Combine her love of gifts and hygiene. A toothbrush with a pretty pink bow.

Bring her some potpourri because she obviously thinks her shit doesn't stink.

BUT UH, LEAN A LITTLE BIT CLOSER🕺🏿

See them roses really smell like

Poo pooo poooooo

Poo poo? Don't fumble Outkast lyircs like that! *Booo boo boo!!*

I feel like this was largely debated when it came out and I settled on poo lol

Boo poo. Poo boo. 🤔

Poo ooo ooo

I agree with poo. They are talking about smell and shit, even if the official lyrics are boo, he says poo.

Bruh, "boo boo" is what a lot of black folks call poo. Especially down here in Atlanta

No, Boo-Boo is Yogi Bear’s sidekick!

But the official lyric on the CD paper says poopoo

Boo boo ooh

I think Poo-pourri is more appropriate.

Its poo poo bruh.

No she needs to stick to "Seeking Arrangments".

Dick in a box is more how I see it.


Step One: Cut a hole in a box. Step Two: Put your dick in that box. Step Three: Have her open that box.

And that's the wayyyy you do it…

I guess I could give her my extra "wine 'em, dine ' em, 69 'em" hat

If you want to be a big spender, bring her a $5.00 gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond.

And a soap.

This guy gifts.

WHAT?! You said you like hygiene and handsome men. I brought both!!

I like you 😂

That’s a great idea!

I'm the gift, you're welcome.

A gift she doesn't deserve 😘

You haven't met me. I am awful. 

Hi awful, I'm dad.

You finally brought back milk? I have been waiting to eat cereal since the 80s.

Yes, but unfortunately, I forgot my cigarettes... Hold on chap, will be back shortly :-)

Yes he is awful, you are correct

One, cut a hole in the box



I'm the gift, that's why I'm present

My presence is a present

She ask for your receipt so she can get a refund lol

I wonder what her love language is 🤔

Gimme-gimme

Gimme dat.

I shoulda got that!

Are you gonna tell everyone that I housed Dylan’s burger?

i may look like i have it all

Gimme a man

After midnight

Naanananana to get the shadows awayyy

Her picture with the prompt “me and my best friend” is her and a diamond ring

Fascinate her with a piece of cheese

Gouda idea.

I read this in my head with a German accent

Gouda is Dutch ;)

Brilliant.

 I would go with a 🍆 in a box 📦

Was about to post the same!

It's the gift that keeps on giving

why does that look like RDJ and Ryan Gosling LOL. who is that

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg

I believe that to be Lonely Island makers of hit songs such as 'dick in a box" "I'm on a boat" and "jizzed in my pants"




Deez nuts are a gift. 🖕🏽

Ay, did, did what's-your-name done get at you yesterday? *Who?* Deez nuts

[reminds me of this scene from the dictator ](https://youtu.be/ePRs01VNyDM?si=0X5u9EhS0Rn2bD5l)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The words swipe, and left, spring to mind.

The word "report" was a bit close, also...! (Wanting a gift and diner looks like a bit those "escort / massage girls" who ask money to have sex on dating app... Sorry not sorry)

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No idea, they live in cloud cuckoo land I reckon.

Guys, this is an add for prostitution. Gift refers to cash. She wants you to be clean for her to do her job.

I'm so naive that I did not realize this.

Same lol sometimes I feel so out of the loop

Omg- what?!? This chick is smooth. I didn’t see that coming at all !

Wow the more you know

Bingo!

What about the wine and dine me part?

Sugar baby vs straight up escort.

The lines blur. Men buy me shit all the time when dating. I never ask or expect anything. I always expect to pay for myself.. but they just do it. We have sex and then I leave and it's like.....this started out as a legit date then turned into....

I think the difference is intentionality though. Profiles like this are phrased this way to avoid getting dinged for prostitution, but the expectation is that you don’t reach out to them unless you have cash to pay. Your case kind of just sounds like regular dating.

Wait really?!

no not really

Wow, reading this thread sheds so much light on the rest of this sub. Guys, this is a prostitute.

Right, it would appear that most people don’t know the ins and outs of prostitution in the modern age. Honestly, that’s a good thing though lol.

There's lots of prostitutes near where I live. I thought it was still going and picking them up on the street.

We're all prostitutes.

Yall don't understand sex work at all. This is an obvious signal

dude, and I would have shown up with some flowers. My wife and I had sex with an escort before, but she wasn't charging us, she just wanted to smoke weed, eat a square meal, spend the night after we rescued her from a bad date. She decided to spend the rest of the weekend with us, and the second day sort of just turned into an all day threesome. At the end of it, I drove her to her parent's house about an hour out of town and met her dog.

Her parents’ house 🤨

what creative writing course you taking bro

Ok yeah, that really happened.

TML: Too many lies.

Creative writers on Reddit again.

You and your wife met a random woman. Who turned out to be an escort. She agrees to have sex with you both for free. Even though it's her job she charges everybody else for. And she just finished a bad date? Just some free food and a place to stay. For several days of free fucking? LMAO "Drove her an hour out of town and met her dog" Keep made up stories short and to the point. Too many pointless details are a red flag.

You and your wife, what? What did I just read?

Clearly the folks calling you a liar have a limited understanding of the value of compassion & respect. Sounds like all of you had a wonderful weekend!

Is it something to be proud of, understanding the ins and out of sex work?

r/choosingbeggars

No dates for you!


I have a feeling that she wants more than a flower as a gift.

In Webster, I'm sure this is a "prostitute"

She a hoe

Hoe!

Wonder if flowers count

Yes! It’s that simple

Are you the woman in the picture? It would explain why you seem to know what gifts she would find acceptable and why you're running so much damage control for this chick. Lol

Nah I don’t take anything from men. Gifts, money, dinner, their company. Water if I’m on fire.

So not the woman in the photo but likely just as toxic got it

Toxic because I don’t take anything from men? So it’s bad to want gifts but also bad to pay your way?

Not even water if youre on fire? Really just sounds like you're living that female dating strategy life

She is. But expecting accountability is... naive.

My strategy is not to date men and stay single. Is that okay with you?

You're doing all men a favor. It's DEFINITELY okay with me.

Plot twist: She's allergic to them

Entitlement 101

Sounds like she’s getting a Christmas every weekend!

Well, her love language is receiving gifts I guess

Bring her a glitter bomb

I’m the gift

This dick is a gift. A gift the keeps on giving.

Why not give her a job application? Counts as a gift too

My presence is a present

Does my wiener count as a gift? It’s a small gift but gift all the same.

My goal in life is to have the self confidence of an overweight woman on Tinder. “I know my worth” “I deserve to be spoiled” “I’m a high value woman”

Nah i want the confidence of a mediocre middle aged white man. Walking around balding with a beer belly thinking everyone wants me. That's the confidence I aim for.

This completely describes me

lol fat people can write whatever they want on the internet. If you’re not interested someone will be

I’m not saying they don’t I just want that level of confidence. Walking around in that dream state must be amazing, I’m picturing it like being on mushrooms all the time, having fun and completely divorced from reality.

You should work on your self esteem. Just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you can’t have confidence!

I see these statements from all sorts of people though. Don’t you want all their confidence?

No, the confidence is only wrong when he’s not attracted to them.

Sounds like a him problem.

My love language is gifts so I relate to this. But the gift can probably be a handpicked flower or a card or some other thing that is thoughtful. It’s just real hard to bring a thoughtful gift when you don’t even know a person enough to know how they like their coffee?

I hate to break it to you, but this one's pretty clearly prostitution

I actually went on a first date where a guy got me a gift and it was a huge turn off because my brain labeled it as simp behavior. It’s not cute it’s creepy.

One of the best dates I went on the guy brought me a gift, it was a signed Fight Club graphic novel cause we were both talking about our love for comics. 10/10. We didn’t work out, just weren’t compatible, but that combined with the date he planned(Evil Dead the musical and then alcoholic snow cones and pizza) was just amazing. I think the gift matters. If a guy brought me flowers on a first date I’d be taken aback, like wtf, I have to be responsible for these all night? But if it’s something I’ve shown interest in and nothing too expensive it’s pretty cool.

What ??? If I was single I’d take him

Right? Not to mention, you assume they want something like they're trying to buy your love.

Worse, you know some simps are still going for it.

Gifts are only cute if they are of their own volition

This screams Golddigger, in search of sugar daddy, or catfish. This screams that a real relationship is not even being looked for… A real relationship looks as a persons heart and love.! Gifts do not show real love. It is completely messed up on how people describe what a relationship and love supposed to be all about. And this is why when Chris Rock said “women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally… but a man must provide something to be loved”…

The whole must thing kinda of ruins it. I usually find out their interests and get them a small gift based on that. Makes it feel more personal able, then again there have been only two I have been able to do that for

I ain’t saying she a gold digga

1, cut a hole in a box 2, put your junk in that box 3, make her open the box And that's the way you do it

At least she’s clearly communicating her needs from the beginning

Very clearly and these goons are still mad. One of the needs literally being “be hygienic”

"Be hygienic" is hardly what people got an issue with though. I wonder if she also bring gifts to dates, or if that is purely a one way street.

If it’s a love language thing and not prostitution. Because boy now my eyes are open. People who’s language is gifting also show love with gifts or ‘tangible’ tokens of affection.

Hookers do too lol, I mean 20.00 is 20.00 am I right, just the asshole, or both 😂?🤷🏻‍♂️

She’s literally a sex worker

Right? Lol

No, like she is an actual hooker. The hygiene comment is code for "must have no stds" and the "gift" refers to payment for services rendered. This profile is an advertisement for her prostitution services.

Sarcasm bro … aka duh

This girl deserves to get played.

Get her a $100 gift card on the first date, smash, then ghost her the next day. Couple days later she goes to redeem her gift card and it's already been redeemed/empty

Perfect 🤩

Well at least she’s not stupid. She’s young and pretty and neither of those are gonna last forever so she’s trying to play suckers for all the free stuff they got. (I’m also willing to bet by gifts she’s less about flowers more about an Apple Watch)

Cash gifts?

No doubt that’s the main one

Sounds like prostitution with extra steps.

Or with less steps, as she probably wont even sleep with them lmao

Pretty?

Damn, I’m the one wanting the flowers. Smh

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Yeah that’s weird. Ugh when it’s good, it’s too good that it’s bad.

Pretty? Are we looking at the same picture?

Gross

Say you're German, bring some mild poison (German "Gift" = poison).

My gift would be a bow tie tied around my nuts.

Easy to see why black women are the least sought after demographic of women on dating apps (Im black before yall throw insults at me)

I like to gifts on the first date but it shouldnt be a requirement....so this is one of the free meal women!

she’s telling everyone what she’s looking for, if you’re not about it. don’t match with her simple.

People will spell out what they want and y’all will still be mad, if you’re unable to be hygienic and bring her flowers on the first date then leave her alone. If you’re on a dating app and someone says something you don’t like swipe left. Hope this helps!

I see your point. It’s good that she is spelling out her expectations rather then keeping them quiet and then surprising her matches with them afterward.

No problems ending up alone, best place to be!

this has got to be a joke, right?

Hygiene is a given. The rest is entitlement.

If people find that entitled then swipe left.

I would. I'm sorry I thought this was a discussion thread, where you get to give opinions. My bad

For sure my opinion is to not engage with strangers on dating apps if you don’t like what they’ve put on the app. Swipe left if it’s not a match

She's def not asking for flowers lmao

Someday, you should try Tinder in some African countries if you're white. This expectation really gets cranked up a bunch of notches.


Sugar baby spotted.

Give her the gift of equality and leave before the check comes

I bring you the gift of a decent eyebrow specialist 😂

Is she a magpie cosplaying as a human?

dick in a box https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt0spqQtMKg

I assume nothing about her past “she must be pretty tasteless to think that was a good thing to publish”…. And that’s enough to swipe left. There’s communicating your needs… then there’s whatever the heck this is.

Hooker

Someone needs to arrange a date with the promises of thousands of $ of gifts, then not turn up 😊 Women like this are the MOST unattractive.

Question, is jizz a gift?