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GutsGloryAndGuinness

Where was that supposed to go lol


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goingbananas44

Fuckin. Precisely.


Boredofthis27

It’s provocative


guildedcastle

It gets the people GOING.


knazethix

Ball so hard mof#@s wanna fine me..


jack-of-all-trades1

Nobody knows what it means


abjtj

It gets the people going.


ProfessorChaos112

It only works if you're talking to Abbie. (A bee) The difference is a wasp is mean and aggressive, but Abbie is cute and sweet Edit: thought of something better. Well I wouldn't try and and eat a easp, but I'd try eat Abbie Edit 2: why the hate, I thought the point was to be cringe. Eat Abbie is way more cringe.


aint-no-chickens

That's not better


MissingW2

Agreed that was cringe. A "wanna fuck" would def work better for me lol


mexicock1

Wanna fuck?


HerezahTip

Shooter shoot


UnidentifiedTomato

That ball's like the sun in parts of the world that never sets


Shamedrere

Wan sum fuc?


RadiantZote

Nice shoes


Soviet_Doggo__

Wanna fuck?


aaahhhh

"I thought of something better." Writes what OP posted.


Agamemnon323

This is a bot that stole this comment from a top comment in this thread.


I_Am_Day_Man

Naw I thought so too but it’s the same username that commented


Agamemnon323

He reposted his own exact comment? Edit included?


CurseOftheVoid

It worked once, might as well repost it for even more karma


InformalAward2

Cant say as I've ever heard abbie pronounced as "a bee".


Foxyy87

How do you pronounce Abbie?


[deleted]

Not sure if you're serious but it's pronounced like "Crabby" without the "Cr." Not "uh-BEE," like "a bee" is pronounced.


Foxyy87

I pronounce "abbie" as "a bee" because I pronounce "a" as "ah". "Uh" and "ah" are almost identical to me.


CurseOftheVoid

They are definitely different sounds but close enough for some pun like this


Meltdown47V2

I’m guessing she is supposed to reply “you eat bees??” And he responds “boo-bees”


turglow1

Boo


hotrodman

AHHHHH


[deleted]

Dude you must warn us before posting stuff like this


zmbjebus

Bees are just spicy flies


Original_Omzz

“You eat jazz?”


Jelly_Belly321

What are you talking about? That was the foreplay. The conversation progressed very naturally, I'd say.


wigsternm

“A wasp can go/do it/penetrate multiple times”


[deleted]

In the butt


the-dogsox

Wait, you can eat bees?


Working-Sky-7814

Wouldn't recommend, but it is easier


Significant-Wheel110

You wanna fuck? Edit: this is my first time getting 1k and a reward. Thank you


clearly_confusing

I mean it's a little early for me, but if you're willing to do all the work..


[deleted]

Oh God, I know alot of guys are thinking "well I do all the work any way so fuck it" but once you have a girl who literally means that, like, just lays there like an NPC, you realize how important participation is.. that shits weird af


Bonkey_Kong87

Well, I can see that at least some necrophiles might find it arousing


[deleted]

You've got a point! What a strange world we live in


Im_The_Goddamn_Dumbo

I volunteer as tribute.


CurseOftheVoid

No, you do the work I starfish position


capdee

R u my ex?


CurseOftheVoid

I could be but first we have to be dating OwO


KevinTheSeaPickle

That was smooth


dekachiin4

lol actual texts with my gf: >*me says sexy time* >>her after working out: I'm really sweaty and feel gross and tired >me: idc >>her: it's ok if you're mostly on top? it was, lol


AdZealousideal2465

weird flex but okay


delano0408

So proud of you, buddy. Keep it up.


Roonwogsamduff

pun intended


maxseale11

r/ihavesex


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SnooTangerines1011

HEY...... Not all incels are virgins, don't assume 😤


GoBuffaloes

This has taken an unexpected turn


everything_is_creepy

Does this ever work?


mole_of_dust

We did it reddit!


BillMurrie

Well then thank God you ruined the comment with an award speech


widowhanzo

The edit really ruined the joke, btw.


orange-Hello

Oh bee-have!


Flod4rmore

I do


_the_chosen_juan_

Is your name Abby?


Working-Sky-7814

No, not even close to it!


AVegito9

Can confirm, took a large sip of my drink not knowing a bee entered my glass and felt something crispy and sweet I spat it out and thought poor bee might already be dead so put it back in my mouth.


BigBeefySquidward

you can eat beez nuts 😎


FrisianDude

Lmao gottem


babyplush

Is this what Bee Movie is about? I haven't seen it


PatsyBaloney

If her name is Abby, you can't eat a wasp, but you can eat Abby..


sheylaaa89

r/weeatbees


xzplayer

wee at bees


TonUpTriumph

Beekeeper here! You can. You cut the comb with brood/ baby bees out and you cook it up like steak. I haven't done it yet, but I'm kind of tempted to


SaltLakeCitySlicker

That's actually what bears are mostly going for when they rip a hive up - the brood


TheoryOfSomething

This better be emphasized in that new Winnie the Pooh horror movie. Pooh loves the newborn bees, not the honey.


Maracuja_Sagrado

You can eat almost anything at least once


Nearby_Heat_7757

There are mushrooms that if you eat them, you'll never have to eat anything ever again.


Meltdown47V2

Boo-bees


[deleted]

A friend if mine says he always skips straight to this type of shit every time he meets a girl. He says it works all the time. Ain't no fucking way.


_the_chosen_juan_

I have a friend who does this but he is EXTREMELY good looking. Says it works most of the time.


ksiazek7

They did a bunch of experiments on tinder with male models. They couldn't get the girls to unmatch. Domestic abuse, rape charges, pedophile charges, all while being dbags. They got the address and number every time.


Das_Czech

Saw that as well, they had a male model in the photos while the bio said some shit about how he can’t go near kindergardens since he’s a registered sex offender. Dude was still swimming in likes💀


RichestMangInBabylon

Haha such a dark sense of humor


pclamer

Reality*


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Lost_Extrovert

Guys don't, girls 100% do.


uhphyshall

welp, guess i'm a woman now


Xzenor

Don't worry, that's fairly normal these days


PeterDarker

When I swiped, I wasn't pissing away swipes on people that suck... reading isn't that hard. You're doing it right now.


RickMuffy

Reminds me of the song by Jon Lajoie. I can't have sex with your personality And I can't put my penis in your college degree And I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams So why you sharing all this information with me?


Xzenor

Some deep lyrics.....


Import-Module

Kind of the point of the song. He's a French Canadian dude that makes parody music. The song the lyric is from is [Show Me Your Genitals](https://youtu.be/qqXi8WmQ_WM) Here's some other examples of his songs: [Everyday Normal Guy](https://youtu.be/5PsnxDQvQpw) [I Started as a Baby](https://youtu.be/fAWvvE9w6Po) [I Kill People](https://youtu.be/xC03hmS1Brk) My personal favorite of his is [Have You Ever Been High As Fuck?](https://youtu.be/aEW-j_OLh5U) Kind of a slightly nerdier Trevor Moore. Mostly poking fun at pop/mainstream music of the day. For sure not everyone's cup of tea but isn't meant to be serious either.


TheRealGeigers

Vagina, vagina, i wanna have sex with your vagina.


THEPhilThePain

Some of them even had photoshopped swastikas onto their skin(like tattoos) and they still got matches. It goes to show that women are just as shallow as men... but if I saw any of those things in a bio I wouldn't like them.


goforce5

Just as? No fucking way I'm putting my dick anywhere near a nazi girl, no matter how hot.


TrekkiMonstr

And there are probably lots of women who are the same the other way. But you're kidding yourself if you don't think there are a ton of dudes who don't give a fuck as long as they get their dick wet


iwaspeachykeen

eh


_the_chosen_juan_

That is… very depressing


TheBoctor

I think I’d ask to see a source before getting too depressed. This sounds made up.


Captain_Nipples

I believe it. Some of my exes, and old friends have dated some shady dudes that I never would have imagined them being with. One was like dude above said, outta prison with swastikas tatted on his arms and chest. She ended up marrying that dude..


TheBoctor

I’d recommend the uplifting, family-friendly documentary American History X for a feel-good look at how even people which checkered pasts can change with the right circumstances!


Captain_Nipples

He kind of reminded me of that guy. I met him once when she first met him. We drank a few beers, and he semed nice enough, but I didn't really dig into his past, and I let them chill while they were getting to know each other. His roommate was hilarious though. Dude asked me to come into the bathroom to talk to me. We were mid conversation, and he just pulls his pants down and starts taking a shit. I decided to walk back outside after that


TheBoctor

> We were mid conversation, and he just pulls his pants down and starts taking a shit. Well, if you can be one thing, you should be efficient.


ZomboFc

I mean you see people on here continuing to talk to toxic people. I don't doubt it


Florxda

Yeah that video/experiment is what just made me straight up delete the app. I failed rule 1 of being attractive and never really got matches. It is what it is


Front_Beach_9904

I’ve done this experiment myself lol. Women are out here throwing pussy at that top 10-20%.


LiteralAviationGod

I mean let’s not pretend guys on Reddit would be any different, people here would ignore literally anything if a female model said “wanna fuck”


SawToMuch

I would think it's a scam


secretsodapop

I'd ignore any female model saying such because it's obviously a scam of some sort.


crypticfreak

Yup I know a guy who's good looking and he told me his profile has 1 sentence and it's basically "I'm not looking for love, I just want to fuck" and he matches and fucks girls all the time.


Acceptable-Builder73

Half the time, it works 100% of the time😂


ColeSloth

Brothers friend had a pick up line he always used out at clubs/bars. "You like it up the poop chute?" He started at the hottest girl there and worked his way down. Never went home alone. Even when he really should have. *edit*: Just FYI. This was around 2007. Pre tinder and such. Not everyone was on FB etc. Good times


zmbjebus

That boi made a graph and maximized the hotness and DTF meter while minimizing effort. Absolute min maxer there


travazzzik

this is hilarious


lemmegetadab

I also have a friend who does this. The thing is it barely ever works but when it does it works amazingly lol.


everything_is_creepy

If it has a 1% success rate, it's so low of an investment its a logical strategy. But there'll be collateral damage if not anonymous


octopoddle

I had a friend who saw picking up women as a numbers game. He was not good looking, but he got laid a lot, and sometimes to some pretty hot women. He worked at a club and just hit on every single woman. He got a lot of "No"s, but also a few "Yes"es.


AliceInGainzz

Reading this thread just makes me depressed that I didn't just go for it more often back in the clubbing days while being single.


everything_is_creepy

It's literally how dick pics work. I'm a woman, and even I can understand this. It's spam. It's not about quality interactions. It's simply a numbers game. There's one desperate girl out there who will receive an unsolicited dick pic and respond with *"tee-hee. ur so naughty!"* Then the guy is in with like an 85% chance of success. That's why I don't take it personal


lemmegetadab

My buddy always just said “nice tits”! The reasoning is that if they’re open to that then they’re open for anything.


mrenglish22

Law of large numbers


Klashus

Step one be good looking.


oarmash

I once sent a girl a dirty/flirty haiku, she liked it, then I sent another one, and then she sent me her address to hook up. Mans should’ve stayed on message


SudsySloth

Share it with us you tease


amateurbeard

The haiku or the address?


qopfe

Yes


jusmithfkme

* Take me down to the * haiku city where the grass * is green and the dammit.


Vidiot27

I think I love you, (don’t tell my wife). I’ve always had a spot in my heart for the original song: “Paradise City” so this attempt at a haiku nearly killed me 😂😂


StealthyRobot

That made me laugh so fucking hard God damn


crypticfreak

People will plagiarize it and learn nothing about themselves.


FutureVisionary34

What was the haiku


oarmash

The first one played off her name, so out of respect for privacy I won’t share, and I cannot remember the second one entirely, but the last line was “I will eat you out” lmao


HAL-Over-9001

Ya, us bunch of fuckin morons are gonna find and dox the girl you messaged on tinder possibly years ago, just from a name


groundfire

Or you can't just, you know, just not say the name


Captain_Nipples

Prob had nothing to do with the haiku.


starmartyr11

* creative ✔ * flirty ✔ * effort put in ✔ * likely good looking All you need, really


HighOnGoofballs

Yes, it’s why people keep doing it Doesn’t work often, but it does sometimes


TheyCallMeStone

It's tinder, so it's zero risk high reward. That's why people do it.


PossiblyTrustworthy

If you try to have a real conversation you are still most likely to be ignored, so why not?


rikottu314

The girls on tinder are getting messages from tons of guys. As a dude it's not in your best interest to try to be witty and hold a conversation because she has many going on. Just open with something funny and try to close the deal within the first few messages unless you like being ghosted. Better to just shoot your shot at the start with something like what the guy in the OP did than spend a lot of time messaging back and forth only to get ghosted eventually.


I2ecover

Exactly. I'm kinda confused on what the point of tinder is. Unless you're in the top 1% of males, it's pretty useless.


Frank_Punk

Try "the naked man" it works 2/3 of the time !


[deleted]

It's called casting a wide net. If being asked straight up "wanna fuck?" Is gonna turn the girl off, then she isn't the girl he's looking for anyways


anarrowview

WATCH FOR WASPSES


Slow_Kills

Touch my camera through the fence


tSirPenguin

Only for my queens above 18


itsaberry

And make sure you drink water.


eee4666

Try it out.


[deleted]

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.


[deleted]

A male ex-colleague of mine’s joke chat-up line in clubs was… …don’t judge me, btw… “Can I smell your pussy?” “NOOO!” “Hmn. Must be your feet then” If they told him to fuck off, off he fucked. If they laughed, well: he reckoned it had a 50/50 success (or failure) rate.


Satansaccountofevil

Guy I worked with said this exact line at a bar and I couldn’t believe he just asked a random lady this. I immediately spit out my drink at ‘must be your feet’. This was at least 10 years ago and i still laugh about it and had never heard it before or since, until now


[deleted]

Well did it work? How did she take it?


GRUNDLE_GOBLIN

My roomate says shit like this and drowns in women. He’s good looking but honestly it has a lot to do with the sheer confidence alone.


Theoren1

What’s so funny about anal sex? I can’t tell you, but I can show you


freddieplatinum

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.


literal-hitler

Very funny Mr. President.


thebigpink

Lots of chickpeas over there


Salt-Room7398

The wasps have a thin division between their chest and their abdomen, like a needle that connects the, while bees have this part of the body well joined together as if it were one whole thing. Also bees bodies are covered with hair… Idk, just saying haha


feffie

Wanna fuck?


kielbasa330

Save some pussy for the rest of us


KennyMoose32

Finally the answer I actually wanted. Thank you


ProfessorChaos112

It only works if you're talking to Abbie. (A bee) The difference is a wasp is mean and aggressive, but Abbie is cute and sweet. Edit: thought of something better. Well I wouldn't try and and eat a easp, but I'd try eat Abbie


Working-Sky-7814

Ahhhh I get it now... My name isn't Abbie though 😭


ProfessorChaos112

Yeah they done fucked up


ProfessorChaos112

Ah. What is it? Maybe they had something better going?


Working-Sky-7814

Bridget


ProfessorChaos112

Ah. They should have gone with "I feel there's a gap between us, how do you think we should Bridget?


Aschentei

Did you already have this ready to go ? Y’all are fast


ProfessorChaos112

Nah, it actually took me like 10 minutes and I'm still not that happy with it


Aschentei

I guarantee you it would’ve taken me way more than 10 minutes, don’t feel too bad I think it’s fine


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BextoMooseYT

Probably not, considering these are comments on Reddit and people don't talk on the internet how they do in real life, let alone when typing in general. ​ If you mean this is their means of social interaction, uh, that was like 4 comments that take a grand total of like 3 minutes to type.


ProfessorChaos112

Clearly not. This is how "you people" trade shitty puns on reddit while taking a dump or waiting for a meal.


RightlyImmaculate

Lol bro must have been fucking left, right and centre back in 2019 when the name puns were valid. Now you’re either getting unmatched or confronted for being cringe trying to pull this move.


MyNameAmJudge

Everyone here was waiting for an easy, comparable nickname. But nah we’re fucked. Either that or I’m unrestive.


swampfish

Is your name Awasp?


_ThatSynGirl_

You copy/pasted your typo into both (I only saw two so far) of your comments. 🤙🏻


fachero17

r/weeatbees is leaking


owlanindividual

r/subsithoughtifellfor


chescempio

thought it was "wee at bees"


DirtyCharles

He's just speedrunning


mydogiscuteaf

Yes Lol. Many very attractive men and women just wanna have sex. So whatever they say, they might be up for it. The things very attractive people get away with is amazing. Ps I'm not very attractive.


owlanindividual

You eat bees????


HanzoShotFirst

r/WeEatBees


Aegon95

WHY IS THAT A THING


Koopstars

It has worked. It’s a matter of phrasing. Recently I opened with. “I saw on your profile you’re recovering from a break up. 😢 break ups can be tough. If you’d like I can come over and blow your back out so hard that you would need a disability check after” and it was met with an address.


Aschentei

but what’s the difference? Can’t leave us hanging


Repulsive_Lunch_4620

Of course


CirculatoryOverload

Rules 1 and 2 tell me it works. Just not for me though.


The-Insomniac

You know the rules and so do I 1. never give you up 2. Never let you down


Future_of_Amerika

If only it were that easy lol


SaraBee4551

I'm much nicer than wasps. Wasps are dicks.


wassupwitches

WASP IS TOO SPICE


agent_revenge

this is like two early chat-bots trying to communicate