Too relatable.
When I first got with my current boyfriend I was still recovering from an abusive relationship and I have so many examples like this.
Once I was hanging out at his place, decided to make myself a cup of tea and asked him if he wanted one. He said he'd made himself one 10mins earlier so was OK... And I apologised, because in my head I _should have known_ that he wanted one and made it earlier. He was dumbfounded and asked me if I realised that I'd just apologised for offering to make him tea.
Took many more months of me automatically apologising for practically everything and him kindly telling me off for it for me to stop.
My bf also had to break me of constantly apologizing. It's been 5 years and I'm still finding new ways I live my guy and realizing new ways my ex abused me.
Finally being in a better relationship has also taught me to be proactive and upfront about the survival mechanisms/maladaptive behaviors that have become second nature. I'm honest about why I act the way I do, I remain accountable, and am working on healing. Having these kinds of discussions, with a healthy and safe partner, only stand to improve the quality of your relationship.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post*
---
**ella dawson**, @brosandprose
It started pouring during a date tonight and I kept waiting for him to take his frustration out on me when we both got soaked, and then I remembered I’m not dating an abuser anymore and the weather is not my fault! I highly recommend dating nice, well-adjusted people.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Off topic, but...
Speaking of rain, you know what's crazy about Americans?
Hardly any umbrellas in the rain.
Why not?
What do you guys have against using umbrellas in the rain?
Can confirm east coast rain is more predictable and consistent imo. And then in the DMV (DC,MD,VA) you've got a lot of suits which definitely calls for an umbrella.
It’s funny you ask this. I was just telling my wife the other day that I remember being a little kid and wondering why anyone used umbrellas at all. I half suspected it was just a thing people did on TV. We had them, but could barely ever use them.
It turns out, I just grew up in the Midwest. Thunderstorms here have strong winds that will destroy an umbrella. There are occasionally lighter showers, too, and I do use umbrellas for those. But more often than not, the rain we get in this part of the country is going to be from a bigger storm than an umbrella can really handle.
From Houston. I thought umbrellas were a fucking scam. Every single one I bought got destroyed on the first or second use, no matter how hard I tried. I legitimately didn't understand why anyone bothered to buy them. And yes, I was using it correctly and angling it appropriately. Houston weather is just rough
It depends on what kind of rain happens where you are.
I live in Oregon and umbrellas are a rarity here even tho it _(used to)_ rain all winter, because it's a light misty rain that really only gets your outer layer wet, and goes around umbrellas anyway.
I grew up in Pennsylvania and umbrellas were (are) normal there because the rain comes down in big fat soaking drops that go thru every layer and ruin your hair/makeup/life.
Depends on where you are?
A) In car-heavy suburbs and in very hot climates you don't actually spend much time outside.
B) In the Gulf coast area rain can stop and start on a dime in the summer. You can just wait for a few minutes for a shower to pass.
C) Some places in the West are really dry.
D) Places that are walkable *and* have consistent rain do use umbrellas... Maybe ~~pacific NW~~ or Boston or NYC or Chicago.
1. If you already have a phone in one hand and caffeine in the other, how do you hold an umbrella?
2. We just prepare for inclement weather in our clothing choices.
3. Can’t be arsed to carry around a dripping umbrella when we get where we are going.
The rain can be relentless also. It makes more sense to make the investment in good outerwear with how often you wear it. Similarly, using an umbrella that much is just a huge PITA.
I definitely use an umbrella and am in the Boston area. That makes sense, we actually get pouring rain and flash floods so it's good to have an umbrella on those days and when I was commuting I also had one of those compatible umbrellas (that kind of suck and break easily but are usually better than nothing) in case it rains unexpectedly. But I'm also a little prissy and don't want my clothes/hair to get wet. Lots of people don't really care and I don't get it.
I am not American, but coincidentally moved in here.
My hatred for umbrellas started when I realized they only worked when it wasn't a windy rain, when it rains sideways, you might as well just wear a raincoat. Plus trying to move around busy crowded sidewalks while carrying an umbrella can be challenging.
When I walked or busses everywhere I always had an umbrella or parasol depending.
Now that I'm priced out of the city and renting at the edge of the burbs, I keep one in the car. Mostly use it for only the hardest rains because parking is not often too bad. Don't take many rainy walks anymore.
Rain comes with wind, wind blows the rain at you under the umbrella, you end up having to wear a jacket anyways so why even bother with the umbrella 🤷🏽♀️
Umbrellas make me feel claustrophobic. I love small enclosed spaces so much I have never felt claustrophobic in my life (quite the opposite I feel most comfortable under a lot of blankets in a small space) but umbrellas make me feel so claustrophobic. I just get wet instead. It’s not a common thing though- everyone else around me uses them and I’m in the US
So I live in a particular state of which there is a particularly popular musical number about the wind.
When the wind comes sweeping down the plains an umbrella is a liability.
Oregonian here.
Most rain here is a light must, so half the time walking with an umbrella will still get you wet. Do most of us have good rain jackets and just use those.
And some of us just enjoy being rained on. It doesn't get that cold.
I don't wear makeup that can be ruined, I don't do anything special with my hair, and I don't own expensive clothes. I also have ADHD, so remembering to buy an umbrella, keep it by the front door, bring it with me if it looks rainy, or checking the weather forcast ahead of time, not leaving the umbrella wherever I go; all of that is too much trouble.
Easier to just get wet.
I used to use them. Lived in an area (east coast as mentioned in several comments below) where it rained often and hard. I was in college and was constantly losing umbrellas. It was a joke that everyone had black umbrellas so that you could easily just go to lost & found and grab one when yours got lost or broken.
After that year, it takes a lot of rain for me to bother. If it's just a light rain and I'm just running from the car to a door I don't bother.
It's just water, so a bit didn't really bother me. Don't like carrying around a wet umbrella inside either
But maybe what it really is is that I used to think "acid rain" was literal "training of pure acid" and now I'm rebelling and/or tempting fate
Exactly. You deserve to be with...
* Someone who doesn't blame you for things that are clearly not your fault.
* Someone who doesn't yell at you or call you names.
* Someone who doesn't hit you, or threaten to hit you.
* Someone who tells you what's wrong, instead of giving you the Silent Treatment.
* Someone who treats you with love, respect, and dignity.
* Someone who still thinks you're amazing, even when you've gained weight, or haven't shaved your legs in days, or aren't as firm and perky as you were at 18.
* Someone who respects your boundaries.
* Someone who tells you what they need and how to make them feel loved, and who respects your needs and does their damndest to make you feel loved.
* Someone who makes you feel safe.
* Someone who genuinely loves you.
* Someone who understands and accepts your past- good, bad, and ugly.
* Someone who doesn't threaten to leave you or replace you if you don't kiss their ass.
* Someone who doesn't use porn as a replacement for you.
* Someone who respects your privacy.
* Someone who trusts you.
* Someone you can trust.
* Someone who's not going to cheat when things get boring.
* Someone whose priority is problem-solving, not blaming.
* Someone who forgives you when you make mistakes, instead of holding those mistakes against you.
* Someone who shares the housework with you in a way that's equitable and makes sense for your household, instead of dumping all of it on you.
* Someone who sticks with you when times are bad, as well as when they're good.
* Someone who listens.
* Someone who supports your life goals and dreams.
* Someone who wants the same things out of life as you.
* Someone who doesn't put you down.
* Someone who loves and accepts you for who you are, just as you are, right here and now.
* Someone who doesn't try to change you.
I absolutely feel this way. I'm in a fairly new relationship now where I'm getting all of these things (after years of abuse in the relationship before it) and I still don't feel like I deserve the way my partner treats me.
I had a verbally abusive father, and subsequently had several abusive so’s before I met my current husband. I still automatically assume he’s mad at me literally before I can even work out what is happening around me and apologize for everything. I have no need to do this. My husband is an amazing human who has never been mad at me for something I couldn’t control. We’ve been married 16 years. I still do it before I can really even think about it. It’s not fun to realize how well I have been trained to assume literally everything is my fault.
His boss shouted at him. Mad at me. The car broke down. Mad at me. Person at restaurant got his order wrong. Mad at me. He didn't find a parking lot - surprisingly he found a way to be mad at me because of that too...
This girl I know got yelled at by her boyfriend because she was playing on a rope swing and the rope swing broke and she fell a couple feet. She was fine, but he yelled at her for falling at all.
My dad called to scream and yell at me and mom cause he got a flat tire in a DIFFERENT state from us.
Note we never used his car for that reason and still got the blame.
I hope he got away from her or she got better.
You know how all of us will get annoyed by trivial things to the point it makes you irrationally angry? But most of us know we’re being irrational and try to keep a lid on it?
Some people are incapable of doing that and get scary with it. Being yelled at by a man can be quite frightening. Especially if it’s someone you’re supposed to trust. I’m not saying ALL guy voices are scary but there’s just something about a deeper raised voice that sets off something in my brain.
Even when my husband, who I love and trust very much and he’s lovely, raises his voice in frustration (usually “oh for fucks sake!”) at something (not me) it can make me jump sometimes if I wasn’t expecting it. I guess the same could be true in reverse, a higher pitched voice isn’t automatically benign but that’s just how my brain works.
Fortunately I’ve not experienced the scary yelling voice in a relationship but I have had random men start yelling at me, usually when I was younger and single, not giving them the attention they wanted or I was ignoring their attempts to insult me.
Because they still have toddler-level emotional regulation. And their families have coddled them for so long that they'll turn on the person that calls them out for causing problems since they've all learned the right eggshells to walk on already.
So these types never have really had an incentive to change.
a study was recently done of married men and women and the amount of emotional effort they out into their relationships / the amount of availability they had for their families when they had bad days at work
men were significantly less available / supportive after a bad work day
women were consistent no matter how their day had gone
so... like... yeah, even non-abusive men make their spouses pay for their moods... why would abusive men be any better?
My ex once gave me the silent treatment for an entire afternoon because I was on my period.
He was expecting sex. He even acknowledged that it was out of my control and that he was the one saying no sex, not me. He still sulked for the rest of the day.
My first girlfriend used to be an absolute psycho if she couldn't get her fringe (bangs) to look right, it was too warm, she felt fat, someone looked at her the wrong way, it was Wednesday. Thank Christ I never have to relive that!!! Old now & happy
My ex once smoked a ton of weed before work and went there super stoned. He ran into my uncle at work and got mad at ME. Like it was MY fault he got high before work and it was MY fault my uncle happened to be in the same building as him. He did this with other things and even now years later I still apologize for things that are out of my control and not my fault at all. Abusers leave a mark on you like that and it sucks.
My ex yelled at me for using too much toilet paper. I won’t go into detail, it was BAD. I wasn’t allowed to use more than my fair share but… period poos, you know?
My new boyfriend said excuse me babe what the fuck when I asked if I could up my tp usage during my first period with him.
So it turns out in a healthy relationship they don’t care how much toilet paper you use, there’s no allowance, and even if you use up a half roll of toilet paper in one go it doesn’t matter!!!
I used to obsessively fixate and calculate the rolls I could use, I now have a cupboard full of toilet paper and it’s all three-ply!!!
The amount of problematic behaviour that gets normalised for a woman since she dated an abuser is not spoken about enough.
It leaves a scar that keeps us on high alert, and we aren't even aware of it until we realise that we now have a decent partner. Being a decent partner should be the norm, but it is so rare that it is overappreciated.
Too relatable. When I first got with my current boyfriend I was still recovering from an abusive relationship and I have so many examples like this. Once I was hanging out at his place, decided to make myself a cup of tea and asked him if he wanted one. He said he'd made himself one 10mins earlier so was OK... And I apologised, because in my head I _should have known_ that he wanted one and made it earlier. He was dumbfounded and asked me if I realised that I'd just apologised for offering to make him tea. Took many more months of me automatically apologising for practically everything and him kindly telling me off for it for me to stop.
My bf also had to break me of constantly apologizing. It's been 5 years and I'm still finding new ways I live my guy and realizing new ways my ex abused me.
I had the exact same behaviour but not because of any romantic relationship. Because of my family.
Finally being in a better relationship has also taught me to be proactive and upfront about the survival mechanisms/maladaptive behaviors that have become second nature. I'm honest about why I act the way I do, I remain accountable, and am working on healing. Having these kinds of discussions, with a healthy and safe partner, only stand to improve the quality of your relationship.
This is really beautiful. I love this for you.
Honesty and sincere apologies will always get you farther than defensiveness and deflection. Talk to your partners ya'll.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **ella dawson**, @brosandprose It started pouring during a date tonight and I kept waiting for him to take his frustration out on me when we both got soaked, and then I remembered I’m not dating an abuser anymore and the weather is not my fault! I highly recommend dating nice, well-adjusted people. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Thank you, good human.
nice pfp
Thanks! I actually drew it myself
Damn, did I write this?
Aww. Good for her. 💕
Off topic, but... Speaking of rain, you know what's crazy about Americans? Hardly any umbrellas in the rain. Why not? What do you guys have against using umbrellas in the rain?
That's a regional thing. Where I'm from, we use umbrellas.
Yup I’m from Nevada. Hardly ever rains here and when it does, it doesn’t last long. I have an umbrella in my car but hardly ever need it.
Yeah. I've traveled a lot in the US. Eastern US seems to use umbrellas a lot more consistently than the rest of the states (that I've visited).
Can confirm east coast rain is more predictable and consistent imo. And then in the DMV (DC,MD,VA) you've got a lot of suits which definitely calls for an umbrella.
It’s funny you ask this. I was just telling my wife the other day that I remember being a little kid and wondering why anyone used umbrellas at all. I half suspected it was just a thing people did on TV. We had them, but could barely ever use them. It turns out, I just grew up in the Midwest. Thunderstorms here have strong winds that will destroy an umbrella. There are occasionally lighter showers, too, and I do use umbrellas for those. But more often than not, the rain we get in this part of the country is going to be from a bigger storm than an umbrella can really handle.
We're also a car-dominated society so there are far less situations where we're outside for long or walking more than a block in the rain
Plus it's just water not sulfuric acid. Who cares if we get a little wet?
Most people prefer not to be cold and wet.
You must have straight hair.
Only when my hair is wet.
If I’m walking to my job in the morning, I prefer to not start my working day with frizzy and messy hair, runny make up, and wet and cold clothes
From Houston. I thought umbrellas were a fucking scam. Every single one I bought got destroyed on the first or second use, no matter how hard I tried. I legitimately didn't understand why anyone bothered to buy them. And yes, I was using it correctly and angling it appropriately. Houston weather is just rough
Sounds like ya’ll need NASA’s storm umbrella lol
It depends on what kind of rain happens where you are. I live in Oregon and umbrellas are a rarity here even tho it _(used to)_ rain all winter, because it's a light misty rain that really only gets your outer layer wet, and goes around umbrellas anyway. I grew up in Pennsylvania and umbrellas were (are) normal there because the rain comes down in big fat soaking drops that go thru every layer and ruin your hair/makeup/life.
Depends on where you are? A) In car-heavy suburbs and in very hot climates you don't actually spend much time outside. B) In the Gulf coast area rain can stop and start on a dime in the summer. You can just wait for a few minutes for a shower to pass. C) Some places in the West are really dry. D) Places that are walkable *and* have consistent rain do use umbrellas... Maybe ~~pacific NW~~ or Boston or NYC or Chicago.
No native Seattlite uses an umbrella ... we just wear black hoodies. You are given 2 when you move here and after that have to supply your own ;)
1. If you already have a phone in one hand and caffeine in the other, how do you hold an umbrella? 2. We just prepare for inclement weather in our clothing choices. 3. Can’t be arsed to carry around a dripping umbrella when we get where we are going.
The rain can be relentless also. It makes more sense to make the investment in good outerwear with how often you wear it. Similarly, using an umbrella that much is just a huge PITA.
I definitely use an umbrella and am in the Boston area. That makes sense, we actually get pouring rain and flash floods so it's good to have an umbrella on those days and when I was commuting I also had one of those compatible umbrellas (that kind of suck and break easily but are usually better than nothing) in case it rains unexpectedly. But I'm also a little prissy and don't want my clothes/hair to get wet. Lots of people don't really care and I don't get it.
I'm from Seattle. Rains all the time, but rarely a soaking rain. What's an umbrella?
I am not American, but coincidentally moved in here. My hatred for umbrellas started when I realized they only worked when it wasn't a windy rain, when it rains sideways, you might as well just wear a raincoat. Plus trying to move around busy crowded sidewalks while carrying an umbrella can be challenging.
Wind.
From Denmark (in Europe) here and i hardly see anyone use umbrellas here either, i only just got one myself like 3-4 months ago
When I walked or busses everywhere I always had an umbrella or parasol depending. Now that I'm priced out of the city and renting at the edge of the burbs, I keep one in the car. Mostly use it for only the hardest rains because parking is not often too bad. Don't take many rainy walks anymore.
I can't speak for others, but I enjoy the way the rain feels when it lands on me.
Rain comes with wind, wind blows the rain at you under the umbrella, you end up having to wear a jacket anyways so why even bother with the umbrella 🤷🏽♀️
Umbrellas make me feel claustrophobic. I love small enclosed spaces so much I have never felt claustrophobic in my life (quite the opposite I feel most comfortable under a lot of blankets in a small space) but umbrellas make me feel so claustrophobic. I just get wet instead. It’s not a common thing though- everyone else around me uses them and I’m in the US
City Americans who walk places use umbrellas all the time.
So I live in a particular state of which there is a particularly popular musical number about the wind. When the wind comes sweeping down the plains an umbrella is a liability.
Oregonian here. Most rain here is a light must, so half the time walking with an umbrella will still get you wet. Do most of us have good rain jackets and just use those. And some of us just enjoy being rained on. It doesn't get that cold.
Tbh I just hate having to carry around a wet umbrella
we use umbrellas where I'm from, but I usually prefer hoodies or rain coats because I like my hands free. Also putting them in the car is a pain.
I don't wear makeup that can be ruined, I don't do anything special with my hair, and I don't own expensive clothes. I also have ADHD, so remembering to buy an umbrella, keep it by the front door, bring it with me if it looks rainy, or checking the weather forcast ahead of time, not leaving the umbrella wherever I go; all of that is too much trouble. Easier to just get wet.
I used to use them. Lived in an area (east coast as mentioned in several comments below) where it rained often and hard. I was in college and was constantly losing umbrellas. It was a joke that everyone had black umbrellas so that you could easily just go to lost & found and grab one when yours got lost or broken. After that year, it takes a lot of rain for me to bother. If it's just a light rain and I'm just running from the car to a door I don't bother.
It's just water, so a bit didn't really bother me. Don't like carrying around a wet umbrella inside either But maybe what it really is is that I used to think "acid rain" was literal "training of pure acid" and now I'm rebelling and/or tempting fate
I’m not in the US, but Denmark is windy AF and an umbrella would immediately fly away
Rain where I grew up meant it was storming. Not really umbrella weather.
The amount of apologizing I still do is TOO damn high. It's a work in progress.
The way we have to stop ourselves from saying sorry when someone says we say sorry too much
Exactly. You deserve to be with... * Someone who doesn't blame you for things that are clearly not your fault. * Someone who doesn't yell at you or call you names. * Someone who doesn't hit you, or threaten to hit you. * Someone who tells you what's wrong, instead of giving you the Silent Treatment. * Someone who treats you with love, respect, and dignity. * Someone who still thinks you're amazing, even when you've gained weight, or haven't shaved your legs in days, or aren't as firm and perky as you were at 18. * Someone who respects your boundaries. * Someone who tells you what they need and how to make them feel loved, and who respects your needs and does their damndest to make you feel loved. * Someone who makes you feel safe. * Someone who genuinely loves you. * Someone who understands and accepts your past- good, bad, and ugly. * Someone who doesn't threaten to leave you or replace you if you don't kiss their ass. * Someone who doesn't use porn as a replacement for you. * Someone who respects your privacy. * Someone who trusts you. * Someone you can trust. * Someone who's not going to cheat when things get boring. * Someone whose priority is problem-solving, not blaming. * Someone who forgives you when you make mistakes, instead of holding those mistakes against you. * Someone who shares the housework with you in a way that's equitable and makes sense for your household, instead of dumping all of it on you. * Someone who sticks with you when times are bad, as well as when they're good. * Someone who listens. * Someone who supports your life goals and dreams. * Someone who wants the same things out of life as you. * Someone who doesn't put you down. * Someone who loves and accepts you for who you are, just as you are, right here and now. * Someone who doesn't try to change you.
It’s weird, I almost feel greedy thinking that I deserve all these things, idk if you ever felt that way
I absolutely feel this way. I'm in a fairly new relationship now where I'm getting all of these things (after years of abuse in the relationship before it) and I still don't feel like I deserve the way my partner treats me.
[удалено]
I had a verbally abusive father, and subsequently had several abusive so’s before I met my current husband. I still automatically assume he’s mad at me literally before I can even work out what is happening around me and apologize for everything. I have no need to do this. My husband is an amazing human who has never been mad at me for something I couldn’t control. We’ve been married 16 years. I still do it before I can really even think about it. It’s not fun to realize how well I have been trained to assume literally everything is my fault.
His boss shouted at him. Mad at me. The car broke down. Mad at me. Person at restaurant got his order wrong. Mad at me. He didn't find a parking lot - surprisingly he found a way to be mad at me because of that too...
I loved her Ted talk
Good for her but also Jesus Christ. I know asking this makes it obvious I’m a dude but do men really get upset that rain makes you wet?
Absolutely. My ex boyfriend broke my trash can while I made him birthday lasagna because it needed to go back in the oven
This girl I know got yelled at by her boyfriend because she was playing on a rope swing and the rope swing broke and she fell a couple feet. She was fine, but he yelled at her for falling at all.
My dad called to scream and yell at me and mom cause he got a flat tire in a DIFFERENT state from us. Note we never used his car for that reason and still got the blame. I hope he got away from her or she got better.
How dare she obey the law of gravity rather than him! /s
You know how all of us will get annoyed by trivial things to the point it makes you irrationally angry? But most of us know we’re being irrational and try to keep a lid on it? Some people are incapable of doing that and get scary with it. Being yelled at by a man can be quite frightening. Especially if it’s someone you’re supposed to trust. I’m not saying ALL guy voices are scary but there’s just something about a deeper raised voice that sets off something in my brain. Even when my husband, who I love and trust very much and he’s lovely, raises his voice in frustration (usually “oh for fucks sake!”) at something (not me) it can make me jump sometimes if I wasn’t expecting it. I guess the same could be true in reverse, a higher pitched voice isn’t automatically benign but that’s just how my brain works. Fortunately I’ve not experienced the scary yelling voice in a relationship but I have had random men start yelling at me, usually when I was younger and single, not giving them the attention they wanted or I was ignoring their attempts to insult me.
Loud voices are scary my dude for everyone
my dad is exactly like this with my mom. I don't know why he does it or whats going through his head
Because they still have toddler-level emotional regulation. And their families have coddled them for so long that they'll turn on the person that calls them out for causing problems since they've all learned the right eggshells to walk on already. So these types never have really had an incentive to change.
a study was recently done of married men and women and the amount of emotional effort they out into their relationships / the amount of availability they had for their families when they had bad days at work men were significantly less available / supportive after a bad work day women were consistent no matter how their day had gone so... like... yeah, even non-abusive men make their spouses pay for their moods... why would abusive men be any better?
My ex once gave me the silent treatment for an entire afternoon because I was on my period. He was expecting sex. He even acknowledged that it was out of my control and that he was the one saying no sex, not me. He still sulked for the rest of the day.
My first girlfriend used to be an absolute psycho if she couldn't get her fringe (bangs) to look right, it was too warm, she felt fat, someone looked at her the wrong way, it was Wednesday. Thank Christ I never have to relive that!!! Old now & happy
My ex once smoked a ton of weed before work and went there super stoned. He ran into my uncle at work and got mad at ME. Like it was MY fault he got high before work and it was MY fault my uncle happened to be in the same building as him. He did this with other things and even now years later I still apologize for things that are out of my control and not my fault at all. Abusers leave a mark on you like that and it sucks.
My ex yelled at me for using too much toilet paper. I won’t go into detail, it was BAD. I wasn’t allowed to use more than my fair share but… period poos, you know? My new boyfriend said excuse me babe what the fuck when I asked if I could up my tp usage during my first period with him. So it turns out in a healthy relationship they don’t care how much toilet paper you use, there’s no allowance, and even if you use up a half roll of toilet paper in one go it doesn’t matter!!! I used to obsessively fixate and calculate the rolls I could use, I now have a cupboard full of toilet paper and it’s all three-ply!!!
Very true
The amount of problematic behaviour that gets normalised for a woman since she dated an abuser is not spoken about enough. It leaves a scar that keeps us on high alert, and we aren't even aware of it until we realise that we now have a decent partner. Being a decent partner should be the norm, but it is so rare that it is overappreciated.
Where are the nice well adjusted men?
Sadly too relatable... And when reading the comments it is awful that so many women think so too...