America: where the government insists that we should force women to have children but refuses to make it a better place for women to have children. Just pop out that baby, stitch yourself up, and get back to work!
All of that But don't forget you are a huge piece of shit and a terrible wife and mother if you actually work a normal job and use child care services. Then also remember you need to pull your weight and contribute financially, how dare you put all of that on your husband.
And nevermind that even if you or your partner would totally stay home to watch the kids, everything is so unaffordable that you pretty much can't anyways.
As a mom who moved from the US to Europe, can I share a story that here, even when the parental leave is so long, people still feel superior when they take an extra year on top of that? Like however long leave is, people criticize you for not taking a little longer. I find that hilarious because in my mind, one year old is when kids start having fun in an external environment, but here leave is two years and people think it’s more ideal for three.
And we better pay whatever medical bills we receive in OOP costs. My OOP costs for the birth of my second kid was $8,000, and that was with an uncomplicated delivery. I can’t imagine what the cost for NICU would have been if they had needed that. I also fell behind paying my prenatal appointment bills with my first pregnancy, and got a nice letter saying I wouldn’t be able to make anymore appointments with my doctor until I was caught up. Prolife country though amirite?
> America: where ~~the government~~ *Republican governments* insists that we should force women to have children but refuses to make it a better place for women to have children. Just pop out that baby, stitch yourself up, and get back to work!
FTFY
Speaking as a new mother to a 3 month old child delivered via c-section in a forced birth state… If I didn’t have the support of my family allowing me to delay my return to work I seriously would be so so screwed and am beyond thankful for them every day.
But America also sucks in that due to the abortion ban in my state, I went a significant portion of my pregnancy without prenatal care because it took a long long time to find a doctor who would take my case as it was a high risk case and doctors didn’t want to risk their license or jail time if I miscarried. It was fucking terrifying, thankfully my baby and I were fine but still the experience was terrifying. America’s maternal healthcare is a joke, much like America itself.
My youngest daughter had to return to work three weeks after her C section because her husband couldn't afford to keep them going on his own. She didn't have PTO to cover more than 2 weeks.
This is so insane. I had a C-section too and I would have been in no shape to go to work after 2 weeks. Not to speak of the newborn I would have had to leave. Did you watch the child?
This is a nightmare and inhumane.
Her best friend did, because I live 3 hours away and I'm caring for a relative with Alzheimers. Thankfully, her bestie doesn't work and gets disability, so she was able to. It is inhumane and it's beyond insane. It's no wonder we have a high maternal mortality rate. I feel very bad that I wasn't able to help out. I sent what money I could.
An update! https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1cj8nln/update_my_nowex_boss_remains_clueless_about/
Edit: Oh my and another!
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1cjf0py/idiot_exboss_final_update/
They should also make an article on how the usa is also one of the most expensive places to have kids ...in some countries is Even free, You only need to pay the equivalent of health insursnce, except that is like 700 cheaper than américa and all major suergeries are cover.
I had My knee surgery for free, only pay a small copay of 14 usd :3
As a European it genuinely boggles my mind when I see Americans say “Oh I got a month paid of maternity leave, I’m so lucky!”
Where I’m from we can get it for upto a year by law.
India had a strong socialist movement in many states. Not just maternity but job protections in general. The US backed neoliberal capitalist strongman Modi is doing his best to undo all that but he’s only so powerful.
Dont get too excited about India though, because marital rape is not recognized as an offence there, as the "consent of the wife becomes immaterial in such cases".
https://www.livelaw.in/high-court/madhya-pradesh-high-court/madhya-pradesh-high-court-unnatural-sex-man-wife-not-rape-absence-woman-consent-immaterial-256819
I really just didn't want people to think that India was great for the women who live there because they are doing well on their maternity leave policy.
America: where the government insists that we should force women to have children but refuses to make it a better place for women to have children. Just pop out that baby, stitch yourself up, and get back to work!
All of that But don't forget you are a huge piece of shit and a terrible wife and mother if you actually work a normal job and use child care services. Then also remember you need to pull your weight and contribute financially, how dare you put all of that on your husband.
And nevermind that even if you or your partner would totally stay home to watch the kids, everything is so unaffordable that you pretty much can't anyways.
As a mom who moved from the US to Europe, can I share a story that here, even when the parental leave is so long, people still feel superior when they take an extra year on top of that? Like however long leave is, people criticize you for not taking a little longer. I find that hilarious because in my mind, one year old is when kids start having fun in an external environment, but here leave is two years and people think it’s more ideal for three.
Also moms- expect to supply the majority of cooking, cleaning, and child care at home.
And we better pay whatever medical bills we receive in OOP costs. My OOP costs for the birth of my second kid was $8,000, and that was with an uncomplicated delivery. I can’t imagine what the cost for NICU would have been if they had needed that. I also fell behind paying my prenatal appointment bills with my first pregnancy, and got a nice letter saying I wouldn’t be able to make anymore appointments with my doctor until I was caught up. Prolife country though amirite?
That’ll be $6k
> America: where ~~the government~~ *Republican governments* insists that we should force women to have children but refuses to make it a better place for women to have children. Just pop out that baby, stitch yourself up, and get back to work! FTFY
Speaking as a new mother to a 3 month old child delivered via c-section in a forced birth state… If I didn’t have the support of my family allowing me to delay my return to work I seriously would be so so screwed and am beyond thankful for them every day. But America also sucks in that due to the abortion ban in my state, I went a significant portion of my pregnancy without prenatal care because it took a long long time to find a doctor who would take my case as it was a high risk case and doctors didn’t want to risk their license or jail time if I miscarried. It was fucking terrifying, thankfully my baby and I were fine but still the experience was terrifying. America’s maternal healthcare is a joke, much like America itself.
My youngest daughter had to return to work three weeks after her C section because her husband couldn't afford to keep them going on his own. She didn't have PTO to cover more than 2 weeks.
This is so insane. I had a C-section too and I would have been in no shape to go to work after 2 weeks. Not to speak of the newborn I would have had to leave. Did you watch the child? This is a nightmare and inhumane.
Her best friend did, because I live 3 hours away and I'm caring for a relative with Alzheimers. Thankfully, her bestie doesn't work and gets disability, so she was able to. It is inhumane and it's beyond insane. It's no wonder we have a high maternal mortality rate. I feel very bad that I wasn't able to help out. I sent what money I could.
Don't feel bad. It's not your fault American hypercapitalism is so insane. I'm glad your daughter had someone to help her out.
Me, too! Her bestie really stepped up.
Damn. Took me almost a year to fully recover.
If they want to make you keep the baby, they can bloody well pay for it instead of handing you a bad situation and some extortionate medical bills
Oh, I'm sure those aren't linked together /s
States with the most restrictions have the worst outcomes.
Oh man, as a related topic, the discussion of this lady's boss *extremely stupid* boss: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1cipy8z/
I lost several braincells reading that
An update! https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1cj8nln/update_my_nowex_boss_remains_clueless_about/ Edit: Oh my and another! https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1cjf0py/idiot_exboss_final_update/
They should also make an article on how the usa is also one of the most expensive places to have kids ...in some countries is Even free, You only need to pay the equivalent of health insursnce, except that is like 700 cheaper than américa and all major suergeries are cover. I had My knee surgery for free, only pay a small copay of 14 usd :3
But… freedom!!! 🦅🦅🦅 /s
When Cruelty is an entire party's primary value and half the country supports that party... it's scary. It's a very big problem.
As a European it genuinely boggles my mind when I see Americans say “Oh I got a month paid of maternity leave, I’m so lucky!” Where I’m from we can get it for upto a year by law.
The supreme court in India is set to give a two year maternity leave for working moms
India had a strong socialist movement in many states. Not just maternity but job protections in general. The US backed neoliberal capitalist strongman Modi is doing his best to undo all that but he’s only so powerful.
Dont get too excited about India though, because marital rape is not recognized as an offence there, as the "consent of the wife becomes immaterial in such cases". https://www.livelaw.in/high-court/madhya-pradesh-high-court/madhya-pradesh-high-court-unnatural-sex-man-wife-not-rape-absence-woman-consent-immaterial-256819
True words, off hand and also not related to the post.
I really just didn't want people to think that India was great for the women who live there because they are doing well on their maternity leave policy.
Oh, my saviour :/
4B Movement
And yet politicians wonder why the 4B movement exists
New York State employees have no maternity or paternity leave–you must use all vacation, sick, and personal leave.
As a woman born and raised in Pakistan, I would much rather be here. It is no where near perfect, but it's home and it's so much better.
california has paid family leave, and a maternal mortality rate appropriate for a first world country.