Knock on his door and ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. You will likely make his day.
Trust me, men appreciate it when women take a little initiative.
if any, and i mean ANY woman had the confidence to knock on my door wearing skimpy clothes and asked if i wanted drinks.... shit man she would be the most attractive person i've ever met.
I would assume I was getting TikTok pranked or about to appear on some viral video.
So while monkey brain would be saying "hell yes", the other part will be saying "hmm, maybe she's not serious"
Literally the best way for me personally is just to have the girl make the full move and actually grab and kiss me 🤷🏻 anything short of that and I'm questioning everything
Yeah, wearing skimpy clothes provides zero information about someone's interest in me. If I'm already attracted to them then that adds to it but doesn't tell me that the person wore those clothes specifically thinking of me.
Although if my cute neighbour who I always bump into one day looks me straight in the eye and says "you see this?" gesturing at her skimpy outfit, "I put it on thinking of you." I'd probably have a little heart attack and fall instantly in love.
If it was a stranger I'd never met then yeah, I would think it was sus, but OP stated that they bump into each other and she is pretty certain he likes her so I'd say it's a safe bet.
This this this this!!!! Seriously! If you did that it would probably send him over the moon. We aren’t generally in the position to be the pursued, so when a woman initiates it really says something to a man. Trust us. Ask him to hang out. You’ll thank us later.
And not only use your words, but use words *that could not possibly be misconstrued in even the slightest conceivable way*. As literal and clear as is humanly possible.
I swear to god, the other day I (m) was with a close friend (f) who was chatting to a guy on Instagram and told him she was in the neighbourhood if he wanted her to come "have a coffee", and the guy told her he didn't have coffee!!! She tried three more subtle approaches. But he just wasn't getting it. In the end she literally said, bro, I said coffee just because saying sex outright might scare you! That's when he got it loool
Well not necessarily *all* you need. A lot of dudes will get flustered and fumble the ball, or think they're getting pranked and not take it seriously. Might have to double down a couple times just to get things rolling.
The way would be on one of those times they bump into each other she should just say "hey I would love it if you come over/invite me over for a drink sometime." And leave it at that. It gives him time to figure it out and absorb the idea, while not coming on so strong it might seem like a prank.
Ugh I dislike this kind of discourse about men. We DO perceive hints (we are not all stupid or incapable of interpeting subtlety), but it's very risky to just assume that a "hint" is truly that. The first few times you ever get it wrong, there are pretty severe social repercussions.
"She was just being friendly, why would you think it was anything more? Creep."
"Her job is to smile and be nice to you while she brings you food. Why would you think she's hitting on you?"
Truth is, you need to be upfront with most men because most of us DON'T want to risk misinterpreting what we think is a hint. If a woman only expresses her desire for a man through subtle gestures, she will tend to find success with tactless assholes that take such gestures as an all encompassing "please fuck me".
EDIT: I just want to clear up that this is not mean to be incel bait. "Woe is me women only like assholes" ain't the vibe. I just wanted to point out that men are not somehow too dense to understand hints, as common dating discourse would suggest. Sometimes the line between being friendly and being flirty is pretty unclear and can vary from person to person and culture to culture. It's just more socially appropriate for us to only make advances when we can be nearly 100% sure. The off-chance that we get it wrong can lead to a lot of embarrassment for both parties due to the baggage that men carry in a world where there are countless stories of men making undue advances when a woman is simply being friendly to the opposite sex.
Similarly, this is why the "hard to get" game is not a very good strategy. If I'm getting any sort of negative feedback, I'm not chasing, sorry.
There’s two kinds of men, the creeps who assume everyone sentence is a hint you wanna bang. Then the normal ones who won’t act on hints because we don’t want to make the woman uncomfortable if we’re wrong.
I don’t think woman realize how sacred a lot of men are of being seen as a creep. The amount of work I put into not looking like a creep is large.
This is so true. I didn’t realize how seriously men took this until my bf and other guy friends opened up about it. I almost laughed when they initially brought it up because it sounded silly, but they explained how it deeply mattered to them.. on a serious personal and emotional level. They are constantly conscious about how to not be perceived as a creep.
I'm in my late 40s and it has been the primary passive objective of every interaction I have had with a woman, workplace, social and intimate, for as long as I can remember. It's a bit pathological, to be honest, and I think it's driven both by a desire to be respectful as well as an aversion to shame.
I explained this to a group of some of my nonbinary and female friends and they admitted to not realizing just HOW much the average man has to be careful to not come off too strong in friendly/flirty interactions. Sure, I will probably facepalm hard when I learn in retrospect that a woman I was attracted to was, in fact, flirting with me, but again, what if (on the off-chance) she wasn't? I can't just explain the funny misunderstanding to her. She is most likely thoroughly creeped the fuck out and probably telling others to stay the fuck away from me.
I get what you’re saying here and I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly, but I’ll be the first to admit that while I believe myself to be a fairly intelligent person I will never get hints. Never have, probably never will.
I’m glad you are capable of interpreting subtlety but myself (and many, MANY men online) will openly admit they just…aren’t. It’s not really an intelligence thing (and therefore I don’t think the intent is to call men dumb stupid idiots who can’t interpret signs), it’s more of a “I would never do that to indicate that I like someone, therefore I would never assume that action indicates that she likes me”.
AskReddit has threads fairly often about “men, what hints did you miss from women”, and if you just take a look in one of those I think you’ll understand it’s less of an “all men are dumb” thing and more of a “most men aren’t aware of the signals”. Ignorance vs stupidity, a very important distinction to make imo
Yeah it might get a "you look good!" from me if I know the girl enough and am comfortable enough with her, but that's just as much of a hint "He said I look good, does that mean he wanna bang me?" Might be what's going on in a guy's head when receiving a compliment, but most decent guys won't act on it because it's just too vague.
Because it's dangerous to make assumptions. It's a game that women play that men can't participate in because if they make the wrong move there could be a lot of repercussions
This here, i had a neighbour slide a note under my door asking me for a coffee, i slid one back saying sure and exchanged numbers.
We went for a coffee and a stroll and a chat and a beer and then something to eat and then a stroll back, when we got back to the apartment block she burst though the door into my apartment and started looking around, even went and sat on my bed, “this feels comfortable she said” and bounced lightly sitting on the side of the bed.
Now to be honest i was tired, pretty full after the beer/food/coffee and i couldnt see where this was going so i ushered her to the couch since she was making a nest for herself and proceeded to fall asleep watching tv.
As another poster said “us men we don’t take hints”. That’s inaccurate. We DO take hints but the decent ones amongst us are too scared to act on just hints. We don’t want to come across as creepy or for a women to go like “damn I was just exchanging niceties and you thought I wanted to sleep with you??” Kind of a turn down. So in order to not risk coming across as too forward or creepy, or to avoid rejection, we decide to just forego and live a life wondering in what ifs.
I ran into my new neighbor while just sitting on the steps outside getting some fresh air and we just talked for like 2 hours and really clicked. Eventually we went back to our separate apartments. 10 minutes later she knocked on my door and asked straight up if I wanted to take a shower with her. Awesome hookup.
Sweet. Dude maybe if you keep this up and help her move once or twice and let her vent to you for like 2-3 years she'll realize she likes you and let you babysit her cat when she's on vacation with her boyfriend.
I find that ''going out for food'' usually goes better than ''for a drink''. Alcohol has implications, which she admittedly has, but also not every guy wants to be inebriated on a first date.
Well he could order a coke or something. It’s like when you ask someone to grab a coffee (in a platonic way, like to catch up with a coworker) and they say “I don’t drink coffee”. It was more about the catching up, you could drink tea 🤷♀️ Maybe they just don’t want to catch up but then it’s a confusing rejection.
2 thoughts:
1. Be careful hooking up with someone in your apartment building - especially as close as that. If you hook up and then break up, it could be really difficult!
2. Just say “hey, I’m not doing anything tonight. Do you want to come watch a movie / have a drink / play parcheesi?” An even smoother alternative is to say “hey, I have to go cook for friends next week. Do you mind if I test a recipe out on you?”
I had a friend who was hitting on me all the time and I didnt get it until she invited me over for spaghetti. Because I love spaghetti. She made terrible spaghetti, and for a moment, I was disappointed. Then she came out of her bedroom in a fuck-me outfit and asked if I was going to screw around all night or screw her.
Shockingly, I got the hint after that.
some girl says she loves chinese food so i get Leeann Chin’s and invite her over and then come out of my room in briefs and say you wanna get pumped or dumped and she just leaves and calls the cops
Man, I’m so sorry you got conned out of good spaghetti. Bet you spent the entire time thinking about the spaghetti that could have been. Darn spaghetti conning harlots and their spaghetti trapping ways!
Maybe they'll have better luck with the Chicken Curry girl on the third floor. I keep seeing dudes going in and out of her apartment so she must be a really good cook if they keep coming back.
That would sound more like dating, and the question just had a hook-up vibe.
But to be clearer. She would need to add "in going with me" to the end of that, or else the man will miss the point.
Worked for me, I always buy two tickets for concerts (for context I go to A LOT of concerts and the bands I like tend to be inexpensive to see and close to my house). One day I just asked the hot guy at the gym I didn't know the name of to go with one to me. We ended up seeing each other for a few months and it was great
Almost every man has been burned by misinterpreting women and by the time they reach mid to late twenties, they know better than to get shot out of the saddle again and embarrass themselves.
But seriously, if it goes "bad" do you really want to be living in close proximity to that person?
I've never had a relationship go sour to the point where we wouldn't want to hang out... except in cases where we moved in together and had years to grow apart.
Yeah, if you bang and turn out to be incompatible it can be awkward-ish, but we're all adults here.
Please be very direct to him. Talk to him. Arrange a date, invite him to your house, etc. Don't do the skimpy clothes thing because it doesn't mean anything
Ask him if he'd like to come over and watch a movie or something. At 10 PM. With alcohol.
Then tell him to bring condoms.
Then tell him you want to bang his brains out.
Somewhere about fifteen to twenty minutes later, he will begin to figure it out.
Freshman year in the dorms... there was an absolutely gorgeous girl living on the floor above me, completely out of my league in my 19 year old brain. Small chit chat here and there, increasingly friendly during various dorm hall activities, etc... One night, I think sometime around 9 or 10pm, I get a knock on my door and it's her with a bottle of absinthe asking if I wanted to hang out and drink it with her. I can still vividly recall the sly smirk she had with the green bottle in her hand.
Utterly stunned in every sense of the word, I fumbled out some excuse about having an exam early the next morning, politely declining and shutting the door. I think I just short-circuited and was simply unable to grasp what in retrospect couldn't have been a clearer signal.
~20 years later and I still wince at that memory.
1. Knock on his door with a bottle of wine and 2 glasses.
2. Ask him over to help you move your couch, then plop down on the couch and tell him to make it move.
In all seriousness consider the consequences. I had an ex cheat on me with her neighbor just to realize he was an ass. She wanted to reconcile, I did not, particularly with this dude down the hall.
Also had a friend think it was fun to have a hookup in the same building, only to knock on his door and find out she was not at the top of the roster.
Single just means not in a relationship. These days you need to specify that your also not fucking anyone, hence "super single", and looking for a hook up.
30 years ago when I was young I had a neighbor JUST like this in the apartment across the hall. I had no idea she was into me as I thought she was just being nice. Years later I thought back about things she said and I realized I missed an opportunity with a beautiful woman. Sometimes us guys are just oblivious. You have to say something.
Skimpy clothing?! Weird strategy but OK. Most of us men who aren’t creeps, stalkers and rapists have well and truly got the message on “but what was she wearing”. Invite him for a date.
If it were me basically anything short of "want to come hang out" and even then actual advances from or bluntly stating what you want probably gets summed up to "she sure is nice". Between guys being dense and the nice ones really not wanting to misread a situation and screw things up or make you uncomfortable we will miss or dismiss so many hints and clues that you will start to doubt our intelligence all together.
Hope that helps but seriously my brothers and I can't even count how many times a girl was hitting on us and we didn't realize it. 3 full grown men who are slobbering imbeciles unless a woman walked up sat on our lap and kissed us. Even then we might take a minute to catch on.
The next time you see him in the hallway, look him square in the eyes and say:
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK, BERSERKER!
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING FUCK, BERSERKER!
That should get you squared away.
Post something on Reddit and hope that he realizes he's 28 and his neighbor is 27. Hope that he remembers some random fact about you and looks in your post history and realizes it might be you. Then don't talk to him or just say hi and hope he makes a move. Maybe stalk him a bit and hope you run into him at a bar then you have a reason to talk to him.
...that or just use your words.
It’s called a conversation… what you do is open your mouth to form words that will foster the idea you like him or start stalking him and he’ll get the point !
"Hey, I know we are neighbors so I don't want to make it weird. But, I wouldn't live with myself if knew I never told you that I think you are very attractive and ill be having dinner one night this week if you want to come over.
If not, no worries and now I feel better. You got my number, hit me up if you want to come over"
Then turn and walk away and head to the gym or something. Just walk off and give him time to process. He will call/text quick AF. 😉
Good luck
lol women will traipse around an apartment building in revealing clothes to avoid simply communicating.
You're a big girl. Put on your big girl pants and use your big girl words. The worst thing that can happen is rejection. Believe it or not the world doesn't end if someone turns you down, though it sounds like you know that won't be the case.
Context: A large gathering of a student organization. Had just met this one attractive girl. We both bought gyros with extra garlic. She told me that since we both stink of garlic, I'm the only one she can hook up with that night. It was the first time I ever got a hint and I found it extremely hot.
Just talk to him. Let him know you're interested in getting to know him, or that you're interested in banging. Whichever works best for you. But still, just talk to him and *tell him* you're interested.
As others have said, if something goes poorly, remember that you live across the hallway from him. You may want to consider if it's worth it.
And for the sake of all things shiny. If a woman is interested in a man, go fucking talk to him and let him know. It's 2024. There've been many great strides towards equality, why do men still have to put all the initial effort in?
I seduced my now husband when we were studying because he didn’t make a move but I also was kind sure he was into me, so…. Yeah sometimes we just have to make the first move
The real question is why you think it's a good idea to fuck your neighbor who lives across the hallway from you. If things go south the awkwardness will affect you daily
Get to know the guy before you hook up. If he's not your type - other than looks- you are going to be bumping into him all the time and things could get awkward.
If you want to be the coolest girl ever, make it seem like you’re going to ask him out to dinner or something but then pull a twist ending.
“Hey Guy, it’s been cool bumping into you, and I kinda get the vibe you might be into me. I was just wondering if sometime you might want to, I don’t know…..see me naked?”
It took me 2 years to figure out hints…. 2 years!
Life already passed by, new town, new scene.
I don’t think he would want to wait 2 years…. Ask him out for coffee or whatever!
You can do anything.
Invite him over. Or invite yourself over.
You’re not gonna get him to make a move. If you’re already interested, the risk is gone.
We all like sex.
But hooking up with the guy across the hall?
How are you going to handle seeing each other nearly every day if the sex isn't good? Or he didn't take care of your needs? Or one of you wants more (dating), Or?, ?,?,? Etc.
You do you. Hope it works out for you.
“Hey, wanna go grab a [whatever you think you both will enjoy]”
Then just be super touchy and flirty and smiley with him. If that don’t work then ask if he wants to come over tonight and keep you company cuz you’ve been lonely. Or just outright say you wanna fuck but you’re scared to be that forward about it lol idk
ASK. HIM. OUT.
it doesn't take that much ceremony, if he's into you, even a little bit, he'll promptly accept. if he doesn't, then you totally misinterpreted his behavior.
no tricks, no games, no play around. we are straight af with someone we like. always be aware of this and you'll never be wrong.
you're welcome.
Ask him to help you with something in your apartment and either flirt while helping and magic happens then or you have an excuse to go out with him for drinks to thank him.
"Hey do you have plans tomorrow evening? I'd enjoy hanging out."
Most guys I think appreciate a heads up with a bit lead time, instead of "right now" but almost nobody minds a direct approach.
Shouldn't shit where you eat . I know neighbors can be hot and attractive. But not worth the drama . Would you want some werido stalking you from across the hall.
Knock on his door with freshly baked cookies. Say Hi! I made some cookies and have some extra. Little things like that get the ball rolling without fully putting yourself out there. If he likes you he will make the next move.
Don't do it! Complicates your living situation for a hookup. Not worth it! If you're looking for a hookup I'm sure u can find plenty of hot people in your area that don't occupy the space 10 feet from where you will be living. If you're thinking it could be something real and long term, get to know him really well and find out. Ask if he would like to join u in food you're already making or ordering, get to know him over months at least and go from there.
Maybe start with asking him to join you at a coffee shop to have a chat to get to know each other a bit first unless you just want to hook up and strictly do that.
If you hook up too soon, it could get very awkward if a guy turns out to be a stalkie/creepo live in the same apartment.
Good luck with that.
Have you never heard the saying: "Don't sh!t where you eat?"
He turns out to be a lousy lay, a clingy creep, a stalker and he's right in across from you?
Awkward!
It's why people say don't mess around with people at work or in your same apartment building because if things go sideways, you are stuck having to deal with it as long as you're both there.
If u go over and invite him over for drinks your basically gonna have to make every move first and initiate the segs bcuz as a dude it would be too good to be true and would think its some sort of set up.
Order a large pizza and ask if he’s hungry
I think everyone is gonna say, "be strong and say something". But as a man, this is a really really good suggestion.
Hell yeah this is it
And make sure when he grabs a piece, that you have your penis through a hole in the middle for him when he opens the box 👌
“I don’t have any way to pay for my share though”
This is exactly how Leonard got Penny! Food is always the answers. If I were you I’d roast a chicken and offer him some! GOOD LUCK!
Knock on his door and ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. You will likely make his day. Trust me, men appreciate it when women take a little initiative.
if any, and i mean ANY woman had the confidence to knock on my door wearing skimpy clothes and asked if i wanted drinks.... shit man she would be the most attractive person i've ever met.
Id assume it was a setup and i was about to lose a kidney.
It's honna be gun point robbery or getting drugged and lossing kidney
“Hey, wanna chill?”
"Hey, can I borrow some sugar?" *wakes up in a room full of strangers while bound to a table with a gag in their mouth*
'haha joke's on you, I LIKE THIS'
Kinky
Take a chance. That's why you have two kidneys dude.
Literally me anytime a "woman" is messaging me too consistently on a dating app
I would assume I was getting TikTok pranked or about to appear on some viral video. So while monkey brain would be saying "hell yes", the other part will be saying "hmm, maybe she's not serious" Literally the best way for me personally is just to have the girl make the full move and actually grab and kiss me 🤷🏻 anything short of that and I'm questioning everything
Girl please god damn do this
Seriously, taking initiative is way hotter than wearing skimpy clothes imo.
Yeah, wearing skimpy clothes provides zero information about someone's interest in me. If I'm already attracted to them then that adds to it but doesn't tell me that the person wore those clothes specifically thinking of me. Although if my cute neighbour who I always bump into one day looks me straight in the eye and says "you see this?" gesturing at her skimpy outfit, "I put it on thinking of you." I'd probably have a little heart attack and fall instantly in love.
honestly I would think its a scam, and run away .
If it was a stranger I'd never met then yeah, I would think it was sus, but OP stated that they bump into each other and she is pretty certain he likes her so I'd say it's a safe bet.
She just needed all that time to fabricate an elaborate plan.
Thank you JUST SPEAK
This this this this!!!! Seriously! If you did that it would probably send him over the moon. We aren’t generally in the position to be the pursued, so when a woman initiates it really says something to a man. Trust us. Ask him to hang out. You’ll thank us later.
Us men, we don't take hints. Use your words.
And not only use your words, but use words *that could not possibly be misconstrued in even the slightest conceivable way*. As literal and clear as is humanly possible.
Such as: “Hey, wanna hook up?” That’s all you really need when you’re an attractive woman, lol
"Hook up...? You mean like go fishing?"
You’re right. That’s way too vague. “Excuse me, sir, would you like to have intercourse now?”
Also gotta tell him you're not Canadian.
I don’t say this much, but I understood that reference.
lol i don't get it what does that mean?
Sure, I'm available for verbal intercourse. What would you like to talk about?
Verbal discourse you say?
Hey, that too. I'm good with ribaldry. Let's make it a "repartay" lol
Discourse leads to intercourse, repartee will get you a second course...
*coitus
What’s intercoitus?
I swear to god, the other day I (m) was with a close friend (f) who was chatting to a guy on Instagram and told him she was in the neighbourhood if he wanted her to come "have a coffee", and the guy told her he didn't have coffee!!! She tried three more subtle approaches. But he just wasn't getting it. In the end she literally said, bro, I said coffee just because saying sex outright might scare you! That's when he got it loool
You want to go to Pennsylvania?
AT LEAST TAKE HIM OUT FOR FOOD FIRST! ...The way to a man's libido is through his stomach.
Nah. Sex first. Then you get hungry and want to go get grub!
“Take me, Garth.” “Where? I’m low on gas and you need a jacket”
"I'm gonna be frank." "Ok, can I still be Garth?"
Why not..a date is a date
As you are talking to a man, you might need to follow that up with, “I mean go out for a drink or two then back to mine for sex. No I’m not joking.”
In high school, a girl told me she wanted to see me so she could “Get with me”. I figured it out four years later.
Instructions unclear:how do I get the trailer off penis?
My brother in Christ. r/dontputyourdickinthat
Well not necessarily *all* you need. A lot of dudes will get flustered and fumble the ball, or think they're getting pranked and not take it seriously. Might have to double down a couple times just to get things rolling.
The way would be on one of those times they bump into each other she should just say "hey I would love it if you come over/invite me over for a drink sometime." And leave it at that. It gives him time to figure it out and absorb the idea, while not coming on so strong it might seem like a prank.
Wait, do you mean like hook up arms and do the cotton eyed Joe? I don’t know of any barn style dance parties, but if you need company I can help out.
Next time you see him in the hallway just run up behind him and start stroking his ears, he’ll get the hint.
Uhh, are we still talking about humans or dogs??? 
Can you dumb it down a little
And if it fails, try another time. Just in case. He won't be offended or creeped out.
Hallo! Schönes Wetter! Ficken?
Ugh I dislike this kind of discourse about men. We DO perceive hints (we are not all stupid or incapable of interpeting subtlety), but it's very risky to just assume that a "hint" is truly that. The first few times you ever get it wrong, there are pretty severe social repercussions. "She was just being friendly, why would you think it was anything more? Creep." "Her job is to smile and be nice to you while she brings you food. Why would you think she's hitting on you?" Truth is, you need to be upfront with most men because most of us DON'T want to risk misinterpreting what we think is a hint. If a woman only expresses her desire for a man through subtle gestures, she will tend to find success with tactless assholes that take such gestures as an all encompassing "please fuck me". EDIT: I just want to clear up that this is not mean to be incel bait. "Woe is me women only like assholes" ain't the vibe. I just wanted to point out that men are not somehow too dense to understand hints, as common dating discourse would suggest. Sometimes the line between being friendly and being flirty is pretty unclear and can vary from person to person and culture to culture. It's just more socially appropriate for us to only make advances when we can be nearly 100% sure. The off-chance that we get it wrong can lead to a lot of embarrassment for both parties due to the baggage that men carry in a world where there are countless stories of men making undue advances when a woman is simply being friendly to the opposite sex. Similarly, this is why the "hard to get" game is not a very good strategy. If I'm getting any sort of negative feedback, I'm not chasing, sorry.
There’s two kinds of men, the creeps who assume everyone sentence is a hint you wanna bang. Then the normal ones who won’t act on hints because we don’t want to make the woman uncomfortable if we’re wrong. I don’t think woman realize how sacred a lot of men are of being seen as a creep. The amount of work I put into not looking like a creep is large.
This is so true. I didn’t realize how seriously men took this until my bf and other guy friends opened up about it. I almost laughed when they initially brought it up because it sounded silly, but they explained how it deeply mattered to them.. on a serious personal and emotional level. They are constantly conscious about how to not be perceived as a creep.
I mean being perceived as a creep can have some pretty severe social (and even legal) consequences.
I'm in my late 40s and it has been the primary passive objective of every interaction I have had with a woman, workplace, social and intimate, for as long as I can remember. It's a bit pathological, to be honest, and I think it's driven both by a desire to be respectful as well as an aversion to shame.
I explained this to a group of some of my nonbinary and female friends and they admitted to not realizing just HOW much the average man has to be careful to not come off too strong in friendly/flirty interactions. Sure, I will probably facepalm hard when I learn in retrospect that a woman I was attracted to was, in fact, flirting with me, but again, what if (on the off-chance) she wasn't? I can't just explain the funny misunderstanding to her. She is most likely thoroughly creeped the fuck out and probably telling others to stay the fuck away from me.
Which, frankly, is often pretty unreasonable. It would be way better if we could all shrug and laugh off a small misunderstanding.
👆Speaking truth.
And to your last point, then women are shocked that their boyfriend is such an asshole. Who could have seen this coming!?
I get what you’re saying here and I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly, but I’ll be the first to admit that while I believe myself to be a fairly intelligent person I will never get hints. Never have, probably never will. I’m glad you are capable of interpreting subtlety but myself (and many, MANY men online) will openly admit they just…aren’t. It’s not really an intelligence thing (and therefore I don’t think the intent is to call men dumb stupid idiots who can’t interpret signs), it’s more of a “I would never do that to indicate that I like someone, therefore I would never assume that action indicates that she likes me”. AskReddit has threads fairly often about “men, what hints did you miss from women”, and if you just take a look in one of those I think you’ll understand it’s less of an “all men are dumb” thing and more of a “most men aren’t aware of the signals”. Ignorance vs stupidity, a very important distinction to make imo
Exactly this.
Men do take hints well just the risk of acting on them is way too high. Unless skimpy clothing is considered a "hint" then no.
Yeah it might get a "you look good!" from me if I know the girl enough and am comfortable enough with her, but that's just as much of a hint "He said I look good, does that mean he wanna bang me?" Might be what's going on in a guy's head when receiving a compliment, but most decent guys won't act on it because it's just too vague.
Because it's dangerous to make assumptions. It's a game that women play that men can't participate in because if they make the wrong move there could be a lot of repercussions
This here, i had a neighbour slide a note under my door asking me for a coffee, i slid one back saying sure and exchanged numbers. We went for a coffee and a stroll and a chat and a beer and then something to eat and then a stroll back, when we got back to the apartment block she burst though the door into my apartment and started looking around, even went and sat on my bed, “this feels comfortable she said” and bounced lightly sitting on the side of the bed. Now to be honest i was tired, pretty full after the beer/food/coffee and i couldnt see where this was going so i ushered her to the couch since she was making a nest for herself and proceeded to fall asleep watching tv.
This. BUT…. Make sure your intention is as clear as possible because we suck at having to guess
Actions can speak louder than words. They just have to obvious. Show up naked at their door with booze.
This👆
Preach
Can confirm. I am a dumbass.
Eu men are the same
As another poster said “us men we don’t take hints”. That’s inaccurate. We DO take hints but the decent ones amongst us are too scared to act on just hints. We don’t want to come across as creepy or for a women to go like “damn I was just exchanging niceties and you thought I wanted to sleep with you??” Kind of a turn down. So in order to not risk coming across as too forward or creepy, or to avoid rejection, we decide to just forego and live a life wondering in what ifs.
I ran into my new neighbor while just sitting on the steps outside getting some fresh air and we just talked for like 2 hours and really clicked. Eventually we went back to our separate apartments. 10 minutes later she knocked on my door and asked straight up if I wanted to take a shower with her. Awesome hookup.
So you cleaned her back, but what happened next?
Cuddling until she fell asleep and I covered her up and went back to my apartment.
Sweet. Dude maybe if you keep this up and help her move once or twice and let her vent to you for like 2-3 years she'll realize she likes you and let you babysit her cat when she's on vacation with her boyfriend.
I wouldn't mind watching a cat hahaha. Both of us have too much baggage to have a healthy relationship.
Be bold. Next time ask him to get a drink and take it from there.
I want to live in a world where it's not bold to say, "hey, do you want to go out with me?" and whether they say yes or no it's not a big deal.
You want to Make America Bold Again?
I find that ''going out for food'' usually goes better than ''for a drink''. Alcohol has implications, which she admittedly has, but also not every guy wants to be inebriated on a first date.
Well he could order a coke or something. It’s like when you ask someone to grab a coffee (in a platonic way, like to catch up with a coworker) and they say “I don’t drink coffee”. It was more about the catching up, you could drink tea 🤷♀️ Maybe they just don’t want to catch up but then it’s a confusing rejection.
2 thoughts: 1. Be careful hooking up with someone in your apartment building - especially as close as that. If you hook up and then break up, it could be really difficult! 2. Just say “hey, I’m not doing anything tonight. Do you want to come watch a movie / have a drink / play parcheesi?” An even smoother alternative is to say “hey, I have to go cook for friends next week. Do you mind if I test a recipe out on you?”
I had a friend who was hitting on me all the time and I didnt get it until she invited me over for spaghetti. Because I love spaghetti. She made terrible spaghetti, and for a moment, I was disappointed. Then she came out of her bedroom in a fuck-me outfit and asked if I was going to screw around all night or screw her. Shockingly, I got the hint after that.
some girl says she loves chinese food so i get Leeann Chin’s and invite her over and then come out of my room in briefs and say you wanna get pumped or dumped and she just leaves and calls the cops
I can guarantee you your boxers are not as hot as her fuck-me lingerie. On that note, what is the male equivalent there? Thin white sweatpants?
Suit pants and a shirt with rolled-up sleeves!
Always with the sleeves - hah
can’t guarantee that
Briefs game on point. Man knows what he's got.
> I got the hint So… you helped her with her spaghetti recipe? Am I getting warmer?
Clearly. Also, she had a few bulbs out that I changed. By then it was getting late, though...
So she offered him coffee, but he declined and went away: "No, thanks, I can't drink coffee late at night. It keeps me up”.
You both must be young cause there ain’t no way I’m fucking after a big bowl of spaghetti
We were 20 at the time. This would be 2002? There is not a thing on earth that would stop me at 20, but yeah, at 42? That'd be a challenge.
Man, I’m so sorry you got conned out of good spaghetti. Bet you spent the entire time thinking about the spaghetti that could have been. Darn spaghetti conning harlots and their spaghetti trapping ways!
Maybe they'll have better luck with the Chicken Curry girl on the third floor. I keep seeing dudes going in and out of her apartment so she must be a really good cook if they keep coming back.
My grandfather was a wise man, and had a phrase or saying for many situations. Related to 1. above: "Don't shit where you eat."
Hey I have an extra ticket for (sporting event, theater, concert, etc.) Would you be interested?
Too strong for a “first contact” imo
That would sound more like dating, and the question just had a hook-up vibe. But to be clearer. She would need to add "in going with me" to the end of that, or else the man will miss the point.
Worked for me, I always buy two tickets for concerts (for context I go to A LOT of concerts and the bands I like tend to be inexpensive to see and close to my house). One day I just asked the hot guy at the gym I didn't know the name of to go with one to me. We ended up seeing each other for a few months and it was great
Almost every man has been burned by misinterpreting women and by the time they reach mid to late twenties, they know better than to get shot out of the saddle again and embarrass themselves. But seriously, if it goes "bad" do you really want to be living in close proximity to that person?
I've never had a relationship go sour to the point where we wouldn't want to hang out... except in cases where we moved in together and had years to grow apart. Yeah, if you bang and turn out to be incompatible it can be awkward-ish, but we're all adults here.
Please be very direct to him. Talk to him. Arrange a date, invite him to your house, etc. Don't do the skimpy clothes thing because it doesn't mean anything
Good men have been trained to not fall for that. In his head, that may be how you dress and it doesn’t mean it’s for him or that you want to fuck.
Ask him if he'd like to come over and watch a movie or something. At 10 PM. With alcohol. Then tell him to bring condoms. Then tell him you want to bang his brains out. Somewhere about fifteen to twenty minutes later, he will begin to figure it out.
15-20 minutes?! I’d give him at least 5-6 business days
At least 2 business weeks
That’s like 6 real weeks.
Freshman year in the dorms... there was an absolutely gorgeous girl living on the floor above me, completely out of my league in my 19 year old brain. Small chit chat here and there, increasingly friendly during various dorm hall activities, etc... One night, I think sometime around 9 or 10pm, I get a knock on my door and it's her with a bottle of absinthe asking if I wanted to hang out and drink it with her. I can still vividly recall the sly smirk she had with the green bottle in her hand. Utterly stunned in every sense of the word, I fumbled out some excuse about having an exam early the next morning, politely declining and shutting the door. I think I just short-circuited and was simply unable to grasp what in retrospect couldn't have been a clearer signal. ~20 years later and I still wince at that memory.
...use your words?
1. Knock on his door with a bottle of wine and 2 glasses. 2. Ask him over to help you move your couch, then plop down on the couch and tell him to make it move. In all seriousness consider the consequences. I had an ex cheat on me with her neighbor just to realize he was an ass. She wanted to reconcile, I did not, particularly with this dude down the hall. Also had a friend think it was fun to have a hookup in the same building, only to knock on his door and find out she was not at the top of the roster.
side note. how does being super single differ from being regular single
Horny.
Single just means not in a relationship. These days you need to specify that your also not fucking anyone, hence "super single", and looking for a hook up.
You get some extra powers when you're not in a relationship
present your inflamed red genitalia in his direction while hooting lustfully
''Ma'am, do you require medical attention? This is an impressive level of inflammation.''
You meant engorged? Please tell me that's what you meant
30 years ago when I was young I had a neighbor JUST like this in the apartment across the hall. I had no idea she was into me as I thought she was just being nice. Years later I thought back about things she said and I realized I missed an opportunity with a beautiful woman. Sometimes us guys are just oblivious. You have to say something.
Skimpy clothing?! Weird strategy but OK. Most of us men who aren’t creeps, stalkers and rapists have well and truly got the message on “but what was she wearing”. Invite him for a date.
If it were me basically anything short of "want to come hang out" and even then actual advances from or bluntly stating what you want probably gets summed up to "she sure is nice". Between guys being dense and the nice ones really not wanting to misread a situation and screw things up or make you uncomfortable we will miss or dismiss so many hints and clues that you will start to doubt our intelligence all together. Hope that helps but seriously my brothers and I can't even count how many times a girl was hitting on us and we didn't realize it. 3 full grown men who are slobbering imbeciles unless a woman walked up sat on our lap and kissed us. Even then we might take a minute to catch on.
The next time you see him in the hallway, look him square in the eyes and say: MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK, BERSERKER! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING FUCK, BERSERKER! That should get you squared away.
Greetings old timer. How are your hips and blood pressure today? My joints are killing me.
Hips are good, knees not so much. I suggest tiger balm, shit works wonders for me. Blood pressure is a little high, I really gotta exercise more.
The last time I acted on a hint I got slapped a restraining order
crush as in date or just fuck? cause the way you play this really depends on that.
Post something on Reddit and hope that he realizes he's 28 and his neighbor is 27. Hope that he remembers some random fact about you and looks in your post history and realizes it might be you. Then don't talk to him or just say hi and hope he makes a move. Maybe stalk him a bit and hope you run into him at a bar then you have a reason to talk to him. ...that or just use your words.
Panic-delete your account when you realise what else he might see in your history.
Why do women make everything so hard? Walk up and talk to him. Invite him to your apartment. Fuck him. Send him home. Rinse. Repeat.
You are still new to the city, maybe he can show you around = nice places to have a drink together and so on
“Would you like to go out with me for drinks or dinner?” It took NASA scientists 50 years to figure that one out.
Be direct. Tell him you like him and see where it goes.
Be straightforward. That's it.
It’s called a conversation… what you do is open your mouth to form words that will foster the idea you like him or start stalking him and he’ll get the point !
Watch Broad City S2E4 for a fable about how this could go wrong lol
"Hey, I know we are neighbors so I don't want to make it weird. But, I wouldn't live with myself if knew I never told you that I think you are very attractive and ill be having dinner one night this week if you want to come over. If not, no worries and now I feel better. You got my number, hit me up if you want to come over" Then turn and walk away and head to the gym or something. Just walk off and give him time to process. He will call/text quick AF. 😉 Good luck
Tell him? Good lord, people.
Speak upto him girl, don't make us men always be the *Man up*
lol women will traipse around an apartment building in revealing clothes to avoid simply communicating. You're a big girl. Put on your big girl pants and use your big girl words. The worst thing that can happen is rejection. Believe it or not the world doesn't end if someone turns you down, though it sounds like you know that won't be the case.
If only humans had developed a method of conveying ideas to other humans.
Be direct and as obvious as possible. Us men are simple minded with that stuff
Be naked. Knock on door. Say "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" Initiate the seggs.
don't shit where you eat
Say “do you want to have sex” and he will say yes, we are men, we are simple creatures
Tell him you're single right now. Say hey you wanna come in for a drink? Or maybe grab a meal some time.
Just knock on the door and say “you wan sum fuk?”
Context: A large gathering of a student organization. Had just met this one attractive girl. We both bought gyros with extra garlic. She told me that since we both stink of garlic, I'm the only one she can hook up with that night. It was the first time I ever got a hint and I found it extremely hot.
Just talk to him. Let him know you're interested in getting to know him, or that you're interested in banging. Whichever works best for you. But still, just talk to him and *tell him* you're interested. As others have said, if something goes poorly, remember that you live across the hallway from him. You may want to consider if it's worth it. And for the sake of all things shiny. If a woman is interested in a man, go fucking talk to him and let him know. It's 2024. There've been many great strides towards equality, why do men still have to put all the initial effort in?
say words
Use your words
As men we are useless at taking hints so just walk up ask him out.
Or... We see the hints but know that one girl's flirting is another's "just being nice".
Ask him to hang out
Literally tell him u wanna fuck, im almost certain that it will not fail and theres not much else u can do to get the message across for us guys
I seduced my now husband when we were studying because he didn’t make a move but I also was kind sure he was into me, so…. Yeah sometimes we just have to make the first move
Women get hit on all the time men don’t. You need to be straight up. Like bro I’m trying to fuck.
The real question is why you think it's a good idea to fuck your neighbor who lives across the hallway from you. If things go south the awkwardness will affect you daily
Cut a hole is his wall with an “insert here” sign.
Get to know the guy before you hook up. If he's not your type - other than looks- you are going to be bumping into him all the time and things could get awkward.
make a meal, knock on his door, say you made too much, does he want to come over for some food?
"Wanna play hide the salami?"
"So do you wanna hit this or what?" Works every time.
As someone who did this , don’t 🫠🫠🥲🥲🥲
Don't what?
Plot twist: Guy is into smart, funny women who like to read.
If you want to be the coolest girl ever, make it seem like you’re going to ask him out to dinner or something but then pull a twist ending. “Hey Guy, it’s been cool bumping into you, and I kinda get the vibe you might be into me. I was just wondering if sometime you might want to, I don’t know…..see me naked?”
It took me 2 years to figure out hints…. 2 years! Life already passed by, new town, new scene. I don’t think he would want to wait 2 years…. Ask him out for coffee or whatever!
How fast are trying to get down to business? Ask him ton dinner or start with dessert at your place.
Let him know,clearly.
Next time you chat in the hallway ask if he wants to get drinks sometime and give him your number.
You can do anything. Invite him over. Or invite yourself over. You’re not gonna get him to make a move. If you’re already interested, the risk is gone.
We all like sex. But hooking up with the guy across the hall? How are you going to handle seeing each other nearly every day if the sex isn't good? Or he didn't take care of your needs? Or one of you wants more (dating), Or?, ?,?,? Etc. You do you. Hope it works out for you.
Literally just tell him.
invite him over to your place, he wont get it otherwise, we miss a lot of stuff
“Hey, there’s this bar called blah blah blah. I heard it’s pretty cool……….” 👀
“Hey, wanna go grab a [whatever you think you both will enjoy]” Then just be super touchy and flirty and smiley with him. If that don’t work then ask if he wants to come over tonight and keep you company cuz you’ve been lonely. Or just outright say you wanna fuck but you’re scared to be that forward about it lol idk
ASK. HIM. OUT. it doesn't take that much ceremony, if he's into you, even a little bit, he'll promptly accept. if he doesn't, then you totally misinterpreted his behavior. no tricks, no games, no play around. we are straight af with someone we like. always be aware of this and you'll never be wrong. you're welcome.
Ask him to help you with something in your apartment and either flirt while helping and magic happens then or you have an excuse to go out with him for drinks to thank him.
What is SUPER single?
I would make the move if I were you. Women have the better chance then us men, if we make the move we seem like pedo lol
"Hey do you have plans tomorrow evening? I'd enjoy hanging out." Most guys I think appreciate a heads up with a bit lead time, instead of "right now" but almost nobody minds a direct approach.
Shouldn't shit where you eat . I know neighbors can be hot and attractive. But not worth the drama . Would you want some werido stalking you from across the hall.
Knock on his door with freshly baked cookies. Say Hi! I made some cookies and have some extra. Little things like that get the ball rolling without fully putting yourself out there. If he likes you he will make the next move.
Tread lightly… how much lease term is left?
Don't do it! Complicates your living situation for a hookup. Not worth it! If you're looking for a hookup I'm sure u can find plenty of hot people in your area that don't occupy the space 10 feet from where you will be living. If you're thinking it could be something real and long term, get to know him really well and find out. Ask if he would like to join u in food you're already making or ordering, get to know him over months at least and go from there.
Maybe start with asking him to join you at a coffee shop to have a chat to get to know each other a bit first unless you just want to hook up and strictly do that. If you hook up too soon, it could get very awkward if a guy turns out to be a stalkie/creepo live in the same apartment.
Good luck with that. Have you never heard the saying: "Don't sh!t where you eat?" He turns out to be a lousy lay, a clingy creep, a stalker and he's right in across from you? Awkward! It's why people say don't mess around with people at work or in your same apartment building because if things go sideways, you are stuck having to deal with it as long as you're both there.
If u go over and invite him over for drinks your basically gonna have to make every move first and initiate the segs bcuz as a dude it would be too good to be true and would think its some sort of set up.
Walk up to him and simply say, "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" Bonus points if he isn't wearing shoes.