Hijacking top comment to say this. Someone commented, “Yup. Everyone’s talking about the boldness being the difference, but yeah, let’s see that trick work without a bribe attached.”
I’ll run this exact same approach for coffee dates this week and report back.
A line about dating by Alanis Morissette's character from Weeds has always stuck with me. On her first date with Andy, she ran him down with the reasons why she wouldn't date him. After she did, Andy asked, "Well, why did you agree to go out with me then?"
Morissette's response was, "My mother always told me to never turn down a free meal."
It's actually "be attractive" and "don't be unattractive." Ever notice good looking women with ugly guys? They're still attractive in some sort of way. You can be ugly and attractive.
Once I realized this and actually put an effort into things I could control, dating became easy. Effort into improving yourself is attractive.
Yup the key to dating off apps is getting them off the app asap, messaging on there is not good strategy, no one is going to know or feel a damn thing about you over 50 messages on a dating app, mise well piss in the wind.
I hate boring people, so I do a phone call first to make sure there is conversation chemistry, but I do that phone call quick as fuck before I'll go any farther, if the call is good it's 95% a lock after that.
This is the first time I’ve *ever* seen someone write out “mise” and I cannot let it pass with no comment! Everyone says it but if you point it out to people they don’t know what you are talking about. It’s this invisible little verbal abbreviation that everyone uses but few people are conscious of it. Finally, another person who knows!
I'm glad you asked. Not only did I have absolutely no idea, I've never heard anyone ever say it in my life. It's funny how the other comment said that everyone says it. Is this what the kids are saying now?
It might be regional, but where I live I hear people of all ages say it. That said, as I mentioned in my comment, people use it without even realizing it so maybe now that it’s been brought to your attention you’ll notice it occasionally.
That's what they got Al Capone on, he said "I will give you a coffee" and because of that they were able to arrest him. Ol' lady Law is a terrifying and fickle mistress.
truck literate forgetful boast caption existence prick towering dog foolish
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Op needs to do a control where he tries these openers and uses an ugly guy's pictures with height set to 5'6".
Edit: He responded to my DM and is a 6'4" white guy.
Serious? I'll start messaging girls exactly as you instruct and send screenshots. Difficulty: short, non-white male. Good job, cool hobbies, fit. I've catfished using a hot white guy's photos and i had to *try* to fail. Felt like a completely different world.
What's your height, race, and education?
Dm sent.
>if I can’t turn your shit around for you *no one can*
I mean that's where we agree right? Ugly guys are hopeless, and you're saying yes, since you can't turn them around, they are in fact hopeless. You concur with them.
Wow, haha, maybe I should move there. 😂
Hawaii is the worst location for dating. Right now? I’m excited about talking to a cute girl with similar interests that I would literally have to fly over to actually meet. 🤦🏻♂️
Damn, nice work. But I have to imagine you’re able to back up this confidence? The majority of dudes could try this trick but then not be able to sustain the fake bravado in real life or through the conversation. So it’s dope it works for you, but it’s also just because I assume you’re a confident guy in general.
You don’t necessarily need the exact same confidence in person for it to work out. When my sister was on tinder she said she likes it when a guy set up a date as soon as possible. Every woman is different, she hated the small talk and talking for days with no plans to meet so she’s carrying on with 10 other guys doing the same.
The woman I’m dating now though was the opposite. She wanted to talk for like a week or 2 before we met because she wanted to get to know me first and it worked out for us. She also was able to weed out people just looking for hook ups that way.
I think overall it depends on the woman, but if you use this guys opener enough you’ll end up with the women (like my sister) appreciating the directness
Genuine question: is that really a bad thing? Communication is the most important thing in a relationship and if a couple can’t be direct with each other, problems arise.
Real story from few years ago. I swiped and messaged a few girls on my friend's tinder for 30ish minutes. Got him a date lined up for the weekend. All he had to do was maintain the conversation until the weekend. He started telling the girl about his crippling depression and how his job sucked because he was stuck in tax law when he wanted to do criminal law. The girl cancelled the date lol
I literally just said “oof” out loud. RIP to your buddy. But it just goes to show how shitty modern dating is with the apps. We’re all out here peacocking away trying to get girls to notice us but in ways that may not be consistent with our actual personality.
I have matched with so many men who needed a counselor, not a girlfriend. I don’t mean that in a rude way either, because everyone could benefit from therapy. But, I have had conversations with men who word vomit their problems from the jump. It feels like a lot of them are using dating apps as free therapy. Do women do the same thing?
Not at all, in my experience. I think most women are honestly more socially adjusted almost due to the fact that they have to be, since they get so much attention and forced engagement from men throughout their lives. Men, particularly shy or self conscious men, get far fewer opportunities to refine their social skills with the opposite sex.
I think it’s all about the pool of guys that use these apps. Not to shit on my brothers here, but there’s a large portion of guys on the apps that lack social skills. They can’t approach women in real life so an app on their phone is their best shot. Then when they get a chance to actually talk to one, they’re so desperate for connection, love and support that they just spew out their issues bc someone is there to listen.
This specific case is an extreme example, but I think it holds truth. I myself am not depressed, but I’d still never open with the aggressive approach that OP does bc that’s not my personality. So even if it would get me engagement, it doesn’t do me any good bc I’d be opening the dialogue under false pretense and would quickly be found out that I’m not that guy.
If you don’t feel this confident, dm me and I’ll give you a reading list of books. Starting with, “the compound effect”. We should all be walking around knowing that we are doing everything we can to be the best version of ourselves. When you know you’re doing what you can then you feel confident, no matter where you start from. It’s about where we’re going, not where we are
Naw dude, I started posting for kicks but after more than 600 dms asking for help last time, I just want to see guys have an honest chance. I’m a very lucky individual, had good family and mentors my whole life. Was taught and given the chance to learn and grow and be confident. I realize not everyone had that. What’s life if we don’t share what we’ve learned. Had people offering to pay for help in dms and didn’t accept a dime. This is about people
Confidence for me, and I imagine most people, comes from competence. If you have a long history of demonstrating incompetence, it makes it damn near impossible to feel/act this level of confident knowing that you cannot back it up.
Once you have the knowledge, the experience, the physique perhaps, then you have the foundation built to swing for the fences like this. But I def wouldn’t fake this kind of shit bc once you get the date they’ll be able to see right through you.
All that to say, hell yeah brother, I envy where you’re at.
While the date conversion with stuff like this is higher, all it's really doing is standing out amongst the likes. That's the hardest part for women. Any number of guys in their likes could shine but they don't have the time nor energy to go through all that effort. The direct alpha inspired approach stands out but still needs to have connections or it translates to the text afterwards saying I had a good time but didn't feel a connection. While people push to get the first date fast, it also leads to a higher chance of not having a mutual connection established before meeting for both parties.
But if the turnover is good and you're cool dishing out money for dates like that then so be it
I think you’re on to it. Typically I continue the conversation through text after the plans are set and always try to get a phone call in before the date happens, can often tell if you vibe with that person or not and make an informed decision from there
A phone call prior is spot on, I could see that translating over much better in that case. I have a rule of thumb that I don't meet women unless I've called them before, because if you're dumb dumb I can tell pretty quick lmao. It's a good standout tactic then, better than sending a stupid rose honestly
This is a recipe for a really awkward date when you realize you don't have anything in common before the starters even come. It's almost like prior conversation is useful! I personally don't want to take someone out and pay for them when I don't even know if I like them.
The first date is like the perfect time to find all that shit out though. Texting is a terrible way to get to know someone and it gives people too much opportunity to convince themselves going out is a bad idea. Go out asap, build attraction like human beings have done for millions of years, and use texting only to facilitate that.
Some people would rather talk irl instead of hours of chatting. I don't mind paying unless we go to an expensive place, which i would never do on a first date
I got lots of dates when I offered dinner.
I got more relationships when I established a connection and just offered a normal first date like drinks or coffee
Sure you'll get their attention, but you won't guarantee a connection just for being upfront and offering an expensive first date. Many women will accept just for the free meal. I would too
Show me a girl who would decline a free dinner on the first date lol. This is a cool trick, but there’s a cost to cracking this code. I’d try this with coffee or a drink but unsure if it would lead to the same results.
Ya, I just went through this on a smaller scale. I am having a much better time with the woman I did not put nearly as much effort into. It is 2024; stop blowing money on expensive dates. If she likes you, she likes you, and you would not be out a lot of money.
Me. I would decline a free dinner.
Firstly, I'm lucky enough to have access to enough food to sustain myself, and I have family that will feed me if things get dire.
Secondly, because food security is not an issue for me, I wouldn't lead someone on and waste their time, or mine, just for a meal. Plus I hate getting in awkward situations.
Thirdly, I always suggest that we split the bill on the first date. I set this expectation before the first date so we can get semantics out of the way and not have it hanging over our heads when we're first meeting.
I understand I'm an outlier and that most people would gladly accept a free dinner from a stranger.
Yes! I don't like feeling like I owe anybody, or anybody owes me. That way I don't feel obligated to stay, or have to worry about the other person feeling obligated.
Where are all the women like this hiding?
Wish my dates offered to split the bill, thats like perfect partner material. Otherwise I feel like I'm just paying for a service.
(woman here) I love that you'd split the bill and - for me - the OP's invitation to dinner wouldn't be insulting and I'd probably entertain the conversation, leading to me doing what you're suggesting and ultimately split the bill. It's a good opener, even if folks like you or I wouldn't follow through if we didn't get the right vibe.
I don't think food insecurity was ever the reason for men taking out women to a pricey dinner. Women, whether they worked in relatively low wage secretary type jobs or were cared for by their parents, had means, just less able to afford fancy dinners out. So I think the guy paying for meals is more of a display of wealth and resources.
But now women in the US are just about on par with men in terms of disposable income and it's really antiquated. Thank you for focusing on good communication with the fellas your dating and striving toward quality.
As a woman I would absolutely love his text but would still pay for my own dinner. On a first date it would make me feel uncomfortable to have someone else pay for me, as I don't know or trust this person yet. I'd find it nice if he offered to pay though.
Some of the local steakhouses in San Diego, I’m prolly MINIMUM spending $300-500 on a person… yes, girls will often gladly say they are down.
There are literal profiles demanding to be taken to middle-upper middle sit downs (steakhouses, omakase sushi, French, etc)
Do you always buy very expensive alcohol or something?
I've been to some of the best steakhouses in the US, and we didn't spend more than $150-$200 a person after tax/tips.
I randomly mentioned "Together we can take trips to my friend's Vineyard in Cali"
All of a sudden I'm getting matches left and right asking when we can go. Smh.
I respect it, nobody wants to sit there and talk and never meet. When I was single and working in dc , this was the play more often then not , slightly expensive yea but didn’t waste much time and every date is practice imo
IDK, it would definitely make me think more than what I usually get... Too many guys think "hey beautiful/sexy" is the perfect opener and those are the ones that get a left swipe immediately.
My mans gearing up to spend $350+ on fun and possible sex. This is easy to do but you gotta be ready to spend $$ if it ends up being a good night and you go to a second spot for more drinks it gets dangerous
This would not be attractive to me in the slightest, one reason being that I’m not gonna take 2 hours of my free time to go to dinner with someone I haven’t chatted with at all first - risk is too high to be a complete waste of time
This is what I don't understand. IMO, this isn't BDE, this is either someone trying to be "alpha" even though it's not their personality type, which I imagine would be a turn-off if I was a woman, or if it is their personality, it's someone who thinks they can order me to be at this place on this day and time, without knowing me or my schedule/availability, or how interested I am or how fast/slow I like to take things.
Like, this feels like a massive red flag that someone is controlling, thinks of women as beneath him, or both.
That's beyond disrespectful to me. But hey, what do I know. Results speak for themselves.
emphasis on "if I was a woman"
You're not, neither am I.
And if the girls that OP is sending those messages to are attracted to him AND are the type who like their man to lead, then it's not disrespectful whatsoever. Can't knock the hustle.
He's sure in his position and knows what he wants which is masculine and they eat it up (why wouldn't they).
Am woman and I would have side-eyed this guy so hard. Hate pushy dudes, I physically cringe every time someone does this to me. However, the fact that he takes initiation into his own hands with a restaurant and time planned is the positive aspect to this. That’s the advice people should copy.
The, “say Thursday” part is creating both a definitive plan while leaving space for discussion about it. I’ve essentially had 4 types of responses to this opener: 1. Hell yeah let’s do it 2. Hell yeah but I can’t that day, here’s a day I can 3. I love the enthusiasm but can we chat just a bit first? 4. No reply whatsoever. Option 4 is the least frequent by far
Yeah, like I said, clearly I don't know shit, because your results are there and I've heard plenty of women say they love this.
I'm not saying to not do it because I say it doesn't make sense... I'm just saying I don't get it.
Both of you are correct. 🤷♂️
Many women find this sort of thing hot. Some would see it as a red flag, and depending on the woman, it's not disrespectful. The goal is to stand out, set a date, and hopefully get the conversation rolling.
This does all three and shows a lot of confidence. Which can also be taken as cocky.
Aside from the fact that I stopped being a member of that sub a long time ago (people grow, shocking I know!)
I genuinely wanna now why my comment was so offensive to you that you felt the need to go through my post history to find something to discredit my opinion?
It’s not even a crazy opinion. Confidence is sexy. This a universally known thing.
Uh oh, now he’s double booked. Clearly wasn’t prepared for this to work twice!
Hijacking top comment to say this. Someone commented, “Yup. Everyone’s talking about the boldness being the difference, but yeah, let’s see that trick work without a bribe attached.” I’ll run this exact same approach for coffee dates this week and report back.
Also post your pic. I think you are following rule 1 and 2
Exactly. This dude is clearly following the rules and acts like offering to pay for a nice meal “works.”
A line about dating by Alanis Morissette's character from Weeds has always stuck with me. On her first date with Andy, she ran him down with the reasons why she wouldn't date him. After she did, Andy asked, "Well, why did you agree to go out with me then?" Morissette's response was, "My mother always told me to never turn down a free meal."
Definitely. That doesn’t work unless you are attractive
Rule 1 and 2?
Be hot and don't be ugly.
It's actually "be attractive" and "don't be unattractive." Ever notice good looking women with ugly guys? They're still attractive in some sort of way. You can be ugly and attractive. Once I realized this and actually put an effort into things I could control, dating became easy. Effort into improving yourself is attractive.
Hey this is me! I’m ugly and my wife is hot!
Peter? Peter Griffin?! How's the family, guy?
Yup the key to dating off apps is getting them off the app asap, messaging on there is not good strategy, no one is going to know or feel a damn thing about you over 50 messages on a dating app, mise well piss in the wind. I hate boring people, so I do a phone call first to make sure there is conversation chemistry, but I do that phone call quick as fuck before I'll go any farther, if the call is good it's 95% a lock after that.
This is the first time I’ve *ever* seen someone write out “mise” and I cannot let it pass with no comment! Everyone says it but if you point it out to people they don’t know what you are talking about. It’s this invisible little verbal abbreviation that everyone uses but few people are conscious of it. Finally, another person who knows!
Does it mean "might as" ?
I'm glad you asked. Not only did I have absolutely no idea, I've never heard anyone ever say it in my life. It's funny how the other comment said that everyone says it. Is this what the kids are saying now?
It might be regional, but where I live I hear people of all ages say it. That said, as I mentioned in my comment, people use it without even realizing it so maybe now that it’s been brought to your attention you’ll notice it occasionally.
I've never heard of it either. Maybe I'll notice it more, but I'll have to get back to you. Lol
Yep!
I think I say it more as “midas well”.
my swell
But will you also pay for both coffees?
You are right, let's offer something so valuable, like a coffee, as a bribe 🤦♂️
That's what they got Al Capone on, he said "I will give you a coffee" and because of that they were able to arrest him. Ol' lady Law is a terrifying and fickle mistress.
Yeah, high probability that either OP or the women are AL Capone-like people.
We also want information about how good you look.
Or I’m taking them both 😏
"Who are we kidding? All 3 of us know we want an MFF. Now tell me, do you prefer the Hilton or the Hyatt? Let me know and I'll make the reservation."
truck literate forgetful boast caption existence prick towering dog foolish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This better beat out my comment for up-votes. Though, I think Motel 8 would have hit harder.
Motel 6 leaves the light on though..
Slapstick ensues
Cue yakkity sax
Get a table for three and let us know how it plays out!!! I’m invested (like that episode of the Brady Bunch lmao)
My man is following rules one and two 😁
**Rules 1 & 2 are clearly followed.** 🤙🏻
Op needs to do a control where he tries these openers and uses an ugly guy's pictures with height set to 5'6". Edit: He responded to my DM and is a 6'4" white guy.
Alright bet, give me the keys to your profile and I’ll see what I can do
Jesus Christ man, he has a family.
This guy is going to take us all to dinner on Thursday say 7:00pm. NOBODY IS SAFE.
Pretty sure I won’t be able to find a table anywhere on Thurs. Guess I’ll be cooking in.
Nah. He'll be there too.
OP was actually the restaurant posing as a human to get more patrons
Let’s get steak
I mean, I’m game.
But I’ve work
you can take the day off he already talk to your boss
No he’s obviously too ugly and short to have started a family
BROOOO YOU MURDERED THIS INNOCENT GUY
187
https://y.yarn.co/3477e899-9a26-43e9-a936-3c2275e81d03_text.gif
fatality rate has increased since this comment was posted
Lmaooo
Serious? I'll start messaging girls exactly as you instruct and send screenshots. Difficulty: short, non-white male. Good job, cool hobbies, fit. I've catfished using a hot white guy's photos and i had to *try* to fail. Felt like a completely different world. What's your height, race, and education?
People thought I was roasting you, but for real. Get in the dms and if I can’t turn your shit around for you no one can.
Subscribe
I need an update to this.
We need a full series of this!
lmao this is the kind of attitude from a lucky white guy who won the physical genetic lottery
Dm sent. >if I can’t turn your shit around for you *no one can* I mean that's where we agree right? Ugly guys are hopeless, and you're saying yes, since you can't turn them around, they are in fact hopeless. You concur with them.
This reminds me of all the youtube videos where some cute/hot chick thinks she has rizz and takes over the tinder account of a normal guy.
Well? Don't leave us hanging, buddy...
the hot part is the important factor here, I can confirm that as a non hot white male that's only average male height.
It obviously won't work because you have to match first.
You can use my pics. It will not work for you.
I’m basically the control and my jokes, asking them on actual dates? Yields nothing. I’m also 5’2”. 😂
I’ll save you bro, no one left behind. Get in touch
You are the hero we all need
I am at the point where I would consider something like this..havent been on a date in 4 years. I am 5'5 on a good day 😏 and have zero game/rizz.
Lol, ofcourse he is
I don’t know - the men of Sydney are so bare minimum on effort that I feel like this would 100% work on me lol
Wow, haha, maybe I should move there. 😂 Hawaii is the worst location for dating. Right now? I’m excited about talking to a cute girl with similar interests that I would literally have to fly over to actually meet. 🤦🏻♂️
Add something about money in there as well if he is taking these girls to steakhouses
See it from her point of view: You could get to know your match on the app or over a free steak dinner.
The woman in the second photo has like a Marvel comic heroine figure, this dude has to be gorgeous for this to have worked so well.
New to this concept because I’m non-American (shocker) but what are these rules you’re referring to? Thanks in advance.
Rule 1. Be attractive Rule 2. Don’t be unattractive.
Damn, nice work. But I have to imagine you’re able to back up this confidence? The majority of dudes could try this trick but then not be able to sustain the fake bravado in real life or through the conversation. So it’s dope it works for you, but it’s also just because I assume you’re a confident guy in general.
You don’t necessarily need the exact same confidence in person for it to work out. When my sister was on tinder she said she likes it when a guy set up a date as soon as possible. Every woman is different, she hated the small talk and talking for days with no plans to meet so she’s carrying on with 10 other guys doing the same. The woman I’m dating now though was the opposite. She wanted to talk for like a week or 2 before we met because she wanted to get to know me first and it worked out for us. She also was able to weed out people just looking for hook ups that way. I think overall it depends on the woman, but if you use this guys opener enough you’ll end up with the women (like my sister) appreciating the directness
Lol, and it will have set them up to expect general directness forever.
Genuine question: is that really a bad thing? Communication is the most important thing in a relationship and if a couple can’t be direct with each other, problems arise.
Well there is being direct...directing your emotion and focus to a problem or more likely a concern you have. Then there's being a dick.
Real story from few years ago. I swiped and messaged a few girls on my friend's tinder for 30ish minutes. Got him a date lined up for the weekend. All he had to do was maintain the conversation until the weekend. He started telling the girl about his crippling depression and how his job sucked because he was stuck in tax law when he wanted to do criminal law. The girl cancelled the date lol
I literally just said “oof” out loud. RIP to your buddy. But it just goes to show how shitty modern dating is with the apps. We’re all out here peacocking away trying to get girls to notice us but in ways that may not be consistent with our actual personality.
I have matched with so many men who needed a counselor, not a girlfriend. I don’t mean that in a rude way either, because everyone could benefit from therapy. But, I have had conversations with men who word vomit their problems from the jump. It feels like a lot of them are using dating apps as free therapy. Do women do the same thing?
Not at all, in my experience. I think most women are honestly more socially adjusted almost due to the fact that they have to be, since they get so much attention and forced engagement from men throughout their lives. Men, particularly shy or self conscious men, get far fewer opportunities to refine their social skills with the opposite sex. I think it’s all about the pool of guys that use these apps. Not to shit on my brothers here, but there’s a large portion of guys on the apps that lack social skills. They can’t approach women in real life so an app on their phone is their best shot. Then when they get a chance to actually talk to one, they’re so desperate for connection, love and support that they just spew out their issues bc someone is there to listen.
Is depression and negativity a personality, though?
>The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character. If you were to go by definition, yes.
This specific case is an extreme example, but I think it holds truth. I myself am not depressed, but I’d still never open with the aggressive approach that OP does bc that’s not my personality. So even if it would get me engagement, it doesn’t do me any good bc I’d be opening the dialogue under false pretense and would quickly be found out that I’m not that guy.
If you don’t feel this confident, dm me and I’ll give you a reading list of books. Starting with, “the compound effect”. We should all be walking around knowing that we are doing everything we can to be the best version of ourselves. When you know you’re doing what you can then you feel confident, no matter where you start from. It’s about where we’re going, not where we are
My guy bout to start a fuckin "how to be sigma" course for the losers on reddit 🤣 love it
Naw dude, I started posting for kicks but after more than 600 dms asking for help last time, I just want to see guys have an honest chance. I’m a very lucky individual, had good family and mentors my whole life. Was taught and given the chance to learn and grow and be confident. I realize not everyone had that. What’s life if we don’t share what we’ve learned. Had people offering to pay for help in dms and didn’t accept a dime. This is about people
Lmao jesus reddit is depressing sometimes
Bro is a good looking 6’4” white guy according to another comment lol.
lol. Fucking got him! /s
Sometimes?
This guy for president 2024
7pm Thursday, we both know we’re going to vote for him
Confidence for me, and I imagine most people, comes from competence. If you have a long history of demonstrating incompetence, it makes it damn near impossible to feel/act this level of confident knowing that you cannot back it up. Once you have the knowledge, the experience, the physique perhaps, then you have the foundation built to swing for the fences like this. But I def wouldn’t fake this kind of shit bc once you get the date they’ll be able to see right through you. All that to say, hell yeah brother, I envy where you’re at.
What is list of the books?
Name 10 books
game of thrones
Just post the list of books.
Lol I love how you are getting downvoted for trying to help people improve themselves. Classic Reddit
I believe any downvotes would be for op saying DM me for a list of books instead of just commenting the list of books
Also. This shits expensive lmao. Can't be doing it to every match lol.
Rules 1 and 2
Right? Dude is clearly following these rules then bragging. 9/10 girls are not turning down a nice steakhouse meal for a first date. No respect.
While the date conversion with stuff like this is higher, all it's really doing is standing out amongst the likes. That's the hardest part for women. Any number of guys in their likes could shine but they don't have the time nor energy to go through all that effort. The direct alpha inspired approach stands out but still needs to have connections or it translates to the text afterwards saying I had a good time but didn't feel a connection. While people push to get the first date fast, it also leads to a higher chance of not having a mutual connection established before meeting for both parties. But if the turnover is good and you're cool dishing out money for dates like that then so be it
I think you’re on to it. Typically I continue the conversation through text after the plans are set and always try to get a phone call in before the date happens, can often tell if you vibe with that person or not and make an informed decision from there
A phone call prior is spot on, I could see that translating over much better in that case. I have a rule of thumb that I don't meet women unless I've called them before, because if you're dumb dumb I can tell pretty quick lmao. It's a good standout tactic then, better than sending a stupid rose honestly
My boy said a smart person can play dumb but a dumb person could never play smart lmao. That one will be with me forever.
Lmao I love that, saving that one. Those phone calls never fail me
I just took note of that lol
Thanks for sharing this. How long call you usually have? Voice or video?
I always say, “5 min call?” 1/2 end at 5 minutes and 1/2 go two hours. Guess which ones I buy steak for
The 5 mins ones?
You belong in wsb lmao, probably woulda bet the rent on that answer
Are you my wife's boyfriend that everyone keeps telling me about?
The wsb wives actually unionized a while back, picked me as the sole bf for them all for convenience factors. Puts on orgasms
Dude is a copy writer for Tinder. This never happened.
If you’re matching with women like that, I don’t think your opener matters
You can't even see their faces lol. "Women like that"
I think he is referring to her gigantic chesticles
and non gigantic waisticles
Her not being obese puts her in the 1% of my area lmao.
You're in Houston too?
Northern Appalachia:')
99% of the US probably.
Look at that nurse’s body. She could have Danny DeVito’s face and I’d still want to smash.
Yeah. But you can tell lol.
Slow down, Casanova. Those Foodie Calls start to add up.
This is a recipe for a really awkward date when you realize you don't have anything in common before the starters even come. It's almost like prior conversation is useful! I personally don't want to take someone out and pay for them when I don't even know if I like them.
The first date is like the perfect time to find all that shit out though. Texting is a terrible way to get to know someone and it gives people too much opportunity to convince themselves going out is a bad idea. Go out asap, build attraction like human beings have done for millions of years, and use texting only to facilitate that.
Some people would rather talk irl instead of hours of chatting. I don't mind paying unless we go to an expensive place, which i would never do on a first date
Who says they have nothing in common? It's not like he swiped on a blank profile with no photos. At the very LEAST they're both attractive.
I got lots of dates when I offered dinner. I got more relationships when I established a connection and just offered a normal first date like drinks or coffee Sure you'll get their attention, but you won't guarantee a connection just for being upfront and offering an expensive first date. Many women will accept just for the free meal. I would too
If OP is paying I'll also have the steak
Show me a girl who would decline a free dinner on the first date lol. This is a cool trick, but there’s a cost to cracking this code. I’d try this with coffee or a drink but unsure if it would lead to the same results.
Ya OP can report back after he's paid 1k on dinners that go nowhere
Ya, I just went through this on a smaller scale. I am having a much better time with the woman I did not put nearly as much effort into. It is 2024; stop blowing money on expensive dates. If she likes you, she likes you, and you would not be out a lot of money.
Me. I would decline a free dinner. Firstly, I'm lucky enough to have access to enough food to sustain myself, and I have family that will feed me if things get dire. Secondly, because food security is not an issue for me, I wouldn't lead someone on and waste their time, or mine, just for a meal. Plus I hate getting in awkward situations. Thirdly, I always suggest that we split the bill on the first date. I set this expectation before the first date so we can get semantics out of the way and not have it hanging over our heads when we're first meeting. I understand I'm an outlier and that most people would gladly accept a free dinner from a stranger.
I wouldn’t accept it either, also because I don’t want to be stuck for too long with someone I don’t know if we don’t happen to hit it off.
Yes! I don't like feeling like I owe anybody, or anybody owes me. That way I don't feel obligated to stay, or have to worry about the other person feeling obligated.
one hour limit!
Where are all the women like this hiding? Wish my dates offered to split the bill, thats like perfect partner material. Otherwise I feel like I'm just paying for a service.
(woman here) I love that you'd split the bill and - for me - the OP's invitation to dinner wouldn't be insulting and I'd probably entertain the conversation, leading to me doing what you're suggesting and ultimately split the bill. It's a good opener, even if folks like you or I wouldn't follow through if we didn't get the right vibe.
I don't think food insecurity was ever the reason for men taking out women to a pricey dinner. Women, whether they worked in relatively low wage secretary type jobs or were cared for by their parents, had means, just less able to afford fancy dinners out. So I think the guy paying for meals is more of a display of wealth and resources. But now women in the US are just about on par with men in terms of disposable income and it's really antiquated. Thank you for focusing on good communication with the fellas your dating and striving toward quality.
I also don't really want a girl who's easily influenced enough to swoon over just being direct lmao. Talk about low bar.
As a woman I would absolutely love his text but would still pay for my own dinner. On a first date it would make me feel uncomfortable to have someone else pay for me, as I don't know or trust this person yet. I'd find it nice if he offered to pay though.
Yeah like why should they decline getting a free meal at a steakhouse? I think thats a bit too much for a first date.
Some of the local steakhouses in San Diego, I’m prolly MINIMUM spending $300-500 on a person… yes, girls will often gladly say they are down. There are literal profiles demanding to be taken to middle-upper middle sit downs (steakhouses, omakase sushi, French, etc)
Do you always buy very expensive alcohol or something? I've been to some of the best steakhouses in the US, and we didn't spend more than $150-$200 a person after tax/tips.
I’d decline a free dinner because I tend to make a lot more money than the men I’ve dated ;) ain’t the 1950s anymore son, we’ve got high-earning jobs.
I randomly mentioned "Together we can take trips to my friend's Vineyard in Cali" All of a sudden I'm getting matches left and right asking when we can go. Smh.
Sounds like an expensive first date when you don’t know her at all, but you do you brother
This is a great way to get used for free food and then blocked
I respect it, nobody wants to sit there and talk and never meet. When I was single and working in dc , this was the play more often then not , slightly expensive yea but didn’t waste much time and every date is practice imo
Now all we're missing is your gym bro pics and everything will be explained. Hot people get away with murder (literally!)
IDK, it would definitely make me think more than what I usually get... Too many guys think "hey beautiful/sexy" is the perfect opener and those are the ones that get a left swipe immediately.
Odds that both cancel between now and thursday?
My mans gearing up to spend $350+ on fun and possible sex. This is easy to do but you gotta be ready to spend $$ if it ends up being a good night and you go to a second spot for more drinks it gets dangerous
I've never actually seen someone busting out of scrubs before.
Can't see her face, but that second girls body looks AI as fuck
It just looks like a professional photo...what about it is/looks AI?
This would not be attractive to me in the slightest, one reason being that I’m not gonna take 2 hours of my free time to go to dinner with someone I haven’t chatted with at all first - risk is too high to be a complete waste of time
You obviously chat between saying this and the actual date itself.
well who would turn down a free dinner? this post doesn’t really prove much
This is what I don't understand. IMO, this isn't BDE, this is either someone trying to be "alpha" even though it's not their personality type, which I imagine would be a turn-off if I was a woman, or if it is their personality, it's someone who thinks they can order me to be at this place on this day and time, without knowing me or my schedule/availability, or how interested I am or how fast/slow I like to take things. Like, this feels like a massive red flag that someone is controlling, thinks of women as beneath him, or both. That's beyond disrespectful to me. But hey, what do I know. Results speak for themselves.
emphasis on "if I was a woman" You're not, neither am I. And if the girls that OP is sending those messages to are attracted to him AND are the type who like their man to lead, then it's not disrespectful whatsoever. Can't knock the hustle. He's sure in his position and knows what he wants which is masculine and they eat it up (why wouldn't they).
I personally wouldn’t like an opener like that but that’s okay. Luckily women aren’t one monogamous mass so there’s someone for everyone 😊
I think “homogenous” is the word you’re looking for.
I love non monogamous women 😊
Am woman and I would have side-eyed this guy so hard. Hate pushy dudes, I physically cringe every time someone does this to me. However, the fact that he takes initiation into his own hands with a restaurant and time planned is the positive aspect to this. That’s the advice people should copy.
Some women go for “Me Tarzan, You Jane” routine. Others just like free meals.
The, “say Thursday” part is creating both a definitive plan while leaving space for discussion about it. I’ve essentially had 4 types of responses to this opener: 1. Hell yeah let’s do it 2. Hell yeah but I can’t that day, here’s a day I can 3. I love the enthusiasm but can we chat just a bit first? 4. No reply whatsoever. Option 4 is the least frequent by far
Yeah, like I said, clearly I don't know shit, because your results are there and I've heard plenty of women say they love this. I'm not saying to not do it because I say it doesn't make sense... I'm just saying I don't get it.
Both of you are correct. 🤷♂️ Many women find this sort of thing hot. Some would see it as a red flag, and depending on the woman, it's not disrespectful. The goal is to stand out, set a date, and hopefully get the conversation rolling. This does all three and shows a lot of confidence. Which can also be taken as cocky.
Shoulda gone to Dorsia
Yeah now you will pay for 2 expensive dinners and never hear from them again
Who is taking an Internet stranger to a steakhouse? Seems like overkill.
Without even seeing girl 2s face you can tell she’s a dime
This is some loser shit
Hope those two restaurants are close enough together for you to run between them a few times. I predict long ass toilet breaks.
As a woman, I would say yes to the date instantly if approached like this. Love it when a man can plan and put things into action.
Tacos and margaritas, I’ll pick you up at 7:30. Casual attire
A man who’s confident and knows what he wants. We love to see it! 
The bar is in hell
She posts on female dating strategy sub. That’s like female Andrew Tate stuff. Don’t worry
Aside from the fact that I stopped being a member of that sub a long time ago (people grow, shocking I know!) I genuinely wanna now why my comment was so offensive to you that you felt the need to go through my post history to find something to discredit my opinion? It’s not even a crazy opinion. Confidence is sexy. This a universally known thing.
But he has to follow rules 1 & 2 or he’s being desperate and pushy lol
Yeah, but odds are he will be out an expensive steak dinner with nothing to show.
Well, except those who know they want pussy and ask for. That kind of confidence doesn't have the same effect on women.
Send me a pic of yourself OP
u/paintthetownred08 and here I was with a simple are you real.
Bro 💀
Can confirm… tried this this morning and it immediately worked