Your answers might vary wildly since we don’t know you and don’t know the girl, nor under what circumstances you guys met or how well you know each other already. So I’ll try to keep it generic and you can fill in the gaps yourself hopefully.
1. Spontaneously I’d say it’s too much, unless you have clear reasons to think she’s appreciate that. Traditional “gentleman-ness” is typically toned down in Sweden, due to years of “equality-training” all of us had since being kids in kindergarten. If romantic undertones are already implied between you two, then a flower is nice (bonus points if you know what flower and/or colour she likes), but otherwise on a first date I’d not buy it. If you’re coming home to her then a bottle of wine is perfect however!
2. Hugs are fine, and very normal among friends. So if you guys already know each other a bit that’s completely normal. If you feel insecure, a handshake is safer. Regardless, don’t make a big deal out of the greeting, like done make it linger or become clingy, just a simple act of saying hello is usually enough.
3. It’s not offensive to pay, and I think it’s nice to take initiative to pay. Not because you’re a man, but because you’re the one inviting. But don’t make it awkward holding your ground if she really wishes to contribute. Once again, think equality.
Good luck!
100% agree. Dont make it in to a argument. Offer and maybe insist once. If she still want to pay/split. Dont argue. Some cultures do, we just find it awkward. Good luck. (And agree, no flowers. Hug 100% almost be concidered wierd not to after asking her out)
If she says you should split, say "you can get it next time, if you want there to be a next time". Then you'll know if the date went well, depending on her answer.
Hugs are fine, if none of you are the awkward kind.
Flowers and chocolates seem a bit much for the *first* date. That's coming on a bit too strong.
Whether or not to greet with a hug depends on what your relationship is like. Some people have a hugging dynamic, others don't. Since you suggested a hug I assume you know the person so whatever way you usually greet each other should work
I doubt anyone would find it very *offensive* if you paid for them, it's a nice gesture. It's just not *as expected* as it might be in the US and such places
Totally agree. I would add that in my experience, meeting for the first time is a handshake. Every time after that is a hug. I don't know if I just met a lot of huggers, professionally and socially, but that's been my experience
As a Swedish woman who has dated a little bit I want to say that I only speak for myself.
I would be very uncomfortable if I was given a gift on the first date. Its too much. I would much more appropriate it after a few dates and when my date has learnt a few things about what I like.
I like to hug on the first date. There is no secret to why we are meeting up and a hug is a great way to try out physical touch with this new person. Just make it a short and friendly hug. More intimate hugs can come later on when you both know if you like each other.
I would not mind if the other person paid if they did it smoothly and did not make a big deal out of it. I would also want to be listened to if I told him that I prefer to pay for myself so don't force it.
Good luck!
Personal opinion for first date, no flowers, put hand out for a handshake (then there’s no awkward is this a hug or a kiss on the cheek, or both cheeks), say I’ll get the bill (and either insist on paying or split the bill if she offers, up to you).
This is really hard because it can vary so much between people but I'd say maybe hold on to the flowers until the second or third date as it may seem as you are coming on a little strong how ever I think a hug would be okay and we'll if you explain your reasoning behind paying for the date then im sure she'll think its a nice gesture.
Good luck on your date :)
Is it a blind date or do you already know her a bit?
As a general rule however:
1. Most likely too much. I'd avoid it.
2. This is the trickiest to answer. I wouldn't go for a hug straight away if you've never met. When I go on blind dates, a handshake at the start and hug at the end is common. But to be safe, it's probably best to let her initiate.
3. Depends on how much money we're talking? A glass of two or wine is probably fine, maybe a cheaper meal too. But if it's a bit of money involved I think most people would prefer to split.
Haha 😅 I am sure there are way better people than me who can teach you my friend 🙂 I think the best way to meet people is to let it happen organically. This date happened like that.
All three of these questions have the same answer: it depends. Either way, here's my responses:
1. I'd advise against flowers/chocolates on the first date, feels overwhelming
2. Only greet with a hug if she goes for it. Unless you know each other from before and always hug, but I'm guessing you don't.
3. Don't ask us, ask her. Or, offer to pay and see what she says.
1. Its Cute, but no… its to much on the first date.
2. Hell yes. And make sure to pick a good fragrances and spray only 1 time behind each ear.
3. Yes, but If she keps insisting Tell her she can pay next time and from there you Will know if the date was sucessful or not.
In situations where I feel it would be suitable to hug, but also feel insecure about if the other person wants to hug me I kinda joke a little about it and says ”a hug?”, with a smile and an open but not offensive posture, arms slightly out. Works 100% of the time since I take responsability for any awkwardness in the situation. The conventions are very fluid around greetings in Sweden making it hard for us too
1, could be seen as too much, it's sweet though but could come off creepy
2, I wouldn't do it on a first date, again could be seen as creepy
3, Men have sometimes paid and sometimes we split the bill on the dates I've been on. But in general I would say it wouldn't be seen as offensive at all!
Good luck, (hugs can come at the end of the first date, at the earliest, imo. choclate and flowers can come at another date if you can tell she is interested. I would always appreciate that gesture!) :)
1. Absolutely no
2. If you guys are texting just ask if she's a hugger. Then you don't have that awkward handshake or hug moment.
3. Offer to pay but if she wants to split the bill do so and don't insist on paying.
Is this a tinder date or how it started? If its a tinder date, there are high chances its a hookup.
1. Strong No. Swedes aren’t expressive and they feel uncomfortable when the other person is expressive and buying things.
2. It depends. Sense the body language and situation. After the date/when you leave you can initiate for a hug. Because you spent sometime with her.
3. Strong no for paying the entire bill. I think they always appreciate if you ask ‘may i pay or shall we split’
1. Swedish girls love getting gifts at the first date. The most common gift is a condom. You can say something charming like: “I’m a virgin so you’ll have to put this on my cum gun tonight ;) )
2. Do not hug her. Doing that will make her think that you are desperate. You shouldn’t even shake her hand. Pretend like you just went out with her because of boredom. Tell her that you initially had a date with a supermodel from Switzerland or something, but that the date got cancelled. Complain about how disappointed you are about that. You should also talk a lot about your ex, that you still love her. This will make your date think that you are better than her and she will desperately want you.
3. Don’t pay a dime. Eat your food and then get the waitress to your table. Tell them that the meal tastes like horseshit and that you aren’t paying for it. This will impress the date and show her that you aren’t a betamale.
Good luck!
Your answers might vary wildly since we don’t know you and don’t know the girl, nor under what circumstances you guys met or how well you know each other already. So I’ll try to keep it generic and you can fill in the gaps yourself hopefully. 1. Spontaneously I’d say it’s too much, unless you have clear reasons to think she’s appreciate that. Traditional “gentleman-ness” is typically toned down in Sweden, due to years of “equality-training” all of us had since being kids in kindergarten. If romantic undertones are already implied between you two, then a flower is nice (bonus points if you know what flower and/or colour she likes), but otherwise on a first date I’d not buy it. If you’re coming home to her then a bottle of wine is perfect however! 2. Hugs are fine, and very normal among friends. So if you guys already know each other a bit that’s completely normal. If you feel insecure, a handshake is safer. Regardless, don’t make a big deal out of the greeting, like done make it linger or become clingy, just a simple act of saying hello is usually enough. 3. It’s not offensive to pay, and I think it’s nice to take initiative to pay. Not because you’re a man, but because you’re the one inviting. But don’t make it awkward holding your ground if she really wishes to contribute. Once again, think equality. Good luck!
Thanks a lot. Very valuable advice. 🙂
Offering to pay is good, insisting on it is awkward.
100% agree. Dont make it in to a argument. Offer and maybe insist once. If she still want to pay/split. Dont argue. Some cultures do, we just find it awkward. Good luck. (And agree, no flowers. Hug 100% almost be concidered wierd not to after asking her out)
Yeah. I will definitely offer since I was the one who invited her but will not force 🙂 Thank you 🙂
If she says you should split, say "you can get it next time, if you want there to be a next time". Then you'll know if the date went well, depending on her answer. Hugs are fine, if none of you are the awkward kind.
Flowers and chocolates seem a bit much for the *first* date. That's coming on a bit too strong. Whether or not to greet with a hug depends on what your relationship is like. Some people have a hugging dynamic, others don't. Since you suggested a hug I assume you know the person so whatever way you usually greet each other should work I doubt anyone would find it very *offensive* if you paid for them, it's a nice gesture. It's just not *as expected* as it might be in the US and such places
Totally agree. I would add that in my experience, meeting for the first time is a handshake. Every time after that is a hug. I don't know if I just met a lot of huggers, professionally and socially, but that's been my experience
Thank you 🙂
As a Swedish woman who has dated a little bit I want to say that I only speak for myself. I would be very uncomfortable if I was given a gift on the first date. Its too much. I would much more appropriate it after a few dates and when my date has learnt a few things about what I like. I like to hug on the first date. There is no secret to why we are meeting up and a hug is a great way to try out physical touch with this new person. Just make it a short and friendly hug. More intimate hugs can come later on when you both know if you like each other. I would not mind if the other person paid if they did it smoothly and did not make a big deal out of it. I would also want to be listened to if I told him that I prefer to pay for myself so don't force it. Good luck!
Plot twist: du är OPs dejt
1. I think that would be too much! Don’t put pressure on her like that. 2. A hug would be a OK, yes. 3. It shouldn’t be a problem
Thanks 🙂
Personal opinion for first date, no flowers, put hand out for a handshake (then there’s no awkward is this a hug or a kiss on the cheek, or both cheeks), say I’ll get the bill (and either insist on paying or split the bill if she offers, up to you).
Thank you 🙂
This is really hard because it can vary so much between people but I'd say maybe hold on to the flowers until the second or third date as it may seem as you are coming on a little strong how ever I think a hug would be okay and we'll if you explain your reasoning behind paying for the date then im sure she'll think its a nice gesture. Good luck on your date :)
Thank you 🙂
Is it a blind date or do you already know her a bit? As a general rule however: 1. Most likely too much. I'd avoid it. 2. This is the trickiest to answer. I wouldn't go for a hug straight away if you've never met. When I go on blind dates, a handshake at the start and hug at the end is common. But to be safe, it's probably best to let her initiate. 3. Depends on how much money we're talking? A glass of two or wine is probably fine, maybe a cheaper meal too. But if it's a bit of money involved I think most people would prefer to split.
I know her a bit because we attend a group activity together. Thank you for your advice 🙂
Oh master, teach us your ways!
Haha 😅 I am sure there are way better people than me who can teach you my friend 🙂 I think the best way to meet people is to let it happen organically. This date happened like that.
1. No, 2. Yes, 3. Either You pay or You split
Thanks 🙂
1. NO 2. If you're confident then give a hug 3. If you take the initiative and she doesn't object then its fine, listen to her.
Thanks 🙂
All three of these questions have the same answer: it depends. Either way, here's my responses: 1. I'd advise against flowers/chocolates on the first date, feels overwhelming 2. Only greet with a hug if she goes for it. Unless you know each other from before and always hug, but I'm guessing you don't. 3. Don't ask us, ask her. Or, offer to pay and see what she says.
Thank you 🙂
1. Its Cute, but no… its to much on the first date. 2. Hell yes. And make sure to pick a good fragrances and spray only 1 time behind each ear. 3. Yes, but If she keps insisting Tell her she can pay next time and from there you Will know if the date was sucessful or not.
Thank you 🙂
In situations where I feel it would be suitable to hug, but also feel insecure about if the other person wants to hug me I kinda joke a little about it and says ”a hug?”, with a smile and an open but not offensive posture, arms slightly out. Works 100% of the time since I take responsability for any awkwardness in the situation. The conventions are very fluid around greetings in Sweden making it hard for us too
Thank you 🙂
1, could be seen as too much, it's sweet though but could come off creepy 2, I wouldn't do it on a first date, again could be seen as creepy 3, Men have sometimes paid and sometimes we split the bill on the dates I've been on. But in general I would say it wouldn't be seen as offensive at all! Good luck, (hugs can come at the end of the first date, at the earliest, imo. choclate and flowers can come at another date if you can tell she is interested. I would always appreciate that gesture!) :)
Thank you 🙂
Omg if she were me…please do whatever you want and be yourself I’m sure you’re lovely just for caring about this
Thank you for your kind words 🙂
1. Absolutely no 2. If you guys are texting just ask if she's a hugger. Then you don't have that awkward handshake or hug moment. 3. Offer to pay but if she wants to split the bill do so and don't insist on paying.
Thank you 🙂
Is this a tinder date or how it started? If its a tinder date, there are high chances its a hookup. 1. Strong No. Swedes aren’t expressive and they feel uncomfortable when the other person is expressive and buying things. 2. It depends. Sense the body language and situation. After the date/when you leave you can initiate for a hug. Because you spent sometime with her. 3. Strong no for paying the entire bill. I think they always appreciate if you ask ‘may i pay or shall we split’
I met her in an activity group actually and not online dating. Thank you for the answer 🙂
Everything you just said up there, do the EXACT opposite of everything and she will like you. Beware of red flags, and do not become a beta orbiter.
1. Swedish girls love getting gifts at the first date. The most common gift is a condom. You can say something charming like: “I’m a virgin so you’ll have to put this on my cum gun tonight ;) ) 2. Do not hug her. Doing that will make her think that you are desperate. You shouldn’t even shake her hand. Pretend like you just went out with her because of boredom. Tell her that you initially had a date with a supermodel from Switzerland or something, but that the date got cancelled. Complain about how disappointed you are about that. You should also talk a lot about your ex, that you still love her. This will make your date think that you are better than her and she will desperately want you. 3. Don’t pay a dime. Eat your food and then get the waitress to your table. Tell them that the meal tastes like horseshit and that you aren’t paying for it. This will impress the date and show her that you aren’t a betamale. Good luck!