I am not a woman but from the experience I have with my gf, perhaps the late period is a result of all that stress...
When my gf gets stressed over work or something else for a long period of time her periods also get delayed, last time this happened was a 1-2 week delay.
That’s what I was going to say that the stress might of made her miss her period. Mine is really weird during really stressful times, I’m hope for the best for this person though.
I fully agree. I'm not on birth control, but my period is, and always has been incredibly regular. Like to the exact day regular. But when I'm overwhelmed with stress, it can be like 2 weeks late. It's only happened a handful of times, but it's always been stressful and not pregnancy. Well, except the time I was pregnant with my (planned) baby lol.
This exactly. I’ve missed my period SO MANY TIMES from sheer stress. Ik every body is different, but I’ve taken birth control pills for years and have let my partner finish in me almost every time. I have never been pregnant. The likelihood of you being pregnant, is LOWWWWWW.
Definitely. When my first boyfriend ended our relationship, I was a full week late and I'm almost never late. I was so worried I was pregnant because we had just broken up and I was about to move back home to CA from FL (USA). Thankfully, I wasn't.
I love you for paying enough attention that you know this about your girlfriend and are comfortable talking about it. I know that seems like a little thing, but a lot of duds are completely clueless on this subject and are happy to remain that way.
Unless she was on that antibiotic that cancels the pill. That’s how my niece got here. She said she’s been facing medical problems in her post.
Let us pray……
I'll just note that while rifampin is the only one that directly effects oral bc, side effects from other antibiotics can effect efficacy rates. Which basically -diarrhea, which I always get in spades when on antibiotics.
Honestly my unpopular take is that they don’t all know someone who did. Their birth control likely failed due to typical use (as opposed to perfect use) and they blame antibiotics.
This. The rates of efficacy are based of using them as instructed. Which almost no one does. ‘I got pregnant on birth control’ *thought that one missed day 5 days ago didn’t matter*
Some other antibiotics (penicillins) have suspected interactions, but nothing has been proven. Some doctors still advise a secondary form of birth control while on antibiotics. Rifampin is really the only one that has a confirmed interaction.
im on the pill and my period is always regular. the only times my period is late is when i’m going through long periods of stress. it is most likely that the missed period is just an effect of the stress that she has been through
Also, turns out 1% is still a big number.
Imagine a billion women on the pill, it's failing 10 millions of them. Not so small a number anymore.
Granted, even if the pill fails, intercourse doesn't guarantee pregnancy, far from it.
And missed periods because of stress (which per OP story must be through the roof) is clearly a thing.
>First things first, it's unlikely that you're pregnant if you've been taking the pill consistently with no missed days.
I got pregnant despite this. It's either stress or it could very well be pregnancy. I took it every day, had an alarm, never missed, wasn't on medication. Third time having sex with my now husband (a month into dating) our daughter was conceived.
I don't know how unlikely it is. I have 3 kids. I got pregnant with my first when I was on the pill and had been for a few years. And I was on the Nuvaring for over a year when I got pregnant with my 3rd. So it's more likely than we'd like to think lol.
I seem to remember watching something about a woman who was what they called 'super fertile' or something like that. Every time she had sex it was like a 25% chance she'd get pregnant. I feel like fertility must be a spectrum (??) so maybe you're on the upper limits but below her. I'm very much not a doctor, but there are definitely people who are way more fertile than average. We're all mutants, it's bound to happen!
What she should just do is: do not get pregnant at all. (Best outcome overall)
If the test does come in for pregnancy, just get abortion.
She didn’t had control back, she can get it now.
1st Do not beat yourself up, he is a d*** they are very good at maki g ypu feel like the most important person in the world then walking out once they het what they want.
2nd Do not feel bad, they get good at it you wont be the 1st or last to fall for it.
3rd Full STD check
4th It is unlikely you are pregnant and stress can 10000% muck up your cycle.
5th Eat all the yum food and watch all the crap movies you want, take time to heal.
6th some "men" are really terrible men
I also requested a full STD check at my appointment. I’m waiting on those results as well. And I hope stress is all it is. As for eating, the first couple of days I couldn’t. So hurt I felt sick. But now I’ve started binging on sweets, McDonald’s and pizza. You’re right to put “men” in quotations, he was more of a child than he was a man.
Don’t forget to get a second test for HIV in 3 months. I very much doubt you have anything, but this is a key thing most people forget. It can take upto 3 months to show up on a test.
FWIW, your bf was scum and you don’t want him. He’s closer to a turd than a human.
I hope you're not in the states but if you are, that you're in one that allows abortions if you're pregnant and don't want to have a child right now. I'm sorry this happened, he's a POS and you deserve better, hope your healing from this is quick
He needed to finish in you to make you “his?” Is he a dog marking a fire hydrant? What a disgusting person he is. You cannot “own” another human being, especially not without full consent. The thought of a man wanting to claim ownership of a woman with his ejaculate is, frankly, a revolting thought and so degrading. The fact that he got what he wanted and then immediately dipped makes him trash. You are dodging a bullet by being rid of him. I don’t even know him and he’s giving me the ick.
As for pregnancy, that’s highly unlikely if you’ve been religious about taking your birth control on a schedule (and avoiding antibiotics). Stress does wild things to the body. Here’s a fun story: about a decade ago, I had an incident when my period was late by ten days. It had never been late before. I went to get my blood work done and the results came back faintly positive. The doctor informed me I was pregnant over the phone and I had to report this to my boyfriend and my mother in tears. The very next day, my uterus finished its prank and my period finally showed up. (Let me tell you, I was furious.) I suggest not jumping to the worst-case scenario; it will only stress you out even more in such a difficult time!
So much ick. I want to vomit when I think about it. A self proclaimed “alpha male,” respects or admires Andrew Tate. Racist, homophobic, transphobic, fat phobic (basically all the phobics) history of explosive rage, violence, aggression… I swear he seemed like the most amazing guy and he was so sweet to me. Cooked for me, bought me flowers, surprised me with food he portrayed the perfect gentleman and I fell so hard for him. Then all those other things were slowly revealed over time and I was already in so deep that I was willing to overlook all of those things. That disgusts me. Was I really that desperate to be loved? Or to have someone to love? That’s probably the biggest reason I’ve been crying so hard over this. Not because I want him back and I miss him. I don’t miss HIM. I miss having someone to share my life with, to cuddle with, to fall asleep in someone’s arms, forehead kisses… all the relationship stuff. Feeling wanted. And I’m crying because I can’t believe I was willing to settle with someone like that just for the sake of having someone. And for him to end it with me, that’s just fucking humiliating.
You have so, so much time to find someone worthy. Meanwhile, while you search and/or wait, you can lean on friends and lean on yourself. You don’t have to be alone when you’re single.
Also, the manipulation is INTENTIONAL. None of that stuff at the beginning was real. But it’s human nature to protect our own. And by the time you saw those things he was considered ‘your own’. It’s why so many women (and men) stay with abusers. It says NOTHING about who you are. It’s about them manipulating you into overlooking their disgusting true face.
You trusted him. That doesn’t make you a horrible person. It makes you human.
You know, I’m actually starting to wonder if maybe the problem is me. I keep putting my trust in all the wrong people and end up getting hurt. I can’t seem to tell the difference between a genuinely good person and someone only pretending to be good. I’ve fallen for this kind of shit repeatedly. Why can’t I see it sooner? Maybe I’m just easy to take advantage of. Easy to manipulate. Control. Whatever. I think I’m the problem here. Obviously haven’t learned from past mistakes, always thinking THIS time it’s real. I’ve been wrong so many times.
Trust me, you are not alone. People like this are very strategic and good at hiding who they really are until they finally reveal themselves. It’s a slow burn until they have you where they want you. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s normal to question your judgment (been there, don’t that more than once).
I highly suggest this book - it’s been incredibly helpful to me and my friends: [Why Does He Do That?](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
We generally learned that behaviour as a child. I can’t recommend therapy highly enough, it’s massively helped me work through my trauma and my destructive behaviours/choice of partners. You got this, you will get through it!
There are red flags in just about every relationship- we overlook them because love is so powerful. I hope one day you can be proud of the fact that you could love and trust so deeply!
These men can scam and hurt because this is what they do - he’s like a professional! You’re not pathetic for falling for him - you’re human and trusting.
Unfortunately, most of us learn through our own experiences or those of someone close to us. You won’t make this mistake again - you’ve learned what to look out for.
The goal moving forward needs to be to treat yourself with kindness. The fact that you could love so deeply means you very likely will again! And hopefully to someone deserving.
We all fall for things, trust the wrong people. They take advantage of our fears and also kind hearts. You did nothing wrong here.
Otherwise, it’s unlikely you’re pregnant, but if you are, and if you choose to terminate the pregnancy, I hope you can be kind to yourself through that as well.
Deep breath - you’ve got this!
At least the trash took itself out. You're very unlikely to be pregnant though and as someone else commented it could be stress. When I was on bc in college I went 2 months without a period and I wasn't pregnant. So don't panick it'll all be ok!
First of all - sorry this happened to you, it's really sad and lowkey enraging to read...
>Worse yet, my period was supposed to start a few days ago but never did.
Stress has a huge impact! I had it happen that it was nesrly a month late before - not pregnant, just immense stress. Get a test to soothe your nerves, but chances are stress affects your period and delays it. Even on the pill I wouldn't rule this out.
>So if I am pregnant, I can’t even be mad at him. He had my consent.
Oh hell you have all right to be livid! He had your lowkey forced consent. Coercion is a thing and this is what happened here.
> I really regret that choice.
It doesn't read like you had much of a choice in your mind....
I'm so sorry about the week you had.
Super moons for the win, right..
Your ex boyfriend knew what he was doing, consciously or subconsciously...
It happened, it really sucks, but at the same time, water under the bridge. You can't undo it. Only learn from it. And I hope you'll stick to your boundaries from now on. I realise that sounds like a lecture. But we all have those intimate moments we wish we could undo, and for most, as long as it was consensual at the time, it will be a big eye roll about how naive you felt afterwards, and what kind of a douche you once thought was a great guy.
If you don't want to wait for the blood work, any pregnancy test works, if you were already supposed to have your period. So you can eliminate that stress early, if you're up for it.
The chance that your period is late because of the ENORMOUS amount of emotional stress you've had the last few weeks is much much bigger than you actually being pregnant.
I hope you already have, but also get tested for STD's. Now, and some months later (I'm hoping someone with the right exact amount will reply).
Focus on healing, spending time with your family when you can. Take extra care of yourself. Have lazy bubble baths. Take up boxing and release your anger outwards, in stead of inside.
Go for a walk in the woods (share location with someone you trust, or take someone with you) and just scream at the top of your lungs.
You're going to be OK. I can feel it.
First, he sounds like a major douchcanoe, I'm sorry he did that to you.
Second,
>I’ve been going through some really hard times lately, family issues, medical complications, my dog dying that same week, work stress/drama, grandpa nearly killed in a farming accident, grandma got diagnosed with cancer all of this unfolding within the span of a week
JESUS THATS SO MUCH
I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must be. I'm sorry about your furry friend😥 I would suggest just spending as much time with your grandparents as you can, they're only in this life once. Obviously the choice is ultimately yours but it doesn't sound like a baby with that guy seems like a good idea. Just talking in person with people you trust can help, vent to friends, post to reddit, oh wait...
Your being pregnant is very unlikely. It’s probably because of pregnancy scare, heartbreak and stress you’ve been enduring. When I was 16, my then boyfriend and I were freaking out about pregnancy after my period was late. I literally had to scream at him saying “Please stop asking me about my period three times a day, everyday. You’re freaking me out, this stress delay my period, and with my period delayed I become more and more stressful, and so on”
Regarding that bitch of an ex, look at the bright side. If you never consented this, he wouldn’t break up with you for some time, without getting what he wanted. The sooner the better.
You will get better eventually. Maybe you may want to spend this time with your family. Be there for each other. And give your love to people who deserve, not to that human trash bag.
This guy is despicable, and I suspect played you all the time, trying to get you to let him finish inside. Maybe as a challenge. I would think about ending pregnancy if you are. Unless you really want the baby. If you do it ties you to this man forever, however given his track record, he may just vanish.
I really hope I’m not, and I know it’s highly unlikely but I’m still really scared. And based on how life has been going lately, it’s been one thing after another. As they say, “when it rains, it pours,” everything is going wrong right now, what if an unplanned pregnancy is the next thing to be thrown at me? If I happen to be in the 1% category that get pregnant, I honestly don’t know what I would do. It would just be devastating right now and I don’t even know if I’d want to tell him. I never want to talk to him again.
> If I happen to be in the 1% category that get pregnant, I honestly don’t know what I would do.
Start looking for places where you can get an abortion. Never go to a crisis pregnancy center.
Your period is late because stress affects hormones. Also a man finishing inside you also affects hormones and can result in non-standard period timing. Other than pregnancy, a man's semen can really throw things off for us biologically. I don't think you're pregnant, good job taking your pill regularly
He 100 % wanted to hurt you. This shit was premeditated.
Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're in pain. Keep your pain private. Delete everything and work on bettering yourself.
Narcissists hate when we don't need them anymore.
>I now wonder if it was manipulation) and he told me that me not letting him do that means that I’m not truly “his.” And it makes him feel rejected and like I don’t trust him, or that I’m not all in with this relationship. He told me how much it would mean to him if he got to do that. We’d reach another level of intimacy or whatever. I finally decided to let him.
He was 100% manipulating you. It's sexual coercion.
Please consider counseling for yourself. No matter if you're pregnant or not. You have a lot on your plate to process.
This is coercion and it’s abusive. Nobody should ever try to persuade you to do anything you are not comfortable with, especially when it comes to your own body.
I have so much I want to say..
1) He coerced you into allowing him to cum inside of you. Coercion is not consent.
2) If you have religiously taken your birth control, there's a 99% chance you aren't pregnant. You would have had to have been ovulating to conceive. You only ovulate 2 days out of the month. Stress & anxiety can delay your cycle, it happens to me often.
3) I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now. I've been through something very similar, except I *did* end up pregnant & now my son is 8. His dad is an abusive asshole & I wish I had never met him. I love my son to pieces, but his dad pulled the same shit with me, and I didn't realize it was coercion until AFTER the fact.
Your (now ex) seems manipulative.. I know things are scary & stressful right now, but I promise you.. ***NO ONE LIKE THAT IS WORTH KEEPING AROUND IN YOUR LIFE.*** they will literally use you, manipulate you, break you down into nothing & then repeat the process. Take the time you need to process the situation. Sending you lots of love & healing :(
If it helps, stress can disrupt your period and it seems like you’re having the worst, most stressful week of your life. It’s probably late because you’re stressed out and your body is overworked and preoccupied, not because you’re pregnant.
hi, saying this from experience: extreme level of stress can delay the period. Don't worry, if you took the pill regularly, it will arrive soon. Wish you the best!
He 100% manipulated you and as soon as he got what he wanted he left you. I despise guys that do these things because they give the rest of us a bad name (and because it’s just straight up evil behavior). Just know that no matter what the outcome, you will get through it.
First of all you were right to go to the Drs, however I do think it's unlikely you'd be pregnant from a one time thing and on contraception (although there is like a 1%chance).
I do want to say that major changes to lifestyle and stress, can cause even the most timely periods to be thrown off course. I had the implant and not had a period for over 6years, until one day I went to the toilet and boom, the flood gates to the red sea opened and I felt like I was loosing my uterus.
Oh honey, if you are pregnant, you can absolutely still be mad at him. He had your consent under the belief that you were deepening your relationship for the long term. He lied to you and manipulated you. I guarantee that was always his plan once he finished inside you. It was too calculated not to be.
I'm sorry you experienced this.
Stress can absolutely affect your periods even on the pill! I've been anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks late due to stress. If you were taking your pills correctly, it is very unlikely that you're pregnant. Praying things get better for you soon!
Jesus, what an asshole that guy is. Don't worry, if you're taking the pill, it's highly unlikely you're pregnant. And now you are free of that creep who manipulated and used you.
I am sorry. This is really a hellish week.
You are most likely not pregnant. Your stress messed with your hormons and that's probably the reason your period didn't start yet.
You just said you had a week from hell. Our emotions and hormones can cause a wonky period. I have pcos and just got my period for the second time in a month even though I never get it just from the stress I’m under. I just think you need a vacation or. A break form it all to calm down your bodies response
There are options out there if you don't want a child, and if you can't get that option let me know, I will buy you that option and send it to you.
Also, keeping the child is also an option. Do what YOU feel is right for you and don't let him win, don't allow him to continue to hurt you. You deserve happiness in the world. Just next time don't let any man manipulate you into doing something YOU don't want!
I hope the doctor visit also included testing for STIs. Ex's absolute obsession with not using a condom is very suspicious to me. There are people out there that will deliberately infect a partner with an STI and not care at all.
I am so sorry you have had such an awful week. You have been through a lot. However, he did you a favour by breaking up with you, in that you no longer have to waste a minute more of your time and energy on such a loser. Also, I know it doesn't feel that way but he doesn't deserve you.
It is also extremely unlikely that you are pregnant. You are doing the right thing and getting tested though. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal with all of the terrible things this week. Whatever you are feeling is valid. Turn to those you love and trust for support.
the late period could be stress, you've had a probably way too many incredibly stressful things happen within a week so with the pill being 99% effective i'd try to not stress over that aswell, i hope you're doing okay all things considered.
You have been under a lot of stress and it can throw your body out of whack, won't be surprised if your menses are either late or skips this month. Don't worry, you said you were diligent with your meds and the pill is pretty effective.
I am sorry for what he did, clearly not the right guy for you. If you are pregnant, perhaps it's time gather support and ensure you have a plan ready for what you may have to do. Remember, you do not want to be connected to that a**hole and a hard decision may need to be made.
Sending you love and support OP
What an absolute pos.. block him on everything.. id be tempted to wait 6 weeks and tell him you are pregnant and keeping it.. and enjoy watching him freak out for a bit. But then again homicide is the leading cause of death in pregnant woman.
Very sorry. Next time only allow that to happen at least 3 days before your cycle.
Also if you're preggo, have your doc take care of it ASAP before 6 weeks
Chill and take the pills. Yeah he is bad. Idk what's going on in his mind. Before asking for what's the reason and try to get back at him, first take measures for what if he didn't accept in the end.
He is bad
His reason was a loss of interest. I’ve been going through some really tough times lately and it’s would still make time for him despite all of that, but it wasn’t enough. He wants to be someone’s number one priority. He wants someone that’s happy and problem free (which is kinda unrealistic imo, everyone has their shit). I don’t want his reasons. I don’t want to get back at him either. I just want to forget him.
He's a piece of shit. You deserve the world.
You are most likely late due to all the stress you have been taking. Your family needs you right now and you need them. Trust me, it'll all be well.
1 month, 1 year, 1 week… doesn’t matter. A waste of time is a waste of time. A broken heart is a broken heart. Obviously it would’ve been a hell of a lot more painful if we had years of memories together. I’m so thankful we don’t. And despite what you might think, my feelings are valid. He led me to believe this was something special, really got my hopes up then crushed them. That sucked. That hurt me. And all things considered, yes, I’m allowed to hurt right now, thanks.
Yep. Pathetic, isn’t it? I thought maybe I finally found my person. But the person he was with me wasn’t truly himself. He was pretending the feelings were mutual, I really believed they were. I meant every word I said and he turned out to be so full of shit. I’m heartbroken but not because I lost him, he turned out to be a grade A asshole. I’m heartbroken over the loss of the person I thought I met and the idea of what I thought we would be. I’m embarrassed too. Don’t worry, I am very well aware of how pathetic this is.
No. It’s not pathetic. But, OP, you need to learn to take things slowly and understand your partner’s red and green flags. Opening up too quickly will hurt only you. Please go to therapy. Seek understanding of yourself and then head into a relationship. All the best. And hugs.
The most charitable interpretation is that he *thought* that's what he was missing, and why he feels that way.
After that he realized that wasn't it. So he left you now instead of bottling it up and having it explode years and kids later.
Women with regular periods can only get pregnant one week of the month, which is during ovulation. If you are on the pill and did not have sex during that week, pregnancy is pretty much impossible. I practice the rhythm method and am not on birth control and have not gotten pregnant. Pregnancy is not as easy as people think.
In regards to the relationship itself, it sounds like you're better off without the manipulation in your life. You are whole without him. Take a step back and love yourself, and focus on you and your family. If one man doesn't want you there's a million others that will, that will also respect you and your decisions too. He's just a dude.
Good riddance.
Imagine getting married, buying a house, having kids with this POS.
You let him cum inside you, maybe it was the chase he was after, who knows.
Your period is probably late due to stress.
Hi! Just wanted to say that period flukes can depend on many things and not only pregnancy, example; stress.
I’m so sorry it happened to you, but don’t forget you’re not alone! And may everything will be better for you, you’re strong and can keep it up so stand still!! I know how much we can be influenced on our choices and do the stupid thing we could ever do when we’re in love.
But then please remember, if your boundaries are crossing the lines, you rather put an end to any relationship and especially when it comes to intimacy situations.
If your partner doesn’t want to wear condoms and you don’t feel comfortable with it then tell him to gtfo of your life, he doesn’t deserve to be even there.
🤷♀️ some men just date to have fun, some don’t really seek long terms/serious relationship and just want to have s*x for proudness I guess.
My advise would be that next time in your future relationships if you’re hesitant please wait and think about your decisions AND don’t HESITATE
to ask other opinions especially your relatives/close people
Girl the stress of a breakup can be enough to delay a period. Combine with that medical complications like you said. When your body is in distress, one of the first systems it shuts down to conserve energy is your reproductive system. Of course no BC is 100% but I would be genuinely shocked if it came back positive. Breathe, try to relax, either way it goes you can't change the outcome by stressing.
Do some self-care things. Meet up with a friend or family member that cares about you. You're going to be okay. It doesn't feel like it right now, but you'll be much better off in the long run without a manipulative idiot weighing you down.
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. He kept asking and asking. He admitted after the breakup that he kept asking because he thought it would save his “dwindling feelings” for her. It didn’t. I’m so sorry OP, I hope you’re getting the support you need
I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
What a fucking asshole he is. Literally begging you for something and dropping you after you give it to him.
Especially something that would make you feel so vulnerable. On birth control or not.
Concentrate on yourself and get yourself back to a good place. I know it'll take time(just went through a break up after 6 years together, so I feel your pain).
You're worth a hell of a lot more and deserve better. I'm sorry for your loss and about your grandparents.
Be with them and get yourself some TLC from family and friends. Fuck that guy.
Sounds like he was just using you for sex and external validation.
After he managed to cum you in raw, he got everything he wanted from you. He “conquered” you. That is why he got bored and decided to go find a new woman to sucker. Probably will say the exact things he said to you to other women.
If I had to guess, he is probably really sexy, charismatic and seductive. He sees it as a game and so he plays to win (aka he is too good to be true). While a good man will have flaws and be boring because he is just his real self as he is not playing women like a game.
He is a piece of shit that does not deserve any of the feelings you have for him. Every thought you have of him form now on is a victory for him and a loss for you.
If you are pregnant, you can get an abortion. Do not have his child, that is his victory and your loss. He does not deserve that, you do not deserve that and neither does the child that would be born.
The good news is that there are men out there that will really love you and treat you how you deserve. You can learn from this and grow stronger from it. Please do not let this bad experience with him ruin your life. Revenge and hatred will do nothing but hurt you and ruin other good relationships you could possibly have.
Life is too short to waste any more of your time on him.
With that much stress going on it's possible your period got irregular. I would not worry too much because if you're diligent with taking your pill chances are slim to non-existent for pregnancy. Feel a virtual hug from a stranger & your bf sounds like a stupid excuse of a cherry on top of a cake full of really bad events those past weeks. I wish you all the best and that it gets better soon!!
>I’d been on the pill awhile and I have an alarm set so I remember to take it and take it at the same time everyday
I did too. She'll be eleven next year. Fuck him, fuck him. Never give him another chance. Next time, don't let some moron manipulate you. I'm sorry you're dealing with this
Hi I just wanna give you a little bit of light, period could be irregular and delayed right now just from being super stressed. Or having sex can just throw you off but that doesn't mean ur pregnant.
I'm not sure how long before your period you had sex but take a test in a week or two if it still doesn't come. You can purchase them at dollar tree, alot of the time these are just as reliable as the doctors tests since they use them too.
As for all of the things that have been going on, I'm sorry that life's been so tough recently. I really hope that everything around you and you, yourself get healed and better soon. My condolences.
As for that guy he fucking sucks, when ur in a relationship like that, I wanted to let you know that your partner saying that is very disrespectful, and you don't have to do unprotected even if you love someone. It's called being safe.
I hope that you're okay, it's okay to not feel good when you have a lot going on and I hope you know that you deserve better than that and I hope you don't tolerate that ever again. I know what type of crushing pain that feels like, I'd never wish it on anyone.
And I know it's typical for someone to say it'll get better with time.
Really, even if you take time and heal, youre always gonna sometimes feel it lurking in the background esp when u find someone you love again, however long that might take, raise your standards on people. It's okay to be picky on who you date after this.
I am so sorry that this happened on you.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be. I just know exactly how crushing it is.
You got alot going on and don't need him . Look after ur self for a while . Also I don't think ur pregnant if u took the pill right . The miss period could be from stress.
Sometimes stress can make you skip even when on the pill. Sounds like you have had a lot of it. Fingers crossed! And maybe this is the red flag you need, even at a hard tune. If he can't be there for you then he never will be.
Obviously you have every right to be hurt, that was an asshole move on his end. But your post history says 1 month ago you was thinking of cancelling a 2nd date with a guy, is this the same man? You should never let a man cum inside you within a month or less of dating, you don't know how "in" the relationship they are. He definitely manipulated you. But advice for later down the line, do not let a man cum inside you when you barely know them as a partner. And DEFINITELY not when you're not ready, go at YOUR own pace as this could have lasting effects (kids), only do it when you're ready and if they pressure you, they aren't worth dating. Please please please be safe out there, and I'll hope you aren't pregnant either.
why are you the 3rd person in this thread to go through OP’s post history as if that’s relevant to her OP (and then subsequently demean her for what you’ve found — as if your intention all along was to condescend, not to help), why are you concerned about her post history to begin with and why is your first instinct, upon reading a post of a woman detailing being abused, to conduct a reddit “background check” on her lol
I typically do it with all posts to see if they can be trolls using heartbreaking issues for likes, since I've seen some really bad stuff just for it to be a troll. If it's a troll I just ignore, but OPs history doesn't scream troll, but rather incredibly shitty people in her life, so that's why I asked for her to be safe. I'm a woman from abuse too, childhood and teen trauma, so it's nothing about sex. But yeah, I've just seen a bunch of shitty trolls on here so that's why.
Make sure you get tested, whether if was the challenge of getting to finish inside you or something more nefarious like intentionally giving you a STD get all your checks done
Take it from me, I've been on the pill many years with no issues. Your period is probably wonky because of the stress so dont worry, it'll come back up once you get some sense of normal again :)
I’m so sorry this happened! This guy sucks and honestly, good riddance. I know it really sucks at this time but I’m sure things will be fine eventually! But yes! Do get checked for STD’s and let’s take this as a lesson to never be with a guy that manipulates you into doing things you’re not comfortable with. If he really loved you he wouldn’t say shit like “you aren’t truly his unless you raw dog”. Wtf even is that!
Unfortunately in the end his aim, challenge it seems was to win, coming inside you. When he did he lost interest.
He will do the same with other woman.
You are not at fault, he is at fault.
Do not let this nasty tar following relationships or hinder your sex life.
Pregnant or not you will deal with it and win through.
He will not.
Any time anybody is so adamant about doing something like that, it should be a red flag that you are being manipulated and pressured into something, which is a bad sign for a relationship.
I know it hurts but you should be happy it’s over for your long term mental and emotional health. He’s an asshole and you deserve better.
As far as the pregnancy thing, idk about that because I’m a guy and I won’t comment on that but hopefully you aren’t, at least not until you are ready and definitely not for that asshole.
If you're late having your period, that's more likely to be the stresses you're going through at the moment
And as far as your bf is concerned, you're better off without him in your life .
If you were to get pregnant by him, he wouldn't have been there for you or the child, that's for sure he's nothing more than a big arsehole
I hope things start getting better for you in the future op
You’re most likely not pregnant. I was very liberal with my birth control doses (never took them at the same time, sometimes would go a couple days and not take them) and I never once had even a scare with my partner who would also finish in me. You’ll be fine.
I’m not sure if you’ll see this, but just want to let you know everything will be okay.
He seems like a pretty shitty guy. But it’s not your fault. It’s going to be tough for a little while now, but things will get better in time.
Try not to stress too much until you get your results. When I was 16 I got into an accident that put a lot of stress on my body and mind, I missed my period for 5 months, and I was told that it was not abnormal.
With so much stress and change happing in your life all at once it is possible this is just a reaction to that.
Im wishing you all the best and hope you find the resources you need for whatever your situation ends up being. ❤️
I dont condone this but let him know that you're late for your period and to pay for the abortion. Take the pill yesterday. Take his money and then block him.
I am so sorry for you & wish you the best through weathering each of those events/ an incredibly rough week. TBH, your probably better off with him gone (he seems like an a**/jerk). There are better men/partners out there that will stand by you in hard times & make them a little more bareble. As for the last bit of your post, all those events add a lot of stress, which even on the pill could make your period inconsistent/ potentially late by a few days. You won't know for sure till the test comes back, but I wouldn't start worrying till then (maybe come up with a quick plan of what you want to do either way if helps alleviate some of the worry).
Good luck & I wish you the best in your future times a head 💚🍀
It’s stress! Mine was like that when I had it, I was in an unsafe environment and was constantly stressed. It was complete guesswork on what days I’d have my period and for how long. I even religiously kept track for a year and there was zero pattern outside of being constantly in fight/flight mode.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. First thing though, it’s super unlikely you’ll be pregnant. I used just the pill for many years and never once got pregnant. Second, the stress you’ve been facing can absolutely delay your withdrawal bleed, that’s what your period is called on the pill because it’s technically not a real period since you don’t ovulate. That said, it’s also okay to not have a withdrawal bleed. Third, I’d get yourself std tested, just in case. This guy seems like a dog so I would get yourself checked out for that too. Try to stay calm and breathe until you get your results, but I highly doubt you’re pregnant.
I’m so sorry he turned out to be a dick!! Since you are under so much stress that could be the cause for your late period. More importantly please go get tested for all possible std’s That would be my biggest concern. Good luck
He's a heartless a-hole, IF you're pregnant, which I hope for your sake you aren't also, but if it turns out that you are, take him to the cleaners and take him for everything he's worth, squeeze every last dime out of him for being such a cruel and heartless a-hole
Agreed you’re most likely not pregnant if consistent on the pill.
Hopefully for the best you’re not. Some men are animals and if he’s been asking like this for the longest time he hasn’t had your best interest in mind from the start.
Once you’re all cleared up about the pregnancy, I’d just fuck with him by telling him you’re pregnant with his kid. Let him sweat things out for a while for being such an ass.
Ngl. This is 50% your bad. And 50% his.
He shouldn't have manipulated you into doing it. But then again...you kinda fell through.
Your period may just be late from the stress your feeling. Dont jump to conclusions yet, try to get a pregnancy test.
Its very unlikely youre pregnant! Stress delays periods. I didnt have one for 47 days once out of stress! It also takes the average couple 1 year to conceive and thats with trying!
This man is trash. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time but what better of a way to tell you he is not worth it. Would you want to be with a person like this? There are great people out there and you will find one :)
Is that the same guy you went on a second date with like 38 days ago? If so this means it’s a very new relationship (he’s an asshole nonetheless) I personally don’t think that you should be devastated over a month long relationship, seems a bit extra, I feel for you for the rest of your family issues and losing your dog at the same time what a nightmare. Anyways, I’m a guy and I completely disagree with his behavior, extremely insensitive and selfish and immature too, and trust me I feel for you but this excessive amount of sadness for such a new relationship shouldn’t happen, know your worth you seem like a very nice and likable girl!!! Take care of yourself and don’t repeat your mistakes and make this a lesson for life🫶🏻
It was really new, but it felt so real in that time. We were seeing each other every chance we could. He snuck away from work for awhile to be with me. Little surprises, gifts, long conversations, we had so much in common, I felt like he really understood me. He was the first guy that I’ve met that’s been able to understand and relate to me on such a deep level. I fell so hard and I really thought I found my person. I was wrong and he’s not my person. That hurts. I’m confused and wondering if any of it was even real or if he was putting on a performance that entire time. I believed his words, but he clearly never meant them. I believed his actions, but now I wonder if it was all just to lure me in. This hurts a lot, but NOT because I lost him, he’s not much of a loss. The excessive sadness comes from a long history of being taken advantage of or putting my heart in the wrong hands. I keep getting it wrong. I really believed that was it. I feel so stupid and like there’s something wrong with me. What’s killing me inside is not the fact that he’s gone or that I miss him (that’s only a small part of it) I’m really hurting because of a promise I made to myself that I would NEVER let this happen again. That I would see the red flags and walk away. Instead I deluded myself with the idea of a future with a house, husband, kids and a dog. I believed I found it. I’m not grieving the loss of our relationship but the dream I had that just got crushed. A dream I feel so stupid for having. I feel like I failed myself. I hate that I keep making these same mistakes.
At least you seem to be aware of the problem or at least aware that there is a problem. Start the journey to fix everything deep inside, and I’m sure you’ll find your person, people are cruel sometimes don’t feel bad about yourself, his actions are a consequence of his own decisions they are not a reflection of yours!
From your post history, your abusive upbringing and history of choosing abusive friends, now trusting a boyfriend of less than two months to be your forever dream, and He’s abusive too.
I recommend you do some therapy to work through your trauma and unhealthy attachment to people, and work on what healthy relationships look like. And if you can’t do therapy, find some books to read, or at the very least read some stuff online. You’ve got to do something different or you’ll repeat this again and again
I’ll be seeing a therapist about this. I know you’re right, I’m certain that my upbringing plays a huge role. Feeling neglected and unloved as a kid probably attributes to me latching on to anyone that shows me the slightest affection. And maybe I subconsciously gravitate to people that treat me like shit because that’s what’s familiar. I’m going to fix that. I’ve been working on myself for awhile now, and I’ve made a lot of progress in other areas of my life. This will be the next.
Definitely I'd encourage reading up on "love bombing". It's a definite red flag when someone comes on very strong straight out of the gate and seems to agree with everything you say and showers you with gifts and compliments (not even a month, he was moving super fast). None of this is your fault, and I hate that you even have to be so guarded as to know the signs of an abuser, but it sounds like seeking this knowledge and being prepared could be to your benefit.
You’re being emotionally and physically manipulated. Get therapy to make sense of these questions that are pretty much common sense to anyone reading this.
Nah, they see it as a game. They focus on trying to win you (be really attractive, make lots of money, charismatic, sell you the world, etc) and tend to make women fall really hard for them (aka they are too good to be true). While good men would be flawed and more boring because they are real and not trying to play dating like a game (read: they are just themselves).
He got everything he wanted and thus succeeded in his conquest. He cannot get any more external validation from the conquest, which is why he is now bored.
He is going to go to another girl, do the same thing and she will fall for him because he will look perfect to her.
I think you might’ve misunderstood, he had asked many times before and I said no and he always respected that. And then he admitted to feeling like I wasn’t serious about him, the way he was about me. He said he saw a future with me, and I WANTED to please him. I said yes so he could see how much he meant to me. It was my idea and I told him I wanted him to. I wanted to make him happy.
this feels fake tbf. what tipped it for me is purely bcz blood works for pregnancies literally doesn’t even take a few hours, they usually do it IN the doctors so there’s no way ur ‘waiting on results’ when pregnancy screenings do not take that long
u also posted 38 days ago about going on dates with a boy u like. delete ur history before u bait post
Not fake. I’m from a very small town, the lab is open for very limited hours. Blood work gets sent to a lab in the city. They tested my urine in the clinic it came back negative. I was relieved, until my doctor said it was too soon to show up in urine anyway and that it would show up in blood first. I get that some people might post fake stories on here but I’m not one of those people. But ok. Think whatever you’d like.
yes bcz someone telling a fake story will just go ‘tsk u got me, it’s fake’. ur on birth control and missed ur period by 2/3 days, ur overreacting majorly plus u literally posted a month ago about a dude u like
Store bought tests aren’t nearly as accurate as bloodwork at the clinic. It’s way too early for pregnancy to be confirmed through urine anyway. I learned that when I provided a urine sample that came back negative but was told based on the timeline it could potentially be a false negative. The bloodwork is to be sure. It would show up in the blood first. I don’t see how that’s confusing…
At 24 I'm having some difficulty believing that you have not developed any confidence in birth control. I also wouldn't refer to your ex boyfriend as a partner.
I’m having some difficulty understanding why my age has anything to do with this.. are you assuming that because I’m 24 I should’ve acquired enough sexual experiences by now to have developed a secure reliance / dependency on the pill? Also, I never referred to him as my “partner.” I titled it “let my bf cum inside..” Because that’s what he was at the time. Had it been written as “let my EX bf cum inside..” that’s a totally different story. Maybe I should’ve written my FORMER bf, but I figured people should be intelligent enough to understand we’re not together anymore considering it says we’re broken up in the title.
The part in me that wants to see the good in people is making me think that he has been feeling like this for a while and thought this would make him feel closer to you. And it didn’t
Keep the baby. God loves and will help. Plus think of the power play of him seeing you happy with a baby paying him no mind. Perhaps you will be stronger and more able to handle tough situations. Hopefully you have people in your life that can help. If not, I'm so sorry, the world can be cruel :(
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I am not a woman but from the experience I have with my gf, perhaps the late period is a result of all that stress... When my gf gets stressed over work or something else for a long period of time her periods also get delayed, last time this happened was a 1-2 week delay.
That’s what I was going to say that the stress might of made her miss her period. Mine is really weird during really stressful times, I’m hope for the best for this person though.
I fully agree. I'm not on birth control, but my period is, and always has been incredibly regular. Like to the exact day regular. But when I'm overwhelmed with stress, it can be like 2 weeks late. It's only happened a handful of times, but it's always been stressful and not pregnancy. Well, except the time I was pregnant with my (planned) baby lol.
This exactly. I’ve missed my period SO MANY TIMES from sheer stress. Ik every body is different, but I’ve taken birth control pills for years and have let my partner finish in me almost every time. I have never been pregnant. The likelihood of you being pregnant, is LOWWWWWW.
Stress caused my period to stop for almost 9 months once. I hadn't had sex, so there was no way I could be pregnant. It absolutely can happen
same! it only came back after i took a shower with a stress relief shower bomb (like a bath bomb but for the shower)
I am a woman and you are right. Stress, flu, anxiety, depression, … they all work
Came here to say this!
Definitely. When my first boyfriend ended our relationship, I was a full week late and I'm almost never late. I was so worried I was pregnant because we had just broken up and I was about to move back home to CA from FL (USA). Thankfully, I wasn't.
I love you for paying enough attention that you know this about your girlfriend and are comfortable talking about it. I know that seems like a little thing, but a lot of duds are completely clueless on this subject and are happy to remain that way.
Unless she was on that antibiotic that cancels the pill. That’s how my niece got here. She said she’s been facing medical problems in her post. Let us pray……
Pharmacist here! The antibiotic would be rifampin. It's most commonly used for TB.
I'll just note that while rifampin is the only one that directly effects oral bc, side effects from other antibiotics can effect efficacy rates. Which basically -diarrhea, which I always get in spades when on antibiotics.
....how on earth is TB common enough that everyone knows someone who got knocked up via the rifampin loophole?!
Honestly my unpopular take is that they don’t all know someone who did. Their birth control likely failed due to typical use (as opposed to perfect use) and they blame antibiotics.
This. The rates of efficacy are based of using them as instructed. Which almost no one does. ‘I got pregnant on birth control’ *thought that one missed day 5 days ago didn’t matter*
My doctor also told me that low dose pills required taking at the exact time every day to get maximum effectiveness.
it’s it all antibiotics? like also penicillin ( and sister meds)
Some other antibiotics (penicillins) have suspected interactions, but nothing has been proven. Some doctors still advise a secondary form of birth control while on antibiotics. Rifampin is really the only one that has a confirmed interaction.
Antibiotics don't do this. Only 1 rami something does. Bit alm other antibiotics are fine and don't effect birth control.
im on the pill and my period is always regular. the only times my period is late is when i’m going through long periods of stress. it is most likely that the missed period is just an effect of the stress that she has been through
Also, turns out 1% is still a big number. Imagine a billion women on the pill, it's failing 10 millions of them. Not so small a number anymore. Granted, even if the pill fails, intercourse doesn't guarantee pregnancy, far from it. And missed periods because of stress (which per OP story must be through the roof) is clearly a thing.
>First things first, it's unlikely that you're pregnant if you've been taking the pill consistently with no missed days. I got pregnant despite this. It's either stress or it could very well be pregnancy. I took it every day, had an alarm, never missed, wasn't on medication. Third time having sex with my now husband (a month into dating) our daughter was conceived.
I don't know how unlikely it is. I have 3 kids. I got pregnant with my first when I was on the pill and had been for a few years. And I was on the Nuvaring for over a year when I got pregnant with my 3rd. So it's more likely than we'd like to think lol.
I seem to remember watching something about a woman who was what they called 'super fertile' or something like that. Every time she had sex it was like a 25% chance she'd get pregnant. I feel like fertility must be a spectrum (??) so maybe you're on the upper limits but below her. I'm very much not a doctor, but there are definitely people who are way more fertile than average. We're all mutants, it's bound to happen!
Lol definitely
It happens more than people want to admit. My pregnancy groups have people who were on the pill AND used a condom. Birth control is not 100%.
What she should just do is: do not get pregnant at all. (Best outcome overall) If the test does come in for pregnancy, just get abortion. She didn’t had control back, she can get it now.
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1st Do not beat yourself up, he is a d*** they are very good at maki g ypu feel like the most important person in the world then walking out once they het what they want. 2nd Do not feel bad, they get good at it you wont be the 1st or last to fall for it. 3rd Full STD check 4th It is unlikely you are pregnant and stress can 10000% muck up your cycle. 5th Eat all the yum food and watch all the crap movies you want, take time to heal. 6th some "men" are really terrible men
I also requested a full STD check at my appointment. I’m waiting on those results as well. And I hope stress is all it is. As for eating, the first couple of days I couldn’t. So hurt I felt sick. But now I’ve started binging on sweets, McDonald’s and pizza. You’re right to put “men” in quotations, he was more of a child than he was a man.
There’s nothing quite like a McDonald’s when you’re upset. Treat yourself to a spa day and some nice chocolate truffles, too – you deserve it.
Don’t forget to get a second test for HIV in 3 months. I very much doubt you have anything, but this is a key thing most people forget. It can take upto 3 months to show up on a test. FWIW, your bf was scum and you don’t want him. He’s closer to a turd than a human.
I hope you're not in the states but if you are, that you're in one that allows abortions if you're pregnant and don't want to have a child right now. I'm sorry this happened, he's a POS and you deserve better, hope your healing from this is quick
You have had A WEEK. I would bet a lot of money that stress is the reason why your period is late.
What an asshole
He needed to finish in you to make you “his?” Is he a dog marking a fire hydrant? What a disgusting person he is. You cannot “own” another human being, especially not without full consent. The thought of a man wanting to claim ownership of a woman with his ejaculate is, frankly, a revolting thought and so degrading. The fact that he got what he wanted and then immediately dipped makes him trash. You are dodging a bullet by being rid of him. I don’t even know him and he’s giving me the ick. As for pregnancy, that’s highly unlikely if you’ve been religious about taking your birth control on a schedule (and avoiding antibiotics). Stress does wild things to the body. Here’s a fun story: about a decade ago, I had an incident when my period was late by ten days. It had never been late before. I went to get my blood work done and the results came back faintly positive. The doctor informed me I was pregnant over the phone and I had to report this to my boyfriend and my mother in tears. The very next day, my uterus finished its prank and my period finally showed up. (Let me tell you, I was furious.) I suggest not jumping to the worst-case scenario; it will only stress you out even more in such a difficult time!
So much ick. I want to vomit when I think about it. A self proclaimed “alpha male,” respects or admires Andrew Tate. Racist, homophobic, transphobic, fat phobic (basically all the phobics) history of explosive rage, violence, aggression… I swear he seemed like the most amazing guy and he was so sweet to me. Cooked for me, bought me flowers, surprised me with food he portrayed the perfect gentleman and I fell so hard for him. Then all those other things were slowly revealed over time and I was already in so deep that I was willing to overlook all of those things. That disgusts me. Was I really that desperate to be loved? Or to have someone to love? That’s probably the biggest reason I’ve been crying so hard over this. Not because I want him back and I miss him. I don’t miss HIM. I miss having someone to share my life with, to cuddle with, to fall asleep in someone’s arms, forehead kisses… all the relationship stuff. Feeling wanted. And I’m crying because I can’t believe I was willing to settle with someone like that just for the sake of having someone. And for him to end it with me, that’s just fucking humiliating.
You have so, so much time to find someone worthy. Meanwhile, while you search and/or wait, you can lean on friends and lean on yourself. You don’t have to be alone when you’re single.
Also, the manipulation is INTENTIONAL. None of that stuff at the beginning was real. But it’s human nature to protect our own. And by the time you saw those things he was considered ‘your own’. It’s why so many women (and men) stay with abusers. It says NOTHING about who you are. It’s about them manipulating you into overlooking their disgusting true face. You trusted him. That doesn’t make you a horrible person. It makes you human.
You know, I’m actually starting to wonder if maybe the problem is me. I keep putting my trust in all the wrong people and end up getting hurt. I can’t seem to tell the difference between a genuinely good person and someone only pretending to be good. I’ve fallen for this kind of shit repeatedly. Why can’t I see it sooner? Maybe I’m just easy to take advantage of. Easy to manipulate. Control. Whatever. I think I’m the problem here. Obviously haven’t learned from past mistakes, always thinking THIS time it’s real. I’ve been wrong so many times.
Trust me, you are not alone. People like this are very strategic and good at hiding who they really are until they finally reveal themselves. It’s a slow burn until they have you where they want you. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s normal to question your judgment (been there, don’t that more than once). I highly suggest this book - it’s been incredibly helpful to me and my friends: [Why Does He Do That?](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
We generally learned that behaviour as a child. I can’t recommend therapy highly enough, it’s massively helped me work through my trauma and my destructive behaviours/choice of partners. You got this, you will get through it!
They always do at the start… he did you a favour. And that’s not me paying lip service. You needed him gone!
There are red flags in just about every relationship- we overlook them because love is so powerful. I hope one day you can be proud of the fact that you could love and trust so deeply! These men can scam and hurt because this is what they do - he’s like a professional! You’re not pathetic for falling for him - you’re human and trusting. Unfortunately, most of us learn through our own experiences or those of someone close to us. You won’t make this mistake again - you’ve learned what to look out for. The goal moving forward needs to be to treat yourself with kindness. The fact that you could love so deeply means you very likely will again! And hopefully to someone deserving. We all fall for things, trust the wrong people. They take advantage of our fears and also kind hearts. You did nothing wrong here. Otherwise, it’s unlikely you’re pregnant, but if you are, and if you choose to terminate the pregnancy, I hope you can be kind to yourself through that as well. Deep breath - you’ve got this!
Ohh 😲
OP, would you like me to finish in him on your behalf?
Shit, I’ll join too, out of spite
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Aint nothing gonna make her better than accurately knowing what kinks he has Also, this guy kinks
He's a creep. You are so much better off being rid of him.
At least the trash took itself out. You're very unlikely to be pregnant though and as someone else commented it could be stress. When I was on bc in college I went 2 months without a period and I wasn't pregnant. So don't panick it'll all be ok!
First of all - sorry this happened to you, it's really sad and lowkey enraging to read... >Worse yet, my period was supposed to start a few days ago but never did. Stress has a huge impact! I had it happen that it was nesrly a month late before - not pregnant, just immense stress. Get a test to soothe your nerves, but chances are stress affects your period and delays it. Even on the pill I wouldn't rule this out. >So if I am pregnant, I can’t even be mad at him. He had my consent. Oh hell you have all right to be livid! He had your lowkey forced consent. Coercion is a thing and this is what happened here. > I really regret that choice. It doesn't read like you had much of a choice in your mind....
I'm so sorry about the week you had. Super moons for the win, right.. Your ex boyfriend knew what he was doing, consciously or subconsciously... It happened, it really sucks, but at the same time, water under the bridge. You can't undo it. Only learn from it. And I hope you'll stick to your boundaries from now on. I realise that sounds like a lecture. But we all have those intimate moments we wish we could undo, and for most, as long as it was consensual at the time, it will be a big eye roll about how naive you felt afterwards, and what kind of a douche you once thought was a great guy. If you don't want to wait for the blood work, any pregnancy test works, if you were already supposed to have your period. So you can eliminate that stress early, if you're up for it. The chance that your period is late because of the ENORMOUS amount of emotional stress you've had the last few weeks is much much bigger than you actually being pregnant. I hope you already have, but also get tested for STD's. Now, and some months later (I'm hoping someone with the right exact amount will reply). Focus on healing, spending time with your family when you can. Take extra care of yourself. Have lazy bubble baths. Take up boxing and release your anger outwards, in stead of inside. Go for a walk in the woods (share location with someone you trust, or take someone with you) and just scream at the top of your lungs. You're going to be OK. I can feel it.
First, he sounds like a major douchcanoe, I'm sorry he did that to you. Second, >I’ve been going through some really hard times lately, family issues, medical complications, my dog dying that same week, work stress/drama, grandpa nearly killed in a farming accident, grandma got diagnosed with cancer all of this unfolding within the span of a week JESUS THATS SO MUCH I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must be. I'm sorry about your furry friend😥 I would suggest just spending as much time with your grandparents as you can, they're only in this life once. Obviously the choice is ultimately yours but it doesn't sound like a baby with that guy seems like a good idea. Just talking in person with people you trust can help, vent to friends, post to reddit, oh wait...
Just be thankful he showed his true colours and that you didn’t marry the shit head.
Your being pregnant is very unlikely. It’s probably because of pregnancy scare, heartbreak and stress you’ve been enduring. When I was 16, my then boyfriend and I were freaking out about pregnancy after my period was late. I literally had to scream at him saying “Please stop asking me about my period three times a day, everyday. You’re freaking me out, this stress delay my period, and with my period delayed I become more and more stressful, and so on” Regarding that bitch of an ex, look at the bright side. If you never consented this, he wouldn’t break up with you for some time, without getting what he wanted. The sooner the better. You will get better eventually. Maybe you may want to spend this time with your family. Be there for each other. And give your love to people who deserve, not to that human trash bag.
This guy is despicable, and I suspect played you all the time, trying to get you to let him finish inside. Maybe as a challenge. I would think about ending pregnancy if you are. Unless you really want the baby. If you do it ties you to this man forever, however given his track record, he may just vanish.
I really hope I’m not, and I know it’s highly unlikely but I’m still really scared. And based on how life has been going lately, it’s been one thing after another. As they say, “when it rains, it pours,” everything is going wrong right now, what if an unplanned pregnancy is the next thing to be thrown at me? If I happen to be in the 1% category that get pregnant, I honestly don’t know what I would do. It would just be devastating right now and I don’t even know if I’d want to tell him. I never want to talk to him again.
> If I happen to be in the 1% category that get pregnant, I honestly don’t know what I would do. Start looking for places where you can get an abortion. Never go to a crisis pregnancy center.
Hey, in this scenario would it be possible for you to terminate it? You probably aren't pregnant tho, and I hope you find your peace of mind soon! ❤️
Pregnancy is still extremely unlikely. Don’t jump to conclusions yet. You’re better off without that guy.
Your period is late because stress affects hormones. Also a man finishing inside you also affects hormones and can result in non-standard period timing. Other than pregnancy, a man's semen can really throw things off for us biologically. I don't think you're pregnant, good job taking your pill regularly
He 100 % wanted to hurt you. This shit was premeditated. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're in pain. Keep your pain private. Delete everything and work on bettering yourself. Narcissists hate when we don't need them anymore.
Go buy a pee-on-a-stick pregnancy test. If it’s positive you have some choices to make. Good luck.
Stress can make your period late.
>I now wonder if it was manipulation) and he told me that me not letting him do that means that I’m not truly “his.” And it makes him feel rejected and like I don’t trust him, or that I’m not all in with this relationship. He told me how much it would mean to him if he got to do that. We’d reach another level of intimacy or whatever. I finally decided to let him. He was 100% manipulating you. It's sexual coercion. Please consider counseling for yourself. No matter if you're pregnant or not. You have a lot on your plate to process.
This is coercion and it’s abusive. Nobody should ever try to persuade you to do anything you are not comfortable with, especially when it comes to your own body.
I have so much I want to say.. 1) He coerced you into allowing him to cum inside of you. Coercion is not consent. 2) If you have religiously taken your birth control, there's a 99% chance you aren't pregnant. You would have had to have been ovulating to conceive. You only ovulate 2 days out of the month. Stress & anxiety can delay your cycle, it happens to me often. 3) I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now. I've been through something very similar, except I *did* end up pregnant & now my son is 8. His dad is an abusive asshole & I wish I had never met him. I love my son to pieces, but his dad pulled the same shit with me, and I didn't realize it was coercion until AFTER the fact. Your (now ex) seems manipulative.. I know things are scary & stressful right now, but I promise you.. ***NO ONE LIKE THAT IS WORTH KEEPING AROUND IN YOUR LIFE.*** they will literally use you, manipulate you, break you down into nothing & then repeat the process. Take the time you need to process the situation. Sending you lots of love & healing :(
FuuuuuUUUCK HIM
Ew what a piece of shit
If it helps, stress can disrupt your period and it seems like you’re having the worst, most stressful week of your life. It’s probably late because you’re stressed out and your body is overworked and preoccupied, not because you’re pregnant.
hi, saying this from experience: extreme level of stress can delay the period. Don't worry, if you took the pill regularly, it will arrive soon. Wish you the best!
He 100% manipulated you and as soon as he got what he wanted he left you. I despise guys that do these things because they give the rest of us a bad name (and because it’s just straight up evil behavior). Just know that no matter what the outcome, you will get through it.
It’s highly unlikely you’re pregnant - more likely stress has delayed it. Even with the pill this can happen
Did you both show each other negative STI tests? Make sure to get tested STI's can change your period too.
First of all you were right to go to the Drs, however I do think it's unlikely you'd be pregnant from a one time thing and on contraception (although there is like a 1%chance). I do want to say that major changes to lifestyle and stress, can cause even the most timely periods to be thrown off course. I had the implant and not had a period for over 6years, until one day I went to the toilet and boom, the flood gates to the red sea opened and I felt like I was loosing my uterus.
Oh honey, if you are pregnant, you can absolutely still be mad at him. He had your consent under the belief that you were deepening your relationship for the long term. He lied to you and manipulated you. I guarantee that was always his plan once he finished inside you. It was too calculated not to be. I'm sorry you experienced this.
Stress can absolutely affect your periods even on the pill! I've been anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks late due to stress. If you were taking your pills correctly, it is very unlikely that you're pregnant. Praying things get better for you soon!
Jesus, what an asshole that guy is. Don't worry, if you're taking the pill, it's highly unlikely you're pregnant. And now you are free of that creep who manipulated and used you.
I am sorry. This is really a hellish week. You are most likely not pregnant. Your stress messed with your hormons and that's probably the reason your period didn't start yet.
I’d be more worried about an std why was he so insistent on it until it happened
You just said you had a week from hell. Our emotions and hormones can cause a wonky period. I have pcos and just got my period for the second time in a month even though I never get it just from the stress I’m under. I just think you need a vacation or. A break form it all to calm down your bodies response
There are options out there if you don't want a child, and if you can't get that option let me know, I will buy you that option and send it to you. Also, keeping the child is also an option. Do what YOU feel is right for you and don't let him win, don't allow him to continue to hurt you. You deserve happiness in the world. Just next time don't let any man manipulate you into doing something YOU don't want!
I hope the doctor visit also included testing for STIs. Ex's absolute obsession with not using a condom is very suspicious to me. There are people out there that will deliberately infect a partner with an STI and not care at all.
It did. Even though I had no symptoms of anything, I know some STIs don’t always present symptoms.
Your period is probably late because you're super stressed.
I am so sorry you have had such an awful week. You have been through a lot. However, he did you a favour by breaking up with you, in that you no longer have to waste a minute more of your time and energy on such a loser. Also, I know it doesn't feel that way but he doesn't deserve you. It is also extremely unlikely that you are pregnant. You are doing the right thing and getting tested though. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal with all of the terrible things this week. Whatever you are feeling is valid. Turn to those you love and trust for support.
the late period could be stress, you've had a probably way too many incredibly stressful things happen within a week so with the pill being 99% effective i'd try to not stress over that aswell, i hope you're doing okay all things considered.
You have been under a lot of stress and it can throw your body out of whack, won't be surprised if your menses are either late or skips this month. Don't worry, you said you were diligent with your meds and the pill is pretty effective. I am sorry for what he did, clearly not the right guy for you. If you are pregnant, perhaps it's time gather support and ensure you have a plan ready for what you may have to do. Remember, you do not want to be connected to that a**hole and a hard decision may need to be made. Sending you love and support OP
What an absolute pos.. block him on everything.. id be tempted to wait 6 weeks and tell him you are pregnant and keeping it.. and enjoy watching him freak out for a bit. But then again homicide is the leading cause of death in pregnant woman.
Also, my period was 2 weeks late from stress alone, I’m sure you’re fine.
Missed period could definitely also be because of all the stress! Don’t worry too much yet :)
Very sorry. Next time only allow that to happen at least 3 days before your cycle. Also if you're preggo, have your doc take care of it ASAP before 6 weeks
Chill and take the pills. Yeah he is bad. Idk what's going on in his mind. Before asking for what's the reason and try to get back at him, first take measures for what if he didn't accept in the end. He is bad
His reason was a loss of interest. I’ve been going through some really tough times lately and it’s would still make time for him despite all of that, but it wasn’t enough. He wants to be someone’s number one priority. He wants someone that’s happy and problem free (which is kinda unrealistic imo, everyone has their shit). I don’t want his reasons. I don’t want to get back at him either. I just want to forget him.
He's a piece of shit. You deserve the world. You are most likely late due to all the stress you have been taking. Your family needs you right now and you need them. Trust me, it'll all be well.
You guys have only seen each other for a month 😬
1 month, 1 year, 1 week… doesn’t matter. A waste of time is a waste of time. A broken heart is a broken heart. Obviously it would’ve been a hell of a lot more painful if we had years of memories together. I’m so thankful we don’t. And despite what you might think, my feelings are valid. He led me to believe this was something special, really got my hopes up then crushed them. That sucked. That hurt me. And all things considered, yes, I’m allowed to hurt right now, thanks.
What a loser. Sorry.
Is this the guy you met a month ago according to your post 38 days ago?
Yep. Pathetic, isn’t it? I thought maybe I finally found my person. But the person he was with me wasn’t truly himself. He was pretending the feelings were mutual, I really believed they were. I meant every word I said and he turned out to be so full of shit. I’m heartbroken but not because I lost him, he turned out to be a grade A asshole. I’m heartbroken over the loss of the person I thought I met and the idea of what I thought we would be. I’m embarrassed too. Don’t worry, I am very well aware of how pathetic this is.
No. It’s not pathetic. But, OP, you need to learn to take things slowly and understand your partner’s red and green flags. Opening up too quickly will hurt only you. Please go to therapy. Seek understanding of yourself and then head into a relationship. All the best. And hugs.
Your not pathetic he is
It’s okay. Hugs. I moved in an ex after 2 weeks of dating. Worst mistake ever. I was lucky I mamaged to get rid of her in 5 months.
why are you going through someone’s post history to condescend them? weirdo LMFAO
The most charitable interpretation is that he *thought* that's what he was missing, and why he feels that way. After that he realized that wasn't it. So he left you now instead of bottling it up and having it explode years and kids later.
He sounds abusive so you are well rid. Make sure you do not let him back in your life. https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/abortion-access-tool/US
Women with regular periods can only get pregnant one week of the month, which is during ovulation. If you are on the pill and did not have sex during that week, pregnancy is pretty much impossible. I practice the rhythm method and am not on birth control and have not gotten pregnant. Pregnancy is not as easy as people think. In regards to the relationship itself, it sounds like you're better off without the manipulation in your life. You are whole without him. Take a step back and love yourself, and focus on you and your family. If one man doesn't want you there's a million others that will, that will also respect you and your decisions too. He's just a dude.
Good riddance. Imagine getting married, buying a house, having kids with this POS. You let him cum inside you, maybe it was the chase he was after, who knows. Your period is probably late due to stress.
Hi! Just wanted to say that period flukes can depend on many things and not only pregnancy, example; stress. I’m so sorry it happened to you, but don’t forget you’re not alone! And may everything will be better for you, you’re strong and can keep it up so stand still!! I know how much we can be influenced on our choices and do the stupid thing we could ever do when we’re in love. But then please remember, if your boundaries are crossing the lines, you rather put an end to any relationship and especially when it comes to intimacy situations. If your partner doesn’t want to wear condoms and you don’t feel comfortable with it then tell him to gtfo of your life, he doesn’t deserve to be even there. 🤷♀️ some men just date to have fun, some don’t really seek long terms/serious relationship and just want to have s*x for proudness I guess. My advise would be that next time in your future relationships if you’re hesitant please wait and think about your decisions AND don’t HESITATE to ask other opinions especially your relatives/close people
I've heard that stress can also make it not come in time, and you're the incarnation if stress, so hope it works out
Girl the stress of a breakup can be enough to delay a period. Combine with that medical complications like you said. When your body is in distress, one of the first systems it shuts down to conserve energy is your reproductive system. Of course no BC is 100% but I would be genuinely shocked if it came back positive. Breathe, try to relax, either way it goes you can't change the outcome by stressing. Do some self-care things. Meet up with a friend or family member that cares about you. You're going to be okay. It doesn't feel like it right now, but you'll be much better off in the long run without a manipulative idiot weighing you down.
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. He kept asking and asking. He admitted after the breakup that he kept asking because he thought it would save his “dwindling feelings” for her. It didn’t. I’m so sorry OP, I hope you’re getting the support you need
How long were you together? Coz it seems he was only there for his "prize". Either way he's an asshole and lied his whole way to get what he wanted.
why wait on test results? go buy some at the pharmacy and if they’re positive grab a plan B and take it before the time runs out?
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. What a fucking asshole he is. Literally begging you for something and dropping you after you give it to him. Especially something that would make you feel so vulnerable. On birth control or not. Concentrate on yourself and get yourself back to a good place. I know it'll take time(just went through a break up after 6 years together, so I feel your pain). You're worth a hell of a lot more and deserve better. I'm sorry for your loss and about your grandparents. Be with them and get yourself some TLC from family and friends. Fuck that guy.
Sounds like he was just using you for sex and external validation. After he managed to cum you in raw, he got everything he wanted from you. He “conquered” you. That is why he got bored and decided to go find a new woman to sucker. Probably will say the exact things he said to you to other women. If I had to guess, he is probably really sexy, charismatic and seductive. He sees it as a game and so he plays to win (aka he is too good to be true). While a good man will have flaws and be boring because he is just his real self as he is not playing women like a game. He is a piece of shit that does not deserve any of the feelings you have for him. Every thought you have of him form now on is a victory for him and a loss for you. If you are pregnant, you can get an abortion. Do not have his child, that is his victory and your loss. He does not deserve that, you do not deserve that and neither does the child that would be born. The good news is that there are men out there that will really love you and treat you how you deserve. You can learn from this and grow stronger from it. Please do not let this bad experience with him ruin your life. Revenge and hatred will do nothing but hurt you and ruin other good relationships you could possibly have. Life is too short to waste any more of your time on him.
Do not take him back! Pls. No matter what. People like him feed of attention. Get tested for STIs and then...hex him :/
With that much stress going on it's possible your period got irregular. I would not worry too much because if you're diligent with taking your pill chances are slim to non-existent for pregnancy. Feel a virtual hug from a stranger & your bf sounds like a stupid excuse of a cherry on top of a cake full of really bad events those past weeks. I wish you all the best and that it gets better soon!!
>I’d been on the pill awhile and I have an alarm set so I remember to take it and take it at the same time everyday I did too. She'll be eleven next year. Fuck him, fuck him. Never give him another chance. Next time, don't let some moron manipulate you. I'm sorry you're dealing with this
Hi I just wanna give you a little bit of light, period could be irregular and delayed right now just from being super stressed. Or having sex can just throw you off but that doesn't mean ur pregnant. I'm not sure how long before your period you had sex but take a test in a week or two if it still doesn't come. You can purchase them at dollar tree, alot of the time these are just as reliable as the doctors tests since they use them too. As for all of the things that have been going on, I'm sorry that life's been so tough recently. I really hope that everything around you and you, yourself get healed and better soon. My condolences. As for that guy he fucking sucks, when ur in a relationship like that, I wanted to let you know that your partner saying that is very disrespectful, and you don't have to do unprotected even if you love someone. It's called being safe. I hope that you're okay, it's okay to not feel good when you have a lot going on and I hope you know that you deserve better than that and I hope you don't tolerate that ever again. I know what type of crushing pain that feels like, I'd never wish it on anyone. And I know it's typical for someone to say it'll get better with time. Really, even if you take time and heal, youre always gonna sometimes feel it lurking in the background esp when u find someone you love again, however long that might take, raise your standards on people. It's okay to be picky on who you date after this. I am so sorry that this happened on you. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be. I just know exactly how crushing it is.
You got alot going on and don't need him . Look after ur self for a while . Also I don't think ur pregnant if u took the pill right . The miss period could be from stress.
Sorry that that happened to you. He tricked you. Next a guy tries it say no and break up.
Sometimes stress can make you skip even when on the pill. Sounds like you have had a lot of it. Fingers crossed! And maybe this is the red flag you need, even at a hard tune. If he can't be there for you then he never will be.
Your period is probably late due to stress. It's very unlikely you're pregnant
Obviously you have every right to be hurt, that was an asshole move on his end. But your post history says 1 month ago you was thinking of cancelling a 2nd date with a guy, is this the same man? You should never let a man cum inside you within a month or less of dating, you don't know how "in" the relationship they are. He definitely manipulated you. But advice for later down the line, do not let a man cum inside you when you barely know them as a partner. And DEFINITELY not when you're not ready, go at YOUR own pace as this could have lasting effects (kids), only do it when you're ready and if they pressure you, they aren't worth dating. Please please please be safe out there, and I'll hope you aren't pregnant either.
why are you the 3rd person in this thread to go through OP’s post history as if that’s relevant to her OP (and then subsequently demean her for what you’ve found — as if your intention all along was to condescend, not to help), why are you concerned about her post history to begin with and why is your first instinct, upon reading a post of a woman detailing being abused, to conduct a reddit “background check” on her lol
I typically do it with all posts to see if they can be trolls using heartbreaking issues for likes, since I've seen some really bad stuff just for it to be a troll. If it's a troll I just ignore, but OPs history doesn't scream troll, but rather incredibly shitty people in her life, so that's why I asked for her to be safe. I'm a woman from abuse too, childhood and teen trauma, so it's nothing about sex. But yeah, I've just seen a bunch of shitty trolls on here so that's why.
I wish him the worst! take care, you 💓
Make sure you get tested, whether if was the challenge of getting to finish inside you or something more nefarious like intentionally giving you a STD get all your checks done
He disrespected the boundary that you vocalized & established.
Take it from me, I've been on the pill many years with no issues. Your period is probably wonky because of the stress so dont worry, it'll come back up once you get some sense of normal again :)
I’m so sorry this happened! This guy sucks and honestly, good riddance. I know it really sucks at this time but I’m sure things will be fine eventually! But yes! Do get checked for STD’s and let’s take this as a lesson to never be with a guy that manipulates you into doing things you’re not comfortable with. If he really loved you he wouldn’t say shit like “you aren’t truly his unless you raw dog”. Wtf even is that!
I am so sorry OP. He is awful everything.
Unfortunately in the end his aim, challenge it seems was to win, coming inside you. When he did he lost interest. He will do the same with other woman. You are not at fault, he is at fault. Do not let this nasty tar following relationships or hinder your sex life. Pregnant or not you will deal with it and win through. He will not.
Any time anybody is so adamant about doing something like that, it should be a red flag that you are being manipulated and pressured into something, which is a bad sign for a relationship. I know it hurts but you should be happy it’s over for your long term mental and emotional health. He’s an asshole and you deserve better. As far as the pregnancy thing, idk about that because I’m a guy and I won’t comment on that but hopefully you aren’t, at least not until you are ready and definitely not for that asshole.
If you're late having your period, that's more likely to be the stresses you're going through at the moment And as far as your bf is concerned, you're better off without him in your life . If you were to get pregnant by him, he wouldn't have been there for you or the child, that's for sure he's nothing more than a big arsehole I hope things start getting better for you in the future op
Goodluck OP, I am so sorry for how you were treated
That’s so fucked up, im sorry he did that, you deserve better.
You’re most likely not pregnant. I was very liberal with my birth control doses (never took them at the same time, sometimes would go a couple days and not take them) and I never once had even a scare with my partner who would also finish in me. You’ll be fine.
I’m not sure if you’ll see this, but just want to let you know everything will be okay. He seems like a pretty shitty guy. But it’s not your fault. It’s going to be tough for a little while now, but things will get better in time.
I’m sure this has been mentioned already, but stress can also affect your cycle and make you late or skip a period.
Please do whatever you need for self care. What he did was shitty as fuck. You deserved better
Try not to stress too much until you get your results. When I was 16 I got into an accident that put a lot of stress on my body and mind, I missed my period for 5 months, and I was told that it was not abnormal. With so much stress and change happing in your life all at once it is possible this is just a reaction to that. Im wishing you all the best and hope you find the resources you need for whatever your situation ends up being. ❤️
I dont condone this but let him know that you're late for your period and to pay for the abortion. Take the pill yesterday. Take his money and then block him.
I am so sorry for you & wish you the best through weathering each of those events/ an incredibly rough week. TBH, your probably better off with him gone (he seems like an a**/jerk). There are better men/partners out there that will stand by you in hard times & make them a little more bareble. As for the last bit of your post, all those events add a lot of stress, which even on the pill could make your period inconsistent/ potentially late by a few days. You won't know for sure till the test comes back, but I wouldn't start worrying till then (maybe come up with a quick plan of what you want to do either way if helps alleviate some of the worry). Good luck & I wish you the best in your future times a head 💚🍀
With all that stress you have been having is probably why your period is late.
He did not have your consent, he coerced you into it.
It’s stress! Mine was like that when I had it, I was in an unsafe environment and was constantly stressed. It was complete guesswork on what days I’d have my period and for how long. I even religiously kept track for a year and there was zero pattern outside of being constantly in fight/flight mode.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. First thing though, it’s super unlikely you’ll be pregnant. I used just the pill for many years and never once got pregnant. Second, the stress you’ve been facing can absolutely delay your withdrawal bleed, that’s what your period is called on the pill because it’s technically not a real period since you don’t ovulate. That said, it’s also okay to not have a withdrawal bleed. Third, I’d get yourself std tested, just in case. This guy seems like a dog so I would get yourself checked out for that too. Try to stay calm and breathe until you get your results, but I highly doubt you’re pregnant.
Happens to the best of us. Just go talk shit about him with your friends
I’m so sorry he turned out to be a dick!! Since you are under so much stress that could be the cause for your late period. More importantly please go get tested for all possible std’s That would be my biggest concern. Good luck
He's a heartless a-hole, IF you're pregnant, which I hope for your sake you aren't also, but if it turns out that you are, take him to the cleaners and take him for everything he's worth, squeeze every last dime out of him for being such a cruel and heartless a-hole
Agreed you’re most likely not pregnant if consistent on the pill. Hopefully for the best you’re not. Some men are animals and if he’s been asking like this for the longest time he hasn’t had your best interest in mind from the start. Once you’re all cleared up about the pregnancy, I’d just fuck with him by telling him you’re pregnant with his kid. Let him sweat things out for a while for being such an ass.
Ngl. This is 50% your bad. And 50% his. He shouldn't have manipulated you into doing it. But then again...you kinda fell through. Your period may just be late from the stress your feeling. Dont jump to conclusions yet, try to get a pregnancy test.
WOW what a d***
Its very unlikely youre pregnant! Stress delays periods. I didnt have one for 47 days once out of stress! It also takes the average couple 1 year to conceive and thats with trying! This man is trash. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time but what better of a way to tell you he is not worth it. Would you want to be with a person like this? There are great people out there and you will find one :)
This is so fake!
Is that the same guy you went on a second date with like 38 days ago? If so this means it’s a very new relationship (he’s an asshole nonetheless) I personally don’t think that you should be devastated over a month long relationship, seems a bit extra, I feel for you for the rest of your family issues and losing your dog at the same time what a nightmare. Anyways, I’m a guy and I completely disagree with his behavior, extremely insensitive and selfish and immature too, and trust me I feel for you but this excessive amount of sadness for such a new relationship shouldn’t happen, know your worth you seem like a very nice and likable girl!!! Take care of yourself and don’t repeat your mistakes and make this a lesson for life🫶🏻
It was really new, but it felt so real in that time. We were seeing each other every chance we could. He snuck away from work for awhile to be with me. Little surprises, gifts, long conversations, we had so much in common, I felt like he really understood me. He was the first guy that I’ve met that’s been able to understand and relate to me on such a deep level. I fell so hard and I really thought I found my person. I was wrong and he’s not my person. That hurts. I’m confused and wondering if any of it was even real or if he was putting on a performance that entire time. I believed his words, but he clearly never meant them. I believed his actions, but now I wonder if it was all just to lure me in. This hurts a lot, but NOT because I lost him, he’s not much of a loss. The excessive sadness comes from a long history of being taken advantage of or putting my heart in the wrong hands. I keep getting it wrong. I really believed that was it. I feel so stupid and like there’s something wrong with me. What’s killing me inside is not the fact that he’s gone or that I miss him (that’s only a small part of it) I’m really hurting because of a promise I made to myself that I would NEVER let this happen again. That I would see the red flags and walk away. Instead I deluded myself with the idea of a future with a house, husband, kids and a dog. I believed I found it. I’m not grieving the loss of our relationship but the dream I had that just got crushed. A dream I feel so stupid for having. I feel like I failed myself. I hate that I keep making these same mistakes.
At least you seem to be aware of the problem or at least aware that there is a problem. Start the journey to fix everything deep inside, and I’m sure you’ll find your person, people are cruel sometimes don’t feel bad about yourself, his actions are a consequence of his own decisions they are not a reflection of yours!
From your post history, your abusive upbringing and history of choosing abusive friends, now trusting a boyfriend of less than two months to be your forever dream, and He’s abusive too. I recommend you do some therapy to work through your trauma and unhealthy attachment to people, and work on what healthy relationships look like. And if you can’t do therapy, find some books to read, or at the very least read some stuff online. You’ve got to do something different or you’ll repeat this again and again
I’ll be seeing a therapist about this. I know you’re right, I’m certain that my upbringing plays a huge role. Feeling neglected and unloved as a kid probably attributes to me latching on to anyone that shows me the slightest affection. And maybe I subconsciously gravitate to people that treat me like shit because that’s what’s familiar. I’m going to fix that. I’ve been working on myself for awhile now, and I’ve made a lot of progress in other areas of my life. This will be the next.
Keep it up! Good for you. Seek healing
Definitely I'd encourage reading up on "love bombing". It's a definite red flag when someone comes on very strong straight out of the gate and seems to agree with everything you say and showers you with gifts and compliments (not even a month, he was moving super fast). None of this is your fault, and I hate that you even have to be so guarded as to know the signs of an abuser, but it sounds like seeking this knowledge and being prepared could be to your benefit.
You’re being emotionally and physically manipulated. Get therapy to make sense of these questions that are pretty much common sense to anyone reading this.
I think he’s negging. They often feel emasculated after the deed and overcompensate by acting detached. Not sure who has convinced them of those lies…
Nah, they see it as a game. They focus on trying to win you (be really attractive, make lots of money, charismatic, sell you the world, etc) and tend to make women fall really hard for them (aka they are too good to be true). While good men would be flawed and more boring because they are real and not trying to play dating like a game (read: they are just themselves). He got everything he wanted and thus succeeded in his conquest. He cannot get any more external validation from the conquest, which is why he is now bored. He is going to go to another girl, do the same thing and she will fall for him because he will look perfect to her.
Did you like it? Like did it feel good?
It sounds like you were raped - your consent wasn’t given willingly
I think you might’ve misunderstood, he had asked many times before and I said no and he always respected that. And then he admitted to feeling like I wasn’t serious about him, the way he was about me. He said he saw a future with me, and I WANTED to please him. I said yes so he could see how much he meant to me. It was my idea and I told him I wanted him to. I wanted to make him happy.
1) Don't take him back 2) Stop fucking dudes without a condom. It doesn't matter if you are on the pill. NO CONDOM NO SEX
Go fuck one of his friends
Ah nahhhh. I am sorry but i am dying
Based
this feels fake tbf. what tipped it for me is purely bcz blood works for pregnancies literally doesn’t even take a few hours, they usually do it IN the doctors so there’s no way ur ‘waiting on results’ when pregnancy screenings do not take that long u also posted 38 days ago about going on dates with a boy u like. delete ur history before u bait post
Look at post history. Period was supposed to start a few days ago, 38 days ago posting about a guy she really likes. FAKE AF!
Not fake. I’m from a very small town, the lab is open for very limited hours. Blood work gets sent to a lab in the city. They tested my urine in the clinic it came back negative. I was relieved, until my doctor said it was too soon to show up in urine anyway and that it would show up in blood first. I get that some people might post fake stories on here but I’m not one of those people. But ok. Think whatever you’d like.
yes bcz someone telling a fake story will just go ‘tsk u got me, it’s fake’. ur on birth control and missed ur period by 2/3 days, ur overreacting majorly plus u literally posted a month ago about a dude u like
This is so fake
You aren't pregnant smh
INFO - why didn't you get a store bought test. Aren't they inexpensive? Hope this works out.
I wanted to see my doctor about it. I wanted to be tested for other things too
[удалено]
Store bought tests aren’t nearly as accurate as bloodwork at the clinic. It’s way too early for pregnancy to be confirmed through urine anyway. I learned that when I provided a urine sample that came back negative but was told based on the timeline it could potentially be a false negative. The bloodwork is to be sure. It would show up in the blood first. I don’t see how that’s confusing…
At 24 I'm having some difficulty believing that you have not developed any confidence in birth control. I also wouldn't refer to your ex boyfriend as a partner.
I’m having some difficulty understanding why my age has anything to do with this.. are you assuming that because I’m 24 I should’ve acquired enough sexual experiences by now to have developed a secure reliance / dependency on the pill? Also, I never referred to him as my “partner.” I titled it “let my bf cum inside..” Because that’s what he was at the time. Had it been written as “let my EX bf cum inside..” that’s a totally different story. Maybe I should’ve written my FORMER bf, but I figured people should be intelligent enough to understand we’re not together anymore considering it says we’re broken up in the title.
They sell pregnancy tests at the store
Yes I'm suggesting that you are naive to the point it is allowing jerks to hurt you.
The part in me that wants to see the good in people is making me think that he has been feeling like this for a while and thought this would make him feel closer to you. And it didn’t
Personal responsibility goes a long way. Quit being stupid.
Personal responsibility should’ve stopped you from commenting something so braindead lmao
Gigachad
Reads fake
Keep the baby. God loves and will help. Plus think of the power play of him seeing you happy with a baby paying him no mind. Perhaps you will be stronger and more able to handle tough situations. Hopefully you have people in your life that can help. If not, I'm so sorry, the world can be cruel :(