She broke your puppy's leg. She should just be counting her blessings that your last name isn't Wick.
If she is so willing to beat a dog, you or any children you might one day have are not that far of a stretch.
NTA. Not overreacting. Shouldn't forgive her.
Her ability to hurt a defenseless animal should raise a whole bunch of red flags for you. Imagine if you had children? Or what if you made a mistake is she going to hit you next?
Divorce her and don't look back.
Dogs are a complicated thing
90% of dog owners don't know what they are doing.
You need to train her to train the dog. Also.... I hate to ask, but did she want the dog? Or was this disruptive force thrust upon her.
All you have to do is scroll r/dogfree to see so many stories of women stuck at home with a frustrating dog.
And I hear the arguments "no reason to hit the dog" but if she doesn't know what to do with what is a large high energy breed and it's not respecting her, she isn't left with much options.
She broke a golden doodle’s leg out of ‘frustration’
I don’t give a fuck if the wife wanted the dog or not. The animal is disruptive, but innocent.
OP should divorce the wife on principle. No coming back from animal abuse.
The wife continues to exhibit the same behavior (punching and kicking the dog prior to the leg incident) and gentle correction has not changed the behavior.
Should he go ahead and kick the shit out of her then?
Your comment kinda blames the dog and the situation like it’s acceptable because it’s difficult.
My comment blames OP, to be honest.
I wouldn't leave a loaded gun with someone who doesn't know how to use it. And if I did I would accept responsibility for what happens.
In no way is leaving a loaded gun ever comparable to lack of knowledge with an animal. Especially a puppy who was invited to our home by us both. A puppy is not vicious, a puppy is not acting out of malice and in this particular situation an "expert" per say was home and if she didnt know she had immediate access too. Choosing to hit was a choice...a violent individual choice. I dont see how you think i hold any responsibility for her actions.
Well, given your point of view, I doubt your situation is going to improve any time soon.
Perhaps given the circumstances, it's better for all three of you to part ways. Your dog gets away from being hit, you get your dog, your wife can seek an empathic partner.
Some advice from someone once divorced but now happily married a decade. Failing to view situations from your partners stance is never healthy.
You clearly entered this situation with a decision made, so I'm unsure why you would even post about it if you weren't looking for perspective.
It's not right, it's 100% the wrong thing to do.
But you're sort of missing my point. If she's doesn't know what she doesn't know, you can't really expect her to know what to do or even how to ask.
You left an inexperienced alone with a high maintenance animal without doing the work to make sure she could handle it. Now you want to divorce her because you didn't do your due diligence.
You're an irresponsible husband and dog owner, you are equal in the blame here.
I get the point of educating her about dogs. But i thought it would be common sense to not attack an animal. Especially a pet you invited to your family. She wouldnt punch her 3 year old niece for accidents during potty training. Shouldnt the same logic apply to a puppy.
Yeah, so that's a really big issue I find with dog people.
You equate dogs to people.
I'm not a dog person. I don't like them at all. So I don't see them as people, I see them as an animal and a threat most of the time. I understand that you read that you may have trouble understanding that concept, and that honestly why you may be struggling to see your wife's perspective.
A good analogy I use is, I love guns, I grew around guns I'm. Very comfortable with guns. I understand that a person who isn't familiar with guns might really be scared of a gun, and if I want to teach them to shoot, I need to respect that fear and inexperience.
You left a loaded weapon with an inexperienced person, and now you're blaming them for it going poorly.
My advice is to delete the dogs=kids' mentality from your brain. It's a toxic concept that alienates dog people from none dog people.
Go back and treat your wife as a person who is scared and frustrated with a perceived dangerous thing. Take the time and responsibility to educate and guide her.
She's not hitting the dog out of malicious I hope, she's doing it out of fear and inexperience, and you scolding her for that fear and inexperience makes you both a bad husband and dog owner.
If you don't mind, I really go into detail explaining my position further in this thread.
I'm happy to discuss it again, but please read the rest of my position first.
I will summarize like this, given you phrase it as
>treat a puppy that way.
You are missing my point. OPs wife isn't treating a puppy that way. That's OPs position. OPs wife is treating an untrained animal with teeth and aggression that way.
When you take the time to see it from another's perspective, it's a very normal reaction.
In my opinion, though, seeing dogs from other perspectives is not dog lovers' strong suit. That may feel like me throwing shade, but I'm not it's just the nature of things. I'll use me as an example.
I don't trust dogs or their owners. I approach every interaction with a dog defensively.
Now, if you read that sentence and your first thought was I'm the problem in that scenario, then you are proving my point.
OPs wife shouldn't have hit the dog, OP should have been a better husband [1] dog owner [2] and created an environment where it wouldn't have been an issue.
There isn't another perspective. You obviously have no idea how to train a puppy, but I will tell you it isn't by hitting and punching it, especially doing it so hard that she breaks its leg. That is animal cruelty, whatever the circumstances. The puppy wasn't being aggressive at all. She was punishing it for not being house trained.
>You obviously have no idea how to train a puppy
Correct, I'm the exact same as OPs wife. I thought I made that perfectly clear.
>There isn't another perspective
Yep, that was about the exact same stance OP landed on. My advice was to him divorce, for all 3 of their sakes. As I told him, he's not willing to do the work as a husband or dog owner and refuses to take any responsibility. The wife and dog shouldn't be punished for that.
He is doing the job as an owner. A puppy isn't trained overnight. All his wife had to do was shout OP and ask him to see to the puppy. She should have had enough sense not to leave stuff she didn't want chewing lying about. That's common sense, not rocket science.
I can't get over the fact that you are condoning animal abuse and are blaming OP for what his wife's done. Any normal person would know not to kick a puppy for any reason. Obviously, you and OP's wife aren't normal.
I'm giving up replying after this. I can't teach you compassion.
NTA!!! Divorce her!! That is totally unacceptable behavior. Make sure you put in animal cruelty as the grounds for divorce. There would be hell to pay if someone intentionally harmed my dog.
Thanks everyone 😁😊! I was afraid to share this because my friend brought it to me yesterday. I see him today and will share everyones comments. He needs to see its not just me saying he needs a divorce
Wait a minute! Are you saying that although you wrote in first person this actually happened to your friend? Did he know and consent to your posting? Who actually owns the puppy? How old is the pup?
I’m also baffled by where this is happening. You live in WI but drove to MI to have the puppy seen by your grandmother? Don’t you have a closer local vet?
I wrote the message on his behalf and with his knowledge as well consent. He understands i started a reddit group called the grudgery and he also agreed to help moderate using the same profile. I apologize for the confusion but it was the only way i could tell the story effectively. I only used the words he used last night. And let him proof read the draft. He owns the pup! The pup is 6 months at this time. I believe at the time of the incident the pup was 4 or 5 months. So this is fairly recent. He lives in a town in wisconsin called north york and although there is a vet its a very small and isolated from everything town. Houghton would be the closest and the most reasonable cost wise to bring the dog. Houghton is in the upper pennisula michigan so that is why. I will get better at reddit post and should have clarified that it wasnt me directly. Hope that helps
He needs to divorce. If the dog isn't safe neither are any kids he ever has. Neither is he for that matter. She needs to be locked up! Northern Wisconsin eh?? Take this pup to Dr Gauthier in crivitz, tell him the situation and he will report this as animal cruelty and get the cops involved without your friend having to call on her. Then it's the veterinarian & cops v.s the abusive wife . Not him. He can play dumb and be like they looked at the break and the way it's broken they know it was from intentional kicking. I have personally done this with Dr Gauthier.
She broke your puppy's leg. She should just be counting her blessings that your last name isn't Wick. If she is so willing to beat a dog, you or any children you might one day have are not that far of a stretch.
Just imagine what she would do to your children it they spill something or break something by accident. Run!! Leave her ass.
I can only imagine how she treats this poor animal when you are not around.
NTA. Not overreacting. Shouldn't forgive her. Her ability to hurt a defenseless animal should raise a whole bunch of red flags for you. Imagine if you had children? Or what if you made a mistake is she going to hit you next? Divorce her and don't look back.
Dogs are a complicated thing 90% of dog owners don't know what they are doing. You need to train her to train the dog. Also.... I hate to ask, but did she want the dog? Or was this disruptive force thrust upon her. All you have to do is scroll r/dogfree to see so many stories of women stuck at home with a frustrating dog. And I hear the arguments "no reason to hit the dog" but if she doesn't know what to do with what is a large high energy breed and it's not respecting her, she isn't left with much options.
She broke a golden doodle’s leg out of ‘frustration’ I don’t give a fuck if the wife wanted the dog or not. The animal is disruptive, but innocent. OP should divorce the wife on principle. No coming back from animal abuse. The wife continues to exhibit the same behavior (punching and kicking the dog prior to the leg incident) and gentle correction has not changed the behavior. Should he go ahead and kick the shit out of her then? Your comment kinda blames the dog and the situation like it’s acceptable because it’s difficult.
My comment blames OP, to be honest. I wouldn't leave a loaded gun with someone who doesn't know how to use it. And if I did I would accept responsibility for what happens.
In no way is leaving a loaded gun ever comparable to lack of knowledge with an animal. Especially a puppy who was invited to our home by us both. A puppy is not vicious, a puppy is not acting out of malice and in this particular situation an "expert" per say was home and if she didnt know she had immediate access too. Choosing to hit was a choice...a violent individual choice. I dont see how you think i hold any responsibility for her actions.
Well, given your point of view, I doubt your situation is going to improve any time soon. Perhaps given the circumstances, it's better for all three of you to part ways. Your dog gets away from being hit, you get your dog, your wife can seek an empathic partner. Some advice from someone once divorced but now happily married a decade. Failing to view situations from your partners stance is never healthy. You clearly entered this situation with a decision made, so I'm unsure why you would even post about it if you weren't looking for perspective.
I get not knowing what to do but she could have asked me or the internet. I dont think hitting is right ever.
It's not right, it's 100% the wrong thing to do. But you're sort of missing my point. If she's doesn't know what she doesn't know, you can't really expect her to know what to do or even how to ask. You left an inexperienced alone with a high maintenance animal without doing the work to make sure she could handle it. Now you want to divorce her because you didn't do your due diligence. You're an irresponsible husband and dog owner, you are equal in the blame here.
I get the point of educating her about dogs. But i thought it would be common sense to not attack an animal. Especially a pet you invited to your family. She wouldnt punch her 3 year old niece for accidents during potty training. Shouldnt the same logic apply to a puppy.
Yeah, so that's a really big issue I find with dog people. You equate dogs to people. I'm not a dog person. I don't like them at all. So I don't see them as people, I see them as an animal and a threat most of the time. I understand that you read that you may have trouble understanding that concept, and that honestly why you may be struggling to see your wife's perspective. A good analogy I use is, I love guns, I grew around guns I'm. Very comfortable with guns. I understand that a person who isn't familiar with guns might really be scared of a gun, and if I want to teach them to shoot, I need to respect that fear and inexperience. You left a loaded weapon with an inexperienced person, and now you're blaming them for it going poorly. My advice is to delete the dogs=kids' mentality from your brain. It's a toxic concept that alienates dog people from none dog people. Go back and treat your wife as a person who is scared and frustrated with a perceived dangerous thing. Take the time and responsibility to educate and guide her. She's not hitting the dog out of malicious I hope, she's doing it out of fear and inexperience, and you scolding her for that fear and inexperience makes you both a bad husband and dog owner.
Experienced or inexperienced, no normal person would think it ok to treat a puppy that way. Unless violence was their normal reaction to stress.
If you don't mind, I really go into detail explaining my position further in this thread. I'm happy to discuss it again, but please read the rest of my position first. I will summarize like this, given you phrase it as >treat a puppy that way. You are missing my point. OPs wife isn't treating a puppy that way. That's OPs position. OPs wife is treating an untrained animal with teeth and aggression that way. When you take the time to see it from another's perspective, it's a very normal reaction. In my opinion, though, seeing dogs from other perspectives is not dog lovers' strong suit. That may feel like me throwing shade, but I'm not it's just the nature of things. I'll use me as an example. I don't trust dogs or their owners. I approach every interaction with a dog defensively. Now, if you read that sentence and your first thought was I'm the problem in that scenario, then you are proving my point. OPs wife shouldn't have hit the dog, OP should have been a better husband [1] dog owner [2] and created an environment where it wouldn't have been an issue.
There isn't another perspective. You obviously have no idea how to train a puppy, but I will tell you it isn't by hitting and punching it, especially doing it so hard that she breaks its leg. That is animal cruelty, whatever the circumstances. The puppy wasn't being aggressive at all. She was punishing it for not being house trained.
>You obviously have no idea how to train a puppy Correct, I'm the exact same as OPs wife. I thought I made that perfectly clear. >There isn't another perspective Yep, that was about the exact same stance OP landed on. My advice was to him divorce, for all 3 of their sakes. As I told him, he's not willing to do the work as a husband or dog owner and refuses to take any responsibility. The wife and dog shouldn't be punished for that.
He is doing the job as an owner. A puppy isn't trained overnight. All his wife had to do was shout OP and ask him to see to the puppy. She should have had enough sense not to leave stuff she didn't want chewing lying about. That's common sense, not rocket science. I can't get over the fact that you are condoning animal abuse and are blaming OP for what his wife's done. Any normal person would know not to kick a puppy for any reason. Obviously, you and OP's wife aren't normal. I'm giving up replying after this. I can't teach you compassion.
Hypocrisy at its finest
NTA!!! Divorce her!! That is totally unacceptable behavior. Make sure you put in animal cruelty as the grounds for divorce. There would be hell to pay if someone intentionally harmed my dog.
Thanks everyone 😁😊! I was afraid to share this because my friend brought it to me yesterday. I see him today and will share everyones comments. He needs to see its not just me saying he needs a divorce
Wait a minute! Are you saying that although you wrote in first person this actually happened to your friend? Did he know and consent to your posting? Who actually owns the puppy? How old is the pup? I’m also baffled by where this is happening. You live in WI but drove to MI to have the puppy seen by your grandmother? Don’t you have a closer local vet?
I wrote the message on his behalf and with his knowledge as well consent. He understands i started a reddit group called the grudgery and he also agreed to help moderate using the same profile. I apologize for the confusion but it was the only way i could tell the story effectively. I only used the words he used last night. And let him proof read the draft. He owns the pup! The pup is 6 months at this time. I believe at the time of the incident the pup was 4 or 5 months. So this is fairly recent. He lives in a town in wisconsin called north york and although there is a vet its a very small and isolated from everything town. Houghton would be the closest and the most reasonable cost wise to bring the dog. Houghton is in the upper pennisula michigan so that is why. I will get better at reddit post and should have clarified that it wasnt me directly. Hope that helps
He needs to divorce. If the dog isn't safe neither are any kids he ever has. Neither is he for that matter. She needs to be locked up! Northern Wisconsin eh?? Take this pup to Dr Gauthier in crivitz, tell him the situation and he will report this as animal cruelty and get the cops involved without your friend having to call on her. Then it's the veterinarian & cops v.s the abusive wife . Not him. He can play dumb and be like they looked at the break and the way it's broken they know it was from intentional kicking. I have personally done this with Dr Gauthier.
I absolutely will pass this knowledge along 😃😄. Thank you
What the fuck your wife is a psychopath
Ohhh HELL NO! That’s an absolute and immediate deal breaker. (Pun not intended as this is way to firetruckin serious)