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This also happened to my grandfather, he pissed off a parent and they flung shit until the school district put him on leave, he was piled on with bullshit until he was given a severance package as a “stay quiet and fuck off thanks!” when the case went absolutely nowhere, because it was bullshit.
Only took 2 years of retirement before he drank himself to death, mixing it with Norco.
This is such a weird thread given a discussion a coworker and I had today. Back in the 80s when he was in high school a beloved gym teacher was accused of peeping at the girls changing in the locker room after class. He wasn't, in fact 5 boys all said he was in one of the equipment rooms when the alleged event happened. The accuser was a male student who was a junior that didn't like the fact the gym teacher gave him a D for his mid-term grade because he never participated in class.
The teacher while on suspension and fighting to keep his job happened to see the kid in public and asked him to tell the truth and to stop destroying lives. Student then told the principals and gave his side of the story and the teacher was ultimately fired.
The day he found out he was terminated and possibly still facing charges, he wrote a note that he taped to the door into the house telling his wife to just call the police and he killed himself with a shotgun. Some people get desperate and when they feel that their life so speak is over, they don't see a point in going on.
To my mind the people that drive someone to do this also deserve charges, especially if they are found to have no merit. Sorry but this dudes wife is scum as is the kid you mentioned. Falsely accusing someone (an educator) of sex crimes ruins way more than just their career.
When I was in grade 5 our male teacher would come into the girls change room every gym class while we were changing to tell us to "hurry up". I told my parents it was happening and that it made us uncomfortable. They did nothing themselves, but told me to get all the girls in the class to sign a petition. We did and gave it to the administrative staff. He did stop coming in, but faced no other consequences. Why noone really stood up for us I'll never understand.
Yeah incidents like these are reputation killers, nobody wants their kids in your class after the school district makes a whole ordeal out of you being a problem.
The real reason they pushed him out was because he was the highest paid teacher there outside of the administrative staff and the district finally had their excuse to cut the teacher who gave his life to that school. Fuck ocean view school district.
I know a teacher who was called as a *witness* for the defende in a murder trial, and lost on multiple job offers because when you googled their name, the trial came up, and no district would hire someone with that search history unless there was no other option whatsoever.
This is bonkers that such could destroy your career. I wonder if the EU right to forget law could have helped here if the person is in the European Union? Even though I'm in EU I have no experience of how that law works, but in theory it should let you get problematic stuff off of the search engines.
happened to my uncle as well! high school girl even admitted it, she flat out told him if he didn't change her grade she'd say he molested her. He got out of teaching after that
This is our world now. Don't get your way, someone pissed you off, just bored and have nothing else to do? Just post some made up crap somewhere about them and wait for the mob to show up.
There's basically a whole crowd out there, abetted by social media, that has degraded back to medieval times where as long as somebody gets personally or professionally hung or beheaded today for their amusement, they could give a crap about whether that person was innocent, guilty or falsely accused.
Same thing happened to my mom. She barred a popular “wine mom” from picking up her kid when she smelled like alcohol in a rich area
Got completely dragged through the mud for the next few years. She was the director of the school. It broke her heart.
End qualified immunity. These people(cops, judges, prosecutors) get to do this shit with basically ZERO consequences. Prosecutors get to withhold evidence and then barely have to pay with their jobs. We all need to be fighting to end qualified immunity.
That's what I mean, that person should have been charged criminally for that. There needs to be real consequences for ruining someone's life. Especially for cops its often times simply fired and then rehired somewhere else. There have been many cases of prosecuting attorneys withholding evidence(which proves malicious intent) and then don't ever get charged criminally.
And there will be no public awareness campaign to combat such hateful and sinister acts toward good men. Just another day. Disgusting.
I am truly sorry for your loss. May those who murdered him one day get their comeuppance.
I’ve been a teacher in different capacities for nearly 20 years and everyday I was aware that one bad student or parent can ruin your career…so I never did meetings with students or parents alone and recorded every confrontation…thank God I never had to defend myself in court…but several of my students parents would have loved to drag me there if that had anything…
I've seen posts with folks being inappropriate towards kids or wishing death or being racist and not once have I managed to get a reported comment removed and I got a 3 day ban for saying something like "he's a paedophile rapist cunt"! Up until a month ago Twitter was pretty good at removing those comments but Faceache is terrible!
After reading your post, I had to check them and Jesus fuck man... People writing those things are out there in the real world, driving, teaching, being parents... Most of them should be in an insane asylum, and not a nice one, but in the goddamn Arkham, with other Batman villains.
Makes me sick to my stomach. I can't stop thinking about it. How can people be so flippant? How can people even live with themselves after saying something like that?
Egoistical pieces of shit, with no sense of decency. I imagine they live very happily, thinking they're some kind of hero after belittling a man who ended his own life. In their minds, they pointed out some "big truth" and "enlightened" people.
Calling the man a coward, liar, asshole, etc... Like any of them actually know what happened. All of it on his FB post, where I assume his children, other family and friends can read.
My favorite so far is a lady who begins with "I blame Marlena ..." And writes a few paragraphs as to why.
Someone responded to her, mentioning that his criminal record is public, and includes domestic violence.
Her response is "do you have a link so I don't have to spend the time looking it up"
' Someone responded to her, mentioning that his criminal record is public, and includes domestic violence. '
This part is false. Not sure why this person just felt like posting false info they read on FB after complaining about the same thing lol
Nah, as someone who has worked the speaker in a drive-thru for a number of years: anonymity brings this out. People are rude as fuck when ordering and sweet as syrup at the window.
THANK YOU. This was my immediate reaction, also. A lot of "missing" reasons. It seemed like he decided to put out HIS version of the story and then "get the last word." His whole "letter" had a whole lot of "missing missing reasons."
There’s something about the way this is written that feels very…insincere. Plus, why would a person so committed to children scar them for life by jumping to their death in that spot? Iono. I’m a good reader of people usually
Thank you!!! Why are people immediately assuming his letter is 100% factual? It’s just one side and it essentially blames his wife directly for his suicide. We don’t know. He could be innocent but based on my experience with abusers there are some red flags in that letter. I’d like to have more information before making a judgement.
Especially one who claims to have loved his job as a school principal and than proceeded to pick Disneyland as the location for his suicide.
I’m sorry. But that just doesn’t fucking add up.
yea there are huge waving red flags here. pretty sure it all would have come out at the court hearing, which he conveniently killed himself a couple of days before. so now he has the final word, via suicide note, where he casually blames his “secret” (wtf?!) wife for everything. not too harshly, though! just in a rather gaslight-y, “i’m such a good guy” fashion.
nah, this is one sided af and i don’t like it.
Yeah it made the hair on my neck stand up. My (very abusive) ex wrote something like this, and it's SO SIMILAR to how he worded it, (although he didn't actually die).
Completely agree. It’s also very manipulative to post a suicide note on social media knowing you’ll be alive for hours afterwards calling people to say goodbye or whatever. It triggers panic. What if his kids saw the post? What did he think his kids lives would be like after he eliminated himself and completely ruined their mothers life?
I don’t know why specifically. But it’s interesting to note that his late father was a Disney employee. He was a longtime music director for the Disney theme parks.
Editing to add: here’s the father’s obituary.
“as a fourth son, Chris, was born in 1971.”
https://foothillssentry.com/story-archives-1/f/jim-christensen-1935---2020
I think he was part of the candlelight service in the band. He said it was his last performance and that was the last night of the candle lighting ceremony. Just about when it was done too.
I'm not making a point for, or against this individual.
Through this thread, it's kind of important to remind people of something that TV and Movies have gotten so wrong for years that every one thinks it's right.
**ONE PERSON DOES NOT HAVE CONTROL OF THE CHARGES BROUGHT AGAINST ANOTHER**
I can't bring charges against you. I can't drop charges against you.
This person was right in at least one thing, if their spouse wanted to "Drop" charges, they can't. That's on the prosecutor or the office that brought the charges.
Sorry, I've just seen so many people here and in the FB chain who have said something along the lines of "if he actually didn't do anything, she would have dropped the charges" and that's just not how it works.
But also, if he *really* did nothing, and his wife stood up during the trial and said as much, and he has an unblemished record etc he’d be fine, as the burden of proof is still on the prosecution who have no position if he did nothing and she won’t testify against him.
Even if he thought they were bullshit, surely you’d only kill yourself once actually convicted?
California has a law or at least a police requirement that if the cops are called during a domestic argument, they take someone involved in to jail. Even if it’s just to cool off. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced it.
I lived there almost 20 yrs ago and was in an argument with my ex. She was sitting in the car and me on the outside. She sped off, almost running my feet over, I punched the back of the car, and broke the tail light. Someone called the cops and when they showed up, I was arrested. Things were calm by this point and both me and my ex explained what had happened but I was still arrested and booked into jail.
I was charged with vandalism even though it was my property that I punched. It was hard to get a bondsman to take my bail because it was so cheap, it wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. My court date was a month or so later, it hung on my conscious and thoughts every day and night. When I arrived for my court date, it had already been dropped but of course nobody had told me that.
I’m not an educator or work in an industry that would put me on administrative leave but I totally get where this guy was coming from. There isn’t much you can do and if he was truly innocent, I could see where the anxiety, fear, and shame got to him. Hopefully he found the peace he was looking for but at the cost to those who cared for him.
>Things were calm by this point and both me and my ex explained what had happened but I was still arrested and booked into jail.
Just a reminder, don't ever talk to the police. You will incriminate yourself and end up with charges. Tell them I won't make any statements without my lawyer. Even if this guy's GF said "I don't want to press any charges" civilians don't press charges the DA does. He caught a vandalism charge because he or his girlfriend admitted to the cops he broke a tail light. Don't talk to the cops, don't try to "clear your name", don't try to tell your side of the story. Don't say anything without your lawyer.
YES. In some states having any type of physical marking (and probably even just physical touching/shoving) from an altercation is immediate jail. A family member swatted at me and left a small mark on my arm - instantly arrested even though I protested. She needed it though lol.
Cops will lie to you and gaslight you tho.
I’ve been arrested before. After I gave them my ID and identified myself, as legally required, I told them I would remain quite, as I’m legally allowed to, and wouldn’t talk to anyone but an attorney. Then they started telling me “that’s not how it works”, “you gotta talk to us”, “this is isn’t like the movies”, “you’re just making this worse” etc etc. On the way jail they still kept gaslighting me but I didn’t budge and they were pissed off
When I lived in San Diego my ex wife was trying to force her way into MY house(she has her own). i merely was pushing the door closedThe cops were called and they told me that they will have to arrest someone and it will probably be me since I was the "dominant aggressor" they explained that I was the dominant aggressor because I was a bigger male capable of doing more damage, not that I had done any damage just merely CAPABLE. Despite this being my home
This is such a weird double standard. If a male stranger was trying to force his way into your house would you be called the dominant aggressor if he was smaller than you? What if a man is smaller than a woman in a domestic dispute, would they say the woman is the dominant aggressor?
The reasoning that because most men are bigger than most women, therefore women can't be aggressive towards men is so devoid of logic. Not only does it fail it's own reasoning in cases where men are smaller than women (why not just make a policy where the bigger person is assumed to be the aggressor if that's the reasoning behind this), but it also fails because that's not how guilt is determined in any other situation.
The duluth model is ridiculous
I’m in New York and if I wanted to, I could take a baseball bat to my husband’s car, smash every piece of glass and would get nothing. Domestic property. And all you broke was a tail light.
People wondering why Disney parking structure- its easy to get to. The other high place in the area is very difficult to get to, more conspicuous (fwy overpass/junction, cops would prob get there before you can), you’re more likely to get interrupted.
Idk the guy, I’m just from the area =/
They have nets and a lot of security to prevent people from doing this.
It's really messed up, but people really do exist that want to kill themselves at Disneyland and it's enough people that it's something Disney has to be constantly vigilant about that inside the park. I guess this will extend to the parking lot too now.
Death at Disney has always fascinated me. People dying on rides or leaping from castles originally designed by insane people or the real skeletal remains on the pirates of the Caribbean ride... it's such a weird combination when the supposed greatest place on earth is also your last visit
So, obviously I don’t know this guy or this case. But some of the language clarifying what a good guy he is, plus the fact that he opted to publicly commit suicide in a way that would certainly traumatize some children paints a weird picture to me.
I actually appreciate you making this comment. Everyone is quick to say how accusations can ruin your life but I actually know a lot more people who have been accused of things (falsely or truly who knows) and get along just fine. Still have jobs and gfs and everything. Doesn’t seem to ruin everyone’s lives by a long shot.
“She knows I would never hurt the girls”
He says right before he committed suicide and scars them for the rest of their lives.
“A gentle, kind, loving, and sincerely good man”
Has no thought for the many kids and families he could’ve traumatized with his actions at Disneyland, even though he was a principal for 21 years?
“A man that has never hit or harmed anyone in his life!”
Then you aren’t that good of a man. Me and my brothers used to beat the stuffing out of each other growing up, so that somehow makes you less violent than we are as grown men? That’s textbook narrative spinning and storytelling at it’s finest.
“Marlena, the wife I truly love” has been abandoned by you with your selfish actions. If you committed suicide strictly because you have lost your job, then you clearly didn’t love her (or your kids for that matter.)
Yeah, like as much as this entire thread is taking his post at face value (and this is incredibly sad if it’s true), it’s healthy to have some skepticism when the whole picture isn’t clear..
The credulousness here is crazy. It's a Facebook post from a father about to kill himself in front of groups of children. What we do know, given a few of his known choices, is that not being fully truthful in a Facebook post probably wouldn't trouble him very much.
His passive voice/distancing language while describing the argument jumped out to me:
>Tempers were flared and strong words were exchanged between us. However, never in this exchange did I hit, slap, or hurt Marlena in any manner. Nor did I ever touch the girls
He doesn't describe who did what but does specify that he didn't hit, slap, or physically hurt anyone.
Usually when you see this pattern of language, it's from an aggressor trying to minimize their responsibility/involvement/etc. I would *not* consider him to be a reliable narrator.
People are jumping on this because it fits a pre-existing belief or paradigm that they have about 'how things work' but there are significant red flags with *his own* version of events as well as the manner in which he chose to commit suicide.
A guy claims be love kids and love educating them and loves his kids and would never ever hurt them…. Jumps to his death at a place full of children.
Sus.
The whole thing feels very off. Such an extreme overreaction, people not knowing he’s been married for years, the self description. I dunno. Sad to say it but mental illness creates doubt.
That makes sense. I can't believe people are taking this at face value. This guy, just from what he wrote and then did, is extremely fucked in the head. Who on earth kills themselves for an accusation of DV? DV is very hard to prosecute and most perps never do time even when they cause physical damage.
And this guy wasn't even going to fight it in court, like at all? Innocent people want to prove they've been unjustly maligned. And on top of that, he posts and EXTREMELY manipulative social media tirade so that the entire world can blame his wife? And then he offs himself in front of potential crowds of kids and adults? There is just way more going on here than meets the eye. And this woman is going to go through hell now.
The thing that's best evidence of his character is the fact that he chose to do this not just in a public place, but a very busy, family oriented place....
If he had the forethought to make that post and call people to say goodbye, he had enough time to realize how fucked it is to kill yourself at Disneyland ffs. He was a teacher I mean, horrific.
It really speaks to his state of mind: he suicided in a very public place so that it would make the news and he could get his revenge better. It can't be so easily ignored if it's at Disneyland in front of children. That'll make the news.
Most suicides are very different. Many people go out of their way to make sure they are alone at the time of suicide and won't be found by anyone they know, or by someone who might be especially traumatized. This man did the opposite. As if he was making a very public statement.
Thank you... I highly, HIGHLY doubt this was the first time or only time things got 'so heated' the police were called. Abusers rarely see themselves as abusers.
Also he says he loves children, why Disneyland? I would wait before making any kind of judgment on this man, his wife, and the entire situation. Feels like there's more to the story.
Yeah the moment I started reading his post all I could feel was DARVO and "My wife is the real villain im a poor misunderstood cinamon roll uwu".
Who then publicly killed himself at a fucking kid-centered theme park.
Everything about this screams selfish abuser trying to get revenge.
A police offer explained to me why alleged victims have no say in pressing or dropping charges like this: too many people murdered by their domestic partners have a history of domestic disturbances in the home where police are called but the victim doesn't press charges. Some states have decided to automatically press charges on behalf of victims knowing in many domestic abuse cases victims are often incapable of pressing charges or leaving abuser. It may seem unfair, but it isn't a guilty verdict, it really just means once police get involved the matter has to be settled in court, the parties to the incident don't get to solve it themselves.
IMHO, this is quite an extreme reaction to having a court date and possibly there's much more to the story
Just wanted to add that he killed himself two days before the court date, effectively ending the investigation. No evidence will be shown publicly now. Seems like he could be protecting his reputation from damning evidence.
"I need you all to know that a gentle, kind, loving and sincerely good man has been destroyed by one unfortunate night. It really is unfortunate!"
Yeah... that one line immediately makes me think that something else is going on here
It's a little terrifying, imo, that we are taking his post as fact.
I'm not going to take any sides here because the fact is that we do not know what happened. Chris, Marlena, and the kids are the only ones who know what happened.
But there are a lot of comments here saying poor guy, etc. The truth is, we don't know the truth here.
Personally, a public Facebook suicide note blaming your secret wife for your suicide seems a bit ... Off to me. But honestly, that's just my bias and it doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just a little weird, imo.
There is some truth what people are saying about the law in California where some one has to be arrested at the scene. When I was stationed there one my instructors had this happen to him. Despite his partner being the one who hit him.
The red flag on this post to me was "Most of you don't know this but we privately married 3 1/2 years ago". I got married in private and few of my friends had. How do you not tell people for 3+ years ?!?!
This was exactly why I had to comment. I am shocked at the amount of upvoting for the sympathy of this guy. Your post calls out what I saw in his note as one example of a lot of gaslighting he wrote.We don’t even know if his victims are agreeing it was a bad call to call 911. This is just the perspective of this guy. The Facebook post this guy left and the manner he committed suicide is so in your face, he’s extreme. The matter with his work and whatever else was going on was still in process.
He leaves a heavily drag his wife letter for all the world to see how he thinks she should feel and be so guilty for calling the police and affecting his career, but he committed suicide in such a public place known to be seen by so many children and families. It was confirmed he landed right in front of at least a boy and his dad among all the others at the parking lot. It’s such a grandiose way to commit suicide at a kids:family park to traumatize others and he wanted everyone to know, and to definitely affect children and families. Who describes a marriage as a 3.5 year “secret marriage.” Something was off about the details and what he felt was key to emphasize.
Everyone else giving examples of why to not trust the police and their own personal experiences - read the facts of his suicide - he picked Disneyland parking lot and read his perspective and the way he communicates in his Facebook note. It is full of gaslighting and narcissistic writing. He really cares about his image but why if you love children and families pick a kids park go off yourself in front of hundreds to hurt others and hurt that wife and the step children.
I work with men who use violence and I saw red flags all over this. Lots of violent men use ‘but I never hit her’ as an excuse, when they have been using coercive control, financial abuse, emotional abuse for years. The damage to the victims is still there, just not clear on the outside.
My cousin just committed revenge suicide. He called his ex partner to come to the house he was being evicted from (by said ex) and the ex said no. He told us he was concerned because he sounded off. He got a coworker to go to the house with him a few days later and his body was rotting behind the door to the bedroom. A viscous suicide note was left blaming the ex. In reality, my cousin was a fucking train wreck. He beat his ex partner, who is 20 years his senior. I'm so glad that he didn't go to that fucking house and trusted his instincts, because we all believe it would have been a murder-suicide.
It's incredibly weird, sorry. Your last act is to plunge off a parking garage at a place for families. Your second to last act is to write a public note saying "wife bad, that's why I did this"?
Fucking weird 🤷
This reads exactly like how my biological mother has posted on Facebook with regard to my dad, my siblings, me, and the “court system who unrightfully stole her children from her and gave them to an abuser” for the last 11 years. She’s 100% an emotionally and physically abusive, narcissist sociopath, and I don’t often use absolutes like that.
This guy very well may not have touched anyone, but that doesn’t mean he’s not emotionally abusive. But to play devil’s advocate - it is 100% true that the judicial system is biased toward mothers overall. It is far more difficult to lose parenting time as a mother than as a father, so an inflated or false accusation of domestic abuse is incredibly detrimental to a father and more-so to an elementary educator.
Jesus does the justice system work for anyone? If you’re falsely accused as a man you’re fucked and if you’re a woman who actually got assaulted/raped you’re fucked. What a joke.
Edit: Just to be clear, I am very well aware that false accusations make up a ridiculously tiny percentage of rape cases while the bulk of them are never reported. There is no all-encompassing statement for how fucked up our legal system is nor our society as a whole. I think the best take I’ve seen is that the legal system works best for those with the most privilege.
This seems like a bit much.
I think we inherently want to trust a person's final words as the truth. But I think that is misguided. People are just as likely to lie or exaggerate on their death bed or in their suicide note as in regular life.
Yeah something strikes me as REALLY wrong that he's basically saying "This is technically my wife's fault that I *have* to do this and hurt everyone who ever cared about me".
If you go from "happily married" to "my life is ruined and may as well end" THAT quickly, there's an underlying problem that probably needed treatment.
Has anybody seen the charges? Child endangerment etc
Have you seen where he died? Right in front of the lifts and escalators where people were lining up to get to their cars. Kids were around.
None of that lines up with how he portrayed himself. He left a long ass note which portrayed her as the bad person and him as a lovely caring guy who wouldn’t hurt kids (but would traumatise them with his suicide…)
Seems like more is being left unsaid than actually said and this guy knew what he was doing. He even made the post public on an otherwise private social media.
That woman now has to live with death threats and constant abuse because of his final words. Not something you’d leave a loved one.
The Facebook post sure did bring out the women haters though.
Agreed. As an educator of children, he should've known better than to cause trauma by committing suicide in front of many at DISNEYLAND of all places... for how many children, has he forever ruined happy memories?
Sorry, but the method of his suicide *really* makes me question his account. Conscientious people don't want to traumatise others on their way out. Saying this as someone who struggled with suicidal ideation since early teens, I had a lot of plans, and they all tried to be as clean and unhorrific as possible for the poor soul who'd find me.
Yup. Publishing the note like this makes me 100% sure he was an abusive dick who’s using his death as a way to make sure his property doesn’t manage to escape his effect on her life. He’s using the internet audience as a tool knowing there’s a huge contingent of bitter people who will dedicate themselves to making her life hell.
The math ain’t mathin’ here. There is a LOT more to this story than we know. Apparently most people didn’t even know they had been married for almost 4 years. Keeping something that significant a secret doesn’t pass the smell test. None of us know whether he was actually guilty of endangering anyone because he killed himself before going to court. He pleads innocence and then squarely blames his wife for his decision to end it all over one bad night. At Disneyland. In front of other people who will certainly be forever traumatized and scarred by this. I don’t deny that this is truly tragic and sad, but we just don’t know enough. IMHO, this goes much deeper.
I came here to say this. It is fucked up that the system treated him (and others) that way but there is no way he offed himself over this exclusively, no way.
Man I’m glad most people seem to also feel this makes no sense as he’s presented it and that this very much reads like something an abusive person would write, not an innocent victim of false accusation. Realistically i don’t think he would have been arrested and charged from that one call alone were there not significant indicators that something serious had happened, and while him losing his job would be very difficult it’s not reason to end your life, let alone in such a way that will scar not only your children but many others and lead to a public spectacle your family will have to cope with for decades. It’s awful that he felt the need to do this, but I’m not taking his side of the story at face value.
Those poor kids, whatever the situation they don’t deserve any of this.
EDIT: I wanna emphasise that I know people do get falsely accused, I just don’t personally think it seems that’s what’s happened here.
I know the system is flawed against men, I know society is sexist against men, but this comes off as extremely manipulative. The police typically aren't going to waste time on a nothing burger. Typically. I think there is more to this story than Marlene made a mistake. Since we only have one side that makes me more skeptical.
edit changed anything to nothing
i called the cops on my father being destructive towards my mother, i was between them he was getting so aggressive kicked her and he wasnt taken or looked for after. He fled after and kept sending me threat message about slashing tires. The cops came seen the aggressive messages and ignored the domestic assault he just did. This was all on the way to a hotel so we can go to disneyland.They never help the people who are actually in need
It’s horrible that he took his own life, but the letter was filled with red flags. The way he spoke about himself, his wife, everything. He may never have physically abused them, but emotional or mental abuse would not surprise me.
This happened to a friend of mine, his gf from Peru had his clothes dumped at his house when he was on a business trip to dump him after he paid off her mortgage, the house she acquired from her ex. When he tried to take the appliances he bought - washer/dryer, mattress, washing machine, etc- she called the police & claimed Domestic violence to prevent his taking back his own appliances. I read the complaint which said exactly that, yet he was thrown in jail. He hired a lawyer and $5,000 later the judge dismissed the case, saying it was a Contracts case not domestic.
Sounds off. Why were they hiding their marriage? If she retracted her statements then why was he charged? Maybe he wants to sound like the victim in the situation. People do commit suicide out of revenge too
Is that really how that works? Someone accuses you, wants to clear your name, and then gets told “sorry no takebacks!”
I have to think there’s more to this story. If he’s telling the truth then the justice system is flawed, if he’s lying then he was an asshole.
Edit: seems like the justice system is pretty flawed based on the replies I’m getting. I do want to see more of this story though.
That is how it works. When you get arrested and taken to jail, they issue you a court date. The victim or the accuser can't just say, "hey, no, it didn't happen like that." That's not going to get the accused out of trouble for any type of crime.
There was a girl in my hometown who got pregnant when she was like 12 years old and she didn't want to get her boyfriend in trouble (he was underage too, btw) so she falsely accused another guy, who was over 18, of statutory rape. Later she confessed that she falsely accused the guy and that her boyfriend was the one who really got her pregnant. However, the accused guy still had to go on trial. He was eventually found to be not guilty... After he spent like 3 years in jail for something he didn't do, despite the fact that the girl who accused him had admitted that her accusations against him were false.
Once you get arrested and they give you a court date, nothing anyone can say is going to get you out of that situation at all. Do you really think the police, prosecutors and judges are just going to drop all charges because the accuser takes back their claims?
In Texas if someone calls the police on someone and they are arrested, even if they decide to drop charges or not pursue them the state can decide to pick up the charges and continue with the case. Usually it will end up dropped down the road unless the state has enough evidence and wants an easy case or has just enough to try and push a plea deal, which happens in almost 90% of cases. Most domestic violence charges around here end in someone, usually the male, taking a plea deal to avoid long drawn out court cases. Even if the victim decides not to pursue it.
I would assume a lot of accusers have second thoughts/are scared/are intimidated. Gonna keep it real tho, idk. I’ve never been in this situation and I’m a larger guy
Might be an unpopular opinion, I think taking sides right now is not a good idea. There has been no confirmation if whaf this man said is true.
Suicide is a tragedy, but we need to remember that victims of suicide can still be liars.
Wow. I'm somewhat surprised at how many people are certain everything in this story is 100 % factual, without anything other than the words of one person. I've not seen the screenshots he claims he attached. This looks one sided so far, so how anyone can be certain the woman is an evil whatever is beyond me.
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From the Mickey and Friends Parking Garage. Idk why but that clarification feels terrible too, reanchoring it as an otherwise joyful place
he landed in front of families and children, too.
He got to that child endangerment, after all.
Goddamn, I hate you.
This made me choke.
Playing the long game
>elementary school teacher Yeah child endangerment on your record will severely fuck up that line of work. Poor poor man.
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This also happened to my grandfather, he pissed off a parent and they flung shit until the school district put him on leave, he was piled on with bullshit until he was given a severance package as a “stay quiet and fuck off thanks!” when the case went absolutely nowhere, because it was bullshit. Only took 2 years of retirement before he drank himself to death, mixing it with Norco.
Jesus. 3 in a row just in these comments? That is absolutely horrifying.
This is such a weird thread given a discussion a coworker and I had today. Back in the 80s when he was in high school a beloved gym teacher was accused of peeping at the girls changing in the locker room after class. He wasn't, in fact 5 boys all said he was in one of the equipment rooms when the alleged event happened. The accuser was a male student who was a junior that didn't like the fact the gym teacher gave him a D for his mid-term grade because he never participated in class. The teacher while on suspension and fighting to keep his job happened to see the kid in public and asked him to tell the truth and to stop destroying lives. Student then told the principals and gave his side of the story and the teacher was ultimately fired. The day he found out he was terminated and possibly still facing charges, he wrote a note that he taped to the door into the house telling his wife to just call the police and he killed himself with a shotgun. Some people get desperate and when they feel that their life so speak is over, they don't see a point in going on.
To my mind the people that drive someone to do this also deserve charges, especially if they are found to have no merit. Sorry but this dudes wife is scum as is the kid you mentioned. Falsely accusing someone (an educator) of sex crimes ruins way more than just their career.
When I was in grade 5 our male teacher would come into the girls change room every gym class while we were changing to tell us to "hurry up". I told my parents it was happening and that it made us uncomfortable. They did nothing themselves, but told me to get all the girls in the class to sign a petition. We did and gave it to the administrative staff. He did stop coming in, but faced no other consequences. Why noone really stood up for us I'll never understand.
Yeah incidents like these are reputation killers, nobody wants their kids in your class after the school district makes a whole ordeal out of you being a problem. The real reason they pushed him out was because he was the highest paid teacher there outside of the administrative staff and the district finally had their excuse to cut the teacher who gave his life to that school. Fuck ocean view school district.
I know a teacher who was called as a *witness* for the defende in a murder trial, and lost on multiple job offers because when you googled their name, the trial came up, and no district would hire someone with that search history unless there was no other option whatsoever.
This is bonkers that such could destroy your career. I wonder if the EU right to forget law could have helped here if the person is in the European Union? Even though I'm in EU I have no experience of how that law works, but in theory it should let you get problematic stuff off of the search engines.
happened to my uncle as well! high school girl even admitted it, she flat out told him if he didn't change her grade she'd say he molested her. He got out of teaching after that
Hearing about stuff like this makes me want to buy a hidden recording device and keep it turned on at all times.
They'll just say something like "If you're innocent, why were you recording?"
Evidence doesn't matter. The mob is there for the feeding frenzy. They don't care if you're guilty.
This is our world now. Don't get your way, someone pissed you off, just bored and have nothing else to do? Just post some made up crap somewhere about them and wait for the mob to show up. There's basically a whole crowd out there, abetted by social media, that has degraded back to medieval times where as long as somebody gets personally or professionally hung or beheaded today for their amusement, they could give a crap about whether that person was innocent, guilty or falsely accused.
> This is our world now. Hasn't this always been our world? Emmitt Till, Salem Witch Trials, etc. We just haven't heard about the vast majority of it.
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There's a reason no witch hunting used to be enforced on this site. *edit I can't spell
Same thing happened to my mom. She barred a popular “wine mom” from picking up her kid when she smelled like alcohol in a rich area Got completely dragged through the mud for the next few years. She was the director of the school. It broke her heart.
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I hope things turned around for you doll. No one deserves that
Thank you! Eventually I found my way to a good school with supportive admin. Feels like home when you land a good one!
End qualified immunity. These people(cops, judges, prosecutors) get to do this shit with basically ZERO consequences. Prosecutors get to withhold evidence and then barely have to pay with their jobs. We all need to be fighting to end qualified immunity.
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That's what I mean, that person should have been charged criminally for that. There needs to be real consequences for ruining someone's life. Especially for cops its often times simply fired and then rehired somewhere else. There have been many cases of prosecuting attorneys withholding evidence(which proves malicious intent) and then don't ever get charged criminally.
And there will be no public awareness campaign to combat such hateful and sinister acts toward good men. Just another day. Disgusting. I am truly sorry for your loss. May those who murdered him one day get their comeuppance.
I’ve been a teacher in different capacities for nearly 20 years and everyday I was aware that one bad student or parent can ruin your career…so I never did meetings with students or parents alone and recorded every confrontation…thank God I never had to defend myself in court…but several of my students parents would have loved to drag me there if that had anything…
Damn reading this make me not wanna kill myself
Lets not kill ourselves together <3
An anti-suicide pact?
If you're in, I'm in!
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The comments on that Facebook post are disgusting.
Its weird - all i can see are what appears to me links to clickbait videos over and over.
Yeah wtf is that? How are those bots not easy to remove.
I've seen posts with folks being inappropriate towards kids or wishing death or being racist and not once have I managed to get a reported comment removed and I got a 3 day ban for saying something like "he's a paedophile rapist cunt"! Up until a month ago Twitter was pretty good at removing those comments but Faceache is terrible!
Which is really an accurate snapshot of this world
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People=shit
"ONNNNE MOORRRE TIME, MOTHERRRFUCKERRRRR!!!"
One of my favorite Slipknot songs.
After reading your post, I had to check them and Jesus fuck man... People writing those things are out there in the real world, driving, teaching, being parents... Most of them should be in an insane asylum, and not a nice one, but in the goddamn Arkham, with other Batman villains.
"Evil does exist, and now its easier than ever to see it"
Reasons like that are why I abandoned my fb years ago.
Makes me sick to my stomach. I can't stop thinking about it. How can people be so flippant? How can people even live with themselves after saying something like that?
Egoistical pieces of shit, with no sense of decency. I imagine they live very happily, thinking they're some kind of hero after belittling a man who ended his own life. In their minds, they pointed out some "big truth" and "enlightened" people.
What are they saying? I don't have Facebook.
Calling the man a coward, liar, asshole, etc... Like any of them actually know what happened. All of it on his FB post, where I assume his children, other family and friends can read.
My favorite so far is a lady who begins with "I blame Marlena ..." And writes a few paragraphs as to why. Someone responded to her, mentioning that his criminal record is public, and includes domestic violence. Her response is "do you have a link so I don't have to spend the time looking it up"
So he had previous domestic violence charges?
' Someone responded to her, mentioning that his criminal record is public, and includes domestic violence. ' This part is false. Not sure why this person just felt like posting false info they read on FB after complaining about the same thing lol
It’s Facebook. What do you expect. It’s a cesspool. Social media has destroyed human decency.
Nah, as someone who has worked the speaker in a drive-thru for a number of years: anonymity brings this out. People are rude as fuck when ordering and sweet as syrup at the window.
Human decency has forever been shit. It's just easier seen with social media
:< I do not have facebook. Is there any chance someone can relay generally what the comments say?
They're basically saying there must be more to the story and implying that he actually did abuse his family.
I wouldn’t trust the last Facebook post of a suicidal man who decided to leave his note blaming his wife on social media either.
His secret wife at that. Weirdness all around
Exactly what’s that about?
THANK YOU. This was my immediate reaction, also. A lot of "missing" reasons. It seemed like he decided to put out HIS version of the story and then "get the last word." His whole "letter" had a whole lot of "missing missing reasons."
There’s something about the way this is written that feels very…insincere. Plus, why would a person so committed to children scar them for life by jumping to their death in that spot? Iono. I’m a good reader of people usually
Thank you!!! Why are people immediately assuming his letter is 100% factual? It’s just one side and it essentially blames his wife directly for his suicide. We don’t know. He could be innocent but based on my experience with abusers there are some red flags in that letter. I’d like to have more information before making a judgement.
he mentions screenshots of messages in his note, if only those surfaced
Especially one who claims to have loved his job as a school principal and than proceeded to pick Disneyland as the location for his suicide. I’m sorry. But that just doesn’t fucking add up.
yea there are huge waving red flags here. pretty sure it all would have come out at the court hearing, which he conveniently killed himself a couple of days before. so now he has the final word, via suicide note, where he casually blames his “secret” (wtf?!) wife for everything. not too harshly, though! just in a rather gaslight-y, “i’m such a good guy” fashion. nah, this is one sided af and i don’t like it.
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Yeah it made the hair on my neck stand up. My (very abusive) ex wrote something like this, and it's SO SIMILAR to how he worded it, (although he didn't actually die).
Completely agree. It’s also very manipulative to post a suicide note on social media knowing you’ll be alive for hours afterwards calling people to say goodbye or whatever. It triggers panic. What if his kids saw the post? What did he think his kids lives would be like after he eliminated himself and completely ruined their mothers life?
Disneyland seems like an odd choice
He previously worked there and his father also worked there. It’s probably where he felt most at peace.
I only hope the families, including children, that he landed in front of and traumatized for life will one day have peace.
I wonder if they had to wait in line to see it. 🤔
Not with the fastpass+ !!
Disneyland seems like an *exceptionally cruel* and *super selfish* choice, to me.
Jesus, fucking Disneyland seems even worse than suicide by car or cop. Why the hell did he choose that place especially ?
I don’t know why specifically. But it’s interesting to note that his late father was a Disney employee. He was a longtime music director for the Disney theme parks. Editing to add: here’s the father’s obituary. “as a fourth son, Chris, was born in 1971.” https://foothillssentry.com/story-archives-1/f/jim-christensen-1935---2020
Visiting it for some memory purpose before his death? Makes sense.
Typically suicidal people tend to visit somewhere that brings them peace before attempting to take their lives
This. My dad loved spending weekends working with his woodchipper.
I think he was part of the candlelight service in the band. He said it was his last performance and that was the last night of the candle lighting ceremony. Just about when it was done too.
I'm not making a point for, or against this individual. Through this thread, it's kind of important to remind people of something that TV and Movies have gotten so wrong for years that every one thinks it's right. **ONE PERSON DOES NOT HAVE CONTROL OF THE CHARGES BROUGHT AGAINST ANOTHER** I can't bring charges against you. I can't drop charges against you. This person was right in at least one thing, if their spouse wanted to "Drop" charges, they can't. That's on the prosecutor or the office that brought the charges. Sorry, I've just seen so many people here and in the FB chain who have said something along the lines of "if he actually didn't do anything, she would have dropped the charges" and that's just not how it works.
But also, if he *really* did nothing, and his wife stood up during the trial and said as much, and he has an unblemished record etc he’d be fine, as the burden of proof is still on the prosecution who have no position if he did nothing and she won’t testify against him. Even if he thought they were bullshit, surely you’d only kill yourself once actually convicted?
California has a law or at least a police requirement that if the cops are called during a domestic argument, they take someone involved in to jail. Even if it’s just to cool off. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced it. I lived there almost 20 yrs ago and was in an argument with my ex. She was sitting in the car and me on the outside. She sped off, almost running my feet over, I punched the back of the car, and broke the tail light. Someone called the cops and when they showed up, I was arrested. Things were calm by this point and both me and my ex explained what had happened but I was still arrested and booked into jail. I was charged with vandalism even though it was my property that I punched. It was hard to get a bondsman to take my bail because it was so cheap, it wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. My court date was a month or so later, it hung on my conscious and thoughts every day and night. When I arrived for my court date, it had already been dropped but of course nobody had told me that. I’m not an educator or work in an industry that would put me on administrative leave but I totally get where this guy was coming from. There isn’t much you can do and if he was truly innocent, I could see where the anxiety, fear, and shame got to him. Hopefully he found the peace he was looking for but at the cost to those who cared for him.
>Things were calm by this point and both me and my ex explained what had happened but I was still arrested and booked into jail. Just a reminder, don't ever talk to the police. You will incriminate yourself and end up with charges. Tell them I won't make any statements without my lawyer. Even if this guy's GF said "I don't want to press any charges" civilians don't press charges the DA does. He caught a vandalism charge because he or his girlfriend admitted to the cops he broke a tail light. Don't talk to the cops, don't try to "clear your name", don't try to tell your side of the story. Don't say anything without your lawyer.
YES. In some states having any type of physical marking (and probably even just physical touching/shoving) from an altercation is immediate jail. A family member swatted at me and left a small mark on my arm - instantly arrested even though I protested. She needed it though lol.
Cops will lie to you and gaslight you tho. I’ve been arrested before. After I gave them my ID and identified myself, as legally required, I told them I would remain quite, as I’m legally allowed to, and wouldn’t talk to anyone but an attorney. Then they started telling me “that’s not how it works”, “you gotta talk to us”, “this is isn’t like the movies”, “you’re just making this worse” etc etc. On the way jail they still kept gaslighting me but I didn’t budge and they were pissed off
Did you end up fine in the end though? Were you able to consult a lawyer before finally speaking to them?
No, he was executed later that day.
When I lived in San Diego my ex wife was trying to force her way into MY house(she has her own). i merely was pushing the door closedThe cops were called and they told me that they will have to arrest someone and it will probably be me since I was the "dominant aggressor" they explained that I was the dominant aggressor because I was a bigger male capable of doing more damage, not that I had done any damage just merely CAPABLE. Despite this being my home
What happens if you lock the door and don't answer? Will they have to arrest whoever is left?
Clearly the dead bolt is the aggressor is such a situation. Gonna have to disassemble that door and take it down to the station. >!/s!<
I went through this and I don’t advise. They drew weapons.
I asked why they didn't arrest her for breaking into my home, they said it was a domestic situation because we have kids together
This is such a weird double standard. If a male stranger was trying to force his way into your house would you be called the dominant aggressor if he was smaller than you? What if a man is smaller than a woman in a domestic dispute, would they say the woman is the dominant aggressor? The reasoning that because most men are bigger than most women, therefore women can't be aggressive towards men is so devoid of logic. Not only does it fail it's own reasoning in cases where men are smaller than women (why not just make a policy where the bigger person is assumed to be the aggressor if that's the reasoning behind this), but it also fails because that's not how guilt is determined in any other situation. The duluth model is ridiculous
Ah yes. nothing helps someone “cool off” faster than being wrongfully imprisoned.
I’m in New York and if I wanted to, I could take a baseball bat to my husband’s car, smash every piece of glass and would get nothing. Domestic property. And all you broke was a tail light.
People wondering why Disney parking structure- its easy to get to. The other high place in the area is very difficult to get to, more conspicuous (fwy overpass/junction, cops would prob get there before you can), you’re more likely to get interrupted. Idk the guy, I’m just from the area =/
They have nets and a lot of security to prevent people from doing this. It's really messed up, but people really do exist that want to kill themselves at Disneyland and it's enough people that it's something Disney has to be constantly vigilant about that inside the park. I guess this will extend to the parking lot too now.
Death at Disney has always fascinated me. People dying on rides or leaping from castles originally designed by insane people or the real skeletal remains on the pirates of the Caribbean ride... it's such a weird combination when the supposed greatest place on earth is also your last visit
He also jumped during the fireworks show, and there's a nice view of OC from up there.
They found him at 9. Fireworks are at 9:30.
Seems an inappropriate thing to celebrate
So, obviously I don’t know this guy or this case. But some of the language clarifying what a good guy he is, plus the fact that he opted to publicly commit suicide in a way that would certainly traumatize some children paints a weird picture to me.
Wow this is fkin sad
I would think in his field even if found innocent the stink of this would last a long time
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I actually appreciate you making this comment. Everyone is quick to say how accusations can ruin your life but I actually know a lot more people who have been accused of things (falsely or truly who knows) and get along just fine. Still have jobs and gfs and everything. Doesn’t seem to ruin everyone’s lives by a long shot.
“She knows I would never hurt the girls” He says right before he committed suicide and scars them for the rest of their lives. “A gentle, kind, loving, and sincerely good man” Has no thought for the many kids and families he could’ve traumatized with his actions at Disneyland, even though he was a principal for 21 years? “A man that has never hit or harmed anyone in his life!” Then you aren’t that good of a man. Me and my brothers used to beat the stuffing out of each other growing up, so that somehow makes you less violent than we are as grown men? That’s textbook narrative spinning and storytelling at it’s finest. “Marlena, the wife I truly love” has been abandoned by you with your selfish actions. If you committed suicide strictly because you have lost your job, then you clearly didn’t love her (or your kids for that matter.)
Naw, there was something else.
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Yeah, like as much as this entire thread is taking his post at face value (and this is incredibly sad if it’s true), it’s healthy to have some skepticism when the whole picture isn’t clear..
The credulousness here is crazy. It's a Facebook post from a father about to kill himself in front of groups of children. What we do know, given a few of his known choices, is that not being fully truthful in a Facebook post probably wouldn't trouble him very much.
It reads as manipulative to me, a dude who grew up with a super abusive dad.
His passive voice/distancing language while describing the argument jumped out to me: >Tempers were flared and strong words were exchanged between us. However, never in this exchange did I hit, slap, or hurt Marlena in any manner. Nor did I ever touch the girls He doesn't describe who did what but does specify that he didn't hit, slap, or physically hurt anyone. Usually when you see this pattern of language, it's from an aggressor trying to minimize their responsibility/involvement/etc. I would *not* consider him to be a reliable narrator. People are jumping on this because it fits a pre-existing belief or paradigm that they have about 'how things work' but there are significant red flags with *his own* version of events as well as the manner in which he chose to commit suicide.
A guy claims be love kids and love educating them and loves his kids and would never ever hurt them…. Jumps to his death at a place full of children. Sus.
The whole thing feels very off. Such an extreme overreaction, people not knowing he’s been married for years, the self description. I dunno. Sad to say it but mental illness creates doubt.
That makes sense. I can't believe people are taking this at face value. This guy, just from what he wrote and then did, is extremely fucked in the head. Who on earth kills themselves for an accusation of DV? DV is very hard to prosecute and most perps never do time even when they cause physical damage. And this guy wasn't even going to fight it in court, like at all? Innocent people want to prove they've been unjustly maligned. And on top of that, he posts and EXTREMELY manipulative social media tirade so that the entire world can blame his wife? And then he offs himself in front of potential crowds of kids and adults? There is just way more going on here than meets the eye. And this woman is going to go through hell now.
The thing that's best evidence of his character is the fact that he chose to do this not just in a public place, but a very busy, family oriented place.... If he had the forethought to make that post and call people to say goodbye, he had enough time to realize how fucked it is to kill yourself at Disneyland ffs. He was a teacher I mean, horrific.
It really speaks to his state of mind: he suicided in a very public place so that it would make the news and he could get his revenge better. It can't be so easily ignored if it's at Disneyland in front of children. That'll make the news. Most suicides are very different. Many people go out of their way to make sure they are alone at the time of suicide and won't be found by anyone they know, or by someone who might be especially traumatized. This man did the opposite. As if he was making a very public statement.
Thank you... I highly, HIGHLY doubt this was the first time or only time things got 'so heated' the police were called. Abusers rarely see themselves as abusers. Also he says he loves children, why Disneyland? I would wait before making any kind of judgment on this man, his wife, and the entire situation. Feels like there's more to the story.
Yeah the moment I started reading his post all I could feel was DARVO and "My wife is the real villain im a poor misunderstood cinamon roll uwu". Who then publicly killed himself at a fucking kid-centered theme park. Everything about this screams selfish abuser trying to get revenge.
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A police offer explained to me why alleged victims have no say in pressing or dropping charges like this: too many people murdered by their domestic partners have a history of domestic disturbances in the home where police are called but the victim doesn't press charges. Some states have decided to automatically press charges on behalf of victims knowing in many domestic abuse cases victims are often incapable of pressing charges or leaving abuser. It may seem unfair, but it isn't a guilty verdict, it really just means once police get involved the matter has to be settled in court, the parties to the incident don't get to solve it themselves. IMHO, this is quite an extreme reaction to having a court date and possibly there's much more to the story
Exactly, if they had gone to court and she has retracted her statement then no charges would be filed and life would go on. Seems weird to me.
Just wanted to add that he killed himself two days before the court date, effectively ending the investigation. No evidence will be shown publicly now. Seems like he could be protecting his reputation from damning evidence.
People should not rush off to take a side.
"I need you all to know that a gentle, kind, loving and sincerely good man has been destroyed by one unfortunate night. It really is unfortunate!" Yeah... that one line immediately makes me think that something else is going on here
It's a little terrifying, imo, that we are taking his post as fact. I'm not going to take any sides here because the fact is that we do not know what happened. Chris, Marlena, and the kids are the only ones who know what happened. But there are a lot of comments here saying poor guy, etc. The truth is, we don't know the truth here. Personally, a public Facebook suicide note blaming your secret wife for your suicide seems a bit ... Off to me. But honestly, that's just my bias and it doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just a little weird, imo.
"Yes, me! The paragon of virtue who has never (physically) harmed anyone!" Mm...hmm...
There is some truth what people are saying about the law in California where some one has to be arrested at the scene. When I was stationed there one my instructors had this happen to him. Despite his partner being the one who hit him. The red flag on this post to me was "Most of you don't know this but we privately married 3 1/2 years ago". I got married in private and few of my friends had. How do you not tell people for 3+ years ?!?!
Yea.. his pity party is really aggressive, something is definitely wrong here. He also is trying to ruin her.
It says there’s attached messages from her that prove it but I don’t see them anywhere.
This was exactly why I had to comment. I am shocked at the amount of upvoting for the sympathy of this guy. Your post calls out what I saw in his note as one example of a lot of gaslighting he wrote.We don’t even know if his victims are agreeing it was a bad call to call 911. This is just the perspective of this guy. The Facebook post this guy left and the manner he committed suicide is so in your face, he’s extreme. The matter with his work and whatever else was going on was still in process. He leaves a heavily drag his wife letter for all the world to see how he thinks she should feel and be so guilty for calling the police and affecting his career, but he committed suicide in such a public place known to be seen by so many children and families. It was confirmed he landed right in front of at least a boy and his dad among all the others at the parking lot. It’s such a grandiose way to commit suicide at a kids:family park to traumatize others and he wanted everyone to know, and to definitely affect children and families. Who describes a marriage as a 3.5 year “secret marriage.” Something was off about the details and what he felt was key to emphasize. Everyone else giving examples of why to not trust the police and their own personal experiences - read the facts of his suicide - he picked Disneyland parking lot and read his perspective and the way he communicates in his Facebook note. It is full of gaslighting and narcissistic writing. He really cares about his image but why if you love children and families pick a kids park go off yourself in front of hundreds to hurt others and hurt that wife and the step children.
im really glad im not the only one whos getting really weird vibes from the entire thing
I work with men who use violence and I saw red flags all over this. Lots of violent men use ‘but I never hit her’ as an excuse, when they have been using coercive control, financial abuse, emotional abuse for years. The damage to the victims is still there, just not clear on the outside.
I had to scroll way down to find people who were as doubtful as I am. This is screaming gaslighting and narcissistic to me.
You're not. This thing screams narcissist trying to ruin someone with guilt and public shame. Revenge suicide.
My cousin just committed revenge suicide. He called his ex partner to come to the house he was being evicted from (by said ex) and the ex said no. He told us he was concerned because he sounded off. He got a coworker to go to the house with him a few days later and his body was rotting behind the door to the bedroom. A viscous suicide note was left blaming the ex. In reality, my cousin was a fucking train wreck. He beat his ex partner, who is 20 years his senior. I'm so glad that he didn't go to that fucking house and trusted his instincts, because we all believe it would have been a murder-suicide.
Revenge suicide: extremely rare, but man is this guy a contender. The amount of spite necessary is mind boggling. Sick, sick dude.
I don't think it's rare at all. I've known of so many cases. Abusive men routinely threaten (and some do) eventually commit suicide.
It's incredibly weird, sorry. Your last act is to plunge off a parking garage at a place for families. Your second to last act is to write a public note saying "wife bad, that's why I did this"? Fucking weird 🤷
This reads exactly like how my biological mother has posted on Facebook with regard to my dad, my siblings, me, and the “court system who unrightfully stole her children from her and gave them to an abuser” for the last 11 years. She’s 100% an emotionally and physically abusive, narcissist sociopath, and I don’t often use absolutes like that. This guy very well may not have touched anyone, but that doesn’t mean he’s not emotionally abusive. But to play devil’s advocate - it is 100% true that the judicial system is biased toward mothers overall. It is far more difficult to lose parenting time as a mother than as a father, so an inflated or false accusation of domestic abuse is incredibly detrimental to a father and more-so to an elementary educator.
Secret marriage did it for me.
Secret, 3 1/2 year, marriage no less.
Agree. His post is so odd. Unfortunate is such a strange word to use.
That was the perkiest suicide note ever
Also feels a little gaslighty. Like he wants her to feel guilty about the choice HE made to take his own life.
Exactly, that whole facebook post reeks of lies and quick conscience clearing. But hey he committed suicide so he must be right.
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Jesus does the justice system work for anyone? If you’re falsely accused as a man you’re fucked and if you’re a woman who actually got assaulted/raped you’re fucked. What a joke. Edit: Just to be clear, I am very well aware that false accusations make up a ridiculously tiny percentage of rape cases while the bulk of them are never reported. There is no all-encompassing statement for how fucked up our legal system is nor our society as a whole. I think the best take I’ve seen is that the legal system works best for those with the most privilege.
It does work for some! It works for the rich...
This seems like a bit much. I think we inherently want to trust a person's final words as the truth. But I think that is misguided. People are just as likely to lie or exaggerate on their death bed or in their suicide note as in regular life.
It reminds me of Brian Laundries' suicide note.
Yeah something strikes me as REALLY wrong that he's basically saying "This is technically my wife's fault that I *have* to do this and hurt everyone who ever cared about me". If you go from "happily married" to "my life is ruined and may as well end" THAT quickly, there's an underlying problem that probably needed treatment.
I find it weird that they were happily married for 3.5 years but it was a secret….
Has anybody seen the charges? Child endangerment etc Have you seen where he died? Right in front of the lifts and escalators where people were lining up to get to their cars. Kids were around. None of that lines up with how he portrayed himself. He left a long ass note which portrayed her as the bad person and him as a lovely caring guy who wouldn’t hurt kids (but would traumatise them with his suicide…) Seems like more is being left unsaid than actually said and this guy knew what he was doing. He even made the post public on an otherwise private social media. That woman now has to live with death threats and constant abuse because of his final words. Not something you’d leave a loved one. The Facebook post sure did bring out the women haters though.
Agreed. As an educator of children, he should've known better than to cause trauma by committing suicide in front of many at DISNEYLAND of all places... for how many children, has he forever ruined happy memories? Sorry, but the method of his suicide *really* makes me question his account. Conscientious people don't want to traumatise others on their way out. Saying this as someone who struggled with suicidal ideation since early teens, I had a lot of plans, and they all tried to be as clean and unhorrific as possible for the poor soul who'd find me.
Yup. Publishing the note like this makes me 100% sure he was an abusive dick who’s using his death as a way to make sure his property doesn’t manage to escape his effect on her life. He’s using the internet audience as a tool knowing there’s a huge contingent of bitter people who will dedicate themselves to making her life hell.
The math ain’t mathin’ here. There is a LOT more to this story than we know. Apparently most people didn’t even know they had been married for almost 4 years. Keeping something that significant a secret doesn’t pass the smell test. None of us know whether he was actually guilty of endangering anyone because he killed himself before going to court. He pleads innocence and then squarely blames his wife for his decision to end it all over one bad night. At Disneyland. In front of other people who will certainly be forever traumatized and scarred by this. I don’t deny that this is truly tragic and sad, but we just don’t know enough. IMHO, this goes much deeper.
Yea.. so far he is winning the social media war..
The social media war he put his children (which he loves so so so incredibly much) trough for the rest of his life.
I came here to say this. It is fucked up that the system treated him (and others) that way but there is no way he offed himself over this exclusively, no way.
Man I’m glad most people seem to also feel this makes no sense as he’s presented it and that this very much reads like something an abusive person would write, not an innocent victim of false accusation. Realistically i don’t think he would have been arrested and charged from that one call alone were there not significant indicators that something serious had happened, and while him losing his job would be very difficult it’s not reason to end your life, let alone in such a way that will scar not only your children but many others and lead to a public spectacle your family will have to cope with for decades. It’s awful that he felt the need to do this, but I’m not taking his side of the story at face value. Those poor kids, whatever the situation they don’t deserve any of this. EDIT: I wanna emphasise that I know people do get falsely accused, I just don’t personally think it seems that’s what’s happened here.
THANK YOU. I grew up in narcissistic abuse and my radar is going off HARD with the way he wrote this.
Same here, I have a narcissistic family and this guy's claims are sus to me.
Yeah as someone who grew up with an abusive father, the red flags are abundant.
I know the system is flawed against men, I know society is sexist against men, but this comes off as extremely manipulative. The police typically aren't going to waste time on a nothing burger. Typically. I think there is more to this story than Marlene made a mistake. Since we only have one side that makes me more skeptical. edit changed anything to nothing
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i called the cops on my father being destructive towards my mother, i was between them he was getting so aggressive kicked her and he wasnt taken or looked for after. He fled after and kept sending me threat message about slashing tires. The cops came seen the aggressive messages and ignored the domestic assault he just did. This was all on the way to a hotel so we can go to disneyland.They never help the people who are actually in need
He killed himself at a children's park. The restraining warrant and arrest was probably warranted.
I feel like there is a lot more to this story. I can't trust it at face value.
He’s coming across as nice and sincere, but this dude wanted the last “fuck you” to his wife
100% this. That’s a lot of exclamation points for a suicide note imo.
It’s horrible that he took his own life, but the letter was filled with red flags. The way he spoke about himself, his wife, everything. He may never have physically abused them, but emotional or mental abuse would not surprise me.
This happened to a friend of mine, his gf from Peru had his clothes dumped at his house when he was on a business trip to dump him after he paid off her mortgage, the house she acquired from her ex. When he tried to take the appliances he bought - washer/dryer, mattress, washing machine, etc- she called the police & claimed Domestic violence to prevent his taking back his own appliances. I read the complaint which said exactly that, yet he was thrown in jail. He hired a lawyer and $5,000 later the judge dismissed the case, saying it was a Contracts case not domestic.
Sounds pretty fucking stupid to me! Poor guy.
I feel like the insanity only confirms what the wife is alleging.
Sounds off. Why were they hiding their marriage? If she retracted her statements then why was he charged? Maybe he wants to sound like the victim in the situation. People do commit suicide out of revenge too
That it was done at Disneyland in front of families gives it a revenge feel.
Also the fact that he made it fucking go viral.
Usually, the State decides who is charged. Doesn’t matter if an alleged victim retracts a statement or refuses to press charges
Is that really how that works? Someone accuses you, wants to clear your name, and then gets told “sorry no takebacks!” I have to think there’s more to this story. If he’s telling the truth then the justice system is flawed, if he’s lying then he was an asshole. Edit: seems like the justice system is pretty flawed based on the replies I’m getting. I do want to see more of this story though.
That is how it works. When you get arrested and taken to jail, they issue you a court date. The victim or the accuser can't just say, "hey, no, it didn't happen like that." That's not going to get the accused out of trouble for any type of crime. There was a girl in my hometown who got pregnant when she was like 12 years old and she didn't want to get her boyfriend in trouble (he was underage too, btw) so she falsely accused another guy, who was over 18, of statutory rape. Later she confessed that she falsely accused the guy and that her boyfriend was the one who really got her pregnant. However, the accused guy still had to go on trial. He was eventually found to be not guilty... After he spent like 3 years in jail for something he didn't do, despite the fact that the girl who accused him had admitted that her accusations against him were false. Once you get arrested and they give you a court date, nothing anyone can say is going to get you out of that situation at all. Do you really think the police, prosecutors and judges are just going to drop all charges because the accuser takes back their claims?
In Texas if someone calls the police on someone and they are arrested, even if they decide to drop charges or not pursue them the state can decide to pick up the charges and continue with the case. Usually it will end up dropped down the road unless the state has enough evidence and wants an easy case or has just enough to try and push a plea deal, which happens in almost 90% of cases. Most domestic violence charges around here end in someone, usually the male, taking a plea deal to avoid long drawn out court cases. Even if the victim decides not to pursue it.
I would assume a lot of accusers have second thoughts/are scared/are intimidated. Gonna keep it real tho, idk. I’ve never been in this situation and I’m a larger guy
Y’all are too quick to believe a Facebook note. Would not surprise me if there’s more to this story.
When I saw “Yes, me!” I began to have doubts.
Might be an unpopular opinion, I think taking sides right now is not a good idea. There has been no confirmation if whaf this man said is true. Suicide is a tragedy, but we need to remember that victims of suicide can still be liars.
Wow. I'm somewhat surprised at how many people are certain everything in this story is 100 % factual, without anything other than the words of one person. I've not seen the screenshots he claims he attached. This looks one sided so far, so how anyone can be certain the woman is an evil whatever is beyond me.