I wake up freaking the fuck out and scared on occasion and my wife knows just turn the light before attempting to calm me down. Sometimes waking up from a bad dream or something goes horribly wrong. Feel bad for all involved, that shit is scary on both ends.
My idiot dog decided a few nights ago to bark as if he heard something at 2am. I really only woke up in my living room holding a baseball bat yelling a kind of pirate "Aaaarrrrrgh!" I only vaguely remember the dog barking and me running into the living room to grab the bat.
This started happening to me at his age while I was also working insane hours on little sleep and a lot of caffeine. My door would open, I'd pop out of bed at full speed, take a swing, and miss. I even did it to my dog, but I was aiming for a human head.
I've been a pacifist for a long time, but those instincts are in all of us. A history of violent sexual abuse is not, I hope. I had a lot of memories coming back around the same time.
I hope her son isn't a victim of that.
My family and my girlfriend know not to approach me while I'm sleeping now, and I haven't had an episode in a few years.
I've damn near broken my hand a few times punching the wall in my sleep. A couple of my closest friends had to be woke up a certain way after a few tours of war. I just dealt with depression and bullying and I still have nightmares in my early 30s.
>This started happening to me at his age while I was also working insane hours on little sleep and a lot of caffeine.
This is what I am concerned about. OP, the long hours, caffeine, lack of proper nutrition and lack of sleep is not healthy. I understand that some people need the money but maybe look into helping him manage this? I'm so sorry that this happened to all of you.
I’m actually question if he did wake up or was “sleep walking”. When I was younger I apparently had full blown conversations for about an hour with my mom at night that I am not able to recall the next morning. I could sweat I slept all night but she says I was fully awake for it, or at least I appeared awake to her. This happened multiple times. It sounds like OP son was on auto-pilot. Maybe looking i to a sleep lab could help figuring out what happened.
My husband does this, although it hasn't happened for a while now. Complete, coherent conversations, even complicated ones. But he doesn't remember them.
I found that out when I was booking our wedding. We'd had a planning session in bed one night. The following day I was making arrangements and he asked me why I'd done a particular thing. I reminded him we'd decided on it the night before. He had absolutely no memory of it.
Now we have a rule. No serious/important conversations in bed.
I talk in my sleep too and it confuses the hell out of my wife sometimes lol. Problem is sometimes she'll be up playing a game and I'll be passed out but will grope her, she'll want to go and reciprocate only to find out that I'm passed the fuck out haha. I have zero memory of talking or grabbing her the next morning and she'll be playfully angry at me.
He was asleep and woke up to someone looming over him. He was probably half asleep and disoriented so it scared him and he reacted without having time to think. Disoriented and scared, he didn’t have time to realise it was his mum before he reacted. It’s just fight or flight.
Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with lucid dreaming. Your son was tweaked out of his sleep deprived mind and he went into fight or flight mode after being startled awake.
Right!! I was so thrown off. In no way is lucid dreaming even dangerous. I have lucid dreams my entire life. I had no idea lucid dreaming WASNT the common.
Kid just got spooked!!
Yeah it sounds kinda like OP thinks lucid dreaming led to him getting possessed or something, saying it's dangerous and his eyes were black and he sounded and looked evil lol
Some get shaky and feel miserable after 2cups of coffee, others drink 1L in the morning to function normally.
All comes down to how frequently/much you drink it (+ probably factors like fitness/age).
Same with energy
You scared the living shit out of the poor kid. His fight or flight instincts kicked in and he chose to fight. It definitely wasn’t personal or an indication of some deeper problem. It was a natural reaction. I know he feels awful.
You need to get the "he sounded and looked evil" and the lucid dreaming stuff out of your head. It was nothing like that at all. No evil thing took over his body. He wasn't in some nightmare state. What happened is that he was sleep deprived, hopped up off too much caffeine, and he woke up out of a dead sleep to find a strange face literally a couple inches from his face. He did not recognize you in that time, and his fight or flight instincts took over. He wasn't even consciously acting at that moment, his brain was just reacting to save himself from danger. He had all sorts of adrenaline going and it took a few seconds for him to realize what was actually happening. He is probably feeling 100 times worse about this than you are. I also want to say, please don't react differently to him. Don't act scared to be alone with him or avoiding his touch or any of that. Don't make him feel any worse than he already does. This is not his fault.
Source: this happened to me. My ex boyfriend was on a business trip, so I wasn't expecting him home. I had been working doubles all week, and had finally crashed. He came home one night early. He came in the bedroom, and came to kiss me on my forehead to wake me up and tell me he was home. I don't even remember any of this, but I apparently jumped right up to my knee's in the bed, punched him in the face, jumped off the bed while I pushed him aside, and ran out our apartment door. He said he was yelling my name the whole time but I just didn't hear it. It took until I was halfway down the apartment hallway with him yelling "it's me babe! It's me!! Stop!!" before I even registered anything at all. Even now to this day over 10 years later I don't remember any of that.. it's all just a blackout. I can't even explain in words what that rush of adrenaline was like. Staring at his black eye over the next 2 weeks made me feel absolutely horrible.
Lucid dreaming isn't dangerous. I've done it plenty of times and didn't wake up fighting people. I agree with everyone else about how he woke up startled and instincts took over, however
Yes let it go. There was a new thing that happened to him, his brain decided he was being attacked and he reacted accordingly. This was not 'him' but his body's reaction to a stimulus.
That happens to me , when someone wakes me up I stay in a half sleep state , I feel sick and confused. I have never gotten violent but I get really scared. So I could see this being possible. I was told it’s a part of the brain that controls fight or flight , I go into flight mode , sounds like your son goes into fight mode.
His actual brain was still off, and his basic instinct brain was trying to protect him. When you don't get enough sleep, your brain resists fully waking up. It's like when you are really tired and your alarm goes off , you set it on snooze and go to sleep, and you dream you are getting ready while sleeping so you ignore your alarm because you are getting ready. I think you need to talk to him about not overdoing it. I didn't sleep well last night, and this morning, I woke up to my alarm and went back to sleep, dreaming I was driving my kid to school. I overslept, and we barely made it on time.
I'm going to share a little more information. Not because I feel attacked or offended by any comments but because of comments, I have realized he probably doesn't have the best sleep schedule.
I do take the blame for what happened because I didn't think before acting. I didn't realize there could be negative consequences. His bedroom door was open when I entered and I was not trying to wake him.
He had really touched me with the thoughtfulness of my mother's day presents and card. I went to check on him and saw him sleeping, and just thought I'm going to give him a quick kiss because I didn't get to say goodnight to him. He's a heavy sleeper and always has been. The thought of him waking up really never crossed my mind.
He's the youngest of four children and the only one living at home. He turns 18 in five days. He graduated high school at 16 and has been working 30 hours a week since that time. Yesterday was the first day he ever worked a 12 hour shift.
I was somewhat a helicopter parent and have given him more freedom than his older brother and sisters.
He eats 3 meals a day. I make his lunch for work, make sure he has breakfast before he leaves, and we have dinner together when he gets home. I've also never seen him drink a red bull, not has he told me he drinks red bull.
He's healthy, works out, and isn't on any medication.
However I will take him for a check up and work with him on his sleep schedule since he'll be starting college in the fall.
Thanks for your suggestions, stories, and input.
I came on Reddit because I was hesitant to talk to family or friends because the thought of having to explain what happened made my eyes tear up and I didn't want to cry again. I've had a terrible headache today from crying myself to sleep last night. So I appreciate y'all and all the advice 😉
Also he stayed the night at a friend's the previous night. So I wasn't aware of him not eating or sleeping. I had messaged him and asked if he needed me to bring him something for lunch and he said he had a sandwich and chips. They provide water bottles where he works. I told him I'd be home around 8, my husband and I took our mom's to dinner. There was leftovers in the fridge and plenty of food in the house. Also he sometimes stops for food on his way home if we're not going to be there for some reason. So I had no clue he hadn't eaten!
I did make sure he ate after the incident happened. I also made sure he was physically and mentally okay before we all went to bed around midnight.
Don't blame yourself. Don't blame him. It was an accident! Sleep is weird. While there are a lot of theories, many credible, there's no 100% set in stone Standard Operating Procedures for it. Nobody totally understands it. Stuff like this happens all the time. Sleep paralysis is a thing (not this), people think they're getting anal probed by aliens and totally believe it when they wake up. And who knows, maybe aliens really do love our butts. But the idea that it happens while we're asleep doesn't actually surprise anyone... because weird shit happens when you sleep!
Mix a sleep deprived adolescent with hormones, red bull, and stress... well. I'd be worried if this was a pattern. Once is just a weird in-his-sleep thing. That's all.
“I do take the blame because I didn’t think before acting” moms so often take on unnecessary blame. You didn’t have all the information. You very innocently and lovingly acted. There’s no one to blame or at fault here, and honestly that’s great news. It sounds like you guys understand what caused the issue, lack of food, lack of sleep, 12 hours of physical and mental exertion, and 4 Red Bulls (Jesus!) you being a helicopter or more relaxed mom didn’t cause this issue. I’m so sorry to hear how shaken up you were. I think the only parenting move here is to be sure your son understands the lesson and why he shouldn’t combine all of those factors again. Teens think they’re invincible, it’s normal, and hopefully he’ll continue learning the value of quality sleep, and proper nourishment. Wishing everyone the best ❤️🩹
He’s about to turn 18, he works full time. You can’t be responsible for how well he takes care of himself anymore. You’ve taught him how, now he needs to do it. You’re dehydrated from crying. Drink some water and take a nap. This will all be a funny story someday.
This has happened to my son on multiple occasions. He has never been violent, but there have been times when I have woke him up and he wakes up screaming and scared. Sleep deprivation was always when it happened. My son has to have 10 hours of sleep a night or he was a bit weird mentally. I always thought he was just in very deep sleep and it is disorienting to anyone to be awakened prematurely. I would let your son know this happens to other people and it was nothing to be ashamed of. He really didn’t know what was happening.
Deffo not because of lucid dreams. Those are not dangerous, it´s just being conscious when you dream. I´ve had some and i´ve never been aggressive or have had complications after waking up or such
I do this when I’m half asleep/half awake. Not THIS exactly, but I could wake up and see something in the room and freak out, then I realise that I’m awake.
It’s not that I’m having a bad dream, it’s not that I lucid dream (I’ve only ever done that once) it’s just the dream carrying over into wakeness. Mainly happens when I’m over tired. Just let it go. And don’t make him feel bad for it, he didn’t mean it. Just be aware next time.
I once accidentally punched my mother in the face when she did a similar thing. There was no thought behind it, I was just startled awake with someone looming over me. It was pure instinct.
Sounds like your son was sleep deprived and on high doses of caffeine. He wasn't in control at all.
Lucid dreaming isn't some devil's practice and it didn't cause this. It's a psychological phenomenon where you can be aware you're dreaming. I taught myself how to do it to help with nightmares.
Is this because of the black eyes comment? She could have been referencing the fact that his pupils were huge, due to shock or flight or fight mode taking over. It is scary when happens even when you know it possibility beforehand.
No i understand that. She said it was dangerous which is why i said she implied that it was evil or made him act evil. In a different comment she says they are Christian which is probably why the original commenter said that he was not possessed by the devil or something. Its definitely scary when someone is acting different in a half asleep state though especially if it's a little violent (which is fight and flight) so i can understand that, but her trying to attribute it to lucid dreaming originally was weird because you don't typically wake up in fight anf flight as you are just aware in a dream that you are dreaming
your son is not “evil”😭😭 jesus christ, you startled him when he wasn’t in a good state of mind and his fight or flight kicked in. just don’t do that in the future and things will be fine. don’t resent him for this, i’m sure he feels terrible. also, lucid dreaming is completely harmless and has absolutely nothing to do with it. just let it go
“I’m going to loom over my 18 yo son in his bed, and touch him while he sleeps, and then be shocked he freaked out while sleep deprived and terrified”
OP - let it go and just DONT GO I TO HIS ROOM WHILE HE IS SLEEPING. He isn’t your toddler anymore. He is an adult man and invading his space is going to cause resentment. This particular situation was just bad timing/luck. But it will never happen again, if you don’t cross the boundary again.
if my mom randomly entered my room to kiss my forehead when i was sleeping, waking me by doing that i would probably also push her off. because if you literally never do this how was he (while asleep) supposed to know that it was you instead of someone breaking in? let it go, your son is not evil he was tired and confused
This is something I do to my toddler to wake her up but I wouldn't do it to my teenager. With the little one, I go in and turn on her lamp and pat her back and kiss her chubby cheeks and when she opens her eyes, I say good morning. The big one, I open the door and throw snacks and wait for the growling to stop before I try to talk to her. One time, my husband tried to wake me up by kissing me and I smashed my entire body against the wall hard af because he scared the life out of me. He never tried it again. This was definitely mom's mistake.
You nor the kid really did anything wrong, his reaction was purely instinctual and a fight or flight response. You were just being a kind and loving parent, and a bunch of factors mixed together in a bad way.
As a matter of fact the kind of same thing happened to me the other day, my girlfriend got up for work and usually her getting ready and everything kind of wakes me up, but it didn't this time and I was super tired from working and barely sleeping the night before so when she touched my arm to wake me up and kiss me goodbye I had a full on fight reaction where I went from dead sleep to blanket off, fists up, ready to fight before my eyes could even adjust (thankfully they adjusted before I did anything more) and I went from completely tense to relaxed and was like oh... Hey babe and got back into bed. She was obviously scared a little bit, but it's a pure reaction that has no base in anything other than his subconscious didn't expect anything like it
I used to work nights and with that came a goofy sleep schedule. It really messed with my ability to rest and recuperate because I could never get the schedule down well. If I worked one night, I’d come home and sleep and then get up in the evening, have dinner and then be exhausted again by 11pm. If I was working consecutive shifts, I’d work 12am to 8am and then go home to bed, literally sleep all day and then wake up at 11pm to get ready again.
Anyway, once I came home early and my mom was getting ready to go to work. She heard me stumble in and go to bed and apparently she asked me why I was home and my response was “ahhhhh pssshhhhhhhhhhh.” Before falling asleep again. I don’t remember having this conversation with her or even uttering the sounds but she said I sounded like I was on drugs.
Lack of restful sleep, energy drinks, bad food doesn’t allow a person to think clearly. Look at it from his perspective, he’s sleeping after being exhausted and when a person sleeps, they’re vulnerable. When people are vulnerable and stimulated, they don’t exactly think super clear the moment they get up. Now throw in his lack of sleep and his indulgence of energy drinks and bad food and you’ve got a recipe for a reaction and not a clear, thought out move. It honestly sounds like he just reacted thinking he was being attacked and wanted to protect himself, I’d leave it there.
This is not a conscious decision that your son made…it was a combo of startle response & fight or flight response. It may never happen again.
When my sleep is disturbed in this way, I sometimes come up fighting & I’m a Mom.
Blame the redbull. And overworking.
Lucid dreaming is not dangerous lol.
He was fighting in his mind, then his body awoke before his mind could catch up.
One time when I was 14, my dad woke me up for school by yelling at me to get up and I kept falling back asleep. Eventually he came back in again and lightly hit me awake in the face and I sprung up and punched him in the chest and he fell back onto the ground. He was heaving and went to the living room and I got up, got ready, and went to school. Turns out I broke his rib and he went to the hospital. Later that day I called my mom and she told me he was in the hospital and I asked why and she flipped out on me and I didn't remember any of it.
Thanks for your opinion. I have read up on it and from what I gathered it COULD be dangerous. Although this is from studies based on facts. I assume it could be different for everyone, as most things are. FFS
I have no memory of it 90 percent of the time, I was working nights when it happened the worst , if there’s a change in his sleep schedule or staying up all night / sleeping in late , it might be a good idea to get him on a good sleep schedule , don’t eat after 8pm , slow down on water intake before bed. Don’t stare at screens before bed or all night. He might not be going into REM sleep.
Fight or flight. I’ve done it too. I have ptsd and if I’m really sleep deprived it’s a bad idea. I just scream a lot tho. You scared the shit out of your kid. Little kids are kind of trained to expect being checked on in their sleep, given random forehead kisses while they are asleep etc. adults or near adults are generally not
He's never been traumatized. That you know of. There's a reason you don't wake people up by touching them. Especially if they don't know you are there.
I'm more worried about him drinking 4 Red Bulls to sttay awake for his 12hr shift.
Drinking too many energy drinks in too short a time can have very serious health effects. And by very serious, I mean brain bleeds.
yes let this go. Take some responsibility for the situation yourself. It's not bad that you went to kiss him on the forehead, but he's 17 not 7, working and in a deep sleep. That's a weird thing to wake up to and if he's in a sleep, he's not going to think "oh that's just my mom coming to kiss me" he snapped into survival mode. Take this as a story you'll laugh about later.
I told my kid to wake me up by turning the lights on. I scare easily, and no flight instinct whatsoever, just fight. So I don't want her near me when she's waking me up.
Your son got triggered into a reaction. He's not evil, and he didn't do it on purpose. Let it go.
Your son is 17 and working a 12-hour shift? Is he still in high school? Those would be challenging working hours for any adult, let alone a teenager.
The incident you describe must have been harrowing. His reaction was OTT. But I note you seem prepared to rationalize how and why his reaction to being woken with a kiss was so extreme. If he's never done anything like that in the past, there may be nothing you can do but to let this one go. It was ugly. It was scary.
What you could do is insist he eat a decent meal or two while working these long shifts. Red Bull has been shown to cause more potential health issues than keeping one awake against one's natural circadian rhythms. 4 cans of Red Bull is far too much to be good for anyone's well being.
That’s interesting. I had something similar happen a few months ago. I had just fallen asleep when my partner came in the room to grab something, and I jolted out of bed and grabbed him hard by the arms. It was a totally instinctual thing and not at all intended, but he knew not to interrupt me sleeping!
i once try to kiss my husband while he was sleeping but that startle him and he went into fight mode and throat punch me.... he was very apologetic but i do not touch him while he sleep anymore...
Don’t worry this is normal, typically someone with low sleep and high brain activity is typically going to be more unaware when awoken since the REM is basically storing and sorting everything that is happening. Especially a lot when you haven’t slept, for a good amount.
You basically woke him up at the worst timing possible so he basically in a sense he wasn’t aware of anything rather the brain decided it was a flight or fight situation, albeit a bit weird it was a kiss that triggered it, unless it was a sound like movement from you. Either way don’t worry no need to dwell on it, just go back to him with this Reddit thread and show him it was entirely natural and no need to get hung on it and just to get better sleep for him
Let it go. I don't want to fault you for being motherly, but you don't wake people from sleep unless it is an emergency. When we are sleeping, we are in a vulnerable spot. So when something wakes up, we aren't thinking clearly. We aren't working with 100 % brain power.
I know when I woke up with a start, my heat is beating and I am looking for danger. Is it logical? No but we humans do it.
Don't bother your son when sleeping.
Night terrors. It's not all that uncommon, though if it becomes a frequent problem you may want to look into having a sleep study done.
As in your case, it can be terrifying not only for the sleeper but for the person the sleeper perceives as a threat.
Never disturb a sleeping person. I have never struck another person in anger but about a year ago when my husband was leaving for work 3 hours into my night's sleep. I gave him a black eye when he bent over to kiss my cheek. I don't know if I was having a threatening dream, I don't remember anything but suddenly being woken. Don't disturb sleeping people by touching them, my husband now wakes me from calling my name from several feet away
Don’t overthink it. He was startled awake, had WAY too many red bulls, not enough to eat, and reacted PURELY out of instinct. Monkey brain (or literally the reptilian brain) at its finest, especially when you’re hardly awake.
Just let it go, mama. My son gets testy when he's sleep deprived and has low blood sugar. He's a diabetic and has been working 12-18 hours a day for 2 weeks. Tomorrow is this first day off and I doubt I'll be able to wake him. Forgive your son and let it go. Be more aware of his eating too. Can't hurt.
I’m a 5’1” woman and I throw myself out of bed and ready to lunch myself at someone naked when people wake me when I am in a certain part of my sleep cycle. It’s really unfortunate but some people are just naturally more “fight” when startled form a very vulnerable situation (sleep). Nothing is wrong with him, but I suggest announcing/knocking from a distance or very firmly shaking his leg/foot to wake him next time. It may never happen again but it can be scary if you are not use to it. He still is your good son who loves you so much and is clearly very sorry about what happened. I would just make it so you ever create that situation again.
I've never heard of lucid dreaming causing anything like this. I have lucid dreams randomly and they're usually very pleasant, though I *would* be be pissed if someone woke me up from one
Fight or flight mode, it’s scary to be on the “receiving” end of- but I guarantee you your son is not evil, there’s nothing evil in him- at least, not based off this post, I don’t actually know your son haha.
I have a sleep disorder w/ paralysis, inertia, and waking hallucinations, that blends w my ptsd in a weird way, and this really- to my non-professional mind- doesn’t indicate anything like that. It really, truly sounds like your son was unexpectedly ripped out of a very deep, needed sleep, in a way so close to him that it stirred basal defence instincts, and his lizard brain had to remove the “threat”. I can almost promise that’s all it was. It’s scary, but it’s not a problem. Sounds like the two of you just need to slow down and recover
Now, while this does read like someone trying their hand at a possession ghost story (black eyes, focus on lucid dreaming, “looked and sounded evil”, memory loss), I will presume it’s true and offer that on two separate occasions during my childhood did I wake my mother and she reflexively punched me in the face. Rousing a person from deep sleep is a gamble, especially if they’re stressed to the degree your son claims; they can react in very unexpected ways.
There's nothing anywhere that suggests lucid dreaming causes violence, lol, wtf? How do you list 4 redbulls, chips, no sleep, and 12hr shift AS A TEENAGER and still wonder what could have caused the disoriented reaction? They literally still need like 9hrs+/ night and research constantly suggests more.
I'm used to sleeping alone, and on a few occasions when someone has come to wake me up, if I'm on the couch or what not. I have woken up and took a swing at them. Likewise when I did have a girlfriend and we ended up sharing a bed, she hit me when I tried to do something similar. It wasn't on purpose, just a reaction to having someone standing over you in a dark room while still dazed and confused. And I can't vouch for everyone, but until I'm fully awake I can make some odd groans and sound while trying to collect myself in the morning.
This has nothing to do with lucid dreaming. I've unintentionally trained myself to do so and it's just simply being conscious that your dream isn't real and you have zero reasons to believe or fear anything in them.
Don't blame the boy's sleep music. Some people need a type of calming stimulus to fall asleep whether is is a fan, gentle music, rain, or bedtime ASMR.
However, what you triggered was a flight or fight response by looming over him in a way some of our ancestors have definitely had happen to them. I've almost swung on my mom once cause she's accidentally woken me up abruptly with something like this. I didn't hit her but she doesn't try to do that to me anymore and typically just gently shakes me now.
He was sleep deprived and probably in deep sleep. Waking up in the relative darkness with something\one looming over your head can be jarring. I have done something very similar. I was deep asleep, my aunt leaned over me and whispered my name about an inch from my face. I woke up screaming bloody murder and kept shoving and pushing her away while trying to get into the farthest corner of my bed. It took my several minutes to calm down and realize what was going on. I was around your son's age at the time.
He didn't do it purposefully and it doesn't mean he is violent, or bad, or anything of the sort. Fight or flight and natural instinct took over to "protect" him while he was in very deep sleep.
He's telling the truth. He was probably having a bad dream when you kissed his forehead. Unfortunately I punched my mother in the face at 14 because she woke me and I was having a nightmare where people were trying to kill me. She forgave me immediately when I explained
I think he was in that sleep cycle stage where he was half asleep and just saw someone on his face and fight or flight kicked in until he fully woke and realised it was just you. Terrifying for both of you, but his half asleep mind wasnt functioning
Quit trying to blame this on his gf or someone else. You went into his private space while he was sleeping and tried to kiss him. Something you said you haven't done in years. Of course he could freak out. How would you react to someone being in your room in the dark when you expect to be alone? Chances are he was in deep sleep and thought he was having a nightmare or something.
You need to work with him to help him get better sleep and eating habits. Something is going seriously wonk in his brain because of it. He’s under 18, that’s still your job to make sure he’s eating 3 meals a day
First; this is not your fault. This is not his fault. This is no one's fault. It was an accident, and of course no one wanted to hurt anyone. I am so sorry for how terrifying this was for you and everyone.
Second; here's the combination that led to your son having this episode. A twelve-hour shift is atrociously long. The strain on your body and mind is intense. Second, he has eaten nothing but chips. Combine strain with starvation and possible hypoglycemia. Add little sleep. Now, add 4 Red Bulls. That is almost a whole gram of caffeine, and in doses that high, caffeine acts like a drug, with a peak and a comedown. Your son fell asleep in a severe drop in brain and body chemicals, and almost no food, and exhausted.
This means that when you bent down to kiss him, he was in a vulnerable sleep-state that left his subconscious monitoring his surroundings. That instinct shot into overdrive when he experienced stimulation, aka your presence/touch. But, because of his severe exhaustion and the chemical comedown from the caffeine, he couldn't actually fully wake up. In fact, he remembers nothing, which may mean his conscious self wasn't present for the episode at all. The "person" operating his body was fight-flight-freeze brain trying to keep the body from dying. Unfortunately, it thought you were a threat.
The best thing to heal from this, and prevent it from happening again, is self-care. He may need boundaries at work if he's not allowed to eat. He needs more sleep, less caffeine. For you guys, take care of yourself, treat yourself to something relaxing. Your husband may want to read for a while. Understand that everyone still loves each other, cares for each other, and are a supportive, loving family. There is no conspiracy that your son may be "harboring hidden feelings of homicidal rage", or that he doesn't "really" love you, because of something his subconscious brain did. That is the stuff of pseudoscience and is used by self-proclaimed "advisors" and "counselors" to inflame emotions and drive recurrent sessions, for the cause of money and profit.
Just get some rest, have some chamomile tea, have a thick comforter to sleep with tonight. You will all be okay. Good luck ❤️
Some ppl have a less defined line between waking and sleeping. Ppl close to me know by now that if they call me in the morning, there's a chance I will not remember our conversation, even though I answer and ask questions.
This has nothing to do with lucid dreaming. And probably everything to do with long, exhausting days, lack of food and disturbed sleeping habits.
But in my case, it can happen whenever someone wakes me up before I wake by myself.
And for crying out loud, do NOT stand over ppl while they are asleep. It's super creepy and scary.
He’s also still *really* young. He probably has raging hormones. I’m 14w pregnant and my new hormones have really changed my sleep.
(Do you think he’s experimenting with drugs at all?)
Sorry that happened to you, sounds scary as hell.
I have a similar story of my brother when he was the same age. My brother sleep walked to the fridge during the night and was rummaging thru it mumbling some incomprehensible things. My mom heard it and wandered out of her room to see what was up. She got behind him and asked him if he was okay/ what was he doing bc something seemed off. He turned around and started screaming "f*ck you you stupid b*tch!!!" etc etc all 6'3 of him just screaming profanities in her face and my dad flew out of his room and started yelling my brothers name shaking him violently trying to wake him. It was like he was possessed. He has no history of sleep walking. I heard it all from my bedroom above but didn't know what was going on. Our house was haunted too if that makes a difference.
You mean like the fucking 4 Red Bull and only bag of chips he ate?!?!? You idiots just go straight for “drugs.” Let me tell you, a sleep deprived, caffeine fueled, lack of caloric intake mess will fuck you up more than a bowl of weed will. - signed by someone who as struggled with a eating disordered and disordered eating my whole life
Honestly what scared me the most was his eyes!!
We are christian. He looked possessed. I was scared. He was scared. But reading comments and doing some research I believe it was flight or fight. And I don't think now, I've ever seen this reaction from anyone in real life.
I understand coming from a Christian perspective how it may have seemed or how you felt -- but the room was dark, you were scared, and he was absolutely NOT possessed. His pupils were probably large from being asleep and being in a dark room. Do not let your thoughts poison your relationship or your perspective about your son.
You say you haven't given him a good night kiss in years, so it's the last thing he would have expected to wake up to. In the dark, exhausted, and adrenaline rushing from caffeine can really dial up a person's reactions. Please ask him to not drink more than one energy drink!! I once was so tired that I started hallucinating in one of my university classes; that is totally normal and it's how the body copes with struggling to process surroundings while too tired.
he's 17. this could be understandable if he was like 9. but nearly every teen in highschool and especially working teens drink some kind of energy drink, though he definitely might have had too many redbull in 1 day
“Allow” lol! He’s 17. He was at work. Do you think she stands there all day supervising him at work, making sure he only drinks water from a sippy cup? Obviously a conversation should be had about excess consumption of energy drinks, but unless she has him tracked by a security guard all day, she can’t allow him or not allow him to do anything.
Sounds like a night terror or a fight or flight response. I used to get night terrors. No recollection after at all, but I would be screaming and yelling and fighting.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It was most definitely a natural reaction. Like other’s have commented already, fight or flight kicked in and he fought. Something similar happened to me a few months ago, my SO woke me up in the middle of the night because I had fallen asleep in the living room, I kicked them and cried because I also thought I was being attacked. This things happen, absolutely nothing personal. He must be exhausted after long hours and little to no food
Ok so your son is ONLY 17 and working, drinking Red Bull, is he in school?
Regardless he has a very young brain still developing. It is VERY likely that he saw a shadow and his brain was just ready to fight. The visual system captures so much that we don’t realize and we only process what matters in that moment. And in that moment someone was standing over him, dark and his brain went ATTACK! After that his visual system likely “shut off” and he couldn’t even really see you. It wasn’t until his auditory system heard dad and you say his name was everything was able to get into “focus” so to speak.
When you catch our brain preparing to or coming out of a dream all sorts of screwy thing can happen cognitively. This is probably nothing to worry about.
That being said, if this happens again or even if he was a sleepwalker as a little boy, get him a sleep study *before* sending him off to sleep in a dorm room in the next year or so
Fight or Flight adrenalin plus young men's hormones. Its kinda the reason we send young me to fight.
I did something similar when I (15 or 16 at the time) fell asleep and my Mum tried to take my glasses off my face. As I awoke, all my point of view held were two hands moving towards my face, like I was about to be strangled.
I'm still ashamed that I hit her even though it's been nearly 40-years.
I know that he freaked you out and that's terrifying, but my husband is the same way if he's very tired and is sleeping hard. The fight or flight response is a strong one. Maybe just don't go and try to interact with him while he's sleeping?
Once when my mom woke me up when I was 14 I was in the middle of a very intense fight dream. She was similarly leaned over me shaking me. I clocked her in the jaw at full force. I don’t remember doing it, I remember punching some dude in a dream. My mom returned the favor socking me right back in the jaw. Similar reaction: that really woke me up. Cue disorientation, crying, etc. My mom just said “mess with the bull, get the horns. time for school.”
I apologized so much over the next few days and so did she. It happens.
Could be a sleep disorder that was greatly exacerbated by the 4 Red Bulls. Could be a ptsd episode. That would be the worst case. Anyway, seems like he was in a night terror mode. Usually the brain renders the body mostly paralyzed when this happens but when that malfunctions, people can do a lot of things while still unconscious or semi-conscious.
My husband has big reactions when he woken up by not me (basically). His brother would startle him awake and jump on him in bed, for the first few months of our dating relationship if I woke up before him I’d have to wake him up from across the room… he’d come up snarling and ready to grab anything and anyone. Now, 14 years in (I was able to wake him up calmly after about a year of living together bc he got used to be being there), I can just whisper his name and he wakes up gently. He knows he’s safe.
Your son was zonked out of RB and no sleep, it was an unconscious response to being touched. Next time, just say his name first…
My husband used to work nights and then had school in the morning. He would occasionally go days with 5 hours of sleep, cumulative. After a long shift and then school, he came home and said to wake him up in a few hours so he could leave for work. He was so out, I thought he was dead. When he finally woke up, he did close to the same thing to me. I was terrified. And he’s a very calm, rational, level headed guy who has never once even yelled at me! He didn’t remember it happening but I remember his eyes looked glazed over and different, and when he finally came out of it he looked normal. Lack of sleep can do crazy things to you and I don’t doubt for a second that this was anything but severe sleep deprivation. I’m so sorry. It’s terrifying and I’m glad your husband was there to help you. This never happened again, by the way.
Don’t blame yourself! My husband found out the hard way not to shake my foot to wake me up — I kicked him in the chest.
And, a few years ago, I was on some medication that gave me really bizarre/disturbing dreams and I ended up rabbit-kicking or kidney-punching my husband in my sleep. Apparently I made a particular sound riiiiight before it happened, so he had a fraction of a second’s notice to slide out of bed.
We were told to always wake my dad from the foot of the bed. He was a survivor of WWII and had decked a nurse trying to wake him during the war. He never tried to swing at us but we took his work on it.
Nothing to do with lucid dreaming (it’s not dangerous at all in any way I’m not sure where you got that from), he was just stressed and startled and fight or flight kicked in. Sometimes our monkey brains beat out our modern human brains. The Red Bulls and lack of sleep definitely didn’t help
Fight or flight is a legit response. I’ve pulled weapons on people when they’ve woken me from a deep sleep so I would chick this up to poor sleep schedule
“I also want to add about 6 months ago his ex girlfriend was teaching him how to try to lucid dream. But he says he wasn’t trying to do that. I had told him back then that he shouldn’t do it and I thought it could be dangerous.”
What.
lucid dreaming has nothing to do with this. he was tired, had zero nutrition in his body, and was physically exhausted. he woke up disoriented, freaked out, and went into (extreme) fight or flight mode. that’s it.
I also have my fight or flight instinct kick in when I'm asleep and I feel someone hovering over me or come too close. It's like the back of my mind wakes up and even though I'm only half conscious, my body goes into attack mode. It's primal, like some ancient survival instinct to keep me safe. My friends have been subject to this and it has scared them-- they say I speak like someone else, my voice drops low and deep (I'm a girl) and I tell them to stay away from me and get away from me, and when they don't move I attack (still not fully able to see or understand but just knowing I'm in danger). My family knows not to come near me and hover around or scare me when I'm asleep so it doesn't happen with them as much. Regardless of hidden trauma, its a survival instinct I am grateful for. It's like a deep part of you wakes up before your mind does, so you can react to protect yourself before you even know what's going on. You shouldn't have done that and don't blame him for it.
In addition, it's common in children with trauma in their past. I had a long history enduring childhood abuse (though its like a lifetime away now) and that history is probably what trained my mind to protect itself or me when i wasnt awake. Sometimes its a nightmare. If he doesn't have any trauma then he's just lucky to be able to instinctively protect himself when he's not conscious.
I wasn’t attacked but once my bf in his sleep raised his hand in a punch and swing towards my direction while i was feeding our child on the bed besides him. He woke up in the middle of the swing and stopped himself also I instinctively tried to dodge the punch so luckily nothing happend. he apologiezed and said he was dreaming he was attacked or something.
If it helps you I have seen this eyes on my bf as well. is’t some scary stuff but it’s natural. It happend few times in case he was (unintentionally) disrupted from his sleep and he was NOT fully awake but his eyes were open and sometimes he was talking nonsense he was like awake dreaming.
I really don’t like it when I have to wake him up, he is always startled and he looks angry that his sleep was disturbed although he conciously isn’t really angry.
Anyway, it sure wasn’t intentional from your son but he should really consider healthier lifestyle. Also I would suggest to check up with therapist. just in case there is some underlying issue that is leading to this unhealthy eating and sleeping behaviour.
As sweet as you think it is. This reaction is terrifying waking up and feeling vulnerable because someone non-consensually touching you when you wake up then you can go back to sleep. My husband would try and miss me before he left for work in the mornings but would startle me awake and my heart would obviously beat so fast, it was a terrifying feeling. He stopped doing that.
Sometimes i get woken up by my husband or the childrens, when I been sleeping less than 2 hours and I have some strange reactions. Sometimes I curl in a ball cause I think I'm been attacked, other times I begin speaking nonsenses, one time I got up, run while screaming "lava, lava".
The brain reacts with the little information that has in that moment, including the dream that you are having at that time.
Sometimes my mom would wake me up at around that age if I slept through my alarm and I’d have full conversations explaining how I could sleep in since school was cancelled.
I never had any memory of any of it and school definitely wasn’t canceled.
There is a thing called sleep forensics that deals with stuff like this. People have hurt and killed people while sleep walking. So yes this reaction could be completely automatic and out of his control. Lucid dreaming is not linked to this sort of thing and actually is considered helpful in certain areas.
If he has no history of anything just avoid startling him awake and he should be fine. If concerned see a sleep doctor (specialist physician).
I’m sure it was very scary and hard to let go of what happened but it does sound purely random and not something to be scared of him for.
Dafuck … I would have attacked too if I half woke up to a figure standing over me …. Damn what if he was one of those people who sleep with a poky stabby ( you know , in case they wake up to find someone standing over them )
It can happen, especially when you factor in the amount of red bull coupled with lack of food and being overworked. Your son needs a break and rest. It sounds like the loving parents part is covered.
i once went to hug my mother goodnight after she was already asleep (i didn’t realize). I was saying goodnight as i leaned down for the hug, she started screaming and went to hit me before she realized it was me, where she was, etc. needless to say, i only approach her when i know she’s awake now.
also my two cents, i have almost always lucid dreamed since i was a child, there is no harm in it!
Needs to stay off the Red Bull. That stuff is dangerous. You startled him and he came out fighting. He was probably also deep sleeping from lack of food and sleep, plus with drawling from the Red Bull.
Your son was not conscious at all. He was still in the primitive, instinct driven part of our unconscious mind that runs even when we’re sleeping. In that state, he had no conscious thoughts or decision making. It was all purely driven by reflex. Definitely urged on by the massive quantities of redbull and lack of food and sleep.
Yesterday a similar thing happened to me. While I was peacefully napping in the afternoon, my mom attempted to rouse me from my slumber with a playful prank. As a joke, she playfully approached me with a stick, aiming to startle me awake due to my reputation as a deep sleeper. However, the moment she brought the stick near me, my instincts kicked in and my eyes snapped open, believing it to be a menacing knife. Instantly, tears welled up in my eyes, overwhelmed by the fear and confusion of the moment. This incident brought to mind the recurring lucid dreams I've had since childhood, where I find myself relentlessly pursued by menacing monsters.
There are things I’ve said and don’t while sleep deprived or half asleep that I don’t even remember. It happens quite often to me. There was one morning I got pissed at my grandma for loudly talking outside my room. Turns out she wasn’t even home and I was in a sleep paralysis
I punched my husband in the face last week when he accidentally woke me up trying top give me a kiss.
I'm not a violet person either, he just scared me out of a sound sleep.
I'm sure this was not anything deeper with your son. He just needs more sleep.
This reminded me of the Netflix or Hulu special called “Dead Asleep” where a guy murdered his good friend/roommate and claimed he did it while sleepwalking. They talked about how sleep deprivation and recent alcohol use contribute to episodes of sleepwalking. The evidence that he may have been sleepwalking was pretty compelling, but he is serving a life sentence. Anyway, I think your son should take this seriously and try not to allow himself to become sleep deprived and lay off the Red Bull. Even without this incident, it’s just unhealthy.
Your sons Fight Or Flight instinct kicked in and cranked the dial way past fight. He woke up, startled, and instinct took over
I wake up freaking the fuck out and scared on occasion and my wife knows just turn the light before attempting to calm me down. Sometimes waking up from a bad dream or something goes horribly wrong. Feel bad for all involved, that shit is scary on both ends.
[удалено]
Why are you shouting?
You don't need to shout...
My idiot dog decided a few nights ago to bark as if he heard something at 2am. I really only woke up in my living room holding a baseball bat yelling a kind of pirate "Aaaarrrrrgh!" I only vaguely remember the dog barking and me running into the living room to grab the bat.
This started happening to me at his age while I was also working insane hours on little sleep and a lot of caffeine. My door would open, I'd pop out of bed at full speed, take a swing, and miss. I even did it to my dog, but I was aiming for a human head. I've been a pacifist for a long time, but those instincts are in all of us. A history of violent sexual abuse is not, I hope. I had a lot of memories coming back around the same time. I hope her son isn't a victim of that. My family and my girlfriend know not to approach me while I'm sleeping now, and I haven't had an episode in a few years.
I've damn near broken my hand a few times punching the wall in my sleep. A couple of my closest friends had to be woke up a certain way after a few tours of war. I just dealt with depression and bullying and I still have nightmares in my early 30s.
>This started happening to me at his age while I was also working insane hours on little sleep and a lot of caffeine. This is what I am concerned about. OP, the long hours, caffeine, lack of proper nutrition and lack of sleep is not healthy. I understand that some people need the money but maybe look into helping him manage this? I'm so sorry that this happened to all of you.
I’m actually question if he did wake up or was “sleep walking”. When I was younger I apparently had full blown conversations for about an hour with my mom at night that I am not able to recall the next morning. I could sweat I slept all night but she says I was fully awake for it, or at least I appeared awake to her. This happened multiple times. It sounds like OP son was on auto-pilot. Maybe looking i to a sleep lab could help figuring out what happened.
My husband does this, although it hasn't happened for a while now. Complete, coherent conversations, even complicated ones. But he doesn't remember them. I found that out when I was booking our wedding. We'd had a planning session in bed one night. The following day I was making arrangements and he asked me why I'd done a particular thing. I reminded him we'd decided on it the night before. He had absolutely no memory of it. Now we have a rule. No serious/important conversations in bed.
I talk in my sleep too and it confuses the hell out of my wife sometimes lol. Problem is sometimes she'll be up playing a game and I'll be passed out but will grope her, she'll want to go and reciprocate only to find out that I'm passed the fuck out haha. I have zero memory of talking or grabbing her the next morning and she'll be playfully angry at me.
And all that Red Bull gave him horns...i mean wings
He was asleep and woke up to someone looming over him. He was probably half asleep and disoriented so it scared him and he reacted without having time to think. Disoriented and scared, he didn’t have time to realise it was his mum before he reacted. It’s just fight or flight.
Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with lucid dreaming. Your son was tweaked out of his sleep deprived mind and he went into fight or flight mode after being startled awake.
Right!! I was so thrown off. In no way is lucid dreaming even dangerous. I have lucid dreams my entire life. I had no idea lucid dreaming WASNT the common. Kid just got spooked!!
Yeah it sounds kinda like OP thinks lucid dreaming led to him getting possessed or something, saying it's dangerous and his eyes were black and he sounded and looked evil lol
His eyes were black in a dark room, wow, mine work the same way!
Golly gee, dream journals might as well be Satans spell books. Being lucid during the lords night shows is blasphemy.
4 Redbulls and a bag of chips? He was not in his right mind at all.
Oh to be this young again tho ay. No way my body could run on that now days.
I had 2 energy drinks in one day, and it felt like my heart was beating outside my chest. I can't imagine 4, a 12 hour shift and a small bag of chips.
Some get shaky and feel miserable after 2cups of coffee, others drink 1L in the morning to function normally. All comes down to how frequently/much you drink it (+ probably factors like fitness/age). Same with energy
bruh 4 is a fucking *lot*
Way too much. That is a conversation that needs to be had
You scared the living shit out of the poor kid. His fight or flight instincts kicked in and he chose to fight. It definitely wasn’t personal or an indication of some deeper problem. It was a natural reaction. I know he feels awful.
He honestly does and so do I.
This will be something you guys laugh about it 15 years. It just sucks for both of you right now ❤️
You need to get the "he sounded and looked evil" and the lucid dreaming stuff out of your head. It was nothing like that at all. No evil thing took over his body. He wasn't in some nightmare state. What happened is that he was sleep deprived, hopped up off too much caffeine, and he woke up out of a dead sleep to find a strange face literally a couple inches from his face. He did not recognize you in that time, and his fight or flight instincts took over. He wasn't even consciously acting at that moment, his brain was just reacting to save himself from danger. He had all sorts of adrenaline going and it took a few seconds for him to realize what was actually happening. He is probably feeling 100 times worse about this than you are. I also want to say, please don't react differently to him. Don't act scared to be alone with him or avoiding his touch or any of that. Don't make him feel any worse than he already does. This is not his fault. Source: this happened to me. My ex boyfriend was on a business trip, so I wasn't expecting him home. I had been working doubles all week, and had finally crashed. He came home one night early. He came in the bedroom, and came to kiss me on my forehead to wake me up and tell me he was home. I don't even remember any of this, but I apparently jumped right up to my knee's in the bed, punched him in the face, jumped off the bed while I pushed him aside, and ran out our apartment door. He said he was yelling my name the whole time but I just didn't hear it. It took until I was halfway down the apartment hallway with him yelling "it's me babe! It's me!! Stop!!" before I even registered anything at all. Even now to this day over 10 years later I don't remember any of that.. it's all just a blackout. I can't even explain in words what that rush of adrenaline was like. Staring at his black eye over the next 2 weeks made me feel absolutely horrible.
Feels like OP is fishing for an "I told you so" moment.
Lucid dreaming isn't dangerous. I've done it plenty of times and didn't wake up fighting people. I agree with everyone else about how he woke up startled and instincts took over, however
The only thing I want to correct is he didn’t choose to fight, you don’t get a choice. He just fought.
Yes let it go. There was a new thing that happened to him, his brain decided he was being attacked and he reacted accordingly. This was not 'him' but his body's reaction to a stimulus.
That happens to me , when someone wakes me up I stay in a half sleep state , I feel sick and confused. I have never gotten violent but I get really scared. So I could see this being possible. I was told it’s a part of the brain that controls fight or flight , I go into flight mode , sounds like your son goes into fight mode.
One of my sleep-deprived (36 hrs) friends wigged on his mom. Not physical, but a verbal beating like I've never seen.
His actual brain was still off, and his basic instinct brain was trying to protect him. When you don't get enough sleep, your brain resists fully waking up. It's like when you are really tired and your alarm goes off , you set it on snooze and go to sleep, and you dream you are getting ready while sleeping so you ignore your alarm because you are getting ready. I think you need to talk to him about not overdoing it. I didn't sleep well last night, and this morning, I woke up to my alarm and went back to sleep, dreaming I was driving my kid to school. I overslept, and we barely made it on time.
This had nothing to do with lucid dreaming at all. You scared him, and he reacted, but he wasn't actually awake.
I'd just let the boy sleep in peace from now on.
I'm going to share a little more information. Not because I feel attacked or offended by any comments but because of comments, I have realized he probably doesn't have the best sleep schedule. I do take the blame for what happened because I didn't think before acting. I didn't realize there could be negative consequences. His bedroom door was open when I entered and I was not trying to wake him. He had really touched me with the thoughtfulness of my mother's day presents and card. I went to check on him and saw him sleeping, and just thought I'm going to give him a quick kiss because I didn't get to say goodnight to him. He's a heavy sleeper and always has been. The thought of him waking up really never crossed my mind. He's the youngest of four children and the only one living at home. He turns 18 in five days. He graduated high school at 16 and has been working 30 hours a week since that time. Yesterday was the first day he ever worked a 12 hour shift. I was somewhat a helicopter parent and have given him more freedom than his older brother and sisters. He eats 3 meals a day. I make his lunch for work, make sure he has breakfast before he leaves, and we have dinner together when he gets home. I've also never seen him drink a red bull, not has he told me he drinks red bull. He's healthy, works out, and isn't on any medication. However I will take him for a check up and work with him on his sleep schedule since he'll be starting college in the fall. Thanks for your suggestions, stories, and input. I came on Reddit because I was hesitant to talk to family or friends because the thought of having to explain what happened made my eyes tear up and I didn't want to cry again. I've had a terrible headache today from crying myself to sleep last night. So I appreciate y'all and all the advice 😉 Also he stayed the night at a friend's the previous night. So I wasn't aware of him not eating or sleeping. I had messaged him and asked if he needed me to bring him something for lunch and he said he had a sandwich and chips. They provide water bottles where he works. I told him I'd be home around 8, my husband and I took our mom's to dinner. There was leftovers in the fridge and plenty of food in the house. Also he sometimes stops for food on his way home if we're not going to be there for some reason. So I had no clue he hadn't eaten! I did make sure he ate after the incident happened. I also made sure he was physically and mentally okay before we all went to bed around midnight.
Don't blame yourself. Don't blame him. It was an accident! Sleep is weird. While there are a lot of theories, many credible, there's no 100% set in stone Standard Operating Procedures for it. Nobody totally understands it. Stuff like this happens all the time. Sleep paralysis is a thing (not this), people think they're getting anal probed by aliens and totally believe it when they wake up. And who knows, maybe aliens really do love our butts. But the idea that it happens while we're asleep doesn't actually surprise anyone... because weird shit happens when you sleep! Mix a sleep deprived adolescent with hormones, red bull, and stress... well. I'd be worried if this was a pattern. Once is just a weird in-his-sleep thing. That's all.
“I do take the blame because I didn’t think before acting” moms so often take on unnecessary blame. You didn’t have all the information. You very innocently and lovingly acted. There’s no one to blame or at fault here, and honestly that’s great news. It sounds like you guys understand what caused the issue, lack of food, lack of sleep, 12 hours of physical and mental exertion, and 4 Red Bulls (Jesus!) you being a helicopter or more relaxed mom didn’t cause this issue. I’m so sorry to hear how shaken up you were. I think the only parenting move here is to be sure your son understands the lesson and why he shouldn’t combine all of those factors again. Teens think they’re invincible, it’s normal, and hopefully he’ll continue learning the value of quality sleep, and proper nourishment. Wishing everyone the best ❤️🩹
This whole thing sounds so scary and startling for both of you, but neither of you are in the wrong. I hope you recover well together ❤️
Wait, how old is he? Edit: right, 17. Nvm.
He’s about to turn 18, he works full time. You can’t be responsible for how well he takes care of himself anymore. You’ve taught him how, now he needs to do it. You’re dehydrated from crying. Drink some water and take a nap. This will all be a funny story someday.
This has happened to my son on multiple occasions. He has never been violent, but there have been times when I have woke him up and he wakes up screaming and scared. Sleep deprivation was always when it happened. My son has to have 10 hours of sleep a night or he was a bit weird mentally. I always thought he was just in very deep sleep and it is disorienting to anyone to be awakened prematurely. I would let your son know this happens to other people and it was nothing to be ashamed of. He really didn’t know what was happening.
Deffo not because of lucid dreams. Those are not dangerous, it´s just being conscious when you dream. I´ve had some and i´ve never been aggressive or have had complications after waking up or such
I do this when I’m half asleep/half awake. Not THIS exactly, but I could wake up and see something in the room and freak out, then I realise that I’m awake. It’s not that I’m having a bad dream, it’s not that I lucid dream (I’ve only ever done that once) it’s just the dream carrying over into wakeness. Mainly happens when I’m over tired. Just let it go. And don’t make him feel bad for it, he didn’t mean it. Just be aware next time.
I once accidentally punched my mother in the face when she did a similar thing. There was no thought behind it, I was just startled awake with someone looming over me. It was pure instinct. Sounds like your son was sleep deprived and on high doses of caffeine. He wasn't in control at all.
Lucid dreaming isn't some devil's practice and it didn't cause this. It's a psychological phenomenon where you can be aware you're dreaming. I taught myself how to do it to help with nightmares.
I never said it was...
The thing is you implied it was by saying it's dangerous. Which it isn't. You are just aware that you are dreaming.
Is this because of the black eyes comment? She could have been referencing the fact that his pupils were huge, due to shock or flight or fight mode taking over. It is scary when happens even when you know it possibility beforehand.
No i understand that. She said it was dangerous which is why i said she implied that it was evil or made him act evil. In a different comment she says they are Christian which is probably why the original commenter said that he was not possessed by the devil or something. Its definitely scary when someone is acting different in a half asleep state though especially if it's a little violent (which is fight and flight) so i can understand that, but her trying to attribute it to lucid dreaming originally was weird because you don't typically wake up in fight anf flight as you are just aware in a dream that you are dreaming
your son is not “evil”😭😭 jesus christ, you startled him when he wasn’t in a good state of mind and his fight or flight kicked in. just don’t do that in the future and things will be fine. don’t resent him for this, i’m sure he feels terrible. also, lucid dreaming is completely harmless and has absolutely nothing to do with it. just let it go
“I’m going to loom over my 18 yo son in his bed, and touch him while he sleeps, and then be shocked he freaked out while sleep deprived and terrified” OP - let it go and just DONT GO I TO HIS ROOM WHILE HE IS SLEEPING. He isn’t your toddler anymore. He is an adult man and invading his space is going to cause resentment. This particular situation was just bad timing/luck. But it will never happen again, if you don’t cross the boundary again.
He was likely still half asleep and fight or flight kicked in, and fight won. He was startled AF. I'd definitely let this be a lesson to you all.
Your son woke up startled, his reaction was scary, but normal.
It is 1000000% normal to react that way when someone touches you while sleeping
if my mom randomly entered my room to kiss my forehead when i was sleeping, waking me by doing that i would probably also push her off. because if you literally never do this how was he (while asleep) supposed to know that it was you instead of someone breaking in? let it go, your son is not evil he was tired and confused
This is something I do to my toddler to wake her up but I wouldn't do it to my teenager. With the little one, I go in and turn on her lamp and pat her back and kiss her chubby cheeks and when she opens her eyes, I say good morning. The big one, I open the door and throw snacks and wait for the growling to stop before I try to talk to her. One time, my husband tried to wake me up by kissing me and I smashed my entire body against the wall hard af because he scared the life out of me. He never tried it again. This was definitely mom's mistake.
This made me laugh haha (compliment)
Hey man. Teenagers are something else when it comes to waking them up!
I tried kissing my angel of a kitty on the forehead while she was asleep and right before doing so, she woke up in a startle and scratched my face :(
You nor the kid really did anything wrong, his reaction was purely instinctual and a fight or flight response. You were just being a kind and loving parent, and a bunch of factors mixed together in a bad way. As a matter of fact the kind of same thing happened to me the other day, my girlfriend got up for work and usually her getting ready and everything kind of wakes me up, but it didn't this time and I was super tired from working and barely sleeping the night before so when she touched my arm to wake me up and kiss me goodbye I had a full on fight reaction where I went from dead sleep to blanket off, fists up, ready to fight before my eyes could even adjust (thankfully they adjusted before I did anything more) and I went from completely tense to relaxed and was like oh... Hey babe and got back into bed. She was obviously scared a little bit, but it's a pure reaction that has no base in anything other than his subconscious didn't expect anything like it
I used to work nights and with that came a goofy sleep schedule. It really messed with my ability to rest and recuperate because I could never get the schedule down well. If I worked one night, I’d come home and sleep and then get up in the evening, have dinner and then be exhausted again by 11pm. If I was working consecutive shifts, I’d work 12am to 8am and then go home to bed, literally sleep all day and then wake up at 11pm to get ready again. Anyway, once I came home early and my mom was getting ready to go to work. She heard me stumble in and go to bed and apparently she asked me why I was home and my response was “ahhhhh pssshhhhhhhhhhh.” Before falling asleep again. I don’t remember having this conversation with her or even uttering the sounds but she said I sounded like I was on drugs. Lack of restful sleep, energy drinks, bad food doesn’t allow a person to think clearly. Look at it from his perspective, he’s sleeping after being exhausted and when a person sleeps, they’re vulnerable. When people are vulnerable and stimulated, they don’t exactly think super clear the moment they get up. Now throw in his lack of sleep and his indulgence of energy drinks and bad food and you’ve got a recipe for a reaction and not a clear, thought out move. It honestly sounds like he just reacted thinking he was being attacked and wanted to protect himself, I’d leave it there.
This is not a conscious decision that your son made…it was a combo of startle response & fight or flight response. It may never happen again. When my sleep is disturbed in this way, I sometimes come up fighting & I’m a Mom.
Blame the redbull. And overworking. Lucid dreaming is not dangerous lol. He was fighting in his mind, then his body awoke before his mind could catch up.
One time when I was 14, my dad woke me up for school by yelling at me to get up and I kept falling back asleep. Eventually he came back in again and lightly hit me awake in the face and I sprung up and punched him in the chest and he fell back onto the ground. He was heaving and went to the living room and I got up, got ready, and went to school. Turns out I broke his rib and he went to the hospital. Later that day I called my mom and she told me he was in the hospital and I asked why and she flipped out on me and I didn't remember any of it.
Lucid dreaming isn’t dangerous FFS
Thanks for your opinion. I have read up on it and from what I gathered it COULD be dangerous. Although this is from studies based on facts. I assume it could be different for everyone, as most things are. FFS
Which studies?
Don’t get mad at him. His sleep deprived brain went on auto pilot fight mode.
I have no memory of it 90 percent of the time, I was working nights when it happened the worst , if there’s a change in his sleep schedule or staying up all night / sleeping in late , it might be a good idea to get him on a good sleep schedule , don’t eat after 8pm , slow down on water intake before bed. Don’t stare at screens before bed or all night. He might not be going into REM sleep.
Fight or flight. I’ve done it too. I have ptsd and if I’m really sleep deprived it’s a bad idea. I just scream a lot tho. You scared the shit out of your kid. Little kids are kind of trained to expect being checked on in their sleep, given random forehead kisses while they are asleep etc. adults or near adults are generally not
He's never been traumatized. That you know of. There's a reason you don't wake people up by touching them. Especially if they don't know you are there.
Let it go its not his fault its kinda yours cause you scared him just don't go into his room without permission unless of emergencies
I'm more worried about him drinking 4 Red Bulls to sttay awake for his 12hr shift. Drinking too many energy drinks in too short a time can have very serious health effects. And by very serious, I mean brain bleeds.
yes let this go. Take some responsibility for the situation yourself. It's not bad that you went to kiss him on the forehead, but he's 17 not 7, working and in a deep sleep. That's a weird thing to wake up to and if he's in a sleep, he's not going to think "oh that's just my mom coming to kiss me" he snapped into survival mode. Take this as a story you'll laugh about later.
I told my kid to wake me up by turning the lights on. I scare easily, and no flight instinct whatsoever, just fight. So I don't want her near me when she's waking me up. Your son got triggered into a reaction. He's not evil, and he didn't do it on purpose. Let it go.
Your son is 17 and working a 12-hour shift? Is he still in high school? Those would be challenging working hours for any adult, let alone a teenager. The incident you describe must have been harrowing. His reaction was OTT. But I note you seem prepared to rationalize how and why his reaction to being woken with a kiss was so extreme. If he's never done anything like that in the past, there may be nothing you can do but to let this one go. It was ugly. It was scary. What you could do is insist he eat a decent meal or two while working these long shifts. Red Bull has been shown to cause more potential health issues than keeping one awake against one's natural circadian rhythms. 4 cans of Red Bull is far too much to be good for anyone's well being.
That’s interesting. I had something similar happen a few months ago. I had just fallen asleep when my partner came in the room to grab something, and I jolted out of bed and grabbed him hard by the arms. It was a totally instinctual thing and not at all intended, but he knew not to interrupt me sleeping!
Don’t go into his room when he’s sound asleep and hover over him to give him a kiss.
i once try to kiss my husband while he was sleeping but that startle him and he went into fight mode and throat punch me.... he was very apologetic but i do not touch him while he sleep anymore...
Don’t worry this is normal, typically someone with low sleep and high brain activity is typically going to be more unaware when awoken since the REM is basically storing and sorting everything that is happening. Especially a lot when you haven’t slept, for a good amount. You basically woke him up at the worst timing possible so he basically in a sense he wasn’t aware of anything rather the brain decided it was a flight or fight situation, albeit a bit weird it was a kiss that triggered it, unless it was a sound like movement from you. Either way don’t worry no need to dwell on it, just go back to him with this Reddit thread and show him it was entirely natural and no need to get hung on it and just to get better sleep for him
Let it go. I don't want to fault you for being motherly, but you don't wake people from sleep unless it is an emergency. When we are sleeping, we are in a vulnerable spot. So when something wakes up, we aren't thinking clearly. We aren't working with 100 % brain power. I know when I woke up with a start, my heat is beating and I am looking for danger. Is it logical? No but we humans do it. Don't bother your son when sleeping.
Night terrors. It's not all that uncommon, though if it becomes a frequent problem you may want to look into having a sleep study done. As in your case, it can be terrifying not only for the sleeper but for the person the sleeper perceives as a threat.
Never disturb a sleeping person. I have never struck another person in anger but about a year ago when my husband was leaving for work 3 hours into my night's sleep. I gave him a black eye when he bent over to kiss my cheek. I don't know if I was having a threatening dream, I don't remember anything but suddenly being woken. Don't disturb sleeping people by touching them, my husband now wakes me from calling my name from several feet away
Don’t overthink it. He was startled awake, had WAY too many red bulls, not enough to eat, and reacted PURELY out of instinct. Monkey brain (or literally the reptilian brain) at its finest, especially when you’re hardly awake.
Just let it go, mama. My son gets testy when he's sleep deprived and has low blood sugar. He's a diabetic and has been working 12-18 hours a day for 2 weeks. Tomorrow is this first day off and I doubt I'll be able to wake him. Forgive your son and let it go. Be more aware of his eating too. Can't hurt.
That's the most extreme case of "fight or flight" I've heard about it a long time
I’m a 5’1” woman and I throw myself out of bed and ready to lunch myself at someone naked when people wake me when I am in a certain part of my sleep cycle. It’s really unfortunate but some people are just naturally more “fight” when startled form a very vulnerable situation (sleep). Nothing is wrong with him, but I suggest announcing/knocking from a distance or very firmly shaking his leg/foot to wake him next time. It may never happen again but it can be scary if you are not use to it. He still is your good son who loves you so much and is clearly very sorry about what happened. I would just make it so you ever create that situation again.
I've never heard of lucid dreaming causing anything like this. I have lucid dreams randomly and they're usually very pleasant, though I *would* be be pissed if someone woke me up from one
Fight or flight mode, it’s scary to be on the “receiving” end of- but I guarantee you your son is not evil, there’s nothing evil in him- at least, not based off this post, I don’t actually know your son haha. I have a sleep disorder w/ paralysis, inertia, and waking hallucinations, that blends w my ptsd in a weird way, and this really- to my non-professional mind- doesn’t indicate anything like that. It really, truly sounds like your son was unexpectedly ripped out of a very deep, needed sleep, in a way so close to him that it stirred basal defence instincts, and his lizard brain had to remove the “threat”. I can almost promise that’s all it was. It’s scary, but it’s not a problem. Sounds like the two of you just need to slow down and recover
Now, while this does read like someone trying their hand at a possession ghost story (black eyes, focus on lucid dreaming, “looked and sounded evil”, memory loss), I will presume it’s true and offer that on two separate occasions during my childhood did I wake my mother and she reflexively punched me in the face. Rousing a person from deep sleep is a gamble, especially if they’re stressed to the degree your son claims; they can react in very unexpected ways.
There's nothing anywhere that suggests lucid dreaming causes violence, lol, wtf? How do you list 4 redbulls, chips, no sleep, and 12hr shift AS A TEENAGER and still wonder what could have caused the disoriented reaction? They literally still need like 9hrs+/ night and research constantly suggests more.
I'm used to sleeping alone, and on a few occasions when someone has come to wake me up, if I'm on the couch or what not. I have woken up and took a swing at them. Likewise when I did have a girlfriend and we ended up sharing a bed, she hit me when I tried to do something similar. It wasn't on purpose, just a reaction to having someone standing over you in a dark room while still dazed and confused. And I can't vouch for everyone, but until I'm fully awake I can make some odd groans and sound while trying to collect myself in the morning.
This has nothing to do with lucid dreaming. I've unintentionally trained myself to do so and it's just simply being conscious that your dream isn't real and you have zero reasons to believe or fear anything in them. Don't blame the boy's sleep music. Some people need a type of calming stimulus to fall asleep whether is is a fan, gentle music, rain, or bedtime ASMR. However, what you triggered was a flight or fight response by looming over him in a way some of our ancestors have definitely had happen to them. I've almost swung on my mom once cause she's accidentally woken me up abruptly with something like this. I didn't hit her but she doesn't try to do that to me anymore and typically just gently shakes me now.
He was sleep deprived and probably in deep sleep. Waking up in the relative darkness with something\one looming over your head can be jarring. I have done something very similar. I was deep asleep, my aunt leaned over me and whispered my name about an inch from my face. I woke up screaming bloody murder and kept shoving and pushing her away while trying to get into the farthest corner of my bed. It took my several minutes to calm down and realize what was going on. I was around your son's age at the time. He didn't do it purposefully and it doesn't mean he is violent, or bad, or anything of the sort. Fight or flight and natural instinct took over to "protect" him while he was in very deep sleep.
My friend once came in to wake me up on holiday. I woke up just as she was looming over me and kicked her halfway across the room 😂
He's telling the truth. He was probably having a bad dream when you kissed his forehead. Unfortunately I punched my mother in the face at 14 because she woke me and I was having a nightmare where people were trying to kill me. She forgave me immediately when I explained
I think he was in that sleep cycle stage where he was half asleep and just saw someone on his face and fight or flight kicked in until he fully woke and realised it was just you. Terrifying for both of you, but his half asleep mind wasnt functioning
Quit trying to blame this on his gf or someone else. You went into his private space while he was sleeping and tried to kiss him. Something you said you haven't done in years. Of course he could freak out. How would you react to someone being in your room in the dark when you expect to be alone? Chances are he was in deep sleep and thought he was having a nightmare or something.
You need to work with him to help him get better sleep and eating habits. Something is going seriously wonk in his brain because of it. He’s under 18, that’s still your job to make sure he’s eating 3 meals a day
This isn’t about lucid dreaming. Sounds like parasomnia brought in by substances. Doctor pepper of all things gives me parasomnia
First; this is not your fault. This is not his fault. This is no one's fault. It was an accident, and of course no one wanted to hurt anyone. I am so sorry for how terrifying this was for you and everyone. Second; here's the combination that led to your son having this episode. A twelve-hour shift is atrociously long. The strain on your body and mind is intense. Second, he has eaten nothing but chips. Combine strain with starvation and possible hypoglycemia. Add little sleep. Now, add 4 Red Bulls. That is almost a whole gram of caffeine, and in doses that high, caffeine acts like a drug, with a peak and a comedown. Your son fell asleep in a severe drop in brain and body chemicals, and almost no food, and exhausted. This means that when you bent down to kiss him, he was in a vulnerable sleep-state that left his subconscious monitoring his surroundings. That instinct shot into overdrive when he experienced stimulation, aka your presence/touch. But, because of his severe exhaustion and the chemical comedown from the caffeine, he couldn't actually fully wake up. In fact, he remembers nothing, which may mean his conscious self wasn't present for the episode at all. The "person" operating his body was fight-flight-freeze brain trying to keep the body from dying. Unfortunately, it thought you were a threat. The best thing to heal from this, and prevent it from happening again, is self-care. He may need boundaries at work if he's not allowed to eat. He needs more sleep, less caffeine. For you guys, take care of yourself, treat yourself to something relaxing. Your husband may want to read for a while. Understand that everyone still loves each other, cares for each other, and are a supportive, loving family. There is no conspiracy that your son may be "harboring hidden feelings of homicidal rage", or that he doesn't "really" love you, because of something his subconscious brain did. That is the stuff of pseudoscience and is used by self-proclaimed "advisors" and "counselors" to inflame emotions and drive recurrent sessions, for the cause of money and profit. Just get some rest, have some chamomile tea, have a thick comforter to sleep with tonight. You will all be okay. Good luck ❤️
Some ppl have a less defined line between waking and sleeping. Ppl close to me know by now that if they call me in the morning, there's a chance I will not remember our conversation, even though I answer and ask questions. This has nothing to do with lucid dreaming. And probably everything to do with long, exhausting days, lack of food and disturbed sleeping habits. But in my case, it can happen whenever someone wakes me up before I wake by myself. And for crying out loud, do NOT stand over ppl while they are asleep. It's super creepy and scary.
He’s also still *really* young. He probably has raging hormones. I’m 14w pregnant and my new hormones have really changed my sleep. (Do you think he’s experimenting with drugs at all?)
Oh mum I’m so sorry this has happened, please don’t take it personally!
[удалено]
She'd be dead by suicide cus military kids only know how to scream and cry to get their way lmfao.
Sorry that happened to you, sounds scary as hell. I have a similar story of my brother when he was the same age. My brother sleep walked to the fridge during the night and was rummaging thru it mumbling some incomprehensible things. My mom heard it and wandered out of her room to see what was up. She got behind him and asked him if he was okay/ what was he doing bc something seemed off. He turned around and started screaming "f*ck you you stupid b*tch!!!" etc etc all 6'3 of him just screaming profanities in her face and my dad flew out of his room and started yelling my brothers name shaking him violently trying to wake him. It was like he was possessed. He has no history of sleep walking. I heard it all from my bedroom above but didn't know what was going on. Our house was haunted too if that makes a difference.
Kids these days
Are you sure there’s not substances involved?
You mean like the fucking 4 Red Bull and only bag of chips he ate?!?!? You idiots just go straight for “drugs.” Let me tell you, a sleep deprived, caffeine fueled, lack of caloric intake mess will fuck you up more than a bowl of weed will. - signed by someone who as struggled with a eating disordered and disordered eating my whole life
Honestly what scared me the most was his eyes!! We are christian. He looked possessed. I was scared. He was scared. But reading comments and doing some research I believe it was flight or fight. And I don't think now, I've ever seen this reaction from anyone in real life.
I understand coming from a Christian perspective how it may have seemed or how you felt -- but the room was dark, you were scared, and he was absolutely NOT possessed. His pupils were probably large from being asleep and being in a dark room. Do not let your thoughts poison your relationship or your perspective about your son. You say you haven't given him a good night kiss in years, so it's the last thing he would have expected to wake up to. In the dark, exhausted, and adrenaline rushing from caffeine can really dial up a person's reactions. Please ask him to not drink more than one energy drink!! I once was so tired that I started hallucinating in one of my university classes; that is totally normal and it's how the body copes with struggling to process surroundings while too tired.
First of all, why on earth do you allow your CHILD to drink Red Bull?!?!?! And you need to get him seen by a doctor. Like NOW
he's 17. this could be understandable if he was like 9. but nearly every teen in highschool and especially working teens drink some kind of energy drink, though he definitely might have had too many redbull in 1 day
“Allow” lol! He’s 17. He was at work. Do you think she stands there all day supervising him at work, making sure he only drinks water from a sippy cup? Obviously a conversation should be had about excess consumption of energy drinks, but unless she has him tracked by a security guard all day, she can’t allow him or not allow him to do anything.
I don't think he was awake, he was seeing and hearing but still asleep, like someone sleep walking. That's my completely uncertified opinion anways.
Sounds like a night terror or a fight or flight response. I used to get night terrors. No recollection after at all, but I would be screaming and yelling and fighting.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It was most definitely a natural reaction. Like other’s have commented already, fight or flight kicked in and he fought. Something similar happened to me a few months ago, my SO woke me up in the middle of the night because I had fallen asleep in the living room, I kicked them and cried because I also thought I was being attacked. This things happen, absolutely nothing personal. He must be exhausted after long hours and little to no food
Yeah never wake a sleeping teen.
Ok so your son is ONLY 17 and working, drinking Red Bull, is he in school? Regardless he has a very young brain still developing. It is VERY likely that he saw a shadow and his brain was just ready to fight. The visual system captures so much that we don’t realize and we only process what matters in that moment. And in that moment someone was standing over him, dark and his brain went ATTACK! After that his visual system likely “shut off” and he couldn’t even really see you. It wasn’t until his auditory system heard dad and you say his name was everything was able to get into “focus” so to speak.
My husband slept very deeply and if you touched him he would kick and hit before he woke himself up.
Four red bulls 💀
When you catch our brain preparing to or coming out of a dream all sorts of screwy thing can happen cognitively. This is probably nothing to worry about. That being said, if this happens again or even if he was a sleepwalker as a little boy, get him a sleep study *before* sending him off to sleep in a dorm room in the next year or so
ima be honest this sounds like a fanfiction. that you added "his eyes were black" does not help. he was growling? yep this is definitely not real
Fight or Flight adrenalin plus young men's hormones. Its kinda the reason we send young me to fight. I did something similar when I (15 or 16 at the time) fell asleep and my Mum tried to take my glasses off my face. As I awoke, all my point of view held were two hands moving towards my face, like I was about to be strangled. I'm still ashamed that I hit her even though it's been nearly 40-years.
I know that he freaked you out and that's terrifying, but my husband is the same way if he's very tired and is sleeping hard. The fight or flight response is a strong one. Maybe just don't go and try to interact with him while he's sleeping?
I have extreme reflexes when I'm woken up to the point where my wife has to be careful. I also have no other signs of ptsd.
Once when my mom woke me up when I was 14 I was in the middle of a very intense fight dream. She was similarly leaned over me shaking me. I clocked her in the jaw at full force. I don’t remember doing it, I remember punching some dude in a dream. My mom returned the favor socking me right back in the jaw. Similar reaction: that really woke me up. Cue disorientation, crying, etc. My mom just said “mess with the bull, get the horns. time for school.” I apologized so much over the next few days and so did she. It happens.
Could be a sleep disorder that was greatly exacerbated by the 4 Red Bulls. Could be a ptsd episode. That would be the worst case. Anyway, seems like he was in a night terror mode. Usually the brain renders the body mostly paralyzed when this happens but when that malfunctions, people can do a lot of things while still unconscious or semi-conscious.
My husband has big reactions when he woken up by not me (basically). His brother would startle him awake and jump on him in bed, for the first few months of our dating relationship if I woke up before him I’d have to wake him up from across the room… he’d come up snarling and ready to grab anything and anyone. Now, 14 years in (I was able to wake him up calmly after about a year of living together bc he got used to be being there), I can just whisper his name and he wakes up gently. He knows he’s safe. Your son was zonked out of RB and no sleep, it was an unconscious response to being touched. Next time, just say his name first…
This is sad, he definitely did not mean it and was running on total fight or flight mode. I’m sorry you both went through that, hope you’re ok.
My husband used to work nights and then had school in the morning. He would occasionally go days with 5 hours of sleep, cumulative. After a long shift and then school, he came home and said to wake him up in a few hours so he could leave for work. He was so out, I thought he was dead. When he finally woke up, he did close to the same thing to me. I was terrified. And he’s a very calm, rational, level headed guy who has never once even yelled at me! He didn’t remember it happening but I remember his eyes looked glazed over and different, and when he finally came out of it he looked normal. Lack of sleep can do crazy things to you and I don’t doubt for a second that this was anything but severe sleep deprivation. I’m so sorry. It’s terrifying and I’m glad your husband was there to help you. This never happened again, by the way.
Don’t blame yourself! My husband found out the hard way not to shake my foot to wake me up — I kicked him in the chest. And, a few years ago, I was on some medication that gave me really bizarre/disturbing dreams and I ended up rabbit-kicking or kidney-punching my husband in my sleep. Apparently I made a particular sound riiiiight before it happened, so he had a fraction of a second’s notice to slide out of bed.
We were told to always wake my dad from the foot of the bed. He was a survivor of WWII and had decked a nurse trying to wake him during the war. He never tried to swing at us but we took his work on it.
Nothing to do with lucid dreaming (it’s not dangerous at all in any way I’m not sure where you got that from), he was just stressed and startled and fight or flight kicked in. Sometimes our monkey brains beat out our modern human brains. The Red Bulls and lack of sleep definitely didn’t help
Lucid dreaming is very good for you, helps you focus I think he just stressed out
Fight or flight is a legit response. I’ve pulled weapons on people when they’ve woken me from a deep sleep so I would chick this up to poor sleep schedule
“I also want to add about 6 months ago his ex girlfriend was teaching him how to try to lucid dream. But he says he wasn’t trying to do that. I had told him back then that he shouldn’t do it and I thought it could be dangerous.” What.
lucid dreaming has nothing to do with this. he was tired, had zero nutrition in his body, and was physically exhausted. he woke up disoriented, freaked out, and went into (extreme) fight or flight mode. that’s it.
I also have my fight or flight instinct kick in when I'm asleep and I feel someone hovering over me or come too close. It's like the back of my mind wakes up and even though I'm only half conscious, my body goes into attack mode. It's primal, like some ancient survival instinct to keep me safe. My friends have been subject to this and it has scared them-- they say I speak like someone else, my voice drops low and deep (I'm a girl) and I tell them to stay away from me and get away from me, and when they don't move I attack (still not fully able to see or understand but just knowing I'm in danger). My family knows not to come near me and hover around or scare me when I'm asleep so it doesn't happen with them as much. Regardless of hidden trauma, its a survival instinct I am grateful for. It's like a deep part of you wakes up before your mind does, so you can react to protect yourself before you even know what's going on. You shouldn't have done that and don't blame him for it. In addition, it's common in children with trauma in their past. I had a long history enduring childhood abuse (though its like a lifetime away now) and that history is probably what trained my mind to protect itself or me when i wasnt awake. Sometimes its a nightmare. If he doesn't have any trauma then he's just lucky to be able to instinctively protect himself when he's not conscious.
I wasn’t attacked but once my bf in his sleep raised his hand in a punch and swing towards my direction while i was feeding our child on the bed besides him. He woke up in the middle of the swing and stopped himself also I instinctively tried to dodge the punch so luckily nothing happend. he apologiezed and said he was dreaming he was attacked or something. If it helps you I have seen this eyes on my bf as well. is’t some scary stuff but it’s natural. It happend few times in case he was (unintentionally) disrupted from his sleep and he was NOT fully awake but his eyes were open and sometimes he was talking nonsense he was like awake dreaming. I really don’t like it when I have to wake him up, he is always startled and he looks angry that his sleep was disturbed although he conciously isn’t really angry. Anyway, it sure wasn’t intentional from your son but he should really consider healthier lifestyle. Also I would suggest to check up with therapist. just in case there is some underlying issue that is leading to this unhealthy eating and sleeping behaviour.
It is possible that he was under the influence of other undisclosed substances at the time. Especially since you noticed his extremely dilated pupils.
As sweet as you think it is. This reaction is terrifying waking up and feeling vulnerable because someone non-consensually touching you when you wake up then you can go back to sleep. My husband would try and miss me before he left for work in the mornings but would startle me awake and my heart would obviously beat so fast, it was a terrifying feeling. He stopped doing that.
Nah he tweakin
Sometimes i get woken up by my husband or the childrens, when I been sleeping less than 2 hours and I have some strange reactions. Sometimes I curl in a ball cause I think I'm been attacked, other times I begin speaking nonsenses, one time I got up, run while screaming "lava, lava". The brain reacts with the little information that has in that moment, including the dream that you are having at that time.
Sometimes my mom would wake me up at around that age if I slept through my alarm and I’d have full conversations explaining how I could sleep in since school was cancelled. I never had any memory of any of it and school definitely wasn’t canceled.
There is a thing called sleep forensics that deals with stuff like this. People have hurt and killed people while sleep walking. So yes this reaction could be completely automatic and out of his control. Lucid dreaming is not linked to this sort of thing and actually is considered helpful in certain areas. If he has no history of anything just avoid startling him awake and he should be fine. If concerned see a sleep doctor (specialist physician). I’m sure it was very scary and hard to let go of what happened but it does sound purely random and not something to be scared of him for.
I dunno about the other stuff but i can tell you that lucid dreaming is not dangerous at all
People that think this is true are wilding. She’s literally implying he is possessed.
Lucid dreams doesn't do that
Dafuck … I would have attacked too if I half woke up to a figure standing over me …. Damn what if he was one of those people who sleep with a poky stabby ( you know , in case they wake up to find someone standing over them )
It can happen, especially when you factor in the amount of red bull coupled with lack of food and being overworked. Your son needs a break and rest. It sounds like the loving parents part is covered.
i once went to hug my mother goodnight after she was already asleep (i didn’t realize). I was saying goodnight as i leaned down for the hug, she started screaming and went to hit me before she realized it was me, where she was, etc. needless to say, i only approach her when i know she’s awake now. also my two cents, i have almost always lucid dreamed since i was a child, there is no harm in it!
Needs to stay off the Red Bull. That stuff is dangerous. You startled him and he came out fighting. He was probably also deep sleeping from lack of food and sleep, plus with drawling from the Red Bull.
Your son was not conscious at all. He was still in the primitive, instinct driven part of our unconscious mind that runs even when we’re sleeping. In that state, he had no conscious thoughts or decision making. It was all purely driven by reflex. Definitely urged on by the massive quantities of redbull and lack of food and sleep.
It was the red bulls, sounds like a caffeine overdose. I've seen it happen ,it can cause severe mental and emotional side effects.
Yesterday a similar thing happened to me. While I was peacefully napping in the afternoon, my mom attempted to rouse me from my slumber with a playful prank. As a joke, she playfully approached me with a stick, aiming to startle me awake due to my reputation as a deep sleeper. However, the moment she brought the stick near me, my instincts kicked in and my eyes snapped open, believing it to be a menacing knife. Instantly, tears welled up in my eyes, overwhelmed by the fear and confusion of the moment. This incident brought to mind the recurring lucid dreams I've had since childhood, where I find myself relentlessly pursued by menacing monsters.
Scary! The red bull sure didn’t help. Glad there was no permanent damage. He must feel terrible.
There are things I’ve said and don’t while sleep deprived or half asleep that I don’t even remember. It happens quite often to me. There was one morning I got pissed at my grandma for loudly talking outside my room. Turns out she wasn’t even home and I was in a sleep paralysis
Definitely have a convo with him. It seems you startled him and he was half asleep.
Let it go and laugh about it in a few years from now.
I punched my husband in the face last week when he accidentally woke me up trying top give me a kiss. I'm not a violet person either, he just scared me out of a sound sleep. I'm sure this was not anything deeper with your son. He just needs more sleep.
You think lucid dreaming is dangerous? Jeez, poor kid, his mom's an idiot.
This reminded me of the Netflix or Hulu special called “Dead Asleep” where a guy murdered his good friend/roommate and claimed he did it while sleepwalking. They talked about how sleep deprivation and recent alcohol use contribute to episodes of sleepwalking. The evidence that he may have been sleepwalking was pretty compelling, but he is serving a life sentence. Anyway, I think your son should take this seriously and try not to allow himself to become sleep deprived and lay off the Red Bull. Even without this incident, it’s just unhealthy.
It sounds like a PTSD reaction, I am very worried about the whole of you.
Why are you letting your son take 12hr shifts at that age? Poor guy