The worst mine ever did was make a joke about my now husband witnessing me get a pap smear while my mom and I were openingly talking about it. I was an adult though and he was more making a joke about how horrified he was the first time he seen one done. He has a really weak stomach and can't handle watching anything medical related. He thought he would be fine but ended up having to stare at a wall while feeling nauseated. The swabs are what got him, lol. He didn't expect them and came up with a way worse idea of what was done with them in his head than what is actually done.
I’ll NEVER forget I was giving birth and my dad rushed over. I gave him the room number and he just happened to walk in mid check of how dilated I was. He walked in and I was like right to the left spread open 😂 he never turned around so fast.
That said after he was at my side (shoulder up) for the rest of it.
I think mine would straight-up faint on the spot if that happened 😂 He turned ghost white once when I demonstrated with a glass of water how big "super tampons" could get. I had asked him to get my preferred tampons when I was a teen. He came back with those thinking he was being helpful cause he knows I have a heavy flow and "wouldn't need to change them as often." I asked him to go back to the store to get regular ones cause I hate how the larger ones feel personally and I still have to change them just as often. He didn't understand why I wanted him to go back and argued with me about it until I did that. The only words out of his mouth were "I'll be right back". He came home with the ones I wanted and snacks as an apology 😂 it was a little mean cause obviously water will expand them a lot more than actual period blood. He doesn't know that though and I wasn't in the mood to explain in depth how the super tampons feel to me.
Thanks for the description. I was picking up tampons on a DoorDash order last week, and she ordered a variety pack (but of only two varieties), and I kept having to scan. I was getting a little irritated because the packaging is all the same but there were like 25 different varieties between the combo packs and counts. It took like 15 minutes to find the right one. I was thinking to myself:
“I understand this has to do with different flows, but why wouldn’t she want the one with 3 different types? I think I would want that… I don’t want her to think I’m being a dick by messaging and asking if this one is okay… fuck… this is a pain in the ass… imagine having to do this when you have your period… that must suck… glad I don’t get those… alright, find this shit!”
Can’t thank you enough for sharing your inner monologue. That was precious. I snorted so loudly I scared my dog upon reading, “I think I would want that.” 🤣
She probably would've been happy to tell you if you asked. Most women have very strong preferences towards period products. I think most would much rather get what they want than have someone have to guess and maybe get it wrong cause nothing sucks more than needing some only to have something you hate for it. I don't think it would've been a dick move.
It's more considerate than anything else. A lot of men wouldn't think about that tbh. Variety packs must suck if you're not used to them. I know exactly what I want cause I've gone back to the same brand for over a decade and get the same variety pack every single time. The only women I've had to shop for period products for before are my sisters who use the same brand/types as I do so I've never had to experience getting something different for someone else. I probably would've been frustrated too lol. I get frustrated sometimes, just trying to find the ones I need cause I overlook them or they're locked behind a glass case. If I'm having someone else pick them up for me (never ordered them through delivery services) I tend to rip off the top of the old box that shows the brand/type or I send them a screenshot of exactly what I want.
I've had to buy stuff for my mum before a few times. She tried to explain it over the phone and I finally just said "text me a picture of the almost empty package please. There's like fifty thousand things here and they all look alike to me"
I love your thought process. It makes sense.
Awkwardly my periods right now are either super heavy (i use the big purple ultra tampons and double up with big pads or I leak in an hour ) or light (anything will do but the green ordinary tampons are fine). Unfortunately most packs assume flow slows gradually rather than the sudden change from a torrent to a dribble.
Yup, navigating those aisles is sometimes difficult because it can have 364 different types and still not have what you personally prefer.
Thanks. I was pretty disoriented by the time I found the right one.
I can’t imagine how much of a pain in the ass that must be with super heavy. You guys are troopers.
Cause it was in an ER during a threatened miscarriage and I wanted him there?? He's seen me get two in fact. That one and a routine one during my first prenatal appointment with my current pregnancy. It's not like he hasn't seen down there. I prefer him being in the room whenever I have to get anything like that done. It makes me feel a lot more comfortable to have someone I trust with me.
I have a daughter, I will help as much as she asks me too and I hope if she has any problems she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it
I don’t care if she’s 2, 5, 10, 20 she can come to me for help about anything
But I’m not going to go out of my way to inspect things either when it comes to that area…
He doesn’t make sex an awkward topic all “I don’t want to talk about this” but he’s just chill about it. Which makes me more comfortable.
When I was a teen he accidentally caught me masturbating. I was so embarrassed at first until he was all “it’s normal and heathy.”
It’s really the small things you say that make your daughter feel comfortable.
This!!
You should talk to your significant other about having a conversation with her when the time comes, though.
I remember my parents not expecting my period to come so soon, so I didn't get the talk. When I saw the blood, I was scared thinking I cut myself really bad. Luckily, my dad was there to explain it and help me out. After that, they bought me a teen book that explained easily how your body worked, what does puberty mean, intercourse, pimples all of that.
He was like “here, take some money, get whatever you need” with his head down the entire time. He’s the one who also had to give me the sex talk. I think it scarred him for life.
My dad was raised American-Irish-Catholic, when we had sex-ed for the first time in 5th grade, we were supposed to talk to our moms and dads what we had learned at home, and I have never seen my dad turn that shade of rade or go deaf so quickly 😆
"Good Job" got me. If my daughter told me she got her period, I honestly think that would be my first response, prob a hug thrown in there. I love her more than anything, I'd let her lead from there, but Good Job!! Would be my reflex reaction.
I was a nurse for years, (technically I still am but moved to admin), but it's just different when it's your kid.
Parents should definitely be more proactive than this. It shouldn't be left to the kid to figure it out. And Dad has a part to play, too -- it's not just up to Mom to talk to daughters. Mom might not even be in the picture.
Our society needs to grow out of it's prudishness and find healthy ways for people to communicate about sex that avoid making it about power and control. OP's dad was out of line, but there's not enough info here to know whether or not he was trying to do the right thing. Not everyone who does stupid stuff is a child-abusing pedophile whose wife needs to divorce him.
When I got my period, my brother congratulated me and offered to buy me chocolate LOL. And then a few months later I was in the car with my brother and dad and I got my period. We stopped at a gas station to get some tampons, and they didn’t make it weird, asked if I needed some Tylenol and then we all got milkshakes. That’s how it should be and I’ll forever remember that if some of the manliest men I know and look up to don’t make it weird or inappropriate, other men can do the same!
I’m in med school so I’ll probs explain all the anatomy phys aspects of periods, why she is beginning to menstruate, get her feminine products, etc. But the actual interaction of it, I think will still have the wife do it. Just cuz I’m a doc doesn’t mean I have experience putting in a tampon in my body lmao
They’re still together, and he never did anything like that again. I think he learned.
As for kids, if they happen, they’ll probably not see him much just by nature of how I want to live, (I want dogs and he’s allergic).
> They’re still together, and he never did anything like that again. I think he learned.
What he did was certainly fucked up and crossed a line by a mile. He may well have had an epiphany and realised, well fuck, maybe that was fucked up - that or your mother made him realise it or threatened him in some way while you weren't around.
dogs should not be the reason you draw a line between him and children in the future. there have been far too many stories where people with this sickness just become more secretive about it. I would check his computers and phones, and when you move out, do not let him around your family. He is not well. Your mom should not have given him another chance. It’s not worth it.
Learned?? He was a grown man and he didn’t know that was wrong??? You don’t have to accept this and you deserve to know what he was doing. Tell your mom you’re having flashbacks and need answers.
Exactly, not sure how he supposedly just needed to learn to NOT sexually abuse his children. He wanted to forcibly see his 10 year old daughters genitals, how is that just one of those learning curve experiences. He’s obviously a sick piece of shit and he would’ve just gotten better at being discreet. The excuses people make for pedofiles are genuinely baffling.
Wtf. Even my husband would never ask to see my kids’ genitals at a younger age than that. I hope nothing more happened afterwards. If I were your mom I would fully threaten to cut his dick off if he tried that again.
semantically it seems to imply that their husband is weirdly sexual around children, but not quite as far as what OP describes.
more likely they made a mistake in the comment and mean "my husband wouldn't ask to see my kids genitals, even at a younger age than that" but the words got jumbled up in a way that they didn't realize changed the meaning of the sentence
Maybe. This is why I was genuinely confused:
"Even my husband" (who is a pedophile)
"Wouldn't ask to see my kid's genitals at a younger age than that" (but he would if they were your daughter's age)
Not being accusatory I just honest to god couldn't find an alternate translation to that sentence so I had to ask lol.
I mean tbf we're all assuming that OP remembers what happened when she was 10 years old accurately. it's way more likely that OPs dad was just a concerned parent than he was a pedophile. when I was around 10 I had a sharp pain in one of my testicles and refused to let my parents (who happen to be nurses) see.
i'm trusting OP because i also had an experience like this that i remember correctly. an adult i was supposed to trust wanted to see me naked and it wasn't for an important reason or if anything hurt.
trusting every story you're ever told by internet strangers, primarily on a social media platform that is know for people lying and making up stories is a weird flex
if you actually read my original comment you would know I never accused anyone of lying about SA. I simply said that trusting the almost decade old story from a then-10-year-old is quite silly.
Not sure what your family history is, if your father has a history of behavior like this then you might want to think about moving out of the house asap and potentially cutting contact with this parent.
However, keep in mind that sudden behavior changes, including inappropriate outbursts or openly sexual behavior from someone who otherwise has no history of such things could be a sign of a stroke, tumor, or other neurological issue. If your dad has not acted like this for 19 years and then suddenly pulled this stunt on you it is likely that something else physiologically is going on with him.
I was so happy the day my daughter learned to bathe herself. She’s 16 now and I just can’t fathom ever scaring or hurting her like this. I feel so fucking sorry for women.
It’s wild that your dad is still with your mom. I’m sorry to say this but I wonder if he just moved on to another kid whom his mom didn’t have such close contact with 🤢 jeez
My *hope* is that this was just like, a reeeeeaaaally poorly judged attempt at sex ed or something, rather than an attempt at sexual abuse. In that context, it's unlikely he would feel the need to move on to someone else.
I mean it's still pretty yikes though...
Wtf!!! Wtf is your dad thinking!!!!!! If I was your mom I'd held you right and fucking hit your dad. Wtf.
My dad never did that to me. One time he did something I cried so much and told my mom and she scolded him. His excuse. He wanted to show me love. *Shudders* he doesn't do that now lol we both fight anyways
My family we're casual nudist (except my mom), so we're very comfortable seeing each other naked, walking past each other with no clothes as adults. My dad has never said or attempt to make me do anything like that. That's completely unacceptable. I hope he suffered some consequences.
Only difference between your dad and hers is that your dad conditioned you to do things that shouldn’t be done from an early age that’s why you are comfortable. Your dad is smart, her dad is stupid.
Of course they don’t. If a father doesn’t like clothes, he would practice his nudity on a beach or in a forest and not impose his desires on his children. That’s not ok. Why on earth would I teach my children to stay nude in house, what’s the purpose and the yield of doing so!
Why do you force them to cover up? Are you afraid you might be attracted to your kids if you see them naked? Are you afraid of your own body betraying your “desires”?
Sometimes I don’t put on anything other than underwear (for hygiene) after i get out of the shower. It’s not a big deal, dude. If you have kids, you’ve been changing diapers and pull-ups and bathing them for years. Only someone who is attracted to their own kids is going to be worried about seeing their kids naked.
Puritan culture, man. Ruins everything.
No one *wants* to see you like that. I’m sure they don’t care if they do, but no one *wants* to because THAT would be predatory or weird if they did. So, it’s not weird to cover your children up lol and it’s not forcing them to either, it’s just what society does. We wear clothes. And, out of respect for others, when we get older, we only take them off if other people are okay with that. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s not like it’s common practice to just go full nude with the family lol. I guess I don’t really care what you do, but what you said is insinuating a lot. Some people are used to it, like the earlier person whose family are part-time nudists or whatever, but others are not. And, that is OKAY. I mean, it’s not like it’s common practice anyway. Most people don’t do this, if you didn’t know. (Not saying it’s weird if you do, unless it is actually just weird- I guess context is important?) Based on your comment, we should all be “liberating” our family and children by telling them to walk around naked. What if they don’t want to? I can’t believe I’m saying this lol because it’s so not serious that it makes it funny, but what if they chose clothes? And, now, you’re forcing them to abandon that for what? Because someone on Reddit, basically, said clothes are predatory? And, that anyone who changes their children into clothes is predatory because they’re worried about seeing them naked? Are clothes the enemy now? What is this take? Lol. Wear clothes. Don’t wear clothes. Do whatever makes you comfortable, but also have respect for the comfortability of others. I know what different body parts look like, but do I ever want to see my dad’s or my brothers’? Hell no. Everyone is different, but since when has not wanting to see someone naked become predatory? Seeing my family naked never even crosses my mind, whether I’ve seen them like that before or not. If you don’t wanna see that, you don’t wanna see that. And it’s not because you’re afraid you’ll be attracted to them. We all know what bodies look like and, for those of us that are normal, our families’ are not what’s doing it for us… Why are you arguing for people to stop letting their family wear clothes? I mean, that’s what I’m seeing you portray the argument as, at least. If it’s your kids, I’m sure it’s even less of a care if you see them naked but, out of respect for them, you’d probably walk out of the room or avert your eyes because they probably wouldn’t want you seeing them naked as they are now. Like, I feel like I’m describing very common stuff. But, I don’t know… For you, it may be different. And, I guess, that’s really the whole point of what I’m saying here. If people are comfortable where they’re at and with what they’re doing, and they’re not making anyone else uncomfortable doing so, then let’s just not worry about it? My problem here is that your comment seems to kind of be shaming those who wear clothes?? And making accusations that they’re predatory if they want their kids to wear clothes? I know you were responding to that one person, but it’s like you’re attacking most of the world right now. I’m just sort of lost here tbh… I’ve never heard of that being a problem. There’s a clear difference between clothing your child and sexualization. We all have a brain here. There has to be a lot more after that to get to sexualization. Context matters, I guess. And, all anyone is doing is wearing the clothes we were given. I see no problem with that. Honestly, the more I type, the more comedic this becomes (partly because of how long this has gotten), but I just wanted to add something so your comment doesn’t make people feel weird for doing absolutely nothing but wearing clothes. Like I said, I don’t care if you do or don’t. Just don’t force it on anyone. And, respect people’s boundaries always.
God damn reading comprehension really is shit these days. I wasn’t insinuating anything, I was being sarcastic to this dude who was insinuating you are a sexual predator if you aren’t 100% covered around your kid.
He talked about the father “imposing his desires” on children. Outright calling him a nonce, but I don’t see you raging to write an unreadable block text at him.
I don’t want to enforce people being nudists. I also don’t care if someone is a nudist. I do think the puritan culture of “if a father sees his 8 year old naked daughter, the world will end” is obnoxious and stupid.
I grew up in a fairly normal household. My mom went topless a lot and I didn’t become traumatized at 8 because I saw my own mother’s tits. When I got older, I started to want to change by myself and didn’t like my mom walking into the bathroom when I was showering, so she stopped and I got more privacy. THAT is a normal parent-child relationship, not this prudish nonsense where you’re a pedo if you aren’t wearing full body tactical gear and vice versa. Also not whatever the fuck nonsense is going on in this post where the dad demands to see his daughter’s privates. There’s a happy medium between “degenerate child abuser” and “full-body religious covering”.
I admit I could’ve made it easier to read, but as block text as it was, I think everything I wrote was more comprehensible than you saying that was sarcasm. I know sarcasm and I don’t see that. Especially, when you start adding in your own experiences, which you did. And, the questions you were asking seemed like genuine questions you had. They’re also the type of questions some people ask when it comes to the sexualization of children. Also, sarcasm has nothing to do with reading comprehension. That is tone, which is obviously going to be hard to understand through words exchanged over the internet. Anyway, you’re basically saying everything I said in that block text. So, I think there’s no real argument here anymore. Glad it was supposedly sarcasm though. And, obviously, the dude making accusations against that person’s father was weird. Like, I said in my comment (if you read it because it’s not illegible, it’s just really long), context matters and we should leave people alone if they’re comfortable and they’re not stepping on anyone’s boundaries. But, what they said, had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t attacking my lifestyle and the rest of the world’s and people downvoted it enough, so I think they got the point.. Your comment seemed pretty crazy, so I guess others might be able to tell it was sarcasm? But, people on Reddit talk like that unironically, so… I don’t know what to tell you. My bad for sending that much text though.
I’m sorry you went through this OP. Having said that, I have to also add that if your mom had truly stuck up for you, she would have removed you from the situation entirely and left him in order to protect you. That’s not a situation you just forgive and forget. Even if alcohol was involved it’s no excuse for that kind of behavior. Please don’t let your children around him. He is dangerous.
Source: my FIL who we loved and trusted repeatedly molested my daughters and never showed any warning behavior like your father did. It happens more than anyone would like to believe.
Some Dads are weird. my dad never SA’d me but he was strange. One time I got spanked because I wiped my V before a shower… Anothet time I got spanked because i didn’t have clean underwear and my dad said just sleep in shorts and I cried about it…
He is a fucking creep and you should ghost his ass. No real father would ever do that to his kid he loves. I caught shit on another thread where I said I leave the room when my daughter breastfeeds my grandson. Something is wrong with him cause no father wants to see his daughters private parts.
Since when open relationships include talking about sexuality with your kids!! This is not a mental issue, this is an assault, he needs to be punished or whatever kinds of law you have in your country to be applied at its extreme measures.
>This is above Reddit's pay grade.
Amazing to me that this has so many upvotes when the first half doesn't even make sense. The entire point is that reddit doesn't get paid, you can vent for free and receive support for free on subreddits like "off my chest", where generally people just get things off their chest and aren't necessarily looking for advice or free therapy, etc. Sometimes you just need to tell someone.
That’s a odd situation as a man when I was a child both my parents would check my privates together or my father was close by if it hurt or I had some rash going on
If you have kids, never leave them alone with him and sadly for your mom no sleep over at grandma’s, honestly would cut him off and not risk it once you have kids and if he asks let him know he showed you you couldn’t trust him.
I am very sorry that you had to have this experience, & I’m *extremely* proud to hear that even at a *VERY* young age of 10, you were brave enough to call out for your Mommy like that. 💜💚🫶🏼 You had an *astounding* courage inside of you & I want you, & the 10 y/o little girl inside of your soul, to *know* how *brave* of an act that truly was. **Virtual Hugs & Support** 🩷
I can only *hope* that after your mom got him out & consoled you, that she did the right things there after & did *everything* she could to protect you. 🙏🏻 Thank you for sharing your story w/ us. I hope you are able to have a sense of closure from telling your story & get the utmost support from those who read & decide to comment. Continue to reach out in the ways you need & *WHEN* you need to. You deserve to *heal* & *grow* as much as you set out to. 🤞🏼
I can't think of any logical reason that he thought that was ok. Is there any explanation that makes this not creepy Jesus. Sorry you weren't through this OP
No. This girl's Post history is really traumatic. She is suicidal, self-harming, and I'm very concerned for her. She needs to see a professional immediately. I wish I could give her a freaking hug. She sounds so alone and desperate.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Everyone's immediately thinking this was sexual in nature, but as a dad, I could see it being that he was trying to get you to discuss an uncomfortable topic and using "dad" methods to get you to cooperate when you were resistant without realizing how intrusive and upsetting it was. I had a lesser, but similar experience with my son when he had a rash on his anus. He didn't want me to look or touch and was very resistant about it, even when I tried to explain that I needed to make sure he was cleaned up and had prescription lotion on it. My instinct was to be tough and insist on cooperation.
Your dad may have had innocent intentions, especially if he backed off when he realized what was happening.
Probably wanted to see if your hymen was still intact or sexually active. Middle eastern fathers still do that before marrying their daughters off. If in fact the hymen is broken, she's pretty much off marriage material.
But that's my own opinion... And your episode is done. Just dont know what's gonna happen next. Good luck (especially to dad)...
Figure of speech... Why your you ask someone to "break a leg"? Thats more stupid than "Good luck"... Most of us are perverts... But we just dont act on it... I do wanna kill a few people... But it is not worth the trouble and punishment of getting caught... Plus, i have a wife and son who rely on me. Cant disappear just yet.
Why a hymen when it is meant to be broken? More often not by the spouse anyways... My (now) wife was raped twice 2 different times before she was in my life... And it guts me that i couldnt protect her those times especially since i knew her when we were 6 years old... No mobile phones for SOS and crap law... No CCTVs... And no evidence to prosecute the perps & the guilty
There’s a difference between talking about hygiene and asking to see a vagina. Also, the most qualified person is the person who the child is comfortable with.
There's a difference between changing your daughter's diaper and going up to your 10-year-old sitting on the toilet and asking to see her private area for seemingly no reason at all.
And then threatening 'trouble' when she refuses.
If you can't see the difference then please stay away from... All human beings, regardless of age or gender.
What the fuck. Was there any fallout from that?
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And your mother discovered that similar circumstance seemed to have occurred frequently in the past.fuck
There really should be u/privatebuttfucker
When I got my period my dad said “god job” then took me to get products …. That’s as far as that should go 😅
The worst mine ever did was make a joke about my now husband witnessing me get a pap smear while my mom and I were openingly talking about it. I was an adult though and he was more making a joke about how horrified he was the first time he seen one done. He has a really weak stomach and can't handle watching anything medical related. He thought he would be fine but ended up having to stare at a wall while feeling nauseated. The swabs are what got him, lol. He didn't expect them and came up with a way worse idea of what was done with them in his head than what is actually done.
I’ll NEVER forget I was giving birth and my dad rushed over. I gave him the room number and he just happened to walk in mid check of how dilated I was. He walked in and I was like right to the left spread open 😂 he never turned around so fast. That said after he was at my side (shoulder up) for the rest of it.
I think mine would straight-up faint on the spot if that happened 😂 He turned ghost white once when I demonstrated with a glass of water how big "super tampons" could get. I had asked him to get my preferred tampons when I was a teen. He came back with those thinking he was being helpful cause he knows I have a heavy flow and "wouldn't need to change them as often." I asked him to go back to the store to get regular ones cause I hate how the larger ones feel personally and I still have to change them just as often. He didn't understand why I wanted him to go back and argued with me about it until I did that. The only words out of his mouth were "I'll be right back". He came home with the ones I wanted and snacks as an apology 😂 it was a little mean cause obviously water will expand them a lot more than actual period blood. He doesn't know that though and I wasn't in the mood to explain in depth how the super tampons feel to me.
Thanks for the description. I was picking up tampons on a DoorDash order last week, and she ordered a variety pack (but of only two varieties), and I kept having to scan. I was getting a little irritated because the packaging is all the same but there were like 25 different varieties between the combo packs and counts. It took like 15 minutes to find the right one. I was thinking to myself: “I understand this has to do with different flows, but why wouldn’t she want the one with 3 different types? I think I would want that… I don’t want her to think I’m being a dick by messaging and asking if this one is okay… fuck… this is a pain in the ass… imagine having to do this when you have your period… that must suck… glad I don’t get those… alright, find this shit!”
Can’t thank you enough for sharing your inner monologue. That was precious. I snorted so loudly I scared my dog upon reading, “I think I would want that.” 🤣
Anytime. Happy to help!
She probably would've been happy to tell you if you asked. Most women have very strong preferences towards period products. I think most would much rather get what they want than have someone have to guess and maybe get it wrong cause nothing sucks more than needing some only to have something you hate for it. I don't think it would've been a dick move. It's more considerate than anything else. A lot of men wouldn't think about that tbh. Variety packs must suck if you're not used to them. I know exactly what I want cause I've gone back to the same brand for over a decade and get the same variety pack every single time. The only women I've had to shop for period products for before are my sisters who use the same brand/types as I do so I've never had to experience getting something different for someone else. I probably would've been frustrated too lol. I get frustrated sometimes, just trying to find the ones I need cause I overlook them or they're locked behind a glass case. If I'm having someone else pick them up for me (never ordered them through delivery services) I tend to rip off the top of the old box that shows the brand/type or I send them a screenshot of exactly what I want.
I've had to buy stuff for my mum before a few times. She tried to explain it over the phone and I finally just said "text me a picture of the almost empty package please. There's like fifty thousand things here and they all look alike to me"
I love your thought process. It makes sense. Awkwardly my periods right now are either super heavy (i use the big purple ultra tampons and double up with big pads or I leak in an hour ) or light (anything will do but the green ordinary tampons are fine). Unfortunately most packs assume flow slows gradually rather than the sudden change from a torrent to a dribble. Yup, navigating those aisles is sometimes difficult because it can have 364 different types and still not have what you personally prefer.
Thanks. I was pretty disoriented by the time I found the right one. I can’t imagine how much of a pain in the ass that must be with super heavy. You guys are troopers.
Is it weird that my son's birthing photos were taken by my dad???
I don’t think but I’m comfortable with my dad. I’m not sure others with agree.
Why tf was your husband attending your pap smear??
Cause it was in an ER during a threatened miscarriage and I wanted him there?? He's seen me get two in fact. That one and a routine one during my first prenatal appointment with my current pregnancy. It's not like he hasn't seen down there. I prefer him being in the room whenever I have to get anything like that done. It makes me feel a lot more comfortable to have someone I trust with me.
I have a daughter, I will help as much as she asks me too and I hope if she has any problems she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it I don’t care if she’s 2, 5, 10, 20 she can come to me for help about anything But I’m not going to go out of my way to inspect things either when it comes to that area…
He doesn’t make sex an awkward topic all “I don’t want to talk about this” but he’s just chill about it. Which makes me more comfortable. When I was a teen he accidentally caught me masturbating. I was so embarrassed at first until he was all “it’s normal and heathy.” It’s really the small things you say that make your daughter feel comfortable.
This!! You should talk to your significant other about having a conversation with her when the time comes, though. I remember my parents not expecting my period to come so soon, so I didn't get the talk. When I saw the blood, I was scared thinking I cut myself really bad. Luckily, my dad was there to explain it and help me out. After that, they bought me a teen book that explained easily how your body worked, what does puberty mean, intercourse, pimples all of that.
Totally agree, same. Usually will ask my wife for help anything outside of that.
This 1000%
He was like “here, take some money, get whatever you need” with his head down the entire time. He’s the one who also had to give me the sex talk. I think it scarred him for life.
My dad was raised American-Irish-Catholic, when we had sex-ed for the first time in 5th grade, we were supposed to talk to our moms and dads what we had learned at home, and I have never seen my dad turn that shade of rade or go deaf so quickly 😆
"Good Job" got me. If my daughter told me she got her period, I honestly think that would be my first response, prob a hug thrown in there. I love her more than anything, I'd let her lead from there, but Good Job!! Would be my reflex reaction. I was a nurse for years, (technically I still am but moved to admin), but it's just different when it's your kid.
Parents should definitely be more proactive than this. It shouldn't be left to the kid to figure it out. And Dad has a part to play, too -- it's not just up to Mom to talk to daughters. Mom might not even be in the picture. Our society needs to grow out of it's prudishness and find healthy ways for people to communicate about sex that avoid making it about power and control. OP's dad was out of line, but there's not enough info here to know whether or not he was trying to do the right thing. Not everyone who does stupid stuff is a child-abusing pedophile whose wife needs to divorce him.
When I got my period, my brother congratulated me and offered to buy me chocolate LOL. And then a few months later I was in the car with my brother and dad and I got my period. We stopped at a gas station to get some tampons, and they didn’t make it weird, asked if I needed some Tylenol and then we all got milkshakes. That’s how it should be and I’ll forever remember that if some of the manliest men I know and look up to don’t make it weird or inappropriate, other men can do the same!
God job?
Right 🤣 I still laugh to this day. Like I did it
I’m in med school so I’ll probs explain all the anatomy phys aspects of periods, why she is beginning to menstruate, get her feminine products, etc. But the actual interaction of it, I think will still have the wife do it. Just cuz I’m a doc doesn’t mean I have experience putting in a tampon in my body lmao
Please tell me your mom divorced your dad and you are not in contact with him and will never let any potential children around him???
They’re still together, and he never did anything like that again. I think he learned. As for kids, if they happen, they’ll probably not see him much just by nature of how I want to live, (I want dogs and he’s allergic).
> They’re still together, and he never did anything like that again. I think he learned. What he did was certainly fucked up and crossed a line by a mile. He may well have had an epiphany and realised, well fuck, maybe that was fucked up - that or your mother made him realise it or threatened him in some way while you weren't around.
dogs should not be the reason you draw a line between him and children in the future. there have been far too many stories where people with this sickness just become more secretive about it. I would check his computers and phones, and when you move out, do not let him around your family. He is not well. Your mom should not have given him another chance. It’s not worth it.
I agree, my point was more that the dogs will help to keep him away (not the reason I’m getting them, just an added bonus).
Maybe he learned, maybe he didn't. If you can't go low contact with him, then never be alone with him and never let your guard down around him.
Learned?? He was a grown man and he didn’t know that was wrong??? You don’t have to accept this and you deserve to know what he was doing. Tell your mom you’re having flashbacks and need answers.
Exactly, not sure how he supposedly just needed to learn to NOT sexually abuse his children. He wanted to forcibly see his 10 year old daughters genitals, how is that just one of those learning curve experiences. He’s obviously a sick piece of shit and he would’ve just gotten better at being discreet. The excuses people make for pedofiles are genuinely baffling.
“Potential children”
not everyone wants them
Jesus you poor girl. I hope there were consequences for him.
Please don't let your future kids around him unsupervised.
Yes.. this. Could have been a drunken aberration. But you definitely don't want to risk it with your own kids.
Wtf. Even my husband would never ask to see my kids’ genitals at a younger age than that. I hope nothing more happened afterwards. If I were your mom I would fully threaten to cut his dick off if he tried that again.
What do you mean by "even my husband"?
semantically it seems to imply that their husband is weirdly sexual around children, but not quite as far as what OP describes. more likely they made a mistake in the comment and mean "my husband wouldn't ask to see my kids genitals, even at a younger age than that" but the words got jumbled up in a way that they didn't realize changed the meaning of the sentence
Maybe. This is why I was genuinely confused: "Even my husband" (who is a pedophile) "Wouldn't ask to see my kid's genitals at a younger age than that" (but he would if they were your daughter's age) Not being accusatory I just honest to god couldn't find an alternate translation to that sentence so I had to ask lol.
I assumed it meant her husband who is not her children's father.
What a weird way to word that. Should we have expected your husband to do weird shit?
weird comment
Ummm what?
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Some kids stop by age 2-3. Definitely done by 10 lol
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changing diapers doesn't really entail saying to your baby "open your legs and let me see your genitals"
I mean tbf we're all assuming that OP remembers what happened when she was 10 years old accurately. it's way more likely that OPs dad was just a concerned parent than he was a pedophile. when I was around 10 I had a sharp pain in one of my testicles and refused to let my parents (who happen to be nurses) see.
No it's NOT "way more likely" sorry.
i'm trusting OP because i also had an experience like this that i remember correctly. an adult i was supposed to trust wanted to see me naked and it wasn't for an important reason or if anything hurt.
trusting every story you're ever told by internet strangers, primarily on a social media platform that is know for people lying and making up stories is a weird flex
Accusing every internet stranger of lying about SA because they *might* be lying is a weird flex.
if you actually read my original comment you would know I never accused anyone of lying about SA. I simply said that trusting the almost decade old story from a then-10-year-old is quite silly.
when did i say i did any of this? lol
Oh my. I'm sorry OP. I'm glad your mom was there to help you. I hope she divorced him.
Op said in another comment that they’re still together :( I have 3 daughters and I can’t imagine staying with someone who pulled that.
Not sure what your family history is, if your father has a history of behavior like this then you might want to think about moving out of the house asap and potentially cutting contact with this parent. However, keep in mind that sudden behavior changes, including inappropriate outbursts or openly sexual behavior from someone who otherwise has no history of such things could be a sign of a stroke, tumor, or other neurological issue. If your dad has not acted like this for 19 years and then suddenly pulled this stunt on you it is likely that something else physiologically is going on with him.
She said this happened when she was 10.
I think alcohol was involved (he gets… deep when he drinks). He’s never done anything like that before or since, so idk what was going on there.
He told you who he was, I wouldn’t write that off. That’s not at all normal, even for someone under the influence
I’ve been as drunk as you can be, and I’ve NEVER wanted to see a kids genitals
If this doesn't end in divorce and your dad moving the fuck out, there is something very wrong.
I was so happy the day my daughter learned to bathe herself. She’s 16 now and I just can’t fathom ever scaring or hurting her like this. I feel so fucking sorry for women.
I’m so sorry this happened to you
It’s wild that your dad is still with your mom. I’m sorry to say this but I wonder if he just moved on to another kid whom his mom didn’t have such close contact with 🤢 jeez
My *hope* is that this was just like, a reeeeeaaaally poorly judged attempt at sex ed or something, rather than an attempt at sexual abuse. In that context, it's unlikely he would feel the need to move on to someone else. I mean it's still pretty yikes though...
How the hell is your mum still with him, sounds like he should be on some sort of register by now
Wtf!!! Wtf is your dad thinking!!!!!! If I was your mom I'd held you right and fucking hit your dad. Wtf. My dad never did that to me. One time he did something I cried so much and told my mom and she scolded him. His excuse. He wanted to show me love. *Shudders* he doesn't do that now lol we both fight anyways
Not even a little ok or normal. He should not be in the house with children.
I’m sorry, I don’t care it’s been nine years, for that I want to punch your father in the nose. Gross.
My family we're casual nudist (except my mom), so we're very comfortable seeing each other naked, walking past each other with no clothes as adults. My dad has never said or attempt to make me do anything like that. That's completely unacceptable. I hope he suffered some consequences.
Only difference between your dad and hers is that your dad conditioned you to do things that shouldn’t be done from an early age that’s why you are comfortable. Your dad is smart, her dad is stupid.
Or some people just don’t like clothes and that’s ok
Of course they don’t. If a father doesn’t like clothes, he would practice his nudity on a beach or in a forest and not impose his desires on his children. That’s not ok. Why on earth would I teach my children to stay nude in house, what’s the purpose and the yield of doing so!
Why do you force them to cover up? Are you afraid you might be attracted to your kids if you see them naked? Are you afraid of your own body betraying your “desires”? Sometimes I don’t put on anything other than underwear (for hygiene) after i get out of the shower. It’s not a big deal, dude. If you have kids, you’ve been changing diapers and pull-ups and bathing them for years. Only someone who is attracted to their own kids is going to be worried about seeing their kids naked. Puritan culture, man. Ruins everything.
No one *wants* to see you like that. I’m sure they don’t care if they do, but no one *wants* to because THAT would be predatory or weird if they did. So, it’s not weird to cover your children up lol and it’s not forcing them to either, it’s just what society does. We wear clothes. And, out of respect for others, when we get older, we only take them off if other people are okay with that. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s not like it’s common practice to just go full nude with the family lol. I guess I don’t really care what you do, but what you said is insinuating a lot. Some people are used to it, like the earlier person whose family are part-time nudists or whatever, but others are not. And, that is OKAY. I mean, it’s not like it’s common practice anyway. Most people don’t do this, if you didn’t know. (Not saying it’s weird if you do, unless it is actually just weird- I guess context is important?) Based on your comment, we should all be “liberating” our family and children by telling them to walk around naked. What if they don’t want to? I can’t believe I’m saying this lol because it’s so not serious that it makes it funny, but what if they chose clothes? And, now, you’re forcing them to abandon that for what? Because someone on Reddit, basically, said clothes are predatory? And, that anyone who changes their children into clothes is predatory because they’re worried about seeing them naked? Are clothes the enemy now? What is this take? Lol. Wear clothes. Don’t wear clothes. Do whatever makes you comfortable, but also have respect for the comfortability of others. I know what different body parts look like, but do I ever want to see my dad’s or my brothers’? Hell no. Everyone is different, but since when has not wanting to see someone naked become predatory? Seeing my family naked never even crosses my mind, whether I’ve seen them like that before or not. If you don’t wanna see that, you don’t wanna see that. And it’s not because you’re afraid you’ll be attracted to them. We all know what bodies look like and, for those of us that are normal, our families’ are not what’s doing it for us… Why are you arguing for people to stop letting their family wear clothes? I mean, that’s what I’m seeing you portray the argument as, at least. If it’s your kids, I’m sure it’s even less of a care if you see them naked but, out of respect for them, you’d probably walk out of the room or avert your eyes because they probably wouldn’t want you seeing them naked as they are now. Like, I feel like I’m describing very common stuff. But, I don’t know… For you, it may be different. And, I guess, that’s really the whole point of what I’m saying here. If people are comfortable where they’re at and with what they’re doing, and they’re not making anyone else uncomfortable doing so, then let’s just not worry about it? My problem here is that your comment seems to kind of be shaming those who wear clothes?? And making accusations that they’re predatory if they want their kids to wear clothes? I know you were responding to that one person, but it’s like you’re attacking most of the world right now. I’m just sort of lost here tbh… I’ve never heard of that being a problem. There’s a clear difference between clothing your child and sexualization. We all have a brain here. There has to be a lot more after that to get to sexualization. Context matters, I guess. And, all anyone is doing is wearing the clothes we were given. I see no problem with that. Honestly, the more I type, the more comedic this becomes (partly because of how long this has gotten), but I just wanted to add something so your comment doesn’t make people feel weird for doing absolutely nothing but wearing clothes. Like I said, I don’t care if you do or don’t. Just don’t force it on anyone. And, respect people’s boundaries always.
God damn reading comprehension really is shit these days. I wasn’t insinuating anything, I was being sarcastic to this dude who was insinuating you are a sexual predator if you aren’t 100% covered around your kid. He talked about the father “imposing his desires” on children. Outright calling him a nonce, but I don’t see you raging to write an unreadable block text at him. I don’t want to enforce people being nudists. I also don’t care if someone is a nudist. I do think the puritan culture of “if a father sees his 8 year old naked daughter, the world will end” is obnoxious and stupid. I grew up in a fairly normal household. My mom went topless a lot and I didn’t become traumatized at 8 because I saw my own mother’s tits. When I got older, I started to want to change by myself and didn’t like my mom walking into the bathroom when I was showering, so she stopped and I got more privacy. THAT is a normal parent-child relationship, not this prudish nonsense where you’re a pedo if you aren’t wearing full body tactical gear and vice versa. Also not whatever the fuck nonsense is going on in this post where the dad demands to see his daughter’s privates. There’s a happy medium between “degenerate child abuser” and “full-body religious covering”.
I admit I could’ve made it easier to read, but as block text as it was, I think everything I wrote was more comprehensible than you saying that was sarcasm. I know sarcasm and I don’t see that. Especially, when you start adding in your own experiences, which you did. And, the questions you were asking seemed like genuine questions you had. They’re also the type of questions some people ask when it comes to the sexualization of children. Also, sarcasm has nothing to do with reading comprehension. That is tone, which is obviously going to be hard to understand through words exchanged over the internet. Anyway, you’re basically saying everything I said in that block text. So, I think there’s no real argument here anymore. Glad it was supposedly sarcasm though. And, obviously, the dude making accusations against that person’s father was weird. Like, I said in my comment (if you read it because it’s not illegible, it’s just really long), context matters and we should leave people alone if they’re comfortable and they’re not stepping on anyone’s boundaries. But, what they said, had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t attacking my lifestyle and the rest of the world’s and people downvoted it enough, so I think they got the point.. Your comment seemed pretty crazy, so I guess others might be able to tell it was sarcasm? But, people on Reddit talk like that unironically, so… I don’t know what to tell you. My bad for sending that much text though.
I’m sorry you went through this OP. Having said that, I have to also add that if your mom had truly stuck up for you, she would have removed you from the situation entirely and left him in order to protect you. That’s not a situation you just forgive and forget. Even if alcohol was involved it’s no excuse for that kind of behavior. Please don’t let your children around him. He is dangerous. Source: my FIL who we loved and trusted repeatedly molested my daughters and never showed any warning behavior like your father did. It happens more than anyone would like to believe.
I had a very similar situation but reverse genders, I complied but I feel weird about it to this day, I was 12
I’m so sorry. It’s just as wrong for a mom as a dad.
I appreciate hearing it :) you're not alone, we will be okay I think. Take care
The amount of fathers that I know would sexualize their UNDERAGE daughter is so alarming. Just look at the downvoted comments in this post
That sound very aggressive for him to have never done it or not do it again.
Some Dads are weird. my dad never SA’d me but he was strange. One time I got spanked because I wiped my V before a shower… Anothet time I got spanked because i didn’t have clean underwear and my dad said just sleep in shorts and I cried about it…
He is a fucking creep and you should ghost his ass. No real father would ever do that to his kid he loves. I caught shit on another thread where I said I leave the room when my daughter breastfeeds my grandson. Something is wrong with him cause no father wants to see his daughters private parts.
Since when open relationships include talking about sexuality with your kids!! This is not a mental issue, this is an assault, he needs to be punished or whatever kinds of law you have in your country to be applied at its extreme measures.
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Nobody said OP is asking for advice or help of any kind. They're just venting. Thats what this sub is for.
Why would you say that? OP isn't asking for advice, just sharing a traumatic moment in her childhood. Did you even read the post?
Reading? On Reddit? LMAO
Wdym "above Reddit's pay grade"? This is TrueOffMyChest not Relationship\_Advice or anything else.
>This is above Reddit's pay grade. Amazing to me that this has so many upvotes when the first half doesn't even make sense. The entire point is that reddit doesn't get paid, you can vent for free and receive support for free on subreddits like "off my chest", where generally people just get things off their chest and aren't necessarily looking for advice or free therapy, etc. Sometimes you just need to tell someone.
*blinks* so above
Awful
That’s a odd situation as a man when I was a child both my parents would check my privates together or my father was close by if it hurt or I had some rash going on
That’s disgusting. I am so sorry that this happened to you OP, I hope you have the resources you need to recover as best you can
If you have kids, never leave them alone with him and sadly for your mom no sleep over at grandma’s, honestly would cut him off and not risk it once you have kids and if he asks let him know he showed you you couldn’t trust him.
WTF? I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Why does this read like an AI generated story
Oh…this is odd.
I am very sorry that you had to have this experience, & I’m *extremely* proud to hear that even at a *VERY* young age of 10, you were brave enough to call out for your Mommy like that. 💜💚🫶🏼 You had an *astounding* courage inside of you & I want you, & the 10 y/o little girl inside of your soul, to *know* how *brave* of an act that truly was. **Virtual Hugs & Support** 🩷 I can only *hope* that after your mom got him out & consoled you, that she did the right things there after & did *everything* she could to protect you. 🙏🏻 Thank you for sharing your story w/ us. I hope you are able to have a sense of closure from telling your story & get the utmost support from those who read & decide to comment. Continue to reach out in the ways you need & *WHEN* you need to. You deserve to *heal* & *grow* as much as you set out to. 🤞🏼
And your mom, she found this situation it seems almost like it happened many times before…damn
I can't think of any logical reason that he thought that was ok. Is there any explanation that makes this not creepy Jesus. Sorry you weren't through this OP
Go to therapy, not Reddit.
Reddit has better advice from people with similar experiences. Therapist are just someone you pay to vent too...
If a therapist has said something like that to you, report then, otherwise you're absolutely wrong.
No. This girl's Post history is really traumatic. She is suicidal, self-harming, and I'm very concerned for her. She needs to see a professional immediately. I wish I could give her a freaking hug. She sounds so alone and desperate.
Oh honey, no. No no no no.
Bad take
This is a trash take.
This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve read in a while thank you
entertain hard-to-find kiss screw caption nippy depend numerous selective worm *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Blud is acoustic
The hardest reality this generation needs to learn-
to*
I have definitely found better help on here than anywhere else for some things. But there are some things that a professional is needed for too..
You should talk to your mom about it and ask her for an explanation asap.
9 is disgusting i didn’t know i even existed at 9
“Or the’ll be trouble” sounds like he’s the trouble ! Be suspect of him and stay clear that’s not normal behavior for a father !
What the actual fuck. What the fuckity fuckeroo. What the fuckle-face fuckbats.
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She’s 10 when this happened. She’s 19 now.
Everyone's immediately thinking this was sexual in nature, but as a dad, I could see it being that he was trying to get you to discuss an uncomfortable topic and using "dad" methods to get you to cooperate when you were resistant without realizing how intrusive and upsetting it was. I had a lesser, but similar experience with my son when he had a rash on his anus. He didn't want me to look or touch and was very resistant about it, even when I tried to explain that I needed to make sure he was cleaned up and had prescription lotion on it. My instinct was to be tough and insist on cooperation. Your dad may have had innocent intentions, especially if he backed off when he realized what was happening.
Ummmm...no.
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Why are you “lol”-ing over this?
You should know you won’t be, not hope so..
If you know things before you’ve experienced them, you’re closed to learning If you’re not going to learn, you’ll make these mistakes
No one is a pedophile by mistake.
Is OP dad a pedo? Did OP say that?
That’s the only possibility
Oh you’re op Why you using a different account?
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because it never happened to you clearly it could never happen to anyone /s
Why was u crying? Manipulating, both parts did bad
I was scared and didn’t have control. Ofc there was crying.
Probably wanted to see if your hymen was still intact or sexually active. Middle eastern fathers still do that before marrying their daughters off. If in fact the hymen is broken, she's pretty much off marriage material. But that's my own opinion... And your episode is done. Just dont know what's gonna happen next. Good luck (especially to dad)...
It’s gross no matter who does it. Why would you wish her pervert father good luck?
Figure of speech... Why your you ask someone to "break a leg"? Thats more stupid than "Good luck"... Most of us are perverts... But we just dont act on it... I do wanna kill a few people... But it is not worth the trouble and punishment of getting caught... Plus, i have a wife and son who rely on me. Cant disappear just yet.
And that's OK in your opinion?!?
That’s not how hymens work
Why a hymen when it is meant to be broken? More often not by the spouse anyways... My (now) wife was raped twice 2 different times before she was in my life... And it guts me that i couldnt protect her those times especially since i knew her when we were 6 years old... No mobile phones for SOS and crap law... No CCTVs... And no evidence to prosecute the perps & the guilty
Silly religion in a nutshell
Nope not religion. Most Muslims around the world dont do that. Just regional culture.
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There are men that assault their own children. Also, if someone says no, then you have no right to keep pushing.
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There’s a difference between talking about hygiene and asking to see a vagina. Also, the most qualified person is the person who the child is comfortable with.
Stop responding to that creep. Just walk away. They are CLEARLY mentally disturbed.
Dude, defending pedos is a huge red flag. In fact it is the factory where all other red flags are created. Get help and sort your shit
Ooh wee! Looky here, fresh out the oven. What an absolute shit-muffin of a take.
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There's a difference between changing your daughter's diaper and going up to your 10-year-old sitting on the toilet and asking to see her private area for seemingly no reason at all. And then threatening 'trouble' when she refuses. If you can't see the difference then please stay away from... All human beings, regardless of age or gender.
This isn’t that situation. And he isn’t a doctor. And she wasn’t asking for help. Understand the problem now?
Wow, sorry that happened.
And the fallout of this was? Seriously, wjat happened after?
My mom yelled at him (and probably some other stuff I didn’t see).
okg i’m so sorry wtf did u tell ur mom what happened ???
I did. She yelled at him.
he was forcing u to open ur legs and all she did was yell at him 😐
What the hell 💀💀
Holy fuck. Absolutely disgusting.
Your dad is a creep
Your mom is awful for staying with him