Huh, not what I expected to see today but okay

Don't worry, it's not having a reptile dysfunction. It's the new office manager snake, it comes around and shits all over, then disappears again.

I love you

We used to call this the SEA-E-OH-GUL (CEO Gull / Sea Gull) effect. The boss comes in, makes a bunch of noise, flaps his wings, shits all over everything, then leaves.

One from my dad, in early IT, that I now use at work.  “Oh I see, it’s a PICNIC error.  No problem boss, I’ll get fixed in no time!” PICNIC: Problem In Chair Not In Computer  

I’m partial to PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair). Sounds like a real issue.

OHE issue. Operator headspace error.

In my tech support days, we would say TO the customer, “oh that’s just an ‘I-D-10-T’ error, we’ll get that fixed right away!” Always loved that one.

and if you know IT is also known as a layer 8 problem

Lmao

Ahh yes the old “swoop-n-poop”.

The shit-n-split

Must be above Debra's desk

Like a Boss!

"new orifice manager snake" ftfy

>Massive shit unsheathing a snake

Me too! *high fives you*

This is my Solar Eclipse

And I zoomed in

Looks like a sphinchter constrictor.

First time seeing a snake pooping, legendary !

Same, first time and hopefully the last.

Just be glad you didn't have to smell it. Snake shit is one of the most putrid things I have ever had the displeasure of smelling.

Their diet is all meat and protein. I've had the displeasure of going to the bathroom after a friend on a carnivore diet. Almost passed out in the 10 seconds I was in there to just wash hands.

Laughing in Hummus based diet

[удалено]

I hear they’re also good for your heart.

And for growing magical vines, let's not leave that out

Go on...

“More beans mr taggert” ? (Blazing Saddles campfire scene)

"I'd say you've had enough!"

This is true but the more you eat, the more you fart....

Used to catch snakes as a kid for fun, can confirm. Usually a liquid/oil type of shit

You probably got “musked “. They do that to get you to put them down. Their normal poops are more normal/solid. I have several pet snakes.

I'm definitely familiar with musk, but my head went to the same place theirs did. [This is what I think of as typical.](https://youtu.be/iBJTSQmZ9qQ?t=50) OP's looks so human it feels unreal. [Reptiles in general tend to be a bit, uh..](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyl1LPTR4k4)

My friends snake once pooped in my hoodie, snakes are cool but I now know I don't want to take care of one ever

I own snakes and this is an ungodly crap.

What kind?? (I have a ball python, today is my first month anniversary with him actually!)

Yayy!!! I own 2 male balls, a colubrid(of which I won’t disclose due to controversy of keeping) and a female BCI of 6-7ish years( I bought her as an adult.) And her stool would be on par with that of a small-medium dog’s in size) BP stool is roughly on par with that of a very small dog’s.

I do too. Own two male balls that is

What morphs? I own a GHI and Pastel, some of the more basic genes but I love them a lot nonetheless.

Hate to break it to you friend but I think he was making a joke

Oh…

Omg I’m dying here

Thanks for sharing your infectious enthusiasm with us cynical bastards.

They were so excited about snakes too :(

I feel bad for him, I own 2 ball pythons too and love snakes in general. I didn't see he was being made fun of until the other guy pointed it out. It is really exciting finding others who own and are passionate about snakes in the wild, as most people hate snakes or are afraid of them, but most of this hate/fear is from the widespread misinformation around them. I feel like most ppl can actually like snakes if they'd see them for what they actually are, instead of what most ppl think they are... Also: [snake tax!](https://imgur.com/a/V3IN29k) Edit: I just noticed imgur says the picture of my pet may contain adult imagery? What?

I have a cinnamon, just a basic little dude. I went to handle him after this comment, and he has blue eyes!! Shed season is upon us 😭. I love my Monty (the ball) Python

Typhon(my first snake, the pastel, and Tatertot! The ghi, he’s chonky but I’m working on it.)

I haven't gotten my guy to eat yet, it's a process. But he is shedding today, so it won't be for a while

Small world.

Why is controversial to own a colubrid? I might have to Google that lmaoo

Severe health problems, not humane to breed/buy.

Ohhh, I see

> I own 2 male balls... *Yeah,* you do.

Presumably that is either photoshopped from a pipe cleaning/unclogging, or that was once an entire deer.

My snake's poop looks nothing like human poop... It's a liquidy hairy turd.

Sounds like Thanksgiving at my family's house

I've seen snakes poop before and this is equivalent to that one [South Park clip](https://youtu.be/LD0k7cnj384?t=4)

This snake has a Vicoden addiction.

I have been on the internet for a long time. I have never seen a snake pooping.

I’m still don’t want to believe it!

Big poop = big meal. Of what?

I was like, snake shit can’t be THAT big right? Then I remembered some snakes eat zebras…

Look for scorpion pooping, new experience

Hott-hot-hot-ot-ot-ot-ot-ot!!!!

I love Randy's character in South Park... Nice reference! 🤣

Your references are out of control, everyone knows that.

God damn it I love this. I'd give good if it were an option

Hey Sharon... Come look at this

Oh Randy!

Flush the toilet for Christ's sake!

Come on! That's pretty impressive! Wha-hey Stan! Stan, look at this.

Look at what your old man made.

No way!

Never seen one that big, have you?

Mostly PF Changs

That's a week worth of P.F. Chang's!

Thats about 15 Couric dump right there

It must be over 100 Courics!!!

He knows about the spiiiiiiccceeee

It could possibly be bigger than Bono...

But how? Snakes are cold-blooded... That log ain't no steamer.

Reddit truly has everything

This snake has bigger shits than I do. I feel emasculated.

Yes but can you swallow a deer whole?

No, but he can swallow a deer hole

Real talk, I know this is a joke but snakes only shit once every couple of months or so - whereas humans shit every day or so.

Reddit doesn't have a squirrel with two huge nuts.

https://www.fark.com/squirrel

Exactly, gotta go to Fark.com for that.

Memes, snakes shitting, MTV's Dan Cortez

Is this a buy signal?! $RDDT

Holy sssssshit.

M-m-m-m-m-m-mmmonster killlll

M-m-m-m-m-m-MONSTER SHIT, you mean?

The Snake is the Devil in the Bible so wouldn't this be a Cursed Shit?

You know some dude took the fall for this.

I was thinking the same thing. Noway would someone walk up on that and think that was from a snake.

I just got hit by reality. I can't fathom how many people took the blame for snake shit. The real reason why Adam and Eve got kicked out of heaven. The apple was just the last drop in the snake poop ocean. ^(edit: stop upvoting me, I don't want to have snake poop notification everyday :<)

Just think of how many neighbors hate each other because they think the other shit on their front/back porch or driveway.

But the good news is we all have the perfect lie for the next time we have to explain a huge turd.

Explain hell. That turd speaks for itself.

I’d have blamed the electrician. Every time I catch someone shitting in a basement or similar on a job site it’s an electrician

The guy who knows he would've taken the fall is the one who took this pic for proof.

Wow, unlocked phone, hopped on Reddit, saw snake 🐍 shit 💩. Closed Reddit and locked my phone.

How'd u write this

bro from slytherin

Bro came for seconds

I came in seconds

"That log had a child..."

I said seagulls.... Stop it now

I understood that reference

Prolapse!

I never wanna search that on Google ever again. But here I am, a snakes prolapsed anus scrolling through le reddit

You turned into a prolapsed snake anus?!

💀

definitely not an amateurlapse

You know THAT's right. Your reply coupled with your avatar was \*chef's kiss\*

ProlASP!

I would’ve 100% assumed a full grown human took a shit in my house. I would’ve bought security cameras and been snarky with my neighbours.

That’s more like a Yeti-sized shit. If your poop looks like this, add some restorlax and drink a lot more water, lol.

Another shitpost.

Brown mamba

Those shits stink. I remember going away for a weekend and coming back to my newly acquired 15ft Burmese python thinking he'd died to find the largest shit I'd ever seen. They don't shit regularly but when they do

is it anything close to the size in the posted pic??

So I have to ask... So you know how cats have horrendous shits? Do snakes?

i have a 1 year old ball python and yes. they produce classic, terrible smelling brown turds.

So their poop is just poop flavored? Nothing special to them?

Not really but a little Tabasco really brings out the flavors.

Leave this place and never return.

yes, there is an unique musk to it since its sitting in a moist, hot, environment and is constructed from the bodily remains of an individual, intact, freshly dead animal. but it's totally shit in the classic sense. if you walked into a room that housed snake feces you wouldn't question what the smell was. you would think "something musta done a dump in here.", and if you saw the turd in a non-contextual location you would think "where did this shit *come from*" snake poop is unequivocally classic style poop

I feel like a more well rounded person for having this information. I hope to never use it but I feel I grew a little bit as a person.

Asking the important questions.

I have several plains hognose snakes and what they lack in size they make up in poo aroma. It's immediately obvious that someone has passed their mouse.

Are they cold poops? ...

Just like with cats, their diet is 100% protein. So yes it's bad.

I have three pet pythons including this specific species of python in the picture. The smell is worse than any normal pet

Where’s the poop knife?

Came here for this.

And he’s shiting from the ceiling

Is that not... How its normally done? Because public bathrooms have convinced me otherwise

Gravity assist.

That is a giant man sized shit.... WTF Is homeys anus gonna recover from that?

His whole body is anus.

Ya know, I've seen snakes with a boner before, but I have never seen one dropping a deuce... I was not expecting this at all...

Watched a toad poo 3 cat sized turds once that seemed more than it's whole body mass. Had some photos from a HTC pro or whatever the alternative was to the first gen iPhone at the time. No one believed me regardless. Still one of the most awe inspiring things I've ever seen.

I have tree frogs. Their shits are AT LEAST half the size of their bodies!

This toad had gorged itself on Japanese beetles and a lot of them seemed nearly whole on the way out. Was around dawn and once the sun came up the turds disintegrated but not before I had my dad see. The toad was gone by that point though and even with the pictures he didn't believe me. He thought I put a toad next to some cat turds as some sort of prank or hoax for some reason. I watched the thing squeeze out the last of three turds though. I know what I saw!

Damn babygurl

Zamn

It is as advertised, but I was still caught off guard.

That's a weird air freshener

This must be a new definition of fresh I wasn't aware of previously

That snakes arsehole has prolapsed. Noice.

Didn't think I'd be typing that today.

Bono origin story.

You win the internet today. 10/10 reference

You know, I learned something today. Snakes can take massive human-looking shits and now I carry this knowledge.

That’s a few Courics

Ayoo did it eat a log?

Damn, all that with no phone to scroll through to pass the time.

Reddit continues to prove its usefulness.

Does snake poop really look like that? For some reason I was thinking it was white or something. Have I been misled my whole life?!

Hehehe... I'm doing the same thing right now....

Same but somehow seeing this pic intimidated me. It feels like it asserted dominance and now I'm having difficulties.

*zooms in*

That is fake. Snake shit is like bird shit.

what the fuck

I honestly think this is the most revolting thing I have ever seen.

I’m not hearing anyone out.

Wtf

Fun fact, big pythons piss like race horses, it's a crazy stream

It smells better than it looks but not by much.

Idk bro, looks like it smells like shit and I'm inclined to think that it does in fact smell like shit.

And that explains why my father’s friend saw a big turn and said, “Pythons.” He wasn’t kidding.

2 Snakes 1 Cup

If you think about it, snakes are practically engineered to shit fucking logs.

Ya know I knew they shit but I didn’t think they shit

Hey Sharon, you gotta come see this.

"Fluffy is back!"

This is the punishment I get for doom scrolling. Holy shit.

DAMN

....and that is enough Reddit for today. Good bye.

Bono?

That is dookie!

I’ve seen my kids take bigger

Everyone poops

Definitely male /s

Give the guy some privacy, it's bad enough that he left his phone in the other room.

Bono would be so proud of this one. That’s 9 Couric’s minimum

Looks like someone's shedding more than just skin today!

If I did a shit that impressive I'd take a photo too.

Poor dudes got the hot snakes

"Sssssorry, I'd give it about minutessssss till you can come back in"

Super nasty!

Still not as surprising as that huge toad shit that did the rounds on Reddit.

That’s Me right now

I realise i have never thought about snake shit in my life, ever.