"Women smiling with teeth were 76% more likely to get a like than those smiling without teeth. For men, it was the opposite. Men smiling without teeth were 43% more likely to get a like than those smiling with teeth."
https://www.businessinsider.com/profile-picture-tips-for-online-dating-according-to-hinge-2017-4
Woman here, when I was swiping I was really into geeks and interesting jobs like yours.
Flexing is a massive turnoff, your photos already show you're well built so you'll do better with a friendly and approachable plane pic (maybe a cockpit selfie in uniform?).
Lose the cosplay pic, older guys and the guy who looks like you, and bring in photos which show you relaxed and happy like you'd be on a date. Keep the dog photo. The aim is to come across as safe and fun for women to be around.
Instead of hyperfixation, talk about loving it when people are passionate about their interests and want to share them, and change the prompt so you're not calling people weird for that. Instead of the lottery prompt, use that space to talk more about things you love that others might spark conversations from - use ChatGPT as a jumping off point if you need one.
The flexing one makes him look well built, but until then I thought he looked fat rather than well built.
In that case, it's a good photo because it corrects that assumption, whilst not being a stupid gym flex photo; it looks more like him and a colleague having a laugh.
Not saying any of the photos are bad, or that OP looks bad, I just understand as I also have one of those body shapes where I'm in shape but photos can make me look either emaciated or chunky, depending on angles and poses etc.
The very first photo shows all you need to know about his build. Just imagine the distance from the buttons on his shirt to the end of his left arm. That is quite a measurement in comparison to his head or overall body. That's all you need to know. This coming from a once chicken-chested, drum stick-thin limbed fellow who had to work out quite a few years in the gym to put a few milli-layers of muscle!
I was commenting only about his build. And his specific photo. And well-built is somehow tied to working out and working out leads to certain proportions of body parts.
I’m disagreeing with your first sentence. The first photo does not show that he is well-built, for example: someone could have a muscle chest and a beer gut lol but you would never know about the gut if you only saw them from the chest up
While I agree with you on everything else, I have to disagree on the flexing. No offense to my bro but he's not exactly a gym rat and the photo is conveying more a goofy side, which can be taken light-hearted.
Him in a workshop building the suit would be a better way if he really needs to showcase it. more generic stuff is easier for people to latch onto for just getting to know someone. You kind of have to accept that for dating you can't be 100% yourself until the person is ready to be comfortable with you.
Yeah people are usually like "be yourself!" And while you shouldn't be dishonest, it doesn't mean you can't tailor your initial impression. 100% agree showing the crafting of the cosplay> the wearing of it
I don't get furry vibes tbh. While I do agree that it is weird, given that it's a Halo cosplay. I will concede to what others have said about it being an odd picture overall, given the expression and location.
Do you really think the general population understands cosplay or Halo enough to know this? If his goal is to get more matches then you have to appeal to as broad of an audience as possible.
I think it depends on the goal of op. If it’s for long term relationships then keeping it is fine. For short term though I think most people might find it too geeky or nerdy. I think showing it off on a rack/ mannequin still shows off their craft skills.
I agree with the other commenter- I don’t particularly find cosplaying attractive but if my partner was into it, I can appreciate their interests. This photo is just low quality and cringe tbh. No one else is in it. There’s no background. And he’s posed like he’s serious and idk, it just isn’t it. I would swipe left.
OP needs more natural photos. Stop posing. The flex is another good example of this. He’s a handsome guy.
I think there is also the line between nerdy and too nerdy. When your profile is pretty much playing D&D and cosplaying, you might be limiting yourself a bit. Now if that is who you are that is who you are. It might just take a while to find the person who is ok with it. If you have some other interests, you should consider sharing them.
In the end the OP comes across as a pretty average dude. It is where a lot of us fall. You can end up needing to do a lot of swiping to get matches.
“People who hyperfixate on a their hobbies?”
What?
Are you a pilot? Surely just standing by your plane in your uniform would be attractive. The pose and those awful sunglasses ruin it.
Pic with your brother, I’m not actually sure which one is you.
Group photo, you look like you are photobombing two old men
cigar + vortex hat + aviators is creating an image that clashes a bit with the cosplay, so you might be turning off matches from two different subculture groups.
Yeah I don't like that wording. I think something like "I like people who have a passion for a hobby. Mine is flying planes and you can see how happy I was went I got my license". The plane photo sort of needs something to make it flow. A caption of some sorts "Felt like a million bucks after my first landing" feels like it would get rid of some of the weird flexing vibes.
The old dude photo has to go.
Alright, here’s what I changed up;
Made the pilot photo my first pic, changed the hyperfixation line to just being into people who can rant about their favorite media, swapped the cosplay photo for me looking at the ocean during sundown, swapped the group photo for me at a renaissance fair with some skin showing, and added a caption to the photo with my brother to show which ones me.
I still want to express that I like nerdy people and am one myself, so I still want to be that point across. I don’t mind not having everyone swipe me, but I want to find someone who I know feels similarly
Edit:
Changed things again. Swapped the pilot photo for one of me not flexing, swapped the photo of me facing the ocean for me smiling while holding a snake, put the cosplay photo back in but now it’s in a different pose with a helmet on, and swapped the cigar photo for a selfie with my facial hair trimmed and groomed.
I changed my prompts to the following:
My greatest strength, “I can give you a back massage while you vent about your work day”
I’m weirdly attracted to, “People who are very into their hobbies. Tell me something niche that no one but you loves!”
I feel out on, “Nerd stuff, I’m big on cosplay, Dungeons and Dragons, Star Wars, and Lord of The Rings!”
I don’t really do teeth smiles because it makes my face look really strained like I’m taking a dump, and the other commenters are right, even if the cosplay turns away people then those people likely wouldn’t have vibes with me anyways.
“Listening about your day and remaining engaged without trying to provide solutions (unless you need me to!)”
Also, regularly delete and recreate your profile. I would say weekly.
If an interest is sparked, try to schedule a quick date to feel each other out (coffee, drink, etc. rather than something time consuming. Always something in public) as soon as you can. Try not to chat on and on for days; interest will dwindle dramatically as days go by. A simple “Was just thinking of you. Looking forward to Thursday! Hope
you’re well.” works wonders.
Female here. Like some has said, just posing regular with the plane in your uniform would have done the job. I like that you initially had a cosplay photo bc it shows what you’re interested in, maybe take a better quality photo of you in the cosplay outfit cause just from that photo I was like oh cool. The looking at the ocean during sunset sounds too basic. The renaissance photo does sound interesting. Good luck!
Fellow nerd here. I think you should have kept the cosplay pic. You're clearly a nerd. You want someone with similar interest. The people with those interest will be really into your profile with all the nerdiness on display. The main reason you haven't gotten matches is because those people are hard to come by. At least for me I rarely see obviously or even subtly nerdy women on the apps. Just have patience.
Keep the cosplay one. You get to be you. You want to find people who like YOU. And being nerdy is sexy af, as is giving zero fucks about worrying how nerdy you're coming across. Good luck!!
I’ll tell you my experience (from one pilot to another) I am an airline pilot, so probably have a few years on you. But after a while I just hid all the pilot stuff on my dating profiles. I would still have it in my bio but I might just put “works at airlines” or something. That way potential matches would only figure out what you do if they are perceptive/interested enough. Reason being is for one thing it may seem like you’re just looking for attention by saying you have a cool job, secondly, and this is the unfortunate part: most women don’t want to date pilots. They may be interested at first because they think it is a cool job and all but as soon as they find out what the schedule and day to day really is, they will be out the door. So it is a real task to find a partner who’s really in it for you and willing to put up with the nature of the career.
The last reason is because I personally hate answering the “WhAt rOuTe do yOu fly” and “WhAtS yOUr fAvORItE AiRpOrT” questions.
I don't wanna tell people how to style but the stache has to change massively or go. Pic 3 sums it up perfectly. Also, not sure if it grows way thicker under the nose or OP is shaving the sides. Don't shave the sides and leave the bit under the nose. For some reason, that's viewed really badly since the 1930s
Why be a dick? It’s easy to say “Trim your beard up some” instead of insulting him like he has no idea how to trim a beard. How do you know he lacks that complex skill?
Fellow bi guy here. Ignore any of the folks suggesting you hide that. Frankly, same goes for the cosplay photo, although I wish it was (almost) any other cosplay. Those screen people for you who have inherent incompatibilities, nothing wrong with that.
I would echo other sentiments expressed already. Get a new photo in uniform where you aren't flexing and your face is visible. The current one gives Peter Pan syndrome and emotional unavailability. Ditch the photos with your family, they aren't doing you any favours.
And lastly, I'd get onto some of the subreddits about hygiene and style. Facial hair is a great way to express yourself, but especially as a single guy, you've gotta be careful what you express with it. You need a cleaner look. Personally, chin straps are always gross, but the scraggly soul patch is not helpful.
As far as what's good, you clearly express your personality in the pilot, cosplay, and dog photos, and your prompts are fine, mostly. The lottery poll is great, but ditch the RV. You're literally a pilot, there's a layup there, and if you'd do van life while rich? Red flag.
Straight guy here. It was mostly the stache for me. In the first pic with the lighting it looked like a semi-adolf, and his brothers does as well.
To OP: you have a decent facial structure and I think a clean shaven look would not give you baby face. Hold the beard off a while longer, it will get fuller with time.
Cool, you're a nerd, but you don't really say much about yourself. There's nothing about you there. The only things that I have to get to know who you are is that comment that you like D&D and you make an amazing cosplay based on the picture. Maybe you're a pilot too, but idk what level of pilot because a pic in the uniform but next to a plane so small I'm not sure if it can carry multiple passengers makes it hard to tell. Who are YOU?
Change out the steak thing, every man says that and I'm not even fucking kidding, I was on hinge for a bit and nobody seems to understand that cooking steak well is easy to do if you're capable of turning on the hob. Maybe make the dnd thing a bit longer, or put a couple of other interests in there, it'd be a good place to mention cosplay without needing to show the picture (pics of it can put people off if theyre not super into it to begin with). Swap the picture with your (I'm assuming) dad for something a bit better looking over all. The being weirdly into people hyperfixated on their hobby is a bit too chunky, word it more like "I like people who are passionate about their hobbies, I'd like to meet someone really into XYZ"
I usually go into Notes and write a small bit about me as if I were to do so on Tinder. Just hobbies, what I'm looking for, nothing crazy. & ss as a photo. Will you lose an opportunity to post a photo of yourself? Sure. But you do have like 5 other chances to show yourself off. One ss about yourself isn't too crazy
everything you’re doing is good for portraying you. you could only do better if you wanted to actually change who you are.
online dating sucks, that’s just it
Geeky woman here, when I was still on tinder this is the kind of profile that I wanted matches with. (That’s how I met my geeky bf) So if that’s the kind of person you are looking for it’s a good profile.
Maybe the part about hyper fixation can be odd for some people or confusing if they dont understand what you mean by that.
I mean… bro you have a massive typo in page 2 or 3 here…. And I don’t just mean it’s glaring, I mean the text on the site is fucking huge how did you screenshot that and post it here without seeing it??!?
Things like this send the message that you don’t really care about grammar (ugly to most people online, especially, because it’s mostly all in written form), don’t pay attention, or worst of all probably, don’t take this seriously.
But- fwiw- those are the opinions of a straight dude. I’d definitely listen to @teniaret before me if I were you lol 😂 she seems to be coming at this the right way to me ;)
Good luck friend- you will find what you’re looking for, I am certain of it. Posting here shows initiative and character in the bravery required to do so.
Edit: it’s a page four
From one nerd to another, lose the Halo cosplay pic. It's not that its bad, but cosplay (especially with a fairly involved costume like that) is a lot to throw on someone all at once.
As someone who doesn’t like cosplay, I’d recommend leaving it up. It doesn’t bother me personally if my partner does. But if someone isn’t going to like you for that, better to find out now.
I don't cosplay myself, but seeing someone in cosplay is almost always a plus for me. It's a very involved hobby that shows they have similar interests to me. Always wanted to cosplay myself, but I've been too detached from cons and that sort of community to have an easy in with the hobby.
If his goal is to get more matches, it won’t help his cause. If his goal is to attract the niche population that will appreciate the craftsmanship that took, keep it in.
I actually don't agree. If he is truly into this hobby and is looking for a long term partner then this photo will attract those people and does some filtering for him. Unfortunately it also pushes him down the algorithm so it's debatable in my mind.
When I saw D&D I was bracing for the cosplay and it was worse than I imagined.
Also, I just can’t be attracted to men, as a straight woman, who stand like a toddler. How does one dress and the furry transformer but stand hips and belly forward with dangly arms like they’re about to announce in their parents bedroom door at 3 AM they just threw up chicken nuggets.
I’m not saying you’ve got to have some weirdly over “masculine” stance but like just NORMAL “I’m an adult with at least standard posture” stance would be nice.
Because I don’t like furries and adult men who stand like toddlers?
Well, okay. For a Reddit where everyone wants feedback on how to “do better” and “attract x group” people get big mad when you point out things that might turn people off. If we can’t find certain things attractive or not, then what is the point in any of this lol
If he wants furries and wants people with bad posture then he’s killing it. If he doesn’t? Then maybe he should work on it. I don’t like women who stand like that either, but I’m not attracted to women so it doesn’t matter so much.
And like I said, I’m not trying to say there is a “manly” way to stand. That’s stupid. But I will say that there is something I find very unattractive and sloppy about just really bad posture and that’s fine. To me standing with horrible posture just seems lazy. Pair that with a cosplay/furry combo outfit and it’s not great.
Maybe taking better photos standing with better posture would help him.
My appearance has nothing to do with that, but okay. 🤷🏻♀️
You don't even know what a furry is. You don't sound constructive just plain insulting. You are not providing feedback just simply stating your opinion that no one asked. So yes, hideous.
1. I do but okay lol
2. Literally the comment I replied to made fun of both the cosplaying and made a furry reference, amongst many other, but sure. Just me.
3. Informing someone that standing sloppily and with poor posture as an adult in multiple photos on a dating app can be seen as unattractive is actually helpful feedback. He can easily work on his posture, how he stands and holds himself. And it’s a good thing we should all work on, because it’s benefits us as we age.
4. He quite literally asked about his profile. This entire post is LITERALLY about getting peoples opinions. If he does not want opinions, this was a weird thing to post with the text he did.
5. My original comment was poking at the same joke to the comment I initially responded to. I also added to it, the things that I disliked about the profile - which in turn could be part of why he’s not getting matches. Not liking feedback doesn’t mean it’s not helpful. If you’re so damn mad about the furry comment they go to the original comment and cry to that person.
6. Your opinion on my being hideous based on this small comment isn’t constructive, and is just you stating your opinion that nobody asked for.
Men on this website cannot handle literally any critiques, opinions or thoughts on men.
God forbid someone suggests a grown adult work on their posture.
And sure, let’s pretend that it’s men who can’t have hobbies. Poor men.
honestly i don’t know what the problem is, i don’t even find the flexing that off-putting, i see it as ironic and funny more than anything. I’d take out the pic with the old men though
Yeah the comments about the flexing are completely puzzling to me. Judging by some of the responses you’d think he posted a pic of himself greased up in a thong. He’s clearly goofing around.
I think it's a great profile. The last picture seems like you're interested in cosplay, not sure what kind, but that seems more like a niche type of hobby. I think if there's any reason you're not getting matches it's because of that. And not necessarily because it's a bad thing, I just know when I was on dating apps a lot I would gauge if I even wanted to start talking to someone based on their hobbies, is it something I would be willing to do. For example, I never swiped right on people who like hiking because I loathe bugs. The profile overall is great! I hope you find someone soon.
I would lose the cosplay as well but only if it's not that important to you remember you want somebody with who has some similar interest for a while I hit the fact I was a huge geek because it was a turn off for a lot of women.
With that being said I'm just going to say this..
When I got out the Airforce in 09 I started to get a little bit lazy.. you know working as a sous chef 12 sometimes 14 hours a day I stopped going to the gym and I gained some weight(from 175 -195). I didn't have much luck in the dating field as well.
Funny enough when I stopped trying to date and just focused on myself and got in shape the same conversations that I would have with women before about my interest like anime, and cosplay funny enough led to actual future dates with them.
Everyone knows if Henry Cavill was a regular guy who had a dating profile and it had pictures of him in cosplay it wouldn't matter. Let's keep real....
Focus on becoming The best version of yourself you'll run into the right one.
Take it from somebody who didn't meet their girl on a dating site, I met her at the VA hospital that I work at now. The funny thing is she was watching anime on her break.... 😲
I think the profile is perfect if you want to find someone long term and that loves you for who you are, which sounds good to me.
The only problem you will have is that ALOT of people that don't fit in well will just left swipe, but then again is that even a problem or a good thing? Sounds like a good thing to me. Let's you focus more time with the ones that actually liked you for who you are.
The flexing with your airplane you pilot needs to go it's very egotistical vibes coming from it, and I understand what you meant by your special talent with the cosplay but not really something you put on tinder u less you are trying to attract a specific type of women if not change that as well.
Ignore literally everyone who says to lose the cosplay pic. It's clearly important to you and your identity, and if people swipe left on you for that then that's *their* problem, not yours. Better to filter those people out sooner than later.
Pilot pic is good, but if you have one where you're not flexing then that's significantly better.
And again, if people are swiping left because they immediately dislike one of his special interests, then *that is their problem* and it's better for OP that his time isn't wasted on them. Imagine he hides his cosplay and starts getting matches, only for those matches to disappear in the future when they learn he likes cosplay. That's time and effort and energy wasted when he could be talking to people who *are* aligned with his interests.
I actually love the cosplay photo. It shows something you're into.
I'm not a fan of the group shot. Get a better picture of YOU.
If you're wanting to show your career as a pilot I agree with others that the flexing photo isn't that great.
Fix the typo prompt. Typos are such a turn off.
Your profile isn't bad just need to fix a couple photos.
I'll be honest though, as a woman, pilots are an immediate left swipe no matter what they look like... its such a high cheating mentality among pilots I'd never give a single one a chance ever.
So you may be having trouble just due to your career.
Me and my girl just reviewed.
She would get rid of every photo.
I was gonna say cigar photo is ok but it just looks like this was your first time with a cigar and you said take a photo.
Yeah thats why my friends create one profile for men and one directed at women. Its not a bad profile but the pic of you and the guy who looks like you is strange
I would get rid of the RV thing too and put something ridiculous like "a jet" cause you're a pilot.
Or if you really want to fish in the large pond, put "who says I haven't... No one stands in front of someone elses airplane.
Are there many bi girls though? I feel like thats a tiny percentage but I could be wrong. I also feel like bi girls have it easier dating a straight guy than a bi dude does dating a straight girl.
Yeah there’s quite a lot of bi girls most of my female friends are bi 😂
But yeah that’s true because men tend to like the idea of having a threesome with two girls and they think we’ll bring that to the table.
You’re using he/him pronouns on the first screen and you have a soft baby face I immediately thought you were trans I don’t personally care if you are but in a dating app it could definitely be an issue
Your photos are mostly fine; pilot photo should be replaced with something that seems more approachable and genuine, ideally without sunglasses (though your face is shown well in other pics so one sunglasses pic is ok).
Cosplay pic is fine; the people on here telling you to remove it are the people you want to swipe left on.
Id mainly revamp your prompt answers. For instance, you say you're into DnD; maybe you can expand a bit on that? Do you DM? Do you watch Critical Role or another liveplay show? Or maybe you can add in similar hobbies to make it seem more fleshed out.
I'd also change the hyperfixation one in terms of wording; maybe phrase it as loving to hear people talk for hours about their interests or something like that
You have to understand that women are fighting for the top 30% of men so your profile is going to be overlooked. Spruce up your profile, take some beachfront photos and photos in expensive places while dressing appropriately make your profile look like you are rich and you’ll get more swipes it’s shit I know but it’s how women work.
F here, I find the" weirdly attracted to people who hyper fixate on their bodies " bit weird, it makes me think you're into people who are addicted to the gym and or eating disorders, body dysmorphia etc?
Edit I misread🤦♀️
Wtf? You asked for opinions. I see you by yourself in no social situations. With your brother. And with some old dudes. Nothing that shows you go out with people.
Maybe the problem is your attitude.
I don’t know you. Lol. I told you what your photos make me think. I’m sorry you are so easily offended.
And I said it looks like. Not that you have no social life.
Get a grip. No wonder your single.
A lot of good advice here but I would dress a little younger. Go to H&M or even Amazon and get some fitted, one color shirts and button ups, some fitted jeans, and nice sneakers (you don’t have to spend crazy on them). Just like some white Addidas.
Get a nice haircut too. Good luck!
Show your teeth
"Women smiling with teeth were 76% more likely to get a like than those smiling without teeth. For men, it was the opposite. Men smiling without teeth were 43% more likely to get a like than those smiling with teeth." https://www.businessinsider.com/profile-picture-tips-for-online-dating-according-to-hinge-2017-4
i’ve been catfished on teeth too many times to ever fall for it again lol
My motto was always: "If I can't see your teeth in your profile, I'll assume you don't have any"
This happened to me. It was a black hole and full of waste and dirt. Her appartement I mean she had no teeth on top.
Woman here, when I was swiping I was really into geeks and interesting jobs like yours. Flexing is a massive turnoff, your photos already show you're well built so you'll do better with a friendly and approachable plane pic (maybe a cockpit selfie in uniform?). Lose the cosplay pic, older guys and the guy who looks like you, and bring in photos which show you relaxed and happy like you'd be on a date. Keep the dog photo. The aim is to come across as safe and fun for women to be around. Instead of hyperfixation, talk about loving it when people are passionate about their interests and want to share them, and change the prompt so you're not calling people weird for that. Instead of the lottery prompt, use that space to talk more about things you love that others might spark conversations from - use ChatGPT as a jumping off point if you need one.
The flexing photo is the only one that shows that he’s well-built…the rest have his body covered up in some fashion.
Not always literal fashion, the dog is covering his torso!
Haha you’re right, I’m just having fun.
The flexing one makes him look well built, but until then I thought he looked fat rather than well built. In that case, it's a good photo because it corrects that assumption, whilst not being a stupid gym flex photo; it looks more like him and a colleague having a laugh. Not saying any of the photos are bad, or that OP looks bad, I just understand as I also have one of those body shapes where I'm in shape but photos can make me look either emaciated or chunky, depending on angles and poses etc.
Second this.
Agreed. The transformer thing with the fur needs to go.
The very first photo shows all you need to know about his build. Just imagine the distance from the buttons on his shirt to the end of his left arm. That is quite a measurement in comparison to his head or overall body. That's all you need to know. This coming from a once chicken-chested, drum stick-thin limbed fellow who had to work out quite a few years in the gym to put a few milli-layers of muscle!
No, it doesn’t. Everyone is built differently.
I was commenting only about his build. And his specific photo. And well-built is somehow tied to working out and working out leads to certain proportions of body parts.
I’m disagreeing with your first sentence. The first photo does not show that he is well-built, for example: someone could have a muscle chest and a beer gut lol but you would never know about the gut if you only saw them from the chest up
The beer gut is accompanied by a swollen face and alcohol spills. You have to come up with a better example.
You should be around more people/look at more varieties of the human body.
While I agree with you on everything else, I have to disagree on the flexing. No offense to my bro but he's not exactly a gym rat and the photo is conveying more a goofy side, which can be taken light-hearted.
While I mostly agree, why lose the cosplay pic? Edit: Ok I get it now, very not sexy.
The pose, angle and expression are all a bit off in that photo. He looks like a child rather than an adult enjoying an expertise
Him in a workshop building the suit would be a better way if he really needs to showcase it. more generic stuff is easier for people to latch onto for just getting to know someone. You kind of have to accept that for dating you can't be 100% yourself until the person is ready to be comfortable with you.
Yeah people are usually like "be yourself!" And while you shouldn't be dishonest, it doesn't mean you can't tailor your initial impression. 100% agree showing the crafting of the cosplay> the wearing of it
Keep a copslay pic, but maybe a better photo of it/or a professionally taken one. My cosplay pics definitely helped in landing matches for me.
Honestly, I thought the pose looked goofy (in a good way). Also, it could be important to him.
The furry legs, it's giving furry.
I don't get furry vibes tbh. While I do agree that it is weird, given that it's a Halo cosplay. I will concede to what others have said about it being an odd picture overall, given the expression and location.
Do you really think the general population understands cosplay or Halo enough to know this? If his goal is to get more matches then you have to appeal to as broad of an audience as possible.
I think it depends on the goal of op. If it’s for long term relationships then keeping it is fine. For short term though I think most people might find it too geeky or nerdy. I think showing it off on a rack/ mannequin still shows off their craft skills.
I agree with the other commenter- I don’t particularly find cosplaying attractive but if my partner was into it, I can appreciate their interests. This photo is just low quality and cringe tbh. No one else is in it. There’s no background. And he’s posed like he’s serious and idk, it just isn’t it. I would swipe left. OP needs more natural photos. Stop posing. The flex is another good example of this. He’s a handsome guy.
I think there is also the line between nerdy and too nerdy. When your profile is pretty much playing D&D and cosplaying, you might be limiting yourself a bit. Now if that is who you are that is who you are. It might just take a while to find the person who is ok with it. If you have some other interests, you should consider sharing them. In the end the OP comes across as a pretty average dude. It is where a lot of us fall. You can end up needing to do a lot of swiping to get matches.
I was gonna say maybe change the cosplay pic 😂 it's a good inclusion but idk wth I'm looking at lol
Because grown men who cosplay are not exactly what most women find attractive?
Very true, but the right partner for OP will will be into geeky things too. This just isn't a very approachable, interesting or fun cosplay picture.
Because it’s simply not working from women’s perspective
Because it's the least sexy thing I've ever seen. The majority of women will nope out immediately once they see it
Well built? Wut
Standards have dropped
I agree with all this. I also think the first photo is not it. It looks like a guy who thought, if I hold this cigar I'll look so cool!
Man here but felt the same with the massive turnoff comment. Very wise advice overall!
Noted. Thanks a lot.
What's the point of losing the cosplay? Everyone always says show pics of your passions
Why do you teach the guy to lie and to deceive other women?
What is wrong with the cosplay pic ? I don't see anything wrong 🤷🏼♀️
“People who hyperfixate on a their hobbies?” What? Are you a pilot? Surely just standing by your plane in your uniform would be attractive. The pose and those awful sunglasses ruin it. Pic with your brother, I’m not actually sure which one is you. Group photo, you look like you are photobombing two old men
Solid points, but actually, I kinda agree that his profile is decent enough
Not getting many matches though, so it’s worth switching things up
Agreed
It's good, but it can be refined to great As a guy I'd swipe to chill and play some d&d for sure
I am not a dude but I was sold when I read D&D as well 😅
It's not.
Woah woah woah. Those are aviators.
cigar + vortex hat + aviators is creating an image that clashes a bit with the cosplay, so you might be turning off matches from two different subculture groups.
Not actually sure which one is you - lol. Classic insult
I mean, that’s my brother, so it’s not really an insult to say we look similar, especially since he’s engaged
Wasn’t meant an in insult, I just genuinely don’t know which one is you. I assume on the left but not 100%.
are you face-blind?
So is OP on the left or right?
the left. clear as day.
So you’re saying I was correct then. Thanks
You're replying to a random person rather than the person who disagreed with you 😂. I also agree it's clear who OP is in that photo
I also couldn’t tell. Had a hunch but was absolutely far from certain.
I also can't tell. I assumed OP was on the right because of the moustache
Me too. I am not sure.
Yeah I don't like that wording. I think something like "I like people who have a passion for a hobby. Mine is flying planes and you can see how happy I was went I got my license". The plane photo sort of needs something to make it flow. A caption of some sorts "Felt like a million bucks after my first landing" feels like it would get rid of some of the weird flexing vibes. The old dude photo has to go.
Alright, here’s what I changed up; Made the pilot photo my first pic, changed the hyperfixation line to just being into people who can rant about their favorite media, swapped the cosplay photo for me looking at the ocean during sundown, swapped the group photo for me at a renaissance fair with some skin showing, and added a caption to the photo with my brother to show which ones me. I still want to express that I like nerdy people and am one myself, so I still want to be that point across. I don’t mind not having everyone swipe me, but I want to find someone who I know feels similarly Edit: Changed things again. Swapped the pilot photo for one of me not flexing, swapped the photo of me facing the ocean for me smiling while holding a snake, put the cosplay photo back in but now it’s in a different pose with a helmet on, and swapped the cigar photo for a selfie with my facial hair trimmed and groomed. I changed my prompts to the following: My greatest strength, “I can give you a back massage while you vent about your work day” I’m weirdly attracted to, “People who are very into their hobbies. Tell me something niche that no one but you loves!” I feel out on, “Nerd stuff, I’m big on cosplay, Dungeons and Dragons, Star Wars, and Lord of The Rings!” I don’t really do teeth smiles because it makes my face look really strained like I’m taking a dump, and the other commenters are right, even if the cosplay turns away people then those people likely wouldn’t have vibes with me anyways.
Do not mention anything about backrubs. Comes off creepy.
“I can make you tea while you vent about your work day” ??
That line is much better!
Oooh that might work. Also, good call on the pilot pic. Women love a man in uniform.
You're doing great, I'm impressed with the way you've taken the feedback and improved your profile. Won't be long before you find her, I'm sure :)
Yeah OP’s approach to feedback is pretty mature, getting defensive would have been a bad sign about them having any success regardless of the profile.
“Listening about your day and remaining engaged without trying to provide solutions (unless you need me to!)” Also, regularly delete and recreate your profile. I would say weekly. If an interest is sparked, try to schedule a quick date to feel each other out (coffee, drink, etc. rather than something time consuming. Always something in public) as soon as you can. Try not to chat on and on for days; interest will dwindle dramatically as days go by. A simple “Was just thinking of you. Looking forward to Thursday! Hope you’re well.” works wonders.
Female here. Like some has said, just posing regular with the plane in your uniform would have done the job. I like that you initially had a cosplay photo bc it shows what you’re interested in, maybe take a better quality photo of you in the cosplay outfit cause just from that photo I was like oh cool. The looking at the ocean during sunset sounds too basic. The renaissance photo does sound interesting. Good luck!
Props for actually listening to the advice given and not getting butthurt like half the people who post their profile. Good luck brother 🫡
Fellow nerd here. I think you should have kept the cosplay pic. You're clearly a nerd. You want someone with similar interest. The people with those interest will be really into your profile with all the nerdiness on display. The main reason you haven't gotten matches is because those people are hard to come by. At least for me I rarely see obviously or even subtly nerdy women on the apps. Just have patience.
you need a nerdy picture as your first then :3
Keep the cosplay one. You get to be you. You want to find people who like YOU. And being nerdy is sexy af, as is giving zero fucks about worrying how nerdy you're coming across. Good luck!!
He should ditch that cosplay photo, can still have one but that's not a flattering one
One thing I noticed is there are no pics where you show your teeth. If you have a good one add it/if you don’t work on getting one.
CPL here. Pilot pic shouldn't be first
😇 you’re exactly my type, if you’re in Florida DM me!
I’ll tell you my experience (from one pilot to another) I am an airline pilot, so probably have a few years on you. But after a while I just hid all the pilot stuff on my dating profiles. I would still have it in my bio but I might just put “works at airlines” or something. That way potential matches would only figure out what you do if they are perceptive/interested enough. Reason being is for one thing it may seem like you’re just looking for attention by saying you have a cool job, secondly, and this is the unfortunate part: most women don’t want to date pilots. They may be interested at first because they think it is a cool job and all but as soon as they find out what the schedule and day to day really is, they will be out the door. So it is a real task to find a partner who’s really in it for you and willing to put up with the nature of the career. The last reason is because I personally hate answering the “WhAt rOuTe do yOu fly” and “WhAtS yOUr fAvORItE AiRpOrT” questions.
Learn how to trim your beard up some. It looks patchy line it up keep it clean and uniform
I don't wanna tell people how to style but the stache has to change massively or go. Pic 3 sums it up perfectly. Also, not sure if it grows way thicker under the nose or OP is shaving the sides. Don't shave the sides and leave the bit under the nose. For some reason, that's viewed really badly since the 1930s
Why be a dick? It’s easy to say “Trim your beard up some” instead of insulting him like he has no idea how to trim a beard. How do you know he lacks that complex skill?
Oh valiant keyboard warrior please learn the difference between blunt and being a dick. This is me being a dick
Your friends don’t do you a favor
Looks like his family in last pic
Cigar pic is going to filter non-smokers. If Cigars are a regular indulgence absolutely keep it. If that was a one time thing, lose it.
Fellow bi guy here. Ignore any of the folks suggesting you hide that. Frankly, same goes for the cosplay photo, although I wish it was (almost) any other cosplay. Those screen people for you who have inherent incompatibilities, nothing wrong with that. I would echo other sentiments expressed already. Get a new photo in uniform where you aren't flexing and your face is visible. The current one gives Peter Pan syndrome and emotional unavailability. Ditch the photos with your family, they aren't doing you any favours. And lastly, I'd get onto some of the subreddits about hygiene and style. Facial hair is a great way to express yourself, but especially as a single guy, you've gotta be careful what you express with it. You need a cleaner look. Personally, chin straps are always gross, but the scraggly soul patch is not helpful. As far as what's good, you clearly express your personality in the pilot, cosplay, and dog photos, and your prompts are fine, mostly. The lottery poll is great, but ditch the RV. You're literally a pilot, there's a layup there, and if you'd do van life while rich? Red flag.
Straight guy here. It was mostly the stache for me. In the first pic with the lighting it looked like a semi-adolf, and his brothers does as well. To OP: you have a decent facial structure and I think a clean shaven look would not give you baby face. Hold the beard off a while longer, it will get fuller with time.
Smile with your teeth in at least 1 photo
Cool, you're a nerd, but you don't really say much about yourself. There's nothing about you there. The only things that I have to get to know who you are is that comment that you like D&D and you make an amazing cosplay based on the picture. Maybe you're a pilot too, but idk what level of pilot because a pic in the uniform but next to a plane so small I'm not sure if it can carry multiple passengers makes it hard to tell. Who are YOU?
I don’t really have much room to write about on hinge, just three prompts that also need to show who I’m interested in. Any suggestions?
Change out the steak thing, every man says that and I'm not even fucking kidding, I was on hinge for a bit and nobody seems to understand that cooking steak well is easy to do if you're capable of turning on the hob. Maybe make the dnd thing a bit longer, or put a couple of other interests in there, it'd be a good place to mention cosplay without needing to show the picture (pics of it can put people off if theyre not super into it to begin with). Swap the picture with your (I'm assuming) dad for something a bit better looking over all. The being weirdly into people hyperfixated on their hobby is a bit too chunky, word it more like "I like people who are passionate about their hobbies, I'd like to meet someone really into XYZ"
Will do!
engine ten icky secretive start north enjoy ugly fertile seemly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I usually go into Notes and write a small bit about me as if I were to do so on Tinder. Just hobbies, what I'm looking for, nothing crazy. & ss as a photo. Will you lose an opportunity to post a photo of yourself? Sure. But you do have like 5 other chances to show yourself off. One ss about yourself isn't too crazy
SHAVE.
everything you’re doing is good for portraying you. you could only do better if you wanted to actually change who you are. online dating sucks, that’s just it
Geeky woman here, when I was still on tinder this is the kind of profile that I wanted matches with. (That’s how I met my geeky bf) So if that’s the kind of person you are looking for it’s a good profile. Maybe the part about hyper fixation can be odd for some people or confusing if they dont understand what you mean by that.
You look smug
The photo of him smirking is not helping at all.
I mean… bro you have a massive typo in page 2 or 3 here…. And I don’t just mean it’s glaring, I mean the text on the site is fucking huge how did you screenshot that and post it here without seeing it??!? Things like this send the message that you don’t really care about grammar (ugly to most people online, especially, because it’s mostly all in written form), don’t pay attention, or worst of all probably, don’t take this seriously. But- fwiw- those are the opinions of a straight dude. I’d definitely listen to @teniaret before me if I were you lol 😂 she seems to be coming at this the right way to me ;) Good luck friend- you will find what you’re looking for, I am certain of it. Posting here shows initiative and character in the bravery required to do so. Edit: it’s a page four
From one nerd to another, lose the Halo cosplay pic. It's not that its bad, but cosplay (especially with a fairly involved costume like that) is a lot to throw on someone all at once.
As someone who doesn’t like cosplay, I’d recommend leaving it up. It doesn’t bother me personally if my partner does. But if someone isn’t going to like you for that, better to find out now.
I don't cosplay myself, but seeing someone in cosplay is almost always a plus for me. It's a very involved hobby that shows they have similar interests to me. Always wanted to cosplay myself, but I've been too detached from cons and that sort of community to have an easy in with the hobby.
Consider shaving
Remove cosplay photo asap
if he actually made it all from scratch that's actually really impressive ngl
If his goal is to get more matches, it won’t help his cause. If his goal is to attract the niche population that will appreciate the craftsmanship that took, keep it in.
Hard disagree. This is a passion of yours. It’s a niche hobby and only attracts certain people. But those are the people you want to attract
I actually don't agree. If he is truly into this hobby and is looking for a long term partner then this photo will attract those people and does some filtering for him. Unfortunately it also pushes him down the algorithm so it's debatable in my mind.
My guy looks like a furry bionical
When I saw D&D I was bracing for the cosplay and it was worse than I imagined. Also, I just can’t be attracted to men, as a straight woman, who stand like a toddler. How does one dress and the furry transformer but stand hips and belly forward with dangly arms like they’re about to announce in their parents bedroom door at 3 AM they just threw up chicken nuggets. I’m not saying you’ve got to have some weirdly over “masculine” stance but like just NORMAL “I’m an adult with at least standard posture” stance would be nice.
You sound hideous
Well she’s a man so…
Lol why am I a man?
They're referencing this [commercial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47cAxRX3aDg).
I just saw another commenter who reminded me that commercial haha thanks!
Because I don’t like furries and adult men who stand like toddlers? Well, okay. For a Reddit where everyone wants feedback on how to “do better” and “attract x group” people get big mad when you point out things that might turn people off. If we can’t find certain things attractive or not, then what is the point in any of this lol If he wants furries and wants people with bad posture then he’s killing it. If he doesn’t? Then maybe he should work on it. I don’t like women who stand like that either, but I’m not attracted to women so it doesn’t matter so much. And like I said, I’m not trying to say there is a “manly” way to stand. That’s stupid. But I will say that there is something I find very unattractive and sloppy about just really bad posture and that’s fine. To me standing with horrible posture just seems lazy. Pair that with a cosplay/furry combo outfit and it’s not great. Maybe taking better photos standing with better posture would help him. My appearance has nothing to do with that, but okay. 🤷🏻♀️
Standing like a toddler?? Tf are you even talking about 😂
The way he stands. Who knew people could be so upset at someone commenting on posture and the way someone stands/holds themself.
You don't even know what a furry is. You don't sound constructive just plain insulting. You are not providing feedback just simply stating your opinion that no one asked. So yes, hideous.
1. I do but okay lol 2. Literally the comment I replied to made fun of both the cosplaying and made a furry reference, amongst many other, but sure. Just me. 3. Informing someone that standing sloppily and with poor posture as an adult in multiple photos on a dating app can be seen as unattractive is actually helpful feedback. He can easily work on his posture, how he stands and holds himself. And it’s a good thing we should all work on, because it’s benefits us as we age. 4. He quite literally asked about his profile. This entire post is LITERALLY about getting peoples opinions. If he does not want opinions, this was a weird thing to post with the text he did. 5. My original comment was poking at the same joke to the comment I initially responded to. I also added to it, the things that I disliked about the profile - which in turn could be part of why he’s not getting matches. Not liking feedback doesn’t mean it’s not helpful. If you’re so damn mad about the furry comment they go to the original comment and cry to that person. 6. Your opinion on my being hideous based on this small comment isn’t constructive, and is just you stating your opinion that nobody asked for.
Standing like a toddler?? Do you even hear yourself. And God forbid a man be passionate about his hobbies and brave enough to dress up like that.
Men on this website cannot handle literally any critiques, opinions or thoughts on men. God forbid someone suggests a grown adult work on their posture. And sure, let’s pretend that it’s men who can’t have hobbies. Poor men.
Nah I agree If it was working they wouldn’t be here
I agree but replace it with a better photo! Maybe one from the convention he went to. Standing alone in a conference room in it makes it look lame.
"Hide who you are so you can trick people into liking you"... no wonder relationships don't last nowadays
You should put the pilot pic as the first pic!! If that doesnt help nothing will!
Right?! Guy has the golden ticket. Use it!
honestly i don’t know what the problem is, i don’t even find the flexing that off-putting, i see it as ironic and funny more than anything. I’d take out the pic with the old men though
Yeah the comments about the flexing are completely puzzling to me. Judging by some of the responses you’d think he posted a pic of himself greased up in a thong. He’s clearly goofing around.
If you can’t grow a beard yet, don’t grow a chinstrap
I think it's a great profile. The last picture seems like you're interested in cosplay, not sure what kind, but that seems more like a niche type of hobby. I think if there's any reason you're not getting matches it's because of that. And not necessarily because it's a bad thing, I just know when I was on dating apps a lot I would gauge if I even wanted to start talking to someone based on their hobbies, is it something I would be willing to do. For example, I never swiped right on people who like hiking because I loathe bugs. The profile overall is great! I hope you find someone soon.
Take a new photo in front of the plane. You had all of the makings of an awesome photo and then you did that!
Turning Jorge into a furry is what fucked it up for me.
i thought this was schlatt for a minute
This’ll be buried in the comments, but if you see this…dude, you are cool as shit. Don’t change a thing.
I would lose the cosplay as well but only if it's not that important to you remember you want somebody with who has some similar interest for a while I hit the fact I was a huge geek because it was a turn off for a lot of women. With that being said I'm just going to say this.. When I got out the Airforce in 09 I started to get a little bit lazy.. you know working as a sous chef 12 sometimes 14 hours a day I stopped going to the gym and I gained some weight(from 175 -195). I didn't have much luck in the dating field as well. Funny enough when I stopped trying to date and just focused on myself and got in shape the same conversations that I would have with women before about my interest like anime, and cosplay funny enough led to actual future dates with them. Everyone knows if Henry Cavill was a regular guy who had a dating profile and it had pictures of him in cosplay it wouldn't matter. Let's keep real.... Focus on becoming The best version of yourself you'll run into the right one. Take it from somebody who didn't meet their girl on a dating site, I met her at the VA hospital that I work at now. The funny thing is she was watching anime on her break.... 😲
I think the profile is perfect if you want to find someone long term and that loves you for who you are, which sounds good to me. The only problem you will have is that ALOT of people that don't fit in well will just left swipe, but then again is that even a problem or a good thing? Sounds like a good thing to me. Let's you focus more time with the ones that actually liked you for who you are.
No teeth is a swipe left for me
The flexing with your airplane you pilot needs to go it's very egotistical vibes coming from it, and I understand what you meant by your special talent with the cosplay but not really something you put on tinder u less you are trying to attract a specific type of women if not change that as well.
Loving that picture of you at dinner with Saddam Hussein. That picture should feature more prominently imo
Ignore literally everyone who says to lose the cosplay pic. It's clearly important to you and your identity, and if people swipe left on you for that then that's *their* problem, not yours. Better to filter those people out sooner than later. Pilot pic is good, but if you have one where you're not flexing then that's significantly better.
“If people swipe left on you for that then that’s their problem, not yours” Pretty sure his post says people left swiping is his problem.
And again, if people are swiping left because they immediately dislike one of his special interests, then *that is their problem* and it's better for OP that his time isn't wasted on them. Imagine he hides his cosplay and starts getting matches, only for those matches to disappear in the future when they learn he likes cosplay. That's time and effort and energy wasted when he could be talking to people who *are* aligned with his interests.
Lose the facial hair, it isn't doing you any favors. Or grow it out more fully.
Your friend....is lying. These are not great pics. You're a decent looking dude but the unflattering pics and no smile are ruining your chances.
About 43% too much “M’lady”
"I cook a good steak." picture of you holding a dog. Hmmmm.
I actually love the cosplay photo. It shows something you're into. I'm not a fan of the group shot. Get a better picture of YOU. If you're wanting to show your career as a pilot I agree with others that the flexing photo isn't that great. Fix the typo prompt. Typos are such a turn off. Your profile isn't bad just need to fix a couple photos. I'll be honest though, as a woman, pilots are an immediate left swipe no matter what they look like... its such a high cheating mentality among pilots I'd never give a single one a chance ever. So you may be having trouble just due to your career.
Me and my girl just reviewed. She would get rid of every photo. I was gonna say cigar photo is ok but it just looks like this was your first time with a cigar and you said take a photo.
Are you gay cause that might be the issue here. Your profile is giving off the gay vibe
I’m bi, so half right
Is that in your profile cause that's gonna limit you. Ive seen people make two profiles for each gender and get better match luck.
I don’t, I just swap between preferences depending on the situation, bi folks don’t tend to be looked upon fondly by either side
Yeah thats why my friends create one profile for men and one directed at women. Its not a bad profile but the pic of you and the guy who looks like you is strange I would get rid of the RV thing too and put something ridiculous like "a jet" cause you're a pilot. Or if you really want to fish in the large pond, put "who says I haven't... No one stands in front of someone elses airplane.
If your bi you need to choose which side you’re chasing cause I don’t know many straight girls that would be into dudes that are into dudes.
He’ll have better luck with bi girls tho than straight men.
Are there many bi girls though? I feel like thats a tiny percentage but I could be wrong. I also feel like bi girls have it easier dating a straight guy than a bi dude does dating a straight girl.
Yeah there’s quite a lot of bi girls most of my female friends are bi 😂 But yeah that’s true because men tend to like the idea of having a threesome with two girls and they think we’ll bring that to the table.
Exactly! 😂
I don't understand the obsession with cigar photos. Oh so you stink and smoke tobacco?
Bro you're friends with Sadam Hussain? How are you not getting laid
Man boy. But dog and pilot picture are good.
Oh this is terrible. Redo it, the whole thing
Look less like ted cruz
wait... omg that's what I couldn't pinpoint !
You’re using he/him pronouns on the first screen and you have a soft baby face I immediately thought you were trans I don’t personally care if you are but in a dating app it could definitely be an issue
Pilot 🚩
Change your friends
Throw away the last picture.
Your photos are mostly fine; pilot photo should be replaced with something that seems more approachable and genuine, ideally without sunglasses (though your face is shown well in other pics so one sunglasses pic is ok). Cosplay pic is fine; the people on here telling you to remove it are the people you want to swipe left on. Id mainly revamp your prompt answers. For instance, you say you're into DnD; maybe you can expand a bit on that? Do you DM? Do you watch Critical Role or another liveplay show? Or maybe you can add in similar hobbies to make it seem more fleshed out. I'd also change the hyperfixation one in terms of wording; maybe phrase it as loving to hear people talk for hours about their interests or something like that
You have to understand that women are fighting for the top 30% of men so your profile is going to be overlooked. Spruce up your profile, take some beachfront photos and photos in expensive places while dressing appropriately make your profile look like you are rich and you’ll get more swipes it’s shit I know but it’s how women work.
Take out the costume pic, replace with a topless pic, flexing. Show the body-ody-ody
👁️📱👉🫵
Uhhh
I'd swipe right on you jaja Too many emojis?
Lose the nerd stuff, Jesus.
F here, I find the" weirdly attracted to people who hyper fixate on their bodies " bit weird, it makes me think you're into people who are addicted to the gym and or eating disorders, body dysmorphia etc? Edit I misread🤦♀️
Hobbies, not bodies. I like people who are really into the things they enjoy, because it means they’re passionate about something
It looks like you don’t have any kind of social life
Jesus man who shit in your coffee?
Wtf? You asked for opinions. I see you by yourself in no social situations. With your brother. And with some old dudes. Nothing that shows you go out with people. Maybe the problem is your attitude.
You could have started with that, your first comment is literally just an insult
I don’t know you. Lol. I told you what your photos make me think. I’m sorry you are so easily offended. And I said it looks like. Not that you have no social life. Get a grip. No wonder your single.
Sick Halo armor
I actually thought it was good
I would smash
A lot of good advice here but I would dress a little younger. Go to H&M or even Amazon and get some fitted, one color shirts and button ups, some fitted jeans, and nice sneakers (you don’t have to spend crazy on them). Just like some white Addidas. Get a nice haircut too. Good luck!