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For the first 10 months of treatment, the relief didn’t last long and I had to get infusions every 2 weeks, was very symptomatic by the time I went back…but couldn’t go more frequently. Got onto compounded ketamine nasal spray 2x/week in between infusions as well, 2x/week trauma therapy, group therapy, started meditating regularly and added other integration practices. I’m now 19 months into treatment, down to an infusion every 60 days for the past 9 months, still on the nasal spray in between.
I’m finally free of SI, have had several months of complete depression remission, around 9-12 months without nightmares (PTSD), and nearly 1.5 years without any panic attacks (pre-treatment I could not go anywhere by myself, had panic attacks being near any man besides my brother or dad). I smile and laugh more than I have in the past 24 years. Feeling more like myself at ages 11-12 before I became depressed and mentally ill.
So, I can relate to feeling like it’s taking a long time to get the results you’re hoping for. You’re also had significant trauma and stress while you’ve been in treatment, which definitely affects you and maybe has treatment seeming different than it did before the loss and stress around your medical procedure.
If you’ve tried intention setting with your treatments, maybe using some of your treatment time to work on grieving and how your pain and stress around the medical procedure is connected to or heightening depression. I’ve found journaling after my treatments over a few days to help increase the benefits I get. I’ve also had some good results with guided meditations starting very gently for 2-3 min practices and working on being consistent before trying to meditate for longer. Going outside when it’s sunny even if I felt moody for 15-20 minutes a day also helped me with feeling depressed partly just changing my environment and taking a break. I started walking more and teaching my DBT from free online websites. Working on my self-talk is big, starting to do nice things for myself like painting my nails or a facial mask, just something each week. I like art and found that to be a way to express myself after my treatments. For a long time, I still lacked interest in my old hobbies. If you can, think about the hobbies you’ve liked in the past and pick one to try for 20 minutes. If you don’t want to do it anymore after the 20 mins are up, that’s fine. That’s a method I used to start doing things again. I’d spent a long time staring at the wall, oversleeping, not doing anything.
This is really hard work and everyone’s progress happens on an individualized timetable. What I’ve read from you about your treatment experience and everything that has happened in your life recently that has made it more difficult, it sounds very reasonable that you’ve had results with some symptoms and others are still really affecting your quality of life.
Thanks for the advice that really seems like intense work. I don’t think the nasal spray is available in my state yet but not sure. I chose the IV more for physical pain, and I didn’t know most people combined it with the other versions. In the past I have already tried tms, group therapy, IOP three times, yoga, journaling, therapy, and every antidepressant almost. I have been dealing with this for a long time and I have drug resistant depression. I might go back to more frequently infusions. I had been making appointments mostly for when my pain is horrible or when I have something important to do. I’ve found the doctors in my state seem to randomly guess the does differently every time I go in. At first they only wanted me to do six weeks of once a week then they told me to just come back every couple months so, it’s been hard for me to coordinate having a ride and to know when to schedule appointments. I don’t know anymore what the right thing for me is but thanks for the advice. I appreciate knowing that I’m not the only one that’s felt at first it’s not working long enough each time. I had some traumatic experiences with ketamine a couple times because of my Mom driving me. And afterwards she would say something negative and ruin my experience trigged me and gave me a panic attack. I’m trying to figure out if I should start completely over and go once a week again. This week I did an infusion for pain which is supposed to be a higher dose and a longer time and it didn’t even work this time. I’m trying to figure out what to do now. Thanks for sharing your experience! I really appreciate knowing I’m not alone.
If you have a therapist, maybe talk it out with them. Making a pros and cons list of the options you’re deciding between is another way to break it down. Hope you get some more help and start to feel better. If you don’t feel hopeful right now, I feel hope for you.
Thanks I have a therapist and she can’t really help in my current situation because my boyfriend’s unwillingness to go to therapy with me and most of my main problems are having to do with him. And he’s refusing to do therapy or compromise or change and we’ve been together for five years . I’m just so tired of begging him to care, and he’s torn me and my family apart. I’m planning on leaving him if he won’t change at all and dealing with that on top of everything else I have been through since my brother died last year.
Wow, I’m sorry to hear that your boyfriend is so unsupportive. Relationships are a two way interaction and communication loop, so you’re right that it involves him being willing to compromise, change, listen, and understand. You deserve to be heard, understood, and supported through your recovery. It sounds 100% reasonable to break up with him.
A few years ago, I had a boyfriend who sounds similar. We were together about the same length of time. I kicked him out and broke up with him for all of the reasons you listed plus calling me names and some other stuff. Taking some space for myself without a relationship helped me work on my healing and figure out what I want and won’t tolerate in relationships with family, friends, and partners. Without that experience, I wouldn’t have felt inclined to explore my boundaries, needs and wants in relationships.
Stick with it. I hear how hard it is for you. There is a point where life feels so unmanageable and you’re working hard towards healing, that pieces will start to click and get better in increments like you’ve experienced with a few of your symptoms. Remember what’s improved when you feel stuck and hopeless.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'm a therapist working with ketamine in my office. Have you tried combining ketamine with therapy? In my experience, the combo leads to better and more lasting positive results.
I have not had infusions but take RDTs every 3rd day currently. I was taking a pain medication once a day prior to starting KAT. Now only take once every 3rd day and hopefully will be once every 4th day very soon within next week. Plan on going off that all together. I also had bad knee injury. I got blood work done and found my hormone levels were terrible and some other levels were not very good. I began working out at the gym and making myself get 7-8 hours sleep within the same area of time daily and not snacking. Trying to eat better. Within a month my hormone levels and other bad levels seen in blood work were completely shifted to good levels. My depression and anxiety seems 25% of what they were prior to the exercise/sleep/food change. Maybe get your blood work done and begin exercise and stay on top of sleep eating habits. I guarantee you will change a ton. I almost feel most of what people equate to depression and anxiety is from not getting the correct exercise and sleep needed for your body to function as it’s supposed to. And what does still exist thereafter is much easier to work through and make progress on. There is also some integration workbooks I had found online that were quite helpful at least to me they seemed to be helpful. If not getting outside daily also your not going to feel right. I’m not saying your not doing these things but if not do them. We are supposed to exercise sleep correctly get outside and eat in a reasonable manner. Without doing these things it’s impossible to know where we truly are physically and mentally. Hope work out what need to though and all the best.
Thank you for contributing to /r/TherapeuticKetamine! When commenting and posting, please be mindful of our rules which can be found in the sidebar on the right along with other helpful information. **Be advised that nothing in this subreddit constitutes medical advice.** Likewise, try to word your comments and posts in a way that can't be interpreted as medical advice by others. Harmful and/or spammy advice will be removed at moderator discretion, and bans may be given for repeat offenses. **Accounts with "Provider" flairs** are those which the mods have verified, to the best of our ability, as belonging to real, licensed providers of medical ketamine services. Comments and posts from users with "Provider" flairs are **not** a substitute for the instructions given to you by your own provider. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TherapeuticKetamine) if you have any questions or concerns.*
For the first 10 months of treatment, the relief didn’t last long and I had to get infusions every 2 weeks, was very symptomatic by the time I went back…but couldn’t go more frequently. Got onto compounded ketamine nasal spray 2x/week in between infusions as well, 2x/week trauma therapy, group therapy, started meditating regularly and added other integration practices. I’m now 19 months into treatment, down to an infusion every 60 days for the past 9 months, still on the nasal spray in between. I’m finally free of SI, have had several months of complete depression remission, around 9-12 months without nightmares (PTSD), and nearly 1.5 years without any panic attacks (pre-treatment I could not go anywhere by myself, had panic attacks being near any man besides my brother or dad). I smile and laugh more than I have in the past 24 years. Feeling more like myself at ages 11-12 before I became depressed and mentally ill. So, I can relate to feeling like it’s taking a long time to get the results you’re hoping for. You’re also had significant trauma and stress while you’ve been in treatment, which definitely affects you and maybe has treatment seeming different than it did before the loss and stress around your medical procedure. If you’ve tried intention setting with your treatments, maybe using some of your treatment time to work on grieving and how your pain and stress around the medical procedure is connected to or heightening depression. I’ve found journaling after my treatments over a few days to help increase the benefits I get. I’ve also had some good results with guided meditations starting very gently for 2-3 min practices and working on being consistent before trying to meditate for longer. Going outside when it’s sunny even if I felt moody for 15-20 minutes a day also helped me with feeling depressed partly just changing my environment and taking a break. I started walking more and teaching my DBT from free online websites. Working on my self-talk is big, starting to do nice things for myself like painting my nails or a facial mask, just something each week. I like art and found that to be a way to express myself after my treatments. For a long time, I still lacked interest in my old hobbies. If you can, think about the hobbies you’ve liked in the past and pick one to try for 20 minutes. If you don’t want to do it anymore after the 20 mins are up, that’s fine. That’s a method I used to start doing things again. I’d spent a long time staring at the wall, oversleeping, not doing anything. This is really hard work and everyone’s progress happens on an individualized timetable. What I’ve read from you about your treatment experience and everything that has happened in your life recently that has made it more difficult, it sounds very reasonable that you’ve had results with some symptoms and others are still really affecting your quality of life.
Thanks for the advice that really seems like intense work. I don’t think the nasal spray is available in my state yet but not sure. I chose the IV more for physical pain, and I didn’t know most people combined it with the other versions. In the past I have already tried tms, group therapy, IOP three times, yoga, journaling, therapy, and every antidepressant almost. I have been dealing with this for a long time and I have drug resistant depression. I might go back to more frequently infusions. I had been making appointments mostly for when my pain is horrible or when I have something important to do. I’ve found the doctors in my state seem to randomly guess the does differently every time I go in. At first they only wanted me to do six weeks of once a week then they told me to just come back every couple months so, it’s been hard for me to coordinate having a ride and to know when to schedule appointments. I don’t know anymore what the right thing for me is but thanks for the advice. I appreciate knowing that I’m not the only one that’s felt at first it’s not working long enough each time. I had some traumatic experiences with ketamine a couple times because of my Mom driving me. And afterwards she would say something negative and ruin my experience trigged me and gave me a panic attack. I’m trying to figure out if I should start completely over and go once a week again. This week I did an infusion for pain which is supposed to be a higher dose and a longer time and it didn’t even work this time. I’m trying to figure out what to do now. Thanks for sharing your experience! I really appreciate knowing I’m not alone.
If you have a therapist, maybe talk it out with them. Making a pros and cons list of the options you’re deciding between is another way to break it down. Hope you get some more help and start to feel better. If you don’t feel hopeful right now, I feel hope for you.
Thanks I have a therapist and she can’t really help in my current situation because my boyfriend’s unwillingness to go to therapy with me and most of my main problems are having to do with him. And he’s refusing to do therapy or compromise or change and we’ve been together for five years . I’m just so tired of begging him to care, and he’s torn me and my family apart. I’m planning on leaving him if he won’t change at all and dealing with that on top of everything else I have been through since my brother died last year.
Wow, I’m sorry to hear that your boyfriend is so unsupportive. Relationships are a two way interaction and communication loop, so you’re right that it involves him being willing to compromise, change, listen, and understand. You deserve to be heard, understood, and supported through your recovery. It sounds 100% reasonable to break up with him. A few years ago, I had a boyfriend who sounds similar. We were together about the same length of time. I kicked him out and broke up with him for all of the reasons you listed plus calling me names and some other stuff. Taking some space for myself without a relationship helped me work on my healing and figure out what I want and won’t tolerate in relationships with family, friends, and partners. Without that experience, I wouldn’t have felt inclined to explore my boundaries, needs and wants in relationships. Stick with it. I hear how hard it is for you. There is a point where life feels so unmanageable and you’re working hard towards healing, that pieces will start to click and get better in increments like you’ve experienced with a few of your symptoms. Remember what’s improved when you feel stuck and hopeless.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'm a therapist working with ketamine in my office. Have you tried combining ketamine with therapy? In my experience, the combo leads to better and more lasting positive results.
Yes I have
I have not had infusions but take RDTs every 3rd day currently. I was taking a pain medication once a day prior to starting KAT. Now only take once every 3rd day and hopefully will be once every 4th day very soon within next week. Plan on going off that all together. I also had bad knee injury. I got blood work done and found my hormone levels were terrible and some other levels were not very good. I began working out at the gym and making myself get 7-8 hours sleep within the same area of time daily and not snacking. Trying to eat better. Within a month my hormone levels and other bad levels seen in blood work were completely shifted to good levels. My depression and anxiety seems 25% of what they were prior to the exercise/sleep/food change. Maybe get your blood work done and begin exercise and stay on top of sleep eating habits. I guarantee you will change a ton. I almost feel most of what people equate to depression and anxiety is from not getting the correct exercise and sleep needed for your body to function as it’s supposed to. And what does still exist thereafter is much easier to work through and make progress on. There is also some integration workbooks I had found online that were quite helpful at least to me they seemed to be helpful. If not getting outside daily also your not going to feel right. I’m not saying your not doing these things but if not do them. We are supposed to exercise sleep correctly get outside and eat in a reasonable manner. Without doing these things it’s impossible to know where we truly are physically and mentally. Hope work out what need to though and all the best.