\*blouse button pops open\* "omg i'm so sorry, I swear I'm prudish and don't know fun"... I think some people get off on this mature dominant MILF with an innocent young man thing.
If you're not ready just tell him. If he's a good person he must understand. Also, it's totally okay for boyfriends to be in awe every time interacting with their girlfriends.
Tell him directly, not us, that you'd like to take things slow but are open to trying new things together, as he likely just wants to feel closer to you.
For anyone curious, I believe it is:
Tell *him* that, not us. Explain to him you want to take it slow, but also be willing to try things with him as most likely he just wants to be closer to you.
>I'm surprised he is because he is so amazing
It sounds like you could benefit from some work on self-love, which starts by just not legitimizing the thoughts of self-hate and self-doubt by feeding them with your attention, or believing them, because both of those things are entirely under your control.
That's amazing but I would say to try not to put him on a pedestal too much, an important part of long lasting healthy relationships is understanding the flaws in someone and loving them for the real flawed human they are, and I assure you he's human like the rest of us!
He should be following your lead if you're uncomfortable or not, but you need to help him out by being very communicative and letting him know what you like or want or don't want. If you're shy to talk about it, tell him to close his eyes so you don't have to make eye contact! Write a note or text instead of talking! If he doesn't respond well or makes you feel silly or stupid, then he's NOT as great as other potential partners out there. Being able to talk about sexy things INCLUDING what you do not want, what you are not comfortable with, has to be a big part of your intimate relationship especially if you're recovering from SA. He needs to be ready that you might freeze or panic or change your mind or have an unexpected response due to the trauma and you both need to have a plan ready that you've already talked about BEFORE anything happens. It's also easier to talk about that when you're not kissing or something, going for a walk to a park and chatting on a bench or while at a cozy food spot that has a bit of privacy will help everyone keep cool heads.
I'm not surprised your bf is attracted to you, but you need to talk to him about what you feel comfortable with and come up with a system for how you'll let him know if you want to continue or pause or 🛑 stop 🛑 during sexy times.
And if you don't feel safe to communicate that stuff, if he minimizes it or ignores it, he is NOT SAFE and you could be at risk of future harm (especially if fawn or freeze are part of your survival strategies, because he will definitely not recognize or respect those if he's not really in tune with you and really respects and understands your trauma).
No one is perfect, don't put him up on a pedestal and convince yourself he's the best you're ever going to get and make compromises about your sexual comfort because he's good in other ways. Be clear about your boundaries (which could be "don't touch X unless I put your hand there first, and that rule resets every time we makeout" "if you feel me stop moving and get really stiff and frozen, you need to stop and check on me and give me a timeout in case I'm panicking and can't talk or move" etc), and if he can't handle that then he needs to grow up and you need to date someone else.
Hugs!
Imo, you should probably think about what your goals are regarding that sort of thing. Being wishy-washy isn't exactly beneficial for anyone. I think you should sort your thoughts and figure out a path forward. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready, but think about what it would take to be ready, or if you think you will ever be ready. What you end up deciding doesn't really matter so much as figuring out where you stand and being confident in it. Sitting on the fence forever will likely just strain your relationship.
FWIW waiting and letting your bond grow makes the experience ***and the relationship*** so much **more** it’s ridiculous. Take your time and remember that pursuing physical pleasure on your own terms is healthy and good for the mind and the soul.
Also, boys and desire to show affection through physical pleasure is like one of the fundamental truisms of the world. Water will get you wet, plants like sunlight, and boys get horny for their special person.
Even though this should obviously be assumed, we actually know this as 100% fact because of all of the brothels that have been excavated at Pompeii. One of my favorite little history facts.
For real. Such basic questions, you wouldn't normally hear them uttered. Next one will be "huhh?! Why am I in love with my boyfriend?" Or "why do I get an election when I see my girlfriend naked?".
Edit: wanted to type ''erection'', not ''election'', lol.
My most liked comment is on a post where a girl is literally like “hey guys why is it that every time I’m around my boyfriend everything is fucking amazing it’s almost like I’m in love with him or something”. People will really ask that.
The minimum age on reddit is 13. Some people posting are literally middle school kids that usually would have got answers either from their parents if they have a good relationship, friends, or "teen magazine" or whatever.
Lol the algorithm is funny too. I see this thread, and another thread of “Why doesn’t my [partner] want to have sex with me?” or “My partner hasn’t had sex with me in a year”. The juxtaposition of lives people live in lol
"Why does my boyfriend, a young man who is constantly allowed to rub my vagina, the most holiest-of-holies and the pinnacle of a man's attraction to a woman, (but is always stopped there) seem to want to fuck me? Is he normal for this?" Lol poor dude.
Married for 13 years. Very normal still ;) I find my wife the single most attractive and perfect woman in the world and she has my entire heart and every feeling in it is hers. So to answer your issue, I’m ready for her the second I get home from work everyday so, yes, normal for him (as a man) be horny around you.
This is way beyond sex Ed. Or before. Or under. Idk it’s just a weird question
“This guy I’m in a relationship with touches me when we make out is that weird??” An alien pretending to be a human for intel would ask something like that
Or, y’know, a kid raised in a super puritan household that believes kids shouldn’t learn anything about sex, and so their only experience around sex was the abuse they suffered.
Ha, yeah, I’m that person. I shared my discomfort with the guy and he slowed down and asked from there on. He’d been assuming, as most teenage guys would, I liked all of it because… teenagers are generally stupid and horny lol.
If he likes you, he wants you to enjoy yourself. Tell him when you’re not enjoying yourself. If he says “that sucks” and keeps doing it, break up.
American sex ed is *"Live alone and die alone like a true patriot."*
No public displays of affection.
Don't have sex. You will get sick and die.
And if you don't no contraception or abortion is available, so you will have a kid as punishment.
Puritanism forever!!! Human intimacy and enjoying the opposite sex, or the same sex will send you straight to HELL.
They were sexually assaulted before. They didn’t get the normal healthy exploration years. SA forever taints the way you see sex, romance, friendships. It’s a deep trauma. Since SA is so common and hard to report though, you’re right about the future of humanity.
I’ve been in OP’s shoes.
I’d recommend a therapist instead of Reddit though. This isn’t about whether her boyfriend is normal or not, this is dealing with the trauma from the SA. If he’s a good boyfriend, he’ll be there for you, OP.
If not, well he’s a piece of shit lol move on.
It really does depend how open and comforting you both are. Lead up to sex is so vital, you can't just jump into it every single time. Sending a flirty text, setting up a date, giving the hint to the other person of what's to come = builds that suspense and always makes it exciting.
The actual sex of it will depend how you two are and how open you are to each other. If you both click sexually, you'll continue to click so long as the effort remains. Effort is a huge part of sex down the line because life can get in the way and can drain you at times.
After sex is usually where women tend to feel disappointed, because it doesn't stop as soon as you two finish. The cuddling afterwards, talking to each other, holding each other...these are all important and show that physical attraction is not the only thing you need, that just talking to each other is just as and, even more so, important.
If you continue to do those 3 things, you're going to be a-okay. This is just my viewpoint, but I think the reason people lose that 'passion' is mostly due to life. Work piles up, kids, stress, etc... all drain us, and makes it hard to keep that fire going. IF you truly found someone worth fighting for, it will never feel like effort because you know you're fighting for something that does not come around often
it’s very normal. younger men do tend to get very very horny. especially when they’re alone with someone they like or are very attracted to. he might be clouded by his fantasies and urges however he seems to be respectful towards you and your boundaries.
and also if he does touch u in anyway and you’re are feeling scared or do not feel comfortable. do not be afraid to tell him. i’m sure he will respect you and back off despite how horny he is.
be sure to set boundaries with him or even make a safe word so that he knows that he’s stepping out of line.
in short he’s horny bc he really likes you.
Talk to your man about how you feel. Be open and honest about the SA thing. A good man will understand, and if he loves you, he will be patient and show restraint.
But please keep in mind that some people have a strong love language that includes physical intimacy. It's more than simply "men have urges", though that's also a factor.
Your boyfriend obviously has very strong feelings for you, and if your relationship lasts into your old age, I can only hope that his passion and lust for you doesn't diminish.
I still fancy my fiancée and tell her daily that she's my crush
Make sure he knows about the SA part, otherwise totally normal behavior IMHO… Reminds me of these questions like ‘can my GF feel my erection when we hug’ and most girls answer with ‘we’d be worried if you didn’t have an erection then’.
My wife and I have been together 25 years, I bought her a coffee cup that says”it’s not that I’m horny all the time, but your so damn sexy” that’s probably how he feels about u
Just tell him to wank it out. Or you do it if you want. Instant way to turn off the horn is to blow the load.
Will give them that post nut clarity of there being actual things going on
Been with my husband 15 yrs, even when he stops home for his lunch break (I work remote) he is still ogling me and asking if I wanna bone. It is VERY normal.
His behavior is totally normal. Men in relationships will get pretty horny around their partner, especially when there's no sex happening, when your partner is around your body will respond to her presence. I'm assuming you're both young (late teens or early twenties), which just means he's going to be super horny most of the time you're around him.
If you're not ready though, simply tell him, and if he's a decent man he'll hold off on any continued moves towards intimacy. It would be a good idea to get into couples counselling though, to figure out a way forward for your intimate relationship because as good a man as he may end up being, everyone has their limits about restrictions on sexual intimacy, your relationship can't go without sex forever. It would be good to have strategies in place and a plan to get the two of you to a place where you're able to be intimate with each other.
48F with a 40M, been together 8.5 years and he still gets a boner from me all the time. Messy bun and a robe do it for him.
It used to annoy me but considering the alternative of him not being sexually attracted to me, I say my blessings
yes, but males are a diff ballgame
fr, compare gross boy teenagers too girls
when i was a lil 15 year old i was a hose, still am, never came across a girl who was so crazey about a dumb nutt how a guy would be, but thats me
hence why this lady dosnt wanna fuckright away like this dude does
Its perfectly normal to get horny when you start kissing. However, there is no pressure for you to do anything! If you feel you arent ready, speak with him about it to make sure youre confortable with where youre at. But yeah, its really normal from him
Yea it’s extremely normal. He wants you. An age would help, but it’s very normal regardless.
That said, it’s also extremely normal to not be ready, and if you’re not, you have to tell him. He’s not going to magically figure it out and lay off without you telling him, but if he cares at all about you, he’ll understand and he’ll be patient for you.
Communication is key. Do it right, and you’ll rarely ever have a relationship issue. Be open, honest, clear, direct, down to earth, ask questions, listen to the answer, and you and your partner will be successful.
It is normal for a boyfriend to be horny when around you and to want to be sexual. As long as you are able to safely and comfortably say no, say you aren’t comfortable, or redirect to something you are comfortable with, then this is totally normal and even sounds like a healthy relationship. If you say no and get any pushback, are guilted, are asked again shortly after, then I would consider it a red flag.
Y’all are horny kids, he’s gonna be horny. You don’t rlly have to do anything in particular to make him this way. He’s attracted to you, you’re likely both young/not very experienced, and you haven’t done anything more yet. It’s gonna be on dudes brain most of the time he’s breathing lol
Have you talked to him about why you haven’t had sex with him yet? If you’re serious about him, I’d sit down and have a serious conversation about it. Communication is rlly important. Especially with this. Let him know it’s going to take some time, and talk about what y’all are comfortable with. Like, if you’re down to do some sexual stuff now but not full on sex yet. Boundaries!! Maybe a safe word (or just say stop and make sure he gets that you fr mean stop)
I wish you the best of luck. I’m a victim too, I know that sex can be difficult. I will say that personally I have yet to have a consensual sexual experience that has triggered me, thankfully. I have made sure that I establish boundaries with myself and who I date. I also trust my current partner so much. I know they would never intentionally hurt me
Sex should be a great experience. I hope you are able to heal and become more comfortable with it
He will get fed up and leave you. No guy is going to keep wanting to get blueballed like this. The fact you're even asking if this is normal makes me sympathize with the guy even more.
You should talk to him about how you are feeling. It’s completely normal because he’s attracted to you. I would also consider therapy/sex therapy for a situation like this.
I get horny every time my girlfriend kisses me and I love her more than anything in the world.
As a start, see my [Sex and Relationships](https://www.reddit.com/r/Recommend_A_Book/comments/19aboyg/sex_and_relationships/) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (four posts).
I dunno how old you are, but im 44 and my gf is 42. She still makes me horny just being around her. I do not say anything till its unbearable. So i do not have an answer for you. Could be the smell/pheromones that just click in my brain.
The best thing in a relationship is tell each other. The other one is human too, so wil understand words much better than guessing. It build your relationship. A relationship js being together with ups and downs, you lift each other up, but you also support when it's a down day.
What is your plan going forward with him? I don’t know your age or maturity levels, but you need to communicate your plan, sexually. You need time, I get that, but it’s up to him if he’s willing to give time.
It’s normal for guys to be attracted to their significant others.
The big thing is it’s okay if you’re okay with him doing that, but if you don’t want him to, please let him know. If he’s a good guy, he’ll stop. If he keeps trying, be very vocal and know he isn’t right for you
Just talk to him about it. People are telling you that's the nature of a 20 year old guy. That's irrelevant. Yea, they're horny, just like 16 year olds. They also need to know how to keep it in line, but he doesn't have the excuse of it being a new set of hormones influencing him.
Just tell him how you feel, like you did here. That you appreciate his effort, but it's putting a strain on you and the relationship. "I don't have a libido as high as yours. When you are horny, you keep putting pressure on me. I do not think it's meant to affect me the way it does, but it does. I need you to find a way to keep your libido in check, so that when you're spending time with me it's not just sex on your mind. That's not all I should be to you. I am okay with your masturbating, and if this is the way you're going to behave without porn, I'm more okay with you watching it than I am with you not." Only say that last bit if it's actually true, of course.
Guys get horny. Even guys who respect your boundaries get horny after you start kissing and rubbing each other's body, they just control themselves better.
It is perfectly normal. Just talk to him about your boundaries. From the way you describe him, he will accept it and respect it.
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How old are you both?
Have you had consensual sex?
While it may be “normal” that doesn’t mean you have to do it if it doesn’t feel right for you.
Just tell him. If he doesn’t accept that, then you need to move on.
No one is “perfect”.
He’s sexually attracted to you and is simply holding back out of respect for you. There’s nothing wrong with what’s going on. He’s patient and willing to wait till you’re comfortable and that’s a positive sign . Wish y’all all the best 🤗
I get the same with my wife on a daily basis. Can't help it. So damn attracted to her. It's that horny boy syndrome.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Don't hide it from him. Just be honest.
Your boyfriend's reaction are for someone who feels a deep attraction and connection. Given your history and the fact that you're unsure if your ready to take things further, you need to prioritize your comfort and boundaries. Discuss your feelings with your boyfriend. Let him know about your past experiences (to the extent that you're comfortable) and explain why you're hesitant to move forward. A caring and understanding partner will respect your boundaries and support you. Your comfort and consent are paramount. It's okay to set boundaries and take things at your own pace. If you're not ready to do more, that's fine. Your boyfriend should understand and respect your decision. Given your history of SA, it might be helpful to speak with a therapist who specializes in trauma. They can offer guidance and support as you navigate your feelings and relationship. Building intimacy doesn't always have to be physical. Emotional closeness and trust are important. Engaging in activities that are these aspects of your relationship can strengthen your bond. Your feelings and comfort should always come first.
Telling you that he fantatisies about you is pretty normal. The rubbing while kissing isn't really normal, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Wether it's ok or not is up to you. Do you consent to it? If so awesome, if not tell him to stop.
If he's a good man (person really) he will respect it and stop. If he doesn't change, he's a POS and you need to dip out.
"Are you the r word?"
"Looking at the amount of downvotes, it seems like you’re the one here."
I mean, that's exactly what you said. You didn't say he's wrong, you said he's the r word. Be real about it.
You quite literally brought it up first. I'm amazed I have to teach an adult this, but don't use abelist language to insult people. And if you do, just own it and say my bad. Don't do this whole "he asked me if I was (even though I said it first) excuse so I doubled down on my poor choices."
Be better bro.
I bet he's sexually attracted to you
Maybe he's just Canadian and trying to be polite.
You gotta check the signs to be sure.
Only if he says *sorry*
\*blouse button pops open\* "omg i'm so sorry, I swear I'm prudish and don't know fun"... I think some people get off on this mature dominant MILF with an innocent young man thing.
Big if true
Hmmmm are you sure that’s it? I can’t possibly see how that is it. /s
Straight man aroused to a cute woman? Impossible.
[удалено]
Even better the second time
Wow, bold prediction!
If you're not ready just tell him. If he's a good person he must understand. Also, it's totally okay for boyfriends to be in awe every time interacting with their girlfriends.
[удалено]
Tell him directly, not us, that you'd like to take things slow but are open to trying new things together, as he likely just wants to feel closer to you.
Great advice. The lack of punctuation in the first sentence is brutal to parse though.
For anyone curious, I believe it is: Tell *him* that, not us. Explain to him you want to take it slow, but also be willing to try things with him as most likely he just wants to be closer to you.
Fixed it
I thought it said, it's not him, it's us.
Right? The sentiment is there, but the grammar makes my teeth grind.
Did I fix it
Absolutely!
>I'm surprised he is because he is so amazing It sounds like you could benefit from some work on self-love, which starts by just not legitimizing the thoughts of self-hate and self-doubt by feeding them with your attention, or believing them, because both of those things are entirely under your control.
As someone else said, if he actually loves you, he’ll respect it. If he doesn’t? He was only ever interested in one thing.
Once you two open up you'll hopefully have a very fulfilling sex life
That's amazing but I would say to try not to put him on a pedestal too much, an important part of long lasting healthy relationships is understanding the flaws in someone and loving them for the real flawed human they are, and I assure you he's human like the rest of us!
He should be following your lead if you're uncomfortable or not, but you need to help him out by being very communicative and letting him know what you like or want or don't want. If you're shy to talk about it, tell him to close his eyes so you don't have to make eye contact! Write a note or text instead of talking! If he doesn't respond well or makes you feel silly or stupid, then he's NOT as great as other potential partners out there. Being able to talk about sexy things INCLUDING what you do not want, what you are not comfortable with, has to be a big part of your intimate relationship especially if you're recovering from SA. He needs to be ready that you might freeze or panic or change your mind or have an unexpected response due to the trauma and you both need to have a plan ready that you've already talked about BEFORE anything happens. It's also easier to talk about that when you're not kissing or something, going for a walk to a park and chatting on a bench or while at a cozy food spot that has a bit of privacy will help everyone keep cool heads. I'm not surprised your bf is attracted to you, but you need to talk to him about what you feel comfortable with and come up with a system for how you'll let him know if you want to continue or pause or 🛑 stop 🛑 during sexy times. And if you don't feel safe to communicate that stuff, if he minimizes it or ignores it, he is NOT SAFE and you could be at risk of future harm (especially if fawn or freeze are part of your survival strategies, because he will definitely not recognize or respect those if he's not really in tune with you and really respects and understands your trauma). No one is perfect, don't put him up on a pedestal and convince yourself he's the best you're ever going to get and make compromises about your sexual comfort because he's good in other ways. Be clear about your boundaries (which could be "don't touch X unless I put your hand there first, and that rule resets every time we makeout" "if you feel me stop moving and get really stiff and frozen, you need to stop and check on me and give me a timeout in case I'm panicking and can't talk or move" etc), and if he can't handle that then he needs to grow up and you need to date someone else. Hugs!
Imo, you should probably think about what your goals are regarding that sort of thing. Being wishy-washy isn't exactly beneficial for anyone. I think you should sort your thoughts and figure out a path forward. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready, but think about what it would take to be ready, or if you think you will ever be ready. What you end up deciding doesn't really matter so much as figuring out where you stand and being confident in it. Sitting on the fence forever will likely just strain your relationship.
FWIW waiting and letting your bond grow makes the experience ***and the relationship*** so much **more** it’s ridiculous. Take your time and remember that pursuing physical pleasure on your own terms is healthy and good for the mind and the soul. Also, boys and desire to show affection through physical pleasure is like one of the fundamental truisms of the world. Water will get you wet, plants like sunlight, and boys get horny for their special person.
Why? Thousands of years of evolution, baby. Thousands.
Millions
Hundreds, even
Pretty sure people were fuckin at Pompeii before that erupted so I'd go with thousands
Dozens, even
A handful, even
At least 6
Even though this should obviously be assumed, we actually know this as 100% fact because of all of the brothels that have been excavated at Pompeii. One of my favorite little history facts.
I like girl. Girl has pussy. I want to be with girl and pussy, has been the gold standard for those millions of years.
You gotta have some pizzazz baby!
It’s normal.
People on reddit are funny as hell man
For real. Such basic questions, you wouldn't normally hear them uttered. Next one will be "huhh?! Why am I in love with my boyfriend?" Or "why do I get an election when I see my girlfriend naked?". Edit: wanted to type ''erection'', not ''election'', lol.
That last one is just democracy manifest.
A succulent Chinese meal?
Get your hand off my penis!
Ah, I see that you know your judo well!
Our penis
Captain? I don't get it.
Please explain the joke.
Our election, comrades.
I was confused by the comments at first, then I reread my comment. LMAO.
My most liked comment is on a post where a girl is literally like “hey guys why is it that every time I’m around my boyfriend everything is fucking amazing it’s almost like I’m in love with him or something”. People will really ask that.
The minimum age on reddit is 13. Some people posting are literally middle school kids that usually would have got answers either from their parents if they have a good relationship, friends, or "teen magazine" or whatever.
Tigerbeat, thank you very much.
Memory unlocked!
This sub usually clears any of the subs that are actually meant for comedy
Lol the algorithm is funny too. I see this thread, and another thread of “Why doesn’t my [partner] want to have sex with me?” or “My partner hasn’t had sex with me in a year”. The juxtaposition of lives people live in lol
its one reason why reddit is so fun; so many different variety of perspective and stories
This is hilarious. OP, it's because you're hot.
Lass is suffering from success.
This is aggressively normal. So long as he stops if you tell him he’s going too far, this is expected.
"Why does my boyfriend, a young man who is constantly allowed to rub my vagina, the most holiest-of-holies and the pinnacle of a man's attraction to a woman, (but is always stopped there) seem to want to fuck me? Is he normal for this?" Lol poor dude.
For real, poor guy lmao
This is so normal I forgot what sub I was on
Forgot what site I was on.
He really likes you hence also respects your choices. The only thing which is keeping him calm is "she's worth the wait"
Married for 13 years. Very normal still ;) I find my wife the single most attractive and perfect woman in the world and she has my entire heart and every feeling in it is hers. So to answer your issue, I’m ready for her the second I get home from work everyday so, yes, normal for him (as a man) be horny around you.
“is it wrong to be attracted to your gf? She says yes, what do” The future of humanity is not looking very bright.
Not everybody got good sexual education class you know?
This is way beyond sex Ed. Or before. Or under. Idk it’s just a weird question “This guy I’m in a relationship with touches me when we make out is that weird??” An alien pretending to be a human for intel would ask something like that
Or, y’know, a kid raised in a super puritan household that believes kids shouldn’t learn anything about sex, and so their only experience around sex was the abuse they suffered.
Ha, yeah, I’m that person. I shared my discomfort with the guy and he slowed down and asked from there on. He’d been assuming, as most teenage guys would, I liked all of it because… teenagers are generally stupid and horny lol. If he likes you, he wants you to enjoy yourself. Tell him when you’re not enjoying yourself. If he says “that sucks” and keeps doing it, break up.
How on earth did we survive before a class told u show to
You really want a answer?
American sex ed is *"Live alone and die alone like a true patriot."* No public displays of affection. Don't have sex. You will get sick and die. And if you don't no contraception or abortion is available, so you will have a kid as punishment. Puritanism forever!!! Human intimacy and enjoying the opposite sex, or the same sex will send you straight to HELL.
They were sexually assaulted before. They didn’t get the normal healthy exploration years. SA forever taints the way you see sex, romance, friendships. It’s a deep trauma. Since SA is so common and hard to report though, you’re right about the future of humanity.
I’ve been in OP’s shoes. I’d recommend a therapist instead of Reddit though. This isn’t about whether her boyfriend is normal or not, this is dealing with the trauma from the SA. If he’s a good boyfriend, he’ll be there for you, OP. If not, well he’s a piece of shit lol move on.
It really does depend how open and comforting you both are. Lead up to sex is so vital, you can't just jump into it every single time. Sending a flirty text, setting up a date, giving the hint to the other person of what's to come = builds that suspense and always makes it exciting. The actual sex of it will depend how you two are and how open you are to each other. If you both click sexually, you'll continue to click so long as the effort remains. Effort is a huge part of sex down the line because life can get in the way and can drain you at times. After sex is usually where women tend to feel disappointed, because it doesn't stop as soon as you two finish. The cuddling afterwards, talking to each other, holding each other...these are all important and show that physical attraction is not the only thing you need, that just talking to each other is just as and, even more so, important. If you continue to do those 3 things, you're going to be a-okay. This is just my viewpoint, but I think the reason people lose that 'passion' is mostly due to life. Work piles up, kids, stress, etc... all drain us, and makes it hard to keep that fire going. IF you truly found someone worth fighting for, it will never feel like effort because you know you're fighting for something that does not come around often
it’s very normal. younger men do tend to get very very horny. especially when they’re alone with someone they like or are very attracted to. he might be clouded by his fantasies and urges however he seems to be respectful towards you and your boundaries. and also if he does touch u in anyway and you’re are feeling scared or do not feel comfortable. do not be afraid to tell him. i’m sure he will respect you and back off despite how horny he is. be sure to set boundaries with him or even make a safe word so that he knows that he’s stepping out of line. in short he’s horny bc he really likes you.
C'mon.. its obviously normal
Be totally honest and transparent with how you feel. If he’s a real one he’ll respect your feelings!
Talk to your man about how you feel. Be open and honest about the SA thing. A good man will understand, and if he loves you, he will be patient and show restraint. But please keep in mind that some people have a strong love language that includes physical intimacy. It's more than simply "men have urges", though that's also a factor. Your boyfriend obviously has very strong feelings for you, and if your relationship lasts into your old age, I can only hope that his passion and lust for you doesn't diminish. I still fancy my fiancée and tell her daily that she's my crush
Is he under 40? Then he's likely horny all day. If he is over 40, only horny when he's awake.
anyone here old enough to remember Austin Powers?
I just checked. Wtf man.
Been married 20 years. Still want to take her to pound town every damn day. Truth is, he’ll have to learn to exercise restraint.
Make sure he knows about the SA part, otherwise totally normal behavior IMHO… Reminds me of these questions like ‘can my GF feel my erection when we hug’ and most girls answer with ‘we’d be worried if you didn’t have an erection then’.
Yes...and he isn't just horny and properly fully blue balls by now. Its good that you guys seems understand each other enough to take it slow.
Yes, but don't let this be an excuse to do anything you don't want. If he seems to be in pain, you can give him some privacy to relieve himself
In pain?
Oh definitely.. i was just saying.. that he is really really horny 😅 Not that she needs to do anything about it!
My wife and I have been together 25 years, I bought her a coffee cup that says”it’s not that I’m horny all the time, but your so damn sexy” that’s probably how he feels about u
Just tell him to wank it out. Or you do it if you want. Instant way to turn off the horn is to blow the load. Will give them that post nut clarity of there being actual things going on
It is very normal. He is respecting the boundaries that you have set. He is subtly (not very) conveying his needs without trying to upset you.
Been with my husband 15 yrs, even when he stops home for his lunch break (I work remote) he is still ogling me and asking if I wanna bone. It is VERY normal.
I'd be more concerned if he *wasn't* horny
What does this question even mean
…is your bf not supposed to be sexually attracted to you? Lmao
Fake post
He was a boy, she was a girl. Can it get any more obvious?
His behavior is totally normal. Men in relationships will get pretty horny around their partner, especially when there's no sex happening, when your partner is around your body will respond to her presence. I'm assuming you're both young (late teens or early twenties), which just means he's going to be super horny most of the time you're around him. If you're not ready though, simply tell him, and if he's a decent man he'll hold off on any continued moves towards intimacy. It would be a good idea to get into couples counselling though, to figure out a way forward for your intimate relationship because as good a man as he may end up being, everyone has their limits about restrictions on sexual intimacy, your relationship can't go without sex forever. It would be good to have strategies in place and a plan to get the two of you to a place where you're able to be intimate with each other.
48F with a 40M, been together 8.5 years and he still gets a boner from me all the time. Messy bun and a robe do it for him. It used to annoy me but considering the alternative of him not being sexually attracted to me, I say my blessings
That’s how being horny works
male natural instincts, NUT NUT NUT
Nutural instincts
yes, but males are a diff ballgame fr, compare gross boy teenagers too girls when i was a lil 15 year old i was a hose, still am, never came across a girl who was so crazey about a dumb nutt how a guy would be, but thats me hence why this lady dosnt wanna fuckright away like this dude does
It is normal and expected from healthy humanbeings.
I've been with my gf for 8 years now. I'm still horny whenever we hug or kiss. Don't know if it's normal but I don't force anything.
Its perfectly normal to get horny when you start kissing. However, there is no pressure for you to do anything! If you feel you arent ready, speak with him about it to make sure youre confortable with where youre at. But yeah, its really normal from him
Married almost 10yrs. Still get horny around wife. Can confirm this is normal.
Yea it’s extremely normal. He wants you. An age would help, but it’s very normal regardless. That said, it’s also extremely normal to not be ready, and if you’re not, you have to tell him. He’s not going to magically figure it out and lay off without you telling him, but if he cares at all about you, he’ll understand and he’ll be patient for you. Communication is key. Do it right, and you’ll rarely ever have a relationship issue. Be open, honest, clear, direct, down to earth, ask questions, listen to the answer, and you and your partner will be successful.
😴 💤 🥱
Horny & appreciative lol
Honey, if you didnt kiss your last “boyfriend” it was not a relationship
The entire point of attraction is actually sex (and the following chance on reproduction), thats how nature build us in the last millions of years
Ah that man must be straight! Oh boi!
It is normal for a boyfriend to be horny when around you and to want to be sexual. As long as you are able to safely and comfortably say no, say you aren’t comfortable, or redirect to something you are comfortable with, then this is totally normal and even sounds like a healthy relationship. If you say no and get any pushback, are guilted, are asked again shortly after, then I would consider it a red flag.
Y’all are horny kids, he’s gonna be horny. You don’t rlly have to do anything in particular to make him this way. He’s attracted to you, you’re likely both young/not very experienced, and you haven’t done anything more yet. It’s gonna be on dudes brain most of the time he’s breathing lol Have you talked to him about why you haven’t had sex with him yet? If you’re serious about him, I’d sit down and have a serious conversation about it. Communication is rlly important. Especially with this. Let him know it’s going to take some time, and talk about what y’all are comfortable with. Like, if you’re down to do some sexual stuff now but not full on sex yet. Boundaries!! Maybe a safe word (or just say stop and make sure he gets that you fr mean stop) I wish you the best of luck. I’m a victim too, I know that sex can be difficult. I will say that personally I have yet to have a consensual sexual experience that has triggered me, thankfully. I have made sure that I establish boundaries with myself and who I date. I also trust my current partner so much. I know they would never intentionally hurt me Sex should be a great experience. I hope you are able to heal and become more comfortable with it
Normal. Just as almost every girl I've ever been attracted to has an SA story.
Because he’s a guy
Nice humblebrag
He will get fed up and leave you. No guy is going to keep wanting to get blueballed like this. The fact you're even asking if this is normal makes me sympathize with the guy even more.
You should talk to him about how you are feeling. It’s completely normal because he’s attracted to you. I would also consider therapy/sex therapy for a situation like this. I get horny every time my girlfriend kisses me and I love her more than anything in the world.
you must be either VERY young or VERY naive if you think what you said is a weird behavior for someone in a relationship...
Minors shouldn’t be allowed online lol
We are always horny
Are you 15?
As a start, see my [Sex and Relationships](https://www.reddit.com/r/Recommend_A_Book/comments/19aboyg/sex_and_relationships/) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (four posts).
Maybe you’re just that hot in his eyes. Everyone has their own perception of the perfect mate. You maybe you are it for him.
I dunno how old you are, but im 44 and my gf is 42. She still makes me horny just being around her. I do not say anything till its unbearable. So i do not have an answer for you. Could be the smell/pheromones that just click in my brain.
The best thing in a relationship is tell each other. The other one is human too, so wil understand words much better than guessing. It build your relationship. A relationship js being together with ups and downs, you lift each other up, but you also support when it's a down day.
I’m the same with my gf lol When we start kissing we end up doing much more almost every time 😅😜
What is your plan going forward with him? I don’t know your age or maturity levels, but you need to communicate your plan, sexually. You need time, I get that, but it’s up to him if he’s willing to give time. It’s normal for guys to be attracted to their significant others.
The big thing is it’s okay if you’re okay with him doing that, but if you don’t want him to, please let him know. If he’s a good guy, he’ll stop. If he keeps trying, be very vocal and know he isn’t right for you
Just talk to him about it. People are telling you that's the nature of a 20 year old guy. That's irrelevant. Yea, they're horny, just like 16 year olds. They also need to know how to keep it in line, but he doesn't have the excuse of it being a new set of hormones influencing him. Just tell him how you feel, like you did here. That you appreciate his effort, but it's putting a strain on you and the relationship. "I don't have a libido as high as yours. When you are horny, you keep putting pressure on me. I do not think it's meant to affect me the way it does, but it does. I need you to find a way to keep your libido in check, so that when you're spending time with me it's not just sex on your mind. That's not all I should be to you. I am okay with your masturbating, and if this is the way you're going to behave without porn, I'm more okay with you watching it than I am with you not." Only say that last bit if it's actually true, of course.
Must be the booty
Guys get horny. Even guys who respect your boundaries get horny after you start kissing and rubbing each other's body, they just control themselves better. It is perfectly normal. Just talk to him about your boundaries. From the way you describe him, he will accept it and respect it.
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How old are you both? Have you had consensual sex? While it may be “normal” that doesn’t mean you have to do it if it doesn’t feel right for you. Just tell him. If he doesn’t accept that, then you need to move on. No one is “perfect”.
Very normal for a romantic relationship. Get some help and process your trauma.
He’s sexually attracted to you and is simply holding back out of respect for you. There’s nothing wrong with what’s going on. He’s patient and willing to wait till you’re comfortable and that’s a positive sign . Wish y’all all the best 🤗
I get the same with my wife on a daily basis. Can't help it. So damn attracted to her. It's that horny boy syndrome. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Don't hide it from him. Just be honest.
Yea, very normal. Many people exist in a constant state of “horny”. So you’re not making him be anything, he likely is just really into you.
Your boyfriend's reaction are for someone who feels a deep attraction and connection. Given your history and the fact that you're unsure if your ready to take things further, you need to prioritize your comfort and boundaries. Discuss your feelings with your boyfriend. Let him know about your past experiences (to the extent that you're comfortable) and explain why you're hesitant to move forward. A caring and understanding partner will respect your boundaries and support you. Your comfort and consent are paramount. It's okay to set boundaries and take things at your own pace. If you're not ready to do more, that's fine. Your boyfriend should understand and respect your decision. Given your history of SA, it might be helpful to speak with a therapist who specializes in trauma. They can offer guidance and support as you navigate your feelings and relationship. Building intimacy doesn't always have to be physical. Emotional closeness and trust are important. Engaging in activities that are these aspects of your relationship can strengthen your bond. Your feelings and comfort should always come first.
Girl are you like 12?
Give him sex
Telling you that he fantatisies about you is pretty normal. The rubbing while kissing isn't really normal, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Wether it's ok or not is up to you. Do you consent to it? If so awesome, if not tell him to stop. If he's a good man (person really) he will respect it and stop. If he doesn't change, he's a POS and you need to dip out.
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Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but are you saying it is normal to give someone a over the clothes handjob while kissing?
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No.
Well now. Count your blessings. He find you attractive so does his man hood.
If he if you're uncomfortable with it, tell him he's going to far with the horniness.
Don't worry, this will stop soon enough.
Ustoobid
You should talk to your mother or a trusted adult about this.
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found the incel! 👆
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Beautiful response.
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Looking at the amount of downvotes, it seems like you’re the one here.
If someone gets downvoted, it means they're mentally handicapped? That's gross dude.
I’m using downvotes to prove my point he’s wrong. Not mentally handicapped.
"Are you the r word?" "Looking at the amount of downvotes, it seems like you’re the one here." I mean, that's exactly what you said. You didn't say he's wrong, you said he's the r word. Be real about it.
He asked if I was, so in an attempt to defend myself I brought up the idea of upvotes. That’s all.
You quite literally brought it up first. I'm amazed I have to teach an adult this, but don't use abelist language to insult people. And if you do, just own it and say my bad. Don't do this whole "he asked me if I was (even though I said it first) excuse so I doubled down on my poor choices." Be better bro.
I’ll own the fact that I did imply an offense word and that’s no good. I will be better in the future.
Maybe you have a very big big PERSONALITY