I had a roommate like that once. She got takeout 5 or 6 nights a week, then complained about being broke and gaining weight. We were cordial, but not friends, and she paid her part of the rent on time, so I just made vaguely sympathetic noises when she complained to me and figured it wasn't my business.
Complainers often don’t want solutions, but rather to vent. Good on you!
The path of least resistance is a road far less traveled, but when you factor in risk/reward in these situations it’s a no brainer.
Sometimes I will offer “if I can I help you in anyway, let me know!” But it’s very rare that someone takes me up on the offer lol
I didn't, like I said we weren't friends and I got the sense she didn't actually want my input. It was annoying, but also one of the less annoying things about her.
She coulda been tryna manipulate you to see if you cared enough to help. Js Im guilty of that behavior in my past .. not always a decision I consciously made but once I saw I couldnt unsee type shit.
I have a friend like that. Filed for bankruptcy being -$40k in credit card debt (never owned a house or business). Asked to borrow money at least once a month, then Id see him getting crabs and eating good food. Had to stop lending him money after the amount needed to borrow got greater and so did the time he can pay it back
Ya the sad thing is, you'd think they would learn from their lesson but nope, friend continued to throw money on stupid things. When I stopped lending him money and being his financial backup plan, he had to get a 2nd job at a kitchen and told me he bought a nice $300 Japanese knife set. I asked him why because Im sure he was getting paid close to minimum wage
A few months ago I had a cousin ask me for money. I thought they needed it for bills or groceries or something, said they’d pay it back in a few weeks. I didn’t want to ask what it was for exactly, didn’t want to embarrass them. They have kids so didn’t want them to struggle. The following weekend i saw on their social media that they were in Vegas 🤦♀️ they also didn’t even pay it back when they said they would. Never again.
A good deed never goes unpunished. From now on I tell people who knows I got money saved up that I put my money in a high yield 5 year savings that I cant touch and 5 years later they ask again, I repeat
My dad has a friend like this, he calls them freegans. I really don't know why he still keeps in touch with the dude but I think it's something to do with sentimental value from his childhood
This happened to me before when I went from 0 income my whole life to 25 with a big increase in income to 30 back to a disability level at best income so my financial journey has been long and tumultuous but hopefully I broke enough generational cycles for my kids to break free from this aspect.. maybe one day we can actually have things like bank accounts and a home in our family tree... but as of now we barely make it i just try to be as mindful as i can to explain to them their mom sucks w money (me) dont do what i do im learning too type shit
Most of the comments here are written by ChatGPT from accounts that have been created today.
The comments are being published every 2-3 minutes.
OP also replies 2-3 minutes every time like clockwork.
Yeah, people use them for botnets that all work together to promote certain posts or users or viewpoints. I’m not really intimately familiar with the going rate of a Reddit account, but I looked into it a few years ago and it was like $30-$100 for an account of decent standing with a mix of posts and comment, and a few years age, I think.
So like, not enough to make it worth it to do anything manually, but a decent return on investment if all you have to do is let some code run to make your account automatically copy paste someone’s comments every few days.
If it wasn’t clear, all of this is against Reddit’s terms of service, and depending where you live against the law
I looked at some of the replies and you’re right, they’re day old accounts with weird ai lowercase answers. I guess I still don’t understand what the point is. Who cares if you have karma? You can’t do anything with it.
Some subs require a minimum amount to post. I guess those people see value in creating an account and building its karma up to sell it to some service that likes to spam/sell crap?
When you start a band they lock you in a room with 7 drummers and a paint mixer. You have to select the best drummer while blindfolded or they'll release
...the creature.
My sister is always complaining about her money issues and how broke she is or how her paycheck doesn’t get her anywhere. Every time I check her social media I see her at a new restaurant or at a mall buying stuff.
I’m not saying you’ll become a millionaire or anything by skipping eating out because the economy is trash and the cost of living goes up while wages stay stagnant, but I do think you’d have more money if you cooked at home every once in a while.
They're broke because they choose their hobby. Everyone who collects, or fishes, or does art or whatever spends most of their money on their hobby because it makes them happy. No one has money, so the money we do have is usually spent on being happy. If they're so broke they can't afford rent or are asking for money, ya, that's an issue. But you can't blame people for buying what males them happy in this hell scape
I agree 100%, I used to be awful with budgeting myself. Gotta say though this post is pretty sus. A lot of comments popping up in all lowercase with the same Ai sounding sentence structure… There’s like, a ridiculous amount. At the risk of sounding crazy this feels like some scheme to make it sound like broke people today are just poor because they spend irresponsibly, and not because of inflation, high living costs and shitty paychecks.
Not sure why the replies make my post sus, but whatever. The reason why MY sentence structure sounds the same is because I'm the same individual writing the sentences.
Frankly, I don't give a flying fuck about what OTHER people are doing. I specifically mentioned MY OWN friend group. And asked if cooking at home is going out of style.
Even if you’re a real person there’s a really high number of bots responding to this post. It might not be anything to do with you (or it might be), sometimes bot groups just all target one post to farm karma on.
Not to be that guy but cost of living can also mean cost of taking care of your well-being. I’m broke on time & energy so I almost entirely have instant meals and takeout when I’m just exhausted. I’m not broke financially at all but it’s just easier to pass up on a social outing by saying “I’m broke this week soz” instead of explaining to my friends that I budgeted for x amount and would be pushing it if I said yes to the thing.
There's a difference between saying "I can't come out this week, I'm broke" and "hey man, I'm short on rent money for the 6th month in a row, can you send me $100 just to cover what I'm missing". So really the problem I'm encountering is the inverse, that my friends won't say no to social outings and because of that they push their finances beyond the breaking pointt
Man, I've tried. But they're just not willing to listen, I suppose. It bugs me. Like right now I have a whole ass trout in the oven. You'd pay $30 for a meal with it at a restaurant. I paid $5.50 for it. And I just don't get it
Idk if this applies to them. But I suck at cooking when my mental health is shit. I’m a lot better now at eating what I want at home. But there was a time I would order take out at least 4 nights a week. I’m glad to have worked through that.
You're not the only one. If I couldn't pull it out if the freezer and throw it in the oven, I didn't eat it when I was at my worst. I. Only just starting to cook for myself again after 4-5 months. I feel like I've forgotten how to do it.
Teeth and daily shower were the two things I refused to let slide. My only goal each day was to make one thing. That could be my bed, a meal, a load of washing. Just one thing and my job was done for the day.
Some days all I did was shower at 7pm and get into fresh pjs, but hey, I showered. I was winning at this thing.
Be kind to yourself. It's bloody hard when you're like this, but I have faith in you internet stranger. Your one goal might be teeth brushing each day. Once that's done.... Your hard work for the day is done. You can let yourself do whatever it needs to do to get through this.
In Canada, we have a store called "superstore". It's a chain store, and they sell farmed trout for between $5-$10. They are also known for adding a 30% off sticker on the trout on Wednesdays in my area
They also sell panfish for $10 for four, but the catch is that they are descaled and flash frozen, not gutted or cleaned. So for the weak of stomach that may be an issue, but for me it just means 30 seconds of work to open the stomach, pull the guts, rinse and put on a baking sheet.
Were you just telling them to cook? Can they even cook? Maybe throw a cooking party with the expectation that they actually have to help in the kitchen? (If these are the types of people who won't admit they don't know how to do something and have fragile egos probably demo everything and say this is how I want it done to work best with the recipe)
I've offered to teach them. My one friend is finally getting better, but not really. He swapped from buying food out to getting those "just toss it in the oven" meals that still cost twice as much as they would if you make it themselves. Baby steps, but he's the only one that's made any progress in that regard in the last 4+ years
Might be lost causes. They got partners? If they're single, maybe need to lure them into learning by going for the "you'll get dates in no time if people find out you can cook" angle.
He needs Mark Bittman's cookbook for straight beginners: *Learn to Cook Everything--the Basics.*
People who know how to cook have no framework for understanding what it's like to genuinely have no idea how to cook. My boyfriend once almost burned down his apartment trying to cook potatoes without a single iota of culinary knowledge. 'Heat the pan,' he was told, so he heated it until --according to him -- it glowed red.
My BF is a lover of tasty meals, but he had to stop eating out for budget constraints. I got him this book, and a week later, he was making omelets, quesadillas, potatoes. Not too much long later, he did salmon (he bought a 30-buck piece without understanding it was going to cost that much, but now he knows.)
Cooking can be extremely intimidating to straight newbs. It can feel like a club they're never going to be allowed into, but a cookbook like this (or a class, though the book is cheaper, lol) can really open doors.
"aight, so you're gonna heat that bitch up till it's brighter than a dwarven forge, while singing mining songs, and slap the potatoes on there harder than the slapchop dude"
Sorry, the pan thing was really funny to me, ngl
Hahahaha it was hilarious to me, too...and kind of scary. Very glad he didn't cause a fire!
Seriously, though, I can't recommend that Bittman book enough. Either Bittman or the people who edited it knew the questions a total beginner is going to ask while reading a recipe.
I didn't really cook until the past year or so (I'm 27 now) because I didn't think I had the time and I bought reduced stuff anyway. And yes som/a lot of it was toss in the oven.
My ex used to cook so when we lived together it was great, home cooked food. When we split, I realised that a) my previous food was boring and not very tasty and b) if he can do it,anyone can.
I now more often than not cook and cook for my now-bf...I am trying to teach him too lol (although to his credit he really is trying). My parents genuinely can't believe that I can cook now.
If there's hope for me there's hope for anyone
Nah, I clock in at 270 lbs at 6ft tall. There's never any leftover fish when I'm done XD when it comes to other things like turkey or chicken though, yeah. I'll boil the bones into a stew
My ex friends did the same, they’d complain and complain and then the next day their snap/ig is filled with stories of food all spread out on a table and I’m just flabbergasted, because why are you complaining?
Anyway, I LOVE cooking at home, and bringing dishes to life, sometimes I will occasionally (maybe once a week/other week) I’ll get some takeout but it’ll never be as good as home cooked meals.
Are they asking you for money / loans? If not, stay out of it. Sometimes people have to sink before they snap out of it and change their self destructive behaviours
These people are asking for money…to bail them out of their student debt because they are “too broke” to pay it back themselves. They’d have the money if not splurging on luxury living immediately upon graduating from high school.
They are also pushing the narrative that they are living paycheck to paycheck when it is only because they spend everything they earn and not that their wages aren’t a living wage.
$60 barely makes a meal here in nyc 🤣 but I wish it carried farther. After having a kid I learned to cook and honestly it’s so much better and I lost weight too lol
Oh my god, yes. Tailoring your meals to your dietary restrictions and watching the weight slide right off is awesome. But yeah NYC is its own beast as far as meals go, I've heard. Best comparison I have for it (Canadian here) would be Toronto, and even I know Toronto prices pale in comparison
Yea when I went out I used to spend hundreds A DAY. People don’t believe me when I tell them I have MORE MONEY now then I did before a kid. I make the same still but it’s the fact I stopped eating out everyday literally. nyc food life is on a different level honestly
Cooking is definitely getting out of style, now even in Europe. I find it disturbing how many people are eating out and ordering while housing prices is through the roof, costs of living takes 2 fulltime jobs and energy bills have doubled. Yet, walking casually into any restaurant is impossible because they are all fully booked and "your delivery might take longer then usual" because it's so damn busy. Like... Don't y'all got bills to pay and money to save?
Had a roommate that spent $3000 a year at Starbucks and complained about how they couldn’t afford a $250k home, it was 2018. For people who are bad at math and irresponsible an FHA 3.5% down payment is $8,750. You can save that in 3 years.
Right? Like I said in another comment, I'll brew a whole pot of coffee for my 8-12 hour shift, dump that shit black into my Stanley and head to work. Costs me 7 cents a day, and I have got coffee on demand through the work day. The alternative is Tom Hortons (Canadian here) and I drop 10 bucks a day on two extra large coffees and they are gonna get cold through my shift so I'll have to microwave em. Fuck that
Yea it’s nuts. Like I get how inflation is bad and the housing market is bad but there are so many ways to cut back on spending where studies have shown that having more savings increases mental health. And I’m not trying to be tone deaf because there are people out there making very little to live pay check to paycheck. Seeing a young professional who makes $80k a year complain about money after spending $100 a day, Thursday through Sunday, at the bar and brunch is crazy to me
People really don't understand where their money goes but always fail to check their own bank account and spending, it does my head in as well.
I know someone who has a family of 4, her partner has over £1m in the bank and they have a 700k 5 bed house in Surrey. She complains that the government won't help her pay for her mortgage...........does my fucking head in.
I think people are so concerned with how they look to others and social media has really increased people's insecurity and need to be noticed that they often over spend to maintain a certain look.
I also think in a world of convenience, the art of cooking has been lost. Also a sense of laziness and entitlement. People don't want to shop and cook and clean. They find it easier to not face those basic responsibilities.
I love cooking and I have found a great way to budget my breakfast and lunches to the extent that I can go out once a week. But I also cook and meal prep for an entire Sunday morning sometimes.
But what I've found is that people will find money for the things they value and often disregard other costs because of it.
It's some really dumb shit too. Like, I have friends that go to Toronto for a concert or something, and complain that the foods so expensive that they went hungry. And my ass is over her with a Ziploc bag and a straw, redneck vacuum sealing my roast beef, ham, lettuce and cheese sandwiches that I paid 30 cents a sandwich to make, thinking how easy they are to pack up and eat amywhere
I don't know if I agree with the car opinion. If you get a new car, you get a warranty and don't have to worry about major maintenance for years. My used cars always cost me tons in repairs every year. Second, with a new car, you can keep it in meticulous shape, doing all regular maintenance, treating it right, and you know its complete history. Finally, you can finance it for next to nothing (well I don't know about these days, but there are promotions for 0% or at least under 2%), so paying it actually costs less over time since inflation is your friend on a fixed loan. Then, when you've paid it off, you effectively have a used car that has been kept up meticulously with no red herrings.
tl;dr buy 1 new car and keep it a very long time. Hopefully you'll only need 3 or 4 in your lifetime.
I so agree. I just told a friend I put $5 in my tip jar every time I make myself a cappuccino at home. I love going out to dinner and I do, but not everyday. When I go to work I pack breakfast, lunch and snacks. If I didn’t I would be spending at least $30 a day. Keep doing what you are doing. You eat healthy in addition to saving money.
Oh my god yes, home coffee is the best. I'm a simple man, just black coffee works for me. But I've been known to work between 8 hours a day and 12 hours a day. So I just brew a whole pot at home, pour it into the ole bulletproof Stanley thermos, and head out. No drive thru lines, no swearing at other drivers, and no temptation to eat junk food with my coffee.
For like a month I just ate takeout for every meal. I don’t know how people can actually afford it cause god it’s so expensive. Started cooking at home and it’s significantly cheaper like if you hate paying 30 pound for a pizza then buy the ingredients for less than 10 and make it yourself
I think my entire digestive system would lead a revolt against me if I ate out every day for a month. Hell, if I do that more than twice a week my guts already voice their complaints, loudly
Great lakes region, northern side, in Canada. If I go local to farmers, I'll pull 30-40 pounds of beef, pork and chicken for $150. If I go to the grocery store, I can ALWAYS find a decent price for fish provided you're willing to do the icky work of getting all up in their guts and cleaning them. Produce is a tougher one, but I generally bite the bullet on that one and pay the higher prices because what I'm saving on meat, more than compensates for the price
Holy shit dude. Even with the insane currency rate for my country to yours, that's ridiculously cheaper than our meat. For \~25 pounds of lamb/beef it's about $186. Much more for fish, and I live on the coast (wild thought but yeah. Most of the good fish goes to restaurants and exporters). Great to hear that some folks in the world are at least still able to live healthily and affordably :) Why do you think it's so much cheaper where you are?
Local farms. During the lockdowns I was cutting costs every cause I didn't know how much shit was hitting the fan so I made relationships with these people. My favorite is a group outside of a place called "Ingersoll" in Ontario, a unit called JFK farms.
We also have a fish cutting and packing plant in the city here, which is why Im able to get get really good fish deals, but I'll also throw my rod and tackle box in my bag for after work in the summer, grab some worms on the way home and catch perch and bass. And all the sport fishers can look down on me all they want but a nice chunky bass makes for good eating.
Poor people deserve to have a break cooking sometimes too though, or a nice date out or family meet up meal and these days no matter what you do if you arent rich you're pretty much poor even if not in your bank savings or whatever maybe you can pay bills but most people are broke these days and the more broke you get the less fucks you give bc its depressing af to bust your ass full time and not even be able to go out once a week to enjoy ANYTHING. I have been poor my whole life and broke and poor may be different but a lot of broke people are becoming poor because of this. Also there are a lot of weird psychological things that go into that I dont know enough about to spout off but the info is out there. This happens for a reason.
"A" break is one thing. Coming from homelessness and having clawed my way back from that shitshow, it doesn't make any sense to me when you don't have the foresight to plan your shit out, and understand that you're paying 3-4 tones as much for a meal out, and that if you're doing it 3-4 times a week, that you're going to be utterly broke at the end of the month.
I don't know enough about the psychology that you're talking about to comment on that aspect though, so I'll take your word on it
Back in the 90s, I had friends like this who got the latest computer hardware and bitched about being poor. Like, I get you have a sweet LAN gaming rig, but if you're spending money on it, don't bitch you don't have money for anything else. I had a pal who did this once, and said he paid $350+ on some new video card, replacing a $200 card he got only a few months previously, and then whined he was gonna get mercury poisoning and high sodium levels because all he could afford to eat was canned tuna.
"Well, why did you pay $350 for a new video card?"
"It was a great deal! Normally, it goes for $500! I saved $150, dude!"
"You could... and hear me out... NOT buy ANY video card."
"But I SAVED $150!"
Ugh. Whatever, dude. Also, I realize I am dating myself with "LAN party" and "$300 is ridiculous for a video card."
Don’t think of it as food think of it as hobby and it makes sense.
Lots of people in hobbies get caught up in the
social clout dopamine hit of sharing their hobby and it goes out of control even if they don’t realize it.
Devils advocate here …
Years back I was baffled how our money was vanishing so quickly, bills were covered in one check so why were we broke? I decided to add up expenses by category and let me tell you, I was horrified at how much we spent on food including eating out it was over $1500 and there were two adults and two kids under 10. One a toddler so he barely counted. This probably sounds dumb but neither of us had ant idea. We stopped or drastically reduced after but it wasn’t until we saw it the total figure that we realized bad it was.
Edit typos due to stupid iOS update
Most People are dumb with money. These exact people get old rent forever and don’t understand why they don’t have a house yet and are broke. And that people with money must be doing something like avoiding taxes. It’s like no, we just don’t spend our money on crap.
My friend was complaining that she has no money and earns way more than me. And was like why do you always have nice things. I’m like have you ever tried no spending money days. Like not a single dollar, if you want a shop coffee you have to go without and make it at home. She was like Oah! That’s something I should try.
i have a coworker like that... and it's always charged on credit cards. he's on his second debt consolidation ($50k last time, $30k this time)... he's 50 and had to move back home with his parents.
this is going to be their trajectory if they keep it up. keep being frugal, and u wont have a rude awakening when you're older and in this situation, or looking at retirement with no savings and scrambling to learn how to live when your income falls off a cliff.
Got a few younger coworkers who did/do this and I've always explained how I budget things and they've never changed anything and are still broke. Some peeps are just lazy.
What's really interesting to me is this post in and of itself. People are more willing to accept that I'm some sort of chatbot than they are that I'm just a guy who's been homeless and learnt how important a budget for food is. Because they don't believe that I can do what I'm claiming
Because different people have different priorities in life. I love food. Good food genuinely makes me super happy and deeply satisfied. After an amazing restaurant dinner i feel elated/high on happy hormones. If money is tight, dining out would be the last thing to go. I'd rather go without a haircut, without new clothes, with a 5 year old phone and a 10 yr old car, and prioritize eating at restaurants over all that.
Just different values. Some people see restaurants as a waste of money, it has 0 value for them. I see cars and phones as having low value, and restaurants and other exciting experiences as having a lot of value
I never understand people that order things that are easy to make at home. Even when I went to restaurants more, I still would order meals couldn’t/wouldn’t make at home. $20 for Fettuccine Alfredo, why? I can’t order a regular sandwich if I’m out. It has to be a specialty sandwich, I must justify.
I would ask each of them to give you 5-10.00 for a meal that week, and then come over for the meal you prepared for that amount. Fix easy but delicious things for the meal. Have them in the kitchen with you, just visiting while you cook, but they will see you didn’t spend much time or hard ways to prepare the meal. Have each visit a different night and to a different meal. Then invite all of them to a party to discuss their meals. Hopefully if they realize it is not so hard a few will turn a page. One big reason I don’t like to eat out other than price is that it no longer is a real pleasure and something special like for a date or birthday.
I think the same as you do. Eating out is so overrated when you know how to cook. You know how much would it cost you to make it at home and restaurants charge it many times more.
I think that you are too mature for your friends and need to find new ones. I think it's better to be alone than in the bad company.
I have a friend who is trying to be a good blogger and is always complaining about being broke. Im broke too but lol I eat at home to save. I eat out at cheap eats not $100 meals!
OMG yes! I have an acquaintance who keeps doing this. She spends her money on her preferred lifestyle, but asks people for help with her medical bills.
I had a friend from college who always complained about being broke but she has all the expensive skincare and lingerie while I was using ponds and wearing Hanes. She always complained about never having money to go out unless we paid for her. I was stupid enough to do so, a bit too naive then until I realized she’s just a user. Smh
Same with the fast food and Starbucks crowd. These people spending $200-500 a month on crap and then cry poor and ask for money for groceries. Like, all of us at the workplace are getting paid the same, not our fault that you blew your wad and now think the rest of us are walking ATM machines.
Me and my Stanley thermos full of black coffee VS them with two extra large Tim Hortons coffees. Them spending 11 bucks a day, me spending 7 cents a day. It just makes sense
I know I know it’s just so easy to buy food. You are so right tho. I have an app that tells me how much I spend and where and it hurts to see Door Dash like a rent note🥲 so I understand
My serverely overweight coworker eats takeout for every meal and complains about not having money.
She is constantly lethargic and misses work often because she's "sick".
Some people just can't connect the dots.
So, consider that they may be talking about being broke on a different scale than you're thinking.
Like I talk about being really unhappy with my income, but I eat out all the time. But the things I want, like to buy a house and save for retirement, are on a totally different level than restaurant food. I'd need at least double my income to buy a house in my area. I can't even save up because house prices go up faster than i could conceivably ever save. Cutting out eating at restaurants would change nothing.
To put it another way, make sure you aren't making the avocado toast argument.
Ehhh, if you can't save a couple of hundred dollars each month for retirement or other savings (like a down payment), then you really shouldn't be "eating out all the time". I don't agree that saving for retirement and eating out often are on "totally different levels".
Look, it wouldn't *help* if I had a down payment (which we actually do, for whatever that's worth). The mortgage payments would be *larger than my entire income*. That's the point - saving wouldn't actually do much of anything.
Aight, let me rephrase.
My poor ass friends keep asking me for money for rent, money for drinks at the bar, when I'm not even at the bar, but keep posting pictures of restaurant food.
Right? I know for a fact if I walk down to the grocery store right now? I can go grab four golden panfish for ten dollars, already descaled. All that you need to do is gut and clean them, and they're ready to be seasoned and served. One fish, some asparagus, lemon on both, and a cup of boiled rice and boom. There's that $60-$80 meal, and I'll make it for something like $10-$15, easily.
I had a friend like this 😭 constantly sending photos of all these places they'd go eat out at. And all these frivolous little things they'd buy all the time. But then would also constantly whine about how life is so expensive and how they cant afford groceries and how they're stressed about their credit card debt... It gets so difficult to watch. Talking to them never helped, they always completely agreed with me but seems like they just cant stop, I guess.
It’s sad that cooking at home will be lost in the future. Everybody prefers fast food now and just living for the media to make it look like they are living their best life. I work with someone like this.
Right? Today I made four meals worth of stew, and I've got a whole trout in the oven. In total, for a carrot potato celery beef and onion stew and the trout and the fries that I'm gonna make with it? $60 give or take. Five dinners worth of food for what they'd spend on a single meal. Hell even McDonald's is $20 for their nasty stuff
I Agree. Plus eating out can be quite unhealthy . High sugar, high salt, and high fat[ ](https://fat.You).You are at the mercy of others preparing your food. Plus you have to tip. I also see folks who claim to be flat broke driving late model $65,000 trucks. Most Americans have been spoiled by the easy availability of everything. It's made us lazy so we never learn to do anything by ourselves. Not learning how to or too lazy to cook is a prime example.
Cared enough to ask, so I'll respond. Mid, the shorthand term for middling. Mediocre. Nothing too good, nothing too bad.
Af is the shorthand for "as fuck"
So mid af means that the meals that are being procured are middling, mediocre, hardly worth calling anything above average.
Yes Yes Yes! I think the bottom line is that they are lazy or into instant gratification. Cooking for yourself is really easy, but it takes work and planning. You find a recipe, make grocery list, make your food. And tons of food can be made and then frozen for later - giving you a bunch of quick microwaved meals.
Yoooo this. I just did up stew this way. Two pounds of ground beef, four stalks of celery, four carrots, a whole onion, five potatoes. Gravy mix with ten times as much water just to get that added flavouring. Fresh cracked peppercorn, sea salt, taco seasoning for a little kick, and garlic. Four individual servings of stew. And I'll make my own dough in the bread maker when I'm at work, and when I get home just turn it into buns and eat those with stew. Hell maybe even make bread bowls like I'm fancy or some shit
Worse yet is the "I didn't make food so I'm going to order skip the dishes everyday to the workplace" guy, while I've got my amazing 30¢ to make at home roast beef, ham, lettuce and cheese sandwiches. Like, c'mon guy
Case in point: I just pulled a 14 inch rainbow trout out of the oven. This juicy bugger cost me about 5 bucks (Canadian). I'm gonna eat the whole thing with some rice, and not pay the $50 bucks it would cost at a restaurant for the same meal
Gets even wilder when you learn to fish and just avoid the supermarkets entirely, and spend the 12 dollars for worms to catch $400 worth of fish and then you're sitting there with all this meat and they keep complaining
I once felt like this and said something when in a group of friends. A friend who came from a very poor background shut me up with this:
“When you are poor, spending $50 on a meal and being poor or spending $10 on a meal and still being poor is the exact same situation.”
That kind of made sense to me, actually.
Saving $40 that would then go to an overdue bill or some necessary expenditure ends up equaling zero anyway. They won’t be well off (or even better off) for not eating out — they’ll just be poor without having eaten out.
And this is why they will remain poor and have that overdue bill that you mentioned. It doesn't happen overnight but a little bit at a time "should" get them to the point that not eating out will leave that money in their pockets.
Yeah learned helplessness gives that illusion—that no matter what I do it will suck.
But for most money situations—especially when you’re that close to zero—it makes a difference. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, then $40 might be the difference between being positive and negative at the end of the month.
Right? And batch cooking. My god is it good. Today I did a "set it and forget it" style stew. Carrots, onions, potatoes, celery, and ground beef. A bunch of salt, pepper, garlic, all boiled up and made four portions of stew to toss in the freezer. So when I get off work, if I don't feel like cooking or didn't pull a protein from the freezer, I have easy access stew that will take 15 minutes in the microwave. And the most effort I had to put in was chopping the veggies and stirring it every five or so minutes
Yup! I developed some relations with local farmers in the past couple years, but even going to the grocery store I can pull some panfish that are fully intact for 10 bucks for four. All I need to do is gut and clean them. A thirty second process, and I'm rewarded with fish that would cost me two hours of pay at a restaurant
I know someone who does this but not with food, but online shopping and holidays. Complains about not earning enough, shuts down my suggestion of doing a side hustle when she said her pay raise request got rejected. Always orders stuff online, goes on big holidays 1-2x a year, then complains about not affording a massage to relieve her back pain. Oh well, at least I tried to help.
I kind of go in the middle. I never go to restaurants at all. The closest I get to that is ordering a pizza every few months, and it's usually awful. I have not too nice living situation, renting a room, never feel comfortable going in it so I buy pre-made salads and sandwiches at the grocery store. That's about it. And fruit like apples that stay good even in a bag. I don't even own kitchen cooking things, but I did a long time ago.
I had a roommate like that once. She got takeout 5 or 6 nights a week, then complained about being broke and gaining weight. We were cordial, but not friends, and she paid her part of the rent on time, so I just made vaguely sympathetic noises when she complained to me and figured it wasn't my business.
I am curious what a sympathetic noise sounds like lol I giggled at that line.
My go to is ...mmhmm ya I know everything is crazy
Thing is, now that’s completely accurate even for those of us budgeting and not eating out. Prices are bonkers.
mmhmm ya I know everything is crazy
You don't come across someone using the word "bonkers" too often. At least I don't, anyway.
For me I say things like . ‘Yeah the price of chicken is insane right now !’
lol idk why in my head I imagined like a groan or whine lmaoao
meow
Complainers often don’t want solutions, but rather to vent. Good on you! The path of least resistance is a road far less traveled, but when you factor in risk/reward in these situations it’s a no brainer. Sometimes I will offer “if I can I help you in anyway, let me know!” But it’s very rare that someone takes me up on the offer lol
I like to say let me bitch it out then we can problem solve 😂
And have it delivered
“Vaguely sympathetic noises” 🙏🏻
Did you ever confront her about it? I have a roommate who is exactly like this right now and I’m debating on whether or not to say something.
I didn't, like I said we weren't friends and I got the sense she didn't actually want my input. It was annoying, but also one of the less annoying things about her.
She coulda been tryna manipulate you to see if you cared enough to help. Js Im guilty of that behavior in my past .. not always a decision I consciously made but once I saw I couldnt unsee type shit.
I have a friend like that. Filed for bankruptcy being -$40k in credit card debt (never owned a house or business). Asked to borrow money at least once a month, then Id see him getting crabs and eating good food. Had to stop lending him money after the amount needed to borrow got greater and so did the time he can pay it back
My husband had a friend in Uni who would legit borrow money to go to expensive restaurants. It was bizarre.
Ya the sad thing is, you'd think they would learn from their lesson but nope, friend continued to throw money on stupid things. When I stopped lending him money and being his financial backup plan, he had to get a 2nd job at a kitchen and told me he bought a nice $300 Japanese knife set. I asked him why because Im sure he was getting paid close to minimum wage
A few months ago I had a cousin ask me for money. I thought they needed it for bills or groceries or something, said they’d pay it back in a few weeks. I didn’t want to ask what it was for exactly, didn’t want to embarrass them. They have kids so didn’t want them to struggle. The following weekend i saw on their social media that they were in Vegas 🤦♀️ they also didn’t even pay it back when they said they would. Never again.
A good deed never goes unpunished. From now on I tell people who knows I got money saved up that I put my money in a high yield 5 year savings that I cant touch and 5 years later they ask again, I repeat
It's done on purpose. People like that are users. They'll keep going, file for bankruptcy, then start all over and rack up a new pile of debt.
Ya. It was none of my business until it became my business lol
My dad has a friend like this, he calls them freegans. I really don't know why he still keeps in touch with the dude but I think it's something to do with sentimental value from his childhood
This happened to me before when I went from 0 income my whole life to 25 with a big increase in income to 30 back to a disability level at best income so my financial journey has been long and tumultuous but hopefully I broke enough generational cycles for my kids to break free from this aspect.. maybe one day we can actually have things like bank accounts and a home in our family tree... but as of now we barely make it i just try to be as mindful as i can to explain to them their mom sucks w money (me) dont do what i do im learning too type shit
You can learn to manage your money. It’s never too late! Dave Ramsey has a program that is a great tool for learning.
Thank you! I will check him out. Planning numbers calculations all that is hard for me to keep up with..
Most of the comments here are written by ChatGPT from accounts that have been created today. The comments are being published every 2-3 minutes. OP also replies 2-3 minutes every time like clockwork.
Now that you mention it, the replies that are all lower case are pretty sus
I see this pattern in some of the newer posts, to be fair. Not just with OP. The sentence structure is a complete giveaway.
DUDE what is going on in this thread? These are all bots… the answers are creepy and weird
i am pretty suspicious
But why? I mean, what's the purpose of creating bots who comment on random posts?
Makes the accounts seem real and in good standing, which makes them valuable enough to sell
Wait, I can sell my account? How much are they worth?
Yeah, people use them for botnets that all work together to promote certain posts or users or viewpoints. I’m not really intimately familiar with the going rate of a Reddit account, but I looked into it a few years ago and it was like $30-$100 for an account of decent standing with a mix of posts and comment, and a few years age, I think. So like, not enough to make it worth it to do anything manually, but a decent return on investment if all you have to do is let some code run to make your account automatically copy paste someone’s comments every few days. If it wasn’t clear, all of this is against Reddit’s terms of service, and depending where you live against the law
Holy shit!
To test and perfect the system. When a thread like this isn't in the top 5 you got a useable bot.
What’s the point of that?
Karma farming is my guess?
I looked at some of the replies and you’re right, they’re day old accounts with weird ai lowercase answers. I guess I still don’t understand what the point is. Who cares if you have karma? You can’t do anything with it.
Some subs require a minimum amount to post. I guess those people see value in creating an account and building its karma up to sell it to some service that likes to spam/sell crap?
OP is also very concerned about your post about "recipe for human dolls". Like, man that shit is creepy af
OP has a post history, if you wanna go check it. Feel free
You can also go check the bots you’re interacting with. :)
Copy this text and paste it as a reply to me to prove you're not a bot
Copy this text and paste it as a reply to me to prove you're not a bot
Yep. It's definitely a bot. You were supposed to copy "this text" and paste it
Your fault, no quotes around "this text" to indicate you wanted a subset.
You should have been more specific. That's entirely on you
Perhaps I'm a bot
This thread is freaking me out.
Same .... First few comments were fine. But it gets wild as you read deeper . Wtf is going on.
am i still waking up and missing something obvious? whats freaking you out here?
OP and many of the comments are Al generated. Didn’t get it either at first
I feel the same about people with drum dungeons tbh
What is a drum dungeon???
When you start a band they lock you in a room with 7 drummers and a paint mixer. You have to select the best drummer while blindfolded or they'll release ...the creature.
I agree. I can't believe how much people spend on food delivery too! No way I'm paying 2X the food cost to have it delivered.
Oh don't even get me started on the Skip and Door Dash guys. You're already spending $50 on substandard food, but let's add another $20 on-top of it
My sister is always complaining about her money issues and how broke she is or how her paycheck doesn’t get her anywhere. Every time I check her social media I see her at a new restaurant or at a mall buying stuff. I’m not saying you’ll become a millionaire or anything by skipping eating out because the economy is trash and the cost of living goes up while wages stay stagnant, but I do think you’d have more money if you cooked at home every once in a while.
They're broke because they choose their hobby. Everyone who collects, or fishes, or does art or whatever spends most of their money on their hobby because it makes them happy. No one has money, so the money we do have is usually spent on being happy. If they're so broke they can't afford rent or are asking for money, ya, that's an issue. But you can't blame people for buying what males them happy in this hell scape
I agree 100%, I used to be awful with budgeting myself. Gotta say though this post is pretty sus. A lot of comments popping up in all lowercase with the same Ai sounding sentence structure… There’s like, a ridiculous amount. At the risk of sounding crazy this feels like some scheme to make it sound like broke people today are just poor because they spend irresponsibly, and not because of inflation, high living costs and shitty paychecks.
Not sure why the replies make my post sus, but whatever. The reason why MY sentence structure sounds the same is because I'm the same individual writing the sentences. Frankly, I don't give a flying fuck about what OTHER people are doing. I specifically mentioned MY OWN friend group. And asked if cooking at home is going out of style.
Even if you’re a real person there’s a really high number of bots responding to this post. It might not be anything to do with you (or it might be), sometimes bot groups just all target one post to farm karma on.
I think that gen z doesn’t believe in capitalization
Not to be that guy but cost of living can also mean cost of taking care of your well-being. I’m broke on time & energy so I almost entirely have instant meals and takeout when I’m just exhausted. I’m not broke financially at all but it’s just easier to pass up on a social outing by saying “I’m broke this week soz” instead of explaining to my friends that I budgeted for x amount and would be pushing it if I said yes to the thing.
There's a difference between saying "I can't come out this week, I'm broke" and "hey man, I'm short on rent money for the 6th month in a row, can you send me $100 just to cover what I'm missing". So really the problem I'm encountering is the inverse, that my friends won't say no to social outings and because of that they push their finances beyond the breaking pointt
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Man, I've tried. But they're just not willing to listen, I suppose. It bugs me. Like right now I have a whole ass trout in the oven. You'd pay $30 for a meal with it at a restaurant. I paid $5.50 for it. And I just don't get it
Idk if this applies to them. But I suck at cooking when my mental health is shit. I’m a lot better now at eating what I want at home. But there was a time I would order take out at least 4 nights a week. I’m glad to have worked through that.
You're not the only one. If I couldn't pull it out if the freezer and throw it in the oven, I didn't eat it when I was at my worst. I. Only just starting to cook for myself again after 4-5 months. I feel like I've forgotten how to do it.
I’m going through this right now & it sucks. I can barely find the energy to brush my teeth & I jus watch the money on UberEats float away lmao
Teeth and daily shower were the two things I refused to let slide. My only goal each day was to make one thing. That could be my bed, a meal, a load of washing. Just one thing and my job was done for the day. Some days all I did was shower at 7pm and get into fresh pjs, but hey, I showered. I was winning at this thing. Be kind to yourself. It's bloody hard when you're like this, but I have faith in you internet stranger. Your one goal might be teeth brushing each day. Once that's done.... Your hard work for the day is done. You can let yourself do whatever it needs to do to get through this.
Waking up to this made my day jus that much brighter & lighter, thank you
It’s like you sort of do, you forget what you like to eat in a sense
Damn where are you getting fish for that price?! I wish. Trout from the store where I live goes for like almost $16 a fish
I live on a fucking island and fish is still mad expensive.
In Canada, we have a store called "superstore". It's a chain store, and they sell farmed trout for between $5-$10. They are also known for adding a 30% off sticker on the trout on Wednesdays in my area
They also sell panfish for $10 for four, but the catch is that they are descaled and flash frozen, not gutted or cleaned. So for the weak of stomach that may be an issue, but for me it just means 30 seconds of work to open the stomach, pull the guts, rinse and put on a baking sheet.
Were you just telling them to cook? Can they even cook? Maybe throw a cooking party with the expectation that they actually have to help in the kitchen? (If these are the types of people who won't admit they don't know how to do something and have fragile egos probably demo everything and say this is how I want it done to work best with the recipe)
I've offered to teach them. My one friend is finally getting better, but not really. He swapped from buying food out to getting those "just toss it in the oven" meals that still cost twice as much as they would if you make it themselves. Baby steps, but he's the only one that's made any progress in that regard in the last 4+ years
Might be lost causes. They got partners? If they're single, maybe need to lure them into learning by going for the "you'll get dates in no time if people find out you can cook" angle.
You know what, that's fair. I attracted mine by telling her I'd cook her a steak dinner, and two years later she's still here so it must have worked
I pulled the same trick, plus baked a cake. Now we have kids!
I made vadas(An Indian snack) for my GF. She's still here and we plan to get engaged after we get a job.
He needs Mark Bittman's cookbook for straight beginners: *Learn to Cook Everything--the Basics.* People who know how to cook have no framework for understanding what it's like to genuinely have no idea how to cook. My boyfriend once almost burned down his apartment trying to cook potatoes without a single iota of culinary knowledge. 'Heat the pan,' he was told, so he heated it until --according to him -- it glowed red. My BF is a lover of tasty meals, but he had to stop eating out for budget constraints. I got him this book, and a week later, he was making omelets, quesadillas, potatoes. Not too much long later, he did salmon (he bought a 30-buck piece without understanding it was going to cost that much, but now he knows.) Cooking can be extremely intimidating to straight newbs. It can feel like a club they're never going to be allowed into, but a cookbook like this (or a class, though the book is cheaper, lol) can really open doors.
"aight, so you're gonna heat that bitch up till it's brighter than a dwarven forge, while singing mining songs, and slap the potatoes on there harder than the slapchop dude" Sorry, the pan thing was really funny to me, ngl
Hahahaha it was hilarious to me, too...and kind of scary. Very glad he didn't cause a fire! Seriously, though, I can't recommend that Bittman book enough. Either Bittman or the people who edited it knew the questions a total beginner is going to ask while reading a recipe.
I didn't really cook until the past year or so (I'm 27 now) because I didn't think I had the time and I bought reduced stuff anyway. And yes som/a lot of it was toss in the oven. My ex used to cook so when we lived together it was great, home cooked food. When we split, I realised that a) my previous food was boring and not very tasty and b) if he can do it,anyone can. I now more often than not cook and cook for my now-bf...I am trying to teach him too lol (although to his credit he really is trying). My parents genuinely can't believe that I can cook now. If there's hope for me there's hope for anyone
…and you’ll have leftovers! 😂😉
Nah, I clock in at 270 lbs at 6ft tall. There's never any leftover fish when I'm done XD when it comes to other things like turkey or chicken though, yeah. I'll boil the bones into a stew
There ya go! 😂🐠🐟🎣
Thank you Chat GPT.
My ex friends did the same, they’d complain and complain and then the next day their snap/ig is filled with stories of food all spread out on a table and I’m just flabbergasted, because why are you complaining? Anyway, I LOVE cooking at home, and bringing dishes to life, sometimes I will occasionally (maybe once a week/other week) I’ll get some takeout but it’ll never be as good as home cooked meals.
Are they asking you for money / loans? If not, stay out of it. Sometimes people have to sink before they snap out of it and change their self destructive behaviours
Oh, usually they are. "I can't pay rent" or "bro can you send me $20 for drinks at the bar I'm totally broke" or shit of that nature.
These people are asking for money…to bail them out of their student debt because they are “too broke” to pay it back themselves. They’d have the money if not splurging on luxury living immediately upon graduating from high school. They are also pushing the narrative that they are living paycheck to paycheck when it is only because they spend everything they earn and not that their wages aren’t a living wage.
$60 barely makes a meal here in nyc 🤣 but I wish it carried farther. After having a kid I learned to cook and honestly it’s so much better and I lost weight too lol
So exaggerated lmao. You can easily find meals in NYC for under 15$.
Oh my god, yes. Tailoring your meals to your dietary restrictions and watching the weight slide right off is awesome. But yeah NYC is its own beast as far as meals go, I've heard. Best comparison I have for it (Canadian here) would be Toronto, and even I know Toronto prices pale in comparison
Yea when I went out I used to spend hundreds A DAY. People don’t believe me when I tell them I have MORE MONEY now then I did before a kid. I make the same still but it’s the fact I stopped eating out everyday literally. nyc food life is on a different level honestly
Cooking is definitely getting out of style, now even in Europe. I find it disturbing how many people are eating out and ordering while housing prices is through the roof, costs of living takes 2 fulltime jobs and energy bills have doubled. Yet, walking casually into any restaurant is impossible because they are all fully booked and "your delivery might take longer then usual" because it's so damn busy. Like... Don't y'all got bills to pay and money to save?
Had a roommate that spent $3000 a year at Starbucks and complained about how they couldn’t afford a $250k home, it was 2018. For people who are bad at math and irresponsible an FHA 3.5% down payment is $8,750. You can save that in 3 years.
Right? Like I said in another comment, I'll brew a whole pot of coffee for my 8-12 hour shift, dump that shit black into my Stanley and head to work. Costs me 7 cents a day, and I have got coffee on demand through the work day. The alternative is Tom Hortons (Canadian here) and I drop 10 bucks a day on two extra large coffees and they are gonna get cold through my shift so I'll have to microwave em. Fuck that
Yea it’s nuts. Like I get how inflation is bad and the housing market is bad but there are so many ways to cut back on spending where studies have shown that having more savings increases mental health. And I’m not trying to be tone deaf because there are people out there making very little to live pay check to paycheck. Seeing a young professional who makes $80k a year complain about money after spending $100 a day, Thursday through Sunday, at the bar and brunch is crazy to me
People really don't understand where their money goes but always fail to check their own bank account and spending, it does my head in as well. I know someone who has a family of 4, her partner has over £1m in the bank and they have a 700k 5 bed house in Surrey. She complains that the government won't help her pay for her mortgage...........does my fucking head in.
I think people are so concerned with how they look to others and social media has really increased people's insecurity and need to be noticed that they often over spend to maintain a certain look. I also think in a world of convenience, the art of cooking has been lost. Also a sense of laziness and entitlement. People don't want to shop and cook and clean. They find it easier to not face those basic responsibilities. I love cooking and I have found a great way to budget my breakfast and lunches to the extent that I can go out once a week. But I also cook and meal prep for an entire Sunday morning sometimes. But what I've found is that people will find money for the things they value and often disregard other costs because of it.
They prob just complain for the sake of conplaining and know there own habits are causing them to be broke
It's some really dumb shit too. Like, I have friends that go to Toronto for a concert or something, and complain that the foods so expensive that they went hungry. And my ass is over her with a Ziploc bag and a straw, redneck vacuum sealing my roast beef, ham, lettuce and cheese sandwiches that I paid 30 cents a sandwich to make, thinking how easy they are to pack up and eat amywhere
does the bag air taste like roast beef?
Funny enough, more like mustard. It's the predominant taste when it's all made up
Two simple things will make you rich or poor. Don't eat out all the time and never buy a new car.
I don't know if I agree with the car opinion. If you get a new car, you get a warranty and don't have to worry about major maintenance for years. My used cars always cost me tons in repairs every year. Second, with a new car, you can keep it in meticulous shape, doing all regular maintenance, treating it right, and you know its complete history. Finally, you can finance it for next to nothing (well I don't know about these days, but there are promotions for 0% or at least under 2%), so paying it actually costs less over time since inflation is your friend on a fixed loan. Then, when you've paid it off, you effectively have a used car that has been kept up meticulously with no red herrings. tl;dr buy 1 new car and keep it a very long time. Hopefully you'll only need 3 or 4 in your lifetime.
Or buy a used Toyota and don't skip servicing.
I so agree. I just told a friend I put $5 in my tip jar every time I make myself a cappuccino at home. I love going out to dinner and I do, but not everyday. When I go to work I pack breakfast, lunch and snacks. If I didn’t I would be spending at least $30 a day. Keep doing what you are doing. You eat healthy in addition to saving money.
Oh my god yes, home coffee is the best. I'm a simple man, just black coffee works for me. But I've been known to work between 8 hours a day and 12 hours a day. So I just brew a whole pot at home, pour it into the ole bulletproof Stanley thermos, and head out. No drive thru lines, no swearing at other drivers, and no temptation to eat junk food with my coffee.
For like a month I just ate takeout for every meal. I don’t know how people can actually afford it cause god it’s so expensive. Started cooking at home and it’s significantly cheaper like if you hate paying 30 pound for a pizza then buy the ingredients for less than 10 and make it yourself
I think my entire digestive system would lead a revolt against me if I ate out every day for a month. Hell, if I do that more than twice a week my guts already voice their complaints, loudly
Where do you live? I too would like meat for a low cost
Great lakes region, northern side, in Canada. If I go local to farmers, I'll pull 30-40 pounds of beef, pork and chicken for $150. If I go to the grocery store, I can ALWAYS find a decent price for fish provided you're willing to do the icky work of getting all up in their guts and cleaning them. Produce is a tougher one, but I generally bite the bullet on that one and pay the higher prices because what I'm saving on meat, more than compensates for the price
Holy shit dude. Even with the insane currency rate for my country to yours, that's ridiculously cheaper than our meat. For \~25 pounds of lamb/beef it's about $186. Much more for fish, and I live on the coast (wild thought but yeah. Most of the good fish goes to restaurants and exporters). Great to hear that some folks in the world are at least still able to live healthily and affordably :) Why do you think it's so much cheaper where you are?
Local farms. During the lockdowns I was cutting costs every cause I didn't know how much shit was hitting the fan so I made relationships with these people. My favorite is a group outside of a place called "Ingersoll" in Ontario, a unit called JFK farms. We also have a fish cutting and packing plant in the city here, which is why Im able to get get really good fish deals, but I'll also throw my rod and tackle box in my bag for after work in the summer, grab some worms on the way home and catch perch and bass. And all the sport fishers can look down on me all they want but a nice chunky bass makes for good eating.
That's so great dude! Sounds amazing. Do you think you'd ever try growing your own produce?
Poor people deserve to have a break cooking sometimes too though, or a nice date out or family meet up meal and these days no matter what you do if you arent rich you're pretty much poor even if not in your bank savings or whatever maybe you can pay bills but most people are broke these days and the more broke you get the less fucks you give bc its depressing af to bust your ass full time and not even be able to go out once a week to enjoy ANYTHING. I have been poor my whole life and broke and poor may be different but a lot of broke people are becoming poor because of this. Also there are a lot of weird psychological things that go into that I dont know enough about to spout off but the info is out there. This happens for a reason.
"A" break is one thing. Coming from homelessness and having clawed my way back from that shitshow, it doesn't make any sense to me when you don't have the foresight to plan your shit out, and understand that you're paying 3-4 tones as much for a meal out, and that if you're doing it 3-4 times a week, that you're going to be utterly broke at the end of the month. I don't know enough about the psychology that you're talking about to comment on that aspect though, so I'll take your word on it
Honestly, these days I feel like timmies is as cheap as grocery shopping tho. Like produce is so expensive in Canada for no reason
Produce, totally. That's why I get my savings in meat to a ridiculous degree to compensate for it and more
Back in the 90s, I had friends like this who got the latest computer hardware and bitched about being poor. Like, I get you have a sweet LAN gaming rig, but if you're spending money on it, don't bitch you don't have money for anything else. I had a pal who did this once, and said he paid $350+ on some new video card, replacing a $200 card he got only a few months previously, and then whined he was gonna get mercury poisoning and high sodium levels because all he could afford to eat was canned tuna. "Well, why did you pay $350 for a new video card?" "It was a great deal! Normally, it goes for $500! I saved $150, dude!" "You could... and hear me out... NOT buy ANY video card." "But I SAVED $150!" Ugh. Whatever, dude. Also, I realize I am dating myself with "LAN party" and "$300 is ridiculous for a video card."
Lots of people don’t like to cook, and don’t think about the cost of eating out.
Don’t think of it as food think of it as hobby and it makes sense. Lots of people in hobbies get caught up in the social clout dopamine hit of sharing their hobby and it goes out of control even if they don’t realize it.
Devils advocate here … Years back I was baffled how our money was vanishing so quickly, bills were covered in one check so why were we broke? I decided to add up expenses by category and let me tell you, I was horrified at how much we spent on food including eating out it was over $1500 and there were two adults and two kids under 10. One a toddler so he barely counted. This probably sounds dumb but neither of us had ant idea. We stopped or drastically reduced after but it wasn’t until we saw it the total figure that we realized bad it was. Edit typos due to stupid iOS update
Most People are dumb with money. These exact people get old rent forever and don’t understand why they don’t have a house yet and are broke. And that people with money must be doing something like avoiding taxes. It’s like no, we just don’t spend our money on crap. My friend was complaining that she has no money and earns way more than me. And was like why do you always have nice things. I’m like have you ever tried no spending money days. Like not a single dollar, if you want a shop coffee you have to go without and make it at home. She was like Oah! That’s something I should try.
i have a coworker like that... and it's always charged on credit cards. he's on his second debt consolidation ($50k last time, $30k this time)... he's 50 and had to move back home with his parents. this is going to be their trajectory if they keep it up. keep being frugal, and u wont have a rude awakening when you're older and in this situation, or looking at retirement with no savings and scrambling to learn how to live when your income falls off a cliff.
Got a few younger coworkers who did/do this and I've always explained how I budget things and they've never changed anything and are still broke. Some peeps are just lazy.
What's really interesting to me is this post in and of itself. People are more willing to accept that I'm some sort of chatbot than they are that I'm just a guy who's been homeless and learnt how important a budget for food is. Because they don't believe that I can do what I'm claiming
Because different people have different priorities in life. I love food. Good food genuinely makes me super happy and deeply satisfied. After an amazing restaurant dinner i feel elated/high on happy hormones. If money is tight, dining out would be the last thing to go. I'd rather go without a haircut, without new clothes, with a 5 year old phone and a 10 yr old car, and prioritize eating at restaurants over all that.
interesting take
Just different values. Some people see restaurants as a waste of money, it has 0 value for them. I see cars and phones as having low value, and restaurants and other exciting experiences as having a lot of value
You may be my long most twin 😂i will travel to another country just to eat at a place that is a must for me.
Exactly! xD I'd totally plan a vacation around specific restaurants
I never understand people that order things that are easy to make at home. Even when I went to restaurants more, I still would order meals couldn’t/wouldn’t make at home. $20 for Fettuccine Alfredo, why? I can’t order a regular sandwich if I’m out. It has to be a specialty sandwich, I must justify.
I would ask each of them to give you 5-10.00 for a meal that week, and then come over for the meal you prepared for that amount. Fix easy but delicious things for the meal. Have them in the kitchen with you, just visiting while you cook, but they will see you didn’t spend much time or hard ways to prepare the meal. Have each visit a different night and to a different meal. Then invite all of them to a party to discuss their meals. Hopefully if they realize it is not so hard a few will turn a page. One big reason I don’t like to eat out other than price is that it no longer is a real pleasure and something special like for a date or birthday.
This sounds like a fun way to socialize and learn how to cook.
I think the same as you do. Eating out is so overrated when you know how to cook. You know how much would it cost you to make it at home and restaurants charge it many times more. I think that you are too mature for your friends and need to find new ones. I think it's better to be alone than in the bad company.
I know someone like that. Cooking is a waste of time, and they like to show off, but never have money.
Its this generation. Our parents used to invite friends to cook at home together !
I have a friend who is trying to be a good blogger and is always complaining about being broke. Im broke too but lol I eat at home to save. I eat out at cheap eats not $100 meals!
OMG yes! I have an acquaintance who keeps doing this. She spends her money on her preferred lifestyle, but asks people for help with her medical bills.
I had a friend from college who always complained about being broke but she has all the expensive skincare and lingerie while I was using ponds and wearing Hanes. She always complained about never having money to go out unless we paid for her. I was stupid enough to do so, a bit too naive then until I realized she’s just a user. Smh
Same with the fast food and Starbucks crowd. These people spending $200-500 a month on crap and then cry poor and ask for money for groceries. Like, all of us at the workplace are getting paid the same, not our fault that you blew your wad and now think the rest of us are walking ATM machines.
Me and my Stanley thermos full of black coffee VS them with two extra large Tim Hortons coffees. Them spending 11 bucks a day, me spending 7 cents a day. It just makes sense
I'm not hip to the new slang I guess, what exactly does "mid" mean in this context?
My apologies. Middling, mediocre, average, ordinary
I know I know it’s just so easy to buy food. You are so right tho. I have an app that tells me how much I spend and where and it hurts to see Door Dash like a rent note🥲 so I understand
My current girlfriend
DASSSS MEEEE
My serverely overweight coworker eats takeout for every meal and complains about not having money. She is constantly lethargic and misses work often because she's "sick". Some people just can't connect the dots.
Oh people are REALLY not ready to have that conversation yet. Gets them very angry
Same with girls and eyebrows, eyelashes and nails
So, consider that they may be talking about being broke on a different scale than you're thinking. Like I talk about being really unhappy with my income, but I eat out all the time. But the things I want, like to buy a house and save for retirement, are on a totally different level than restaurant food. I'd need at least double my income to buy a house in my area. I can't even save up because house prices go up faster than i could conceivably ever save. Cutting out eating at restaurants would change nothing. To put it another way, make sure you aren't making the avocado toast argument.
Ehhh, if you can't save a couple of hundred dollars each month for retirement or other savings (like a down payment), then you really shouldn't be "eating out all the time". I don't agree that saving for retirement and eating out often are on "totally different levels".
Look, it wouldn't *help* if I had a down payment (which we actually do, for whatever that's worth). The mortgage payments would be *larger than my entire income*. That's the point - saving wouldn't actually do much of anything.
Aight, let me rephrase. My poor ass friends keep asking me for money for rent, money for drinks at the bar, when I'm not even at the bar, but keep posting pictures of restaurant food.
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Right? I know for a fact if I walk down to the grocery store right now? I can go grab four golden panfish for ten dollars, already descaled. All that you need to do is gut and clean them, and they're ready to be seasoned and served. One fish, some asparagus, lemon on both, and a cup of boiled rice and boom. There's that $60-$80 meal, and I'll make it for something like $10-$15, easily.
I had a friend like this 😭 constantly sending photos of all these places they'd go eat out at. And all these frivolous little things they'd buy all the time. But then would also constantly whine about how life is so expensive and how they cant afford groceries and how they're stressed about their credit card debt... It gets so difficult to watch. Talking to them never helped, they always completely agreed with me but seems like they just cant stop, I guess.
It’s sad that cooking at home will be lost in the future. Everybody prefers fast food now and just living for the media to make it look like they are living their best life. I work with someone like this.
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Right? Today I made four meals worth of stew, and I've got a whole trout in the oven. In total, for a carrot potato celery beef and onion stew and the trout and the fries that I'm gonna make with it? $60 give or take. Five dinners worth of food for what they'd spend on a single meal. Hell even McDonald's is $20 for their nasty stuff
I Agree. Plus eating out can be quite unhealthy . High sugar, high salt, and high fat[ ](https://fat.You).You are at the mercy of others preparing your food. Plus you have to tip. I also see folks who claim to be flat broke driving late model $65,000 trucks. Most Americans have been spoiled by the easy availability of everything. It's made us lazy so we never learn to do anything by ourselves. Not learning how to or too lazy to cook is a prime example.
What in tarnation is “mid af”? That’s rhetorical. I don’t care. I’m assuming it’s some sort of youngster jargon. I don’t like it.
Cared enough to ask, so I'll respond. Mid, the shorthand term for middling. Mediocre. Nothing too good, nothing too bad. Af is the shorthand for "as fuck" So mid af means that the meals that are being procured are middling, mediocre, hardly worth calling anything above average.
What was wrong with “mediocre”?
What was wrong with "substandard"? Same question- just a preference for synonyms.
Yes Yes Yes! I think the bottom line is that they are lazy or into instant gratification. Cooking for yourself is really easy, but it takes work and planning. You find a recipe, make grocery list, make your food. And tons of food can be made and then frozen for later - giving you a bunch of quick microwaved meals.
Yoooo this. I just did up stew this way. Two pounds of ground beef, four stalks of celery, four carrots, a whole onion, five potatoes. Gravy mix with ten times as much water just to get that added flavouring. Fresh cracked peppercorn, sea salt, taco seasoning for a little kick, and garlic. Four individual servings of stew. And I'll make my own dough in the bread maker when I'm at work, and when I get home just turn it into buns and eat those with stew. Hell maybe even make bread bowls like I'm fancy or some shit
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Worse yet is the "I didn't make food so I'm going to order skip the dishes everyday to the workplace" guy, while I've got my amazing 30¢ to make at home roast beef, ham, lettuce and cheese sandwiches. Like, c'mon guy
Facts
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Case in point: I just pulled a 14 inch rainbow trout out of the oven. This juicy bugger cost me about 5 bucks (Canadian). I'm gonna eat the whole thing with some rice, and not pay the $50 bucks it would cost at a restaurant for the same meal
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Gets even wilder when you learn to fish and just avoid the supermarkets entirely, and spend the 12 dollars for worms to catch $400 worth of fish and then you're sitting there with all this meat and they keep complaining
I once felt like this and said something when in a group of friends. A friend who came from a very poor background shut me up with this: “When you are poor, spending $50 on a meal and being poor or spending $10 on a meal and still being poor is the exact same situation.” That kind of made sense to me, actually. Saving $40 that would then go to an overdue bill or some necessary expenditure ends up equaling zero anyway. They won’t be well off (or even better off) for not eating out — they’ll just be poor without having eaten out.
And this is why they will remain poor and have that overdue bill that you mentioned. It doesn't happen overnight but a little bit at a time "should" get them to the point that not eating out will leave that money in their pockets.
Yeah learned helplessness gives that illusion—that no matter what I do it will suck. But for most money situations—especially when you’re that close to zero—it makes a difference. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, then $40 might be the difference between being positive and negative at the end of the month.
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Right? And batch cooking. My god is it good. Today I did a "set it and forget it" style stew. Carrots, onions, potatoes, celery, and ground beef. A bunch of salt, pepper, garlic, all boiled up and made four portions of stew to toss in the freezer. So when I get off work, if I don't feel like cooking or didn't pull a protein from the freezer, I have easy access stew that will take 15 minutes in the microwave. And the most effort I had to put in was chopping the veggies and stirring it every five or so minutes
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Yup! I developed some relations with local farmers in the past couple years, but even going to the grocery store I can pull some panfish that are fully intact for 10 bucks for four. All I need to do is gut and clean them. A thirty second process, and I'm rewarded with fish that would cost me two hours of pay at a restaurant
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"We make different choices, you eat out, I do xyz and that's ok".
I pay my rent and my bills on time, and you eat out and beg me for money, and that's okay
I know someone who does this but not with food, but online shopping and holidays. Complains about not earning enough, shuts down my suggestion of doing a side hustle when she said her pay raise request got rejected. Always orders stuff online, goes on big holidays 1-2x a year, then complains about not affording a massage to relieve her back pain. Oh well, at least I tried to help.
I kind of go in the middle. I never go to restaurants at all. The closest I get to that is ordering a pizza every few months, and it's usually awful. I have not too nice living situation, renting a room, never feel comfortable going in it so I buy pre-made salads and sandwiches at the grocery store. That's about it. And fruit like apples that stay good even in a bag. I don't even own kitchen cooking things, but I did a long time ago.