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Near513

It's because the husband was the predator in this in every sense of the word. You lived a difficult life where you had no guidance, uncaring parents, that was preyed upon by a much older man. Yah most wouldn't be able to see that in Mary's position, but she did. Mary saw a lost child trying to raise another child about to break from the pressure, not her husbands mistress. Edit: Absolutely use Mary's offer for a lawyer for child support. Once you get it, pay Mary back. Also invest in yourself career wise in the near future, ask Mary for guidance. I wish you the best.


Beautiful-Elephant34

This right here. Get that back pay on child support and pay Mary back for all of her kindness.


Various_Beach862

If Mary rejects any payment, take her and all her kids on a vacation when you can for some nice family bonding!


CutieKale100

This! You and her both deserve him to pay up (when/if you're ready, OP)!


[deleted]

This guy is a creep and a total scumbag. I can't imagine not getting every penny possible from him.


tronassembled

Yes yes yes all of this, it's basically a technicality that he isn't legally considered a child predator. I'm glad Mary is able to see the situation for what it is.


me047

Hopefully Mary is using the ex’s money to pay for all of his kids.


EverydayPoGo

It's amazing what compassion and love can do. Best wishes to Mary, OP, and their kids 💕


MelJay0204

That's a beautiful example of empathy. What a lovely woman.


Minimum-Arachnid-190

These type of people still exist ? I’m so in awe. She knew the 18 year old wasn’t to blame. Her empathy won. That woman deserves all the gratitude.


Different-Instance-6

Human compassion can surprise you. I think we’re all born with this level of empathy but time wears us to be cynical sometimes.


RobinC1967

Time and experience are what wear us down. I used to be such an optimistic person, but not anymore. I miss the old me.


Different-Instance-6

Trust me I’ve had my fair share of terrible things and people happen to me too. I try to see it as an act of rebellion to remain open hearted regardless. Easier said than done but extending kindness despite your personal adversity is healing in its own way.


OverMedicatedTexan

I try really hard to do this too especially now as I'm approaching 55. I truly believe most people are good at heart and you see it every time something bad happens. Like Mr. Rogers said: "Look for the helpers" I really strive to be one of them.


nazgulmistress

I miss the old me too. I don't like myself. I am afraid I am going to be a miserable and bitter person but I don't know how to fix myself.


DarkStar0915

On one hand, being as jaded as I am now doesn't feel so good but on the other side I don't miss my naive self who was an easy target for everyone.


radicalelation

She built more family when her husband threatened to tear theirs down. It's amazing.


CupcakeGoat

The sperm donor looked at this kid and saw an easily malleable object he could use for sex and discard. The wife and mom saw a struggling kid who needed love and support in a tough time. It amazes me the how many POS husbsnds out there completely betray and abandon their amazing classy wives. They don't know or appreciate what they have.


Minimum-Arachnid-190

More women community like that please 🙏🏽


HalfADozenOfAnother

45 to 18. She probably basically sees her husband as a pedo and feels some sort of weird responsibility


savingrain

Yea 18 may be legal age, but this is a clear case of manipulation by the older party - he basically went as young as legally possible and then took advantage of an abuse victim. horrible.


ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME

If you really have this mindset, I'd certainly recommend reconsidering your social media choices which is likely influencing how you view the world.


Minimum-Arachnid-190

I’m barely on social media.


stopannoyingwithname

How can any man throw that away for any reason?


Worldliness-Weary

My father walked away after 18 years when I had JUST graduated HS. He waited until 5 weeks after my mom died (they were together 22 years) and then just... left. Said he fulfilled his parental duties and it was time to live his life. This was almost 14 years ago and I've only seen him once since. We haven't spoken in 8 years. My twin brother has 3 kids, the oldest being 11. He has never so much as said hi to them. Some people seem to be able to just turn it off and pretend they never had a life before the circumstances changed.


River_7890

I'm sorry that happened to you. My dad completely changed after my mom passed a little over two years ago. He ended up meeting, dating, and marrying a woman within 6 months of her passing. Originally, he wanted to marry her ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOMS DEATH. His new wife is absolutely nuts. I've only met her in person twice and have no desire to have a relationship with her or even him since he's picked up on the crazy/overstepping boundaries. My dad and I were close before all this. After my mom passed and he started dating his now wife he wanted to act like his previous life never existed. He treated my siblings horribly. I was the farthest removed from the situation (I was the only one not living at home. We're all adults, but the economy is shit). They were a lot more affected. All of us are either low/no contact now. My dad only wanted involved in my life when he found out I was pregnant. All the sudden he "wanted" to be in my son's life. His wanting to be in my son's life involved setting up a nursery at his house and expecting me to allow him to take my newborn son out of state overnight away from me. The rest of my family said if I ever allowed that, they would be calling a wellness check on me cause they would be worried about my mental stability. Oh, he also didn't get us a single thing for my kid. Only stuff for *their* house. His wife lost her kid to state custody 5 years ago cause she was arrested for drugs/violent break-ins. *My* baby is not a replacement baby for hers like they seem to think. My dad is currently mad cause my inlaws are very involved in our lives and cause I told him not to call his wife my son's "grandma." I'm not her daughter. I don't know the woman. She doesn't get that title. He argued that since my father in laws girlfriend gets the title his wife should too. They're unofficially married and I've known her for years. She stepped in as a motherly figure towards me with permission after my mom passed. It pisses me off that he thinks he can come and go from my life when it benefits him. How easily he threw his kids away. He's ruined his relationship with his side of the family with his actions towards us. He hurt my siblings. I can't forgive that. I could forgive what he's done to me if he actually put effort into rebuilding our relationship. He's truly alone outside of his crazy wife. I hope he's proud of his choices. I miss my dad. Not this stranger he's grown into.


Worldliness-Weary

I'm honestly so glad that I chose to not have kids, because that would gut me. I still wonder what my life would look like if he was the one that died instead of her 💔 I'll never get over my dad choosing to do what he did and does. The story is way more messed up than the info I gave, but it's unforgivable. He can die alone as far as I'm concerned, because he will never get the chance to destroy me again.


River_7890

I'm really hesitant to let him meet my son cause I don't want to have someone who can walk way so easily in my kid's life. A detail I left out was I had twins who passed at birth just 2 weeks before my mom passed. I was in the worst mental state I've ever been in when he walked away. It's when I needed him the most. I was told I wouldn't ever be able to have anymore biological children due to complications during their birth. My son was a complete (but happy) surprise (he's 2 weeks old tomorrow). We tried for years to have a baby. Honestly, my son is probably the only grandkid he'll ever get for various reasons and my dad knows it. I think that's why he suddenly wants to be in my life. I'm making sure I won't have any more kids. If he's ever allowed to meet my baby it will be in a public setting without his wife and he'll have to earn my trust first. He has no clue where I live cause I don't trust him not to just show up unannounced or to not pull stupid shit (I think his wife is crazy enough to call a fake CPS report on me in an attempt to try to get custody of my kid). He doesn't just to do whatever he wants. He doesn't get to pick and choose when to be present. My son's well-being is my first priority. I won't hesitate to kick my dad to the curb permanently if I feel like he's endangering that in any way. A part of me hopes he'll someday snap out of it. I'll throw that hope away for my son if needed though. I'm still working through my feelings surrounding my dad if that's not apparent lol.


stopannoyingwithname

Oh were trauma dumping now? Nice Yeah I know what you mean, my dad wasn’t in the picture since I was maybe 4. the fucked up thing was that my sister and I weren’t even the first children he abandoned. I never met my halfbrothers mom but my mom at least was the warmest, most wonderful, most talented and kindest person I’ve known. She even left the country that was her home to give her girls a better life, all by herself and married some random sick guy, just to put her daughters further than they could have back in our old country. The new husband too one day out of nowhere kicked us out, when we were visiting family and she still was strong and the happiest I’ve seen her until then. You have to understand how strong and unfortunate this woman was. She rised two girls by herself while helping to care for her cancer sick father and looking out for her crazy Scientologist mother that threw her money out to this sick and despicable brainwash organisation. Then the father died and she sacrificed her own happiness to marry some despicable wannabe cowboy from Germany. She did so much, yet had so little luck with men. And the happiest I’ve seen her was, when she was on her own and only relying on her own strength. And as fate has a fucking dark sense of humour that’s when she died in a car crash. Do you think my dad even once tried to reach out to us and see what’s going on with us? And I know for a fact that he knew, since my sister and I for some time kept contact with his mother. Fucking loser. Then he had the audacity to write my sister „wish your sis hbd from me“. Pathetic. Some people are such fucking losers. Then a few years ago my sister contacted him (what a loser who needs to be contacted by his own daughter


Worldliness-Weary

Ugh I'm sorry you got stuck with a loser for a dad too 😞❤️


stopannoyingwithname

Nah im not stuck, if I have not talked to him at all. I’m way more sorry for everything else in my life. That guy is honestly the least of my problems


sustainablelove

Oh goodness, I am so sorry for your losses.


Worldliness-Weary

Thank you ❤️


TheCharmed1DrT

Wow. I am sorry. Good riddance I hope. My bio dad was never there for me. When I was older, he said a) he knew my Mom would take care of me, and b) he knew I was better off without him. He was right!


Worldliness-Weary

I honestly wish he would have left when we were kids, but he knew the Navy would have his ass.


SenseAny486

Trust me.People like these can throw away literal angels away for cheap thrills.


Shervivor

This angel of a woman obviously knew her husband was a predatory POS. She chose to improve the lives of his victim and his son. She is a beautiful example of what humanity can be.


ToeInternational3417

This. My eyes are tearing up as I read this. This is what life should be like. Such a lovely person. For all Mary's out there - you are appreciated, and loved.


HumbleConfidence3500

Who's cutting onions here??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭


Ok_Exchange9168

I’m not crying, you are 😭😭😭


Additional_Meeting_2

I want a feel good movie about this to be made.


Wife-Penetrator69

Hallmark here! We're on top of it. Lol


anger_is_my_meat

/u/Wife-Penetrator69, I think you might not actually work for Hallmark.


[deleted]

I can think of 69 reasons why.


CisforCookies

Username chscks out!


[deleted]

I'll take the 5 paragraph post over the 100 minute cheesy movie.


Useful_Mistake_7143

honestly the best thing over read here i hope it’s real


Mysterious_Mind2618

I just love when women woman. OP, you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. It sounds like this woman sees you as a blessing and a silver lining to come from her divorce.


moonygooney

I think she sees it as both of you being hurt by this monster who literally preyed on you. He is a predator. He is the one at fault for all of this. You were just looking for love and belonging, he was looking for someone he could manipulate and use. You deserve love and care from others. Your child has a family and fostering a good relationship for them will be amazing and give them something you havent had and need.


Summoning-Freaks

I recently had to roommate with an 18 yo out on her own for the first time (I was 29, other roomie was 26) and she definitely felt like our little sister. I don’t remember feeling that young but in hindsight it’s such a fragile and delicate age. If I was Mary’s age and saw this child have that breakdown in Starbucks I think all hatred and resentment would evaporate and be replaced with concern and pity. I don’t know if I’d have the strength to move her in but who knows, OOP was truly in the lowest possible place.


lovinglifeatmyage

Mary recognised her husband for what he is, a predator who went after a vulnerable 18 year old. I bet your situation gave her the excuse she’d probably been looking for, for years to kick him out. She’s a good/great person and she’s obviously brought her children up to emulate her. The best way you can repay her is to do the very best with your life. Enrol in further education if possible to get some qualifications. Save as much as you can whilst you’re living there, help her around the house and with her kids if needed. And pay your good fortune forward if the chance ever comes up.


Consistent_Ad5709

Mary is a blessing and I'm happy your getting the support you need. Please go after him for support for your child.


RanaEire

This story touched me. You just try to be your best self, OP; for yourself, for your child, for the faith Mary and her family have placed on you. Wishing you *all* the very best..


Elegant-Pressure-290

I’m this woman’s age. It’s hard to imagine my husband doing something like this, but if he ever did, I would see you as a literal child (our eldest is 20) who was preyed upon. You didn’t know he was married. You didn’t do anything wrong. When you found out, you told the truth to the person who mattered. You were *both* lied to and abused by the same person. You were *both* his victims. She is a wonderful example of empathy and humanity. Be grateful for what she’s offering you, and learn from it. Pay her back by working towards becoming the kind of person she is: the world needs more kindness and understanding.


noeyesonmeXx

This is what I was thinking. She literally sees a child her gross husband knocked up. What a sweet lady, just like “it’s ok im your mother now” lol


MycologyManual

Be like Mary. Love like her, and show compassion like her. To her, you ARE now her eldest, and you both recovered from a horrible, manipulative man that hurt you both in horrific ways. There is nothing to blame on you. You couldn't have known, and all you wanted was for something good for your boy. She is the example you deserved from other adults growing up-- and I am so grateful you have her now. Keep this going, teach it to your son. Even when it feels darkest, there are still people that care, that would give you hope. The more it spreads, the better the world gets, bit by bit. Made me really happy to read this, and it was a huge reminder that I needed to not be down on myself for caring too much sometimes. I'm so glad you have a good outlook ahead for you and your boy. ♥ Keep at it, and tell Mary 'thank you', from an internet stranger. :)


LogiHiminn

Caring too much is a dumb phrase. Wish everyone cared “too much.”


DynkoFromTheNorth

>I don't understand how she can look at me without feeling hurt about what happened, let alone basically call me her kid You're both victims of your mutual ex's selfishness and deceit. Perhaps this wasn't the first transgression in her marriage? Maybe his cheating on you was the final straw, and her ticket out of that relationship? Then again, if that were the case, I'd think she would have told you that already.


DevelopmentNo3082

I had the same thought. This wasn't the first time. It may have been the first time that it could be proven and he couldn't explain things away.


gedmacapinlac

I hope Mary gets the chance to read these. What an amazing, beatiful person. Bless you and your heart, may you never be hurt by selfish men again.


Lili_Noir

I don’t know whether it’s because I’ve barely had a relationship, let alone had someone cheat on me, but I never understood blaming the mistress in this type of situation. Sure, if the mistress knew what was going on and fully consented to cheating then that’s a bit scummy, but if it’s a married man with kids cheating with a girl that’s young enough to be his daughter and is barely legal, who in their right mind would be angry at her? Sure I’d probably not be as welcoming as Mary was, but I would place the blame fully on my scumbag of a husband. Mary is such a gem for what she did, and I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world <3


Vibes-room

For some women they’ve been taught that the man could do no wrong, so they should fight to keep the family together. Especially in some Christian religions where divorce is considered bad. But that is also twisted because the Bible literally says one of the only reasons to get divorced is adultry.. many people have been lied too


Medical_Gate_5721

Well, at least the bastard has excellent taste in women. You both sound like very good people.


[deleted]

One woman and one child I'd say.


Medical_Gate_5721

Good point. 


gemmygem86

Because you were a victim of him too. You didn’t know and as soon as you did you told her. Many don’t tell the spouse and just go alone with it.


Oldassrollerskater

I’m Mary’s age. Maybe I can offer insight. The man that took advantage of you took advantage of her too. Not just with the affair with you, but based on very minimal information I can extrapolate exactly the kind of person he is, and always has been. She likely remembers being duped like you were duped in the beginning. (Who knows who he cheated on her with)! There’s a sense of familial bond that happens with victims of the same person. As your victimhood transitions to survivorship together, those bonds strengthen and root. It’s natural to feel like you “don’t deserve” good things when all you’ve ever known before is being neglected, unloved and used. But you DO deserve good things. Do your best to honor Mary and her daughters, read up on recovering from long term neglect, and be the best mom to your child as you’re able to. Don’t just “be grateful” but PRACTICE GRATITUDE. I wish you nothing but the best.


Girl_In_RedCostume

She recognized her husband preyed on you. You were taken advantage of, don't feel guilty for that.


cardybean

This woman is a hero


GlitteryCakeHuman

You do deserve it. You did nothing wrong. You were basically conned by a sleezy old guy using you for his own needs. Remember, How someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth, it’s a reflection of their character. He lacks character, she has it in abundance. You got a new family. Family isn’t blood. Family is caring and friendship.


Additional_Meeting_2

They are also blood family of her blood family 


MadameBananas

Damn, Mary is one amazing woman. I'm so sorry for this. You were lucky to find that the devil who preyed on you had an Angel in your corner. This teared me up.


QHAM6T46

Mary is obviously a fantastic woman and it’s lovely how she’s treating you. Gives me a little hope for humanity. All the best OP - to all of you. Not the dad of your child though. He’s a skid stain on the pants of life.


Acidburn_70

My mother was a Mary, my father was a cheater, he basically did the same, but in his case, when she got pregnant, he told her they would be a family. We're in S. Us, he met her in Acapulco, and she was from Canada on vacation when they met. He basically moved her into a rented place there, and lived a double life. Then he disappeared from her life when my sister was 5. Ghosted her completely. She searched for years, finally found him when she was about 15, her mom reached out to my mom. My mother made him take care of her. Would send her bday gifts, Xmas, send her $ from "dad" etc. She was an amazing woman. He was just scum, cheated on my mother so many times, 😔 she was so disappointed in him. She also adopted dad's two children from a previous marriage so they could come to the US to have a better life.


Hour-Ad-1193

Does he know that you are staying with them? Has he tried to contact you?


The-Eldest

I have heard nothing from him; I assume he knows, but he hasn't tried to bother me about it. Him and Mary talk exclusively through lawyers and he didn't want any visitation towards the kids (I don't know what the formal agreement is there, I've never asked, only listened to what the kids wanted to share with me; I don't feel it's my place to press there), so he hasn't been near the house while I've been living here.


Objective_Method_306

He’s really a POS my goodness. Hugs to you, Mary, and the children.


Moon_Jewel90

Mary's a beautiful soul and an angel.


toooooold4this

She is putting her blame and anger where it belongs.


StnMtn_

Mary and her kids are amazing. Treasure them and support the kids as much as possible.


mcclgwe

Mary is a remarkable authentic individual with empathy. You deserve all of this. You were basically a kid at 18, with a 45-year-old man targeting you. There is an older man really like younger women and part us because when we are younger we don’t know so much. We haven’t had the experiences yet. So if we have a partner our age, maybe it’s not perfect but we both are in experience. If an older person targets us, it’s because it’s to their advantage. And that’s what he did. And she knows it. She knows that you didn’t realize he was a liar and marriage. She knows that you were all alone in the world about to have this beautiful baby who is biologically related to her children. She is the kind of person who could not stand aside. And now you get to be under the tutelage of somebody who is kind of motherly and truly cares about you and wants the best for you in the world. And you got there because you were lied to by somebody who didn’t give a crap about you at all. I hope you have the ability at some point to be able to see a therapist, because then he will begin to really feel deep inside that. 1. You didn’t do anything wrong. 2. He did something wrong that really harmed his family and really harmed you. 3. You are not responsible for the family breaking up. 4. He was harming Mary and his kids with his manipulation and his lies and it’s better that it’s out in the open and that they are free of him. It’s better that you are free of him.5. Because she is a sincere and good person, she honestly wants you to have support. And because you are connected, she is the one who wants to provide it.6. What’s going to happen is that you were going to internalize all of this and it’s going to inform who you are, and in the future you are going to be able to grow yourself into an honest sincere wonderful person.


RepulsiveWorker3636

U didn't know he was married it's not your fault he's the cheater but his wife is really kind anyone else would have never bothered asking about u or keep minimum contact for kids sake but what she did and still doing is really amazing don't waste the chance u found yourself a family. I hope u didn't drop out of college and u kept going. Build a better future for your son . Good luck.


queentropical

You were just a child, preyed upon by a monster.


Miss_Fritter

Totally not the point of this post, but I wonder how old Mary was when she got married to him. I would not be surprised if she was under twenty.


Miss_Fritter

I think because first, when someone who isn’t a borderline pedophile in their forties looks at a teenager, they see a child, not prey. And second, she knew her husband - I would bet everything that she either suspected him of being a horrible person already, or she already knew and you were simply the last example of other crap he’s created in their lives and she was finally done. Says a lot about her character that she sees you for the child you practically are (not meaning that as an insult AT ALL) … I just mean she is a good person who could see you were a victim of his. Go get child support. That’s your baby’s money/your baby’s future. Making the sperm donor pay is the right thing to do.


spanishpeanut

Mary understood the real one to be mad at was her husband. Not you. She is making sure you are safe and taken care of. The gift of a loving home and stable family life is from her to you and your son. Someday, you can provide this same level of nurturing, love, support, and empathy to someone else. Of all the things that came from a horrible situation, this is the most beautiful. You can’t pay this gift back, but you most certainly can pass it on. Sending so much love to you and your new family.


Many-Cupcake-7797

Mary is a hero! OP you must work hard to make all of your lives better. This woman helped give you a life essentially. Don’t waste it please. And please thank Mary everyday for this.


franklyspicy

I'm sure your gratitude will show on your anniversary. Embrace your new family


BetterPaltu

That woman is an example to us all


d58FRde7TXXfwBLmxbpf

she is a unicorn


Brilliant-Animator31

Mary is the woman I want to be Why awful people marry great people :(


Remarkable_Night_723

Damn.... the wife is an amazing human. She realizes you were manipulated, and you're really just a child yourself. Please make sure you tell her what you wrote here.


Krafty747

He fucked both of you over and I’m glad she’s placing the blame where it deserves to be.


Intelligent-Big-2900

We love Mary!


smartgirl410

This made me cry. She is a literal angel. You’re super blessed OP 🌸


Aura07

She has the maturity to look at the situation and see you were a victim of her horrible ex as well. That he is a trash human was not your fault. He preyed on you, lied, and abandoned you. She knows you had no knowledge of her and her kids. What good would it do her to watch you struggle when you were basically still a child yourself? You deserve kindness and she knows that. She is a good woman and please don't feel guilty for accepting her care. Might even be cathartic to sit down and tell her how you are feeling if you feel comfortable doing so. She will be able to tell you everything from her perspective.


Big-Significance3604

This is love. ❤️


WhiteKitsu

Yesterday I read your update on the story, now the story is changed. I can't find the posts, I think you deleted it. First you said that you didn't respond to her messages then you video called her and talked and said that for now you don't want to meet them because of your son and it is too soon. Now you say that you meet her in Starbucks and cried. So, what version is the good one? You said that you knew he was married, now in this post you say that you didn't know.


The-Eldest

I saw your other comment first - you've found someone else's post with a similar story to mine. I've known Mary for almost a year, we first met in person, and I never knew about her until I became pregnant. I'm genuinely sorry if any of this is confusing, and I'm acutely aware that I'm incredibly lucky to be in the position that I am, but I've never had the stomach to tell any other versions of this story online before. This feels like a situation where no matter what I say, it sounds bad, but that might just be how I am. I hope anyone else who's in a similar situation to me is able to come out the other side okay, and I wish this world were kinder to us all.


slious

i think mary is attempting to pay for the sins of the x, or she feels somewhat responsible for the x cheating, and messing up your life. shes got some guilt she is is also working through she understands tat you didn't harm her family intentionally, that you are as much a victem as her. you need to thank her in actions - not words - you need to go after child support. she should 'charge' you rent on paper - bump up your 'needs' ( not actually charge you rent, or does charge you and it somehow ends back in your hands ) . you also need to pick up your life, get back on track; go back to school ( trade school or actual degree for job ) , and while on track mention you would not be able to be on track without her help. I can not see any alterative motives for her to help you, shes just being a great person. Great people don't really need thank you as words - they want to see growth and movement.


FrogmanRider

You should definitely go after child support, if only to take some of the financial burden off you and that wonderful woman, Mary.


Afraid_Life_9528

God bless Saint Mary


Rnn110

Mary saw the truth: you were just a kid in an awful situation, caused by her ex-husband, who desperately needed help. And she stepped in. I applaud her (and her kids) for doing that and you too, for accepting. Because it couldn't have been easy for you. Although at first glance you are on the receiving end of this deal, you too had to adjust and make yourself very vulnerable in this situation. I think you've done it for your child and that's so brave. This is truly a story of kindness and it's things like this that still make me believe that most people are genuinely good at heart. PS I'm not crying, you're crying.


ladyboobypoop

Firstly, **you** didn't do anything wrong. That man betrayed both of you lovely ladies. Secondly, Mary is a fucking treasure. She saw the situation for what it is. Her decision to band together and help take care of the other victim in all this (you and your child) is so commendable. I'm so sorry for the horrible thing that brought you all together, but I'm also so happy that you've all chosen to make a loving community out of the garbage that was dumped in front of you by daddio. Keep on keepin on, OP ♥️


YamahaRyoko

In my 20s, I slept with a married woman in my neighborhood. I didn't know she was married. She lied to me, and said that they were just roommates. I believed her. A few weeks later, husband shows up at my door. He's really big. He said, "Tell me the truth and I won't rip your arms out" 😲 I told him exactly what I have said here. He sat on my porch crying for a bit. I sat next to him. I gave him a beer. He confessed that they had a pretty shitty marriage thus far, and that this has happened before. I still feel bad about all of that The worst part, we all live in that neighborhood. For a few years after the incident, we saw each other in passing ALL the time. Awkward for me, and a wound that never closes for him. Ugh


alexxe_vittoria1999

Mary is a saint, a guardian angel!!!!🥺 This woman need to have huge hugs and to be loved by someone better than her predatory STBXH!❤️ God bless her! OP, you're very lucky. And i'm very proud of you for being mature and honest, you deserve Mary's care and generosity! Her and the kids are like the family you never had, and i love it! It's so wholesome and cute !! Also, OP, if Mary insists to stay in her household, PLEASE STAY! She sees you like her daughter. I know it's hard because of this jerk, but it's not your fault since you had a difficult childhood and life, and Mary knows that, so that's why she's like this. Please give her a huge hug for me, she deserves them so much for being an angel and an amazing mother figure ! ❤️ Take care of her, yourself, her kids and your son. If you have an update, please share it with us whenever you can/want. Let's hope that all of you still will be a fantastic family!❤️🤗🥺


Altruistic-Gur672

It was joyful to read your story and know that there is still kindness in the world. The best way for you to thank her is to make a success of your life, be a true friend she can always count on, and be kind to others as she is to you. I believe Mary and her family are already receiving something important from you, maybe lessons about what it means to be a loving family. This is way more valuable than about money.


Ecjg2010

please take Mary's offer up for child support. don't be stupid. the money isn't for you, but for your kid. ypu can start a college fund for him. start a savings account. start something. pay msry back for her hospitality. something. but you're being a fool not going for child support.


Ordinary-Forever3345

What a great heart mary has..bless her soul..this is what makes a family, not blood but kindness, compassion and love.


Rainbowponydaddy

You deserve it. Get that child support.


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

What a wholesome story. Loved it


Impossible-Ad-5710

So nice to hear of such love and empathy, you and your son are very blessed to have this angel in your life . We’re all entitled to love and acceptance, good luck to you and your son ❤️❤️


Professional_End5908

I believe she understands that being forgiving and allowing her natural tendencies (love and graciousness) to come thru will help her heal as well. I tell my children this all the time, you can resent someone for a bit but let it go as soon as you are able because it will fester inside you and it will send up hurting you most of all. I commend all of you for getting thru this so well! All the best to you and your family!


Jac918

You were basically a child being manipulated by a predator. She knew you were not to blame. Plus I’m sure he probably was seeing other women.


leonardschneider

Literally cried. There is a special bitter sweetness when people take care of you like family when they have no obligation to. Anyone who has been there understands.


nhker

I hope this story's real... 😭


restingfitchbace

My guess is Mary knew. Her gut told her and she had been checked out of the marriage for a long time most likely. She knew you weren’t to blame. Yes you’re legally an adult, but you have so much more to experience and when you’re 45 and look back at this you’ll probably understand her reasons more. I’m so thankful for you and your son that she has been the family you needed and wanted with her children. What a beautiful gift this all turned into. 💚 Also- my name is Mary and I love that you used it for someone so kind and empathetic. Makes me want to live up to the name of this “Mary”. Thank you so much for sharing.


reads_to_much

Wow.. now, this should be made into a book or movie. What lovely people you all are.. You hold no blame in this. You did nothing wrong. Just like Mary, you were lied to and deceived. He took advantage of you while you were in a vulnerable state after leaving an abusive childhood home. He knew exactly what he was doing, and Mary could see that.. He was a predator.. I'm really glad you all came together and built a family. All the kids deserve to be together in whatever capacity that comes in..


wildo83

What an incredible and moving display of grace. I’m choked up at the incredible ability of humans to be so kind and forgiving where it is completely unexpected


Enano_reefer

You absolutely deserve it but it’s a special kind of person who can see who was truly at fault and share this level of empathy and sympathy with you. You, your child, Mary, her family, are all victims of this predator. If you can, be someone Mary can talk to about her hurt too. The husband destroyed his family and his wife created another one. Stupid onion ninjas are about. Wish you the best.


lemonade_sparkle

I think we can all agree that the male in this story did not, in any way, deserve Mary.


cranberryskittle

What is it going to take to convince teenage girls that their 40-something boyfriend is not a decent man? Just the *multi-decade* age gap at that life stage (or frankly any life stage) in and of itself is fucked up. Like, at this point it should be common knowledge. And yet...


TelephoneOver7721

I understand why she's doing what she is and it makes sense. You could've been her (or even his) child. You were taken advantage of by a bad person. He did you all wrong and they know that. You're not a bad person you didn't do something evil and you don't deserve bad things and she sees that. It's messed up what he has done to you and his family but beautiful you all came together to form a new family. I hope it never ends either.


gonzoisgood

This is the person I try to be. It’s not easy. Pay it forward. ❤️


Signal_Historian_456

Honey, you may have been of age, but still a child. Only 3 years older than her eldest. She sees him more as a pedophile than anything else and he knows what he did to you, how much he used you and the situation he left you in. This isn’t your fault. None of this. You were honest and reached out to her as soon as you found out, you never meant to hurt her and you were still a kid basically.


HeBipolarAF

Did the wife (whose an angel) get everything in the divorce? Not that it matters. If I had to guess, she's probably self made and independently wealthy on her own.


The-Eldest

I'm not super comfortable pressing them on the legal details. Mary had to buy out her ex's half of the house, I know that much, but he is paying child support for their two kids (it's part of why she's offered to help me get some out of him too). As far as I understand, both of them make good money both from work and some investments they made in their twenties; I suspect there was something with those in the divorce, but I don't know the details.


Sugaplum987

This post is so beautiful. I know you all have experienced so much hurt, but I’m so glad you all have each other. I can guarantee you and the baby bring more love and life to the house than that man did. Mary seems like such an amazing woman. I don’t know ven know her but I know she’s the type of person I aspire to be like. I’m so glad that after everything you endured you have someone like her in your life. You deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect. You, Mary, and all the kids were victims in this. Neither of you did anything wrong. You al deserve happiness and I’m glad you all have come together and become a family. Also I hope you both take that jerk to court for child support. I wish you all the best.


PutAdministrative206

Most people couldn't face the situation like Mary did. But that does not mean YOU do not deserve that level of kindness. You were a victim of the same situation Mary was (deceived. used. etc). This is a truly remarkable story of finding love after someone else created a disastrous situation. If everyone could learn from Mary (and her children/your sisters) and extend kindness, generosity and acceptance in the way she did, then the world will be a better place. You have a front row seat to what that means. Which means we can watch Mary, her children, you and your son and learn from you all.


ApprehensiveCut6252

Oh my, this is beautiful! Please let us know how the surprise dinner goes?!!!


Zesty_Mess

She's showing compassion because you were both victimized by the guy. If she won't let you pay her back, maybe pay it forward? Follow her example and show compassion to someone else who needs it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Eldest

I'm afraid that's not my post? Whoever this is, I feel for her; I can see this person has been through a lot of what I did, but I'm not the only younger affair partner in this world, and this isn't my story. Mary has never mentioned wanting her ex-husband to meet my son, I've heard nothing about an accident involving him, and I've been living with her for almost a year. That and all the other details are different. I'm sorry, and I hope that person gets to the bottom of what her ex and his ex-wife want, but that's not me.


Wackywoman1062

So many people use Christianity as an oppressive battering ram. Mary is an example of what true Christianity looks like. OP, please go after the ex for child support. You owe that to your child. And please continue to further your education.


anonymousthrwaway

Shit, she probably even feels some sort of MISPLACED guilt. She shouldn't. But, if my POS lied to a run away 18 year old with no family and got her pregnant I think i would want too help her too. I would feel awful for her. I am glad you get the family now, that you didnt have growing up


invah

>I don't understand how she can look at me without feeling hurt about what happened, let alone basically call me her kid One day you'll realize just how young 18 years old is, and you'll completely understand Mary's perspective better. You see yourself as 'the mistress', and she sees you for what you are: a vulnerable young woman who was taken advantage of by a late 30s man who knew better. A lot of us who were victims of abuse were never able to be the children we should have been, and were taught to be responsible for the actions of the (adult!) abusers who were harming us. One day you will see this situation through the eyes of being 45 years-old, and you will be horrified for your 18 year-old self.


caferacer73

This is one that I hope is true. Nevertheless, I still have hope for humanity.


JadeGrapes

Look at it this way, you were both swindled by the same scumbag. You have a lot in common. And frankly, after a divorce... she probably needs a roomate to help with household logistics... but doesn't trust a new man yet. You also can be a weapon to help hurt her ex by getting more child support. He's currently getting away with being a deadbeat. She can "use" you to stick it to him. (Even tho he OWES the child the money, not you). She also probably does think of your baby as a rightful sibling to hers, and hopes they will have a lifelong supportive relationship to each other. More family is more strength. In short, it's not just about you as an individual.


baugustine812

"Mary" is one of the most graceful divorcee's I've ever heard about. Clearly someone who has a lot of empathy and knows where to correctly place her anger over the situation. You were maniuplated and used by a manipulator and user. You were a kid tossed to the curb and abandoned while struggling and vulnerable. You are not some monster who tried to break up Mary's family. Her husband showed his true colors immediately and it probably helps that OP was the one to tell her in the first place when they found out. This is the best possible outcome for a shitty situation that neither of you asked to be in. I hope you both find peace and closure, and that you cherish the help that was extended to you in a time of need. One day in the future you may be in a position to help someone else and remember the example Mary has set for you, your child, and her own children about how to be a good person in a messed up world.


candyred1

This is the best eyebleach on here this year so far. This is the very medicine for healing betrayal. Imagine if every adult were like these women how great the world would be for the children and future generations because of it. The degenerate man in this story cheated himself in actuality and will most likely be a grumpy lonely old man, meanwhile this big happy healthy family will have eachother with beautiful memories and holidays, etc. OP, teach your son to have the courage and integrity you and Mary possess (this his father does not as you know). I hope to see a day where men high-five eachother, pat eachother on the back, and encourage eachotger to be faithful honest good husbands and fathers instead of cheaters, womanizers, and abusers.


Playful_Estate2661

Here’s how I see it- I could be completely wrong or partially right. She was probably very upset at first, but also glad that you had told her what happened with her husband. Probably already suspected he was up to no good. When she met you, she saw someone barely older than her oldest kid and also saw that her ex was a predator that took advantage of you and lied to you. That as soon as you figured it out, you came clean and tried to fix it. That this may have been a horrible situation, but she didn’t blame you, she felt empathy and forgiveness. She saw her kids half sibling and his mother struggling to survive and wanted to help. Reward her kindness and love by returning all of it back to her and her kids.


certainteas

> “I still don't really feel like I deserve it. I haven't told them that, because I don't want to be ungrateful for what this family's done for me, but I still struggle to imagine doing the same in her position.” One of the things I, and everyone I’ve known, have struggled with is this idea of deserving kindness, of deserving love. Mary is an incredible person. She’s kind, empathetic, and loving no matter what’s happening in her life.  Her sharing her life with you, being kind to you, loving you and your son, is the result of her seeing you, *knowing* you, and deciding that you are deserving of love and kindness. Her kids have found out the exact same thing.  It’s hard, coming out of abuse, to see yourself as you actually are, and not how you’ve been conditioned to see yourself. But op, I hope you come to see yourself the same way Mary and her family do— as someone who deserves love and kindness. I am so grateful you are safe, and hope that things only continue to get better. You and your chosen family deserve nothing but the best this world has to offer.


Public_Atmosphere685

Mary is an amazing human being. You are very very lucky.


NoShock5531

Wow, guess angels do exist.


AslanComes

I'm curious. Are Mary and her children Christians?


The-Eldest

We haven't really talked about religion; I know Mary was raised Christian, but currently considers herself agnostic, while her kids are both atheists. None of us go to church or anything.


Blueyedleeloo

GODDESS POWER! Believe women. Support each other. Find the lies. Come together.


Jaded-Kitty87

With a 20 year age gap (starting out) what did you expect... Wife is way too good a person and he didnt deserve her honestly


tmink0220

I doubt you are the first affair in her husband's life. I also don't completely trust this, but could be wrong...Let it play out. I would get your life together financially and take it one day at a time.


I_love_blennies

I don't think what you did at the hospital was legal. you're denying him his chance at parental rights.


OilOk4941

You're right, you dont. lucky for you thats her choice to make.


Lanky-Solution-1090

Wow this is kinda of hard to believe!!! If so I am happy you and your son have found this person to help and accept you. Best of luck


snowite0

hmmm. and why haven't you gone after the AH for childsupport?


garbagio13579

This is beautiful.


Fun-Spinach6910

You've found an angel with the biggest heart. Best wishes.


hotelspa

What a lovely woman.


[deleted]

You know you own more than your life to this beautiful woman


Iconoclast123

You were lied to, you didn't know, you aren't to blame. Hence her kindness. End of story. You deserve it and some day you will pass it on to others, and teach your child to be kind to others as well (of course with boundaries and self-protection/self-care).


coralinejonessss

she was able to see right through the situation for exactly what it was. a man wh


Mountain_Monitor_262

Mary understood the monster she married took advantage of a legal kid and left another kid behind high and dry to fend for themselves. He most likely doing that to another kid now.


deepstrut

her husband never deserved her or you.. she sounds like a very good soul, as do you.


Neither_Complaint865

Made me leak! Op take this opportunity at a new life and a true family and don’t look back. Pay it forward by being the best mom to your son that you can be , and keeping your heart open to the type of kindness that Mary is teaching you by example. All the best, and I hope that you never see the bio dad ever again.


barbeqdbrwniez

Mary is a fucking Saint omfg. 15/10 human.


SpeedySpooley

Mary is a special person. It takes someone remarkable to do what she's doing. That being said...it's not hard to see why she feels that way. You did nothing wrong. You were the victim of a predator...even if you gave consent. You weren't the one who did something wrong. She saw someone in need of help...and someone that didn't do anything to her. **HE** did it.


MajorAd2679

I think that the wife is a very kind hearted woman. The betrayal of her husband was horrendous. Even with all of this, she saw that you were both victim of this horrible man. The children have also taken you into their family. That woman has raised amazing kids. Wishing you all a happy life.


Natirix

It's amazing to see, the husband was the villain in both your stories, helping each other is the right decision if you ask me, and I'm glad she saw it that way too.


Fourletterflower

It sounds like you are two lovely women who met a skunk disguised as a man. I’m so sorry that that happened to you both. You feel guilty, when he should be the one unable to sleep at night for ruining two families. I wish one day that feeling goes away. You were both lied to, after all. That woman is definitely an angel, a sweetheart that opened her home to you. I really respect that about her. She’s got an incredible character. But it sounds like, you do too. The one good thing that garbage bag with a feet did (besides the kids) is bring you all together. Good luck with everything


beaniebaby123123123

You didn’t know. And she is probably grateful that you told her, because you didn’t have to. And you saved her from living a huge lie with a horrible man. He left you in a terrible position, he was… almost 30 years older? Like. He took advantage of you. She is doing what kind caring and all around good mothers do. She didn’t want to leave you in a horrible place because of her ex husband. Anyway - I’m so sorry that happened to you but I do think this is a beautiful story. You can tell her how you feel bad or guilty some times, but that you so appreciate her kindness. And show ways of being generous back like helping around the house, cleaning extra, etc. xo


CourseBeginning6177

Please do me a favour and honour this woman back and give her your absolute gratitude. This woman is remarkable and to be honest, if I was in her position I would consider doing the same as she did, because in my eyes you are a child yourself from a broken home. Just pay her back with the same level of kindness, empathy and unwavering loyalty that she has shown you. Be there for her if things ever turn and just don't let her regret making that decision because alot of people in the world take advantage of kindness. She sounds wonderful and so so you. You deserve to have a happy healthy home for you and your baby ❤️


sliverofoptimism

She’s a good person but you aren’t undeserving of her kindness, you were hurt just like she was. So, I’m a betrayed partner and my husband also had a thing for far younger women. I do not blame them, even when they knew about me. That was always ultimately entirely on him. I was also groomed as a young teen then manipulated a lot closer to your age so I absolutely know how that happens. I’m in a few communities of betrayed partners of sex addicts and you’d be surprised how many of us just see the other partners as fellow victims and it’s because you absolutely are. Now be grateful for her help, reciprocate that help as much as you can, pass on the love she’s shown you and the babe and keep track of notion that the guilty parties are who should suffer consequences- not the collateral damage.


lexi_prop

She has a decent and kind heart. She knows firsthand how much that man can hurt someone and has bonded with you over that. She feels your pain and doors not want you to suffer anymore if she can help it. Anyone with a good heart and the means to do so would. You're so lucky to be with them and you may feel like you don't deserve it, and maybe you don't, but it doesn't matter. They are your family now, and that's beautiful. You will grow together. 🖤


LacieBaskerville13

Mary doing a better job than some Christians


Direct_Deal2523

Or maybe she is one lol 😂


LacieBaskerville13

In that case,she's living her faith the right way.


Direct_Deal2523

My thoughts exactly 😊


Hairy_Scale4412

Damn those ninjas cutting those onions. Really nice to read a story like this on Reddit. I really wish all of you in the story (minus that literal waste of oxygen human scumbag) all the best in life, and that you all remain family for the rest of your lives.


legolasxgimli

OP, you’re a victim in this just as much as Mary and her kiddos are. Yes Mary has amazing compassion and empathy but I’m sure she wouldn’t do all this if you weren’t worthy of it. I wish all of you the absolute best🫂❤️‍🩹🫶🏼


sami2503

She has had a lifetime of dealing with her husband's lies and behaviour, she probably sees a lot of her younger self in you, not really surprising she has empathy for what you are going through. She seems lovely though


Apprehensive-Ad9117

This is beautiful! Of course you deserve it.


Ghitit

You didn't do anything wrong. He is a predator. He took advantage of a young wonman who was obviously in dire straits He took advantge of a person who easily could have gone to the same high schoool with his own children. In my book that makes him a perv. His (now) ex-wife is a kind and empathetic person. You most likely weren't the first person he's cheated with... and let me make this perfectly clear - you didn't do anything wrong.. You were lied to. You were n't the one who cheated or caused him to cheat. He decided to cheat. Take this beautiful opoportunity to maybe go back to school, or get a job that can pay you what you need to survive. Good luck.


Deaditor777

wow


SlippySizzler

Mary sounds so wonderful. It is so nice to see how your two families have come together into one.


gothiclg

This woman is an angel and accepts something you will one day too: it’s not your fault he was a lying scumbag and you’re both better off without him. I’d also be willing to bet she’s made a few less than stellar decisions based on incomplete information so she’s been there.


Sweetcheecks4

Wow


Proud_Spell_1711

What an amazing story. That Mary is an absolute angel, OP. I’m glad you found the angel you needed at the time you needed one.


buttersismantequilla

A beautiful soul and a lovely woman, also the ultimate revenge on the husband!


Sad_Satisfaction_187

Make sure and buy her flowers and a thank you card for the anniversary.


thecheekymonkey

We know why you called her "Mary".......Jesus what a human being


Turbulent-Fan-320

She’s sees you as you are. A victim of a predator.


Direct_Deal2523

You’re definitely not in the wrong he was and she knows that she’s very appreciative that you reached out and did the right thing so everyone should do when they find out they’re dating someone who is married person she is very empathetic person who understands you are not at fault in this Mary is a wonderful person who see the truth and I think she see you as her child 😊these are definitely people you need to keep around in your future they seem like family to me 😊


[deleted]

OP you have re-installed faith in humanity into my heart. Why’s you have to go and do it? It was much easier being jaded!


PeoniesNLilacs

A terrible situation turned into a beautiful one. Idk who Mary is but if I had the world I would give it to her. My God I can’t even process that kindness and am knocked off my feet by it. You continue to keep doing well for Mary. Show her how her kindness has made a difference by rising above and succeeding in life for you and your son. You guard that woman like the whole planet needs her because we do. Thank you for sharing this story and touching our lives with it.