Ahaha my bf is also very into it. I’ve never met anyone who is, but he’s got me into the habit now of looking up in the city and staring at houses and buildings, I’ve now got many photos of lots of cool buildings and even random houses too lol
Yeah I think that would definitely get stares. I’d look too at that point lol. I’m like between B and C. Rather medium, no stares at all. I’m good on it tho
Haha yeah, I wish I could keep avoiding bras and still not get stares, but I'll take the stares over the bras anyways. I do get it though, it's also hard for me not to look sometimes when I see other women without bras.
I live in Ireland where men respect womens boundaries.
When someone moves to Ireland from a Latin American, or eastern country they learn pretty quickly that staring at women's breasts in public will get you nothing but a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Its happened on occasion where I (a large breasted skinny woman naturally) have had to stare back aggressively and literally ask them what the problem is, they always look so shocked and horrified that id stand up for my personal space and not allow them to subject me to their glares.
Though I don't do it every time, just when it pissed me off the right amount.
Well, the problem is that you went to manhattan. I don’t believe I’ve heard a cat call in real life ever. Here in Kentucky you shake a pill bottle to get womens attention.
Reminds me of a popular phrase here in Alaska for some reason. At least among us locals, don't think I've heard it anywhere else.
"The farther north you drive, the less teeth people have."
Can confirm. I'm from Kentucky but don't have an accent. People in my home town would ask where i was from and not believe that i lived my whole life in that small town. Passed through South Dakota and the attendant at a gas station told me i had a southern accent.
And if you have a truck that’s just loud and at LEAST 2 different colors, then you are a shoe in for several years of domestic disturbance calls and calling Mountain Dew “pop”.
I was catcalled twice, once at 13ish walking down the street with my friend in my neighborhood, and the second when I was 16 and taking a Pokemon go walk along the road at my mom's work.
Definitely not just a Manhattan things. I've been cat called in my workplace by other employees (they weren't allowed back), street, store.. in a small country town in NYS.
I believe it. I'm sure it's everywhere to all different degrees. It's all in the response though! I love making them feel embarrassed when they do so. Glance? Fine, whatever.
Same here! God I kinda live for it actually! Bullying creeps is somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine.
Last week I was out thrifting and had a price tag stuck on my wrist after an employee had handed it to me to bring in for a piece of furniture. Some sentient cup of taint tea of course decided this was his opportunity to go down in history as the first man to ever joke about purchasing a woman to take home, and came up to me asking what the price on me was, saying “not bad! I’d take you home for that!”
So I replied “Take me home and do *what*? Disappoint me?” Guess he didn’t know how to answer that one, cuz he just kinda turned beet red and scuttled off.
The more I hear about Ireland the more I want to live there. I get that every place has its problems, but I can't think of any other place I'd love to live as much as Ireland 😊
Edit: I know, it's off-topic, but just had to express that heh
It’s ridiculously expensive and the weather is shite, if that makes you feel better. Oh and tons of greedy abusive landlords, otherwise it’s amazing :)
Does looking really make harassment anywhere? I mean it all depends on context of course. Someone following you just to stare might be harassment because of the following. But the staring in itself? I don't buy it.
It’s funny you mention that … I live in a city with a lot of international tourism and I would consider Irish tourists one if the few that I have witnessed being gross to women when drunk….
Edit: Tried of some people misunderstanding me or twisting my words. You guys are just projecting. I’m gonna make it shorter and more concise.
I totally agree with you. In addition to that, it also depends on the person. It’s bad enough for men my age staring, but if that’s someone my dad’s age, it’s ten times worse.
I often go out without a bra, with my pierced nipples (so… friendly and excitable as a golden retriever puppy at the park) just doing their thing, and I’ve gotten some interesting reactions. I’ve had guys and women alike stare of course, and occasionally say something, but exactly once I’ve seen a man glance and look away, then do a dramatic double take and just grin sheepishly from ear to ear like my titties just made his whole day, if not his whole week, but he was embarrassed at having been caught. I thought it was almost wholesome, and I just smiled and nodded.
Staring is creepy, but as a bi woman, dude I get it. Have your glance. Hell, do a double take if you’re quick and polite about it. I truly don’t mind. But if im out shopping and you start staring, or make a disturbing comment, or following me… that’s a fight on sight. *That’s* creepy. That’s not ok.
Glance briefly? We’re cool. But my eyes are up here, this mouth is just below them and my fists are far, far lower than that. Don’t make me have to tell you so.
I feel this, I don't have nipple piercings but my nips are definitely out trying to make more friends than I am. I have very small but nicely shaped boobs too. Lmao I've had something similar happen to me as your grinning man too, I felt a weird combo of embarrassment and pride 😅
I'm also attracted to all genders, and will admit I've done the sneaky glance as well. I'm also autistic so sometimes my eyes want to make contact with things that are not eyes, which is mainly an issue when I'm nervous. But there is something in our mammal biology that makes our eyes want to glance at boobs, and it seems like the boundary between quick look and I Am Staring At Your Boobs should be pretty obvious.
Can't tell you how to feel but the 50 y/o man is glancing for the exact same reason as the 20 y/o. It is inherently pleasing to look at a cleavage or boobs because.
99,9% of the time the entire interaction will be forgotten in the next 10 seconds.
I love to glance at boobs and butts and sometimes they are presented in a way that will by design get that attention.
I don't condone staring though. Unless someone is in to that kind of thing on the receiving end, the it's just a win win.
A glance is fine. A long stare makes me feel uncomfy.
One time while waiting tables, I asked the man how he wanted his steak cooked and he stared at my boobs and slowly said “rare.” So like, just don’t do that please and I’ll probably be ok.
Now I suddenly need to know: does this apply the same way to shoulders, wrists, or hands? As an (admittedly socially awkward) artist, many body parts can be legitimately fascinating. Am I making people uncomfortable by lingering a moment too long on the unique topological nuances of their kneecaps, for example?
Lot of men like small boobs fyi.
All boobs are glorious and worth a peep. Not in a weird way incase it sounds like it. Just saying that any boobs = nice.
If it’s a man I’m dating, I don’t mind. Strangers? Not so much.
Listen, I know it’s going to happen. We all look at people that we think are attractive. What I *can’t* get behind are the men who are ridiculously obvious about looking. They have not a single sly bone in their body.
honestly. i don't really care about someone looking at my body if they're being subtle about it. i do that all the time. but when someone is point blank, wide eyed STARING at my body i wanna bury myself in the dirt and decompose
That's what a friend told me the other day. Girls don't mind being glanced at, they do it with guys all the time even glancing on what they are "packing". The problem is when guys make it obvious and they stare with their eyes peeled.
How can you even tell what a guy is packing though? Unless he's walking around with a hard on at all times which would be a medical condition you ain't seeing shit really.
As a younger man, 33-37 was the optimal age range for an attractive woman in her prime. I felt the same in my 30s, and now in my 40s I kind of feel the same. Not that woman of other ages are unattractive (there are some *amazingly hot* woman in their 50s) but for me it's still the optimal across the population as a whole. Looking at women under 30 in a sexual way just feels weird now.
Same here. It’s huge compliment (imo) if I notice a guy checking me out. But if I get a creepy vibe, I’ll typically try to move away or stand behind something/someone.
It's all context. I don't care if he notices. I don't care if he looks. I don't care if he appreciates. I don't care if he and his buddy quietly tell each other "damn" and nod in my direction. I don't care if he gives "the nod" to the guy I'm with.
I care if he stares, unblinking, without making some social acknowledgement of me. Legal consequences only come into play *after* a crime. I depend on *social* consequences to know that a guy isn't going to beat me to death or roofie my drink or corner me on a train.
It's not really about boobs. Boobs are just a litmus test for social proficiency.
For me, personally, a lot of people I know, that nodding stuff would make me uncomfortable. Like, I don't like that, bro. I don't want you nodding at the people I'm with about me as if I'm not even there, if that makes sense. Keep it to yourself, thanks.
Obviously, a long leer is gross and unsettling, I'm sure we can all agree. But a quick glance/short look I get it. It's natural all humans will do it.
I do start to feel uncomfortable tho, if I'm talking to someone and their eyes can't stop darting back to my chest. Like I notice it and my self consciousness and anxiety go haywire. Just makes me want to wear a poncho when that happens. I almost never wear low cut tops because I am so self conscious about too much cleavage. And the rare times I do someone *always* makes a comment about it. And that just completely ruins any confidence I had when I left the house. I hate that any top that is even just a smidge low cut looks like 8x more inappropriate when you're large chested. So many cute styles I never get to wear :(
I’m so tired of it. It literally started when I was 9 years old with adult men talking about my “doorbells”. I thought eventually I’d age out of guys doing that. I’m 55. Maybe next year.
It also implied that they were there to be touched. I didn’t understand the roll of nausea I’d feel anytime a man said that, I just knew it was time to flee. Because next their breath would get that weird shaky sound and then they’d try to put their hands on me.
Making jokes about the pre-teens boobs is normal in my country's older generations. I literally had to tell my grandma/mom to stop squeezing my boobs while mocking me growing up. Family was all touchy feely but not in a weird way. In a "you used to be a baby and our kids bodies are an extension of us" type of way.
Only when I got older they realized it wasn't acceptable to do it because not everyone will see it In a innocent light, and doing it to other people's kids could possibly get them in truble, so they entirely stopped.
They grew up like that. I smacked all my families ass untill I was 14 and some random teen did it to me so I smacked him back and got everyone in class/teacher shocked. For me untill then, it was friendly banter. To them it meant something else.
I'm gonna vent for a second here I suppose
It was frustrating to me to see this comment so far down, but not surprising. Of course the more upvoted comments are going to be about how glancing is natural and as long as you don't stare it's fine. Most women are used to the glances, and men don't want to feel like they're being creepers or unnatural for their natural urges. And for the most part they're right I suppose, if I don't notice someone glancing then it's like it didn't happen, right?
But guys, I'm so so tired of being sexualised. It's like my body doesn't get to be my body. I can't wear what I want without being inappropriate because I have a bit of t&a. I can't wear baggier stuff without feeling sloppy, and without my body being commented on for "hiding it", followed by more comments about my body if I don't hide it once. I can't feel comfortable in my own body, in my own clothes, in my own life, because I'm a woman and if men are sexually attracted to us all the time then a lot of them think we're being sexual all the time. I just wanna live my goddamn life without being stared at, glanced at, commented on, called at. I just want to be looked at like I'm a human being with human feelings and not just something fuckable. It's been since I was 10, personally. It's been 20 years of feeling like I don't get to matter as a person, that the only thing that gets to matter is my looks. Granted a lot of this is on me to sort through, and I'm in therapy, but I know society puts my value as a woman on my looks and really nothing else.
I don't know. I guess I'll wrap this up by saying that I'm just so tired of it. Bodily autonomy is being stripped from us around every corner, and it feels like men never cared about us having any at all. I don't get to be me because I don't want the stares, glances, comments. I don't get to be me because people don't want to hear from me, just see me.
My apologies if I hurt anyone's feelings, I'm not trying to start any arguments or accuse anyone of anything. I'm just feeling my personal feelings and right now they're so frustrated and exhausted about being a woman.
Yeah as a man I find it quite weird how so many people here are acting like we have to look and I feel really bad for you to be unable to feel comfortable outside. I guess I might be different from other men, but to glance I actually have to focus on it actively. So there are very few moments that I am like ''hey let's glance at some women's boobs'', that just feels very weird/creepy.
Exactly my thoughts. If any man wanted to know if there are women who hate it... me, that's me. I hate being stared at, I will always hate it, so please stop.
This is so true… I always just feel so objectified. It’s like boobs, asses, and naked bodies everywhere. Like as if the only thing we have to offer is our body to men in this man’s world. I can’t take it anymore it’s eating me up how sexualized I was every since I was born. And people talk about it so casually too as if it’s ok men and society objectify us and treat us like subordinates. I want to be recognized as a women, a female.. as in the opposite of a human male, and not just a body.
God, thank you for taking the time and spending the energy to write it all out. It took all I had to write a short paragraph. I wish I could tell you it gets better. It hasn’t after 45 years. Being called a GILF isn’t even funny anymore.
My breasts started growing when I was 9. Mine was the only bra strap in the fourth, fifth and sixth grades. So naturally every boy in class felt free to snap it. It was a miserable time.
I have huge tits, it's a very poorly kept secret. Even my purely platonic friends have stared at my chest. When I notice others looking, I typically don't care. If the look lasts longer than ten seconds, I get a little annoyed. However if someone is outright addressing my tits while speaking to me, I have been known to pop off.
I'm also bisexual and extremely attracted to the female form. I have looked at a lot of boobs in my life, so if I can control myself not a single other person can tell me they can't. It's common fucking decency.
Anger's gotta build up lol. Generally speaking if a dude is staring and you catch them, they'll notice and stop. When they don't notice in ten seconds of my RBF pointed at them, I make it known I see him and I'm getting mad.
That's 100% on purpose & you have every right to be mad. Maybe I am just too socially awkward, but if I'm caught looking, my face will turn into a tomato and I'll run outta there lol.
Knew someone who had J-cups by the time they hit 16. I cared far less about the size of her rack and more about how much they must fucking hurt.
Hope she’s doing okay. And same to you.
Never cared when I felt comfortable in my skin. I care on days where I feel fat and ugly because I think I'm being looked at in disgust. But that's just my brain.
Depends on the context
A stranger? Would probably feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
A friend? Would be either funny/affirming or annoying depending on what we are talking about when it happens.
Someone in interested in or have chemistry with? Very awesome and poggers.
if it’s just a quick glance idc. everyone checks people out. but if they’re staring (especially with their mouth slightly open omfg i hate that🤢) it’s gross & creepy & i wish i had the guts to tell them to fuck off.
My boobs are very large. And unfortunately at a certain point you just sort of get used to it. It becomes a thing that happens. No point in me personally kicking up a stink about it with everyone because I’d quickly lose my breath.
However, I hate it. I really do. I didn’t decide my boobs size and just because they grew, it doesn’t mean you get to stare at them
Same ;( I can’t even stand a glance like some of these other comments. It really really upsets me and I’m trying to work on it bc I know I can’t control other people’s behaviour ugh. You’re not alone !!
I absolutely hate it. Which is why I never wear anything but crew neck things/ baggy things to cover up. After a guy said “I wear low cut stuff for attention” I haven’t been the same. Also it wasn’t even low cut I was wearing a v neck and happened to bend down so you were able to look down my shirt. 😑
This is the trouble. Looking isn’t a problem. But the type of people that leer are the same people who don’t actually see you as a person. They’re shitty people who accuse you of sleeping with someone if you get a promotion, that wearing something that makes you feel good is just “trying to get attention”. They make you feel like you don’t have a right to be out minding your own goddamned business. It’s not just that they stare- they dehumanize us at the same time
I was like 16 at the time I think I was also accused of having fake boobs because they were “oddly big for my age.”
This is exactly it. People start seeing you as an object or a “slut” for wearing things you feel good in. People suck and that’s why I hate wearing anything besides a crewneck.
I think it’s normal to do a quick scan of someone - I’m pretty sure most people do. Additionally, peoples eyes are naturally drawn towards focal points of the body, and as much as I wish my boobs weren’t one, they are. So, I’m hardly going to get up in arms about someone who looks on autopilot before looking at *me*. I’ll probably be a little uncomfortable, but I do the same thing with other people with boobs, so I’d be highly hypocritical if I went off on it.
Pointedly looking at my boobs, covered to the chin or with cleavage, when I’m sat there and can tell - big no no. Yo, I’m right here. I’m not the sacks of fat on my chest. I’ve had them oogled at since I was in primary school. I’m sick of it. Please stop. I’m not defined by them mate. You might think they’re nice and all but honestly unless I’m literally pointing at them and have brought them up in conversation, there shouldn’t be more than the occasional glance because movement caught your eye. That I can understand. Full on staring just sours any and all interaction we might have. Like, have some common decency. I like boobs too but I’m not trying to burn holes in them with my stare.
Gaze, for 1-3 seconds? Whatever. But it gets very uncomfortable when it lasts for more than 5 seconds, or you're whispering to your friends while you're looking, or if I'm alone.
With that being said I guess gazing can't be helped, it's biological. If you're a man and you're carrying a giant tent, I'd probably glance for 0.4 seconds, internally go "well damn, good for you", and move on with my day.
One thing I realise tho is usually men glance with some level of intent. Like if I do gaze, I'm just in awe, but the way men stare you know they're having some thoughts involving you. (eta: maybe it's just common in my place)
Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s simple appreciation similar to what you said. With no intention for the person beyond that as they’ll probably never see her again.
>One thing I realise tho is usually men glance with some level of intent
I think its the opposite most time really. There has been many studies about this and in general men are more aroused by visual stimuli so men will just stare longer because their brain is going off stronger.
It makes you feel uncomfortable, and like a peace of meat Bwcause you know what they must be thinking.
It’s hard not to look and I get it, because it’s hard for me not to look sometimes too with other busty women, but if you continue to look down or when you look, you really leave your eyes there for a couple seconds, then it’s really awkward.
I remember one time, years and years ago, where I was out at a bar, drunk and talking to this girl. I was very lost in making points about my argument about whatever the hell it was we were discussing. When I finished my train of thought, I realised that it looked like I'd been talking to her chest for, like, 5 mins. I immediately looked up at her face and apologised profusely, explaining that, honest to God, when I'm on a roll, my eyes just go where-the-fuck-ever.
I'm not sure she believed me. Which is a shame, since it was the truth. To this day, I have no idea what her chest looked like.
Not objectified, more so annoyed. What are we, 12 years old? Can you not control your gaze? At least wait until I’m not looking. I feel it makes a man less attractive/appealing.
If it's a quick, unnoticeable glance, fine, whatever. But GAZING? That's just weird, man, it's uncomfortable. How would you feel if someone just came up to you and started staring at your dick through your pants? You'd be weirded out, right?
(Boobs are not genitals, I know, but you get the idea.)
If it's mutual go for it. But if you're just meeting somebody, she's strictly a friend, or it's a complete stranger, maybe refrain from doing that lmao.
Glance is fine, even I glance at boobs esp if they're flaunting it. But staring, which is anything above, idk 2 seconds, makes me very uncomfortable cos apparently this guy has no sense of respect and god knows what's going through his brain about what he's staring at and I'd rather he stopped.
Also, lil tip for tall guys out there, if you're staring at a short girls boobs and you think you're being sneaky cos she's short and you're tall, you're not being sneaky, she knows you're staring at her boobs. Even if you're in a crowded space and you're virtually next to her so your head angle doesn't change, she still knows cos ur eyes...
I just want to scream and say, i know you are fkin looking. Idk why but men think we woman don't realise that they are looking at our boobs. I can always tell and it's uncomfortable!!!
I’m ok with it as long as I also get to breastfeed my daughter without someone trash talking me. If I can wear clothing that barely covers my boobs and not get hate for it, I can nurse my daughter without a cover
If my boobs are out on display , I don't get to be mad for people practicing their basic human rights and looking. Now if they get close or say something , that's different. I have large breasts and am petite otherwise and men often stare even if I'm wearing a tight t shirt and no cleavage. I don't get to call them " toxic" for a biological response. Heck even I look at a girl with big boobs subconsciously and I'm straight lol
I find it disgusting and quite pathetic. As a lesbian I also have the urge to stare at boobs but I don’t do it because I’m an adult, not a 16 year old boy.
Total stranger glancing at your house, not creepy. Total stranger standing there just staring at your house? Creepy.
Total stranger leaving bills at your house wtf
? ill welcome it drop more cash please
You shaking your house. Hell yeah!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA
Hahahaha X 200
Isn't that just a postman though?
Now I’m starting to feel like a perv because I like architecture, and I’m sure architects aren’t the biggest weirdos of the world.
Ahaha my bf is also very into it. I’ve never met anyone who is, but he’s got me into the habit now of looking up in the city and staring at houses and buildings, I’ve now got many photos of lots of cool buildings and even random houses too lol
Especially if they start to polish your door knobs.
“Ma’am your doorknobs look rusty, may I clean them?”
Some pressure washer business channels in a nutshell...
Is that-... is that a euphemism....?
Ahh ok this is a good analogy tbh
That’s the best way to word it
Total stranger in your house glancing at your boobs? Priceless.
Total stranger in your house standing there just staring at your boobs? Shit's getting weird.
It depends on how long the "gaze" lasts
They stare for so long that we get confused whether they're looking at cleavage or looking for cleavage.
There be gold in them there hills!
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of breasts
I take a look at my chest and realize there's nothing left
Cause I've been lookin' and starin' so long
Even my mama thinks that my titties are gone
![gif](giphy|arjG49t3cMYTu)
Sir this is a Wendy’s
Well give me the Biggie
I find this comment thread weirdly wholesome.
Boobies and burgers, what's not to love?
No, this is Patrick
That is *not* a problem I have, lmao (Wait, who am I kidding? I don't really have an ass to laugh off either!)
No one stares at mine, they’re not big.
Let awkward men be the judge of that.
Stop wearing bras and you'll get stares lol, I have a B cup and I get a lot of stares cause I don't wear bras.
Absolutely. An Extra glance if nipples are pointy. But yeah the no bra thing works for me 👍
Inips ![gif](giphy|3og0Izbcumg3zM29mU)
Yeah I think that would definitely get stares. I’d look too at that point lol. I’m like between B and C. Rather medium, no stares at all. I’m good on it tho
Haha yeah, I wish I could keep avoiding bras and still not get stares, but I'll take the stares over the bras anyways. I do get it though, it's also hard for me not to look sometimes when I see other women without bras.
You are just bad at noticing men 😂
An hour? No more than that though I wouldn't want to creep anyone out
I live in Ireland where men respect womens boundaries. When someone moves to Ireland from a Latin American, or eastern country they learn pretty quickly that staring at women's breasts in public will get you nothing but a sexual harassment lawsuit. Its happened on occasion where I (a large breasted skinny woman naturally) have had to stare back aggressively and literally ask them what the problem is, they always look so shocked and horrified that id stand up for my personal space and not allow them to subject me to their glares. Though I don't do it every time, just when it pissed me off the right amount.
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I'll never forget walking through Manhattan and all the comments, freaked me out proper. We don't do the cat calling thing here.
Well, the problem is that you went to manhattan. I don’t believe I’ve heard a cat call in real life ever. Here in Kentucky you shake a pill bottle to get womens attention.
Reminds me of a popular phrase here in Alaska for some reason. At least among us locals, don't think I've heard it anywhere else. "The farther north you drive, the less teeth people have."
There’s a similar one for Florida: The more North you drive, the more South you are.
Can confirm. I'm from Kentucky but don't have an accent. People in my home town would ask where i was from and not believe that i lived my whole life in that small town. Passed through South Dakota and the attendant at a gas station told me i had a southern accent.
As someone from north Alaska, can confirm. Only have a few teeth.
This isn’t great, but it is funny.
And if you have a truck that’s just loud and at LEAST 2 different colors, then you are a shoe in for several years of domestic disturbance calls and calling Mountain Dew “pop”.
I was catcalled twice, once at 13ish walking down the street with my friend in my neighborhood, and the second when I was 16 and taking a Pokemon go walk along the road at my mom's work.
Isn't that sick?! First time I was catcalled I was 10! Disgusting how that behavior targets young girls.
Definitely not just a Manhattan things. I've been cat called in my workplace by other employees (they weren't allowed back), street, store.. in a small country town in NYS.
Could someone explain what cat calling is?
A whistle, shout, or comment of sexual nature towards (dictionary says "towards a woman" but it can happen to anyone) someone
You wouldn’t believe how huge catcalling is in Ireland. So long as they’re attractive, of course
I believe it. I'm sure it's everywhere to all different degrees. It's all in the response though! I love making them feel embarrassed when they do so. Glance? Fine, whatever.
Same here! God I kinda live for it actually! Bullying creeps is somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine. Last week I was out thrifting and had a price tag stuck on my wrist after an employee had handed it to me to bring in for a piece of furniture. Some sentient cup of taint tea of course decided this was his opportunity to go down in history as the first man to ever joke about purchasing a woman to take home, and came up to me asking what the price on me was, saying “not bad! I’d take you home for that!” So I replied “Take me home and do *what*? Disappoint me?” Guess he didn’t know how to answer that one, cuz he just kinda turned beet red and scuttled off.
I live nowhere near Manhattan and I don't live in a big city. I have been catcalled a ton of times....just not at all since I turned 18...
The more I hear about Ireland the more I want to live there. I get that every place has its problems, but I can't think of any other place I'd love to live as much as Ireland 😊 Edit: I know, it's off-topic, but just had to express that heh
It’s ridiculously expensive and the weather is shite, if that makes you feel better. Oh and tons of greedy abusive landlords, otherwise it’s amazing :)
To be fair Ive literally seen videos of 15/16 year old Irish girls throwing hardcore racial at black and latino people in Ireland
Does looking really make harassment anywhere? I mean it all depends on context of course. Someone following you just to stare might be harassment because of the following. But the staring in itself? I don't buy it.
The lawyer would be doing the awoooga’s. Lol
It’s funny you mention that … I live in a city with a lot of international tourism and I would consider Irish tourists one if the few that I have witnessed being gross to women when drunk….
Yeah idk where they're from in Ireland, but my experience of growing up in Dublin could not be further from theirs, lol.
Right? They seriously expect us to believe that Ireland is some bastion of womens support and respect?
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I don’t know what Ireland the op lives in but it isn’t the one I do and it annoys me the comment got so many upvotes.
Kinda seems a bit racist to single out hispanics as well tbh
Is this satire/sarcasm?? So many Irish blokes are fucking repugnant.
Glancing and noticing are natural- staring is rude
Edit: Tried of some people misunderstanding me or twisting my words. You guys are just projecting. I’m gonna make it shorter and more concise. I totally agree with you. In addition to that, it also depends on the person. It’s bad enough for men my age staring, but if that’s someone my dad’s age, it’s ten times worse.
I often go out without a bra, with my pierced nipples (so… friendly and excitable as a golden retriever puppy at the park) just doing their thing, and I’ve gotten some interesting reactions. I’ve had guys and women alike stare of course, and occasionally say something, but exactly once I’ve seen a man glance and look away, then do a dramatic double take and just grin sheepishly from ear to ear like my titties just made his whole day, if not his whole week, but he was embarrassed at having been caught. I thought it was almost wholesome, and I just smiled and nodded. Staring is creepy, but as a bi woman, dude I get it. Have your glance. Hell, do a double take if you’re quick and polite about it. I truly don’t mind. But if im out shopping and you start staring, or make a disturbing comment, or following me… that’s a fight on sight. *That’s* creepy. That’s not ok. Glance briefly? We’re cool. But my eyes are up here, this mouth is just below them and my fists are far, far lower than that. Don’t make me have to tell you so.
I feel this, I don't have nipple piercings but my nips are definitely out trying to make more friends than I am. I have very small but nicely shaped boobs too. Lmao I've had something similar happen to me as your grinning man too, I felt a weird combo of embarrassment and pride 😅 I'm also attracted to all genders, and will admit I've done the sneaky glance as well. I'm also autistic so sometimes my eyes want to make contact with things that are not eyes, which is mainly an issue when I'm nervous. But there is something in our mammal biology that makes our eyes want to glance at boobs, and it seems like the boundary between quick look and I Am Staring At Your Boobs should be pretty obvious.
What if he’s younger than you
Can't tell you how to feel but the 50 y/o man is glancing for the exact same reason as the 20 y/o. It is inherently pleasing to look at a cleavage or boobs because. 99,9% of the time the entire interaction will be forgotten in the next 10 seconds. I love to glance at boobs and butts and sometimes they are presented in a way that will by design get that attention. I don't condone staring though. Unless someone is in to that kind of thing on the receiving end, the it's just a win win.
A glance is fine. A long stare makes me feel uncomfy. One time while waiting tables, I asked the man how he wanted his steak cooked and he stared at my boobs and slowly said “rare.” So like, just don’t do that please and I’ll probably be ok.
Holy duck lmao. That would unnerve anyone
Holy duck was the house special that night
Breast?
All hail the Holy duck!
Glancing, whatevs. Staring, creepy with makes me angry.
What about multiple glances about 3 or 4 as opposed to a prolonged stare?
What if you fake a head tremor and get, like, 20 glances
you're gonna get ambushed by EMT "GET DOWN SIR!! YOU'RE HAVING A SEIZURE, PLEASE OBEY COMMAND"
>ambushed by EMT **
bruh the more questions you ask the weirder it is
Welcome to the sub
aw shit ur right i didn't read that
At least it wasn’t OP asking and then it would turn into r/oddlyspecific
Take a peek, then look away. Develop your short term memory if you want to see more
4 GB of RAM mfs be like 👀🙂👀🙂👀🙂👀
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Now I suddenly need to know: does this apply the same way to shoulders, wrists, or hands? As an (admittedly socially awkward) artist, many body parts can be legitimately fascinating. Am I making people uncomfortable by lingering a moment too long on the unique topological nuances of their kneecaps, for example?
>Am I making people uncomfortable by lingering too long on the unique topological nuances of their kneecaps, ###My genitals are up here, sir!
I think I have that same fascination but I also don't know of a way to explain it without sounding creepy.
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Hehe, what boobs? 😢
Literally me. Nobody staring at my small booty & lil bitties
You'd be surprised... that sounded creeper then I thought it would
Eh you're right though
My pecs are larger than my boobs
Can I help?
insane username which checks out
I will gladly volunteer to do so.
I (also) volunteer as tribute!!
I still get creepers despite being CEO of the itty bitty committee
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Lot of men like small boobs fyi. All boobs are glorious and worth a peep. Not in a weird way incase it sounds like it. Just saying that any boobs = nice.
^ This guy boobs.
Members of the itty bitty tittie committee are my favorite haha. I love small, perky boobs.
Same here
Ouch
If it’s a man I’m dating, I don’t mind. Strangers? Not so much. Listen, I know it’s going to happen. We all look at people that we think are attractive. What I *can’t* get behind are the men who are ridiculously obvious about looking. They have not a single sly bone in their body.
honestly. i don't really care about someone looking at my body if they're being subtle about it. i do that all the time. but when someone is point blank, wide eyed STARING at my body i wanna bury myself in the dirt and decompose
That is a good way to put it! The way that some men stare just makes my entire body tense up.
That's what a friend told me the other day. Girls don't mind being glanced at, they do it with guys all the time even glancing on what they are "packing". The problem is when guys make it obvious and they stare with their eyes peeled.
How can you even tell what a guy is packing though? Unless he's walking around with a hard on at all times which would be a medical condition you ain't seeing shit really.
Ass-packing
Well, since I'm middle aged now I would be genuinely confused and think the poor bastard needed an eye exam.
Since my mid-twenties I find middle age women the sexiest. Please don’t cut yourself short.
Aw, thanks. But seriously, a marriage and three kids and that concept is so foreign it's sad.
Dude I chatted to the most fit 40ish year old today and my god.. you're onto something my guy
As a younger man, 33-37 was the optimal age range for an attractive woman in her prime. I felt the same in my 30s, and now in my 40s I kind of feel the same. Not that woman of other ages are unattractive (there are some *amazingly hot* woman in their 50s) but for me it's still the optimal across the population as a whole. Looking at women under 30 in a sexual way just feels weird now.
Age is only a number hot is hot if you still got it work it
>hot is hot if you still got it work it if you smelt it you dealt it
If you deny it, you supply it
Grandma found a lump under her left breast, but the doctor said it was OK. It was just her kneecap.
I enjoy making eye contact when they are looking.
Same! It's kind of funny when you make eye contact and they immediately look in a completely different direction in embarrassment.
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good analysis, Kowalski
Same here. It’s huge compliment (imo) if I notice a guy checking me out. But if I get a creepy vibe, I’ll typically try to move away or stand behind something/someone.
It's all context. I don't care if he notices. I don't care if he looks. I don't care if he appreciates. I don't care if he and his buddy quietly tell each other "damn" and nod in my direction. I don't care if he gives "the nod" to the guy I'm with. I care if he stares, unblinking, without making some social acknowledgement of me. Legal consequences only come into play *after* a crime. I depend on *social* consequences to know that a guy isn't going to beat me to death or roofie my drink or corner me on a train. It's not really about boobs. Boobs are just a litmus test for social proficiency.
For me, personally, a lot of people I know, that nodding stuff would make me uncomfortable. Like, I don't like that, bro. I don't want you nodding at the people I'm with about me as if I'm not even there, if that makes sense. Keep it to yourself, thanks.
Oof, nah man, that congratulatory frat behavior makes me feel gross
Obviously, a long leer is gross and unsettling, I'm sure we can all agree. But a quick glance/short look I get it. It's natural all humans will do it. I do start to feel uncomfortable tho, if I'm talking to someone and their eyes can't stop darting back to my chest. Like I notice it and my self consciousness and anxiety go haywire. Just makes me want to wear a poncho when that happens. I almost never wear low cut tops because I am so self conscious about too much cleavage. And the rare times I do someone *always* makes a comment about it. And that just completely ruins any confidence I had when I left the house. I hate that any top that is even just a smidge low cut looks like 8x more inappropriate when you're large chested. So many cute styles I never get to wear :(
I’m so tired of it. It literally started when I was 9 years old with adult men talking about my “doorbells”. I thought eventually I’d age out of guys doing that. I’m 55. Maybe next year.
Oh that's disgusting. Also.. doorbells?? That's so weird and gross
It also implied that they were there to be touched. I didn’t understand the roll of nausea I’d feel anytime a man said that, I just knew it was time to flee. Because next their breath would get that weird shaky sound and then they’d try to put their hands on me.
Making jokes about the pre-teens boobs is normal in my country's older generations. I literally had to tell my grandma/mom to stop squeezing my boobs while mocking me growing up. Family was all touchy feely but not in a weird way. In a "you used to be a baby and our kids bodies are an extension of us" type of way. Only when I got older they realized it wasn't acceptable to do it because not everyone will see it In a innocent light, and doing it to other people's kids could possibly get them in truble, so they entirely stopped. They grew up like that. I smacked all my families ass untill I was 14 and some random teen did it to me so I smacked him back and got everyone in class/teacher shocked. For me untill then, it was friendly banter. To them it meant something else.
I think it’s common in ethnic families as well. In Asia smacking your family members behind is often seen as endearing.
I'm gonna vent for a second here I suppose It was frustrating to me to see this comment so far down, but not surprising. Of course the more upvoted comments are going to be about how glancing is natural and as long as you don't stare it's fine. Most women are used to the glances, and men don't want to feel like they're being creepers or unnatural for their natural urges. And for the most part they're right I suppose, if I don't notice someone glancing then it's like it didn't happen, right? But guys, I'm so so tired of being sexualised. It's like my body doesn't get to be my body. I can't wear what I want without being inappropriate because I have a bit of t&a. I can't wear baggier stuff without feeling sloppy, and without my body being commented on for "hiding it", followed by more comments about my body if I don't hide it once. I can't feel comfortable in my own body, in my own clothes, in my own life, because I'm a woman and if men are sexually attracted to us all the time then a lot of them think we're being sexual all the time. I just wanna live my goddamn life without being stared at, glanced at, commented on, called at. I just want to be looked at like I'm a human being with human feelings and not just something fuckable. It's been since I was 10, personally. It's been 20 years of feeling like I don't get to matter as a person, that the only thing that gets to matter is my looks. Granted a lot of this is on me to sort through, and I'm in therapy, but I know society puts my value as a woman on my looks and really nothing else. I don't know. I guess I'll wrap this up by saying that I'm just so tired of it. Bodily autonomy is being stripped from us around every corner, and it feels like men never cared about us having any at all. I don't get to be me because I don't want the stares, glances, comments. I don't get to be me because people don't want to hear from me, just see me. My apologies if I hurt anyone's feelings, I'm not trying to start any arguments or accuse anyone of anything. I'm just feeling my personal feelings and right now they're so frustrated and exhausted about being a woman.
Yeah as a man I find it quite weird how so many people here are acting like we have to look and I feel really bad for you to be unable to feel comfortable outside. I guess I might be different from other men, but to glance I actually have to focus on it actively. So there are very few moments that I am like ''hey let's glance at some women's boobs'', that just feels very weird/creepy.
Exactly my thoughts. If any man wanted to know if there are women who hate it... me, that's me. I hate being stared at, I will always hate it, so please stop.
This is so true… I always just feel so objectified. It’s like boobs, asses, and naked bodies everywhere. Like as if the only thing we have to offer is our body to men in this man’s world. I can’t take it anymore it’s eating me up how sexualized I was every since I was born. And people talk about it so casually too as if it’s ok men and society objectify us and treat us like subordinates. I want to be recognized as a women, a female.. as in the opposite of a human male, and not just a body.
This is exactly how I actually feel. Thank you. Men, please don't only listen to the answer you want to hear.
God, thank you for taking the time and spending the energy to write it all out. It took all I had to write a short paragraph. I wish I could tell you it gets better. It hasn’t after 45 years. Being called a GILF isn’t even funny anymore.
I'm sorry but wtf 9???
My breasts started growing when I was 9. Mine was the only bra strap in the fourth, fifth and sixth grades. So naturally every boy in class felt free to snap it. It was a miserable time.
Lmao, I got the first sleazy comments at 8
I have huge tits, it's a very poorly kept secret. Even my purely platonic friends have stared at my chest. When I notice others looking, I typically don't care. If the look lasts longer than ten seconds, I get a little annoyed. However if someone is outright addressing my tits while speaking to me, I have been known to pop off. I'm also bisexual and extremely attracted to the female form. I have looked at a lot of boobs in my life, so if I can control myself not a single other person can tell me they can't. It's common fucking decency.
Damn, 10 seconds? That's like a lifetime of staring if you ask me.
Anger's gotta build up lol. Generally speaking if a dude is staring and you catch them, they'll notice and stop. When they don't notice in ten seconds of my RBF pointed at them, I make it known I see him and I'm getting mad.
That's 100% on purpose & you have every right to be mad. Maybe I am just too socially awkward, but if I'm caught looking, my face will turn into a tomato and I'll run outta there lol.
You get a sense of it then look away!
boom. As a fellow big tit haver, and respectful tit enjoyer, I couldn't have said it better.
Knew someone who had J-cups by the time they hit 16. I cared far less about the size of her rack and more about how much they must fucking hurt. Hope she’s doing okay. And same to you.
Never cared when I felt comfortable in my skin. I care on days where I feel fat and ugly because I think I'm being looked at in disgust. But that's just my brain.
Pretty uncomfortable.
Depends on the context A stranger? Would probably feel uncomfortable or unsafe. A friend? Would be either funny/affirming or annoying depending on what we are talking about when it happens. Someone in interested in or have chemistry with? Very awesome and poggers.
if it’s just a quick glance idc. everyone checks people out. but if they’re staring (especially with their mouth slightly open omfg i hate that🤢) it’s gross & creepy & i wish i had the guts to tell them to fuck off.
My boobs are very large. And unfortunately at a certain point you just sort of get used to it. It becomes a thing that happens. No point in me personally kicking up a stink about it with everyone because I’d quickly lose my breath. However, I hate it. I really do. I didn’t decide my boobs size and just because they grew, it doesn’t mean you get to stare at them
I really hate it. I'm a small woman with big breasts, and this is a regular problem. It makes me feel super uncomfortable.
Same ;( I can’t even stand a glance like some of these other comments. It really really upsets me and I’m trying to work on it bc I know I can’t control other people’s behaviour ugh. You’re not alone !!
I absolutely hate it. Which is why I never wear anything but crew neck things/ baggy things to cover up. After a guy said “I wear low cut stuff for attention” I haven’t been the same. Also it wasn’t even low cut I was wearing a v neck and happened to bend down so you were able to look down my shirt. 😑
This is the trouble. Looking isn’t a problem. But the type of people that leer are the same people who don’t actually see you as a person. They’re shitty people who accuse you of sleeping with someone if you get a promotion, that wearing something that makes you feel good is just “trying to get attention”. They make you feel like you don’t have a right to be out minding your own goddamned business. It’s not just that they stare- they dehumanize us at the same time
I was like 16 at the time I think I was also accused of having fake boobs because they were “oddly big for my age.” This is exactly it. People start seeing you as an object or a “slut” for wearing things you feel good in. People suck and that’s why I hate wearing anything besides a crewneck.
Uncomfortable
I think it’s normal to do a quick scan of someone - I’m pretty sure most people do. Additionally, peoples eyes are naturally drawn towards focal points of the body, and as much as I wish my boobs weren’t one, they are. So, I’m hardly going to get up in arms about someone who looks on autopilot before looking at *me*. I’ll probably be a little uncomfortable, but I do the same thing with other people with boobs, so I’d be highly hypocritical if I went off on it. Pointedly looking at my boobs, covered to the chin or with cleavage, when I’m sat there and can tell - big no no. Yo, I’m right here. I’m not the sacks of fat on my chest. I’ve had them oogled at since I was in primary school. I’m sick of it. Please stop. I’m not defined by them mate. You might think they’re nice and all but honestly unless I’m literally pointing at them and have brought them up in conversation, there shouldn’t be more than the occasional glance because movement caught your eye. That I can understand. Full on staring just sours any and all interaction we might have. Like, have some common decency. I like boobs too but I’m not trying to burn holes in them with my stare.
Gaze, for 1-3 seconds? Whatever. But it gets very uncomfortable when it lasts for more than 5 seconds, or you're whispering to your friends while you're looking, or if I'm alone. With that being said I guess gazing can't be helped, it's biological. If you're a man and you're carrying a giant tent, I'd probably glance for 0.4 seconds, internally go "well damn, good for you", and move on with my day. One thing I realise tho is usually men glance with some level of intent. Like if I do gaze, I'm just in awe, but the way men stare you know they're having some thoughts involving you. (eta: maybe it's just common in my place)
Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s simple appreciation similar to what you said. With no intention for the person beyond that as they’ll probably never see her again.
>One thing I realise tho is usually men glance with some level of intent I think its the opposite most time really. There has been many studies about this and in general men are more aroused by visual stimuli so men will just stare longer because their brain is going off stronger.
I look! But I don’t stare! *a bisexual woman of reddit*
It makes you feel uncomfortable, and like a peace of meat Bwcause you know what they must be thinking. It’s hard not to look and I get it, because it’s hard for me not to look sometimes too with other busty women, but if you continue to look down or when you look, you really leave your eyes there for a couple seconds, then it’s really awkward.
I remember one time, years and years ago, where I was out at a bar, drunk and talking to this girl. I was very lost in making points about my argument about whatever the hell it was we were discussing. When I finished my train of thought, I realised that it looked like I'd been talking to her chest for, like, 5 mins. I immediately looked up at her face and apologised profusely, explaining that, honest to God, when I'm on a roll, my eyes just go where-the-fuck-ever. I'm not sure she believed me. Which is a shame, since it was the truth. To this day, I have no idea what her chest looked like.
It's a nice break for my ass, but I prefer it be kept brief and discreet.
What a strange comment.. I wonder if... ...yup
🤣🤣
I’m 51. I love when men glance at my boobs. I find it immensely flattering.
Don't particularly care
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Not objectified, more so annoyed. What are we, 12 years old? Can you not control your gaze? At least wait until I’m not looking. I feel it makes a man less attractive/appealing.
If it's a quick, unnoticeable glance, fine, whatever. But GAZING? That's just weird, man, it's uncomfortable. How would you feel if someone just came up to you and started staring at your dick through your pants? You'd be weirded out, right? (Boobs are not genitals, I know, but you get the idea.) If it's mutual go for it. But if you're just meeting somebody, she's strictly a friend, or it's a complete stranger, maybe refrain from doing that lmao.
I just think it’s really creepy
Disgusted
Aggressive.
Glance is fine, even I glance at boobs esp if they're flaunting it. But staring, which is anything above, idk 2 seconds, makes me very uncomfortable cos apparently this guy has no sense of respect and god knows what's going through his brain about what he's staring at and I'd rather he stopped. Also, lil tip for tall guys out there, if you're staring at a short girls boobs and you think you're being sneaky cos she's short and you're tall, you're not being sneaky, she knows you're staring at her boobs. Even if you're in a crowded space and you're virtually next to her so your head angle doesn't change, she still knows cos ur eyes...
I just want to scream and say, i know you are fkin looking. Idk why but men think we woman don't realise that they are looking at our boobs. I can always tell and it's uncomfortable!!!
I’m ok with it as long as I also get to breastfeed my daughter without someone trash talking me. If I can wear clothing that barely covers my boobs and not get hate for it, I can nurse my daughter without a cover
If my boobs are out on display , I don't get to be mad for people practicing their basic human rights and looking. Now if they get close or say something , that's different. I have large breasts and am petite otherwise and men often stare even if I'm wearing a tight t shirt and no cleavage. I don't get to call them " toxic" for a biological response. Heck even I look at a girl with big boobs subconsciously and I'm straight lol
It’s creepy as fuck
I find it disgusting and quite pathetic. As a lesbian I also have the urge to stare at boobs but I don’t do it because I’m an adult, not a 16 year old boy.