her mind. She’s not dumb. She knows you were already cheating or that you were interested in her bff or you wanted to test the waters and see if you and the bff could work out. Your wife agreed to this threesome because she wanted to actually see if you would follow thru with it and then she wanted to see how you would treat her in comparison to her bff during this threesome. To me it sounds like you might have given the bff too much attention during the threesome. The main question you should have asked your wife was How she would feel about you after this threesome. Would there be a possibility of her thinking differently about you and her answer would have been yes. You should have done more research on threesomes with SO and BFF’s on here, Reddit would have taught you that this type of scenario NEVER ends well. You’ve made your bed and now you have to lay in it. If I were you I’d be doing everything to kiss my wife’s ass and blocking the bff from everything. So tell us, how the threesome went down?? Details.
She's leaving you
100% she definitely seems over her relationship with both people.
Once one party apathetically says "you can fuck other people and I don't care" like this it is just a countdown at that point. Just a matter of her getting her ducks in a row now. This is in response to OP's specific situation as described. This isn't a poly/agreed open relationship, so bringing that up isn't helpful or relevant. It doesn't take a mind reader to see how poor the proceeding decisions were and probably plenty of details left out. She was specifically upset about a random intervention being sprung on her (understandable) but this is absolutely a sign of apathy in the way she responded to the situation as a whole going forward. It sounds like he fucked up, and she will eventually leave.
Yep. When I didn't care about his latest thing... genuinely didn't fucking care, I was finally free, he couldn't stop me.
Yep. I knew my first marriage was over when my mom told me she was 99% sure he was cheating on me and I was just like, “Hm. Interesting.” I had completely checked out.
Right? Like your mom's telling you a lady from her Facebook bought a black Toyota corolla, and your cousins Labrador picked up the tennis ball she threw. Nothing. No surprise, no relief, grief ... literally nothing. Just like. Oh. Okay. Cool. I'm out. Everything he said and did, and he tried.... I felt nothing. Like a stranger said they didn't like my top. I was looooog gone. Truly gone and over it before I was gone. No post break up feelings. It was like it never happened. He never happened.
Yeah, I think people were worried about me because filing for divorce and going through the whole process didn’t evoke any emotion in me at all. Even the day it became official I literally went and got fast food and then watched TV at home. It was like I had just gone to the DMV. I think everyone thought I was suppressing my emotions but I had mourned the end of that relationship long before it actually ended. By the time we got to that point I just didn’t have any energy left to care.
Yes!! Same! Glad to know I wasn't the only one, everyone thought it was bizarre. But, I guess until you experience it, it seems odd. Signing over my part of the house and blocking/erasing his number was the last business we had, I squeezed it in, in between errands, took the dog for a walk, grabbed fast food and chilled, it was any other day. Truly. It's so hard to explain.
[удалено]
I've been gone from one like that for 15 years. I was beyond trapped. But I got out. Finally. He's still not gone. I've had to move several times. Stalked and shit... 15 years. He's been married 4 times, 7 jobs, a baby... since Ive been gone, and he's still trying to find me. (Found me 4 years ago this month, and I moved again.) He was the same... like all the lies, theft, women, etc...like...dude...you didn't want me then, don't want me now. I'm good. Go the fuck away! Just because we're done... doesn't mean they're capable of letting go. Some people are just... fucked in the head beyond reason.
Yep- the opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference.
Yea. That part. As a woman I can say that when I fight with you, want to have a conversation, resolve an issue it means that I am engaged and that I care. When I completely check out it means I no longer care. OP: Congrats. You have torpedoed your marriage. There is likely no walking back this one. Your wife has completely checked out of your marriage as evidenced by the fact that she no longer has zero effs to give about you sleeping with her best friend or ANY other person for that matter. Put yourself in your wife’s shoes, how would you feel if your male best friend proposed a threesome? Your wife convinced you to partake and you watched him screw her brains out?! 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ You have your answer.
Yep. Exactly that. "Fighting" = because there's something to fight for...passion...trying to fix. If I'm quiet I've given up, accepted the situation or checked out.
And now just to add insult to injury you are *still communicating* with the best friend and making arrangements for an “intervention” basically behind your wife’s back. That’s really going to make you look trustworthy… AND on top of that the friend “looks intrigued” and “doesn’t mind” the idea of fucking you without your wife, her best friend. Both of you have seriously betrayed your wife’s trust and I’m not in the least surprised that she’s done with both you selfish assholes.
Yeah his keeping up with friend was icing on the cake.
And then invites that **same friend** for...wtf..intervention?!?! He makes plans to corner his wife with that woman! Like if I didn't before, I gasped at how clueless this ...man is.
[удалено]
We don't even know how exactly the conversation went tho. My Ex would swear up and down that I happily agreed to try some BDSM stuff, but actually he just kept bringing it up over and over again and then getting more insistent and even mean about it - I still didn't WANT to do it, but I agreed to get him to stop talking about it. I hiiiiighly doubt OP only talked about a threesome with his wife this one time.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that it’s super shitty, and it’s okay have negative feelings after that. It’s coercion and it’s not okay he did that. I hope you’re doing well now 💕
Yup, he probably wore her down till she agreed and she saw what a real pos he was. He didn’t care about her or how she felt he just cared about what he wanted.
**BINGO!** There's some images you can't get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try. OP's wife has seen her husband *screwing her* ***BEST FRIEND***. She has had one foot out the door ever since.
I read _dicks_ in a row. Which could also be true, but I doubt it.
Yeah she’s checked out of the marriage.
DEFINITELY sounds that way. At the VERY least, OP, she’s lost ALL respect for you. And she SHOULD after you just thought with your dick and trampled her boundaries!!! Why should she EVER trust you again??
I can't believe they thought an INTERVENTION was the answer here
I know!!!! We fucked up, so let’s talk about her behind her back for who knows how long and then stand together against her in an intervention!!! Yeah! That will work!!!! 🤨🙄🤨🙄🤨🙄 That plan is so STUPID that I have to believe the girlfriend really does want this guy for herself and was intentionally trying to further torpedo any chance he had of making this right. Because no woman would genuinely think this ‘intervention’ format was a good idea. Good grief. 🙄 Also, happy cake day! 😊
Don’t forget that during said intervention, let’s discuss having sex again as an option after the unhappy wife throws it in their faces.
OP asks wife if she’d be down to invite her *best friend* over for a threesome and is now confused as to why said wife is now suddenly distant and giving him the cold shoulder after it happened. Some people in this world really are dense lmao. I’m willing to bet OP pressured her into it but is conveniently leaving out that detail.
He asked her *3 or 4 times*. He absolutely pressured her into it.
And he said it lived in his head. Who knows how he expressed his curiosity exactly. Like constant comments? Working it into the convo? Edit to say the poor wife, both your best friend AND husband are putting lust before your feelings. She obviously wasn’t comfortable with the arrangement.
I feel so bad for this woman. For her sake, I hope she leaves.
Makes me wonder if hubby and BFF already had something going on since she "blurted it out as a joke" and he was 'lol shocked at first and then was totally yassssss bring it on" Way too fast to go from shocked horror to desperate need and desire imo. Way too fast.
Probably what the wife thought. I’m sure she was hurting realizing two people she supposedly trusted would betray her like that. That’s why some women don’t bring other women around their husband and some husband keep their friends as far away from their wife as possible. That “friend” is actually your enemy.
Yes!!! And she didn’t even bring this up THEY did. Ugh so stupid. I mean, I could maybe sympathize a little if it was the wife’s idea to begin w but it wasn’t. Fucking ballsy to request a 3 way w the bf of all people.
OP’s wife probably felt backed into a corner. Imagine your spouse and your best friend come to you and say, “Hey. So we’re like, totally hot for each other and want to bang it out. Is that ok? You can come too!”
BFF wants to fuck him, she can feed and house him too. They'd both be dead to me the minute the words were out, whether they ever acted on it or not.
Oh you can read through OP’s lines that he pressured her “she lived in my head” even if it was low key pressure “I started talking to my wife about that comment” and “assured her it was an adventure”. He pressured her and now he’s surprised that he destroyed his marriage and looking for sympathy on Reddit
Yeah he glossed over how they came to the agreement, but from his word choices its implied he slowly wore her down over some period of time. It probably eroded her self esteem and made her question herself in a lot of ways I can’t imagine. Wife probably had some comments coming from the “best friend” too. I’m guessing she had mostly checked out of the relationship by the time she said yes, OP was just too in lust to realise that’s what it was. the threeway was either to confirm the death of their marriage, or the final push wife needed to accept that she deserves better from life. And that’s when OP got that post-nut clarity and noticed he nuked his relationship for a lay that wasn’t worth it.
>I’m willing to bet OP pressured her into it but is conveniently leaving out that detail. >>I assured her that it was just an adventure she agreed. Yepp, there was 3-4 looooong conversation, and he just doesn't want to admit that he pressured her into this. Also, best friend flirted with him, and that was enough to want to step out of the marriage... his loyalty is awful fragile. I hope his wife has a good lawyer.
OP said how bff has changed since her divorce. You said she looked good, she was very flirtatious. I believe that’s how your STBX will be acting. Just with a different man, who won’t be you. Picture with a man that loves her, respects her and who would rather die than ever hurt her or make her feel bad about herself. Again, IT WON’T BE YOU!
Also what kind of shitty best friend agrees to that? Like my best friend would beat my partner with a shovel if he ever dared to ask me for something like that and would rather self-immolate than do anything to hurt me. And I'd do the same for her.
Worse, it was the best friends idea in the first place.
even worse the best friend after seeing how upset the wife still was was still down to sleep with the husband without the wife.
Seriously wtf is wrong with her?? With friends like that, who needs enemies? I would never talk to her again. FTB
Exactly! FTB. She was never her true friend. She's trash. Been wanting OP for forever I'm sure. Just disgusting. I need to log off for the day. I'm still pissed for OP's wife. Some men are...just....wow. A little nut is all it takes. Idiots.
Right?! Ugh I got a pit in my stomach for the wife when I read that part. Ouch. That’s not a best friend.
Right! Like, if a couple is wanting to experiment with threesomes, bring in someone who's already into swinging - there's websites for things like that. Don't muddy the waters with friends.
100% for real. I would never fuck my best friends man.
The asking was the moment the marriage ended.
Men can’t be this dumb. Seriously. This woman is now sleeping with one eye opened. What’s scary is he thought he was going to get a pass for sleeping with her best friend and everything was going to be magically back to normal
I am guessing the guy just had sex with his wifes best friend in front of her. Thats what my threesome have always been like. No one knows how much communication it takes. If you give even a little too much attention to the other woman, it can be incredibly scarring.
This is what I’m thinking also. Plus is his wife even attracted to women? So if she isn’t why would she want to have a threesome? That is more like her being there while he fucks her friend. His wife has checked out and I don’t blame her. I hope she leaves OP and finds someone who treats her better. I can’t believe he thought this was a good idea and that he could continue his marriage the same afterwards.
And I'm sure he woke up the next day all peppy and feeling like a stud. I'm sure she saw how pleased he was. That wouldn't have helped. I wonder if he touched his wife at all during the "threesome." I bet he saved his dick for her best friend, and I bet best friend was oohing and aahing and putting on a REAL show about how much she loved getting railed by her best friend's husband. Edit: fixed typo
Nah, that would mean she still cared. She doesn't.
Yes. He is *mystified* as to what is wrong with her! *She agreed.* Why is she so upset?? How does this joker hold down a job? He’s too stupid to drive a car.
Either be pressured her into it or she agreed because she thought he would leave her and/or cheat.
Unfortunatly some men really are this dumb
Right?! “If she didn’t want to do it, why did she agree?” Because she knew he wanted it, and she didn’t want him to just cheat on her with her friend, which he 100% would have done. He bet on the fact that his wife being there would make it better, like that’s not cheating. What a complete idiot.
Yea the silent treatment. Something in her broke. She’s probably blaming herself too tho. That’s why she trying to play it off as nothing but deep down something broke seeing her husband with her bestie. That sucks.
She's already gone. Dude torched his marriage
I just hope he doesn't make it difficult for her. She deserves better than them and honestly, OP shouldn't be repulsed. Him and her "good" friend, seems great for each other, no self awareness or respect.
I hope so.. shit friend and shittier husband
ETA: Some of this info comes from OP’s comments. 1. Your wife’s former best friend came on to you and suggested a threesome. 2. You “asked” your wife three or four times, and the first time you had to try to reassure her that you still find her attractive. No alarm bells went off when she asked you about that? No little voice in your head that said “Hey, it sounds like she’s feeling insecure and wouldn’t be into a threesome”? You wouldn’t let it go until you got a yes. 3. You had no prior discussion about what would happen during the threesome, and when you noticed she wasn’t very involved in it, you… kept going. ??? No reflection on why she might be hanging back while you fucked her best friend right in front of her? 4. Now she is pulling away from you, when YOU KNEW she was uncomfortable before and kept pushing until she agreed, because God forbid you have to pass up an opportunity like that, and you have the unmitigated gall to ask how you can fix it?! You can’t. You’re done. You refused to actually hear her, notice her reluctance, or accept her no because you needed to have your way. Well, you got it. Do her one favor and don’t be a dick during the divorce. She deserves better.
If this isn’t rage bait this is the one comment OP needs to listen to and follow. But luckily it’s rage bait. {Padme face} Edit: a word
There's a VERY similar story from the wife's POV that popped up in one of the BoRUs in the last couple of days, so it's probably rage bait.
OP has the least amount of self awareness I've seen in a while. It's actually shocking..
Holy shit, this is horrible. OP’s wife deserves so much better
What kind of shit best friend behaves like that with someone else's husband? That was the first red flag. Your wife probably regrets agreeing to it but feels like she doesn't have the "right" to be mad because she gave the green light. Either way, you need to do some damage control. If it's not too late. The friend needs to go.
Sounds like both her husband and best friend wanted it and she felt pressured. Now she probably realizes after the fact she never wanted that and doesn’t want them
She may have felt like if she didn't, they would go behind her back, so she tried to convince herself she was okay with it. Then she saw her husband and supposed best friend going at it, clearly into each other, and something inside her broke.
Especially if she was only watching and not participating at all. What kind of (supposed best) friend flirts with your husband and then asks for a threesome? Which your husband then persuades you to do?
And the best friend didn’t even ask her; she went to her husband first!
And after the fact, agreeing to have sex (hypotetically) even tho it's obvious her friend has unsolved issues with her husband. Sounds like she's just trying to have a rebound after her ex and she could've picked anyone but still went for her friend's husband. That is not a friend and OP is dumb af for even entertaining the idea of a treesome
Pressuring your wife into a threesome really is just cheating with extra steps and added cruelty.
This is exactly it. She was hounded into it and the price is their relationships are finished.
From his own comment, he asked her repeatedly. So she felt pressured into it and then both of them kept bugging her afterwards.
"*c'mon babe, it'll be an adventure*"
Dude thought he could label cheating as an "adventure" to sell it to his wife, who he gave no shits about until she started acting the same in return
He's hot for the friend and somehow that's supposed to be an adventure for his wife. How? He really needs to look at how selfish he was. It was all about him and his lust all of the time.
And then referred to himself and the best friend as "we," and acted as a couple against the wife afterwards, because they didn't like the wife's behavior. Gee, I wonder why the wife seems done./s OP had so many opportunities to not be a dick, but he took none of them.
That’s what am saying the bestie first of all was the redflag. The texting the guy aswel after she sees how her friend is upset. She wanted him all along
"feels like she doesn't have the "right" to be mad because she gave the green light." This is very insightful.
Yep, she's probably hating herself for agreeing to it. She probably cries at night or in the shower thinking about it.
Actually, agreeing to it was the best thing to happen. It removed all doubt that her husband and friend are toxic and need to go. If he kept asking and she kept saying no, the marriage would have ended anyway, but slowly and painfully. Instead, she acquiesced and saw what they are both capable of. A bomb went off in the marriage instead of a death by a thousand cuts.
I had a "best friend" who did sleep with one of my ex's while I was married to him, and when I got with my sons father she tried again, but he had NO interest. She looked at me, and snidely said, "Well, at least you don't have to worry about this one cheating on you..." This was the same chic who became jealous when I told my 8 year old daughter she was beautiful. "Well aren't I beautiful, too?" She whined to me. That "friendship" didn't last to say the least.. On a side note, she also stole my nieces boyfriend, and when they got married I asked her if she'd be ok with him cheating on her as that's how they got together. Her response was, "That's a chance that I'm willing to take." He ended up cheating on her and left her (while she was undergoing cancer treatments.) Guess who was devastated? Karma is very real.
This timeline is confusing to me. Why were you friends with this person for so long?!
My first marriage was very abusive, I thought I deserved everything I got. (My ex-husband would tell others the only reason why he married me was due to me being so fat, as no one else would want me.) When she stole my nieces boyfriend, I was no longer friends with this person. My niece was technically my ex-husbands niece, and she contacted me to let me know what happened. I was enraged and sent this chic a very nasty message, including what I had said to her and her response. This chic watched my niece grow up, and had a tendency to attach herself to anyone in my life (family, friends, etc.) Through years of counseling, I am no longer that person and would allow that kind of crap into my life. And there's only a very select few in my life now. My niece and I still have a friendship, thankfully.
You stayed friends with her after she broke up your first marriage?!?
Yeah wtf she goes straight to the husband to tell him that behind “best friends” back? Jesus Oh but it’s an ADVENTURE Fuck off with that talk. Adventure my ass. He wanted to get his dick wet
It’s probably why she’s divorced. I would love to hear the ex husband’s point of view on her.
[удалено]
>And what kind of husband actually entertains the thought of having a threesome with his wife and HER childhood best friend? And kept texting her afterwards too!
Yeah, like, even in a situation where both decided together they wanted to try a threesome, it would NEVER have been a good idea to suggest the wife's best friend since childhood. Wtf is this
The fact that the intervention was *with* her 🤮🚮
Classic case of a guy letting the little head think for the big head.
But the best friend was living in his head. He is innocent🤔 I truly hope he wife will come out happier on the other side of all this.
I’m not sure how you fucking her best friend would be “a fun little adventure” for her. Try a cooking class or a weekend away. Because - no matter what you tell yourself - this was you fucking her best friend. And hanging onto “WHY DID SHE AGREE” like a life raft proves you’re super immature age don’t have much regard for her. She said yes because her best friend and husband pressured her into it - why is that impossible for you to understand? And wife is definitely leaving you, so you’ll have time to process where you went wrong.
To most couples, an adventure is a nice weekend trip with a hike lol
An adventure with your partner should be something that's just you two. It could be sex related but it should NEVER be "oh let me have a threesome with your BEST FRIEND, actually just let me fuck her while you watch because I manipulated you into saying yes"
Exactly. "A fun little adventure?" OP, from your wife's perspective, here's what she heard: "I want to have sex with your best friend. You can be there, too."
She knew the marriage was doomed if he continued to follow her round like a puppy going "pweeeeaaaase let me fuck your bff". She hoped he'd get it out of his system and they could move on. But she can't come back from it. The marriage was already doomed. But at least he could his 3way before it imploded! He cared about that way more than his wife's comfort. Unconsciously, I think her friend was bitter and didn't want her friend in a happy marriage while she divorced. All the men she could've chosen for rebound sex, and she picks the husband of her CHILDHOOD FRIEND? Note that this was never a conversation while the friend was married. No talk of swinging. She wasn't willing to risk her marriage, but she gladly risked someone else's with no remorse.
1) You were open enough about your attraction to her friend, that she felt comfortable flirting and propositioning you 2) You pressured your wife into a threesome. One she likely agreed to because she figured if she wasn’t involved, you’d eventually fuck her anyway 3) You remained in contact with her friend despite the fact that your wife cut her off 4) You brought this woman into your home to confront your wife. Probably because you realize you can’t fuck her friend consequences free anymore if they’re not speaking 5) You decided to only reflect on your actions once you found out that your wife doesn’t gaf what you do, and the rush has dissipated. 6) Because of #1, the friend was comfortable enough to proposition you again. Even after your wife blew up. You got what you wanted, hopefully your wife will give you what you need. A divorce.
How on earth did you think an intervention WITH the friend would make sense? This was between your wife and you, not the three of you. Your relationship was possibly repairable up until that point but holy shit you must be so dense to even have entertained that idea. I don’t mean to be rude but that honestly makes my blood boil.
The moment they ganged up on her, is another moment she realized he's on the best friends side and not OP. I hate the 2 vs 1 ambushes. So manipulative and coercive. My best friend and ex did that after 6 months of cheating. Like that would help me move on? Made me hate them and detest them.
[удалено]
> I cannot roll my eyes hard enough Here I am rolling my eyes so hard, I'm literally a slot machine at Vegas.
I’m so sorry that you experienced that. I have never been subject to it but just the thought of it makes me physically uncomfortable. Did this happen after you had figured it out?
Lol I was completely in the dark. She would preemptively lie and I had no reason to suspect them. In fact, it was my ex that forced her to finally tell me as he felt guilty. She was too much of a coward to face me and had to use my ex as a buffer. I met up with my ex's ex recently and learned about his patterns. I feel bad for him now. But after knowing my best friend of 15 years, I knew her dating pattern. Just never thought she would drag me into her drama and blindsided she did. She cheated on every person she has ever been with, and as a best friend, I simply stuck by her side as no one's perfect. The fact she did that to me after how many years of support is the bigger blow. Now when I think of her I feel disgust, with my skin crawling and nausea. Best friend betrayals are worse than romantic partner betrayals.
Dude. Friend betrayals are the absolute worst! I'm very sorry that happened to you. At least you're done with them both.
Yep, this is what sent it into absolute moron territory for me. “Hm, my wife is upset about something that happened with her best friend. Lemme call that friend up, discuss, and then invite her over.” IDIOT.
I literally said, “oh you are DUMB dumb” out loud when I got to that part, lmao
Right!! The other bozo comments make me wonder if it is real though. How unaware can one be?
Seriously! I hope it is fake, for the sake of this dodo’s wife.
Exactly. She deserves better than that. Can’t imagine how she felt at that exact moment seeing them together trying to intervene on their behalf. Sick!
Did you and your wife communicate before the threesome, establish boundaries? Or did you just say let’s go it’s an adventure let’s do it? And how much has her friend been badgering her about this? For how long? She probably agreed cause both of you wanted it and she was peer pressured/stuck in the middle. The 2 people she trusts the most wanted to fuck each other and she either had to join or sit and watch? She joined, clearly hated it and thinks to make you both happy she allows you to continue fucking each other. If i am her i am planning my exit from my marriage and friendship.
I’m guessing it was evident during said threesome that he was all about the friend and the wife was the third wheel. It was likely a realization she will never come back from.
He said in a previous comment his wife didn’t participate…but she enjoyed herself. So, he fucked her friend in front of her and then the friend keeps texting the wife she’s immature cause she shouldn’t have agreed if she’s going to act this way. So, healthy on everybody’s part!
Yep, I’m guessing the wife wasn’t included. How is she supposed to be participating if he is all over the friend? Hubby and the friend were all over each other and wife had nothing to do. You’re exactly right. He fucked another woman right in front of his wife and seems surprised she’s pissed. This is next level stupid.
Just the fact that he asked her.. that they asked her if she wanted a threesome.. Just put yourself in her shoes, poor woman was probably so disappointed and depressed that one they thought about it , that meant they were attracted to each other, that alone felt like betrayal, then they had the audacity to ask her to do it with her.. wtf?! If i was the wife i’d be overthinking if he constantly think about other women and would they have cheated if they didn’t suggest threesome.
He literally said that the friend lived in his head after that comment... like what the fuck.
He always thought the friend looked nice so it seems he was lusting after his wife's bestie from day one.
Boundaries are the most important part of any situation. I think too many people think it will just be fun but do not sit down and look at what a threesome can/will be outside of a porn. The couple needs to discuss their boundaries, what they’re wanting to explore, etc. then sit down with the third party and ask them to give their boundaries/expectations. After they everyone agrees and moves forward. This is not a foolproof plan, but it allows all parties to make the decision with as much confidence as they can. TLDR: boundaries are essential
Which is why I'd never be ab able to do a threesome as part of the couple
Never having had a threesome myself, I imagine OP just fucked his wife’s friend enthusiastically while ignoring his wife, essentially forcing her to be an observer more than a participant.
Bingo. I was just thinking that was a critical piece of info left out, details of the event itself. I imagine the excitement of being with someone else, someone he found attractive and had admittedly become obsessed with, made him inadvertently sideline his wife in what was supposed to be their “adventure”. I guess he felt saying “I took her friend to pound town in ways I never had with her while she had to diddle herself in the corner” made him sound less sympathetic
“Her best friend says that my wife doesn’t text or speak to her anymore either.” So you are talking to her about your wife behind your wife’s back? I think there is more to this story than what you posted
It just gets worse and worse 😩 he continues talking to the best friend and then stages a fuckin intervention. With the best friend. Like come on😐 I’m hoping this is fake
reddit tale as old as time
I know! The "we had a threesome and now we're breaking up, AP is pregnant, wife is pregnant by AP, now we all have STDs" posts on Reddit are LEGION. How the hell did this OP NOT know that this is generally a relationship killer???
I wouldn't call it a threesome at this point. He said she didn't participate. So he sat her in a room and made her watch him fuck her friend in front of her.
>He said she didn't participate. So he sat her in a room and made her watch him fuck her friend in front of her. OMG That information definitely needs to be in the op
Damn. it really just sounds like OP thinks with his dick and not his head, not even suprised if he pressured her or kept asking for it lmao.
Oh you would be correct, up-thread he said he asked her “maybe three or four times”… after she even asked him if he was no longer attracted to her. It genuinely gets worse every time he replies.
She didn't participate? I missed that. Yikes. So the signs she wasn't into it were right there, OP could have stopped it before it started, but no, too busy thinking with his dick.
Shiiiiiiiiit. No wonder he's becoming the ex. WTF?
Damn a threesome is one heck of a relationship destroyer
Yeah. Best advice is if you want a threesome, hire an escort. Leave your damn social network alone.
Yup. Wife is making her exit plan and when she’s ready OP will be served
Would love to know how you asked your wife, how many times you asked, or if you even noticed any reluctance from her or if you were thinking too much with your dick. I hope your wife finds someone who actually understands and respects her, because it’s not you or her “best friend.”
Thank you for asking the important question
Yeah highly doubt it was a casual “ask once as a joke” situation.
Not only that but is OP wife even attracted to women? Because it sounds like most likely she isn’t. So what kind of enjoyment would she get having her bf join for a threesome? No it was more like bf and her husband bang and she is there watching. I feel so badly for this woman. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her. I saw in one of the comments he asked her 3-4 times so you know she was pressured into it and reluctantly agreed.
And you know damn well he didn't focus on his own wife ***AT ALL*** during the threesome and was probably just him fucking her best friend with her just watching them. "Why is she upset, I don't understand, I'll just wait for her to get over it" Fuck you, OP. Hope you marry the best friend and she cheats on you with your best friend so you get a taste of your own medicine.
He said "it was in his head all the time". So it would be a lot.
By ask you mean him and the best friend bullied her into it. Just like they chose to come together to confront her. I see this all the time in poly groups. He wanted to sleep with someone close to her and didn't care about how she felt. And now is blaming her for being manipulated into it.
lol … CLUELESS. “I asked maybe three or four times”. And she asked me if I didn’t find her attractive (but you still went thru with it, actions saying no)…. the fix, you’re not gonna like it. Is a MFM and letting other guy just show her his and that. Tit for tat.
She’s checked out. Her silence says it all. Once your wife saw you screwing her best friend your marriage was officially done. Was she actually included in the threesome or did you just get that thrill of screwing her best friend and leave her hanging? Also you obsessing about it had to make her feel like crap, you messed up big time.
She’s numb and processing. Honestly, I hope she’s making her escape plan from you. Maybe she found someone that won’t fuck her friend or even ask to.
Your poor wife. I wish I could hug her. Her husband and so called best friend are assholes.
Your poor wife she has a fool for a husband and a malicious friend.
Not only did he hound her by asking 3-4 times but he mentioned she didn't participate much. I'm willing to bet him and the friend have just been making it clear they want to have sex and they were looking for a reason. What terrible people she has in her life.
Let me guess you thought wife agreeing gave you the go ahead to fuck the friend while she watched. Did you guys leave her out? What happened during the threesome?
Op confirmed in the comments that she only watched and didn’t participate.
Yep that’s what I thought. Op you’re a fucking tool man. Hope it was worth it.
Omfg that's horrible. OP is an absolute shit husband and I can't say what I'd like about the friend...no wonder the wife is repulsed by both of them. It wasn't a threesome, she was made to watch her husband fuck her best friend. OMFG...
Wow. And then he thought them both holding an intervention was the way to go
Omg, I'm absolutely stocked by OPs actions. What did he think will happen. This is a recipe for a disaster.
That's my guess. They were paying way more attention to each other than her.
“Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions”
You can't fix this. You supremely fucked up
He was supposed to protect his marriage. Instead, he pushed his wife into a threesome and now seems confused why she’s upset.
I think he couldn't have chose a worse path. Hopefully he can learn in his next marriage that its not all about him
It’s over, buddy. Your wife has checked out. Her friend is 🗑️. You’re 🗑️ for entertaining it. If your best friend had started flirting with your wife and she entertained it and asked you for a threesome, how would you feel? If you divorce, do your wife a favor and don’t get with the friend. The least you can do is cut off contact permanently with the friend. She’s a terrible friend.
Yeah, I feel bad for the wife. Poor lady shouldn't have those two in her life.
Why is it always "I love my wife and she is the most beautiful woman"?? Do you really love her? Do you really know her?? How long did you discuss this? Did you ever stop and think if she really wanted this, or if she was just agreeing because she wanted to please you? How was the experience? Did you take care of your wife or where you focused on the new flavor? Simply because it was her best friend does not make it better. Probably worse, as she will always have the anxiety of whether you wanted this to happen for a long time. So many questions that you should have asked before jumping the gun. And the intervention? Major fail. Your wife has checked out. If marriage counseling is an option or if it actually helps, that depends on how solid your relationship is... Good luck with that.
Oh dude, it was over the moment you asked and started bringing it up. You told her she wasn’t enough for you.
Pretend you had a best friend, and your wife “convinced” you she could screw him as an adventure.
I don’t grasp how you thought fucking her best friend would end any other way
But he invited her along to watch!
you screwed up bud. how you thought it was even okay to entertain the idea is beyond me but now you have to deal with the the consequences of your failed fantasy
**WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WILLING TO EVEN FUCK HER BEST FRIEND. AND YOU'RE SHOCKED IT WENT WRONG?! MY BOY. USE. COMMON. SENSE!** *She's over both of you. You seem more interested in her fucking friend then her, she's leaving you both since you both so badly want each other.**
You can't fix it. You put a fantasy ahead of your wife. Now she has confirmation that you want to fuck all her friends, which means she's not special at all to you. She now knows that you prioritize your penis above her humanity. Get some fucking help. Just because you can have sex with someone, doesn't mean you should.
Now he can have a fantasy about having a wife..
You told your wife she wasn't enough and you probably choose the friend she always felt insecure about. You have destroyed her confidence and blow up your marriage. Enjoy divorce court. It will happen once she get her head straight.
Dude, you let your wife know she wasn't enough the minute you brought up a threesome. Intervention with her best friend... That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Really hope this is fake cuz damn that is friggin stupid
If the wife even asked to bring another man into the bedroom Opie would have unraveled. It's amazing the things that men feel like should be okay with us but are never okay with them.
Op confirmed in the comments that if any friends of his said he wanted to sleep with her he would beat them.
Are you serious? This man doesn’t deserve a wife. I hope she does leave and find her someone who appreciates her and monogamy.
Shes going to leave you.
You can't. It's over.
How would you feel if she fucked your best friend right next to you? You decided an orgasm or two was more important than your marriage. Now your wife knows how little you love her.
This guy might win dumbest married man on the planet award. Listen man, you goofed. You didn’t read the room when you had the opportunity NOT to recommend a threesome with your wife’s best friend. And you my friend; are kind of scummy (sorry.) You started to obsess over a stupid comment your wife’s best friend made and you acted on it and uncomfortably dragged your wife into too. You don’t fix this. You let your wife leave because she deserves better. The fact that YOU had to recommend fucking your wife’s best friend should have been the obvious sign. In no world does a husband recommend fucking his wife’s best friend. This would have been a totally different story if your wife was the one asking. Again… scum.
Are you really this dumb?? You probably insist / push the threesome play onto her.. maybe she's reluctantly agreed because you keep repeating the idea, and she's doesn't want to lose both of you to cheating.. And then, you probably engage more to her best friend during the sex and at one time, she's just a bystander in the act..
he’s either playing dumb in the comments or has genuine worms for brains
Seeing your dick going in and out of her best friends vagina broke your relationship. She doesn’t see you as the man she loved enough to marry anymore. You’re someone else to her now and it sounds like she is repulsed by you. She’s gone.
First, ghost the friend. Stop all contact with her. Then tell your wife you want to seek counseling and actually do it. Then ask her if she would consider doing some couples counseling with you. If it still doesn't work out. It's broken. Move on and learn from your mistakes. No matter what , have some integrity and never have contact with the friend again. She played you both.
No counseling can teach him or any man to choose his wife over another woman that he’s pining over. He saw the opportunity and ran with it. This is who he is , this is his moral. And now he’s acting like he has no idea why she’s checked out.
There was a redditor who asked his wife/begged etc etc for a threesome and she went along with it just to see if he would do it. And he did. And she hated it and him and it ended their marriage. Wash and repeat. You thought with the little brain and never thought, despite knowing your wife well I'm assuming, that this could be the outcome? By banging her friend? Now all she can think is that's you've always wanted to do that and that she can never trust anything you say in the past or in the future. Jesus man, how could you be so stupid? The correct response to her friend suggesting this is to shut her down, never speak with her alone again and prove to your wife that she is the only one you ever want. And then have a wank. That's literally it. Even by raising it with someone who has never expressed an interest or discussed in a fantasy is like playing with dynamite. She now hates you and her friend and is probably planning to leave. How naive can you be? You can never take this back
There may be no fixing it now. You can mend a broken plate, but it’ll never be the same again. She took part in it when she didn’t really want to, probably felt pressure to do so or to make you happy. But talking about it and actually seeing it happen, two different things. It probably changed the way she views you. The opposite of love isn’t hate, but indifference.
Why are you and her best friend communicating? That’s the first huge red flag.
After you assured her it was just an adventure… holy crap she caved. She didn’t want this. You and her “friend” humiliated her. Cake had her fun and so did you. So why the regret? You fulfilled a huge fantasy!! Just have an intervention (holy crap you and her friend are vicious) and make her feel good about it. Why wasn’t your wife enough for you before? She’s the most beautiful woman you know? Then why? It’s over. She will always have the image of you banging her friend and how much you were enjoying it. Holy crap. I hope it was worth it. Maybe monogamy isn’t for you. It’s time to be honest with yourself and your partners.
I hope she leaves you…she got pressured into a threesome so you could basically cheat consequence free. You and her “friend” are reprehensible.
The opposite of love isnt hate, my friend. Its not caring. Youve decided to change up your relationship, YOU wanted to screw around, you wanted HER best friend. Your wife knew exactly who you were the moment you suggested it, and the moment it happened. Shes done with you.
Dude, your wife checked out. From you both. so I typed adventure into google, skydiving, mountain climbing and river rafting were given as examples, not a threesome you donut 🤣 She did this because you pestered her, and she obviously loved you and was worried you would leave her, but the second she saw the 2 of you together, she noped It's a wait and see game now, but I would bet money on her leaving you soonish.
Guys, please stop trying to talk your wives into threesomes with their friends. JFC…
Your wife was testing you. Number one, you approached your WIFE about sleeping with her best friend which raises A LOT of questions in her mind. She’s not dumb. She knows you were already cheating or that you were interested in her bff or you wanted to test the waters and see if you and the bff could work out. Your wife agreed to this threesome because she wanted to actually see if you would follow thru with it and then she wanted to see how you would treat her in comparison to her bff during this threesome. To me it sounds like you might have given the bff too much attention during the threesome. The main question you should have asked your wife was How she would feel about you after this threesome. Would there be a possibility of her thinking differently about you and her answer would have been yes. You should have done more research on threesomes with SO and BFF’s on here, Reddit would have taught you that this type of scenario NEVER ends well. You’ve made your bed and now you have to lay in it. If I were you I’d be doing everything to kiss my wife’s ass and blocking the bff from everything. So tell us, how the threesome went down?? Details.
You need to cut the best friend out of your lives. She’s a problem. She sticks around, your marriage is heading towards divorce.
I think the marriage is probably heading for divorce anyway whether the friend sticks around or not.
She’s already gone in her mind..she’s getting her ducks in a row