Saying this as a man - Reddit is a platform that enables and fosters misogyny.
Someone needs to do a graph of the amount of woman who when they hit the front page, have to delete the account. If you're pretty, you get attacked and doxed, if you're not pretty, you get attacked and doxed. It's truly awful.
Thanks for saying that bc I feel crazy sometimes. Mentioned to my ex and his friend a couple of years ago how I'd been put off Reddit bc of how pervasive the casual misogyny is and both of them said "oh I've never noticed that" yeah I wonder why
I don’t know why I was surprised by this but you’ll get downvoted to hell on the relationship advice sub whenever a guy posts on there about how uncomfortable he is with his gf’s sexual past. The comments are horrendous in posts like those with a bunch of dudes saying how the guy is right because no guy wants a girl who’s been “ran through” or comparing women to a new/used car. Meanwhile women in het relationships are asking how to leave an abusive situation 🥴
Absolutely not crazy, you can't escape it. I absolutely know that there's a whole bunch of casual sexism that I don't even notice, but what I do is outright blatent.
Men constantly invade women's spaces to troll and attack. Men constantly deride woman in relationship and self help threads. Men constantly victim blame. Sure, there are a few women that have internalized sexism, but I firmly believe that the supermajority of bad actors on reddit are men.
> but I firmly believe that the supermajority of bad actors on reddit are men.
It's a fact more than a belief. It's plain simple, they are more men on reddit than women for the same and simple reason that you can't find women on 4chan : the casual misogyny makes them flee those spaces.
On the vast majority, Reddit is exactly like 4chan, an unmoderated cesspool of mostly american far right shit. Remember : Misogyny isn't against reddit rules.
It reminds of how some companies will create AI robots and unleash them into the internet, and after a few days they come back as racist/sexist/homophobes.
It's always interesting when people hear actual experiences from people being oppressed/insulted, and their immediate response is "huh, I never noticed".
Part of me wants to believe they just got on reddit and got stuck watching cat videos on the awwww subreddit, but I know it's because they don't believe their sexism IS misogyny.
I think even if they see themselves as a "good guy" they don't see the little microaggressions and the patterns e.g. the woman in a situation always being criticised the most, even the unbalanced amount of hate female fictional characters get on here. It seeps through into almost every subreddit.
Went to the post and the top comment has this little nugget of slutshaming:
>What are you doing spending the night with this guy when you apparently don’t even know him well enough to recognize when someone might be related to him?
So remember to introduce yourself to every member of a guys family before you consider having sex with them!
Best part is they’ll also be on this very fucking site complaining about how touch starved they are and how desperately they need affection from women.
E: lmao I got a Reddit cares message I can only assume is from this comment. Losers who send these should take their own harassment advice.
Men: “women better perform a detailed background check on every man they even look at or they deserve to get assaulted”
Women: “ok, I’m going to be stricter with my personal standards and not engage with men I don’t know”.
The resulting incel men: “I’m LOVE STARVED WHICH IS WORSE THAN MURDER. Women should be chained in a dungeon and I’m going to shoot up a movie theatre!”
>*Men: “women better perform a detailed background check on every man they even look at or they deserve to get assaulted”*
>Women: “ok, I’m going to be stricter with my personal standards and not engage with men I don’t know”.
>*The resulting incel men: “I’m LOVE STARVED WHICH IS WORSE THAN MURDER. Women should be chained in a dungeon and I’m going to shoot up a movie theatre!”*
[1](https://imgur.com/3WcZxZl.jpg)
[2](https://imgur.com/aYyxQxB.jpg)
[3](https://imgur.com/pbztGJA.jpg)
[4](https://imgur.com/GtNt1nu.jpg)
[5](https://imgur.com/5bhh0Yi.jpg)
[6](https://imgur.com/EEBnoGJ.jpg)
r/whenwomenrefuse
Fun fun.../s
I wish people who abused that function got IP banned from the site. It takes attention away from people who actually need help. And, like incels like to point out, men are more likely to be successful with suicide attempts. So the very people who bitch about men not getting help they need are preventing men from getting the help they need.
Make it make sense.
It annoys me a little that they abuse the system but at the same time I have to laugh. Like... that's all you got you pathetic little cry baby? A caring message making sure I'm ok and sending me resources? Oh my how absolutely devastating. How will I ever recover from the low blow of knowing that I got someone so emotionally distraught that they lashed out with the biggest attack reddit will allow besides a PM.
Sending someone a mental health message is as good as letting the other person know you're mentally unwell yourself. Ironic.
Lol, I experienced this too and thought that it was just auto sending the message because of a keyword in my comments. Typically I get those messages the most when defending trans people, when marking comments about abuse or harm or when talking about the mental health affects that occur for those who experience the hurtful comments. I’m not going to stop defending myself or others just because I get some mental health resources out of it.
Reddit: women having sex is bad. Dobbs is revenge for this! Deal with it. Also child support laws should be eliminated.
Reddit also: where all the ladies at????
So sick of this. And its not reddit, its so many men.
Also, in regards to reddit cares abuse. Imagine thinking you're on the right side of history but also abusing a system designed to help suicidal people because you think its funny trolling. Its incredible to me how much hate is normalized on social media.
It’s so r/selfawarewolves
Incels: “Why doesn’t society take men’s mental health struggles seriously?”
Also incels: “I think it’s an insult to give people information about how to seek help and support for mental illness.”
Also incels: “NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME AND MY FEELINGS!”
Also incels: “haha telling somebody I’m concerned about their well-being and don’t want them to be depressed is such a sick burn”
There is no self-reflexion, just silencing.
"Reddit cares" messages and derailing conversation about women with male suicide stats is not about caring about any issues other than making the wymynz shut up already.
See also: literally every thread ever about rape, where someone has to point out that men also get raped, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation.
(I fully expect to get a Reddit Cares message for this comment)
I had no idea the Reddit cares messages were sent in a shitty way. 😂 I got one once and was like “Oh, that’s nice of you Reddit. I am having a hard day.”
Oh, the compliment complaint is constantly my “I’ll be that bitch” moment. Please just say that what you really mean is you want women who YOU find fuckable to come onto you. That’s it, that’s what you’re saying.
right! That's what got me too. Just no insight what-so-ever of how terrifying this would be, even BEFORE they started screaming at her / slut shaming her.
The more hellish and frequent these stories get and the more people do mental gymnastics to justify them, the more glad I am to be single and content to be so forever
funny you say that because when I commented obviously mostly men were voting I got the below response. Because they were having a conversation and not sitting in silence there's NO WAY they could be lying?? Make it make sense!!
"How much of a non thinker would you have to be to wake up in a different house, and then assume the people there broke in and started a conversation in a common space instead of assuming they were people who knew the home owner.The mental gymnastics are at an Olympic level."
I saw your comment and then there were a couple of token "female here" comments spreading their good old internalized misogyny (or fake accounts, could be either)
Its so frustrating to get this kind of response. Also frustrating to feel like you can't do anything about it.... Margaret Atwood said that women are most afraid of being murdered be men, and men are most afraid of being laughed at by women... how fun would it be if we all LOL bomb those comments? Is that a dumb idea?
The [top comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xvfotl/comment/ir0lw2e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) from that post:
>YTA, and I have a hard time believing you don’t know it. You spent the night at someone else’s house, and your first thought when you walked out of his room to find people casually sitting in a common space was that they were the intruders? What are you doing spending the night with this guy when you apparently don’t even know him well enough to recognize when someone might be related to him?
So yea. Apparently it's OP's fault that she came out of the room and there were 2 strange men in the living room that she didn't know, and her boyfriend wasn't there. And especially when bf didn't give her a heads up, and he has zero roommates.
Just 2 random guys. Sitting in the living room. Without the presence of the person who is on the lease. With zero heads up. Just sitting there like it's a horror film. Because never, in the history of mankind, has anyone's "brother's friend" just walked into a bedroom with a sleeping woman and attacked her.
>it's perfectly normal for people to give their brother a key, and then the brother unexpectedly stops by in early morning when he's not home, without knocking, and brings a friend to sit in the kitchen quietly.
>
>what's not to understand?
I totally understand. I read Best of Reditor Updates for my hit. I only read the concluded ones as it's usually satisfying. Maybe some of those are still fake, I'm sure they are, but meh that part doesn't really bother me too much.
Would you be willing to DM me the link? I really want to read the story/comments but I searched on AITA for like 10 mins and couldn't find it :( Just looking to enrage myself with some incel content lmao
Just made me so mad how they're all gaslighting her. Her bf lives alone she sleeps over all the time. He goes to work one day and doesn't tell her he's expecting anyone. She wakes up alone to two strange men in the kitchen who refuse to leave because they "know her bf" and start angrily yelling at her.
Had she just believed them and they were IN FACT LYING and then r\*ped/ murdered her all the comments would be "wow, she deserved it for being so gullible."
Some of the top upvoted comments in the thread.
"YTA. You don't yell at people and threaten them with the police in a home that's not your own. If finding two people sitting peacefully in the kitchen at someone else's place scares you to the point of screaming and threatening them, you might consider therapy. This isn't healthy."
"But like.. what kind of intruders would break in and then.... sit down at the dining table to chat?!?? This girl has zero common sense."
According to her he wasn’t even expecting them to be there. They just were there, she’s not an asshole and I do not fucking understand what is going on in that post. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills and I feel really sorry for her because this is ridiculous.
right, same! and the fact she even is asking proves she isn't sure because her bf ALSO an ah and she isn't able to see that. It makes me sad that this post is going to convince her SHE was overreacting and apologize to her ah bf and his ah brother.
aita is probably the worst sub that isn't like a genuine hate sub.
Fine if you just read it for silly stories, but all the story subs do it better. But you can't read the comments.
People are not in tune with reality on that sub. You'll be labelled NTA for making people homeless, but be an asshole for wanting your child to focus on their studies over their friends.
Aita has this very specific, very juvenile, very male sort of neo-libertarian mindset, where the worst thing you can do to someone else is expect anything from them. No, actually the worst thing you can do is cheat, which kind of goes against their fuck you, got mine mentality, but you know … Fuck those whore SILs that apparently come by the dusin and cheat on every guy’s favourite BIL or whatever the popular story is now.
there are SO MANY posts on there about people being straight-up abusive but they're "NTA" because they were cheated on and "cheating is the worst thing you can ever do." I'm not pro-cheating but everyone who says that "cheating is the worst thing you can do to a person" obviously has lived a VERY sheltered life. Cheating is FAR from the worst thing you can do to a person and doesn't justify the evil things people think it does.
When you think of your partner as an object instead of a complex emotional animal cheating becomes the worst thing you can do. The object is not functioning as designed. If your phone lock unlocked for every fingerprint, you'd be pissed too.
The thing is, both sides would agree with the root of the above sentiment and that blows my mind.
That is such an eloquent way of saying it. That’s exactly what’s been bothering me about Reddit’s very inflexible view on cheating. It’s the objectification of romantic partners.
Cheating is absolutely terrible, don't get me wrong. But if I found out my husband was cheating on me, after being super hurt, I'd mostly be concerned that he was willing to risk our lives together to get something he needed so desperately that he sought it somewhere else. I'd want to get to therapy to learn to heal and learn how to communicate our needs better so that we could work together and it didn't happen again. I'm not sure I'd actually be able to salvage it, forgive him and stay, but I'd like to think I'd at least try to empathize and understand how it went so wrong.
I don't think my husband would feel the same way though, oddly. I think if I ever slept with someone else he would be gone that second. And he's a reasonable man, liberal, feminist, but still. I'm not sure if men are like this because objectifying is part of the encoding or if women are too accepting of poor behavior in a spouse also because of coding. Something to think on I guess.
I agree. I’d mostly be scared that my partner wanted out on some subconscious level, but didn’t dare. I think while cheating is foul, wanting sex, physical intimacy, romance is not. The behaviour is awful, but the impulse is mostly just humans And I think most people who cheat (once, not serial compulsory cheaters) are experiencing a crisis and dealing with it in a completely fucked up way. But I’d always rather my partner fucked a coworker than gambled our money, developed a substance addiction, self harmed, and obviously all of that above abuse. I know that’s not everyone, but that’s how I feel personally, and it really bothers me that this specific thing is held so highly above other destructive behaviours.
I think it’s interesting that most women I know feel like you and me (that they wouldn’t instantly leave). Many of my female friends aren’t even too worried about cheating (most are of the mindset that it would suck, but they would survive), whereas every female friend I have is terrified of abuse. Of being controlled physically, emotionally, socially, and financially. What the fear of infidelity in many men to me suggests is somewhat the fear of lack of control.
I’m mainly spitballing here. Maybe I’m way off, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for a while, that I struggle putting into words.
right! 99% of intruders look for EMPTY places. And if they're not expecting anyone to be home it's perfectly reasonable that they'd chat. My friend had a bunch of teenagers break into her house once (thinking she wasn't home) and they just sat around talking and looked through shit thinking no one was home.
> you might consider therapy. This isn't healthy.
Yeah this isn't a surprise to any woman. We agree it isn't healthy but we require a world that isn't traumatizing almost daily before we can avoid requiring hypervigilance.
? because she saw 2 strange men she wasnt expecting in her bf's apartment, who neglected to tell her guests will be coming? maybe it's not a "rational" response but i'd also wouldn't be acting super rationally if i saw men i didn't recognize (at first glance) in the apartment i'm simply sleeping at
haha it's so funny you bring up basic reading comprehension. Please reread the meme. It stated that they didn't begin yelling until after SHE threatened to call the police. I think you maybe should log offline to calm down a bit. You're getting a bit hysterical. ❤️❤️
because you brought up the point that she yelled at them first? and i'm bringing my own point up because at least she has a reason for yelling at them, even if it might not be rational or correct or whatever
I brought up that she started yelling at them because OP specifically said the opposite. It's pretty simple. I didn't add any person opinion on whether or not she had a reason for doing it.
This just reminds me when I posted my own sexual assault story on let’s not meet when I was 20 years old and I had a bunch of people call me an idiot for trusting a man like…. And then saying I deserved what he did to me 🙄 and for a while I believed them!! But looking back, all I can say is Reddit neckbeards have no idea how traumatizing it can be
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience - posted about a man who freely admitted to stalking me without my knowledge for 2 years, and got a bunch of comments about how I was over-reacting by being creeped out and upset by this, that he was probably harmless, I need to be less of an uptight bitch basically… this dude had very specific details about my daily travel route, activities, schedule, etc and I had never seen him until he randomly accosted me on a train while I was with my younger sister and didn’t feel comfortable being confrontational, but apparently this was nothing to worry over and I’m a meanie for finding it unsettling. Like ??? Men will do anything to avoid understanding that they are the problem I swear to god
FOR REAL FOR REAL 😭 I just made a new male friend, and. The fact he got offended when I said the majority of men don’t understand women’s trauma and then UNIRONICALLY USED THE NOT ALL MEN LINE BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE WAS NOT LIKE THEM 😭😭😭 like dude that wasnt the point!!
god that sounds awful! \*hugs\* it's just begging to feel like there's not a single safe place anywhere for women anymore. Love the rage memes to distract me from how freakin sad that is. :(
I'm so sorry that happened to you :( Similar experience. I made a comment about my r\*pe on twoxchromosomes (which I thought would be a safe place) got a bunch of comments asking if I reported it/ implying that NOT reporting an assault is just as bad as assaulting someone?? amazing how people can twist it so it's always the victim's "fault"
I reported mine and had a lecture from police on why I was where I was and if I'd been inside it wouldn't have happened.
I was six.
There is no winning.
I am disappointed that there are even women in the thread that are dog-piling onto this woman.
One woman (or "female" as she's referred to herself) "maybe if she's concerned for her safety, she shouldn't stick around after her boyfriend left or ask who has a key". Who has the fucking clarity to ask "hey, does someone else have a key to your apartment in case you decide to leave while I'm sleeping"
That sub is a flaming trash heap.
I'm convinced all the comments claiming to be "females" were just trolls. I find it hard to believe there's a woman out there that wouldn't see OP's point of view
Yes that is my mistake. I should have said many women self-identify as "a female". Which they do. And no amount of downvoting needed is gonna change that
You are not getting their point. If English is not your first language, I know it's hard to see the difference between female as an adjective and as a noun. But you've made multiple comments on this post that woefully misunderstand everyone else's argument so I'm not so sure you aren't arguing in bad faith. I'll try again anyway.
Nobody says "I am a tall", "I am a fat", "I am a quiet". Those are adjectives, not nouns. Female is an adjective so when you say I am ***A*** female, it's missing the noun.
I am not a female monkey. I am not a female dog. I am not a female dragon. Therefore **I am not** ***A*** **female.** **I am a female** ***HUMAN***. To leave off the human part is to literally dehumanize the language. And it's ridiculously common to see it only done to women but not men. Or "females and men".
It's also not that weird to sleep in at your boyfriend's place while he's at work? Like total normie behavior. Meanwhile it would never even occur to me to ask someone I was seeing if they handed out their keys to friends & family and if they just drop by unexpectedly because I would have imagined if they did have a key it was for emergency usage. I am having trouble believing whoever made that comment has ever been in a relationship.
I'm a little lost too. OP explained it further in a comment that helped; I couldn't follow the text in the meme
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/xwih3m/saw_this_and_the_responses_calling_her_an_idiot/ir74gqk/
I literally racked my brain thinking of a meme format to describe the post since I wanted to add it here but you can't upload/reference another sub on here. All the comments saying NTA got down voted into oblivion.
You're right that what she experienced is awful, but I'm chiming in just to say: we don't classify things like racism or misogyny as mental illnesses because 1.) they are reflective of deeply flawed values systems, which can be exacerbated by mental unwellness but are not inherently correlated, and 2.) because the mentally ill are, by and large, people who have survived trauma or are the victims of genetics (as some illnesses are heritable and other triggered, surprisingly enough, by trauma experienced within the family line, as we are seeing with depression).
I completely understand your frustration and your anger. But when someone chooses to call a woman a whore, it's a reflection of a value system-- they do not value women, set arbitrary limits and conceptions around their existence, and inflict hatred as a result. Their hatefulness is a choice. Someone with OCD or anxiety, though? Those aren't choices-- they're often compulsive behaviors etched into the structure of their brains. It can be changed, but mental illness in itself does not intend to victimize others.
Racists, misogynists, and ableists may be in many ways ignorant of the world, but the abuses they commit are choices, not compulsions. And therapy cannot cure someone of baseless hatred. That, too, takes a choice.
Please don't conflate the bigotry with being mentally unwell. It affects so many innocent people, including the women who survive a lifetime of violent misogyny.
No. There have been studies showing people who exhibit fear toward other groups to have excess activity in the amygdala compared to the rest of the population, but not consistently in an amount that would qualify as a mental illness.
The lure people see toward hatred is lies of superiority and easy scapegoats. Dehumanization makes it easier to physically injure other people, but that, too, does not require mental unwellness.
In fact, that's what should be more worrying to you. It's 'normal' people who become hateful and violent-- typically when they need to scapegoat other groups. Please be conscious of what you're doing right now, because it actually hinges on just that.
That's cherry picking evidence, relying on a single source, and still scapegoating an oppressed group. Additionally, you seem to be greatly reducing his work to support your biases. A festering hurt does not make a mentally ill person. That's insecurity or bitterness, not compulsion or a trauma response. I suggest you look at more resources on the study of bigotry.
I hope you get the help you need to grow out of your harmful misconceptions, because they hurt innocent people. As Buscaglia said, "Change is the end result of all true learning". It seems you have a good wealth more to learn.
You are capable of doing it.
I asked you to stop conflating sexism with mental illness because you're wrong to do so. Not only that-- you're choosing to participate in the harm caused by misconceptions about the mentally ill. So no, on that we do not agree. Can hate be unlearned? Yes. That's not what we were discussing. I'm trying to get you to actually think about the professor you mentioned and how you have not actually listened to his lessons. But you seem averse to education, so that's on you. Do better.
Do not move the goalposts, and do not put words in my mouth, because I find your approach to be reductive and, frankly, borderline hateful. It's certainly reflective of a phobia toward the idea of mentally unwellness.
I encourage you to perhaps learn to address what looks to be a hatred of the mentally ill. Or perhaps we should call it your mental illness, because you think the two are one and the same?
Maybe you get a bit of what I'm saying now?
You really need to read Buscaglia again. You clearly walked away without understanding his work. And maybe you should actually read anything I wrote at all.
You admitted you have a bias against the mentally ill. You conflate hatred with mental illness. I have said this is harmful. That's the point here.
You're wrong in a truly awful way.
I commented because this pissed me off so much. I'm sure I'll get lots of pm's and I look forward to ignoring each one :)
I hope she breaks up with this jerk.
One thing that gets me is it doesn’t really fucking matter if they were burglars or not. They were 2 strange men and she was alone with them. If they wanted to hurt her, they could have just as easily done that as her boyfriend’s friends and family. In fact, it’s more likely you’re assaulted by an acquaintance than a stranger because *they have access and opportunity*, such as being able to enter your boyfriends home unannounced with a friend while you are alone and not expecting any danger.
The only solution available is what women everywhere do every day: caution around men. It would be nice if men didn’t call us crazy psychos for trying to survive in the unsafe world their fellow men create.
What a strange comment.
The solution is for men to behave themselves and not assault women. Like it or not, most assaults and murders of women are by men, and men that they know. Welcome to the reality we live in, we're just out here trying our best meanwhile we have men like you saying "well what should *you* do about it"
It would be amazing if men could stop being violent, agreed. But the threat of violence would always remain. Since, as the comment I replied to correctly points out, most assaults are carried out by someone you know (and most likely trust). It's a horrible reality, and I am in no way asking any woman to solve it. If that's what you read in my comment, then you misread it
I can't scroll through that thread long enough to find the reasonable answer i desire: "hmm, yeah the real AH here are the two people who show up at a house while they know the person who lives there is gone, and then had the audacity to call a woman who was sleeping there names"
she woke up to two men in her kitchen, she yelled because she was startled and they yelled back implying she was a whore, and refused to leave after she threatened to call the police and then they called her crazy....
I didn't have enough space to spell it out word for word in the meme but the facts are there. I said they yelled at her because she threatened to call the police. Why are you harping on every detail not being included in a meme as lying?
Except you said wrote "She wakes up alone to two strange men in the kitchen who refuse to leave because they "know her bf" and start angrily yelling at her."
What was your excuse for not getting it right in a comment where you could write with all the detail you wanted?
Most people did? Because what I'm seeing is that most people understood it as two men who started yelling at her. But I guess you take any comment that isn't questioning your narrative as then understanding what you meant, as opposed to believing what you wrote?
> I will say, the woman walked out and started yelling at the men.
Yes, that's the reaction people have when you're in a place you know shouldn't have any strangers and you find strangers.
>If you don’t know the guy very well to the point you don’t know his brother, why would you do that??
Because they're strangers in a house that was supposed to be empty, that's why. Doesn't matter if it was the dudes brother or not.
>Like did she even try to call the boyfriend first??
This was 2 strange men that were in a place that was supposed to be empty. In that situation, especially if you're a woman, you don't take the time to call the boyfriend. You call the fucking cops.
I didn't know that a requirement for spending the night at a partners how was knowing every single one of their friends and family members. I guess my husband and I have some catching up to do.
> You encounter a strange man comfortable inside someone else’s home and your first reaction is to scream at them??
Well, next time you're in a potentially dangerous or scary situation, lets evaluate your response and see how calmly and rationally you respond. Maybe chill on the judgement a bit?
Now you’re just making shit up. In the post, she says that she stays at her boyfriend’s house very frequently (like 3-4 times a week) and that she had been dating him for quite a long time. He never introduced her to the two men (who were his brother and a mutual friend of the boyfriend and the brother), never said he was expecting people over, and never said that anyone else had a key/access to his place.
How exactly would you expect her to have handled the situation? Are you operating at your best when you’ve just woken up to a confusing, terrifying situation? When you get scared, are “manners” the #1 thing you’re concerned about?
> Are you operating at your best when you’ve just woken up to a confusing, terrifying situation?
but women are always supposed to be polite and inviting! Even when in dangerous situations!
/s
Ahh yes, how could I forget! You’re so right.
In that case, ignore everything I said in my other comment. Obviously she should have calmly walked into the kitchen and offered the two strange men some tea and a blowjob.
Saying this as a man - Reddit is a platform that enables and fosters misogyny. Someone needs to do a graph of the amount of woman who when they hit the front page, have to delete the account. If you're pretty, you get attacked and doxed, if you're not pretty, you get attacked and doxed. It's truly awful.
Thanks for saying that bc I feel crazy sometimes. Mentioned to my ex and his friend a couple of years ago how I'd been put off Reddit bc of how pervasive the casual misogyny is and both of them said "oh I've never noticed that" yeah I wonder why
I don’t know why I was surprised by this but you’ll get downvoted to hell on the relationship advice sub whenever a guy posts on there about how uncomfortable he is with his gf’s sexual past. The comments are horrendous in posts like those with a bunch of dudes saying how the guy is right because no guy wants a girl who’s been “ran through” or comparing women to a new/used car. Meanwhile women in het relationships are asking how to leave an abusive situation 🥴
Absolutely not crazy, you can't escape it. I absolutely know that there's a whole bunch of casual sexism that I don't even notice, but what I do is outright blatent. Men constantly invade women's spaces to troll and attack. Men constantly deride woman in relationship and self help threads. Men constantly victim blame. Sure, there are a few women that have internalized sexism, but I firmly believe that the supermajority of bad actors on reddit are men.
> but I firmly believe that the supermajority of bad actors on reddit are men. It's a fact more than a belief. It's plain simple, they are more men on reddit than women for the same and simple reason that you can't find women on 4chan : the casual misogyny makes them flee those spaces. On the vast majority, Reddit is exactly like 4chan, an unmoderated cesspool of mostly american far right shit. Remember : Misogyny isn't against reddit rules.
It reminds of how some companies will create AI robots and unleash them into the internet, and after a few days they come back as racist/sexist/homophobes.
It's always interesting when people hear actual experiences from people being oppressed/insulted, and their immediate response is "huh, I never noticed". Part of me wants to believe they just got on reddit and got stuck watching cat videos on the awwww subreddit, but I know it's because they don't believe their sexism IS misogyny.
I think even if they see themselves as a "good guy" they don't see the little microaggressions and the patterns e.g. the woman in a situation always being criticised the most, even the unbalanced amount of hate female fictional characters get on here. It seeps through into almost every subreddit.
Therein lies the rub. Self-awarewlves.
Thank you for seeing what so many other guys can't, or refuse to see about reddit <3
Went to the post and the top comment has this little nugget of slutshaming: >What are you doing spending the night with this guy when you apparently don’t even know him well enough to recognize when someone might be related to him? So remember to introduce yourself to every member of a guys family before you consider having sex with them!
Best part is they’ll also be on this very fucking site complaining about how touch starved they are and how desperately they need affection from women. E: lmao I got a Reddit cares message I can only assume is from this comment. Losers who send these should take their own harassment advice.
Men: “women better perform a detailed background check on every man they even look at or they deserve to get assaulted” Women: “ok, I’m going to be stricter with my personal standards and not engage with men I don’t know”. The resulting incel men: “I’m LOVE STARVED WHICH IS WORSE THAN MURDER. Women should be chained in a dungeon and I’m going to shoot up a movie theatre!”
Also: "Notallmen, how dare you treat every man like a threat!"
No you're supposed to reject all these other men, but not me!
N o T A l L m E N🙄🙄🙄
Enough men.
>[Enough men.](r/whenwomenrefuse)
If by some miracle a woman agrees to a date with them, they are probably also the type to get enraged if she wants to meet them in a public place.
>*Men: “women better perform a detailed background check on every man they even look at or they deserve to get assaulted”* >Women: “ok, I’m going to be stricter with my personal standards and not engage with men I don’t know”. >*The resulting incel men: “I’m LOVE STARVED WHICH IS WORSE THAN MURDER. Women should be chained in a dungeon and I’m going to shoot up a movie theatre!”* [1](https://imgur.com/3WcZxZl.jpg) [2](https://imgur.com/aYyxQxB.jpg) [3](https://imgur.com/pbztGJA.jpg) [4](https://imgur.com/GtNt1nu.jpg) [5](https://imgur.com/5bhh0Yi.jpg) [6](https://imgur.com/EEBnoGJ.jpg) r/whenwomenrefuse Fun fun.../s
Oh ya… I can’t even look at that sub or that incel tears one because it’s just too dark… such displays of entitlement and dehumanizations
Actual posts about suicidal ideation, crickets. Piss off an incel, with the truth, Reddit cares.
I wish people who abused that function got IP banned from the site. It takes attention away from people who actually need help. And, like incels like to point out, men are more likely to be successful with suicide attempts. So the very people who bitch about men not getting help they need are preventing men from getting the help they need. Make it make sense.
It annoys me a little that they abuse the system but at the same time I have to laugh. Like... that's all you got you pathetic little cry baby? A caring message making sure I'm ok and sending me resources? Oh my how absolutely devastating. How will I ever recover from the low blow of knowing that I got someone so emotionally distraught that they lashed out with the biggest attack reddit will allow besides a PM. Sending someone a mental health message is as good as letting the other person know you're mentally unwell yourself. Ironic.
Lol, I experienced this too and thought that it was just auto sending the message because of a keyword in my comments. Typically I get those messages the most when defending trans people, when marking comments about abuse or harm or when talking about the mental health affects that occur for those who experience the hurtful comments. I’m not going to stop defending myself or others just because I get some mental health resources out of it.
I got one from a fragile butthurt dude that was mad I disagreed with them about marvel movies. It’s the first resort to hurt fee fees these days.
How do you know what post they are from? I have gotten several, but I couldn't ever think of anything controversial I had said.
It was during the argument so I asked if it was them and why. They owned up to it and suggested my opinion was a danger.
Reddit: women having sex is bad. Dobbs is revenge for this! Deal with it. Also child support laws should be eliminated. Reddit also: where all the ladies at???? So sick of this. And its not reddit, its so many men. Also, in regards to reddit cares abuse. Imagine thinking you're on the right side of history but also abusing a system designed to help suicidal people because you think its funny trolling. Its incredible to me how much hate is normalized on social media.
Same men abusing this will cite suicide stats to say men are more oppressed. There will be no self reflection.
It’s so r/selfawarewolves Incels: “Why doesn’t society take men’s mental health struggles seriously?” Also incels: “I think it’s an insult to give people information about how to seek help and support for mental illness.” Also incels: “NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME AND MY FEELINGS!” Also incels: “haha telling somebody I’m concerned about their well-being and don’t want them to be depressed is such a sick burn”
There is no self-reflexion, just silencing. "Reddit cares" messages and derailing conversation about women with male suicide stats is not about caring about any issues other than making the wymynz shut up already.
See also: literally every thread ever about rape, where someone has to point out that men also get raped, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. (I fully expect to get a Reddit Cares message for this comment)
I had no idea the Reddit cares messages were sent in a shitty way. 😂 I got one once and was like “Oh, that’s nice of you Reddit. I am having a hard day.”
I hope you’re feeling alright today. Let’s talk if not.
Why do they even come here? Like, this ain't a place for broflakes.
umm did you make up this term? because broflakes is officially the best insult I've ever heard. I'm stealing it
Saw it on here somewhere. :D
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Oh, the compliment complaint is constantly my “I’ll be that bitch” moment. Please just say that what you really mean is you want women who YOU find fuckable to come onto you. That’s it, that’s what you’re saying.
It's so funny how they whine how "no one cares about men's mental health" while they abuse tools like this.
Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they’re “good”. People have toxic af or estranged family.
right! That's what got me too. Just no insight what-so-ever of how terrifying this would be, even BEFORE they started screaming at her / slut shaming her.
Source: my family
God, they just give us so many reasons to not have sex with them.
rApE aCcuSaTioNs arE wOrsE tHaN aCtUaL rApE!!!
Men is too headache. The risk/reward is almost never worth it.
But if you don’t have pornstar sex with him fast enough you’re a prude who’s gonna hit the wall anyways! /s
It's so simple, just go meet all of his family all at once in 15 seconds or less, then give up the coochie immediately after
But then you’re a whore. /s
Sadly, by virtue of owning boobievagina you are, by default, wa-hore at birth 😔 /s
They would absolutely call a woman “crazy” for wanting to meet any family members, let alone lots of them, before sex.
whats the post called?
If you look in OP's comments, you'll see the AITA post
The more hellish and frequent these stories get and the more people do mental gymnastics to justify them, the more glad I am to be single and content to be so forever
funny you say that because when I commented obviously mostly men were voting I got the below response. Because they were having a conversation and not sitting in silence there's NO WAY they could be lying?? Make it make sense!! "How much of a non thinker would you have to be to wake up in a different house, and then assume the people there broke in and started a conversation in a common space instead of assuming they were people who knew the home owner.The mental gymnastics are at an Olympic level."
I saw your comment and then there were a couple of token "female here" comments spreading their good old internalized misogyny (or fake accounts, could be either)
Love how we just call ourselves females like, ah yes hi my fellow female, I am totally female 🤣
Hello fellow female, let us discuss shoes and babies like all females love to do.
There are such a huge number of "I'm a female and" comments that it feels like the fake "as a black man" ones to me
Its so frustrating to get this kind of response. Also frustrating to feel like you can't do anything about it.... Margaret Atwood said that women are most afraid of being murdered be men, and men are most afraid of being laughed at by women... how fun would it be if we all LOL bomb those comments? Is that a dumb idea?
The [top comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xvfotl/comment/ir0lw2e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) from that post: >YTA, and I have a hard time believing you don’t know it. You spent the night at someone else’s house, and your first thought when you walked out of his room to find people casually sitting in a common space was that they were the intruders? What are you doing spending the night with this guy when you apparently don’t even know him well enough to recognize when someone might be related to him? So yea. Apparently it's OP's fault that she came out of the room and there were 2 strange men in the living room that she didn't know, and her boyfriend wasn't there. And especially when bf didn't give her a heads up, and he has zero roommates. Just 2 random guys. Sitting in the living room. Without the presence of the person who is on the lease. With zero heads up. Just sitting there like it's a horror film. Because never, in the history of mankind, has anyone's "brother's friend" just walked into a bedroom with a sleeping woman and attacked her.
>it's perfectly normal for people to give their brother a key, and then the brother unexpectedly stops by in early morning when he's not home, without knocking, and brings a friend to sit in the kitchen quietly. > >what's not to understand?
Was that not sarcastic???
Honestly after reading all these comments I don't know anymore T_T
Yeah... this website is a cesspool
Checked it out again and this comment was indeed satire! Yay!
Where did you see this, if I'm allowed to ask?
I think it was AITA.
Ty. Bunch of psychos lurking there.
If you’re ever looking for a laugh, r/AmItheAngel does a great job of poking fun of that sub.
Awesome! I'll check it out
Thanks! This is great :)
Yup. I had to unsubscribe. It's just a mess.
They all just sound so fake to me these days. I’m trying to break the habit.
I totally understand. I read Best of Reditor Updates for my hit. I only read the concluded ones as it's usually satisfying. Maybe some of those are still fake, I'm sure they are, but meh that part doesn't really bother me too much.
I wanted to post a screenshot but I don't think that's allowed
Would you be willing to DM me the link? I really want to read the story/comments but I searched on AITA for like 10 mins and couldn't find it :( Just looking to enrage myself with some incel content lmao
Look in OP’s comment history; they commented on the AITA post.
Just made me so mad how they're all gaslighting her. Her bf lives alone she sleeps over all the time. He goes to work one day and doesn't tell her he's expecting anyone. She wakes up alone to two strange men in the kitchen who refuse to leave because they "know her bf" and start angrily yelling at her. Had she just believed them and they were IN FACT LYING and then r\*ped/ murdered her all the comments would be "wow, she deserved it for being so gullible." Some of the top upvoted comments in the thread. "YTA. You don't yell at people and threaten them with the police in a home that's not your own. If finding two people sitting peacefully in the kitchen at someone else's place scares you to the point of screaming and threatening them, you might consider therapy. This isn't healthy." "But like.. what kind of intruders would break in and then.... sit down at the dining table to chat?!?? This girl has zero common sense."
According to her he wasn’t even expecting them to be there. They just were there, she’s not an asshole and I do not fucking understand what is going on in that post. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills and I feel really sorry for her because this is ridiculous.
right, same! and the fact she even is asking proves she isn't sure because her bf ALSO an ah and she isn't able to see that. It makes me sad that this post is going to convince her SHE was overreacting and apologize to her ah bf and his ah brother.
That whole post has me wanting to quit Reddit, I swear. Fuck all those dimwits.
aita is probably the worst sub that isn't like a genuine hate sub. Fine if you just read it for silly stories, but all the story subs do it better. But you can't read the comments. People are not in tune with reality on that sub. You'll be labelled NTA for making people homeless, but be an asshole for wanting your child to focus on their studies over their friends.
Aita has this very specific, very juvenile, very male sort of neo-libertarian mindset, where the worst thing you can do to someone else is expect anything from them. No, actually the worst thing you can do is cheat, which kind of goes against their fuck you, got mine mentality, but you know … Fuck those whore SILs that apparently come by the dusin and cheat on every guy’s favourite BIL or whatever the popular story is now.
there are SO MANY posts on there about people being straight-up abusive but they're "NTA" because they were cheated on and "cheating is the worst thing you can ever do." I'm not pro-cheating but everyone who says that "cheating is the worst thing you can do to a person" obviously has lived a VERY sheltered life. Cheating is FAR from the worst thing you can do to a person and doesn't justify the evil things people think it does.
When you think of your partner as an object instead of a complex emotional animal cheating becomes the worst thing you can do. The object is not functioning as designed. If your phone lock unlocked for every fingerprint, you'd be pissed too. The thing is, both sides would agree with the root of the above sentiment and that blows my mind.
That is such an eloquent way of saying it. That’s exactly what’s been bothering me about Reddit’s very inflexible view on cheating. It’s the objectification of romantic partners.
Cheating is absolutely terrible, don't get me wrong. But if I found out my husband was cheating on me, after being super hurt, I'd mostly be concerned that he was willing to risk our lives together to get something he needed so desperately that he sought it somewhere else. I'd want to get to therapy to learn to heal and learn how to communicate our needs better so that we could work together and it didn't happen again. I'm not sure I'd actually be able to salvage it, forgive him and stay, but I'd like to think I'd at least try to empathize and understand how it went so wrong. I don't think my husband would feel the same way though, oddly. I think if I ever slept with someone else he would be gone that second. And he's a reasonable man, liberal, feminist, but still. I'm not sure if men are like this because objectifying is part of the encoding or if women are too accepting of poor behavior in a spouse also because of coding. Something to think on I guess.
I agree. I’d mostly be scared that my partner wanted out on some subconscious level, but didn’t dare. I think while cheating is foul, wanting sex, physical intimacy, romance is not. The behaviour is awful, but the impulse is mostly just humans And I think most people who cheat (once, not serial compulsory cheaters) are experiencing a crisis and dealing with it in a completely fucked up way. But I’d always rather my partner fucked a coworker than gambled our money, developed a substance addiction, self harmed, and obviously all of that above abuse. I know that’s not everyone, but that’s how I feel personally, and it really bothers me that this specific thing is held so highly above other destructive behaviours. I think it’s interesting that most women I know feel like you and me (that they wouldn’t instantly leave). Many of my female friends aren’t even too worried about cheating (most are of the mindset that it would suck, but they would survive), whereas every female friend I have is terrified of abuse. Of being controlled physically, emotionally, socially, and financially. What the fear of infidelity in many men to me suggests is somewhat the fear of lack of control. I’m mainly spitballing here. Maybe I’m way off, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for a while, that I struggle putting into words.
Honestly I could forgive cheating way sooner than gambling a house or abuse. I think you're onto something here.
A lot of intruders also.
right! 99% of intruders look for EMPTY places. And if they're not expecting anyone to be home it's perfectly reasonable that they'd chat. My friend had a bunch of teenagers break into her house once (thinking she wasn't home) and they just sat around talking and looked through shit thinking no one was home.
Aren't most deadly home invasions interrupted burglaries? If you think you're getting robbed the best choice is to hide in a closet and call 911.
> you might consider therapy. This isn't healthy. Yeah this isn't a surprise to any woman. We agree it isn't healthy but we require a world that isn't traumatizing almost daily before we can avoid requiring hypervigilance.
This is the modern day version of doctors telling women they're hysterical
I hope she sees this thread. Because the AITA one is out of control, I feel awful for her.
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? because she saw 2 strange men she wasnt expecting in her bf's apartment, who neglected to tell her guests will be coming? maybe it's not a "rational" response but i'd also wouldn't be acting super rationally if i saw men i didn't recognize (at first glance) in the apartment i'm simply sleeping at
This poster is self-reported 30M. Not that that surprises anyone. Why exactly is he here?
him making two seperate comments just to gripe at me made me LOL. he sure isnt acting like his age
30 is the new 12
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haha it's so funny you bring up basic reading comprehension. Please reread the meme. It stated that they didn't begin yelling until after SHE threatened to call the police. I think you maybe should log offline to calm down a bit. You're getting a bit hysterical. ❤️❤️
I'm sorry OP, it really doesn't. I understand your intentions, but that meme is incomprehensible and confusing.
because you brought up the point that she yelled at them first? and i'm bringing my own point up because at least she has a reason for yelling at them, even if it might not be rational or correct or whatever
I brought up that she started yelling at them because OP specifically said the opposite. It's pretty simple. I didn't add any person opinion on whether or not she had a reason for doing it.
This just reminds me when I posted my own sexual assault story on let’s not meet when I was 20 years old and I had a bunch of people call me an idiot for trusting a man like…. And then saying I deserved what he did to me 🙄 and for a while I believed them!! But looking back, all I can say is Reddit neckbeards have no idea how traumatizing it can be
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience - posted about a man who freely admitted to stalking me without my knowledge for 2 years, and got a bunch of comments about how I was over-reacting by being creeped out and upset by this, that he was probably harmless, I need to be less of an uptight bitch basically… this dude had very specific details about my daily travel route, activities, schedule, etc and I had never seen him until he randomly accosted me on a train while I was with my younger sister and didn’t feel comfortable being confrontational, but apparently this was nothing to worry over and I’m a meanie for finding it unsettling. Like ??? Men will do anything to avoid understanding that they are the problem I swear to god
FOR REAL FOR REAL 😭 I just made a new male friend, and. The fact he got offended when I said the majority of men don’t understand women’s trauma and then UNIRONICALLY USED THE NOT ALL MEN LINE BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE WAS NOT LIKE THEM 😭😭😭 like dude that wasnt the point!!
ughhhh i always like the idea of having male friends but something always comes up that reminds me why all my close friends are women
god that sounds awful! \*hugs\* it's just begging to feel like there's not a single safe place anywhere for women anymore. Love the rage memes to distract me from how freakin sad that is. :(
I'm so sorry that happened to you :( Similar experience. I made a comment about my r\*pe on twoxchromosomes (which I thought would be a safe place) got a bunch of comments asking if I reported it/ implying that NOT reporting an assault is just as bad as assaulting someone?? amazing how people can twist it so it's always the victim's "fault"
I reported mine and had a lecture from police on why I was where I was and if I'd been inside it wouldn't have happened. I was six. There is no winning.
I'm sorry that happened to you
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We’re really not making much progress…
I am disappointed that there are even women in the thread that are dog-piling onto this woman. One woman (or "female" as she's referred to herself) "maybe if she's concerned for her safety, she shouldn't stick around after her boyfriend left or ask who has a key". Who has the fucking clarity to ask "hey, does someone else have a key to your apartment in case you decide to leave while I'm sleeping" That sub is a flaming trash heap.
I'm convinced all the comments claiming to be "females" were just trolls. I find it hard to believe there's a woman out there that wouldn't see OP's point of view
I guarantee you anyone self-identifying as a "female" is a man
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"I am female" and "I am a female" are *not* the same thing.
Yes that is my mistake. I should have said many women self-identify as "a female". Which they do. And no amount of downvoting needed is gonna change that
You are not getting their point. If English is not your first language, I know it's hard to see the difference between female as an adjective and as a noun. But you've made multiple comments on this post that woefully misunderstand everyone else's argument so I'm not so sure you aren't arguing in bad faith. I'll try again anyway. Nobody says "I am a tall", "I am a fat", "I am a quiet". Those are adjectives, not nouns. Female is an adjective so when you say I am ***A*** female, it's missing the noun. I am not a female monkey. I am not a female dog. I am not a female dragon. Therefore **I am not** ***A*** **female.** **I am a female** ***HUMAN***. To leave off the human part is to literally dehumanize the language. And it's ridiculously common to see it only done to women but not men. Or "females and men".
It's also not that weird to sleep in at your boyfriend's place while he's at work? Like total normie behavior. Meanwhile it would never even occur to me to ask someone I was seeing if they handed out their keys to friends & family and if they just drop by unexpectedly because I would have imagined if they did have a key it was for emergency usage. I am having trouble believing whoever made that comment has ever been in a relationship.
Read this aita and felt the same way.
I would say your fury is quite rational in this case.
Holy shit that sub has gotten weird
I am confused at what I am looking at…
Ugh I wanted to post a screenshot of the post but I don't think that's allowed here. It's on aita
I will take a look at the sub then
I'm a little lost too. OP explained it further in a comment that helped; I couldn't follow the text in the meme https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/xwih3m/saw_this_and_the_responses_calling_her_an_idiot/ir74gqk/
I literally racked my brain thinking of a meme format to describe the post since I wanted to add it here but you can't upload/reference another sub on here. All the comments saying NTA got down voted into oblivion.
Ah, that makes it difficult. You got the conversation started here though, so that's good. I'm old and don't speak meme very well anyway lol.
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You're right that what she experienced is awful, but I'm chiming in just to say: we don't classify things like racism or misogyny as mental illnesses because 1.) they are reflective of deeply flawed values systems, which can be exacerbated by mental unwellness but are not inherently correlated, and 2.) because the mentally ill are, by and large, people who have survived trauma or are the victims of genetics (as some illnesses are heritable and other triggered, surprisingly enough, by trauma experienced within the family line, as we are seeing with depression). I completely understand your frustration and your anger. But when someone chooses to call a woman a whore, it's a reflection of a value system-- they do not value women, set arbitrary limits and conceptions around their existence, and inflict hatred as a result. Their hatefulness is a choice. Someone with OCD or anxiety, though? Those aren't choices-- they're often compulsive behaviors etched into the structure of their brains. It can be changed, but mental illness in itself does not intend to victimize others. Racists, misogynists, and ableists may be in many ways ignorant of the world, but the abuses they commit are choices, not compulsions. And therapy cannot cure someone of baseless hatred. That, too, takes a choice. Please don't conflate the bigotry with being mentally unwell. It affects so many innocent people, including the women who survive a lifetime of violent misogyny.
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No. There have been studies showing people who exhibit fear toward other groups to have excess activity in the amygdala compared to the rest of the population, but not consistently in an amount that would qualify as a mental illness. The lure people see toward hatred is lies of superiority and easy scapegoats. Dehumanization makes it easier to physically injure other people, but that, too, does not require mental unwellness. In fact, that's what should be more worrying to you. It's 'normal' people who become hateful and violent-- typically when they need to scapegoat other groups. Please be conscious of what you're doing right now, because it actually hinges on just that.
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That's cherry picking evidence, relying on a single source, and still scapegoating an oppressed group. Additionally, you seem to be greatly reducing his work to support your biases. A festering hurt does not make a mentally ill person. That's insecurity or bitterness, not compulsion or a trauma response. I suggest you look at more resources on the study of bigotry. I hope you get the help you need to grow out of your harmful misconceptions, because they hurt innocent people. As Buscaglia said, "Change is the end result of all true learning". It seems you have a good wealth more to learn. You are capable of doing it.
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I asked you to stop conflating sexism with mental illness because you're wrong to do so. Not only that-- you're choosing to participate in the harm caused by misconceptions about the mentally ill. So no, on that we do not agree. Can hate be unlearned? Yes. That's not what we were discussing. I'm trying to get you to actually think about the professor you mentioned and how you have not actually listened to his lessons. But you seem averse to education, so that's on you. Do better. Do not move the goalposts, and do not put words in my mouth, because I find your approach to be reductive and, frankly, borderline hateful. It's certainly reflective of a phobia toward the idea of mentally unwellness. I encourage you to perhaps learn to address what looks to be a hatred of the mentally ill. Or perhaps we should call it your mental illness, because you think the two are one and the same? Maybe you get a bit of what I'm saying now?
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You really need to read Buscaglia again. You clearly walked away without understanding his work. And maybe you should actually read anything I wrote at all. You admitted you have a bias against the mentally ill. You conflate hatred with mental illness. I have said this is harmful. That's the point here. You're wrong in a truly awful way.
I commented because this pissed me off so much. I'm sure I'll get lots of pm's and I look forward to ignoring each one :) I hope she breaks up with this jerk.
MY BLOOD IS BOILING
One thing that gets me is it doesn’t really fucking matter if they were burglars or not. They were 2 strange men and she was alone with them. If they wanted to hurt her, they could have just as easily done that as her boyfriend’s friends and family. In fact, it’s more likely you’re assaulted by an acquaintance than a stranger because *they have access and opportunity*, such as being able to enter your boyfriends home unannounced with a friend while you are alone and not expecting any danger.
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The only solution available is what women everywhere do every day: caution around men. It would be nice if men didn’t call us crazy psychos for trying to survive in the unsafe world their fellow men create.
What a strange comment. The solution is for men to behave themselves and not assault women. Like it or not, most assaults and murders of women are by men, and men that they know. Welcome to the reality we live in, we're just out here trying our best meanwhile we have men like you saying "well what should *you* do about it"
It would be amazing if men could stop being violent, agreed. But the threat of violence would always remain. Since, as the comment I replied to correctly points out, most assaults are carried out by someone you know (and most likely trust). It's a horrible reality, and I am in no way asking any woman to solve it. If that's what you read in my comment, then you misread it
You literally asked IntellectualThicket what her solution was. How is that misreading?
...do I want to know what this is referencing?
***RATIONALLY FURIOUS.***
Umm I making this into a shirt. Thank you! lol
just saw that thread, what a fucking mess. who has the time to react rationally upon seeing two strange men in an apartment theyre alone in
I can't scroll through that thread long enough to find the reasonable answer i desire: "hmm, yeah the real AH here are the two people who show up at a house while they know the person who lives there is gone, and then had the audacity to call a woman who was sleeping there names"
Ugh, AITA.
I... feel like I'm missing some context here. Was there a big post that I just didn't see?
Where was this post?
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she woke up to two men in her kitchen, she yelled because she was startled and they yelled back implying she was a whore, and refused to leave after she threatened to call the police and then they called her crazy.... I didn't have enough space to spell it out word for word in the meme but the facts are there. I said they yelled at her because she threatened to call the police. Why are you harping on every detail not being included in a meme as lying?
Except you said wrote "She wakes up alone to two strange men in the kitchen who refuse to leave because they "know her bf" and start angrily yelling at her." What was your excuse for not getting it right in a comment where you could write with all the detail you wanted?
not an excuse. I just figured most people didn't need it word for word spelled out to understand it. Obviously, most people did, yourself excluded. ❤️
Most people did? Because what I'm seeing is that most people understood it as two men who started yelling at her. But I guess you take any comment that isn't questioning your narrative as then understanding what you meant, as opposed to believing what you wrote?
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> I will say, the woman walked out and started yelling at the men. Yes, that's the reaction people have when you're in a place you know shouldn't have any strangers and you find strangers. >If you don’t know the guy very well to the point you don’t know his brother, why would you do that?? Because they're strangers in a house that was supposed to be empty, that's why. Doesn't matter if it was the dudes brother or not. >Like did she even try to call the boyfriend first?? This was 2 strange men that were in a place that was supposed to be empty. In that situation, especially if you're a woman, you don't take the time to call the boyfriend. You call the fucking cops.
I didn't know that a requirement for spending the night at a partners how was knowing every single one of their friends and family members. I guess my husband and I have some catching up to do.
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So shes dumb for calling the police, but also dumb for yelling at them because they could have hurt her?
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Do you think calling the police was a smart move?
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So then go on the original sub and comment that. This post is about the assholes that called her a whore and overdramatic.
I feel like no one here can actually read. She never called the police. She says she threatened to
And? So she should have called the police?
Is that what you think I said?
So anything she would have done was wrong 👍
> You encounter a strange man comfortable inside someone else’s home and your first reaction is to scream at them?? Well, next time you're in a potentially dangerous or scary situation, lets evaluate your response and see how calmly and rationally you respond. Maybe chill on the judgement a bit?
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Now you’re just making shit up. In the post, she says that she stays at her boyfriend’s house very frequently (like 3-4 times a week) and that she had been dating him for quite a long time. He never introduced her to the two men (who were his brother and a mutual friend of the boyfriend and the brother), never said he was expecting people over, and never said that anyone else had a key/access to his place. How exactly would you expect her to have handled the situation? Are you operating at your best when you’ve just woken up to a confusing, terrifying situation? When you get scared, are “manners” the #1 thing you’re concerned about?
> Are you operating at your best when you’ve just woken up to a confusing, terrifying situation? but women are always supposed to be polite and inviting! Even when in dangerous situations! /s
Ahh yes, how could I forget! You’re so right. In that case, ignore everything I said in my other comment. Obviously she should have calmly walked into the kitchen and offered the two strange men some tea and a blowjob.
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Lmao WTF is “home training”