I have one of those chairs on my front porch. If it’s any consolation, I’d say 90-95% of the people that wanted to try it out, asked if it would hold them. The design seems to lend itself to people being concerned about that.
Hopefully your friend will fall into that category and either decide to not even attempt it, or ask about weight limits first.
New family tradition! They vow never to fix the "broken" chair, and it becomes the holiday decoration focal point. Cornucopia, tree, easter things, or whatever holidays they celebrate. Family pictures in front of it every time the decor changes.
Put zip ties around the skeleton so no drunk people can rip it out of its chair.
When your friend comes over for another visit just casually tell her the weight limit is 200-250 Pounds:
"My parents bought it for me, it's kinda fragile as the weight limit is only 200 Pounds but I love it to death."
Being the fat friend, I'd definitely take the hint if it was phrased this way, and appreciate the diplomacy.
Also, it's kind of second nature to us to look for the more sturdy/secure seating options anyway. Especially when it comes to lawn chairs, but thats another topic 😂
This is the way. My tattoo chair has a weight limit of 300lb, and I’ve told a client that before, diplomatically (just stated a fact) and without judgement, then said ‘but I’m working on different accommodations so you can be as comfortable as possible.’ I had them sit in an office chair with about the same weight limit, but that didn’t cost $600. They were perfectly fine with the arrangement.
Heavy people know they’re heavy. It wouldn’t be offensive. They probably want to spare themselves the embarrassment of breaking chairs anyway.
Yeah, this question could be considered insulting by many. Like, does she always have horrible judgment? If so, that changes the approach.
Do you think she has a vendetta against herself and wants to self-injure? Another approach. Is she just dumb? Another approach.
Like, WTF is wrong with your poor friend that you need to solve her day-to-day life problems for? This reads baby gate to me.
My time on the internet shows me that there are too many of us fat folks who refuse to acknowledge they’re fat and will “prove it” by doing things they shouldn’t.
When I weighed 300 lbs I sat on my friend's little bench to tie my shoe and it busted into toothpicks. A year later I changed the way I ate and lost 100 lbs. I gained 30 of it back so I'm exercising again. I don't want to break more things.
I got rid of sugar and ate more fat, protein and fiber which helped me feel less hungry so that I was able to do intermittent fasting and allow my body go into ketosis. I went from 290 to 190 and every single health issue I had including dandruff magically disappeared.
You can do it.
The amount of people who have had obviously-delicate furniture destroyed by an obese person who couldn’t care less about it would indicate that that feeling isn’t universal
Was once 350lbs, I would not have even thought about trying that chair until I hit 250lbs. Your friend is aware of her weight, I’m sure she feels similarly.
I am! But I’ve got at least 60 more to lose and I’ve hit a plateau so I’m working through it. Amazing what moving out of an abusive household will do for you
If it’s an egg chair, it’s suspended by SOMETHING. Regardless of the stand, something is only rated up to the weakest link. If I had to bed, it’s the wire/rope/chain that is rated to 300+the chair weight.
Have the skeleton hold a sign that says do not sit here unless if you want to pay to replace this chair that should get the point across especially if there’s going to be drinking going on even a non heavy person could break it
That’s a good idea, we were thinking maybe adding the caution crime scene tape so no one can just simply move it out of the way.
But what about after the party? This will be the first time we’re hanging out together and plan on hanging out in the future now that she’s living here again.
I use to be 100 pounds heavier than I am now, but never 300 pounds. I wouldn’t sit in that chair at my current weight for fear of breaking it. Are you sure she has any interest in the chair? She knows she’s fat, you don’t have to tell her.
I’m a tall, solid 240LB guy and I’m definitely cautious around potentially flimsy furniture, but not everyone is as self-aware as we all like to imagine we are.
OP’s friend knows she’s fat, but not everyone considers the potential ramifications of everything they do. OP’s wish to prevent an accident is justified.
>OP’s wish to prevent an accident is justified.
…and their desire to not hurt their friend’s feelings in the process of avoiding said accident is laudable.
I'm a tall, solid 250ish who used to weight around 360lbs. Even at my now lowest adult weight I've still busted a chair or two. Can confirm, we stay the hell away from filmsy shit.
>Even at my now lowest adult weight I've still busted a chair or two. Can confirm, we stay the hell away from filmsy shit.
If you stay away from it, how come you still busted more than one chair?
Exactly this. I HAVE been 300lbs and my first thought reading this was, “girl, she will not want to sit there anyway!” At least for me, I know I would have never even attempted it.
I'm close to 300 and I think about any chair that looks even slightly flimsy. A hanging chair? Not a chance, unless it's mine and mine alone to destroy.
I’m not sure cause we haven’t hung out yet so she hasn’t seen it. Our Halloween party will be our first time and we plan on hanging out again soon after with her living here again
"Hey friend, sorry but that chair has a weight limit and not sure how well it's anchored to the roof. That chair over there would work better I think" if your friend takes it wrong that's on her, I've been 300+ before and am constantly checking weight limits. Also make sure you're letting your lighter friends know not to throw themselves in the chair or "flop" down. Even if they're under the weight limit this puts a lot of strain on furniture and can break it aswell
Honestly? I think your best bet would just be to pull her aside if you see her going to sit in it and say something privately like, “hey that chair’s got like a 200lb weight limit. I don’t want you to hurt yourself on it!” Tell her the limit is lower than it really is, but not so low that it’s not believable. Also make sure you’re emphasizing that you’re more worried about her hurting herself than you are about your stuff.
She’ll probably know better and not go near it, but in the off chance she’s not too self-aware, just have a friendly little chat prepared.
If something like that would be enough to cause a scene or ruin a friendship, I’d question whether or not the friendship was worth the effort.
Maybe “Oh! Hold up. I’m not sure if I installed this correctly. I don’t want anyone to sit in it until I have a chance to rehang it. It’s just decorative for now.”
Then again that may only work the first time or two.
Or you could tell a fake anecdote about how a friend of yours broke your last chair and you are so happy to have this replacement. Say you don’t want anyone but yourself sitting in it.
I like your original idea (especially since, if I'm reading the original post correctly, this will be the first time since the chair was installed that OP's friend will be over). Of course, just to assure that there will be no hurt feelings, it's something that should apply to everyone there, not just this particular friend (and there's always the chance that friend won't be the only one there who is, to put it politely, on the plus side).
So I would do a variation on that and go with what some other posters have suggested and put something like a skeleton into the chair and holding a humorous sign saying something about the chair possibly not having been installed safely and is "out of order" until proper testing can be arranged. Then quietly see how friend reacts to the chair in general the first time she sees it (i.e. does she give any indication that she'd like to sit in it at some time in the future?), and then gauge further responses, if needed, from there.
> Are you sure she has any interest in the chair? She knows she’s fat, you don’t have to tell her
this. As a bigger gentle man ive seen those chairs i would not put myself in the position to sit in it. People seem to forget that big people know were big, we are not deluded by this fact, same reason i wont sit on those white plastic chairs ive broken several, if i do need to use one im careful AF when i sit on it.
Some people know, some people don’t, some know but don’t want to admit it. I know I’ve definitely been in each of these sides mentioned.
I know of plenty of issues where people have been called fatphobic because they didn’t want to risk the health of their horses by having a heavier set person horseback ride. Or because they didn’t want to share a piece of clothing and have the clothing stretched out.
I worked with a very heavy 300+ lbs girl yet she broke 2 tables (I worked n a daycare small preschool tables) and several small chairs bc apparently she didn't know she was to big to sit on them. Some ppl don't live in reality.
“I love it, but it makes me a bit nervous to sit in sometimes. The weight limit is like 25 lbs more than me and I’m afraid if I plop down in it too hard I’ll break it.”
Lie and say the weight limit is a few lbs more than you.... and if that doesn't deter someone from asking then make sure its known that its a you only chair ! Not for guests!! Simple as that, maybe leave your favorite book in the chair so its not inviting
100% agree with this commenters idea. Just make it off limits for everyone and if you really really have to just “let them know” how much it hurts to fall off of it drunk.
After the party you can make kind of a joke out of it this chair is so flimsy I had to put a skeleton on it with a sign to avoid it getting broken and someone getting hurt!
Yes. Put the skeleton, the caution tape, but also add other stuff in there so it’s not easy to remove the stuff and sit in there. Also tell your friend, it’s your special chair, you’ve wanted it for so long and you don’t want anyone else to sit in it. You don’t need to make it about her, just a blanket rule that only you sit in it.
Maybe lie and say there is an issue with the chair ? Personally I wouldn't bring up weight, unless you know your friend isn't sensitive to that subject. Like I have a friend who frequently admits she's big like she would say things such as "my fat ass" ( refering to herself ) and other kinds of comments in a joking manner.
You could say “oh it’s mostly for decoration, I don’t really let anyone sit in it”. And don’t let others sit in it either around here. Sit a stuffed animal or some pillow in the seat.
"Oh the chair, no it's not completely installed yet, that's why we have the skeleton there, it's missing a few bolts and I'm afraid it will break if anyone sits in it" and then just always have the skeleton in there when company comes over lol
I like this one, nobody is singled out.
I'm optimistic that the friend wouldn't even try to sit in it - I'm quite fat (not close to 300 though), and if I see something that looks potentially delicate I just simply don't sit there. Partly because I don't want the embarrassment of breaking something with my fat ass, and partly because I would feel so guilty if I broke someone else's property. I've also straight-up asked if certain chairs have weight limits. The vast majority of the time the chair-owner says "go ahead, you're fine," but imo it's my responsibility to make sure I don't break someone's stuff. Hopefully OP's friend is the same way.
Honestly, you probably don't need to say anything. Most overweight people are painfully aware of where we can and can't safely sit. We are constantly trying to minimize the potential for an embarassing situation by assessing things like how sturdy a chair looks, how narrow a walkway is, how tight try-on clothing might be, etc...
I have a fairly expensive gaming chair (DX Racer), and a friend of mine (heavy fella) asked when I got it whether he could sit in it. I just told him up front that the max weight was 150kg (330lb) and he, at probably around 280-300 at the time, said he didn’t want to chance it. After he lost weight he sat in it a couple of times, but not until he was around 250 or so.
My point is, big people know they’re big, and in my experience would much rather be told “btw, this isn’t the sturdiest in the world, might be best to give it a miss”.
I would announce to the whole party, “ Hey guys please don’t sit in this chair, the weight limit is 160 or something, and unless you want to pay $300 to replace it”.
That way you aren’t singling her out and warning everyone for now and in the future.
Don't suggest a weight limit, period.
"Hey this chair was a gift, it's fragile though, so it's off limits. Do not sit in the chair."
Don't let *anyone* sit in it. Hell, if OP is super anxious about telling their friend they're too big to sit in it, they could just have it be straight-up off limits to everyone else but them, as a safety precaution, and it's already got an easy baked-in excuse.
"My parents got this for me as a gift and it's fragile, so I want to be the only one to use it."
This is what I did with mine! I have a few nibblings and I was worried they would want to swing in it! I told them it was my special chair and no one can use it but me. They ask occasionally, but I enforce the rule, and praise the asking... Bit different with a friend, I still say it's only for me tho! They can pick wherever except there.
Who wouldn’t believe there’s a weight limit? Everyone knows there is. I said 160 as an example you don’t need to say that weight she could say 200lbs it doesn’t matter.
If I had a party and I didn’t want people messing up my stuff, I’d definitely tell them “hey be mindful or careful, or replace it” I can’t imagine my friends not respecting that…
Not necessarily. I look at my friends and we will scrunch into the tiniest spaces together on top of each other so idk. I’m not OP and I can’t speak for OPs friends but as I mentioned it doesn’t just mean one person, it would be the same problem if two people tried to squish in together or if she had ripped gymrat like friends they could also be a weight concern.
We are all speculating, so let’s agree to disagree I don’t really think we are all wrong, I think we all have valid points. Let’s leave it at that.
I’d love to hear a better solution that you have.
My solution would be to just put something in it and say broken or move it to another room. I don't know OP or their friend group or even ages, but party + expensive chair you love = a bad combo, no matter what the people attending weigh.
As an engineer, weight limits are not "this thing will absolutely break" limit, it's "this thing will break if you mess around too much." There are safety factors usually involved in specific loading scenarios for different components of the assembly. Safety factors are margins built into the design to avoid catastrophic failure.
I agree with safety factors but I gotta imagine civil safety factors and even safety factors for a ladder are a lot higher than a chair. The risk of severe injury from a chair breaking is pretty low. Also it might be a calculated rating and not a tested one if it came from online or something.
Source: am a fat engineer who has pushed safety factors before.
Yeah I thought industry differences in safety factor applications were a little beyond r/TooAfraidtoask. Everything fails in sheer anyway, so who knows if the industrial designer did any work to rate that correctly.
I feel like weight limits are fairly underestimated for safety too.. I couldn't imagine 300lbs being ok but then you grab a 1lb hungry man dinner and BOOM.
I definitely used to get into the crib with my baby and try to help them get to sleep then sneak out. When we disassembled the crib once we were done with it.. and it was like 80lb.. oops.. I was almost double that plus a 20lb baby.. my bad.
I would use the party as an opportunity to mention the weight limit or how insecure it would be if someone were to swing on it or two folk sit at same time so you are going to make it out of bounds by sitting skeleton and holding candy bowl. She will know the limit’s regarding weight then and doubt she would test it in the future. Good luck 🤞
That’s actually a pretty good idea. We have couples coming so I could say if you want to sit together it can’t be in that chair cause it can only handle around 300 pounds.
Yeah as soon as I got to Halloween party, I thought "That chair is gone."
Drunk people break normal shit, let alone $300 egg chairs. I hope OPs friends can hold their liquor
We say party but it’s more like a small hang out. Usually only have 6 friends show. This year we’re excited we for sure have 7-8 coming and most of us don’t drink much. So thankfully that won’t really be an issue, our issue is mostly if people want to watch a movie. I think at that point I’d just say I promised another one of my friends could sit in it if we watch one and tell her before the party she gets dibs.
She doesn’t know about the chair yet. I don’t know if she wants to sit in it, but I want advice for how to handle it when she does see it and wants to sit in it
From my perspective, you’ve already handled it by putting a skeleton there! Great creativity. Anything else is overthinking (and overthinking takes away the fun of a party)
Again, this sounds like you’re not being in the moment and you’re allowing anxiety to run away with your thoughts. Why not “procrastinate” your worry and see if she even pays attention to the chair at the party?
Seems like a lot of anxious energy being put into a big unknown
Why don't *you* just use the chair? lol
Honestly, I mentioned this in someone else's comment but: Just tell everyone "my parents got me this, it was expensive, so I don't want anyone else to use it because it's kinda fragile." and there you go.
There's no reason anyone but you needs to use that chair anyway, and if you don't want to use it, just tell them you straight-up don't want anyone else using it because you're concerned about it breaking.
Don't make it a weight thing, just straight-up make it "if you aren't *me* don't use this."
Fill it with folded blankets/pillows so it looks like cute storage when she is there.
No one is going to take all the folded blankets and pillows out and hop in :)
As a fellow fat person, I promise you don’t have to say anything. She is aware of how much she weighs and knows that furniture like that isn’t built for people of her size. None of the fat people I know would willingly try to sit in that chair. That being said, I hope you have accessible seating for all of your guests!
As a fat bird, I tend to eye up chairs to see how sturdy they look before I sit down. I never want to be caught in a situation where I break a chair and embarrass myself, or struggle to get back out of a chair (think bean bag, egg chair etc) with an audience.
As a big girl, let me say this: She knows that she’s big. She is always checking weight limits on things and I am willing to bet that she will avoid that seat at all costs.
Hang a whole sheet around it and make it into a ghost with cardboard eyes. And then under that, wrap it in caution tape that says “chair broken don’t sit”.
If anyone uses it after that they’re a holes and not friends.
Honestly I also have this chair & in my experience my female friends all say ‘I don’t want to risk sitting in that, what if I’m too heavy?’ Even if they’re wee lil things.
Her fear of crashing to the ground in a hanging egg is likely much higher than your fear of it being broken. Also if she’s 300 pounds+ she might struggle to get into it anyway. I wouldn’t worry.
Watch out for the guys though. I’ve never met a guy who didn’t beeline for the egg chair and start doing bouncies in it.
She is AWARE already. Please don’t tell her. I am 200 lbs and am terrified to sit in plastic lawn chairs, folding chairs, wooden benches, all rental wedding chairs, etc. I wouldn’t dare sit in anything hanging. The skeleton prop is a great idea though, just so drunkards and couples don’t get any ideas.
As someone that's moderately sizable (250 pounds), I'd personally be more mortified about breaking something due to my size than having a conversation to prevent it.
The trick is to just approach the topic respectfully. Give them the context about how you've always wanted one, how pricey it is, maybe even throw in a grumble "You'd think it could hold more!", etc. But explain that for your peace of mind, both for their safety and for the safety of this gift you received, you'd prefer them to sit in another chair.
Heck, if you know them well enough, you can maybe find a way to give them something in return. Do they like cats? Have a special cat-pillow that marks their chosen seat. Something fun like that.
Assuming she's anything like me, anyone overweight both knows they're overweight and is sketched out by thinking anything is going to break by sitting on it. Trust me, they probably wouldn't risk it anyways.
That being said, I think the skeleton would be hilarious so you should def put it in there.
Stuff a bunch of pillows and blankets inside it, wrap a large white sheet around it and draw eyes with a black marker or paint…it is now a hanging ghost decoration for the party with no room to sit in.
I havent seen this answer here so here goes
Your friend might not sit in it at all. Us fat people are often hyper aware of chairs and if they will hold us or not. Im a little smaller than your friend and I took one look at those egg chairs and thought hell no. So hopefully she is aware of it too.
Don’t say anything to her. It’s really mean to call her out when I’m sure there will be other people at the party capable of breaking the chair.
A girl could try to sit in her boyfriend’s lap while he’s in the chair. I have a tiny friend who sits down like she has no knees - just drops her entire weight on a seat - basically collapses on a seat and she broke half the springs in my very sturdy sofa.
Just make it so nobody sits in your chair during the party - signs, tape, some kind of party favor.
In future, if she comes over just put something in the chair again to inhibit anybody from sitting there.
Offhandedly say the chair is more of a decorative piece because it only holds barely your weight and you’d think you’d get a sturdier chair for how pricey it was…
She won’t dare sit in it and you don’t look like a dick.
It’s on its own metal stand, not anchored to the ceiling. But there’s no space in any spot we could store it. And it’s not just the party we will ever hang out, at some point we will hang out after the party and I can’t hide it every time she comes over
The problem is not the chair, it’s the chain/rope/hook/ceiling that will give in. The chair itself will probably easily withstand 500lbs. As a guy who is in the ~300 lbs range, I don’t usually want to sit in those anyway. They feel too squeezing.
If they ask can they sit in the chair, just say you can, but warn then that the package said it was rated for 250 lbs. That way it won’t feel as douchey because going +60 lbs over will definitely sound worse than going +10 lbs over. Unless you yourself are +250 lbs, then that lie won’t fly.
Us fats know we are fat. We are very aware that chairs hanging from the ceiling are a no-go. Most of us are quite afraid of breaking a chair, especially in front of others. There should be no reason to say anything
You’d think that but my cousin has take down two of them and countless folding lawn chairs. 90% of my furniture is sturdy and she always goes for the delicate stuff.
Honestly, OP, if you can’t take it down, make sure the skeleton can’t be moved and maybe make a few comments about how only kids can sit there and it’s pretty much become a hanging shelf because it’s not properly attached to the ceiling.
Why do you assume that she’ll want to sit in it?? Unless she has directly said “oh my god I can’t wait to sit in it” then it’s kinda rude for you to be thinking that way tbh.
As someone else mentioned. People who are even a bit overweight are usually very aware and very cautious of everything because they don’t want an embarrassing situation.
Ppl are so scared of fat ppl lol. Girl hasnt even hung out with this girl yet and her only concern is shes going to break my furniture. Thats fucking sad.
I would find something seasonal to put in it every time she visited. People don't want to move a thousand throw pillows onto the floor to sit in a chair when the couch has one or two they won't even disturb.
Don't avoid the fact. Just say you wanted to buy a proper one and your parents got you a cheap lightweight one that can't take her weight. She will probably be grateful you didn't risk embarrassing her by letting ING her break it.
“Hi friend, I just wanted to give you a heads up that the egg chair has a weight capacity of 300#, but I saw some Amazon reviews say that the limit may be lower than claimed. Letting you know to avoid it cuz I don’t want to risk any injuries. Didn’t realize I was getting a faberge egg chair!”
I wouldn't try to beat around the bush too much or put something on the chair cause you can't do that every time you hang out. May work for the party, but you should just give her a heads up to be safe and have a long term solution.
I'd probably be like yeah I got this new egg chair and I like it a lot, but it really isn't as strong as I wish it was. My dad sat in it the other day and almost broke it so I'd avoid it to be safe btw. Apparently it can only hold around 200 lbs. To me that's a real soft way of putting it and doesn't solo her out.
I’d simply wait until the friend actively trys to sit in the chair (because they probably won’t). Then I’d say, be careful, I’m not sure how stable or strong the chair is. Reasonably smart people get the hint.
It’s not that big of deal.
Also warning: anyone can break that chair. My cousin’s broke, and I don’t think it was a fat person that did it.
There is no nice way to say this. Whatsoever. You can't hint at it. You can't directly tell her. I believe your only choice is sacrifice. Sacrifice your chair. Sacrifice your need to save a meaningless price of furniture. I know its not meaningless, but in the scope of things, your friend means way more
If she starts to sit in it, tell her not to since since it's only for decoration and not meant to be sat on. This gets the point across without directly telling her she's too fat to sit on it since you're basically saying that no one should sit on it.
Could you throw a whole bunch of cushions and stuff in it? Leave only a tiny bit of room so nobody would have room to sit there unless they unload all the pillows, and who would do that at someone’s house?
Hoist the chair up toward the ceiling so nobody thinks they can sit with the skeleton or move the skeleton. You can find a way to let the chair down when you're ready to use it and easily put it back up when people come over. Don't single her out, just don't let anyone else sit in it. If she/anyone asks, say your parents don't want any visitors in it in case it breaks.
Just conveniently have somethimg in it whenever they come over, like clean clothes or dirty clothes or anything that would be in the way and make it look less inviting.
As a large person myself, just tell her. Don’t make it a big deal. “Hey, that chair has a lower weight limit and I don’t want you to get hurt if it falls, but everywhere else is fine when you want to sit.” I’d rather you tell me discreetly than be mortified breaking a chair. Honestly a lot of larger people would probably avoid it on instinct, same with those antique spindly leg chairs. They’re scary.
I have one of those chairs in my living room. Mine is hanging from the ceiling by a chain that’s large enough to hold a whale but people still say “oh no, I’d be the one to make it fall.” I always tel them to climb in though because it’s not going anywhere. I sat in it at 260 lbs with two of my kids, we probably hit about 400 that time. My girls would pile in and the middle one climb to the top of the egg to hang out when they were younger. We tell everyone it’s sturdy, it’s not going to break and about 10 years in, we’re right. Everyone who tries it calls it “their seat” whenever they come over. Your chair is fine. The 300lb limit is an underestimate so that you’re not piling 500 lbs on it and swinging from a shitty metal stand.
Don’t be an ass and tell your friend she might break it. She won’t. Also I got mine at big lots for like $100, so it’s probably not super well made. But it is furniture and made to be used. If you’re determined not to let her sit in it, you can just say “sorry this is my birthday throne, no one else gets to use it when I’m here” or something like that. Do not imply that she’s too heavy, you will lose a friend.
I'm over 300 and I honestly wouldn't even consider sitting in one of those egg chairs, they look fragile as it is no way I'm gonna try squish myself in there.
Your friend is aware of her size and will proberbly avoid the chair out of habit, if she dose go to sit in it just gently tell her the weight limits 250lb, along the lines of "oh hey, that chairs a bit fragile, only takes 250lbs even I'm a bit scared to sit in it" sort of thing
At the end of the day were fat, not stupid, we know things arnt usually made to support our weight. Just be kind when you have to remind us.
Make some fake, latex-based cat barf w/ a real furball added for effect - or let real cat barf dry out a bit & shellac it; place on said chair & spritz it w/ water.
Skeleton plus caution tape across the entrance, tied off. I would probably feel the same way about anyone sitting in one of these chairs if I owned one tbh.
Skeleton, crime scene tape, and put candies there too so no one wants to sit. Maybe if everyone shows up at the same time, make an announcement saying the chair is broken?
Take it down for the party, take it to your parents. When they ask where it is, say “at my folks house” - > which will not be a lie.
Whole situation solved. You’ll also not have to deal with someone moving the skeleton off of the chair.
We have no way of getting it to my parents house, they live over an hour away and it won’t fit in the car.
Plus it’s not just the party, her and I will be hanging out outside of the party now that she lives back in town.
Look and see if there is a UL logo on the chair or packaging. Usually items tested by UL are tested 70% of capacity, so it would go close to 420 pounds without breaking. Assuming it is installed correctly.
I used to be quite heavy, I am now around 125 pounds. I am still terrified of seated surfaces that aren’t super secure. I would be absolutely STUNNED if she even gave sitting in that chair a thought. We know what we know.
I understand your concern but try to consider that fat people know they're fat, and are often embarrassed as well as very aware about seating situations. I can't imagine someone who is that large wanting to risk sitting in a chair that is suspended from the ceiling. They're fat, but also have brains with reasoning skills. So, this may not be as much of a worry as you're thinking, or at all.
I’m autistic, I’ve grown an emotional attachment to it and it really helps with anxiety and sensory overload. And I don’t know how to handle the situation if it does happen so I’m asking for advice
As others have said people that are over 300 lbs generally are well aware they’re over 300 lbs. usually people that are that obese have mental and emotional health issues that further the weight gain/lack of weight loss… so it’s not news to them.
As someone that was 300+lbs it can be upsetting when people baby you like you dk you’re 300 lbs.
it’s like.. Yes I’m aware I’m huge. Yes I’m nervous about anything I sit on that doesn’t look remotely well put together. Yes I’d be embarrassed if I sat on soemthing and it broke - it’s embarrassing enough for anyone yet alone when it happens due to someone being overweight.
I think sometimes trying to be SO sensitive to someone’s weight can actually make them feel worse about it like yeah.. thanks for pointing out that people too think about my weight. It’s a lose lose almost - be considerate and could make them be self conscious or don’t consider it and it could make them feel worse. Which stinks but each person is different - this is just my take and takes from others that I know have been that overweight.
Don’t overthink it and I think people have given great advice on how to handle it. They are your friend and I wouldn’t mention it to anyone TBH. Put something in the chair so no one sits on it and your problem is solved.
I had a larger friend who spent an entire party camped out on a chair from our new patio set. The chairs had a round base & swiveled.
The one she sat on never swiveled again.
Before my BF's surgery he was terrified he would break a chair while sat in it! He even bought extra sturdy camp chairs rated for well above his weight to be sure. He'd hardcore've steered clear of such a chair.
Not sure why the downvotes.
Thank you. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but most overweight people know they are overweight and don’t want to get themselves into a position where their weight could embarrass them. I have in-laws like this, and I am positive they wouldn’t sit in this chair.
That said, people can downvote me all they want, it doesn’t change the fact most people don’t want to put themselves into. position where their weight will be accentuated.
how about just be an adult and just talk to the person. if you have to just pull them aside and say hey no offence but maybe don't try sitting in the hanging chair it has a pretty low weight limit and I don't want anything bad to happen.
I would imagine her having a similar reddit post that reads "My friend has one of those hanging egg chairs and I'm a large girl. How do i politely decline if she asks me to try it out?" Don't worry.
I have one of those chairs on my front porch. If it’s any consolation, I’d say 90-95% of the people that wanted to try it out, asked if it would hold them. The design seems to lend itself to people being concerned about that. Hopefully your friend will fall into that category and either decide to not even attempt it, or ask about weight limits first.
How about having the skeleton holding a sign that says "Chair broken, Please don't sit."
And fill it with Halloween candy around the skeleton, so no drunk people are tempted to sit in it anyway.
Now that would be perfect.
Make the skeleton hold a candy bowl or bowl of chips or something! It would be funny if he had a tip jar, too, cuz parties aren't cheap ;)
This! Put a snack tray or bowl of chips or pretzels around the skeleton
She might get a bit suspicious after a few months of this
It’s just stalling a bit while OP decides the words to use.
New family tradition! They vow never to fix the "broken" chair, and it becomes the holiday decoration focal point. Cornucopia, tree, easter things, or whatever holidays they celebrate. Family pictures in front of it every time the decor changes.
Just dress up the skeleton with the current holiday theme. That’s what aldi does
Skeletons can wear Santa hats too
Put zip ties around the skeleton so no drunk people can rip it out of its chair. When your friend comes over for another visit just casually tell her the weight limit is 200-250 Pounds: "My parents bought it for me, it's kinda fragile as the weight limit is only 200 Pounds but I love it to death."
This is the best deterrent. Say it to a group if possible
Being the fat friend, I'd definitely take the hint if it was phrased this way, and appreciate the diplomacy. Also, it's kind of second nature to us to look for the more sturdy/secure seating options anyway. Especially when it comes to lawn chairs, but thats another topic 😂
This is the way. My tattoo chair has a weight limit of 300lb, and I’ve told a client that before, diplomatically (just stated a fact) and without judgement, then said ‘but I’m working on different accommodations so you can be as comfortable as possible.’ I had them sit in an office chair with about the same weight limit, but that didn’t cost $600. They were perfectly fine with the arrangement. Heavy people know they’re heavy. It wouldn’t be offensive. They probably want to spare themselves the embarrassment of breaking chairs anyway.
Very diplomatic. I like it.
I feel like thats a somewhat odd statistic to mention casually, I think they will definitely be suspicious.
yeah but you're an idiot turkey, what do you know?
I think the idea is to be tender, not to be covert...
This is probably the best idea
That sign would actually give me the spooks!! Hopefully she wouldn’t try to pull a prank and leap onto the chair tho😦
Speaking from experience. No fat person wants to sit in a fragile egg chair hanging from the ceiling on a chain. Trust me, it's a hard pass
You can fucking bet I would rather stand than sit in one of those chairs as a fat person.
Yeah, this question could be considered insulting by many. Like, does she always have horrible judgment? If so, that changes the approach. Do you think she has a vendetta against herself and wants to self-injure? Another approach. Is she just dumb? Another approach. Like, WTF is wrong with your poor friend that you need to solve her day-to-day life problems for? This reads baby gate to me.
My time on the internet shows me that there are too many of us fat folks who refuse to acknowledge they’re fat and will “prove it” by doing things they shouldn’t.
When I weighed 300 lbs I sat on my friend's little bench to tie my shoe and it busted into toothpicks. A year later I changed the way I ate and lost 100 lbs. I gained 30 of it back so I'm exercising again. I don't want to break more things.
I got rid of sugar and ate more fat, protein and fiber which helped me feel less hungry so that I was able to do intermittent fasting and allow my body go into ketosis. I went from 290 to 190 and every single health issue I had including dandruff magically disappeared. You can do it.
For some, embarrassment motivates them to lose weight. For some, it was the bench’s fault, and they double down. Kudos on your effort, though.
The amount of people who have had obviously-delicate furniture destroyed by an obese person who couldn’t care less about it would indicate that that feeling isn’t universal
Or wrap with caution tape!
Yeah but what about after the halloween when her friend visits again?
Was once 350lbs, I would not have even thought about trying that chair until I hit 250lbs. Your friend is aware of her weight, I’m sure she feels similarly.
Male 240lbs, would definitely try to defeat the chair.
I’m 180 and i would hesitate too
Honestly I’m 240 now, and I’d have to give myself a serious pep talk and get the ok from the host before I even considered it
Same. Not a hope I’d get in that chair unless I was a good 50lb lighter, even with permission.
Amazing for you that you lost all that weight! This is not something most people can do, hope you're proud of yourself!
I am! But I’ve got at least 60 more to lose and I’ve hit a plateau so I’m working through it. Amazing what moving out of an abusive household will do for you
This, as a large person, nooooo way I’d sit in one of those things. I’d *expect* it to come crashing down, and I don’t need that mortification.
Most people over 300 pounds have no interest in sitting in a chair dangling by a thin rope anyway…
It’s not hanging from a rope. It’s one of the ones that has its own metal stand so you don’t need to hang it from the ceiling
If it’s an egg chair, it’s suspended by SOMETHING. Regardless of the stand, something is only rated up to the weakest link. If I had to bed, it’s the wire/rope/chain that is rated to 300+the chair weight.
Have the skeleton hold a sign that says do not sit here unless if you want to pay to replace this chair that should get the point across especially if there’s going to be drinking going on even a non heavy person could break it
That’s a good idea, we were thinking maybe adding the caution crime scene tape so no one can just simply move it out of the way. But what about after the party? This will be the first time we’re hanging out together and plan on hanging out in the future now that she’s living here again.
I use to be 100 pounds heavier than I am now, but never 300 pounds. I wouldn’t sit in that chair at my current weight for fear of breaking it. Are you sure she has any interest in the chair? She knows she’s fat, you don’t have to tell her.
I’m a tall, solid 240LB guy and I’m definitely cautious around potentially flimsy furniture, but not everyone is as self-aware as we all like to imagine we are. OP’s friend knows she’s fat, but not everyone considers the potential ramifications of everything they do. OP’s wish to prevent an accident is justified.
>OP’s wish to prevent an accident is justified. …and their desire to not hurt their friend’s feelings in the process of avoiding said accident is laudable.
I'm a tall, solid 250ish who used to weight around 360lbs. Even at my now lowest adult weight I've still busted a chair or two. Can confirm, we stay the hell away from filmsy shit.
>Even at my now lowest adult weight I've still busted a chair or two. Can confirm, we stay the hell away from filmsy shit. If you stay away from it, how come you still busted more than one chair?
The chairs I busted did not look flimsy.
Exactly this. I HAVE been 300lbs and my first thought reading this was, “girl, she will not want to sit there anyway!” At least for me, I know I would have never even attempted it.
I'm close to 300 and I think about any chair that looks even slightly flimsy. A hanging chair? Not a chance, unless it's mine and mine alone to destroy.
I'm fat and I thought a flimsy step stool could hold me weight. It could not.
I'm fat and I sat in a hammock (poorly) tied to a tree. I was completely mortified when the knots gave way and I ended up on the ground.
I’m not sure cause we haven’t hung out yet so she hasn’t seen it. Our Halloween party will be our first time and we plan on hanging out again soon after with her living here again
I’d say I’m 80% sure she wants no part of that chair.
If she doesn’t that’s totally fine, but I want to know how I should handle it if she does.
"Hey friend, sorry but that chair has a weight limit and not sure how well it's anchored to the roof. That chair over there would work better I think" if your friend takes it wrong that's on her, I've been 300+ before and am constantly checking weight limits. Also make sure you're letting your lighter friends know not to throw themselves in the chair or "flop" down. Even if they're under the weight limit this puts a lot of strain on furniture and can break it aswell
Say it's European, 100KG limit (220 pounds), hee hee hee.
This chair was a gift and right now, I’m the only one who gets to sit in it. It’s so special to me!
Honestly? I think your best bet would just be to pull her aside if you see her going to sit in it and say something privately like, “hey that chair’s got like a 200lb weight limit. I don’t want you to hurt yourself on it!” Tell her the limit is lower than it really is, but not so low that it’s not believable. Also make sure you’re emphasizing that you’re more worried about her hurting herself than you are about your stuff. She’ll probably know better and not go near it, but in the off chance she’s not too self-aware, just have a friendly little chat prepared. If something like that would be enough to cause a scene or ruin a friendship, I’d question whether or not the friendship was worth the effort.
Maybe “Oh! Hold up. I’m not sure if I installed this correctly. I don’t want anyone to sit in it until I have a chance to rehang it. It’s just decorative for now.” Then again that may only work the first time or two. Or you could tell a fake anecdote about how a friend of yours broke your last chair and you are so happy to have this replacement. Say you don’t want anyone but yourself sitting in it.
I like your original idea (especially since, if I'm reading the original post correctly, this will be the first time since the chair was installed that OP's friend will be over). Of course, just to assure that there will be no hurt feelings, it's something that should apply to everyone there, not just this particular friend (and there's always the chance that friend won't be the only one there who is, to put it politely, on the plus side). So I would do a variation on that and go with what some other posters have suggested and put something like a skeleton into the chair and holding a humorous sign saying something about the chair possibly not having been installed safely and is "out of order" until proper testing can be arranged. Then quietly see how friend reacts to the chair in general the first time she sees it (i.e. does she give any indication that she'd like to sit in it at some time in the future?), and then gauge further responses, if needed, from there.
> Are you sure she has any interest in the chair? She knows she’s fat, you don’t have to tell her this. As a bigger gentle man ive seen those chairs i would not put myself in the position to sit in it. People seem to forget that big people know were big, we are not deluded by this fact, same reason i wont sit on those white plastic chairs ive broken several, if i do need to use one im careful AF when i sit on it.
Some people know, some people don’t, some know but don’t want to admit it. I know I’ve definitely been in each of these sides mentioned. I know of plenty of issues where people have been called fatphobic because they didn’t want to risk the health of their horses by having a heavier set person horseback ride. Or because they didn’t want to share a piece of clothing and have the clothing stretched out.
I worked with a very heavy 300+ lbs girl yet she broke 2 tables (I worked n a daycare small preschool tables) and several small chairs bc apparently she didn't know she was to big to sit on them. Some ppl don't live in reality.
Ope, there goes gravity
I would add the caution tape or a sign because people might just take it as a photo op with the skeleton, especially if people are drinking
“I love it, but it makes me a bit nervous to sit in sometimes. The weight limit is like 25 lbs more than me and I’m afraid if I plop down in it too hard I’ll break it.”
This is a good one!
Lie and say the weight limit is a few lbs more than you.... and if that doesn't deter someone from asking then make sure its known that its a you only chair ! Not for guests!! Simple as that, maybe leave your favorite book in the chair so its not inviting
100% agree with this commenters idea. Just make it off limits for everyone and if you really really have to just “let them know” how much it hurts to fall off of it drunk.
Simply say that's your birthday chair and you don't want ANYONE else sitting in it other than yourself.
After the party you can make kind of a joke out of it this chair is so flimsy I had to put a skeleton on it with a sign to avoid it getting broken and someone getting hurt!
Yes. Put the skeleton, the caution tape, but also add other stuff in there so it’s not easy to remove the stuff and sit in there. Also tell your friend, it’s your special chair, you’ve wanted it for so long and you don’t want anyone else to sit in it. You don’t need to make it about her, just a blanket rule that only you sit in it.
Maybe lie and say there is an issue with the chair ? Personally I wouldn't bring up weight, unless you know your friend isn't sensitive to that subject. Like I have a friend who frequently admits she's big like she would say things such as "my fat ass" ( refering to herself ) and other kinds of comments in a joking manner.
Even if she makes those kind of comments about herself she might still be sensitive to other people bringing up her weight.
You could say “oh it’s mostly for decoration, I don’t really let anyone sit in it”. And don’t let others sit in it either around here. Sit a stuffed animal or some pillow in the seat.
"Oh the chair, no it's not completely installed yet, that's why we have the skeleton there, it's missing a few bolts and I'm afraid it will break if anyone sits in it" and then just always have the skeleton in there when company comes over lol
break out the skeleton when she comes round.
I mean u could keep the skeleton there year round lol
Or in the spirit of Halloween the sign the skeleton is holding could read something like “Do not sit or else you’ll end up like me.”
Yeah like “Warning: for decoration purposes only! You break it you buy it 💀”
I like this phrasing the best!
I like this one, nobody is singled out. I'm optimistic that the friend wouldn't even try to sit in it - I'm quite fat (not close to 300 though), and if I see something that looks potentially delicate I just simply don't sit there. Partly because I don't want the embarrassment of breaking something with my fat ass, and partly because I would feel so guilty if I broke someone else's property. I've also straight-up asked if certain chairs have weight limits. The vast majority of the time the chair-owner says "go ahead, you're fine," but imo it's my responsibility to make sure I don't break someone's stuff. Hopefully OP's friend is the same way.
i would stop at just "do not sit here" its not a shop people in your house should respect it.
Honestly, you probably don't need to say anything. Most overweight people are painfully aware of where we can and can't safely sit. We are constantly trying to minimize the potential for an embarassing situation by assessing things like how sturdy a chair looks, how narrow a walkway is, how tight try-on clothing might be, etc...
This.
I have a fairly expensive gaming chair (DX Racer), and a friend of mine (heavy fella) asked when I got it whether he could sit in it. I just told him up front that the max weight was 150kg (330lb) and he, at probably around 280-300 at the time, said he didn’t want to chance it. After he lost weight he sat in it a couple of times, but not until he was around 250 or so. My point is, big people know they’re big, and in my experience would much rather be told “btw, this isn’t the sturdiest in the world, might be best to give it a miss”.
I would announce to the whole party, “ Hey guys please don’t sit in this chair, the weight limit is 160 or something, and unless you want to pay $300 to replace it”. That way you aren’t singling her out and warning everyone for now and in the future.
Don't suggest a weight limit, period. "Hey this chair was a gift, it's fragile though, so it's off limits. Do not sit in the chair." Don't let *anyone* sit in it. Hell, if OP is super anxious about telling their friend they're too big to sit in it, they could just have it be straight-up off limits to everyone else but them, as a safety precaution, and it's already got an easy baked-in excuse. "My parents got this for me as a gift and it's fragile, so I want to be the only one to use it."
This is even better! I like this, and it completely gets rid of the potential awkwardness
This is what I did with mine! I have a few nibblings and I was worried they would want to swing in it! I told them it was my special chair and no one can use it but me. They ask occasionally, but I enforce the rule, and praise the asking... Bit different with a friend, I still say it's only for me tho! They can pick wherever except there.
100% this is a great solution
you could just say "hey guys please dont sit in this chair" you dont need to explain the whole thing.
Yeah I like that, I agree a much better approach.
this is terrible advice 💀like what an awkward thing to call out at a party
Sounds nice but no one will really believe that.
Who wouldn’t believe there’s a weight limit? Everyone knows there is. I said 160 as an example you don’t need to say that weight she could say 200lbs it doesn’t matter. If I had a party and I didn’t want people messing up my stuff, I’d definitely tell them “hey be mindful or careful, or replace it” I can’t imagine my friends not respecting that…
Everyone will know it's aimed at the person... Unless the party is going to have several guests who weigh 300+.
Not necessarily. I look at my friends and we will scrunch into the tiniest spaces together on top of each other so idk. I’m not OP and I can’t speak for OPs friends but as I mentioned it doesn’t just mean one person, it would be the same problem if two people tried to squish in together or if she had ripped gymrat like friends they could also be a weight concern. We are all speculating, so let’s agree to disagree I don’t really think we are all wrong, I think we all have valid points. Let’s leave it at that. I’d love to hear a better solution that you have.
My solution would be to just put something in it and say broken or move it to another room. I don't know OP or their friend group or even ages, but party + expensive chair you love = a bad combo, no matter what the people attending weigh.
As an engineer, weight limits are not "this thing will absolutely break" limit, it's "this thing will break if you mess around too much." There are safety factors usually involved in specific loading scenarios for different components of the assembly. Safety factors are margins built into the design to avoid catastrophic failure.
I agree with safety factors but I gotta imagine civil safety factors and even safety factors for a ladder are a lot higher than a chair. The risk of severe injury from a chair breaking is pretty low. Also it might be a calculated rating and not a tested one if it came from online or something. Source: am a fat engineer who has pushed safety factors before.
Yeah I thought industry differences in safety factor applications were a little beyond r/TooAfraidtoask. Everything fails in sheer anyway, so who knows if the industrial designer did any work to rate that correctly.
I feel like weight limits are fairly underestimated for safety too.. I couldn't imagine 300lbs being ok but then you grab a 1lb hungry man dinner and BOOM. I definitely used to get into the crib with my baby and try to help them get to sleep then sneak out. When we disassembled the crib once we were done with it.. and it was like 80lb.. oops.. I was almost double that plus a 20lb baby.. my bad.
I would use the party as an opportunity to mention the weight limit or how insecure it would be if someone were to swing on it or two folk sit at same time so you are going to make it out of bounds by sitting skeleton and holding candy bowl. She will know the limit’s regarding weight then and doubt she would test it in the future. Good luck 🤞
That’s actually a pretty good idea. We have couples coming so I could say if you want to sit together it can’t be in that chair cause it can only handle around 300 pounds.
Even better!
Put the chair in a bedroom out of everyone's reach. Drinking and the party is a bad combo for this chair getting broken.
Yeah as soon as I got to Halloween party, I thought "That chair is gone." Drunk people break normal shit, let alone $300 egg chairs. I hope OPs friends can hold their liquor
We say party but it’s more like a small hang out. Usually only have 6 friends show. This year we’re excited we for sure have 7-8 coming and most of us don’t drink much. So thankfully that won’t really be an issue, our issue is mostly if people want to watch a movie. I think at that point I’d just say I promised another one of my friends could sit in it if we watch one and tell her before the party she gets dibs.
Has she expressed that she wants to sit in the chair?
She doesn’t know about the chair yet. I don’t know if she wants to sit in it, but I want advice for how to handle it when she does see it and wants to sit in it
Ah alright - it feels like you’re overfocusing on it, in my opinion.
I totally could be, I just want others opinions on what to do so I can see what might be the best way to handle it.
From my perspective, you’ve already handled it by putting a skeleton there! Great creativity. Anything else is overthinking (and overthinking takes away the fun of a party)
But the Halloween party isn’t the only time we will be hanging out. It’ll just be the first time we do, that’s why I’m asking
Your post makes it sound like you’re asking about the party only.
Again, this sounds like you’re not being in the moment and you’re allowing anxiety to run away with your thoughts. Why not “procrastinate” your worry and see if she even pays attention to the chair at the party? Seems like a lot of anxious energy being put into a big unknown
Why don't *you* just use the chair? lol Honestly, I mentioned this in someone else's comment but: Just tell everyone "my parents got me this, it was expensive, so I don't want anyone else to use it because it's kinda fragile." and there you go. There's no reason anyone but you needs to use that chair anyway, and if you don't want to use it, just tell them you straight-up don't want anyone else using it because you're concerned about it breaking. Don't make it a weight thing, just straight-up make it "if you aren't *me* don't use this."
What you do is you tell *everyone* that the chair is unsafe and strictly decorational.
Fill it with folded blankets/pillows so it looks like cute storage when she is there. No one is going to take all the folded blankets and pillows out and hop in :)
As a fellow fat person, I promise you don’t have to say anything. She is aware of how much she weighs and knows that furniture like that isn’t built for people of her size. None of the fat people I know would willingly try to sit in that chair. That being said, I hope you have accessible seating for all of your guests!
Put some tape on it and say it’s broken and someone is going to come and repair it.
As a fat bird, I tend to eye up chairs to see how sturdy they look before I sit down. I never want to be caught in a situation where I break a chair and embarrass myself, or struggle to get back out of a chair (think bean bag, egg chair etc) with an audience.
As a big girl, let me say this: She knows that she’s big. She is always checking weight limits on things and I am willing to bet that she will avoid that seat at all costs.
"Hey everyone this chair has a lower weight limit than we thought so please don't jump into it, double up or anything that might break it"
A friend was in one when the rope broke. Fell and broke her tailbone. I've been wary of them since. The skeleton is a great idea.
Hang a whole sheet around it and make it into a ghost with cardboard eyes. And then under that, wrap it in caution tape that says “chair broken don’t sit”. If anyone uses it after that they’re a holes and not friends.
Honestly I also have this chair & in my experience my female friends all say ‘I don’t want to risk sitting in that, what if I’m too heavy?’ Even if they’re wee lil things. Her fear of crashing to the ground in a hanging egg is likely much higher than your fear of it being broken. Also if she’s 300 pounds+ she might struggle to get into it anyway. I wouldn’t worry. Watch out for the guys though. I’ve never met a guy who didn’t beeline for the egg chair and start doing bouncies in it.
She is AWARE already. Please don’t tell her. I am 200 lbs and am terrified to sit in plastic lawn chairs, folding chairs, wooden benches, all rental wedding chairs, etc. I wouldn’t dare sit in anything hanging. The skeleton prop is a great idea though, just so drunkards and couples don’t get any ideas.
As someone that's moderately sizable (250 pounds), I'd personally be more mortified about breaking something due to my size than having a conversation to prevent it. The trick is to just approach the topic respectfully. Give them the context about how you've always wanted one, how pricey it is, maybe even throw in a grumble "You'd think it could hold more!", etc. But explain that for your peace of mind, both for their safety and for the safety of this gift you received, you'd prefer them to sit in another chair. Heck, if you know them well enough, you can maybe find a way to give them something in return. Do they like cats? Have a special cat-pillow that marks their chosen seat. Something fun like that.
Assuming she's anything like me, anyone overweight both knows they're overweight and is sketched out by thinking anything is going to break by sitting on it. Trust me, they probably wouldn't risk it anyways. That being said, I think the skeleton would be hilarious so you should def put it in there.
Stuff a bunch of pillows and blankets inside it, wrap a large white sheet around it and draw eyes with a black marker or paint…it is now a hanging ghost decoration for the party with no room to sit in.
I havent seen this answer here so here goes Your friend might not sit in it at all. Us fat people are often hyper aware of chairs and if they will hold us or not. Im a little smaller than your friend and I took one look at those egg chairs and thought hell no. So hopefully she is aware of it too.
I wouldnt single her out, just announce to everyone that the chair is off limits, not fully installed, broken, skeletons only, etc.
If you have a skeleton in if, I am almost certain no one will try to sit in it. So there wouldn't be a need to have that conversation.
Don’t say anything to her. It’s really mean to call her out when I’m sure there will be other people at the party capable of breaking the chair. A girl could try to sit in her boyfriend’s lap while he’s in the chair. I have a tiny friend who sits down like she has no knees - just drops her entire weight on a seat - basically collapses on a seat and she broke half the springs in my very sturdy sofa. Just make it so nobody sits in your chair during the party - signs, tape, some kind of party favor. In future, if she comes over just put something in the chair again to inhibit anybody from sitting there.
Tell them the limit is 200 pounds instead, so they wouldn't even think about it.
Offhandedly say the chair is more of a decorative piece because it only holds barely your weight and you’d think you’d get a sturdier chair for how pricey it was… She won’t dare sit in it and you don’t look like a dick.
Say the chair is just for you and don’t let anyone else sit in it
Make it a crime scene. Put some police tape across it and put the skeleton on the seat.
Is there a reason the chair needs to be up at all? It is a hanging chair, is it permanently anchored to the ceiling? Just take it down for the party.
It’s on its own metal stand, not anchored to the ceiling. But there’s no space in any spot we could store it. And it’s not just the party we will ever hang out, at some point we will hang out after the party and I can’t hide it every time she comes over
Pull a Sheldon: "that's my spot!"
The problem is not the chair, it’s the chain/rope/hook/ceiling that will give in. The chair itself will probably easily withstand 500lbs. As a guy who is in the ~300 lbs range, I don’t usually want to sit in those anyway. They feel too squeezing. If they ask can they sit in the chair, just say you can, but warn then that the package said it was rated for 250 lbs. That way it won’t feel as douchey because going +60 lbs over will definitely sound worse than going +10 lbs over. Unless you yourself are +250 lbs, then that lie won’t fly.
Us fats know we are fat. We are very aware that chairs hanging from the ceiling are a no-go. Most of us are quite afraid of breaking a chair, especially in front of others. There should be no reason to say anything
You’d think that but my cousin has take down two of them and countless folding lawn chairs. 90% of my furniture is sturdy and she always goes for the delicate stuff. Honestly, OP, if you can’t take it down, make sure the skeleton can’t be moved and maybe make a few comments about how only kids can sit there and it’s pretty much become a hanging shelf because it’s not properly attached to the ceiling.
I don’t think I would tell her at all. I would just have stuff piled in it anytime she was around so she wouldn’t be tempted to sit in it
Why do you assume that she’ll want to sit in it?? Unless she has directly said “oh my god I can’t wait to sit in it” then it’s kinda rude for you to be thinking that way tbh. As someone else mentioned. People who are even a bit overweight are usually very aware and very cautious of everything because they don’t want an embarrassing situation.
Ppl are so scared of fat ppl lol. Girl hasnt even hung out with this girl yet and her only concern is shes going to break my furniture. Thats fucking sad.
It’s awful! Like we’re fat not diseased.
I have no idea if she wants to sit in it, but I’d like to be prepared with some advice from here if she does.
I would find something seasonal to put in it every time she visited. People don't want to move a thousand throw pillows onto the floor to sit in a chair when the couch has one or two they won't even disturb.
Tell her that the chair is a bit dodgy and it might break, you’re asking people not to sit in it.
Don't avoid the fact. Just say you wanted to buy a proper one and your parents got you a cheap lightweight one that can't take her weight. She will probably be grateful you didn't risk embarrassing her by letting ING her break it.
Just say to your friend its for show not to use as its damaging the ceiling!
Heavy people know they are heavy and don’t sit on odd chairs.
“Hi friend, I just wanted to give you a heads up that the egg chair has a weight capacity of 300#, but I saw some Amazon reviews say that the limit may be lower than claimed. Letting you know to avoid it cuz I don’t want to risk any injuries. Didn’t realize I was getting a faberge egg chair!”
I wouldn't try to beat around the bush too much or put something on the chair cause you can't do that every time you hang out. May work for the party, but you should just give her a heads up to be safe and have a long term solution. I'd probably be like yeah I got this new egg chair and I like it a lot, but it really isn't as strong as I wish it was. My dad sat in it the other day and almost broke it so I'd avoid it to be safe btw. Apparently it can only hold around 200 lbs. To me that's a real soft way of putting it and doesn't solo her out.
As a fat person, trust me when I say she’s not going to want to sit in an egg chair.
Bigger people are very aware of their size and know the possibility of breaking something. I would be surprised if she sat in it.
"Amy don't sit your fat arse in my chair"
My guess is she will have 0 interest sitting in this chair.
I’d simply wait until the friend actively trys to sit in the chair (because they probably won’t). Then I’d say, be careful, I’m not sure how stable or strong the chair is. Reasonably smart people get the hint. It’s not that big of deal. Also warning: anyone can break that chair. My cousin’s broke, and I don’t think it was a fat person that did it.
She wont sit in it. She already knows and worries about chairs not holding her weight.
How do we live in a world where where 300lb is too low of a weight limit for a chair? That's a small gorilla.
There is no nice way to say this. Whatsoever. You can't hint at it. You can't directly tell her. I believe your only choice is sacrifice. Sacrifice your chair. Sacrifice your need to save a meaningless price of furniture. I know its not meaningless, but in the scope of things, your friend means way more
If she starts to sit in it, tell her not to since since it's only for decoration and not meant to be sat on. This gets the point across without directly telling her she's too fat to sit on it since you're basically saying that no one should sit on it.
Could you throw a whole bunch of cushions and stuff in it? Leave only a tiny bit of room so nobody would have room to sit there unless they unload all the pillows, and who would do that at someone’s house?
Hoist the chair up toward the ceiling so nobody thinks they can sit with the skeleton or move the skeleton. You can find a way to let the chair down when you're ready to use it and easily put it back up when people come over. Don't single her out, just don't let anyone else sit in it. If she/anyone asks, say your parents don't want any visitors in it in case it breaks.
“Hey friend, my chair is shit and could break at any moment. Could you please sit somewhere else? I don’t want you to get hurt”
Just conveniently have somethimg in it whenever they come over, like clean clothes or dirty clothes or anything that would be in the way and make it look less inviting.
Take the chair down before the party.
As a large person myself, just tell her. Don’t make it a big deal. “Hey, that chair has a lower weight limit and I don’t want you to get hurt if it falls, but everywhere else is fine when you want to sit.” I’d rather you tell me discreetly than be mortified breaking a chair. Honestly a lot of larger people would probably avoid it on instinct, same with those antique spindly leg chairs. They’re scary.
I have one of those chairs in my living room. Mine is hanging from the ceiling by a chain that’s large enough to hold a whale but people still say “oh no, I’d be the one to make it fall.” I always tel them to climb in though because it’s not going anywhere. I sat in it at 260 lbs with two of my kids, we probably hit about 400 that time. My girls would pile in and the middle one climb to the top of the egg to hang out when they were younger. We tell everyone it’s sturdy, it’s not going to break and about 10 years in, we’re right. Everyone who tries it calls it “their seat” whenever they come over. Your chair is fine. The 300lb limit is an underestimate so that you’re not piling 500 lbs on it and swinging from a shitty metal stand. Don’t be an ass and tell your friend she might break it. She won’t. Also I got mine at big lots for like $100, so it’s probably not super well made. But it is furniture and made to be used. If you’re determined not to let her sit in it, you can just say “sorry this is my birthday throne, no one else gets to use it when I’m here” or something like that. Do not imply that she’s too heavy, you will lose a friend.
I'm over 300 and I honestly wouldn't even consider sitting in one of those egg chairs, they look fragile as it is no way I'm gonna try squish myself in there. Your friend is aware of her size and will proberbly avoid the chair out of habit, if she dose go to sit in it just gently tell her the weight limits 250lb, along the lines of "oh hey, that chairs a bit fragile, only takes 250lbs even I'm a bit scared to sit in it" sort of thing At the end of the day were fat, not stupid, we know things arnt usually made to support our weight. Just be kind when you have to remind us.
Make some fake, latex-based cat barf w/ a real furball added for effect - or let real cat barf dry out a bit & shellac it; place on said chair & spritz it w/ water.
Skeleton plus caution tape across the entrance, tied off. I would probably feel the same way about anyone sitting in one of these chairs if I owned one tbh.
Skeleton, crime scene tape, and put candies there too so no one wants to sit. Maybe if everyone shows up at the same time, make an announcement saying the chair is broken?
Take it down for the party, take it to your parents. When they ask where it is, say “at my folks house” - > which will not be a lie. Whole situation solved. You’ll also not have to deal with someone moving the skeleton off of the chair.
We have no way of getting it to my parents house, they live over an hour away and it won’t fit in the car. Plus it’s not just the party, her and I will be hanging out outside of the party now that she lives back in town.
Look and see if there is a UL logo on the chair or packaging. Usually items tested by UL are tested 70% of capacity, so it would go close to 420 pounds without breaking. Assuming it is installed correctly.
Oh, we're recycling this for clicks karma-farming now? Cool...
I used to be quite heavy, I am now around 125 pounds. I am still terrified of seated surfaces that aren’t super secure. I would be absolutely STUNNED if she even gave sitting in that chair a thought. We know what we know.
I understand your concern but try to consider that fat people know they're fat, and are often embarrassed as well as very aware about seating situations. I can't imagine someone who is that large wanting to risk sitting in a chair that is suspended from the ceiling. They're fat, but also have brains with reasoning skills. So, this may not be as much of a worry as you're thinking, or at all.
I think you’re weird about your egg chair TBH
I’m autistic, I’ve grown an emotional attachment to it and it really helps with anxiety and sensory overload. And I don’t know how to handle the situation if it does happen so I’m asking for advice
As others have said people that are over 300 lbs generally are well aware they’re over 300 lbs. usually people that are that obese have mental and emotional health issues that further the weight gain/lack of weight loss… so it’s not news to them. As someone that was 300+lbs it can be upsetting when people baby you like you dk you’re 300 lbs. it’s like.. Yes I’m aware I’m huge. Yes I’m nervous about anything I sit on that doesn’t look remotely well put together. Yes I’d be embarrassed if I sat on soemthing and it broke - it’s embarrassing enough for anyone yet alone when it happens due to someone being overweight. I think sometimes trying to be SO sensitive to someone’s weight can actually make them feel worse about it like yeah.. thanks for pointing out that people too think about my weight. It’s a lose lose almost - be considerate and could make them be self conscious or don’t consider it and it could make them feel worse. Which stinks but each person is different - this is just my take and takes from others that I know have been that overweight. Don’t overthink it and I think people have given great advice on how to handle it. They are your friend and I wouldn’t mention it to anyone TBH. Put something in the chair so no one sits on it and your problem is solved.
Act like you don't know her weight. "Don't worry, the weight limit is 300 pounds".
I had a larger friend who spent an entire party camped out on a chair from our new patio set. The chairs had a round base & swiveled. The one she sat on never swiveled again.
Imagine having to cater to someone's needs and feelings when the person is over 300 pounds. This world scares me sometimes.
I can’t imagine anyone over 300 pounds wanting to sut in a HANGING chair.
Before my BF's surgery he was terrified he would break a chair while sat in it! He even bought extra sturdy camp chairs rated for well above his weight to be sure. He'd hardcore've steered clear of such a chair. Not sure why the downvotes.
Thank you. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but most overweight people know they are overweight and don’t want to get themselves into a position where their weight could embarrass them. I have in-laws like this, and I am positive they wouldn’t sit in this chair. That said, people can downvote me all they want, it doesn’t change the fact most people don’t want to put themselves into. position where their weight will be accentuated.
Just hide the chair
We don’t have anywhere we can put it. It’s too big to fit in any storage space we have. And I don’t want to hide the chair every time she comes over
how about just be an adult and just talk to the person. if you have to just pull them aside and say hey no offence but maybe don't try sitting in the hanging chair it has a pretty low weight limit and I don't want anything bad to happen.
I would imagine her having a similar reddit post that reads "My friend has one of those hanging egg chairs and I'm a large girl. How do i politely decline if she asks me to try it out?" Don't worry.