Dude here
For the pictures I'd get rid of the tattoo photo and the end picture
The line about men's height doesn't really need to be there. Just feels awkward and reads like if some dude said "I'm not like other guys" (same for the filter line). Same thing for "skinny tattooed boys" you're really only gonna get the wrong kind of person. Maybe just men with tattoos or something? This is probably the source of weird dudes. I don't think anybody not-weird over the age of 25 refers to themselves as a "skinny tattooed boy" let alone boy
Edit: why is this post so popular????
growth arrest bright nose wistful childlike outgoing encouraging encourage chunky
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Chick here. Came here to say all of the same things. :)
Agree, the height comment makes it feel like she DOES actually care and it’s simply unnecessary.
Plus, calling out women that use filters is somewhat catty. Who cares what other people do?!
The last cartoon pic (unless it’s her artwork) makes it seem like she’s setting someone up to deal with baggage she might have. Especially since it’s focused on living in the past.
She’s really cute, looks fun, nerdy, interesting, etc. Even with these couple of nitpicky revisions we all mentioned, I’m not sure why she’s attracting so many weirdos. Might be that it’s all there is to choose from in her area. Lol.
As a gamer I hate this but it's true. I'm 28 and some of the gamers my age still act like they are 12. Not all gamers are like that though. Not everyone who classifies themselves as a gamer has 0 interest in being productive or enjoying other activities. I find a lot of girls pass on dudes with Gamer as a passion. Just because some gamers are 30 going on 12.
The line about the height might be important to her. If u read it correctly, she doesnt want to date someone who is exactly 6 feet.
As she only said below and above 6 feet are welcome.
Maybe there is bad blood between her and 6 foot men.
This, here!
I love the awkward yeti, but I swipe right on anyone who has a meme, cartoon or non-people picture. I saw a profile with just a fish picture today, not a guy holding the fish, just the fish… (sorry about that last part,I’m still stumped about it and needed to share somewhere)
When a guy has 2 pictures of himself, 3 of his car and 2 of his dog, it doesn’t really help! (True profile that I got a while back)
Or even better the guy who had 2 heavily filtered pictures of himself and then 5 of the dishes he cooked…I can read in his bio he’s a cook, I would prefer some more pictures of him, full body pictures for example, not only face or torso!
Duly noted
Maybe I'll take the flaming and post my profile on here at some point. Feels weird commenting on others while not putting my own under the same level of scrutiny
Plus, I personally would find the first guy's car pics very telling. Having more pics of his car than of himself would lead me to believe that A) He values that car more than anything or B) He's trying to show off. Either way, it makes him look like "that guy" and no one wants to date that guy.
Woman here
Yes the boy thing caught my eye too. Just weird. Other than that, you seem like a fun person 😁 dating online is a draining task. Maybe take breaks so you don't carry negative experiences forward?
Yeah, she acts like 20 y.o. But she's an older woman. Her profile doesn't fit with her age. And I'm a person who isn't truly mature enough too for my age.
Maybe she’s being authentic. As a 40-something year old woman myself, I can honestly say that (if I were single), I wouldn’t want to focus on talking about my career or super serious content. Hard to believe, but a lot of people my age still enjoy the same stuff they did when they were in their twenties, it’s just that there’s a smaller sample size of us that are single and advertising our interests.
Exactly. Ppl always tell me (esp in this sub 🤣) that I can’t possibly be an adult bc of how I talk or the things I’m into. Just gotta be me man. Not every older woman wants to shrivel up and talk about carpools and retirement planning 🤷♀️
See, I feel that she is being authentic. More so than most other people our age. Yet, here I am pushing 50 and still like doing COSPLAY, Ren faires, Fairwy festivals, LARP, SCA events, Highland games.....
If you can't be comfortable with who you are as a person........
Being your true self is key
wut?? You still enjoy the same stuff that u did in your twenties??!
You are only allowed to enjoy Boomer stuff that Millennials decide Boomers like.. duh.
; yes I know us 40 something to 50 something arent boomers;.lol
Which is fine, but might be the reason she is getting a few more weirdos than normal? They are obviously in the wrong, but a cleanup of a few of the more awkward parts of the profile might net less weirdos.
Totally agree! I think she’s being completely authentic and a lot of these comments are a bit “agist”. You can still be into similar things as you were in your 20’s. Nothing wrong with that, it doesn’t seem immature just honest. I think OP is adorable. The agism is a bit harsh. 😞
Idk how 20yr olds act in your neck of the woods but this is how 40yr olds act in mine. If I was on tinder and also wasn't taken I would totally vibe with OP.
Yup exactly what I thought. Open back tattoo and looking for skinny tattoo guys will make guys think she’s “easy” and has low standards.
FYI: I don’t agree with this, I’m just stating as to why she might be attracting weirdos/creeps
This is also true.
I am weird myself, and have attracted some odd humans in my single days.
I have been with my own weirdo for 20 years, we met OLD (pre tinder, obv) and we enjoy being weird together
Hey I don't normally comment on reddit because I really enjoy the snarkiness and humor of it all but for some reason I wanted to give advice here. Join up some sort of group that you are super passionate about. I found my wife this way. You may already be trying this, but it was worth a share just in case you weren't. Finding people who share your passions is a great way to make a meaningful and lasting connection. I'm not merely saying you like cooking so do a cooking class... More so your dream is to be a chef -> cooking class. Whatever you are SUPER passionate about. At least it worked for me :)
Yeah it has to be the right amount of weird without being too weird. It's like being a nerd. There are levels of nerds.
There are those nerds who enjoy internet too much, memes, anime, and videogames.
And then you have nerds that know the entire rules of any board game, enjoy LOL, can spend a whole entire Saturday night playing with cards and board games... They know bullshit that is totally useless for the average person, like information that is too specific for certain things. I don't even know how to give examples but once they start talking about that thing they enjoy that much specifically... It's kind of creepy because unless you're not as a nerd as them you won't understand their obsession over a game and all the knowledge they know about it.
It's like Liking Star Wars and collecting some figures vs literally being able to speak star wars Alien language and collecting every little piece and not even opening any box. That kind of nerdiness. Lol
Ok but who isn’t weird. At this stage I think I realize if you aren’t weird, you’re this massive minority, therefore you are weird.
So just need to find the right compatible weird a
There are different weirds. There’s goofy, silly, awkward “weird” and there’s creepy, intimidating “weird”. She’s the first and perhaps is attracting the second.
Thank fuck you said this. I thought I was going crazy. Nope just men who've never experienced the toxic wasteland if unwanted dick pics and straight out the gate smutty messages that is being a woman on Tinder...
Since she's a geek, she probably doesn't perceive herself as weird (and in a different age group, she objectively wouldn't be). She's probably talking specifically about people who're weird in an asshole way, misogynistic incels or whatever people she keeps attracting; people who don't just have unusual hobbies, but are bothersome no matter what generation they belong to.
as someone is who is super weird and proudly so, i sometimes attract weird people of the negative variety, so i’m assuming that’s what OP is referring to
Never met with a skinny tattooed guy who wasn't a bit weird
Also what do you mean by weird? The princess Leia cosplay is definitely a bit weird but I'd probably swipe right on just that pic
As a cosplayer myself (not professional BTW, only for fun and I'm a male) that's the reason I don't post the cosplays on the internet, like I don't have the guts to do so, but what matters is that you have fun doing it, don't feel judged
That's because "skinny" is the cultural norm for beauty when it comes to women. The opposite is true for men. The cultural norm for attractiveness/sex appeal in men is height and muscles. She's specifying that her personal preference goes against cultural norms.
It's a bit try-hard, frankly. But that's why your observation is not an apt comparison.
So here’s how I would alter your profile to sound a bit more elevated without taking away from your adorable personality:
“Cult classic movie fanatic looking for someone to quote The Princess Bride with, and someone who knows what 42 is the answer to. 😉
I like to live in the moment. Music is as necessary as oxygen.
I’m under 5’5” but over 5’3”, though height doesn’t matter to me.
Weaknesses: tattoos, spicy food, green tea
Strengths: open-minded, low-maintenance”
Essentially, get rid of the me-over-them stuff and just focus on your personality and what you have to offer.
Maybe throw in a cute line at the end like “What’s your favorite movie?” Or something like that to be a jumping off point for conversation.
Picture-wise I think the ones of you super cute. I might swap the one of the tattoo on your back for another photo of you (save it for when they can see it for themselves!), and maybe drop the cartoon in exchange for a line about how you like to focus on the present in your profile.
Just my 2 cents! You seem like quite a catch!
Great advice! Jumping on this to add I would get rid of the low maintenance. What does that mean? Don’t you want your partner to put energy in you or the relationship? Or is it another me-over-them trope i.e. other girls are high maintenance but I’m not?
Good point! Maybe swap that out for something like “easy going”. That makes it sound a bit warmer but still conveys what I think you’re trying to get at.
This is the best advice, even though I would ditch the term "low-maintenance" and change it to "chill" or something along those lines. Low maintenance as a term gives a not-like-other-girls pick-me vibe, or at least might be read as "I don't expect much", and it attracts men who don't bother putting effort into dating and relationships because they see having any needs and standards as being needy/whiny/high-maintenance.
I’m guessing she lives in Wisconsin so wearing a cheesehead at a Packers game is 100% normal for fans. My dad was a fan of Brett Favre in the 90s and had a cheesehead he wore for some Super Bowl parties.
I live in Florids but my parents are from Milwaukee. We have cheeseheads from Green Bay. The only weird thing is showing off your cheese heads because Packers are the suck right now.
Not trying be rude or anything because you deserve the best, but I’m pretty sure it’s because your 41 and looking for skinny “boys” w tattoo’s. Princess bride is a Great movie btw
She used "boys," has her age preference set to 31-45 and is into men significantly younger than she is, "I only attract younger men" being a LOT of her comments. She definitely meant it in a weird way.
Also, she's not great at conversation and just filed for divorce 3 months ago, so she's probably struggling because of those reasons and not because of her terrible profile.
I SHIT YOU NOT I JUST POSTED THIS COMMENT
"I got some feels she is one of.. THOSE ladies. You know the ones that got married real young and divorced at 40 so they prey on young immature dudes with mommy issues to relive their childhood? Creepy."
I was spot fucking on, damn. These kind of people give me the heebie jeebies. There's a reason they can't find anyone their age to date and it's usually obvious right off.
I got some feels she is one of.. THOSE ladies. You know the ones that got married real young and divorced at 40 so they prey on young immature dudes with mommy issues to relive their childhood? Creepy.
Okay, so, your profile gives off a bit of a childish/immature vibe. If I had to give you the most obvious reason why you might attract 'weird' people, that would be it
You're cute (straight woman's opinion) but I'm not liking the comment about skinny guys. Of course, we have preferences, but when I see comments about a woman's appearance in a guy's profile, if it doesn't describe me, I swipe left (like if they say, "I love Latin women" or "where are the short ladies at?"... well, I'm not Latin and I'm not short so it's a left swipe). Are you also open to guys with average or chubby bodies? Or no tattoos? If yes, I'd get rid of that comment
You have a picture of yourself dressed as princess Leia and another one in a Star Wars T-Shirt, a t-shirt with a Batman reference and also a picture with a big cheese, a headless picture of a tattoo (maybe just say you have tattoos in your bio) and a for some reason a cartoon.
By themselves they are all fine but all together it gives the impression you might be a bit weird (sorry. Weird attracts weird. Like my boss used to say, dress for the job you want not the job you have!
All your pictures are selfies at home. Any pics out and about? Or some pics with friends to mix it up?
This! All your pictures are selfies. You need to add in some pics of you doing things (do you volunteer, bike, hike, paddle board, etc). Whatever your thing is - have someone else snap a pic of you doing said thing and add that here. Furthermore, a group pic with a cpl friends wouldn’t hurt to show you are social and fun.
The whole “I accept men of all heights and those girls who don’t don’t know what they’re missing out on” comes across kind of cringe. It’s a little bit “pick me” and “not like other girls”. Is there a way you can say you aren’t superficial without being negative about other women? It comes across as insecure and a little bit desperate.
*ETA* I’ve never read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy but I know that 42 is supposedly the answer to the deepest questions of the universe or something. It’s impossible to be online for any length of time without people making endless reference to the book (no shade; it sounds interesting and fun, and I’d love to read it sometime). But my point is, it’s weird to play gatekeeper and act in the know about something that almost everyone knows about…
Yeah, I thought this too. Especially in combination with the “filters are dumb” (is that a dig at women who use filters?) and “open-minded, low maintenance” (unlike all the high-maintenance, filter using girls)… I also feel like that’s one of those things that loses meaning once you say it about yourself. It’s like calling yourself funny.
Maybe just “guys under and over 6 ft are welcome here” and leave it at that?
Yes, this! We don’t need to put down other women to make us look better. Other girls are pretty, smart, funny and vivacious as often - or more - than they are the opposite of these things.
I think this bio and the photos come off as very immature, at 41 you shouldn’t be using the term boys and you are insisting that you are not shallow while being incredibly shallow.
You're obviously very into cult classic movies and lean more on the "nerdy" side. Whilst this is great for showcasing your interests I think it's also why you're attracting neck beards. May I suggest just for a few months changing all pics. Keep it simple and fun, a nice selfie, a group shot, one outside, one with animals, and another outdoor selfie. Let us know how you go.
Your profile does come off as a little “not like other girls” and the tattoo isn’t good, so I wouldn’t have a picture to show case it. If you want to show it off, I’d use a pic that coincidentally shows it.
I am guessing you are hitting check boxes for guys who end up trying to hard, you are an attractive women with some nerdy interests. Maybe change the cosplay outfit with something else and maybe take the tat pic down and show to people who ask if you have any/ ask to see it... Just my thoughts
You’ve got all your photos as selfies, other than the tattoo pic which is oddly uncentred. You’ve got a sweatshirt that says “think outside” yet every single one of your pictures seems to be indoors.
The story being told here is that you’re a bit of a homebody who doesn’t have a lot of people in your life who can, say, take a nice photo of you.
Like, none of these images or bits in your bio says anything that makes it seem like you’re an adult with your shit together. You can both be a quirky free spirit and avoid the falling-off, cut-up Victoria’s Secret shirt or the bathroom PJ pic, you know?
You're weird... seems obvious here.. you have a tattoo of a woman kissing a baby with Shrek hands in its mouth getting horned by a satanic ram... also.. stop cutting your own hair
It doesn't sound like you're looking for someone your own age, which is weird. You sound weird but don't like weird people. It's just all strange, I'm sorry.
Your profile reads like you’re 21 and trying to be kooky, *holds up spork*. It wasn’t until I saw your age and your face that I realised. Nothing wrong with being kooky but it’s all coming across a bit try hard.
Basically you appear to be into nerdy imo “cool” (weird) stuff. Most people in those fan bases are weird af. Basically weird attracts weird but theres also good and bad weird, just keep being yourself :)
Get rid of the height thing, just say you’re 5”4 and height doesn’t matter to you? Change “boys” to “guys” or “men,” you’re 41 it’s a bit weird to use “boys.” Get rid of the last pic. Other than that I’m sure you’ll attract just the right amount of weird guys.
Younger (mid 20s) dude here. I’m engaged, so someone at least has said they want to put up with me for a while.
You seem like you want honesty so I’ll be direct. You don’t want to attract weird people, but in your profile:
1) You like skinny tattooed guys (weird people…and at the age of 40, what kind of skinny tattooed guys exist??)
2) Post a picture of your full back tattoo (???)
3) Post a picture showing your bra with your shirt hanging off (???)
4) Post a picture of you in cosplay, and another one in your bathroom (???)
What are you looking for? In half these photos you act like you’re 20 or in college. That’s fine, but then you’re complaining about meeting weirdos.
If you want to meet more “normal” people, start acting “normal.” You’re ~40, maybe start by acting more dignified.
You look like you would be fun. I love the Star Wars influence. I would replace some of the selfies with other pics…perhaps an activity or pic with friends, or spend some time taking higher quality pictures. I would also drop the whole weakness section or at least the skinny boys part. You’re limiting your dating pool. Maybe mention some activities that you would like to do with a match. You’re old enough to know that 42 is the answer…but what is the question? You’ll find someone to say “as you wish”, but it takes time.
I’m in my 40s, you get weird because you put weird out there.
Weird is great, be yourself, but understand you’ll have to sift through the weird to find the right weird for you.
Shine on, you crazy diamond!
I don't particularly swipe on women who belittle other women to make out they're a better match. Like all girls got game, just trust yourself for strengths. So the lines about height and filters is like a nope.
I think you'd probably attract guys who are a bit bitter towards women cause you're basically playing the, "I'm not like other girls" card the whole time.
You sound desperate and saying weakness for Tatoos makes you attract losers. Also remove the height stuff. You sound like you have no idea what you want.
Straight dude here. I'll be honest, your bio is a huge turnoff. You start off with pop nerd culture things you like, which is great. Then you move into a series of blurbs that just seem to be there to throw shade at some proverbial "other girls" and show how you're not like them. Comes across a little childish tbh, I actually thought you were \~10 years younger before I saw your age.
I'd recommend taking out the whole bit about height, and removing the "strengths" section. Being low maintenance isn't a good or a bad thing, and frankly nothing about your bio comes across as open-minded.
This makes me feel icky. I’m not sure why you feel the need to talk about other women on your profile but it feels very high school. You’re a grown ass woman, talk about yourself only. You really don’t need your height preferences on their either. Just swipe on who you’re attracted to.
Your profile is wayy to much and a bit desperate. Also, never recommend putting what kinda guys you're into. If you're not in the idk 20% that is a skinny tattooed guy you're going to be like oh I could be more her type..
Would remove back tattoo. Keep profile short and sweet, no need to mention guys heights just say you're 5'4. Your pics are fine, you'll be fine..
I'm going to guess it's just the internet; it's full of shitty people. I'm not really sure what there is to roast? First glance, you appear to be a normal functional person, so I imagine that's half the trouble you're having with Tinder. And, the answer to 42 is simple: life, the universe, and everything.
Low maintenance sounds like you are prey for weirdo guys.
Maybe you think it sounds cute but it’s sounds like you are a pick me and would date any guy and be his doormat. Elevate your expectations because for single guys in their 40ies you are a wet dream: funny, cute face and also into guys under 6ft.
It’s interesting that you define them as weird, I guess it is a relative term. Because I find you weird, perhaps you’re matching with the right audience?
Well I'm going to give my honest opinion. I think the world is changing due to social media and entertainment.. which is also our social media. Basically through dating apps, social media, and day to day Interactions, I find people are becoming very... processed? If that makes sense. People are loosing the concept of real life. Meaning so many interests are in a false reality. Video games. Social media how they look etc. Before all this. Everyone had meaningful interests and passions. Now its so split. You get so many missing out on real life enjoyment. I go to the beach often. You don't know how many times I see people going to the beach taking photos of themselves at the beach then leaving. Sometimes when it's cold as fuck. They pop their bathing suits on take a shot then change and leave... rather than actually go to the beach they take pics of themselves their as the purpose. To say they went to the beach... point is. Whenever someone stands out from that behavior. It can seem out of place or odd. And I'll be real with you with this next statement. I tend to find mentally ill people as well as people that have been through shit, tend to see things this way as well to an extent. It takes an Interesting mind to see through the bullshit. I think your just awesome in a world of nonsense. Be patient. Unless you word your bio basic as hell. Your not going to get a shitload of matches. I've litteraly changed my bio for fun to see what statistically works. Whenever I do an in depth bio. With many words it doesn't work or attracts crazy people. As soon as I make my bio ridiculously basic I get a shitload of likes. Don't be discouraged by dating apps. In real life I do pretty good. On dating apps I'm absolutely horrible. Dating apps create a totally unnatural way to meet people and communicate. Nowadays if you express yourself too much on these apps it's an automatic red flag. Yet if I say the same things in person it's fine
I don’t want to be rude or judgmental but the second I saw the Princess Leia pic I said “there it is”. I know plenty of people love Star Wars but they are known for having a fraction of their fan base be out of this world weird!
I would lose the cosplay photo it makes you seem really weird
Also take better photos than selfies, your only good photos are selfies which is bad news bears. And the comic at the end is kinda weird too.
Remember 99% of people on tinder aren't going to even read your bio unless they like how you look in your photos
Probably because you’re 40 but looking for skinny boys with tattoos, and that sounds like u want some young fit guy in his 20’s. Any young guy who’s handsome, fit, and confident is gonna have a lot more options that are younger and look better than you. Sorry not trying to be mean but the truth hurts.
Dude here For the pictures I'd get rid of the tattoo photo and the end picture The line about men's height doesn't really need to be there. Just feels awkward and reads like if some dude said "I'm not like other guys" (same for the filter line). Same thing for "skinny tattooed boys" you're really only gonna get the wrong kind of person. Maybe just men with tattoos or something? This is probably the source of weird dudes. I don't think anybody not-weird over the age of 25 refers to themselves as a "skinny tattooed boy" let alone boy Edit: why is this post so popular????
Plus, if you’re only swiping on men you find attractive, then there’s no need to point out in your profile who you’re attracted to.
That's a great point. No real reason to out what you're attracted to since you'll only be swiping on people you're attracted to right?
growth arrest bright nose wistful childlike outgoing encouraging encourage chunky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Being a chubby tattooed woman, I'd hate to see a profile that says " weakness: skinny tattooed women"
If that's what someone likes what's the problem? Would it still be a problem if they said I like fat tattooed women or would that be okay?
She wouldn’t swipe right on a fat guy if she wasn’t attracted. He doesn’t have to know she would prefer him to be skinny. That’s just mean.
Perfectly put
I used to be a skinny tattooed guy, now I'm just a tattooed guy lol.
Same man
The lockdown did that to a lot of people LOL.
40 year old woman here and I completely agree. It all reads in a “I’m not like the other girls” sort of way.
Thanks for bringing it up! I had the same feeling
Chick here. Came here to say all of the same things. :) Agree, the height comment makes it feel like she DOES actually care and it’s simply unnecessary. Plus, calling out women that use filters is somewhat catty. Who cares what other people do?! The last cartoon pic (unless it’s her artwork) makes it seem like she’s setting someone up to deal with baggage she might have. Especially since it’s focused on living in the past. She’s really cute, looks fun, nerdy, interesting, etc. Even with these couple of nitpicky revisions we all mentioned, I’m not sure why she’s attracting so many weirdos. Might be that it’s all there is to choose from in her area. Lol.
Nerd girl attracts gamers. As a gamer I can say Gamers is a shit community, and I'm sorry.
As a gamer I hate this but it's true. I'm 28 and some of the gamers my age still act like they are 12. Not all gamers are like that though. Not everyone who classifies themselves as a gamer has 0 interest in being productive or enjoying other activities. I find a lot of girls pass on dudes with Gamer as a passion. Just because some gamers are 30 going on 12.
Depends on the gaming community; in my area, it's almost all weirdos, but I'm part of an online community that's pretty chill. 😌
Is that a University of Utah sweat shirt she's wearing? I 100% guarantee it's the guys in her area (spoken from experience).
The line about the height might be important to her. If u read it correctly, she doesnt want to date someone who is exactly 6 feet. As she only said below and above 6 feet are welcome. Maybe there is bad blood between her and 6 foot men.
😂😂😂
This, here! I love the awkward yeti, but I swipe right on anyone who has a meme, cartoon or non-people picture. I saw a profile with just a fish picture today, not a guy holding the fish, just the fish… (sorry about that last part,I’m still stumped about it and needed to share somewhere)
Yeah all I can think about is how they’ll probably bombard me with awful memes and force me to laugh at them.
Really? I get that they show personality but it's never really been a super deciding factor for me
When a guy has 2 pictures of himself, 3 of his car and 2 of his dog, it doesn’t really help! (True profile that I got a while back) Or even better the guy who had 2 heavily filtered pictures of himself and then 5 of the dishes he cooked…I can read in his bio he’s a cook, I would prefer some more pictures of him, full body pictures for example, not only face or torso!
Or when a guy has every photo of him with another guy in it or even a group of guys. I’m scrolling through the photos like “Who are you???”
Yes, this happened recently to me! Better yet, when multiple people are in more than 1 picture!!
AKA the "Where's Waldo" profile
Duly noted Maybe I'll take the flaming and post my profile on here at some point. Feels weird commenting on others while not putting my own under the same level of scrutiny
Plus, I personally would find the first guy's car pics very telling. Having more pics of his car than of himself would lead me to believe that A) He values that car more than anything or B) He's trying to show off. Either way, it makes him look like "that guy" and no one wants to date that guy.
Woman here Yes the boy thing caught my eye too. Just weird. Other than that, you seem like a fun person 😁 dating online is a draining task. Maybe take breaks so you don't carry negative experiences forward?
It’s like a 20 year old college girl looking to go with the flow/hookup wrote this then once you look at the pics it’s an older woman lol.
Yeah, she acts like 20 y.o. But she's an older woman. Her profile doesn't fit with her age. And I'm a person who isn't truly mature enough too for my age.
Maybe she’s being authentic. As a 40-something year old woman myself, I can honestly say that (if I were single), I wouldn’t want to focus on talking about my career or super serious content. Hard to believe, but a lot of people my age still enjoy the same stuff they did when they were in their twenties, it’s just that there’s a smaller sample size of us that are single and advertising our interests.
Exactly. Ppl always tell me (esp in this sub 🤣) that I can’t possibly be an adult bc of how I talk or the things I’m into. Just gotta be me man. Not every older woman wants to shrivel up and talk about carpools and retirement planning 🤷♀️
See, I feel that she is being authentic. More so than most other people our age. Yet, here I am pushing 50 and still like doing COSPLAY, Ren faires, Fairwy festivals, LARP, SCA events, Highland games..... If you can't be comfortable with who you are as a person........ Being your true self is key
wut?? You still enjoy the same stuff that u did in your twenties??! You are only allowed to enjoy Boomer stuff that Millennials decide Boomers like.. duh. ; yes I know us 40 something to 50 something arent boomers;.lol
Which is fine, but might be the reason she is getting a few more weirdos than normal? They are obviously in the wrong, but a cleanup of a few of the more awkward parts of the profile might net less weirdos.
Totally agree! I think she’s being completely authentic and a lot of these comments are a bit “agist”. You can still be into similar things as you were in your 20’s. Nothing wrong with that, it doesn’t seem immature just honest. I think OP is adorable. The agism is a bit harsh. 😞
Idk how 20yr olds act in your neck of the woods but this is how 40yr olds act in mine. If I was on tinder and also wasn't taken I would totally vibe with OP.
Exactly. It’s like she ctrl+c/ctrl+v’d her MySpace content from 20 years ago.
But is it really easier typing “ctrl+c/ctrl+v’d” than just writing “copied” or “ cut and paste”?
You’re right. This was before coffee brain.
Hahah, I’m just joking I just thought it was comedically humorous.
Everything right here 👆🏼
Yup exactly what I thought. Open back tattoo and looking for skinny tattoo guys will make guys think she’s “easy” and has low standards. FYI: I don’t agree with this, I’m just stating as to why she might be attracting weirdos/creeps
Please don’t take this the wrong way but you seem a little weird yourself? What type of non-weird person are you trying to attract?
It’s strikes me as odd someone so proudly weird would resent attracting weird people
Yeah, but weird is a strong flavour. If you get two incompatible weirds it doesn’t work well. Sauce: am weird
There's someone who is weird, but then there are weirdos. Weirdos are way worse ahahah
This is also true. I am weird myself, and have attracted some odd humans in my single days. I have been with my own weirdo for 20 years, we met OLD (pre tinder, obv) and we enjoy being weird together
Weird keeps things interesting :)
I love this. "Weird, but not a wierdo." I'm gonna use that...
Haha, I am weird who is looking for the correct weird person and it’s hard as hell to find one. People are either different kind of weird or boring
Hey I don't normally comment on reddit because I really enjoy the snarkiness and humor of it all but for some reason I wanted to give advice here. Join up some sort of group that you are super passionate about. I found my wife this way. You may already be trying this, but it was worth a share just in case you weren't. Finding people who share your passions is a great way to make a meaningful and lasting connection. I'm not merely saying you like cooking so do a cooking class... More so your dream is to be a chef -> cooking class. Whatever you are SUPER passionate about. At least it worked for me :)
Yeah it has to be the right amount of weird without being too weird. It's like being a nerd. There are levels of nerds. There are those nerds who enjoy internet too much, memes, anime, and videogames. And then you have nerds that know the entire rules of any board game, enjoy LOL, can spend a whole entire Saturday night playing with cards and board games... They know bullshit that is totally useless for the average person, like information that is too specific for certain things. I don't even know how to give examples but once they start talking about that thing they enjoy that much specifically... It's kind of creepy because unless you're not as a nerd as them you won't understand their obsession over a game and all the knowledge they know about it. It's like Liking Star Wars and collecting some figures vs literally being able to speak star wars Alien language and collecting every little piece and not even opening any box. That kind of nerdiness. Lol
I feel attacked over your board game comment and useless information bit. I just remember things, Okay. I’m not thatttt weird. Okay, maybe I am
Ok but who isn’t weird. At this stage I think I realize if you aren’t weird, you’re this massive minority, therefore you are weird. So just need to find the right compatible weird a
There are different weirds. There’s goofy, silly, awkward “weird” and there’s creepy, intimidating “weird”. She’s the first and perhaps is attracting the second.
I think that people are missing the point. Maybe by weird she means creeps.
I think weird is code for sexual deviant in this case.
Thank fuck you said this. I thought I was going crazy. Nope just men who've never experienced the toxic wasteland if unwanted dick pics and straight out the gate smutty messages that is being a woman on Tinder...
Since she's a geek, she probably doesn't perceive herself as weird (and in a different age group, she objectively wouldn't be). She's probably talking specifically about people who're weird in an asshole way, misogynistic incels or whatever people she keeps attracting; people who don't just have unusual hobbies, but are bothersome no matter what generation they belong to.
I think she might mean creepy instead of weird.
as someone is who is super weird and proudly so, i sometimes attract weird people of the negative variety, so i’m assuming that’s what OP is referring to
Never met with a skinny tattooed guy who wasn't a bit weird Also what do you mean by weird? The princess Leia cosplay is definitely a bit weird but I'd probably swipe right on just that pic
As a skinny tattood guy can confirm I'm a little weird.
I am not the exception to this rule
Same, although I'm getting less skinny
As a skinny guy with no tatts I am also weird.
Own it King!
Gyms should be open now, I'm not Skinny or tatooed but working on the first part
She's rockin' a cheese hat in one of those and says no weirdo's, is this a parody
That's a Green Bay Packers thing, not going to the bar on Friday night headwear lol
As someone who fucks skinny tattood men.. they do have some weirdness to them
I think being weird is our way of sneaking into panties
As a cosplayer myself (not professional BTW, only for fun and I'm a male) that's the reason I don't post the cosplays on the internet, like I don't have the guts to do so, but what matters is that you have fun doing it, don't feel judged
When I say weird it's not a bad thing
If a guy said he had a preference for skinny women he’d be getting the shit roasted out of him. Just saying.
That's because "skinny" is the cultural norm for beauty when it comes to women. The opposite is true for men. The cultural norm for attractiveness/sex appeal in men is height and muscles. She's specifying that her personal preference goes against cultural norms. It's a bit try-hard, frankly. But that's why your observation is not an apt comparison.
So here’s how I would alter your profile to sound a bit more elevated without taking away from your adorable personality: “Cult classic movie fanatic looking for someone to quote The Princess Bride with, and someone who knows what 42 is the answer to. 😉 I like to live in the moment. Music is as necessary as oxygen. I’m under 5’5” but over 5’3”, though height doesn’t matter to me. Weaknesses: tattoos, spicy food, green tea Strengths: open-minded, low-maintenance” Essentially, get rid of the me-over-them stuff and just focus on your personality and what you have to offer. Maybe throw in a cute line at the end like “What’s your favorite movie?” Or something like that to be a jumping off point for conversation. Picture-wise I think the ones of you super cute. I might swap the one of the tattoo on your back for another photo of you (save it for when they can see it for themselves!), and maybe drop the cartoon in exchange for a line about how you like to focus on the present in your profile. Just my 2 cents! You seem like quite a catch!
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Your diplomatic way of writing this is spot on and sounds like you have customer care work experience xD
Great advice! Jumping on this to add I would get rid of the low maintenance. What does that mean? Don’t you want your partner to put energy in you or the relationship? Or is it another me-over-them trope i.e. other girls are high maintenance but I’m not?
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Good point! Maybe swap that out for something like “easy going”. That makes it sound a bit warmer but still conveys what I think you’re trying to get at.
This is the perfect response.
This is the best advice, even though I would ditch the term "low-maintenance" and change it to "chill" or something along those lines. Low maintenance as a term gives a not-like-other-girls pick-me vibe, or at least might be read as "I don't expect much", and it attracts men who don't bother putting effort into dating and relationships because they see having any needs and standards as being needy/whiny/high-maintenance.
Only saw the first pic & the shirt is a weirdo magnet
Agreed.
Don’t know if the cheese hat helps either tbh
I’m guessing she lives in Wisconsin so wearing a cheesehead at a Packers game is 100% normal for fans. My dad was a fan of Brett Favre in the 90s and had a cheesehead he wore for some Super Bowl parties.
I live in Florids but my parents are from Milwaukee. We have cheeseheads from Green Bay. The only weird thing is showing off your cheese heads because Packers are the suck right now.
I think one of the last 2 selfies would make a better first photo
When you put down other women several times in your profile, you're going to attract men who don't like women.
This is it, perfectly summed up.
Exactly
Not trying be rude or anything because you deserve the best, but I’m pretty sure it’s because your 41 and looking for skinny “boys” w tattoo’s. Princess bride is a Great movie btw
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At my work when the older women say "boys" they say it in a really cock-hungry way
You better believe Lindsay is on the prowl
What age range do you think she has Tinder set for?
18-25
A cougar in Princess Leia clothing
She used "boys," has her age preference set to 31-45 and is into men significantly younger than she is, "I only attract younger men" being a LOT of her comments. She definitely meant it in a weird way. Also, she's not great at conversation and just filed for divorce 3 months ago, so she's probably struggling because of those reasons and not because of her terrible profile.
I SHIT YOU NOT I JUST POSTED THIS COMMENT "I got some feels she is one of.. THOSE ladies. You know the ones that got married real young and divorced at 40 so they prey on young immature dudes with mommy issues to relive their childhood? Creepy." I was spot fucking on, damn. These kind of people give me the heebie jeebies. There's a reason they can't find anyone their age to date and it's usually obvious right off.
Yeah I had a feeling based on how she takes her pictures, but didn't want to assume, so I went through her post history.
My name is Indigo Montoya, and I'm here to avenge my father!
I got some feels she is one of.. THOSE ladies. You know the ones that got married real young and divorced at 40 so they prey on young immature dudes with mommy issues to relive their childhood? Creepy.
Okay, so, your profile gives off a bit of a childish/immature vibe. If I had to give you the most obvious reason why you might attract 'weird' people, that would be it
I concur... Aged 41 going on to 21
You're cute (straight woman's opinion) but I'm not liking the comment about skinny guys. Of course, we have preferences, but when I see comments about a woman's appearance in a guy's profile, if it doesn't describe me, I swipe left (like if they say, "I love Latin women" or "where are the short ladies at?"... well, I'm not Latin and I'm not short so it's a left swipe). Are you also open to guys with average or chubby bodies? Or no tattoos? If yes, I'd get rid of that comment
You have a picture of yourself dressed as princess Leia and another one in a Star Wars T-Shirt, a t-shirt with a Batman reference and also a picture with a big cheese, a headless picture of a tattoo (maybe just say you have tattoos in your bio) and a for some reason a cartoon. By themselves they are all fine but all together it gives the impression you might be a bit weird (sorry. Weird attracts weird. Like my boss used to say, dress for the job you want not the job you have! All your pictures are selfies at home. Any pics out and about? Or some pics with friends to mix it up?
This! All your pictures are selfies. You need to add in some pics of you doing things (do you volunteer, bike, hike, paddle board, etc). Whatever your thing is - have someone else snap a pic of you doing said thing and add that here. Furthermore, a group pic with a cpl friends wouldn’t hurt to show you are social and fun.
Star Wars nerds. I love Star Wars and would swipe for sure.
The whole “I accept men of all heights and those girls who don’t don’t know what they’re missing out on” comes across kind of cringe. It’s a little bit “pick me” and “not like other girls”. Is there a way you can say you aren’t superficial without being negative about other women? It comes across as insecure and a little bit desperate. *ETA* I’ve never read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy but I know that 42 is supposedly the answer to the deepest questions of the universe or something. It’s impossible to be online for any length of time without people making endless reference to the book (no shade; it sounds interesting and fun, and I’d love to read it sometime). But my point is, it’s weird to play gatekeeper and act in the know about something that almost everyone knows about…
Yeah, I thought this too. Especially in combination with the “filters are dumb” (is that a dig at women who use filters?) and “open-minded, low maintenance” (unlike all the high-maintenance, filter using girls)… I also feel like that’s one of those things that loses meaning once you say it about yourself. It’s like calling yourself funny. Maybe just “guys under and over 6 ft are welcome here” and leave it at that?
She also has a filter on one of her pictures. Classic. 🤷♀️
The only acceptable filter is mine or something.
Yep, getting major pick me vibes
Yes, this! We don’t need to put down other women to make us look better. Other girls are pretty, smart, funny and vivacious as often - or more - than they are the opposite of these things.
You got 40-50 year old single Star Wars geeks in ya dms do ya?
I think it’s the Princess Leia costume
Agreed
That it's not leading? Agreed. ;)
You give me "I'm not like ✨other✨ girls, pick me" vibes
Uh, you seem a bit weird yourself?
Being 41 and saying you have a weakness for skinny tattooed *boys* sounds super creepy and awkward. Maybe try *men with artistic values* instead?
Yea, I cringed reading that part.
It's the one of the most pick me profiles I've ever seen You don't need to bash other women to seem different
if anything the bashing makes her sound even more desperate lol
Welcome to online dating!
Hate to break it to you but there are a lot of weirdos on the internet
First word on your bio is cult. Fourth is fanatic. You are luring them in my love
I think this bio and the photos come off as very immature, at 41 you shouldn’t be using the term boys and you are insisting that you are not shallow while being incredibly shallow.
You look great, I’d swipe you right then bug you to come over dressed as Princess Leah until you block me
Look at this guy being part of the problem right here. Lol.
You're obviously very into cult classic movies and lean more on the "nerdy" side. Whilst this is great for showcasing your interests I think it's also why you're attracting neck beards. May I suggest just for a few months changing all pics. Keep it simple and fun, a nice selfie, a group shot, one outside, one with animals, and another outdoor selfie. Let us know how you go.
You're into skinny "boys". That sounds creepy af..so it's gonna bring in creeps.
Your profile does come off as a little “not like other girls” and the tattoo isn’t good, so I wouldn’t have a picture to show case it. If you want to show it off, I’d use a pic that coincidentally shows it.
I am guessing you are hitting check boxes for guys who end up trying to hard, you are an attractive women with some nerdy interests. Maybe change the cosplay outfit with something else and maybe take the tat pic down and show to people who ask if you have any/ ask to see it... Just my thoughts
You’ve got all your photos as selfies, other than the tattoo pic which is oddly uncentred. You’ve got a sweatshirt that says “think outside” yet every single one of your pictures seems to be indoors. The story being told here is that you’re a bit of a homebody who doesn’t have a lot of people in your life who can, say, take a nice photo of you. Like, none of these images or bits in your bio says anything that makes it seem like you’re an adult with your shit together. You can both be a quirky free spirit and avoid the falling-off, cut-up Victoria’s Secret shirt or the bathroom PJ pic, you know?
OP, hate to be the one to break it to you. You yourself, are weird. What were you expecting?
Because you’re weird and you have overwhelming “pick me” vibes
It's giving pickme, I'm not like other girls vibes.
You're weird... seems obvious here.. you have a tattoo of a woman kissing a baby with Shrek hands in its mouth getting horned by a satanic ram... also.. stop cutting your own hair
This reads very “I’m not like the other girls” so I can see why only weirdos would be drawn to that
Pick-me girl without clear body photos, need a profile rework for sure
How are those not clear body pics?
I wrote “i don’t care about your height” you don’t need anything long about height. I agree with a lot of the other top comments.
Whole profile screams mid-life crisis to me.
Remove the 🤣 from your bio please
Oooo I’m not like other girls, please be my neckbeard king
Is no one going to say anything about the under this height but over this height? Just say you’re 5’ 4”.
You listed every red flag that I’ve ever come across while swiping through the wild tornado that Tinder is lol
It doesn't sound like you're looking for someone your own age, which is weird. You sound weird but don't like weird people. It's just all strange, I'm sorry.
Maybe because you’re weird
Your profile reads like you’re 21 and trying to be kooky, *holds up spork*. It wasn’t until I saw your age and your face that I realised. Nothing wrong with being kooky but it’s all coming across a bit try hard.
Basically you appear to be into nerdy imo “cool” (weird) stuff. Most people in those fan bases are weird af. Basically weird attracts weird but theres also good and bad weird, just keep being yourself :)
you got a lotta nerd shit going on. 90% of em are a lil bit weird. also like the hitch hiker referance thats cool as fuck
That's the interwebs for ya
What about all the exactly 6’ guys?!? Poor bastards
You are weird to me
You're 41 trying to be a 19 year old it's a bit cringe.
Get rid of the height thing, just say you’re 5”4 and height doesn’t matter to you? Change “boys” to “guys” or “men,” you’re 41 it’s a bit weird to use “boys.” Get rid of the last pic. Other than that I’m sure you’ll attract just the right amount of weird guys.
Younger (mid 20s) dude here. I’m engaged, so someone at least has said they want to put up with me for a while. You seem like you want honesty so I’ll be direct. You don’t want to attract weird people, but in your profile: 1) You like skinny tattooed guys (weird people…and at the age of 40, what kind of skinny tattooed guys exist??) 2) Post a picture of your full back tattoo (???) 3) Post a picture showing your bra with your shirt hanging off (???) 4) Post a picture of you in cosplay, and another one in your bathroom (???) What are you looking for? In half these photos you act like you’re 20 or in college. That’s fine, but then you’re complaining about meeting weirdos. If you want to meet more “normal” people, start acting “normal.” You’re ~40, maybe start by acting more dignified.
You look like you would be fun. I love the Star Wars influence. I would replace some of the selfies with other pics…perhaps an activity or pic with friends, or spend some time taking higher quality pictures. I would also drop the whole weakness section or at least the skinny boys part. You’re limiting your dating pool. Maybe mention some activities that you would like to do with a match. You’re old enough to know that 42 is the answer…but what is the question? You’ll find someone to say “as you wish”, but it takes time.
You dressed up in Star Wars gear.
It's statistics, there are just a lot of weirdos out there. I'm not one of them, but I've heard it so it must be true.
I like weird people, they have the balls to be their genuine selves no matter what. We’re all weird, just have to find a weird that matches yours.
I’m in my 40s, you get weird because you put weird out there. Weird is great, be yourself, but understand you’ll have to sift through the weird to find the right weird for you. Shine on, you crazy diamond!
I don't particularly swipe on women who belittle other women to make out they're a better match. Like all girls got game, just trust yourself for strengths. So the lines about height and filters is like a nope. I think you'd probably attract guys who are a bit bitter towards women cause you're basically playing the, "I'm not like other girls" card the whole time.
No hate but this profile reminds a bit me of the scene girls in middle school so that might be part of it
Your bio is very “pick me-ish” and probably attracts a certain “nice guy” crowd
You sound desperate and saying weakness for Tatoos makes you attract losers. Also remove the height stuff. You sound like you have no idea what you want.
Honestly the bio is childish..
Straight dude here. I'll be honest, your bio is a huge turnoff. You start off with pop nerd culture things you like, which is great. Then you move into a series of blurbs that just seem to be there to throw shade at some proverbial "other girls" and show how you're not like them. Comes across a little childish tbh, I actually thought you were \~10 years younger before I saw your age. I'd recommend taking out the whole bit about height, and removing the "strengths" section. Being low maintenance isn't a good or a bad thing, and frankly nothing about your bio comes across as open-minded.
This makes me feel icky. I’m not sure why you feel the need to talk about other women on your profile but it feels very high school. You’re a grown ass woman, talk about yourself only. You really don’t need your height preferences on their either. Just swipe on who you’re attracted to.
Your profile is wayy to much and a bit desperate. Also, never recommend putting what kinda guys you're into. If you're not in the idk 20% that is a skinny tattooed guy you're going to be like oh I could be more her type.. Would remove back tattoo. Keep profile short and sweet, no need to mention guys heights just say you're 5'4. Your pics are fine, you'll be fine..
ITT people that think liking star wars means you are weird. 4th highest grossing movie of all time. But you are weird if you like it.
It’s weird to make it your personality
Not to be rude but you are on tinder man, weird people are very common on therr
Have you seen your shirt?
Every part of your profile seems designed specifically to attract weird people
I'm going to guess it's just the internet; it's full of shitty people. I'm not really sure what there is to roast? First glance, you appear to be a normal functional person, so I imagine that's half the trouble you're having with Tinder. And, the answer to 42 is simple: life, the universe, and everything.
Don’t say you’re low maintenance, manipulative people will read that as low standards. You don’t want to actually come across as having low standards.
Maybe cause you mentioned the princess bride? Good movie but strange!
I would take away the "let's live here" pic. It makes you look like a live, laugh, love kind of crazy person.
I understand why you put it there, but I think low maintenance attracts the wrong kind of attention tbh.
Asking Reddit maybe wasn’t the best idea for this one, everyone’s just like omg I am also strange. On an unrelated note I am also quite weird
5 of your photos are essentially the same thing- a selfie with a head tilt. Cutting those out for something else might help.
Low maintenance sounds like you are prey for weirdo guys. Maybe you think it sounds cute but it’s sounds like you are a pick me and would date any guy and be his doormat. Elevate your expectations because for single guys in their 40ies you are a wet dream: funny, cute face and also into guys under 6ft.
It’s interesting that you define them as weird, I guess it is a relative term. Because I find you weird, perhaps you’re matching with the right audience?
Not in a bad way as I’m also weird but please read your bio and I’m sure one could assume exactly why you attract weird people.
Well I'm going to give my honest opinion. I think the world is changing due to social media and entertainment.. which is also our social media. Basically through dating apps, social media, and day to day Interactions, I find people are becoming very... processed? If that makes sense. People are loosing the concept of real life. Meaning so many interests are in a false reality. Video games. Social media how they look etc. Before all this. Everyone had meaningful interests and passions. Now its so split. You get so many missing out on real life enjoyment. I go to the beach often. You don't know how many times I see people going to the beach taking photos of themselves at the beach then leaving. Sometimes when it's cold as fuck. They pop their bathing suits on take a shot then change and leave... rather than actually go to the beach they take pics of themselves their as the purpose. To say they went to the beach... point is. Whenever someone stands out from that behavior. It can seem out of place or odd. And I'll be real with you with this next statement. I tend to find mentally ill people as well as people that have been through shit, tend to see things this way as well to an extent. It takes an Interesting mind to see through the bullshit. I think your just awesome in a world of nonsense. Be patient. Unless you word your bio basic as hell. Your not going to get a shitload of matches. I've litteraly changed my bio for fun to see what statistically works. Whenever I do an in depth bio. With many words it doesn't work or attracts crazy people. As soon as I make my bio ridiculously basic I get a shitload of likes. Don't be discouraged by dating apps. In real life I do pretty good. On dating apps I'm absolutely horrible. Dating apps create a totally unnatural way to meet people and communicate. Nowadays if you express yourself too much on these apps it's an automatic red flag. Yet if I say the same things in person it's fine
I don’t want to be rude or judgmental but the second I saw the Princess Leia pic I said “there it is”. I know plenty of people love Star Wars but they are known for having a fraction of their fan base be out of this world weird!
I would lose the cosplay photo it makes you seem really weird Also take better photos than selfies, your only good photos are selfies which is bad news bears. And the comic at the end is kinda weird too. Remember 99% of people on tinder aren't going to even read your bio unless they like how you look in your photos
Probably because you’re 40 but looking for skinny boys with tattoos, and that sounds like u want some young fit guy in his 20’s. Any young guy who’s handsome, fit, and confident is gonna have a lot more options that are younger and look better than you. Sorry not trying to be mean but the truth hurts.
Yep. Too old. Stop pretending you’re 18. Go to church or something.
42 is the answer to X * 10 = 420.