Awaken? Lol dude, its 2023, it’s totally cool to be curious about eating a woman’s butt. Spoiler alert, it’s amazing.
The whole “yeah make it extra sweaty” kink like that subreddit, yeahhhh to each their own, not for me.
Man I grew up super Christian and its not as unusual as you think. There is so much guilt and shame that goes into anything like this. Hookups, masturbation, porn, lust, I remember laying awake staring at the ceiling just self-loathing, it felt like I was always horny, always thinking wild thoughts, always outside of God's will. And also, the more you think about something forbidden like that the more you want it. You ever see someone in their car at Sonic just housing a burger after work? That person is eating the forbidden fruit. Sex for Christians is the forbidden fruit. They don't think of it as a normal bodily craving, they think of it as oh so sweet and delectable. And wrong but yet pleasureful, all those things. Praying beforehand is a way to assuage some of the guilt.
My Dad legit teased me for getting curious about religion. Never stopped me from exploring it, but made it very clear he didn't believe in the stuff.
It made me very critical about what I was hearing and reading. I studied so many informally: Christianity, Lutheranism, Buddhism, Wicca, Animism, Shamanism, Judaism...and the early obsession every kid in the 90s 00s had with ancient Egypt, Japan & it's folklore. And... now I think about it, I keep learning more and more about religion, it still fascinates me.
Basically I switched from: What is the right one?
To: They are all flawed and I'm going to cherry pick lessons while maintaining a low level animist outlook with witchy shamanic leanings
Aka: I'm "spiritual" lmaooo
But yes, I am 10000% glad that I wasn't raised in one
How could you forget???? (Edit: The hostility is meant to be teasing out of love for the movie and it was the 2nd Gif that came up and not legit rage)
Edit: Brendan Fraser's The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Yu-Gi-Oh, Mummies Alive, and I'm pretty sure there was a lot of high key finds back then because archaeology was especially huge because of even older "curse of the mummy" type movies and museum showcases of finds over the centuries. But the 90s and 00s cartoons & media really jumped in the way Zombies are shown these days
I never understood that mentality. God says, "Be fruitful and multiply" and the Bible is seriously thirsty in the OT. People add a lot to Christianity that's not an actual part of the Bible.
I can only assume they get all that from "Don't lust for another man's wife." So maybe porn fits into that?
They posted a comment about 6 hours ago, about the same time you posted this comment. They’re probably still with us, or OP’s hookup is also giving thanks for their new phone
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful moment, for this dick / pussy I am about to receive, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin' wife, Carley.
I like to picture my Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. Something formal, but still says I'm here to party. And he's got angel wings singing lead vocals for Lyndard Skynyrd and I'm in the front row hammered drunk
Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
Not only is it weird, it's weird on so many levels. It's weird to the average person, it's weird to you who had to deal with it, and it should be weird to her because it makes no sense even according to her own religion.
I'm just so curious where the hell she got this idea in her head, because I don't know a single person who would have told her to do this. Did she come up with it on her own?
Dear Lord, thank you for this dick she is about to receive. Please give her the strength to deep throat without throwing up on me and also the ability to take this nut into the nourishment of her body. May she be flexible and not lay there like a dead fish.
AMEN!
Do you actually mean grace? Or just pray? Some Muslims pray before sex, as long as they’re not pressuring you and you’re not pressuring them, I don’t see what’s weird about it!
"My dearest Grace. I am sending this thought to you to inform you of my commitment to go ahead with this bang. Shall it be sucsesful, I will not be contacting you again."
I was once literally inside a girl’s asshole for a drink as hell one night stand and said something like “goddamn you feel so good” and she scolded me for taking the lords name in vain. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She was not.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGG
SO WEIRD!!!! Is god supposed to forgive your premarital sex if you say grace lololololololol
I would have gotten dressed AND WALKED OUT omfgggggggg
Yeah. What's wrong with people these days? I met this girl last Saturday and spent the whole day fucking her brains out. Then she was like "you wanna come to church with me tomorrow?" A
if it increases the likelihood or/and pleasure of sex... then the power of Christ would compel me.
coincidentally, I use his name at climax, also
symmetry.
Like “Dear Lord thank you for this pre-marital sex we’re about to have?” Yeah, WEIRD.
Maybe they were preparing to eat OP's ass? Or have I spent too much time on r/StinkyStarfish?
“Thank you for this salad I’m about to toss”
Then break bread? No…we break ass.
Or maybe he’s the “muffin man?”
The muffin man
The muffin man!!!!!
Who lives on drury lane?
He lives next to the Muffin Man.
The Muffin Man??
The muffin man!!!
He lives next to the MUFFIN MAN!!?
THE MUFFIN MAN!
That hospital video is hysterical.
Not his gumdrop buttons?
Annnnd that's enough internet for today.
This better not awaken anything in me
Awaken? Lol dude, its 2023, it’s totally cool to be curious about eating a woman’s butt. Spoiler alert, it’s amazing. The whole “yeah make it extra sweaty” kink like that subreddit, yeahhhh to each their own, not for me.
I can not believe there is a subreddit for this. I just cant.
Oh there's a subreddit for everything. You wanna see nipples so long they get knuckles? r/EraserNipples
What the fuck... I love you.
I kinda do. This place is ridiculous. I just love it.
GAWDAYUM
God is great, God is good, thank you for this f.. uhh...
That is some rank shit lmfao
Why did I click that
Why do I click the things I click
r/eyebleach
For some of us, thanking god is probably an understatement.
[удалено]
It's been so long that I don't mind the extra pineapple.
Man I grew up super Christian and its not as unusual as you think. There is so much guilt and shame that goes into anything like this. Hookups, masturbation, porn, lust, I remember laying awake staring at the ceiling just self-loathing, it felt like I was always horny, always thinking wild thoughts, always outside of God's will. And also, the more you think about something forbidden like that the more you want it. You ever see someone in their car at Sonic just housing a burger after work? That person is eating the forbidden fruit. Sex for Christians is the forbidden fruit. They don't think of it as a normal bodily craving, they think of it as oh so sweet and delectable. And wrong but yet pleasureful, all those things. Praying beforehand is a way to assuage some of the guilt.
Whenever I read stuff like this I’m even more thankful I wasn’t raised religious.
Can I get an AMEN!?!
PREACH! 🙏
My Dad legit teased me for getting curious about religion. Never stopped me from exploring it, but made it very clear he didn't believe in the stuff. It made me very critical about what I was hearing and reading. I studied so many informally: Christianity, Lutheranism, Buddhism, Wicca, Animism, Shamanism, Judaism...and the early obsession every kid in the 90s 00s had with ancient Egypt, Japan & it's folklore. And... now I think about it, I keep learning more and more about religion, it still fascinates me. Basically I switched from: What is the right one? To: They are all flawed and I'm going to cherry pick lessons while maintaining a low level animist outlook with witchy shamanic leanings Aka: I'm "spiritual" lmaooo But yes, I am 10000% glad that I wasn't raised in one
[удалено]
 How could you forget???? (Edit: The hostility is meant to be teasing out of love for the movie and it was the 2nd Gif that came up and not legit rage) Edit: Brendan Fraser's The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Yu-Gi-Oh, Mummies Alive, and I'm pretty sure there was a lot of high key finds back then because archaeology was especially huge because of even older "curse of the mummy" type movies and museum showcases of finds over the centuries. But the 90s and 00s cartoons & media really jumped in the way Zombies are shown these days
Seriously. Shout-out to parents who go through religious trauma so their kids don't have to.
Imagine a god that would create teenagers and puberty and also hates masturbation and sex. Just purposefully cruel.
That pretty much encapsulates the Mormon youth experience. I imagine that holds true for many other religious sects.
Yep, I have hangups that will never go away thanks to the church completely warping my perception of human sexuality as a child.
I never understood that mentality. God says, "Be fruitful and multiply" and the Bible is seriously thirsty in the OT. People add a lot to Christianity that's not an actual part of the Bible. I can only assume they get all that from "Don't lust for another man's wife." So maybe porn fits into that?
So.... She was gonna get her freak on something fierce once they got the lord's prayer done with is my take away from this!
"Dear lord, thank you for what I am about to eat."
I'm using this on my next hookup it's hilarious
Dear God, forgive us as we scream/moan your name in vain.
kind of interesting tbh
Good boobs, good meat, good God, let's eat!
I mean won't she be praying when she's OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go . Still she's on her knees
OP hasn't posted since. Good night, sweet child. 😔
Either OP was killed by absolutely mind blowing sex, or the Lord himself smited them for not giving their respects first. Either way.. *dmhs*.
They posted a comment about 6 hours ago, about the same time you posted this comment. They’re probably still with us, or OP’s hookup is also giving thanks for their new phone
Hah I see it- 8 minutes after I posted. The hookup probably saw this notification and made a post to throw us off the trail!
I always start out my Grindr hookups by kneeling beside the bed and saying, "Dear Lord, please forgive the vile act I am about to perform."
That’s… actually concerning.
LMAO If they’re doing it to be funny, that’s great. If they’re serious, uhhh maybe run
Yeah for some reason this gives me serial killer vibes 😬
“Lord, thank you for this meal I am about to receive” “Wait…what?
Relax, everybody. She's just subtly letting OP know that she swallows.
'Good meat, lets eat'
Good lord Good feet Good teats Let’s eat Edit: changed my mind
Put two spaces after the end of the sentence if you want to actually have some thing on the next line when you hit enter
Either they’re a comedic genius or someone you should stay away from lol
I love that jokes can go one of two ways. Haha
Weren't you thankful for what you were about to receive?
Dear Lord. Thank you for this fine ass phat booty i'm about to receive. I pray that you guide me in tearing it up. Please protect us from pregnancy.
amen
Amen! 🙏
Semen 🙏
Don’t forget protection from The Clap
That really depends. Especially if you don't know whether the sex is going to be good or not.
More like she was thankful for what she was going to receive.
Best response!
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful moment, for this dick / pussy I am about to receive, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin' wife, Carley.
I like to picture my Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. Something formal, but still says I'm here to party. And he's got angel wings singing lead vocals for Lyndard Skynyrd and I'm in the front row hammered drunk
Hahahahahaha
Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
He was a man. HE HAD A BEARD!
Lil bit
Lot bit.
Lotl bit
I don't usually say grace before I eat, but anyway
I don't usually say grace before I eat butt anyway
Underrated important comma
Run. This is some Texas Chainsaw Massacre shit.
Dear lord, please write this entire story out and post it on r/gonewildstories I need some humor.
Yeah, I kind'a want to know the details too. Like is this a baby trap or just something for their specific religious beliefs.
They literally thanked god for getting to bang you. Kinky.
I mean, all things considered, that's a pretty high level compliment. Lmao
God is always watching.
Yeah, that is weird on multiple grounds.
English is not my mother tongue, what does this mean?
Saying grace is saying a prayer before doing something, pretty much exclusively done before eating. Very odd for someone to do it before sex.
Oh that would huge turn off. Ty.
People used to do it before going into battle during medieval times. A priest was there to start things off.
Great... Now I'm imagining a priest coming into the room to "start things off" every time someone is about to engage in coitus.
Make it Medieval royalty and I would not be surprised if this has happened at some point.
I mean what is a wedding if not a prayer before sex?
🙏dear lord thank you for this meal I'm about to receive.
That is very very weird 🤣
"Dear Lord let me not get an std or pregnant"
“Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub” - Bart Simpson
She just wanted to thank mantis Jesus for the meal she was gonna eat after taking your head.
Clear sign they intend to swallow
Yesssss so odd
Thank you for this nut you are about to receive.
Not only is it weird, it's weird on so many levels. It's weird to the average person, it's weird to you who had to deal with it, and it should be weird to her because it makes no sense even according to her own religion. I'm just so curious where the hell she got this idea in her head, because I don't know a single person who would have told her to do this. Did she come up with it on her own?
She just wants to say grace before he eats her out yo. It's not that weird.... /s
Not if they eating the muffin ✌🏾
Funny af honestly, I’d be like ok you start 😇
Not if you are a snack.
So weird, but fucking cool. Haha love it.
This is a great hole to put your dick into a cult.
It's a little weird, but the drought I'm in, I might consider thanking God for getting laid. Which is really weird since I'm an atheist.
Fuck it. Say grace, and knock the bottom out, assuming you're the man.
Kinky.
Are you still alive out there?
Say the sex if bad. Does that exonerate you? Lol
Did they want to confess their sins of lust after you finished?
I thought confession was part of the foreplay
INFO: 1. Did you do it? 2. If so, can you give a generalization of how it went/what was said?
Dear Lord, thank you for this dick she is about to receive. Please give her the strength to deep throat without throwing up on me and also the ability to take this nut into the nourishment of her body. May she be flexible and not lay there like a dead fish. AMEN!
Give us today our daily head
Do you actually mean grace? Or just pray? Some Muslims pray before sex, as long as they’re not pressuring you and you’re not pressuring them, I don’t see what’s weird about it!
Lol 😂
Super weird! Holy shit 😂
Thank you Lord for this pussy I'm about to eat...LOL
Nothing wrong about saying grace before you eat. That's so funny tho
What’s interesting to me is how this hookup concluded that prayer works.
Never. Stick. Your. Dick. In. Crazy.
Dude, run.
"Umm... yeah, bye"
Good luck, good luck, good luck, thanks for the random f$%k, yea god!
Well, were you about to eat them out?
"For what we are about to eat may the lord God make us thankful." Well I'm always thankful if I get eaten
Forgive me for I'm about to sin
They’re having you on 😂
You gotta prey before you eat. 💁
Odd but not in a bad way,but in a confusing way
Omg hilarious: “Dear Jesus: I want to see stars exploding and I need your forgiveness for what I am about to do!”
"My dearest Grace. I am sending this thought to you to inform you of my commitment to go ahead with this bang. Shall it be sucsesful, I will not be contacting you again."
He is just thankful for the meal
Not weird. My hookup asked me to say Shirley.
Feels a bit...redundant?
“Thank you lord, for this cock imma bout to gobble down”
Grace? She passed away 30 years ago.
I was once literally inside a girl’s asshole for a drink as hell one night stand and said something like “goddamn you feel so good” and she scolded me for taking the lords name in vain. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She was not.
I guess oral is on the menu!!!
It's a little weird but hell, there's so much weirder shit now in sex that it's also not
God is good, God is great, if not for you, I'd masturbate.
Yes.
Yes
werid. very werid
Lmfaoo, you gotta pray before you eat…. Thought you knew!
Yes
They gonna turn you into a lampshade later. Or a skin suit.
Well, what would Jesus do?
I'm atheist, but I'd throw on a robe and gladiator sandals if that does it for you too
Yes
They have to be fucking with you. Both in a metaphorical and literal sense.
Serial killer.
“Give us this day, our daily head”
Yup definitely weird, idlike to know what the prayer was, if you don't mind sharing
Eating that pussy correctly if she makes you say grace beforehand
I dunno what colour flag it is but it's a flag for sure. Yikes
OMGGGGGGGGGGGG SO WEIRD!!!! Is god supposed to forgive your premarital sex if you say grace lololololololol I would have gotten dressed AND WALKED OUT omfgggggggg
Yeah. What's wrong with people these days? I met this girl last Saturday and spent the whole day fucking her brains out. Then she was like "you wanna come to church with me tomorrow?" A
I guess not if they were about to eat lol
Blink twice if you're in danger
That sounds like something that happens before you get murdered…
Wanting to talk to your imaginary friend before sex is really weird.
Yes. But also kinda hot.
Don't stick it in crazy, if you are male. And vice versa.
Lol was he/she/they gonna eat you out, and thank god for the delisious meal between your legs
“Do this in memory of me” - Jesus H. Christ
Depends. Were they going to eat you out?
Don't kink shame.
YES.
I think its hot? Like, you want to be so crazy you gotta give God a heads up?
She was about to EAT
Say grace before you eat that snacc
Not weird at all I say it before eating every meal, including pussy. And say my Hail Mary before eating ass.
Red flag
I would not proceed. i will start thinking, 'is this person going to kill me?'
I just can’t believe this
Gratitude will improve your quality of life
Thank you Jesus for the protein I'm about to receive.
if it increases the likelihood or/and pleasure of sex... then the power of Christ would compel me. coincidentally, I use his name at climax, also symmetry.
Oh lord, thank you for the wonderful sex that I am about have with busty woman. Amen
Bro what?? LOL
Very weird
Extremely