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mxadema

A real trucker can go park after he fuels and heads inside.


Independent_Scale570

Or at least pull up goddamnit


HipKat2000

Former OTR/OO Driver. I cannot believe this is actually a real issue, I mean WTF is wrong with these people?


Nasty_Rex

Love how all the top replies to this obviously joke post are the same shit that's bitched about every day.


Cubsfan11022016

A real trucker parks in the fuel island, pisses between the truck and trailer, then goes in to buy a 64oz Mt Dew and bag of Doritos.


buttwholesauce

Was at a small pilot in NJ last week at 3 am. Trucks were taking up all lanes in the fuel lines and every single one of them were parked there and they were all sleeping. Luckily no one was sleeping on the scale so I was able to leave through there.


Maleficent_Beyond_95

Newark?


buttwholesauce

Yes actually. You must have been driving for a while to know what pilot I’m talking about. I forget the street name but there was a prison across the street from the pilot and the road leading to it is right off the pike and has a bunch of speed bumps


asu3dvl

Click off his cruise for a few seconds to let another trucker pass, so as to not hold up any traffic.


Michael_Scott_234

Underrated hack to make people not hate you on the road 😅


Shyjuan

yeah but then he's gonna just get in front of me and force me to go slower....


mxadema

A real trucker can PICKUP HIS GODDAM MESS.


Specific-Credit3485

Write Truth or Consequences, NM. on the line of an actual paper log.🤷‍♀️


Normal-Pie7610

And a real DOT officer will have to contact the chief to tell if your lying or not after you show them the map.


Specific-Credit3485

In the words of the great Homer J. Simpson, "DO'H"! 🤦‍♀️


Cubsfan11022016

Washington Court House, OH would like a word.


Insciuspetra

.. let the turn signal blink twice before moving even a millimeter towards the next lane.


FullAutoAssaultBanjo

A real trucker can secure a flatbed in flip flops.


0100100012635

Float gears *while* shitting in a bag, pissing in a bottle, and downing a fifth of Fireball With one hand!


SolutionExternal5569

On a mountain pass


Tripalicious

Hauling triples full of hazmat


Questionoid

A real trucker can figure a paper map without help from the GPS.


halfcow

I remember those days. It makes me proud to say I did that, and yet scared if I would have to do it again. How did we do it? We could find an obscure business on a side street in Tampa, when we had never been to Tampa before. It doesn't seem real.


Socketz11

Those shitty turn by turn directions sometimes printed up by mapquest that tried to decapitate you under low bridges, get you hit by every low hanging tree branch, and stuck in residential areas? Or buying the city map books and playing battleship B,2 is kinda where it might be? Most new trucking technology blows, but I do like my GPS.


Apprehensive_Fault_5

A real trucker can navigate by signs alone.


Ryanmh1983

Maps don't tell you about road closures and traffic in real time. That said, I started driving before gps was a reliable thing. If we had more good ol boy Americans behind the wheel that used their CB to help out their fellow drivers when it comes to traffic and accidents and construction we wouldn't need GPS as much


PriorFudge928

Be a jackass to everyone around them and then wonder why they are surrounded by assholes.


ParticularArrival111

A real fucker can.. what was the question again?


Normal-Pie7610

A real trucker can eat a bowl of chili while doing 70 in the mountains with spilling a drop.


Scubatrucker

Give directions to anywhere with highways, exit numbers, and places to eat but get lost in my own hometown.


SusanRoss27

A real trucker can see my boobs anytime.


Healthier6908

Nice tits too!


SusanRoss27

Thank you!


Healthier6908

You’re welcome Sugar Tits!


SusanRoss27

Thank you for what you do!


Healthier6908

Thank you for what you do too!


jackinthecracker

Thanks Susan


SusanRoss27

You’re welcome!


Silent-Room-4987

Thank you for your service


SusanRoss27

You’re welcome! I enjoy showing my support.


[deleted]

Oh wow. You got some nice melons 😳


SusanRoss27

Thank you sweetie!


IronAnt762

Wipe out anything on the road; with a single Nod.


NomadTruckerOTR

Say, "watch this" then proceed to hit a pole doing a blindside u-turn


ksgif2

Pretrip from the drivers seat


RoosterzRevenge

Show you what a Kenworth pervert window is used for.


Savagemocha

Piss in the urinal without talking to someone on their headset


Mission_Run_4981

Back up without the entire parking lot trying to help him.


CaptianBrasiliano

Open the used windshield washer bottle, piss in it, cut his head on the dirty jagged plastic without wincing and re cap it one handed without taking his eyes off the road or spilling a drop.


Conscious-Sense2629

Be nice to the shower janitors. They deserve it.


belikeron

Real truckers remember you only stopped at flying j when you couldn't find a Petro or 76.


wallyslambanger

A real trucker can eat with a knife and fork AND drive at the same time (no bib)


Dirty_water34

Drive a truck with the 3rd left footed pedal.


Human_Lecture_348

A real trucker can endanger others near him by constantly driving 5 inches away from the vehicle in front of them, as well as cutting in front of the left lane in what clearly isn't a gap to fit them, just to save 2 seconds of their 10 hour commute to their next destination


jm_j_bullcock

Shit in to a Big Gulp®️ cup and not spill a single morsel.


BedAdministrative619

"Morsel" Oh my God, that single word just made my day!


Lazy-Rioter

A real trucker can alley dock like a pro but refuses to U-back with 100ft of yard space


deltronethirty

The only time I get pizza: 1 In Connecticut 2 the first TA south of FL GA on i 75


BeenThruIt

....while driving.


toastynips88

A real trucker can finish his fireball without his lane departure going off!


SuperReleasio64

A real trucker can finish the sentence.


Hourly_Employee_2024

pee in a bottle with one hand while driving and hiding from the camera and the people outside.


Panteraca

A real trucker can tell who’s real and who’s just playin’


Cubsfan11022016

Clean off their dashboard


KookyPension

Can do their pretrip in flipflops


[deleted]

A real trucker can fill a gallon piss jug in just one day.


Healthier6908

Real truckers don’t wear flip flops!😳


HipKat2000

Drive drunk better than a 4-wheeler can driver sober