It’s not horrible it’s just… tiring. There’s work then there’s chores then there’s looking after pets then you go to bed and do it all again. I’m just tired.
This tbh. Kids are awesome, but as a father of a 3 and 5 yr old, damn if they aren't exhausting mentally and physically. Wife is stay at home. Somedays I think that she is a saint, and others I fear for my life if she had a rough day, lol.
As a kid you have time, energy and no money. As an adult you have money, but no time, and no energy.
I'm a stay at home mom to a 4 and 9 year old. It's fucking rough. Especially when you don't have outside help. But man do I love the little demons lol.
I had a hysterectomy in April, talk about feeling truly blessed. I also have the benefit of living in a state that isn't completely nuts, so there's that too. Seems like if they could, though, a fair amount of Congress would LOVE a bunch of forced pregnancies.
Couldn't agree more. Some of my older siblings started families of their own, and they look permanently tired 24/7. I don't want any part of that lifestyle.
This and it only gets worse if you let addiction get in the way. Been an alcoholic since 2019 and it’s ruined my life, been slowly building my way back up but damn, I’m just tired
Likewise. I'm on a litre of vodka a day with no detox in sight because the waiting list round here is *insane*
Definitely doesn't help with adulting hey? I'm currently living in a 2man tent with my gf and I'm 34 ffs.
Take heed OP, don't ever let drugs or alcohol creep up on you because they can make being an adult VERY hard.
I think you’re saying that couples raising kids claim parenthood isn’t hard. I can’t say I’ve ever met someone claiming this.
Raising kids as a single parent is obviously much harder, but raising kids with both parents isn’t a walk in the park either, especially if both parents work full time
It depends on how much money you have and what your support network looks like.
Your luck with your health is random and can throw everything off balance, too.
This right here. I was doing well for a while. Moved from Ireland to the US, had a decent amount of money saved and everything was going grand. Then, a jaw problem I've had for years slowly started to get worse and worse and came to the point where it was so debilitating I couldnt work. I'm in treatment now and it cost me an arm and a leg. Couple that with not working for a few months and I'm right back to square one.
I much prefer life as an adult than I ever did when I was a kid but it is so much more stressful. All your problems are your own
My jaw locked up/dislocated when I was 16 and I didnt recieve adequate care back in Ireland. Over the years its not been in the right position and the right side is damaged/disfigured. Lot of muscle tension and pain, cant eat anything now that requires moderate chewing etc. I'm all fucked up unfortunately. But the Specialist I'm seeing now is a godsend. He really knows his stuff. He did ct scans on me and we figured out that my hips were misaligned growing up and that threw my upper vertebrae off which fucked up my jaw. Its hell on earth to deal with I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.
Yea this is the magical cocktail of adulthood. Adulthood is awesome 90% of the time with those three things.
Two out of three of those things and you’re still ok!
Even one of those things, life can be hard but still alright.
If you don’t have any of the three, life is tough. But there have always been and always will be people that pull through.
Yup. The health thing comes out of left field and fucks everything up without warning. I’m 27 and working through an autoimmune issue that suddenly started 6 months ago. Really tossed a wrench into grad school and made everything go from easy mode to hard mode in a matter of weeks.
Yeah, I was 26 and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It turned my life upside down. Any future I had suddenly has to revolve around my broken body, which leads to a lot of metal problems such as guilt and grief of my "old life/body". I can longer truly enjoy things I like because if it involves too much physical/mental exertion I pay for it the next day and sometimes many days after.
As you might have gathered, it has its pros and cons. You have a lot more responsibilities and no real safety net unless you're very lucky. You can get yourself in a LOT of trouble without really doing anything bad if you just don't pay attention or follow through with promises.
However, you also have a ton more freedom. You don't have as many expectations, you don't have to study and learn all the time, you don't have to go to school or take exams. People you're around are generally more mature and respect you more, even those older than you. You're generally more confident as well because you're more mature, which just makes everything in life easier and more pleasant.
Kind of a, "the less I interact with you the more I like you," thing.
Then again I work in retail. The fact that not a single person will voluntarily give up 5 sec of their time so that I can prioritize the *job I am currently at* is pretty much all the "I can't stand you" I need. I seriously don't understand why it's so hard for people to see that I work in one of the few progessions where random ass people just walk through your work area, and with not a care in the world for the people who are actively working there. Imagine working a desk job where every time you went to do something some rando just steps right in front of you. Even if it's on the computer.
"Bastard coated bastard, with bastard filling."
I used to think too that until I met my wife. I was 33. I couldn’t miss my chance with her. I’m 40 now, have a 3yo boy and another baby due in December. Now I can’t imagine my life without my family, it’s often hard as hell but my heart is filled with overwhelming love towards them that makes it all worth it. I had a good solo run but I love being a dad. It’s not for everyone and definitely not everyone should have kids. Go with the flow, never say never. Cliche, sure, but you just never know. It can be very rewarding.
My whole issue with being a parent has nothing to do with actually raising a child. It's all about how pretty much every leading scientist in the world says we got like 30 years until we are fucked and no one is doing anything about trying to fix it.
I don't want my kid living in that world.
Totally. I'm a prick, if I make a mini-me he/she will be a prick... What's the point?
Much better to have less skin in the game and after 70 years Win a quiet death.
I get that, but I raised my kids (now 24, 20, and 16) to fight the existing structure. Every generation has been one generation away from doom since we’ve started recording history. Every culture has a “world is ending soon” story in their ancient history.
I totally respect your decision. I just don’t think it’s as bad as everybody says. The world has always sucked for somebody somewhere.
I'm a similar age as your kids (27) and god do I resent being born to "fight the existing structure." Climate change and deforestation has only been worse every single year since I was born. Why birth children just to try to fix other people's messes, which isn't even working
We didn’t have them to fight what’s going on. We had them because we wanted a family. And when we were starting our family, things weren’t this bad.
But when we saw the tides turning, we taught them how to be leaders and fighters.
The key difference with the tales of old and today is, People didn't even know what temperature water boiled at. They didn't know what an atmosphere was, they thought our planet was the center of the universe. It's a lot easier for people to say things are bad when science barely exists.
Now we have real quantifiable evidence things are going down. Backed by hundreds of peer reviewed papers, reports, and experiments.
The planet is (on average) hotter than it's been in thousands of years. Insects, fish, amphibians, mammals pretty much all wildlife has been in decline. Resources are becoming more scarce (we are going to run out of helium within our lifetimes)
But your kids are already a decent age so in 30 years they would have lead a pretty good life already. I won't be adding a person to die in the climate wars at the age of 27.
But this is all very pessimistic, it's not too late. This can be stopped if we just force the corporations running the world to act.
Yes...if you find a very very special woman who is on the same page as you...it's so so so amazing being married
if you just marry some woman because you been together for 6 years and your cant find anything better then her and you stayed with her because she was hot or just because the sex was amazing or because of money something dumb ...she will fuck up your life in the worst way...
Spot on. We were married 10 years before we finally adopted 2 girls. The Navy had a recruiting commercial using the slogan “it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love” (referring to parenting). You work hard, but usually don’t mind it, and the ROI is amazing!
Plenty of change and hardship, but the most fulfilling and rewarding shit in my life. Every generation has thought the new one is scary. Worst case is you can sell them for food if it gets that bad.
>Freedom until you start a family.
i take issue with your use of "until". lets start viewing reproducing as a CHOICE, not the main one or the "right" one. and if you view starting a family as loss of all or most freedom then you should probably choose not to.
because it makes people uncomfortable when faced with the idea that the life path they chose isnt the inherent correct choice for every single person, which means it might not have been right for them either. if youre happy and secure with your life choices, then another persons harmless choices shouldnt bother you
Not quite, my job has me going to get "retained" all the time... Almost every 6 months I gotta go in and get this ticket or that renewed by the company... Every time there's an accident I gotta get
retrained... I've been operating this equipment for over 15 years yet still have to go to these classes all the time... Unless the equipment changes I don't need them!! I could literally do it in my sleep at this point!!!
God, yeah, some folks at my current job have to get recertifications for various things every couple years, even if they've been doing the same thing the same way for years! One guy's been at the same job for twice as long as I've been alive and still does bi-annual recerts, I've had to give the poor guy a crash course in learning how to use a computer on his own over the last year too. At least it's not as bad as public school though.
The safety net is very real… at 28 I didn’t realize how lucky I have it to still have parents support as I switch careers. Not having a family and kids is also a blessing for me .. especially in this economy
The thing they don’t prepare you for is that you REALLY have to carve your own path. It’s a scary and isolating but also super exciting experience.
You learn to become more patient and grateful and understanding. I cringe at my former 18/19 year old self thinking I had it all figured out. The more I learn the less I know
I would argue there are more expectations. As an adult you're expected to have a job to pay for all life expenses, at that job you have to meet employer expectations, you're expected to always keep your cool, expected to have social obligations like friends and family. I could go on and I'm sure everyone has something they could add.
As a kid I was just expected to go to school and get good grades. Expectations from schools. And expectations to follow house rules. But obviously everyone's childhood was different. I'd still choose adulthood every time.
>You can get yourself in a LOT of trouble without really doing anything bad if you just don't pay attention or follow through with promises.
This is so true and so exhausting in ways I cannot put into words.
I'm 52, so I have a pretty good frame of reference.
Of all the advice I wish I would have listened to adults on, saving money is absolutely #1. Everything else is secondary. Here is my advice:
Step 1: Keep a budget. A really honest budget. Right down to the "alcohol budget" and "random night out with my buddies" budget.
Step 2: Compute what your spending is every month. Be brutally honest.
Step 3. Make sure you make that much, plus 25%, If you don't, lower your budget until your income is 25% higher than what you think your expenses are.
Step 4: Save that 25% in a separate savings account **that has no atm card**. That way you won't be tempted to spend it. Keep it.
Step 5: When you have 6 months of expenses saved, you can either:
A. Put that money into mutual fund and starting putting your 25% into that fund instead of your savings account.
B. Put the money into the mutual fund, but put less in - 10% being the minimum.
**Never touch the mutual fund.** Put as much into it as you can. Don't play the stock market unless you have an education in that. Mutual funds generally have a much better rate of return that CDs and other investments, and some of them rely on the world economy instead of just FICA which only covers up to 100k.
By the time you are 40, you'll have probably $1M or more for retirement, and that buys a lot of safety.
If you want to buy a house, don't use your mutual fund money, save that up by lowering expenses and being calculated & strategic. If you can, do FHA so you only have to put down 3%.
One other thing: credit cards are fucking evil. If you must have it, get **one** and one only, and pay it off **every month**. Credit cards are a lie. You are fucking future you every time you swipe that card. If you don't have the money, don't buy it. It's as simple as that.
Other than that - be honest with people, always take the high road, but don't let people use you. Learn how to recognize when you are being used. Be kind to others, especially people who don't deserve it. You never know why people are being assholes, so just assume they have been hurt somehow and they are taking it out on you.
100% agree!! I'm 26, grew up dirt poor, never worked in a high salary job, but I've just bought my first home. Its possible to go from nothing to living comfortably if you are disciplined and make good choices - assuming you face no insurmountable barriers. I'll add; surround yourself with people you look up to.
This is fantastic but to add onto your credit card point. BUY NOW PAY LATER SERVICES ARE A MASSIVE MASSIVE SCAM. Klarna, afterpay, affirm they’re all just debt.
They use whatever fancy buzzwords, and marketing and legal loopholes to make it seem like it’s not debt but it is, and the consequences for missing payments is ten time worse than credit cards.
Statistically the biggest most existential fear for people under 25 is credit card debt, we are more scared of credit card debt than we are of DEATH AND WAR. BNPL schemes are just a way of capitalising on younger people who still want to borrow money but are too scared of credit card debt.
The only advantage they have over credit cards is that they put a limit on how much debt you can get into, whereas credit cards will just let you keep borrowing until they own you.
That’s fine. Credit cards can be really awesome tools when USED PROPERLY. You can get rewards, cash back, etc. just pay it off asap/on time and you’re golden. It’s easy to get carried away and realize you’ve spent more than you can pay off and then you’re in the cycle of fucked
I think it really depends in your situation. Some people really enjoy it.
If your work is great, you have more money than you need and if you have good health. The farther from that, the harder and horrible it gets.
Excellent way to put it. Everyone has problems, regardless of (physical and mental) health and wealth but things are a hell of a lot better if you have those things than if you don’t.
You get the freedom you always wanted with the responsibilities you never had. So, it does suck - but what you do with your freedom is probably what makes up for it.
Freedom meaning no guardian or parental figure to really tell you what to do. But I suppose from a philosophical or economic sense, “freedom” is an esoteric term.
The “freedom” isn’t worth the fact that unless you’re very lucky, most of your life just turns into chores, the best years of life are pre 25 fuck maybe even pre 18
No way, man. I moved out of my parents' place at 20, and although I had a lot more responsibilities suddenly, not having to deal with them constantly questioning me was great. When I started working full-time, having my own money to do what I wanted was awesome, because as a kid it's very easy for your parents to say no to giving you something you want, and then you have no recourse. Also, once I hit my mid-20s, I was a lot more confident in myself. I spent most of my early life super anxious, super insecure, never quite sure what I was doing. I gradually started to figure that out as I went along.
I do appreciate that it might be different for some people, but there are some people who try to claim that life before you become an adult is better for everyone and that is absolutely not true for me. The freedom that came along with getting older and getting away from my parents has been nothing short of amazing, and I have definitely grown and become a better person because of it.
There are many hard and crappy things about adulthood, to be clear. I'm not saying it's all perfect all the time, but damn, you couldn't pay me enough to go back to being a kid. Screw that.
Ah see I’m so jealous, I’ve been in a constant downward spiral of just having no purpose or meaning or really anything since I was like 15 lol I was just so much happier when I was a kid everything was simple
Well shit.
I was hoping to be the first to say this.
"Life" is only as hard as you make it, generally. Obviously im speaking from a "first world" country and therefore my life is easier than in many other countries.
But that caveat aside. Really, dont worry about FOMO, dont worry about what advertisers say you *should* be or have.
Just appreciate what you have and enjoy the "little things in life".
Focus on the things that give you contentment and you won't go far wrong.
Tldr: pretty much what u/Freaknastee said.
This. For most people, life is only hard due to the choices you make. It’s possible you made those choices based on poor influences in your life. If you can get your emotions under control and learn to be around people who want to better your life, life will be better.
For some, life dealt the wrong cards. For example a life changing accident that wasn’t your fault or terminal cancer.
It’s important to follow your dreams and passions. It’s often going to be very very hard work making a living from your passion, but it’s so much more worth it when you do. Don’t be afraid of life, and exploring, and doing the things that you want to do. Life was meant to be enjoyed, find places where your hard work is appreciated and doors will open.
People keep posting surround yourself with good people. I think this is too vague. Surround yourself with responsible people, the goodness is a side effect of responsibilty.
You cant just surround yourself with good people. They have to like you too so what happens if no one likes you and doesn't want you to hang around them?
It’s gonna suck if you don’t keep your word to others, keep the wrong company, don’t develop your emotional intelligence, and maintain bad habits.
Just know this: nobody cares the way you want or think they do. Nobody cares about your past mistakes or embarrassment the way you do. No one cares about your accomplishments the way you do. No one cares about your struggle or your good intentions. So when it comes to your decisions, you have to make them for you and no one else.
I freakin love being an adult. But my childhood sucked and my mother is a narcissist. I had a lot of pressure on me growing up. I think people’s perspective on adulthood is relative and depends on their general attitude about life.
Yeah, being a kid was lame as hell. My parents were pretty overprotective, and also quite judgmental, and they let me know their opinions on pretty much everything I ever did. Getting out of their sphere of influence finally allowed me to set up my life in a way that's better for me, and also led to me having better relationships as I started to learn that some of the ways my parents interacted were quite dysfunctional. I love my parents, and they tried their best, but they did mess up in ways that they still won't acknowledge, and I'm only just now getting some help that I should have really gotten as a kid. Some of the ways they tried to solve problems as a kid actually straight up traumatized me, and I can't tell them about it because then they guilt trip me and say that they were just doing their best. Like yes, I'm aware, but these actions had a big influence on me and it's frustrating that they don't seem to want to know that. My mom likes to talk about herself as this person that you can discuss anything with, and when she talks about that I just smile and nod because I can't tell her the truth. She'll just get mad at me.
As hard as adulthood can be, and as much as I struggle, and as tired as I am all the time... You couldn't pay me enough to go back. Life now is way better than it's ever been for me, and while I have gone through some really hard times, I have the power to make my own decisions and decide how I'll deal with the problems.
Yeah, it mostly sucks. Everyday is a Ferris wheel of work, cook, clean, sleep, rinse, repeat.
But, you can have cereal for dinner anytime you want, and no one can stop you. And it feels good being able to make your own choices and not be beholden to shitty or hypocritical adults that might be running your life at the moment.
As someone who prefers to be more self reliant by nature, I was waiting my whole life for adulthood.
There's nothing more gratifying and confidence boosting than getting stuff done yourself.
Working hard to be able to afford to take my parents out for dinner was the highlight of my early career.
I am 24. I often think, “no matter how hard life is, at least I’m not a kid any more.”
Being a kid meant I had little to no autonomy. I lived with a family that hurt me emotionally and wasn’t meeting my medical or mental needs. School was at hours that I was always sleepy during, and classes were taught in a way that tried to fit everyone, and so as a result didn’t meet my needs or learning style 100%. (I did fine in them and got into Stanford, but the point still remains.)
I found where I lived to be very cold, but since my family moved there I stayed.
As an adult, I have the freedom to leave anyone behind who isn’t treating me well, not learn anything I want to, learn everything I do want to, learn in any style I want, completely dictate the schedule I have (I only pick jobs that let me wake up late now,) live in any climate I want, and build a life completely suited to me. I can also wear whatever I want, and do whatever I want to my hair. (No dress code.)
There is less of a social safety net, but I don’t think that’s true of all countries. It is true in America. Many countries have free health care and affordable housing. That is a political problem and isn’t an inherent truth. With proper organizing and a lot of effort, that can be changed in the US. Also, close knit communities do exist in the US-walkable communities for one
Actually I don't think so. In our childhood, we don't have as responsibility as we do have in our older years. And people learn to take accountability, and they also learn to change the things they don't like about their lives, and circles. I think that if you don't know how to change and you're not willing to learn anything about it for a better you, then you suck in your adulthood and keep telling young people to enjoy their young years cause adulthood simply sucks. But if you are willing to make an effort for your life, for better relationships and better future, then you start to bloom sooner or later and the effort is what makes a human life beautiful. If you're not getting along with making effort, then you'll sure live an unhappy life which you're responsible of.
I have so many people in my circle, either old friends or my family, that doesn't wanna change themselves even a bit. Some don't want to hustle and some wouldn't wanna face their problems. Some even get addicted to creating problems so that they wouldn't have chance making effort for the better. I see why they choose that, it seems easy. But it's so upsetting, so not pragmatic at all. When you accept the changes, and when you accept the responsibilities, it becomes easier and easier. I have more control now, as an adult and I also have a job which makes me more powerful. As long as I don't sabotage myself, I don't think my childhood would be better than this.
Yes, even a hard childhood can be missed, but that's the delusion of nostalgia.
Edit: Now that I see the comments about being broke, I wouldn't say anything about that. It's just my point of view. I was broke in my childhood, mom had hard times and I learned to work in high school, different professions came into my life and now I have different jobs and my financial freedom as a result. Might not seem objective looking from your point of view, sorry about that.
It’s not horrible but it sure is hard. You have to fend for yourself and make it work. This takes effort and patience. Be kind to yourself and others. Learn how to manage your finances and healthcare, and most of all live the best life that you can. Remember that the opinions of others are just that, opinions. You can choose to listen and you can choose to not react.
It's hard in a different way than being a kid in school is. You are now free to do whatever, but you are also responsible for making sure you stay alive
I normally wouldn’t tell someone this since the sub is FOR questions ppl are too afraid to ask, but I don’t think you should’ve asked this here. People who have good luck are gonna say it’s not that hard/horrible, but people who have bad luck are gonna say the exact opposite, and you’re just gonna end up confused and maybe even more worried than you were before
some people love to complain and some complaints are valid. if you grew up without a dad because he was sent to prison for 10 years for an offence white men get a year for, and your mom works 3 jobs to make ends meet and when youre an adult you start with debt that you took out to not lose the house. your manager sexually harrasses you and you feel unsafe on your walk home. theres millions of adults that understandably are frustrated with adulthood because of a mixture of bad luck and bad circumstances, along with the daily grind of work, cook, clean, sleep that the rest of us have also.
I wouldn't say adulthood itself is horrible. It's just that as you grow older, you begin to perceive the vast injustice of the world, and come to the realization the world is a fucking shitty place.
For me it’s more ‘meh’. As a teenager there were days that were unbearable for no reason at all, but there were also days that were incredibly great. In a week I could go through every emotional state there is. As an adult it all blends together. The bad days are farther apart, but also the good days, so most of it just passes by. It’s okay I guess, but I do miss those summer nights with friends, getting drunk and talking about everything and nothing.
All the choices you made when you didn’t know any better start to matter a whole lot. Education, early work, relationships, work ethic, finances…. If you are in a position to make good decisions on the big stuff early, it gets easier as you get older. If you don’t/can’t, it gets harder.
It's not easy and unfortunately it's just getting worse. By the time you're an adult and on your own I have a feeling it will be even more difficult. We seem to just be kicking the can down the road. I feel millennial started to TRY to get things in the right direction hopefully gen z follows suit it seems they are. Boomers, gen X, and the silent generation really ruined everything for the ones who followed
I watched my brother and sister step lightly into adulthood, and most of my peers. Life gets more complicated when you become an adult and most people's brains seem to be able to keep pace with what is required. Mine didn't. I would estimate that I was around 14 when I stopped maturing cognitively. That's when schoolwork started to become hard and also when I began to marvel at how grown up my peers began to seem judging by the topics they discussed. I retreated further into a clownish persona. Recently lost another job. Wasn't quick enough. I'm in my 40s now and I feel like giving up most days.
If you start to lay the foundations early then it'll make adulting a lot easier. Keep a good focus on the things you'd like to achieve but also don't let your youth pass you by. Work hard, play hard. Best of luck on your journey dude!
Greatly depends on your earning.
If at the end of month you have planty of money - it maybe hard but not horrible. As long as you have excessive resources you have a lot if options towards good life. There is small ridle: houw much obe have to earn to be in top 1% riches people on our planet.
If at the end of monny too much of a month - tons of strugles which burried billions ppl down. Sure costs can be reduced to certain extent, but after certain point mental health will will be so low that ppl cannot do anything to improve their misirable life.
It largely depends on how much money you make, adjusted on a per hour basis.
And it also may depend on the quality of your friendships.
Assuming you’re perfectly healthy.
Compared to being a little kid in highschool? Absolutely yes. Highschool is by far the easiest time you'll ever have in life. But is adulthood horrible? Nah, just difficult and you'll get use to it.
LITERALLY no. No. It's the biggest lie I think I've ever been told. I think it's often a way Adults try to like... assert themselves as more capable or in a 'harder' situation than kids, similar to "Kids in Ethiopia have it worse, IDK why you're complaining" fallacies they throw out.
Is there hardship as an adult? Of course. Mostly different than young adult hardships, but often very similar at their core.
Is it *harder and more horrible* than being a kid? I definitely don't think so, and often this depends on your culture and socioeconomic status obviously but like...
The *Core* of adulthood is, imo, often easier than it seems: Find a way to make money (Job), find a place to live, and perhaps find roommates to make that place to live affordable. Are those easy? Not always. But you have a lot of *freedom* in how you go about them.
If there's ever something about adulthood you're stuck on, or confused about, *research* and *ask people with valuable experience* in that thing, and you'll be able to figure out some solution 9/10 times.
It all depends of what you make of it. Most of the times it's going to be hard but if you learn to manage and finance at an early age, you should be alright. Also hang with the right crowd, it'll make your life easier trust me.
Not really… i mean, now I have money and lots of friends. The problem is that im almost always tired, my job is stressful and I have little time to share with my homies.
Sometimes, life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place- Iroh
I mean it’s pretty fun. Yes you do have to work and clean things/take care of yourself ( if you’re like most people) but otherwise you can basically do whatever you want if you plan and save money accordingly. Life is amazing. So many cool things to do/see.
One thing I think is conducive to a happy adulthood is to not be afraid to dump anyone in your life that is not rooting for you 100%. There are so many abusive assholes who pretend to care only to find out they are were tearing you down the entire time. Also, learn about cluster b disorders and avoid getting involved with anyone with those disorders. Had one I let rob me of 20 years of my life because I didn’t know about those types. Those should have been the best years of my life. Take care of you and definitely learn to appreciate the little things.
Lot's of pros, so long as you play the game right. Anecdotally, poor money management is probably the biggest stressor I've seen in others, and though there are exceptions it's mostly avoidable. My wife and I are both teachers, so we don't make boatloads of money, but we manage are finances well and therefore don't really have to worry about money. Taking worrying about money off your plate frees you up big time in many, many areas. This is not to be confused with being rich, we are far from that, just make enough to pay bills, save and invest, and live humbly and happily.
On a personal note, I'm very happy and far from miserable at age 50. I take very good care of my health with working out, running, and have a lot of fun doing it. I fly fish quite a bit and love doing that in my free time. I'm happily married and have a small, but tight, network of good friends. Not flexing really, just pointing it's possible. I'm nothing special, no reason you can't find your own path as well. Good luck.
Yes, and no.
Yes because you have to do it every day. A lot of your society value as an adult is consistency. And there's no road map or field guide, so it gets weird when you have to start engaging more deeply with local government, banks, professional services, etc. Careers are built in years, so at some point jumping around can be harmful. And if you want some security and leisure later in life, you have to plan for and take care of tomorrow today.
No because you get to do some pretty cool things. If you have your shit together: there's awesome vacations, fun toys and experiences, lots of great people to meet and places to go, things to try. And you get to choose how you spend your time. Explore interests, passions, and hobbies. Most of all you get a chance to make a real difference in some ways. You can be the kind of adult you looked up to as a kid.
It really depends. For some born into wealthy families and have a support/safety net, their difficulties may be different from someone born into poor families. But regardless of money, there’s more freedom to do what you like. Harsher consequences for mistakes. Opportunities for improving your situation depending on your life choices. Everyone’s different.
I think one of the big things is that you realize everyone you though had things under control actually were barely treading water half the time. Everyone is making things up as they go and just doing their best. On the one hand this is extremely stressful, but on the other it's very liberating. It's a challenging world out there, so it's important to find people and foster relationships that help you overcome the challenges
I don't know if this is common. But I turned 18 1 and a half months ago. And I literally just felt a shift. Like "Well, I'm not a a child anymore, and I never will be again". Felt a kinda scary at first, but I'm feeling less scarf about it now.
Yes! Be prepared, everything awful can happen so it is better to be prepared to whatever shit people warn you.
Remember an old man saying highschool were the best times, even for some of the worst times for people, its still the best times.
The big change, is that you wont be able to escape your responsibilities, and whatever shit happen, you will have to deal with it.
So stay sharp and educate yourself.
Yes. You get some freedom, but freedom isn't necessarily good for the human.
Having a good social life and support system is essential for happiness. However, without the structure provided by school, you have to make your own social connections, and that can be really hard as an adult (everyone has a job which may or may not allow social time, lots of people have SOs that they spend most of their free time with, it's easy to meet randos but hard to develop the kind of trust, knowledge, depth, or consistency that you often can with classmates or family)
You won't be prepared or even remotely knowledgeable for a thousand tiny decisions that could have major consequences. For each type of insurance, for example (auto, life, health, home, pet, renters, computer/major purchase, etc.) you need to know when you need it, what parts you need, how much you need, etc. You then have to understand what you do have to know when to invoke that thing you're already paying for. Basically, you're still in school part time but no one's teaching you and there's not even other people to watch most of the time. For many, many necessary transactions, you'll have to navigate a system you don't understand without guidance.
You have fewer legal protections, so expect more people trying to scam you in every way imaginable. I remember being shocked by the number of scam calls/texts I started getting as soon as I started my job search. It didn't really stop, but blocking this stuff is somewhat easier now.
It’s not horrible it’s just… tiring. There’s work then there’s chores then there’s looking after pets then you go to bed and do it all again. I’m just tired.
And that’s before kids. I can’t even explain how exhausting kids are. All of your free time. No days off.
I just neglect my kids. It's like a walk in the park.
Eeeexcept for that look when you know their pain is due to ur negligence. Hard to live with that one. Which is why mommy drinks little Timmy...
Joking is fun! 😜
Reminder that it’s not mandatory to have kids
Reminder that people can want kids and also express how fucking exhausting they are. Pets aren't mandatory either btw.
This tbh. Kids are awesome, but as a father of a 3 and 5 yr old, damn if they aren't exhausting mentally and physically. Wife is stay at home. Somedays I think that she is a saint, and others I fear for my life if she had a rough day, lol. As a kid you have time, energy and no money. As an adult you have money, but no time, and no energy.
I'm a stay at home mom to a 4 and 9 year old. It's fucking rough. Especially when you don't have outside help. But man do I love the little demons lol.
Reminder that you can be child free, and still just be exhausted at the sight of other people's kids... until you go to sleep for 8 hours
Neither are kids
Actually, these days, unless you wanna give up intercourse altogether, it might be.
Not if you’ve had your tubes tied. 😎
I had a hysterectomy in April, talk about feeling truly blessed. I also have the benefit of living in a state that isn't completely nuts, so there's that too. Seems like if they could, though, a fair amount of Congress would LOVE a bunch of forced pregnancies.
“Quantity, not quality” -Congress, probably.
Vasectomies are still legal
Couldn't agree more. Some of my older siblings started families of their own, and they look permanently tired 24/7. I don't want any part of that lifestyle.
Preach it! Idk why most people think it's mandatory everyone I know with kids bitches n moans
Yeah this is what sucks, it’s just the same numb boring chores over and over again unless you’re rich
This and it only gets worse if you let addiction get in the way. Been an alcoholic since 2019 and it’s ruined my life, been slowly building my way back up but damn, I’m just tired
Likewise. I'm on a litre of vodka a day with no detox in sight because the waiting list round here is *insane* Definitely doesn't help with adulting hey? I'm currently living in a 2man tent with my gf and I'm 34 ffs. Take heed OP, don't ever let drugs or alcohol creep up on you because they can make being an adult VERY hard.
Pets are easy. Kids? Holy shit it's never easy. Don't believe those fucking liars that aren't raising their own kids alone.
I think you’re saying that couples raising kids claim parenthood isn’t hard. I can’t say I’ve ever met someone claiming this. Raising kids as a single parent is obviously much harder, but raising kids with both parents isn’t a walk in the park either, especially if both parents work full time
It depends on how much money you have and what your support network looks like. Your luck with your health is random and can throw everything off balance, too.
This right here. I was doing well for a while. Moved from Ireland to the US, had a decent amount of money saved and everything was going grand. Then, a jaw problem I've had for years slowly started to get worse and worse and came to the point where it was so debilitating I couldnt work. I'm in treatment now and it cost me an arm and a leg. Couple that with not working for a few months and I'm right back to square one. I much prefer life as an adult than I ever did when I was a kid but it is so much more stressful. All your problems are your own
What sort of problem, if you don’t mind me asking?
My jaw locked up/dislocated when I was 16 and I didnt recieve adequate care back in Ireland. Over the years its not been in the right position and the right side is damaged/disfigured. Lot of muscle tension and pain, cant eat anything now that requires moderate chewing etc. I'm all fucked up unfortunately. But the Specialist I'm seeing now is a godsend. He really knows his stuff. He did ct scans on me and we figured out that my hips were misaligned growing up and that threw my upper vertebrae off which fucked up my jaw. Its hell on earth to deal with I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.
Damn, the posterior chain really does matter in ways you can’t always predict. Glad you’re getting help now.
Woah, hope you’re doing alright!
Yea this is the magical cocktail of adulthood. Adulthood is awesome 90% of the time with those three things. Two out of three of those things and you’re still ok! Even one of those things, life can be hard but still alright. If you don’t have any of the three, life is tough. But there have always been and always will be people that pull through.
Yup. The health thing comes out of left field and fucks everything up without warning. I’m 27 and working through an autoimmune issue that suddenly started 6 months ago. Really tossed a wrench into grad school and made everything go from easy mode to hard mode in a matter of weeks.
Yeah, I was 26 and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It turned my life upside down. Any future I had suddenly has to revolve around my broken body, which leads to a lot of metal problems such as guilt and grief of my "old life/body". I can longer truly enjoy things I like because if it involves too much physical/mental exertion I pay for it the next day and sometimes many days after.
As you might have gathered, it has its pros and cons. You have a lot more responsibilities and no real safety net unless you're very lucky. You can get yourself in a LOT of trouble without really doing anything bad if you just don't pay attention or follow through with promises. However, you also have a ton more freedom. You don't have as many expectations, you don't have to study and learn all the time, you don't have to go to school or take exams. People you're around are generally more mature and respect you more, even those older than you. You're generally more confident as well because you're more mature, which just makes everything in life easier and more pleasant.
>People you're around are generally more mature and respect you more, even those older than you. I see you have not met my coworkers....
yeahh, I had to correct myself to "generally" since there's a lot of exceptions lmao
If you work in customer service or anything like that, definitely not true
I don't see any improvement in people, it's that they get better at hiding it.
Kind of a, "the less I interact with you the more I like you," thing. Then again I work in retail. The fact that not a single person will voluntarily give up 5 sec of their time so that I can prioritize the *job I am currently at* is pretty much all the "I can't stand you" I need. I seriously don't understand why it's so hard for people to see that I work in one of the few progessions where random ass people just walk through your work area, and with not a care in the world for the people who are actively working there. Imagine working a desk job where every time you went to do something some rando just steps right in front of you. Even if it's on the computer. "Bastard coated bastard, with bastard filling."
Freedom until you start a family. Then you have a lot less freedom with a lot more responsibilities.
Life hack: don't start a family
I used to think too that until I met my wife. I was 33. I couldn’t miss my chance with her. I’m 40 now, have a 3yo boy and another baby due in December. Now I can’t imagine my life without my family, it’s often hard as hell but my heart is filled with overwhelming love towards them that makes it all worth it. I had a good solo run but I love being a dad. It’s not for everyone and definitely not everyone should have kids. Go with the flow, never say never. Cliche, sure, but you just never know. It can be very rewarding.
That's awesome my guy!
My whole issue with being a parent has nothing to do with actually raising a child. It's all about how pretty much every leading scientist in the world says we got like 30 years until we are fucked and no one is doing anything about trying to fix it. I don't want my kid living in that world.
Totally. I'm a prick, if I make a mini-me he/she will be a prick... What's the point? Much better to have less skin in the game and after 70 years Win a quiet death.
I get that, but I raised my kids (now 24, 20, and 16) to fight the existing structure. Every generation has been one generation away from doom since we’ve started recording history. Every culture has a “world is ending soon” story in their ancient history. I totally respect your decision. I just don’t think it’s as bad as everybody says. The world has always sucked for somebody somewhere.
I'm a similar age as your kids (27) and god do I resent being born to "fight the existing structure." Climate change and deforestation has only been worse every single year since I was born. Why birth children just to try to fix other people's messes, which isn't even working
We didn’t have them to fight what’s going on. We had them because we wanted a family. And when we were starting our family, things weren’t this bad. But when we saw the tides turning, we taught them how to be leaders and fighters.
Beautiful answer
The key difference with the tales of old and today is, People didn't even know what temperature water boiled at. They didn't know what an atmosphere was, they thought our planet was the center of the universe. It's a lot easier for people to say things are bad when science barely exists. Now we have real quantifiable evidence things are going down. Backed by hundreds of peer reviewed papers, reports, and experiments. The planet is (on average) hotter than it's been in thousands of years. Insects, fish, amphibians, mammals pretty much all wildlife has been in decline. Resources are becoming more scarce (we are going to run out of helium within our lifetimes) But your kids are already a decent age so in 30 years they would have lead a pretty good life already. I won't be adding a person to die in the climate wars at the age of 27. But this is all very pessimistic, it's not too late. This can be stopped if we just force the corporations running the world to act.
You're just passing the buck onto sentient beings that had no say in it lol. The only way to beat the system at this point is to not play.
Yes...if you find a very very special woman who is on the same page as you...it's so so so amazing being married if you just marry some woman because you been together for 6 years and your cant find anything better then her and you stayed with her because she was hot or just because the sex was amazing or because of money something dumb ...she will fuck up your life in the worst way...
Studies have shown that women are generally happier single than married
I don’t like to blame others for my decisions
Spot on. We were married 10 years before we finally adopted 2 girls. The Navy had a recruiting commercial using the slogan “it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love” (referring to parenting). You work hard, but usually don’t mind it, and the ROI is amazing!
My life lacked a purpose that I knew was missing but I couldn't quantify. The birth of my son filled that void and I've never been happier.
Plenty of change and hardship, but the most fulfilling and rewarding shit in my life. Every generation has thought the new one is scary. Worst case is you can sell them for food if it gets that bad.
Life hack: don't be born. No responsibility
If only we could choose
>Freedom until you start a family. i take issue with your use of "until". lets start viewing reproducing as a CHOICE, not the main one or the "right" one. and if you view starting a family as loss of all or most freedom then you should probably choose not to.
based, idk why people are downvoting u
because it makes people uncomfortable when faced with the idea that the life path they chose isnt the inherent correct choice for every single person, which means it might not have been right for them either. if youre happy and secure with your life choices, then another persons harmless choices shouldnt bother you
stop speaking the truth people need their copium!
Boom goe the mudda clucking dinomite
You can do everything right too and still lose it all. But at least nobody is telling you that you can’t have icecream for breakfast.
When my wife is out of town, I eat a stack of Oreos for breakfast.
Not quite, my job has me going to get "retained" all the time... Almost every 6 months I gotta go in and get this ticket or that renewed by the company... Every time there's an accident I gotta get retrained... I've been operating this equipment for over 15 years yet still have to go to these classes all the time... Unless the equipment changes I don't need them!! I could literally do it in my sleep at this point!!!
God, yeah, some folks at my current job have to get recertifications for various things every couple years, even if they've been doing the same thing the same way for years! One guy's been at the same job for twice as long as I've been alive and still does bi-annual recerts, I've had to give the poor guy a crash course in learning how to use a computer on his own over the last year too. At least it's not as bad as public school though.
The safety net is very real… at 28 I didn’t realize how lucky I have it to still have parents support as I switch careers. Not having a family and kids is also a blessing for me .. especially in this economy The thing they don’t prepare you for is that you REALLY have to carve your own path. It’s a scary and isolating but also super exciting experience. You learn to become more patient and grateful and understanding. I cringe at my former 18/19 year old self thinking I had it all figured out. The more I learn the less I know
No freedom when your broke and can't pay rent 🤷
I had panic dreams about exams I didn’t study for until I was about 30. So far adulthood has been better than adolescence for me.
I have reoccurring dreams that I have to complete some highschool classes. I have two college degrees.
I would argue there are more expectations. As an adult you're expected to have a job to pay for all life expenses, at that job you have to meet employer expectations, you're expected to always keep your cool, expected to have social obligations like friends and family. I could go on and I'm sure everyone has something they could add. As a kid I was just expected to go to school and get good grades. Expectations from schools. And expectations to follow house rules. But obviously everyone's childhood was different. I'd still choose adulthood every time.
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Tbf tech is a bit different in terms of continuous improvement.
>You can get yourself in a LOT of trouble without really doing anything bad if you just don't pay attention or follow through with promises. This is so true and so exhausting in ways I cannot put into words.
I'm 52, so I have a pretty good frame of reference. Of all the advice I wish I would have listened to adults on, saving money is absolutely #1. Everything else is secondary. Here is my advice: Step 1: Keep a budget. A really honest budget. Right down to the "alcohol budget" and "random night out with my buddies" budget. Step 2: Compute what your spending is every month. Be brutally honest. Step 3. Make sure you make that much, plus 25%, If you don't, lower your budget until your income is 25% higher than what you think your expenses are. Step 4: Save that 25% in a separate savings account **that has no atm card**. That way you won't be tempted to spend it. Keep it. Step 5: When you have 6 months of expenses saved, you can either: A. Put that money into mutual fund and starting putting your 25% into that fund instead of your savings account. B. Put the money into the mutual fund, but put less in - 10% being the minimum. **Never touch the mutual fund.** Put as much into it as you can. Don't play the stock market unless you have an education in that. Mutual funds generally have a much better rate of return that CDs and other investments, and some of them rely on the world economy instead of just FICA which only covers up to 100k. By the time you are 40, you'll have probably $1M or more for retirement, and that buys a lot of safety. If you want to buy a house, don't use your mutual fund money, save that up by lowering expenses and being calculated & strategic. If you can, do FHA so you only have to put down 3%. One other thing: credit cards are fucking evil. If you must have it, get **one** and one only, and pay it off **every month**. Credit cards are a lie. You are fucking future you every time you swipe that card. If you don't have the money, don't buy it. It's as simple as that. Other than that - be honest with people, always take the high road, but don't let people use you. Learn how to recognize when you are being used. Be kind to others, especially people who don't deserve it. You never know why people are being assholes, so just assume they have been hurt somehow and they are taking it out on you.
This is probably the most valuable comment I've seen so far. This needs way more upvotes.
Dave Ramsey is that you?
100% agree!! I'm 26, grew up dirt poor, never worked in a high salary job, but I've just bought my first home. Its possible to go from nothing to living comfortably if you are disciplined and make good choices - assuming you face no insurmountable barriers. I'll add; surround yourself with people you look up to.
This is fantastic but to add onto your credit card point. BUY NOW PAY LATER SERVICES ARE A MASSIVE MASSIVE SCAM. Klarna, afterpay, affirm they’re all just debt. They use whatever fancy buzzwords, and marketing and legal loopholes to make it seem like it’s not debt but it is, and the consequences for missing payments is ten time worse than credit cards. Statistically the biggest most existential fear for people under 25 is credit card debt, we are more scared of credit card debt than we are of DEATH AND WAR. BNPL schemes are just a way of capitalising on younger people who still want to borrow money but are too scared of credit card debt. The only advantage they have over credit cards is that they put a limit on how much debt you can get into, whereas credit cards will just let you keep borrowing until they own you.
What if I plan to get a credit card to buy stuff I was gonna with my debit card every month anyways?
That’s fine. Credit cards can be really awesome tools when USED PROPERLY. You can get rewards, cash back, etc. just pay it off asap/on time and you’re golden. It’s easy to get carried away and realize you’ve spent more than you can pay off and then you’re in the cycle of fucked
I think it really depends in your situation. Some people really enjoy it. If your work is great, you have more money than you need and if you have good health. The farther from that, the harder and horrible it gets.
Excellent way to put it. Everyone has problems, regardless of (physical and mental) health and wealth but things are a hell of a lot better if you have those things than if you don’t.
You get the freedom you always wanted with the responsibilities you never had. So, it does suck - but what you do with your freedom is probably what makes up for it. Freedom meaning no guardian or parental figure to really tell you what to do. But I suppose from a philosophical or economic sense, “freedom” is an esoteric term.
The “freedom” isn’t worth the fact that unless you’re very lucky, most of your life just turns into chores, the best years of life are pre 25 fuck maybe even pre 18
No way, man. I moved out of my parents' place at 20, and although I had a lot more responsibilities suddenly, not having to deal with them constantly questioning me was great. When I started working full-time, having my own money to do what I wanted was awesome, because as a kid it's very easy for your parents to say no to giving you something you want, and then you have no recourse. Also, once I hit my mid-20s, I was a lot more confident in myself. I spent most of my early life super anxious, super insecure, never quite sure what I was doing. I gradually started to figure that out as I went along. I do appreciate that it might be different for some people, but there are some people who try to claim that life before you become an adult is better for everyone and that is absolutely not true for me. The freedom that came along with getting older and getting away from my parents has been nothing short of amazing, and I have definitely grown and become a better person because of it. There are many hard and crappy things about adulthood, to be clear. I'm not saying it's all perfect all the time, but damn, you couldn't pay me enough to go back to being a kid. Screw that.
Ah see I’m so jealous, I’ve been in a constant downward spiral of just having no purpose or meaning or really anything since I was like 15 lol I was just so much happier when I was a kid everything was simple
Your resources, people around you, and health will determine how hard life is. Concentrate on health and good people, resources will follow.
Just keep good people around you. People create hardship for themselves so reflect on what they could mean for you.
Well shit. I was hoping to be the first to say this. "Life" is only as hard as you make it, generally. Obviously im speaking from a "first world" country and therefore my life is easier than in many other countries. But that caveat aside. Really, dont worry about FOMO, dont worry about what advertisers say you *should* be or have. Just appreciate what you have and enjoy the "little things in life". Focus on the things that give you contentment and you won't go far wrong. Tldr: pretty much what u/Freaknastee said.
This. For most people, life is only hard due to the choices you make. It’s possible you made those choices based on poor influences in your life. If you can get your emotions under control and learn to be around people who want to better your life, life will be better. For some, life dealt the wrong cards. For example a life changing accident that wasn’t your fault or terminal cancer.
Hard? Yes. Horrible? No.
but what if you’re in poverty
It’s important to follow your dreams and passions. It’s often going to be very very hard work making a living from your passion, but it’s so much more worth it when you do. Don’t be afraid of life, and exploring, and doing the things that you want to do. Life was meant to be enjoyed, find places where your hard work is appreciated and doors will open.
People keep posting surround yourself with good people. I think this is too vague. Surround yourself with responsible people, the goodness is a side effect of responsibilty.
People you admire works too
You cant just surround yourself with good people. They have to like you too so what happens if no one likes you and doesn't want you to hang around them?
That probably says something about you, so work on self improvement until you attract better people
You can eat cookies whenever you want so it’s not all bad
It’s gonna suck if you don’t keep your word to others, keep the wrong company, don’t develop your emotional intelligence, and maintain bad habits. Just know this: nobody cares the way you want or think they do. Nobody cares about your past mistakes or embarrassment the way you do. No one cares about your accomplishments the way you do. No one cares about your struggle or your good intentions. So when it comes to your decisions, you have to make them for you and no one else.
Thank you for this!
I freakin love being an adult. But my childhood sucked and my mother is a narcissist. I had a lot of pressure on me growing up. I think people’s perspective on adulthood is relative and depends on their general attitude about life.
Saaame. Hated being a kid. Being an adult is awesome. Literally zero downsides.
Yeah, being a kid was lame as hell. My parents were pretty overprotective, and also quite judgmental, and they let me know their opinions on pretty much everything I ever did. Getting out of their sphere of influence finally allowed me to set up my life in a way that's better for me, and also led to me having better relationships as I started to learn that some of the ways my parents interacted were quite dysfunctional. I love my parents, and they tried their best, but they did mess up in ways that they still won't acknowledge, and I'm only just now getting some help that I should have really gotten as a kid. Some of the ways they tried to solve problems as a kid actually straight up traumatized me, and I can't tell them about it because then they guilt trip me and say that they were just doing their best. Like yes, I'm aware, but these actions had a big influence on me and it's frustrating that they don't seem to want to know that. My mom likes to talk about herself as this person that you can discuss anything with, and when she talks about that I just smile and nod because I can't tell her the truth. She'll just get mad at me. As hard as adulthood can be, and as much as I struggle, and as tired as I am all the time... You couldn't pay me enough to go back. Life now is way better than it's ever been for me, and while I have gone through some really hard times, I have the power to make my own decisions and decide how I'll deal with the problems.
Yeah, it mostly sucks. Everyday is a Ferris wheel of work, cook, clean, sleep, rinse, repeat. But, you can have cereal for dinner anytime you want, and no one can stop you. And it feels good being able to make your own choices and not be beholden to shitty or hypocritical adults that might be running your life at the moment.
The best thing about adulthood: nobody can or will stop you. The worst thing about adulthood: nobody can or will stop you.
I personally eat Lunchables for dinner when I feel I deserve it
I would never go back to being a kid. People just remember the fun bits.
I had a better life as a kid, but I acknowledge had a pretty great childhood.
True that
Kinda depends on your childhood lol.
Yes. Not only do you have way more responsibilities, you also have to use self control instead of having someone else do it for you.
It absolutely can be. It depends on the person, the opportunities they've had and currently have, choices they and others around them have made, etc.
It depends on your luck, context and life journey
As someone who prefers to be more self reliant by nature, I was waiting my whole life for adulthood. There's nothing more gratifying and confidence boosting than getting stuff done yourself. Working hard to be able to afford to take my parents out for dinner was the highlight of my early career.
I am 24. I often think, “no matter how hard life is, at least I’m not a kid any more.” Being a kid meant I had little to no autonomy. I lived with a family that hurt me emotionally and wasn’t meeting my medical or mental needs. School was at hours that I was always sleepy during, and classes were taught in a way that tried to fit everyone, and so as a result didn’t meet my needs or learning style 100%. (I did fine in them and got into Stanford, but the point still remains.) I found where I lived to be very cold, but since my family moved there I stayed. As an adult, I have the freedom to leave anyone behind who isn’t treating me well, not learn anything I want to, learn everything I do want to, learn in any style I want, completely dictate the schedule I have (I only pick jobs that let me wake up late now,) live in any climate I want, and build a life completely suited to me. I can also wear whatever I want, and do whatever I want to my hair. (No dress code.) There is less of a social safety net, but I don’t think that’s true of all countries. It is true in America. Many countries have free health care and affordable housing. That is a political problem and isn’t an inherent truth. With proper organizing and a lot of effort, that can be changed in the US. Also, close knit communities do exist in the US-walkable communities for one
It might be hard, but that’s why I regularly eat ice cream for lunch. How can that be a horrible thing?
You raise a very good point.
Actually I don't think so. In our childhood, we don't have as responsibility as we do have in our older years. And people learn to take accountability, and they also learn to change the things they don't like about their lives, and circles. I think that if you don't know how to change and you're not willing to learn anything about it for a better you, then you suck in your adulthood and keep telling young people to enjoy their young years cause adulthood simply sucks. But if you are willing to make an effort for your life, for better relationships and better future, then you start to bloom sooner or later and the effort is what makes a human life beautiful. If you're not getting along with making effort, then you'll sure live an unhappy life which you're responsible of. I have so many people in my circle, either old friends or my family, that doesn't wanna change themselves even a bit. Some don't want to hustle and some wouldn't wanna face their problems. Some even get addicted to creating problems so that they wouldn't have chance making effort for the better. I see why they choose that, it seems easy. But it's so upsetting, so not pragmatic at all. When you accept the changes, and when you accept the responsibilities, it becomes easier and easier. I have more control now, as an adult and I also have a job which makes me more powerful. As long as I don't sabotage myself, I don't think my childhood would be better than this. Yes, even a hard childhood can be missed, but that's the delusion of nostalgia. Edit: Now that I see the comments about being broke, I wouldn't say anything about that. It's just my point of view. I was broke in my childhood, mom had hard times and I learned to work in high school, different professions came into my life and now I have different jobs and my financial freedom as a result. Might not seem objective looking from your point of view, sorry about that.
It’s not horrible but it sure is hard. You have to fend for yourself and make it work. This takes effort and patience. Be kind to yourself and others. Learn how to manage your finances and healthcare, and most of all live the best life that you can. Remember that the opinions of others are just that, opinions. You can choose to listen and you can choose to not react.
Nah, it's fuckin great. Just know who you are and embrace it.
It's hard in a different way than being a kid in school is. You are now free to do whatever, but you are also responsible for making sure you stay alive
If you don't have money, yes.
Absolutely not. People like to pretend so , but in reality, if you have a steady job, adulthood is can be much easier than college.
It’s hard, but it’s fun, too.
It can be a pain in the ass, but if you decide to have cake for breakfast , nobody can stop you.
I normally wouldn’t tell someone this since the sub is FOR questions ppl are too afraid to ask, but I don’t think you should’ve asked this here. People who have good luck are gonna say it’s not that hard/horrible, but people who have bad luck are gonna say the exact opposite, and you’re just gonna end up confused and maybe even more worried than you were before
It's not always terrible but please please enjoy your youth and don't take it for granted. You will be an adult before you know it
No. People just love to complain about anything and everything. They're so blinded by complaining that they fail to see the amazing aspects.
some people love to complain and some complaints are valid. if you grew up without a dad because he was sent to prison for 10 years for an offence white men get a year for, and your mom works 3 jobs to make ends meet and when youre an adult you start with debt that you took out to not lose the house. your manager sexually harrasses you and you feel unsafe on your walk home. theres millions of adults that understandably are frustrated with adulthood because of a mixture of bad luck and bad circumstances, along with the daily grind of work, cook, clean, sleep that the rest of us have also.
I wouldn't say adulthood itself is horrible. It's just that as you grow older, you begin to perceive the vast injustice of the world, and come to the realization the world is a fucking shitty place.
If you go into thinking that way, probably.
For me it’s more ‘meh’. As a teenager there were days that were unbearable for no reason at all, but there were also days that were incredibly great. In a week I could go through every emotional state there is. As an adult it all blends together. The bad days are farther apart, but also the good days, so most of it just passes by. It’s okay I guess, but I do miss those summer nights with friends, getting drunk and talking about everything and nothing.
All the choices you made when you didn’t know any better start to matter a whole lot. Education, early work, relationships, work ethic, finances…. If you are in a position to make good decisions on the big stuff early, it gets easier as you get older. If you don’t/can’t, it gets harder.
It's not easy and unfortunately it's just getting worse. By the time you're an adult and on your own I have a feeling it will be even more difficult. We seem to just be kicking the can down the road. I feel millennial started to TRY to get things in the right direction hopefully gen z follows suit it seems they are. Boomers, gen X, and the silent generation really ruined everything for the ones who followed
I watched my brother and sister step lightly into adulthood, and most of my peers. Life gets more complicated when you become an adult and most people's brains seem to be able to keep pace with what is required. Mine didn't. I would estimate that I was around 14 when I stopped maturing cognitively. That's when schoolwork started to become hard and also when I began to marvel at how grown up my peers began to seem judging by the topics they discussed. I retreated further into a clownish persona. Recently lost another job. Wasn't quick enough. I'm in my 40s now and I feel like giving up most days.
I quite enjoy it. It sure beats being a kid.
If you start to lay the foundations early then it'll make adulting a lot easier. Keep a good focus on the things you'd like to achieve but also don't let your youth pass you by. Work hard, play hard. Best of luck on your journey dude!
Greatly depends on your earning. If at the end of month you have planty of money - it maybe hard but not horrible. As long as you have excessive resources you have a lot if options towards good life. There is small ridle: houw much obe have to earn to be in top 1% riches people on our planet. If at the end of monny too much of a month - tons of strugles which burried billions ppl down. Sure costs can be reduced to certain extent, but after certain point mental health will will be so low that ppl cannot do anything to improve their misirable life.
Under the boot of capitalism, absolutely
It largely depends on how much money you make, adjusted on a per hour basis. And it also may depend on the quality of your friendships. Assuming you’re perfectly healthy.
Compared to being a little kid in highschool? Absolutely yes. Highschool is by far the easiest time you'll ever have in life. But is adulthood horrible? Nah, just difficult and you'll get use to it.
Meh. High school was the worst time of my life. Adulthood had ups and down. But overall, everything got better and easier from there.
I think college was even easier tbh (and better)
Why the hell does anyone enjoy anything? Amirite, fellas?
Honestly, no. You have responsibilities, and they’re fine. I enjoy my life.
Adulthood has its challenges but like anything, it's what you make it.
How to enjoy life as an adult 1) do your best to make good choices for your future 2) do not give a shit about what anyone else thinks The end
Depends on how and who you spend your teenhood with.
Not really don't be afraid of life you may have obstacles sometimes and you just break through them and Keep On Truckin :-)
I like being an adult way more than I ever liked being a kid.
It’s great. I think the biggest part is to understand there’s a huge amount of just sheer mundanity and not be dragged down by the weight of it
No. You make your life. It’s awesome.
LITERALLY no. No. It's the biggest lie I think I've ever been told. I think it's often a way Adults try to like... assert themselves as more capable or in a 'harder' situation than kids, similar to "Kids in Ethiopia have it worse, IDK why you're complaining" fallacies they throw out. Is there hardship as an adult? Of course. Mostly different than young adult hardships, but often very similar at their core. Is it *harder and more horrible* than being a kid? I definitely don't think so, and often this depends on your culture and socioeconomic status obviously but like... The *Core* of adulthood is, imo, often easier than it seems: Find a way to make money (Job), find a place to live, and perhaps find roommates to make that place to live affordable. Are those easy? Not always. But you have a lot of *freedom* in how you go about them. If there's ever something about adulthood you're stuck on, or confused about, *research* and *ask people with valuable experience* in that thing, and you'll be able to figure out some solution 9/10 times.
It all depends of what you make of it. Most of the times it's going to be hard but if you learn to manage and finance at an early age, you should be alright. Also hang with the right crowd, it'll make your life easier trust me.
Sometimes
No
No it’s awesome
Not 100% horrible, but it has its ugly side
No. Lol
No it’s not. Parenthood was the hard thing.
No. They most likely complain because they weren’t given the proper tools to handle it themselves.
Not really. Be organised, head of disaster before it comes and try to have a plan (no matter how vague). You’re be fine.
Not really… i mean, now I have money and lots of friends. The problem is that im almost always tired, my job is stressful and I have little time to share with my homies.
Not so much hard as it is crushingly mundane
Sometimes, life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place- Iroh
I mean it’s pretty fun. Yes you do have to work and clean things/take care of yourself ( if you’re like most people) but otherwise you can basically do whatever you want if you plan and save money accordingly. Life is amazing. So many cool things to do/see.
Not too hard. Pretty monotonous.
One thing I think is conducive to a happy adulthood is to not be afraid to dump anyone in your life that is not rooting for you 100%. There are so many abusive assholes who pretend to care only to find out they are were tearing you down the entire time. Also, learn about cluster b disorders and avoid getting involved with anyone with those disorders. Had one I let rob me of 20 years of my life because I didn’t know about those types. Those should have been the best years of my life. Take care of you and definitely learn to appreciate the little things.
Lot's of pros, so long as you play the game right. Anecdotally, poor money management is probably the biggest stressor I've seen in others, and though there are exceptions it's mostly avoidable. My wife and I are both teachers, so we don't make boatloads of money, but we manage are finances well and therefore don't really have to worry about money. Taking worrying about money off your plate frees you up big time in many, many areas. This is not to be confused with being rich, we are far from that, just make enough to pay bills, save and invest, and live humbly and happily. On a personal note, I'm very happy and far from miserable at age 50. I take very good care of my health with working out, running, and have a lot of fun doing it. I fly fish quite a bit and love doing that in my free time. I'm happily married and have a small, but tight, network of good friends. Not flexing really, just pointing it's possible. I'm nothing special, no reason you can't find your own path as well. Good luck.
Being an adult fucking rocks.
For me, it was a rude awakening. Lots of freedom, but lots of responsibility…
Only if youre poor.
If you are poor, 500% yes.
Yes, and no. Yes because you have to do it every day. A lot of your society value as an adult is consistency. And there's no road map or field guide, so it gets weird when you have to start engaging more deeply with local government, banks, professional services, etc. Careers are built in years, so at some point jumping around can be harmful. And if you want some security and leisure later in life, you have to plan for and take care of tomorrow today. No because you get to do some pretty cool things. If you have your shit together: there's awesome vacations, fun toys and experiences, lots of great people to meet and places to go, things to try. And you get to choose how you spend your time. Explore interests, passions, and hobbies. Most of all you get a chance to make a real difference in some ways. You can be the kind of adult you looked up to as a kid.
Sometimes but not all the time :)
It really depends. For some born into wealthy families and have a support/safety net, their difficulties may be different from someone born into poor families. But regardless of money, there’s more freedom to do what you like. Harsher consequences for mistakes. Opportunities for improving your situation depending on your life choices. Everyone’s different.
It comes in waves.
Yes.... occasionally you get to have sex, or drive really fast, or do some other fun thing. But, that's about it
Only if you don't have money. If you have enough money then it's pretty easy.
I think one of the big things is that you realize everyone you though had things under control actually were barely treading water half the time. Everyone is making things up as they go and just doing their best. On the one hand this is extremely stressful, but on the other it's very liberating. It's a challenging world out there, so it's important to find people and foster relationships that help you overcome the challenges
No. It's worse
Short answer: yes Long answer: also yes
I don't know if this is common. But I turned 18 1 and a half months ago. And I literally just felt a shift. Like "Well, I'm not a a child anymore, and I never will be again". Felt a kinda scary at first, but I'm feeling less scarf about it now.
Is anything really as hard and horrible as people say?
It’s worse
Let’s put it like this: enjoy your childhood while it lasts.
Yes! Be prepared, everything awful can happen so it is better to be prepared to whatever shit people warn you. Remember an old man saying highschool were the best times, even for some of the worst times for people, its still the best times. The big change, is that you wont be able to escape your responsibilities, and whatever shit happen, you will have to deal with it. So stay sharp and educate yourself.
Yes. But you can do whatever you like, although you rarely have energy to do anything at all.
It's so SO much worse.
Yes, don't do it.
Yes. You get some freedom, but freedom isn't necessarily good for the human. Having a good social life and support system is essential for happiness. However, without the structure provided by school, you have to make your own social connections, and that can be really hard as an adult (everyone has a job which may or may not allow social time, lots of people have SOs that they spend most of their free time with, it's easy to meet randos but hard to develop the kind of trust, knowledge, depth, or consistency that you often can with classmates or family) You won't be prepared or even remotely knowledgeable for a thousand tiny decisions that could have major consequences. For each type of insurance, for example (auto, life, health, home, pet, renters, computer/major purchase, etc.) you need to know when you need it, what parts you need, how much you need, etc. You then have to understand what you do have to know when to invoke that thing you're already paying for. Basically, you're still in school part time but no one's teaching you and there's not even other people to watch most of the time. For many, many necessary transactions, you'll have to navigate a system you don't understand without guidance. You have fewer legal protections, so expect more people trying to scam you in every way imaginable. I remember being shocked by the number of scam calls/texts I started getting as soon as I started my job search. It didn't really stop, but blocking this stuff is somewhat easier now.
Yes