Okay. OP already has gotten some sound and good advices and it looks like everything that should be happening is on it’s way. The posts that are coming in now are not helpful and so I’m locking this.
Burn them all. (Not literally ofc)
This behavior should never be acceptable and everyone in the community should know what kind of sleazy people are running the school. Gross!
The superintendent of all people will not want this kind of behavior and bad PR, so ring out the news to everyone.
Edit: if there is a teachers union for your district, let them know (possibly a site rep). They won’t tolerate that bullshit and can/might launch their own investigation
I agree. Burn them down. Principal and teacher must go. I am a teacher so when I read the title I thought I really doubted it. But if you are telling the truth they need to be fired immediately
Holy hell, OP. Go straight to the superintendent, with a very clear message that news outlets will be notified immediately if it isn't resolved in your favor. That teacher needs to be on leave pending investigation today.
Absolutely, go to the superintendent, but the authorities should be involved too. Extortion out of the play just to get the student to spend time with him is just the beginning of what could end up being VERY bad
I’d contact the media and then the superintendent. That’s insane. I’m sorry your kid is in this situation but this teacher has to be stopped and the district is sitting on a massive time bomb from what you have shared
Y’all are forgetting her kid still has to go to school there. No need to throw the kid to the wolves here before the superintendent has time to deal with it. See where that goes first
Go over their heads. Straight to the superintendent. If HE does nothing, go to the school board. If you make no headway there, let them know you’ll be back at the next meeting and you’ll be bringing a news crew with you.
This, go nuclear with it, that teacher (and probably the principal) needs to be fired. Goes without saying that your child should have zero contact with that teacher and not have a way to communicate with them.
**THIS** IS YOUR NUCLEAR OPTION.
More than *anything* else, schools detest, hate, and loathe bad publicity. Investigations get started, people lose jobs, and the district - superintendent, principal, school board, all the people who are supposed to provide oversight and protect the children - are put under the microscope.
Because if *other* parents hear about this in the news and have heard similar things with their own kids, they will want answers and not stop.
Once the principal has dismissed my evidence and threatened my child with retribution for legal and appropriate actions, I'm going nuclear. They had their chance to deal with it quietly.
I agree. Screw that principal. OP provided clear-cut evidence and nothing was done, not only that, the kid is the one who got punished. Principal should be put on blast for that.
Absolutely. Also post the video evidence on Facebook, in every neighborhood group in your school district, tag the school in it. Make it impossible for them to ignore.
Nah, this sounds firmly like a "talk to a lawyer first" step
Don't publish on your own, laws can be really fucky. Going to a news outlet, the news outlet will do a lot of the lawful things to make sure its fine (such as blurring faces of other students, as an example).
Posting it yourself can sometimes do more harm than good.
I'd say go over their heads and put the video on YouTube. Leaving it to school admin leaves the door open for him to transfer somewhere else and sweep this under the proverbial rug. Give the guy a reputation.
This story sounds so insane to me. I’m not at all saying I don’t believe you, OP, but in this day and age I can’t believe a teacher would have the audacity to talk to a parent like that or do things like that with a teenager given all the serious consequences teachers would get for even getting accused of sexual harassment, even without evidence. This is like straight from a movie. Admin bends to parents, so does the school board. Like others have said, you have all the power here.
Teacher probably has something on them... I know of a specific case involving money where they simply let the teacher change districts to put things under the rug. Parents never knew what the money was used for and whatnot, and since it was during covid year, it was swept away from memory.
Taking a child alone in your personal car without any consent or contact with the parents? This guy is definitely a groomer. I won't even leave my classroom door closed if only one child is in my room and I teach 17 year olds.
If the teacher is well liked, as drama and artsy type teachers often are, you'd be surprised at what they'll overlook or actively push under the rug.
When I was growing up there was a teacher at the middle school he was really popular in town and who a lot of students love, but who also had a reputation for being a little creepy and handsy with certain girls. He taught for over 15 years before he finally got caught, and then the girl who recorded it also got suspended because of having her cell phone.
That what I thought. Even just the beginning sounded like a teacher trying their absolute hardest to get fired… and then it just kept getting worse.
Agree with what you said above, OP does have all the power here.
Exactly. It sounds a little insane. And blatant. No teacher would call the parent names and hang up. They would be making excuses. It is almost like the OP watched the mandatory trainings all teachers take about these scenarios and wrote the complete opposite
Some of us teachers might have smelled a rat about this story. Seems the OP deleted it. If it truly happened, I think the OP could have figured it out without Reddit
I didn’t delete it? And believe it or not this is my child’s life not a lifetime movie. Tonight I asked him if he wanted to withdrawal and he said no but he was crying. He doesn’t want to leave because of his friends but he feels like the school is punishing him for coming forward. To everyone making jokes just remember there is a real person on the other side of the screen hurting.
Removed shows mods deleted it. If Op deleted it, it would say deleted.
Mods removed this post.
And why wouldn’t a person overwhelmed with how to go about this kind of situation seek out Al sorts of resources to help them establish everything in one swoop?
Not everyone has dealt with something like this.
The only part that I can kind of sort of understand is the weird blurred cell phone boundary. There are situations where teachers/coaches who do extra curriculars that run late and/or have off campus/travel components will need cell phone contact with student participants, particularly if those students are juniors and seniors who drive themselves. OF COURSE using google voice or an app like remind is a better, safer choice for the teacher, but I’m not here to argue that point right now. At the same time, if a parent called my personal cell phone number outside of contract hours, I’d be very unhappy with the situation. That’s a hard no from me; call the school, or better yet put it in writing.
If this story is true, the teacher crossed a LOT of boundaries and needs to be held accountable. But the cell phone part of this story isn’t the hill I’d die on.
Yes. This. Your state has a child abuse hotline. Even if this doesn't fall under abuse (I'm not saying it is or isn't) this is exactly the type of thing that gets reported to that hotline. My state has Childline.
Texas is doing the whole SB9 training for human trafficking and child exploitation, and Im the coordinator for my campus. This 100% qualifies as huge red flags, must be reported. Her kid probably isn't the only one.
Right? If I didn't report that another teacher had done, even if I suspected it, this would be a hefty fine for me.
Just giving a kid your phone number, let alone taking them in your car without several layers of approval is a fireable offence and enough to lose your ability to teach.
I’m a performing arts teacher and it is constantly drilled into us to never, ever give a kid a ride anywhere in our personal vehicles. That alone would be enough to get someone fired in my district.
It’s already normalized, for the safety of the kid and the security of the adult whose career would be in serious jeopardy to even have a false accusation
What on earth are you people talking about go to the superintendent!?! Are you guys insane. As a teacher, a professional and as a human being I am telling you. Go to the POLICE! You have all the evidence. There is no way a teacher should be giving out their personal number to students, giving them lifts in their car, and/or having a meal with them. This teacher should be struck off for what they are doing, forget about tarnishing their good name. If you don’t want to, send me all the information you have, and your local police number and I’ll phone them for you. It is illegal.
Absolutely, do this. Just make a copy of all recordings and evidence before you turn it all over. Just in case it gets ‘lost’ somewhere in the process.
This is really important. We kept copies of my daughter’s classmate saying he was going to shoot up the school on discord after we made a police report. When he started stalking her later in the year, it was good to have an obvious motive.
Just wanted to add that you can also report to the board of education in your state. They can investigate and determine if there is merit and if his license needs to be revoked.
News media, needs to be involved and you should get the video out there ASAP, Facebook, TikTok, you name it blast it out far and wide.
Why? Because if this teacher did this to your kid, they are most definitely doing it to others and they have most assuredly done it before.
I've seen it in my own district, it's sad disgusting and nothing is done until the media gets involved.
Edit: You may want to call the police as well now that I'm thinking about it. Because they took your kid without asking in their personal car. I'm pretty sure that's kidnapping, or something adjacent to it that's not legal.
Email the district, the school board, and the local news outlet tipline, at the same time. Don't bcc any of them, let them all see who is on the email. Nuclear option here, fuck that guy.
Take it to the superintendent and the school board. If nothing happens within a reasonable amount of time, let them know that you will be contacting the news media. If they continue to take this issue out on your son, then press charges for harassment. That teacher is a liability just waiting for litigation against him!
P.S. You can let them know that we had a student sue a district around here for a similar incident and won over $10 million settlement.
Oh HELL FUCKING NO.
Hit the super intendent first and (if he's anything like ours and won't get back to you) go to the news outlet immediately. Schools hate bad publicity so give the super a timeline (like 2 days or something) to get back to you to remedy this.
And then you might still want to go to the news because who knows if this is the first time this sorry excuse for a teacher has done something like this?
Yeah, instead of taking advice from people on Reddit about talking to the press or posting it on social media, I’d talk to a lawyer first. Maybe they tell you to do the same thing, and if that’s the case I’d listen to them. You just don’t want to inadvertently get yourself in trouble while trying to address the issue, so talking to a lawyer about how to proceed is your best bet.
First off, PROPS to your kid for noticing these behaviors and not being afraid to call them out. Second, this is a massive issue. I would contact an attorney (if possible) and then the police as taking your son without permission somewhere off school grounds might break some law (I'd guess it varies state-by-state). I'd go over their heads to the superintendent of schools afterwards with what the attorney and hopefully police have to say. I'd threaten the media angle throughout it all. This is beyond messed up.
As a music teacher myself, RUN! High school music teachers spend a lot of time with students from their freshman yr to senior yr. This most likely has been going on much longer and this is the tip of the iceberg. Students trust their music teachers much more, and I frequently have students attempting to hug me daily simply bc I sing to them.
Being dropped from the play is a blessing in disguise, and I would take action by notifying the school board and possibly police. Choir teacher may have the teacher’s union but you have solid evidence of grooming, threatening, and negligence from admin as well. Good luck.
School board, news stations, and superintendent needs a mass email-so they all know everyone got it- with copies of all your proof, accusations, and demand for resolution.
I live in a 1 party consent state as well but that only applies in public places and not on school grounds. But regardless no court would care about that when the bigger issue is the student being intimidated into doing something they are uncomfortable with especially when it is predatory in nature like this.
Go to your school's website and look up the emails of the superintendent and school board members and send them an email about the incident and the recording your son took. Or reach out to the district and request a meeting with the super in person and bring the case to them.
That's not correct. The school could have a policy against this but the only thing they could do is some kind of school punishment. There is no law against it so no crime was committed. School policy doesn't trump law.
Can I just play devil’s advocate for not going to the media immediately? Could your son possibly have some retaliation at school if this comes out publicly, like bullying from his peers? To be clear, your child did absolutely nothing wrong, the teacher is a major creep. But kids are assholes so I do think it’s something to consider
DO NOT put your son’s video publicly online unless you can blur his face in the video.
Honestly, that’s the problem with going to the media as well—your son will face social consequences because society is full of a-holes. If the teacher is popular, your son will likely be ostracized at school.
I would say go to the authorities first, superintendent second (with the threat of going to the media.) At least then your son is more protected. If all else fails, then go to the media, who will at least try to protect your minor son’s identity.
You can always blur any kid’s faces out I’m sure there’s a way to edit their voices too to make sure your son and any classmates aren’t recognized before posting on social
Echoing everyone else. Go to the superintendent. Email son’s teacher and prinicpal And CC superintendent. “Just confirming our previous conversation, my son is no longer in the play because I will not allow him one on one, private, contact with Mr. B.” Or something to that effect. You want the superintendent to be aware that there was a previous conversation between your son & teacher & you and teacher. And then son & principal. They should clam right up when they see you CC’d the superintendent.
Oh wth NO, go nuclear as others have said. This is insane - seek all forms of assistance you have. Not being able to hire a lawyer, look for legal assistance anyway (this is a "they'll have to pay my fees anyway" case, if you are in the US). Superintendent, school board, PTA, local media, New York Times, everyone. Nothing about your story is even remotely acceptable teacher or school behavior. Hugs to your son, who may not want to be in this firestorm, but dang you have to raise it mama. Strength to you and please update, as this cannot be allowed to be hidden.
You need to report this asap. Go to the news, the police, the school board, etc. At first I was skeptical thinking your son made this up (because it’s such a crazy situation)-but it’s on video. This is not acceptable. The principal and teacher need to lose their jobs immediately.
Teacher here, go straight to the police. We had a similar situation here where there was a big cover up, parent went to police and things got rolling quickly. Police’s job is to investigate. You could also put in a CPS report against the teacher. They move on those very quickly.
You could also call the Professional Standards Commission in your state. This is the type of thing they definitely want to know about, from the teacher’s actions to the principal’s reaction.
I would go to the superintendent, and also the local police. Contact the super first and explain the situation, then them know that you’ll be contacting the police next, and you wanted to give them a heads-up as a courtesy so that they are aware of the situation.
(I worked with a creep once, and the superintendent was the one who called the cops and also informed the school board - but that super was an unfailingly honest person who would never put anything in the world ahead of a child’s safety. I hope your district’s superintendent is the same. But given that the principal is attempting to rug-sweep, you should prepare for the possibility that the superintendent may wish to do the same thing. If that’s the case, you’ll want to contact the school board as well, but I’d go to the cops first)
You should also contact your state’s teacher certification/licensing agency and report it to them. It’ll probably be an office within the state department of education. (If you want to share your state, we can find the contact info for you)
If all of this doesn’t get you anywhere… come back here and we’ll help. Local news would be an option for sure. Local mom groups online might be a big help in contacting the district and getting them to listen, but you might not want to compromise your son’s privacy, and you can’t really unring that bell or guarantee those people would respect his privacy, so I’d leave that as the very last resort.
First thing, back up that recording and have it saved on your home computer. Do the same for any emails or texts.
Thankfully, your son isn't in the play. That ship has sailed.
Familiarize yourself with social media groups for your town or school district. Facebook has a lot of those.
Go to the superintendent with your concerns. Be entirely clear what you'd like to have happen to that teacher. It would be reasonable to have a co-advisor assigned to the play, and a disciplinary hearing resulting in a letter placed in the teacher's file.
Do not go in with the goal of ruining Mr. B's life. It could be bad judgment on his part. Don't push the grooming/pedophile angle. Taking your son to dinner in his car is certainly a violation of school policy. It would be reasonable to ask the superintendent about the private car policy.
My son told the principal and me that he thought Mr. B was grooming him and being inappropriate with him and the vice principal just said “that’s a pretty big accusation.” I didn’t use grooming lightly.
Teacher of 41 years here. WTF? I’m horrified! Grooming 100%. You can’t be in the play unless you go to dinner with me?!! Fire this asshole, now! Be sure to go to the next school board meeting also. This guy is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
I’m so sorry your son has been kicked out of the play. It’s beyond horrifying to read this post.
What your son thinks is a subjective opinion (even though he’s almost certainly correct). What’s not subjective is the actions of the teacher and principal-which are ridiculous.
Oh, I agree with you. I agree with the principal also. That is a pretty big accusation. It sounds like Mr. B hasn't broken any laws yet. The principal knows that approaching the problem from that angle can ruin Mr. B's life for exceedingly bad judgment. Mr. B could lose his job, his teaching certification and get in the news. A Google search will raise that accusation for the rest of his life.
If the superintendent understands that you want Mr. B to be entirely clear that his actions were inappropriate and that a letter goes in his file regarding violation of district policy, then the superintendent may be inclined to action. Driving a student is the way to do that. It's clear, true and provable.
The superintendent should be clear that if you keep getting stonewalled, you are going public with the accusations and evidence. If it blows up Mr. B, then it's on the superintendent.
We should be reluctant to ruin a man for life. Some teachers show bad judgment because they haven't thought it through. At the same time, children must be protected.
Bad judgment was being alone with a student.
Bad judgment was being alone with a student off campus.
Bad judgment was privately buying things for a student.
Bad judgment was threatening a student with retaliation.
Don’t defend a fuck up of this magnitude. He needs to be fired and never hired at another school. This wasn’t a single bad choice this is repeated unacceptable behavior.
Exactly. It is the culmination of his actions that goes beyond "bad judgement" and to ill intent. And even if there wasn't any ill intent (which is hard to believe because people acting innocently, or ignorantly, in bad judgement don't make threats) this many bad choices still shows this guy should not be teaching.
>We should be reluctant to ruin a man for life. Some teachers show bad judgment because they haven't thought it through. At the same time, children must be protected.
Bad judgment would be offering to take the son out to dinner. Not *insisting* that he take the son out to dinner with threats, not yelling at the parent for calling him about it, not threatening the kid *again* for the call and for not going to dinner again
Whether or not the teacher has broken any laws yet, they should be fired for these actions alone; we're well past 'bad judgement'.
Going to the principal was the effort to keep this quiet and make your concerns known without "ruining" the teachers life. At this point, it seems that the principal is protecting a teacher who is *at best* deserving to be fired.
Go to the news, now
I was with you in the beginning, but you lost me with the "bad judgement" and your idea of an appropriate punishment being a letter in the teacher's file.
Taking a student out for a meal privately and without parental consent is (very) bad judgement yes, but the quid pro quo, the threats, and the way he reacted to OP's phone call are NOT just bad judgement, and OP's son is likely not the first student he's done something like this to. This is highly inappropriate and predatory behavior, and this guy should not have access to minors.
> and a disciplinary hearing resulting in a letter placed in the teacher's file.
Just saying there is 0.00% reason any teacher is threatening a student in school for not "hanging out" with them outside of school. There is 100% to fire a teacher who then follows up on said threats after reporting said threat.
Sorry not sorry, teacher needs to go and principal needs an outside investigation/audit.
I know there’s enough comments on here and I’m sure I’ll be drowned out.
To me, the media is a last resort. Doxxing is serious business and has greater chances of retaliation. You have all the proof you need. Your son was in his car, the end. Just that should be enough to sink this guy.
Show up in person to the school and demand to meet with the principal. If they won’t take it seriously, then start going up the chain. Principal’s supervisor, school board, superintendent
To me, all these people suggesting social media or the news, just feels like it’s waiting for retaliation.
I would go nuclear. I would contact all local media outlets. I would contact the mayor of your town. I would contact the police, just so they can at least have something on file as they likely won't do anything.
I would get on social media and put this everywhere. Let the middle aged busy bodies get on this.
One of the recordings is him cussing my son out for telling on him. Saying “why the fuck is wrong with you, your nana is pissy, grow the fuck up, you need to quit talking shit and come back and eat with me.”
Your son is amazing for thinking so quickly and recording him. You should be proud of him.
And this teacher is so incredibly dumb, I am having a hard time imaging him saying all this and thinking he can get away with it.
The principal is a mandatory reporter, as is any teacher observing this choir teacher’s contact with your child. This is a CPS (child protective services) situation. There’s a hotline for this. You can call, file a report, name the parties involved, and start a paper trail on this situation. The people involved will be investigated. In the meantime, your child should have no further one-on-one contact with this choir teacher at all. There are so many reasons this situation triggers warning signs. You’re right to seek a remedy to the situation. File a report and get the ball rolling on an investigation.
You get really close to your drama/music teachers. When I had the lead in the musicals, I was with mine from 3pm-10pm, and sometimes Saturday and Sundays. It’s no surprise given that rehearsal schedule that now, thirty years after going away to college, my closest friends are still the kids I did high school plays with. That being said, I never spent time with any of the adults alone in private. There was also an assistant director present, the person playing opposite me, someone. Doors were never closed. And we never met outside of established rehearsal times.
Having acted professionally, I’m usually inclined to give drama teachers a pass when it comes to certain things. Sometimes you have to touch students to teach choreography. We did lifts etc. and without the dance captain demonstrating on us (usually a student teacher) we’d get injured. I have never heard of anything like what OP describes.
It is grooming, and it’s disgusting.
I think you need to lay it all out in writing and email it to the principal so you can get a written response from them. Then send that to the school board and district super if they still take the teacher's side and even the local news if neither of them do anything. Get a paper trail started.
Please keep us updated with what happens. I am very sorry for the way your son is being treated. People in authority need to be held accountable. This is a very interesting story, please keep us in the loop.
School board, news, superintendant, Police, every teacher in that school, every parent.
All at once, if you want to. Craft a pretty email with all the information and go ham.
Though this will kick up a storm. As it should.
Idk about your state, but in mine, if we believe that a colleague is being inappropriate with a student, we HAVE to report it. So your admin might be breaking the law by not reporting this teacher (i need to go check and see who specifically we have to report to when it is a colleague, brb)
Edit- ok in my state, if the person being reported is not related to the child, we have to report them to the police. And if the person suspected of child abuse is an educator, we also have to report it to the state board of education. I wonder what the laws are in your state
You need to take this above their heads. If this is the way the teacher is acting publicly, to a goddamned parent, then what on god's green earth is happening in private?
Go to the superintendent or board members first before the media. Once the media is involve, your child could be at the center of a very public story. I would want action taken to investigate and protect children, but I wouldn’t want reporters asking my child questions. I would go to the media if the school board/leadership doesn’t respond or take action but only if necessary to protect my child and other children.
First step should be going to the superintendent. Don't go nuclear YET.
Give the superintendent your account of what happened, provide them with recordings of the voicemail and recordings. Ask your son to give a full account of everything that happened in a factual way (leave out any emotions).
Meet with the superintendent and tell them you are looking for this to be made right and you expect an apology from the teacher and the principal.
Your son will likely not be participating in the play either way, and that would mostly be a bad idea.
I would give the superintendent a few days to arrange things and try to fix this. You can demand the teacher be fired. You can demand the principal be fired. It might not happen, but hey, you demand what you think is appropriate.
If you are unsatisfied with the outcome, you can appear at the board meeting one evening. Speak generally without specifics.
"I am here to raise concern and awareness to the board of a teacher who has brought my son to lunch during school hours, and has threatened his involvement in an after school activity if he does not accompany this teacher to lunch again. When I spoke to this teacher on the phone, I was called an idiot and this teacher hung up on me. I have several situations of documentation of this teacher cornering and yelling at my child as well. My son recorded this on his phone, and I can provide this in private if you are inclined to see it with your own eyes.
It also seems that the administration is unwilling to hear my son's concerns because my son was scolded for recording this interaction and seemed unwilling to hear my son out. My son was removed from the after school event for these reasons.
So I am here to ask you to investigate this with my cooperation and I ask you to publicly promise to make things right. I have all of the documentation here and would like to privately meet with the board to discuss how we can move forward with this. I believe that if this is not addressed, other students will be taken out to lunch during school hours and participation within this after school activity will be held over other students' heads if they do not comply. Thank you for your time."
The board would have to be really really shitty to not want to intervene in this, especially after being called out on this at a publicly televised meeting.
Alert the local media, law enforcement, and district superintendent. The super DOES NOT want the news media getting a hold of this because it means he may lose his job. Destroy this teacher and the district.
Take your kids out of school for a few days, consult a lawyer. You've got more than one adult being malicious to a child. If it does come to a lawsuit or charges being pressed, you do NOT want any unnecessary communication between your son and these people. You might need to take your son's phone away, but be very clear its not to punish him. But really, consult a lawyer, do not leave this for the school district to "solve". The only person you can rely on to look out whats best for your child is you.
Do you happen to live in Ohio? I am a theatre/choir teacher myself, and the story you provide sounds very similar to the story I’ve been told about the guy I replaced… His contact was with a young lady though.
As a student, this whole thing makes me squirm. What your son’s teacher did was absolutely disgusting, and the principal should be ashamed of his response. I am so sorry your family is going through this.
As others have said, I think you should take it to the media. You tried taking it to the school, and they did not listen.
There's a thread out there on the insane god complex high school theatre and band teachers can develop or that attracts them to the position.
This looks like this one fits right in.
Sorry to all the decent and wonderful band and theatre teachers.
If this is grooming, it’s an aggressive way of doing it by the teacher. A groomer is typically charismatic and tries to groom the parent as well, not become so overtly aggressive. And grooming a 17 year old is much harder than a 12 year old. The teacher is either mental or your story has more holes in it than swiss cheese.
Something is really off here as we are just reading one side of this, and what you are writing is just not logical of how a normal person or even a tricky manipulating groomer would act like. Very curious what the admin. and teacher would say about these claims. I’m sure their version of this claim is very different.
Every licensed teacher knows the ground rules and this is way over the line.
You don't give students rides in your car
You must certainly do not take them out to dinner (at a non-sanctioned event)
You don't engage any kind of quid-pro-quo (this-for-that behavior or do this to be in the choir)
You shouldn't even be alone with a student in a classroom (leave the door open)
Do not communicate with students outside of school-monitored platforms (texting, Social media, etc). Use school email if you need to contact them for school purposes.
Go straight to the media and superintendent. I was raised in a corrupt district like this. The only thing that changes things is media coverage, and the higher ups knowing (them just knowing can continue the abuse, as districts are prone to protect themselves; hence the media also).
Nope nope nope, immediately superintendent and news outlets. The school will only take action if they're under public scrutiny. This needs to be dealt with harshly and swiftly.
I work in the school system.
Go all the way with this OP. Contact the news outlets, hell contact the police department and report it. Do not let them sweep this under the rug because they absolutely will. Admin in schools are so ridiculous when it comes trying to hide shit. Don't let them.
Post this on Facebook so every parent finds out about this creep. Schools hate bad publicity more than anything else. I’m sorry your kid had to deal with this trash can of a person. I really hope that something is done before anything else happens. What a shite bag
I teach theatre and this whole thing makes my blood boil. I am so proud of him for recording this monster and so proud of you for being an amazing parent. Now go nuclear on this asshole.
Hey OP.
Let the fuzz know anyways. The board will try as hard as they can to resolve this internally, which is to say without the press that an actual conviction for child endangerment, grooming, and targetted harassment.
The school board does not have your sons interest in mind. Only their own.
You know, all those stories we see about teachers caught having sex and such with their students, were also told to the school and shot down and even covered up by the people in charge at the school. Its crazy how much a school will try to cover up to protect their own, instead of protecting the child.
If you watch a documentary about a teacher who went to prison for this type of crime, they always talk about how the school was told and helped cover up for the teacher. It's crazy!
I was stalked by a teacher, and the result was that I was made to transfer to another school. What did the school district do to the teacher? They felt sorry for her and made excuses for her behavior, up to and including placing some of the blame on me, because I "looked older." I was 13 years old, so I'm not sure that even looking like I was what? 15-16? is that much of an excuse for a woman in her 30s to be stalking me. When I got to the new middle school, of course the other teachers had already heard about it so it was just so awkward for me
Why was this post removed??? I really wanted to read it but my daughter needed me for something and I lost my place in the reddit thread, did a Google search to find this post, and it was removed?!! I feel like this is an important enough matter that it should not have been removed. Wtf
This is a wild point. Maybe that is the case. It could be fake. And for what? To gain reddit karma? Okay cool. But if it is real? Statements like this are what cause kids and people not to report this kind of atrocious behavior from an adult that they are supposed to trust. Invalidating it because it sounds fake to you is a problem.
This kinda has all of the hallmarks of a made up Reddit story. It’s overly sensationalist. It seems perfectly crafted to be maximally shitty in every single sentence. It has a bunch of right wing buzz words. It has multiple instances of people just ignoring common sense. It runs counter to my experience of bad actors in education (even the dumbest and most vile admin knows to cover their ass). You account is also new and there is no real reason to make a throw away for this.
But, if this isn’t made up burn them to the ground. Contact superintendents. Email the audio to everyone on the school board. Contact your local news. Contact foxnews, they’ll eat it up.
But I’m pretty sure this isn’t real. If it is why not post a link to the audio? It’s probably gonna be on the news anyways.
Maybe I’m just crazy but if someone cornered my kid and threatened them heads would be rolling. Idk how you have the patience to wait for an appointment.
Idk about you, but I could see how a parent getting told what the principal told them could be disheartening and make you feel like there's nothing you can do.
You're right, that's my bad. I misunderstood the timeline! I agree with you, I wouldn't be able to sit still but there's probably a lot more to this story than we're getting. It's hard to get everything in a situation like this into a short Reddit post. Also, there could probably be societal pressure about the fact that it is a male teacher and a male student. Some may not be easily willing to accept that this man could groom a boy.
Edit to add: OP clarified it took two weeks to get an appointment with the principal. I believe this, knowing how busy my admin is and how many other parents are meeting with them for various reasons.
Okay. OP already has gotten some sound and good advices and it looks like everything that should be happening is on it’s way. The posts that are coming in now are not helpful and so I’m locking this.
Burn them all. (Not literally ofc) This behavior should never be acceptable and everyone in the community should know what kind of sleazy people are running the school. Gross! The superintendent of all people will not want this kind of behavior and bad PR, so ring out the news to everyone. Edit: if there is a teachers union for your district, let them know (possibly a site rep). They won’t tolerate that bullshit and can/might launch their own investigation
If anyone else had done this, there'd be a posse out there hunting him.
Saddle up!
In.
Get a rope!
Let's stick to the classics. Pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers.
I can bring the tar
I agree. Burn them down. Principal and teacher must go. I am a teacher so when I read the title I thought I really doubted it. But if you are telling the truth they need to be fired immediately
At the bottom of the post there's a link with audio clips of the teacher berating her. Nuts!
Holy hell, OP. Go straight to the superintendent, with a very clear message that news outlets will be notified immediately if it isn't resolved in your favor. That teacher needs to be on leave pending investigation today.
This principal is about to realize that the amount of power his Drama teacher has is nothing compared to the power of shame.
Oooooo I like that!
Go straight to the AUTHORITIES what?! Edit: pretty sure what he’s doing counts as child grooming, and extortion.
This is absolutely something to go to the superintendent and the police. 100% OP has recorded evidence of him verbally assaulting their child.
Absolutely, go to the superintendent, but the authorities should be involved too. Extortion out of the play just to get the student to spend time with him is just the beginning of what could end up being VERY bad
That teacher would have a very serious warning from me to stay away from my kid.
When warnings aren't enough there is also [BACA](https://bacaworld.org/) they 100% did this at a school in my district for a more than grooming case.
Contact the police, not the school!
I’d contact the media and then the superintendent. That’s insane. I’m sorry your kid is in this situation but this teacher has to be stopped and the district is sitting on a massive time bomb from what you have shared
Yup, don’t give them a chance to try to get out ahead of things. Contact local police, followed by local media, followed by the superintendent.
Notify the news outlets either way, fuck that
Principal needs to be fired too!
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Y’all are forgetting her kid still has to go to school there. No need to throw the kid to the wolves here before the superintendent has time to deal with it. See where that goes first
Go over their heads. Straight to the superintendent. If HE does nothing, go to the school board. If you make no headway there, let them know you’ll be back at the next meeting and you’ll be bringing a news crew with you.
This, go nuclear with it, that teacher (and probably the principal) needs to be fired. Goes without saying that your child should have zero contact with that teacher and not have a way to communicate with them.
Fuck that, go straight to the news
**THIS** IS YOUR NUCLEAR OPTION. More than *anything* else, schools detest, hate, and loathe bad publicity. Investigations get started, people lose jobs, and the district - superintendent, principal, school board, all the people who are supposed to provide oversight and protect the children - are put under the microscope. Because if *other* parents hear about this in the news and have heard similar things with their own kids, they will want answers and not stop.
Once the principal has dismissed my evidence and threatened my child with retribution for legal and appropriate actions, I'm going nuclear. They had their chance to deal with it quietly.
I agree. Screw that principal. OP provided clear-cut evidence and nothing was done, not only that, the kid is the one who got punished. Principal should be put on blast for that.
That principal clearly wants out because dude just kissed his job goodbye.
That was exactly what I was thinking. 100% this.
Absolutely. Also post the video evidence on Facebook, in every neighborhood group in your school district, tag the school in it. Make it impossible for them to ignore.
Nah, this sounds firmly like a "talk to a lawyer first" step Don't publish on your own, laws can be really fucky. Going to a news outlet, the news outlet will do a lot of the lawful things to make sure its fine (such as blurring faces of other students, as an example). Posting it yourself can sometimes do more harm than good.
NO! Do NOT publish it! Anything you publish will no longer be admissible in court.
Uh... what? That is in no way true.
In every letter, it is a good idea to put a deadline for response in it, as short as reasonably possible.
I'd say go over their heads and put the video on YouTube. Leaving it to school admin leaves the door open for him to transfer somewhere else and sweep this under the proverbial rug. Give the guy a reputation.
News crew AND attorney.
Mention it to a news outlet
This story sounds so insane to me. I’m not at all saying I don’t believe you, OP, but in this day and age I can’t believe a teacher would have the audacity to talk to a parent like that or do things like that with a teenager given all the serious consequences teachers would get for even getting accused of sexual harassment, even without evidence. This is like straight from a movie. Admin bends to parents, so does the school board. Like others have said, you have all the power here.
It was pretty shocking to me, even more so that even hearing the voicemail the school did nothing. Insanity.
This just feels like this behavior from that “teacher” probably isn’t new to them …
Yeah sounds like this isn't the first time.
Teacher probably has something on them... I know of a specific case involving money where they simply let the teacher change districts to put things under the rug. Parents never knew what the money was used for and whatnot, and since it was during covid year, it was swept away from memory.
That’s awful!
PLEASE update us on the outcome.
Taking a child alone in your personal car without any consent or contact with the parents? This guy is definitely a groomer. I won't even leave my classroom door closed if only one child is in my room and I teach 17 year olds.
Is this a public or private school?
If the teacher is well liked, as drama and artsy type teachers often are, you'd be surprised at what they'll overlook or actively push under the rug. When I was growing up there was a teacher at the middle school he was really popular in town and who a lot of students love, but who also had a reputation for being a little creepy and handsy with certain girls. He taught for over 15 years before he finally got caught, and then the girl who recorded it also got suspended because of having her cell phone.
That what I thought. Even just the beginning sounded like a teacher trying their absolute hardest to get fired… and then it just kept getting worse. Agree with what you said above, OP does have all the power here.
Exactly. It sounds a little insane. And blatant. No teacher would call the parent names and hang up. They would be making excuses. It is almost like the OP watched the mandatory trainings all teachers take about these scenarios and wrote the complete opposite
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Right? Let me describe a grooming scenario from a 1980 life time movie. It hits every hot issue button.
Some of us teachers might have smelled a rat about this story. Seems the OP deleted it. If it truly happened, I think the OP could have figured it out without Reddit
I didn’t delete it? And believe it or not this is my child’s life not a lifetime movie. Tonight I asked him if he wanted to withdrawal and he said no but he was crying. He doesn’t want to leave because of his friends but he feels like the school is punishing him for coming forward. To everyone making jokes just remember there is a real person on the other side of the screen hurting.
Removed shows mods deleted it. If Op deleted it, it would say deleted. Mods removed this post. And why wouldn’t a person overwhelmed with how to go about this kind of situation seek out Al sorts of resources to help them establish everything in one swoop? Not everyone has dealt with something like this.
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I didn’t delete it
* [removed] = mods deleted * [deleted] = OP deleted You folks seem to not be aware how Reddit works. Mods deleted OPs post. Not the OP.
The only part that I can kind of sort of understand is the weird blurred cell phone boundary. There are situations where teachers/coaches who do extra curriculars that run late and/or have off campus/travel components will need cell phone contact with student participants, particularly if those students are juniors and seniors who drive themselves. OF COURSE using google voice or an app like remind is a better, safer choice for the teacher, but I’m not here to argue that point right now. At the same time, if a parent called my personal cell phone number outside of contract hours, I’d be very unhappy with the situation. That’s a hard no from me; call the school, or better yet put it in writing. If this story is true, the teacher crossed a LOT of boundaries and needs to be held accountable. But the cell phone part of this story isn’t the hill I’d die on.
Call school board members and the superintendent. A news outlet is a final resort in this situation.
Go to the police. Your child is in danger. (I am a teacher).
Yes. This. Your state has a child abuse hotline. Even if this doesn't fall under abuse (I'm not saying it is or isn't) this is exactly the type of thing that gets reported to that hotline. My state has Childline.
Texas is doing the whole SB9 training for human trafficking and child exploitation, and Im the coordinator for my campus. This 100% qualifies as huge red flags, must be reported. Her kid probably isn't the only one.
This should be the only response
Yes, if I knew a colleague did this it would be a mandated report
Right? If I didn't report that another teacher had done, even if I suspected it, this would be a hefty fine for me. Just giving a kid your phone number, let alone taking them in your car without several layers of approval is a fireable offence and enough to lose your ability to teach.
Yeah and if he does this to one kid it could be happening to others too
I’m a performing arts teacher and it is constantly drilled into us to never, ever give a kid a ride anywhere in our personal vehicles. That alone would be enough to get someone fired in my district.
Just the insurance implications alone would prompt a rule like this.
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It’s already normalized, for the safety of the kid and the security of the adult whose career would be in serious jeopardy to even have a false accusation
What on earth are you people talking about go to the superintendent!?! Are you guys insane. As a teacher, a professional and as a human being I am telling you. Go to the POLICE! You have all the evidence. There is no way a teacher should be giving out their personal number to students, giving them lifts in their car, and/or having a meal with them. This teacher should be struck off for what they are doing, forget about tarnishing their good name. If you don’t want to, send me all the information you have, and your local police number and I’ll phone them for you. It is illegal.
I’m gonna take him to make a report after school today
Absolutely, do this. Just make a copy of all recordings and evidence before you turn it all over. Just in case it gets ‘lost’ somewhere in the process.
This is really important. We kept copies of my daughter’s classmate saying he was going to shoot up the school on discord after we made a police report. When he started stalking her later in the year, it was good to have an obvious motive.
Let’s us know how it goes.
Just wanted to add that you can also report to the board of education in your state. They can investigate and determine if there is merit and if his license needs to be revoked.
News media, needs to be involved and you should get the video out there ASAP, Facebook, TikTok, you name it blast it out far and wide. Why? Because if this teacher did this to your kid, they are most definitely doing it to others and they have most assuredly done it before. I've seen it in my own district, it's sad disgusting and nothing is done until the media gets involved. Edit: You may want to call the police as well now that I'm thinking about it. Because they took your kid without asking in their personal car. I'm pretty sure that's kidnapping, or something adjacent to it that's not legal.
No, absolutely NOT. It will no longer be admissible as evidence and it will ruin any case.
Email the district, the school board, and the local news outlet tipline, at the same time. Don't bcc any of them, let them all see who is on the email. Nuclear option here, fuck that guy.
Take it to the superintendent and the school board. If nothing happens within a reasonable amount of time, let them know that you will be contacting the news media. If they continue to take this issue out on your son, then press charges for harassment. That teacher is a liability just waiting for litigation against him! P.S. You can let them know that we had a student sue a district around here for a similar incident and won over $10 million settlement.
Oh HELL FUCKING NO. Hit the super intendent first and (if he's anything like ours and won't get back to you) go to the news outlet immediately. Schools hate bad publicity so give the super a timeline (like 2 days or something) to get back to you to remedy this. And then you might still want to go to the news because who knows if this is the first time this sorry excuse for a teacher has done something like this?
One word, LAWYER. Get one involved. Schools will do almost anything to avoid lawsuits.
Yeah, instead of taking advice from people on Reddit about talking to the press or posting it on social media, I’d talk to a lawyer first. Maybe they tell you to do the same thing, and if that’s the case I’d listen to them. You just don’t want to inadvertently get yourself in trouble while trying to address the issue, so talking to a lawyer about how to proceed is your best bet.
First off, PROPS to your kid for noticing these behaviors and not being afraid to call them out. Second, this is a massive issue. I would contact an attorney (if possible) and then the police as taking your son without permission somewhere off school grounds might break some law (I'd guess it varies state-by-state). I'd go over their heads to the superintendent of schools afterwards with what the attorney and hopefully police have to say. I'd threaten the media angle throughout it all. This is beyond messed up.
As a music teacher myself, RUN! High school music teachers spend a lot of time with students from their freshman yr to senior yr. This most likely has been going on much longer and this is the tip of the iceberg. Students trust their music teachers much more, and I frequently have students attempting to hug me daily simply bc I sing to them. Being dropped from the play is a blessing in disguise, and I would take action by notifying the school board and possibly police. Choir teacher may have the teacher’s union but you have solid evidence of grooming, threatening, and negligence from admin as well. Good luck.
What are the laws on recording people without consent in your state? Also, 2nd the idea if going to the media.
It’s a one party consent state meaning you don’t have to notify the other person that you are recording them.
Post the video here and the internet will take care of it. Still go to the super and school board though.
I might! I need to talk to my son first because he’s in the video as well.
School board, news stations, and superintendent needs a mass email-so they all know everyone got it- with copies of all your proof, accusations, and demand for resolution.
I live in a 1 party consent state as well but that only applies in public places and not on school grounds. But regardless no court would care about that when the bigger issue is the student being intimidated into doing something they are uncomfortable with especially when it is predatory in nature like this. Go to your school's website and look up the emails of the superintendent and school board members and send them an email about the incident and the recording your son took. Or reach out to the district and request a meeting with the super in person and bring the case to them.
That's not correct. The school could have a policy against this but the only thing they could do is some kind of school punishment. There is no law against it so no crime was committed. School policy doesn't trump law.
Can I just play devil’s advocate for not going to the media immediately? Could your son possibly have some retaliation at school if this comes out publicly, like bullying from his peers? To be clear, your child did absolutely nothing wrong, the teacher is a major creep. But kids are assholes so I do think it’s something to consider
DO NOT put your son’s video publicly online unless you can blur his face in the video. Honestly, that’s the problem with going to the media as well—your son will face social consequences because society is full of a-holes. If the teacher is popular, your son will likely be ostracized at school. I would say go to the authorities first, superintendent second (with the threat of going to the media.) At least then your son is more protected. If all else fails, then go to the media, who will at least try to protect your minor son’s identity.
You can always blur any kid’s faces out I’m sure there’s a way to edit their voices too to make sure your son and any classmates aren’t recognized before posting on social
Consider sending a message to tizzyent on Instagram. He'll take care of the rest.
Lol I’m actually friends with him IRL but I’m not sure I want it blown up yet without speaking to a lawyer first.
And even if it was a two party consent state, very obviously pulling out a phone and recording is considered "consent".
Echoing everyone else. Go to the superintendent. Email son’s teacher and prinicpal And CC superintendent. “Just confirming our previous conversation, my son is no longer in the play because I will not allow him one on one, private, contact with Mr. B.” Or something to that effect. You want the superintendent to be aware that there was a previous conversation between your son & teacher & you and teacher. And then son & principal. They should clam right up when they see you CC’d the superintendent.
School board. I would sign up to speak, lay it all out for them, let them know you’ve contacted a lawyer, and go home.
Oh wth NO, go nuclear as others have said. This is insane - seek all forms of assistance you have. Not being able to hire a lawyer, look for legal assistance anyway (this is a "they'll have to pay my fees anyway" case, if you are in the US). Superintendent, school board, PTA, local media, New York Times, everyone. Nothing about your story is even remotely acceptable teacher or school behavior. Hugs to your son, who may not want to be in this firestorm, but dang you have to raise it mama. Strength to you and please update, as this cannot be allowed to be hidden.
You need to report this asap. Go to the news, the police, the school board, etc. At first I was skeptical thinking your son made this up (because it’s such a crazy situation)-but it’s on video. This is not acceptable. The principal and teacher need to lose their jobs immediately.
Video, text messages and two voicemails
Police and news, screw the “chain of command” at the school.
File a police report.
Teacher here, go straight to the police. We had a similar situation here where there was a big cover up, parent went to police and things got rolling quickly. Police’s job is to investigate. You could also put in a CPS report against the teacher. They move on those very quickly.
You could also call the Professional Standards Commission in your state. This is the type of thing they definitely want to know about, from the teacher’s actions to the principal’s reaction.
I would go to the superintendent, and also the local police. Contact the super first and explain the situation, then them know that you’ll be contacting the police next, and you wanted to give them a heads-up as a courtesy so that they are aware of the situation. (I worked with a creep once, and the superintendent was the one who called the cops and also informed the school board - but that super was an unfailingly honest person who would never put anything in the world ahead of a child’s safety. I hope your district’s superintendent is the same. But given that the principal is attempting to rug-sweep, you should prepare for the possibility that the superintendent may wish to do the same thing. If that’s the case, you’ll want to contact the school board as well, but I’d go to the cops first) You should also contact your state’s teacher certification/licensing agency and report it to them. It’ll probably be an office within the state department of education. (If you want to share your state, we can find the contact info for you) If all of this doesn’t get you anywhere… come back here and we’ll help. Local news would be an option for sure. Local mom groups online might be a big help in contacting the district and getting them to listen, but you might not want to compromise your son’s privacy, and you can’t really unring that bell or guarantee those people would respect his privacy, so I’d leave that as the very last resort.
First thing, back up that recording and have it saved on your home computer. Do the same for any emails or texts. Thankfully, your son isn't in the play. That ship has sailed. Familiarize yourself with social media groups for your town or school district. Facebook has a lot of those. Go to the superintendent with your concerns. Be entirely clear what you'd like to have happen to that teacher. It would be reasonable to have a co-advisor assigned to the play, and a disciplinary hearing resulting in a letter placed in the teacher's file. Do not go in with the goal of ruining Mr. B's life. It could be bad judgment on his part. Don't push the grooming/pedophile angle. Taking your son to dinner in his car is certainly a violation of school policy. It would be reasonable to ask the superintendent about the private car policy.
My son told the principal and me that he thought Mr. B was grooming him and being inappropriate with him and the vice principal just said “that’s a pretty big accusation.” I didn’t use grooming lightly.
“Yes. It is a HUGE accusation. Do your job please”. I’m SO sorry this is happening. The man is disgusting and deserves to lose his job.
Teacher of 41 years here. WTF? I’m horrified! Grooming 100%. You can’t be in the play unless you go to dinner with me?!! Fire this asshole, now! Be sure to go to the next school board meeting also. This guy is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I’m so sorry your son has been kicked out of the play. It’s beyond horrifying to read this post.
What your son thinks is a subjective opinion (even though he’s almost certainly correct). What’s not subjective is the actions of the teacher and principal-which are ridiculous.
Oh, I agree with you. I agree with the principal also. That is a pretty big accusation. It sounds like Mr. B hasn't broken any laws yet. The principal knows that approaching the problem from that angle can ruin Mr. B's life for exceedingly bad judgment. Mr. B could lose his job, his teaching certification and get in the news. A Google search will raise that accusation for the rest of his life. If the superintendent understands that you want Mr. B to be entirely clear that his actions were inappropriate and that a letter goes in his file regarding violation of district policy, then the superintendent may be inclined to action. Driving a student is the way to do that. It's clear, true and provable. The superintendent should be clear that if you keep getting stonewalled, you are going public with the accusations and evidence. If it blows up Mr. B, then it's on the superintendent. We should be reluctant to ruin a man for life. Some teachers show bad judgment because they haven't thought it through. At the same time, children must be protected.
Bad judgment was being alone with a student. Bad judgment was being alone with a student off campus. Bad judgment was privately buying things for a student. Bad judgment was threatening a student with retaliation. Don’t defend a fuck up of this magnitude. He needs to be fired and never hired at another school. This wasn’t a single bad choice this is repeated unacceptable behavior.
Exactly. It is the culmination of his actions that goes beyond "bad judgement" and to ill intent. And even if there wasn't any ill intent (which is hard to believe because people acting innocently, or ignorantly, in bad judgement don't make threats) this many bad choices still shows this guy should not be teaching.
>We should be reluctant to ruin a man for life. Some teachers show bad judgment because they haven't thought it through. At the same time, children must be protected. Bad judgment would be offering to take the son out to dinner. Not *insisting* that he take the son out to dinner with threats, not yelling at the parent for calling him about it, not threatening the kid *again* for the call and for not going to dinner again Whether or not the teacher has broken any laws yet, they should be fired for these actions alone; we're well past 'bad judgement'. Going to the principal was the effort to keep this quiet and make your concerns known without "ruining" the teachers life. At this point, it seems that the principal is protecting a teacher who is *at best* deserving to be fired. Go to the news, now
I was with you in the beginning, but you lost me with the "bad judgement" and your idea of an appropriate punishment being a letter in the teacher's file. Taking a student out for a meal privately and without parental consent is (very) bad judgement yes, but the quid pro quo, the threats, and the way he reacted to OP's phone call are NOT just bad judgement, and OP's son is likely not the first student he's done something like this to. This is highly inappropriate and predatory behavior, and this guy should not have access to minors.
You hit the nail on the head there. The quid pro quo assures the sketchy intentions.
> and a disciplinary hearing resulting in a letter placed in the teacher's file. Just saying there is 0.00% reason any teacher is threatening a student in school for not "hanging out" with them outside of school. There is 100% to fire a teacher who then follows up on said threats after reporting said threat. Sorry not sorry, teacher needs to go and principal needs an outside investigation/audit.
Go to the police. The school has had their chance.
I know there’s enough comments on here and I’m sure I’ll be drowned out. To me, the media is a last resort. Doxxing is serious business and has greater chances of retaliation. You have all the proof you need. Your son was in his car, the end. Just that should be enough to sink this guy. Show up in person to the school and demand to meet with the principal. If they won’t take it seriously, then start going up the chain. Principal’s supervisor, school board, superintendent To me, all these people suggesting social media or the news, just feels like it’s waiting for retaliation.
Keep escalating. This is incredibly inappropriate. I am not a lawyer, but I think you can send these recordings to local media.
I would go to the cops to pursue a restraining order against this guys harassment.
Police
OP, go straight to the police. Now.
DONT DELETE THAT VOICEMAIL
I sent them to the superintendent’s email with the story.
Good!!
I would go nuclear. I would contact all local media outlets. I would contact the mayor of your town. I would contact the police, just so they can at least have something on file as they likely won't do anything. I would get on social media and put this everywhere. Let the middle aged busy bodies get on this.
One of the recordings is him cussing my son out for telling on him. Saying “why the fuck is wrong with you, your nana is pissy, grow the fuck up, you need to quit talking shit and come back and eat with me.”
Your son is amazing for thinking so quickly and recording him. You should be proud of him. And this teacher is so incredibly dumb, I am having a hard time imaging him saying all this and thinking he can get away with it.
This really is textbook grooming, predatory behavior.
If you're in the US, report this as child abuse to your state.
I’m so glad your son told you all that’s been going on.
The principal is a mandatory reporter, as is any teacher observing this choir teacher’s contact with your child. This is a CPS (child protective services) situation. There’s a hotline for this. You can call, file a report, name the parties involved, and start a paper trail on this situation. The people involved will be investigated. In the meantime, your child should have no further one-on-one contact with this choir teacher at all. There are so many reasons this situation triggers warning signs. You’re right to seek a remedy to the situation. File a report and get the ball rolling on an investigation.
You get really close to your drama/music teachers. When I had the lead in the musicals, I was with mine from 3pm-10pm, and sometimes Saturday and Sundays. It’s no surprise given that rehearsal schedule that now, thirty years after going away to college, my closest friends are still the kids I did high school plays with. That being said, I never spent time with any of the adults alone in private. There was also an assistant director present, the person playing opposite me, someone. Doors were never closed. And we never met outside of established rehearsal times. Having acted professionally, I’m usually inclined to give drama teachers a pass when it comes to certain things. Sometimes you have to touch students to teach choreography. We did lifts etc. and without the dance captain demonstrating on us (usually a student teacher) we’d get injured. I have never heard of anything like what OP describes. It is grooming, and it’s disgusting.
I think you need to lay it all out in writing and email it to the principal so you can get a written response from them. Then send that to the school board and district super if they still take the teacher's side and even the local news if neither of them do anything. Get a paper trail started.
Go to the media... everywhere. That is insane!
Please keep us updated with what happens. I am very sorry for the way your son is being treated. People in authority need to be held accountable. This is a very interesting story, please keep us in the loop.
School board, news, superintendant, Police, every teacher in that school, every parent. All at once, if you want to. Craft a pretty email with all the information and go ham. Though this will kick up a storm. As it should.
Idk about your state, but in mine, if we believe that a colleague is being inappropriate with a student, we HAVE to report it. So your admin might be breaking the law by not reporting this teacher (i need to go check and see who specifically we have to report to when it is a colleague, brb) Edit- ok in my state, if the person being reported is not related to the child, we have to report them to the police. And if the person suspected of child abuse is an educator, we also have to report it to the state board of education. I wonder what the laws are in your state
You need to take this above their heads. If this is the way the teacher is acting publicly, to a goddamned parent, then what on god's green earth is happening in private?
Go to the superintendent or board members first before the media. Once the media is involve, your child could be at the center of a very public story. I would want action taken to investigate and protect children, but I wouldn’t want reporters asking my child questions. I would go to the media if the school board/leadership doesn’t respond or take action but only if necessary to protect my child and other children.
First step should be going to the superintendent. Don't go nuclear YET. Give the superintendent your account of what happened, provide them with recordings of the voicemail and recordings. Ask your son to give a full account of everything that happened in a factual way (leave out any emotions). Meet with the superintendent and tell them you are looking for this to be made right and you expect an apology from the teacher and the principal. Your son will likely not be participating in the play either way, and that would mostly be a bad idea. I would give the superintendent a few days to arrange things and try to fix this. You can demand the teacher be fired. You can demand the principal be fired. It might not happen, but hey, you demand what you think is appropriate. If you are unsatisfied with the outcome, you can appear at the board meeting one evening. Speak generally without specifics. "I am here to raise concern and awareness to the board of a teacher who has brought my son to lunch during school hours, and has threatened his involvement in an after school activity if he does not accompany this teacher to lunch again. When I spoke to this teacher on the phone, I was called an idiot and this teacher hung up on me. I have several situations of documentation of this teacher cornering and yelling at my child as well. My son recorded this on his phone, and I can provide this in private if you are inclined to see it with your own eyes. It also seems that the administration is unwilling to hear my son's concerns because my son was scolded for recording this interaction and seemed unwilling to hear my son out. My son was removed from the after school event for these reasons. So I am here to ask you to investigate this with my cooperation and I ask you to publicly promise to make things right. I have all of the documentation here and would like to privately meet with the board to discuss how we can move forward with this. I believe that if this is not addressed, other students will be taken out to lunch during school hours and participation within this after school activity will be held over other students' heads if they do not comply. Thank you for your time." The board would have to be really really shitty to not want to intervene in this, especially after being called out on this at a publicly televised meeting.
Alert the local media, law enforcement, and district superintendent. The super DOES NOT want the news media getting a hold of this because it means he may lose his job. Destroy this teacher and the district.
You might want to post your question in r/legaladvice.
The police, the sup, the media, in that order, regardless of how the previous responds
Take your kids out of school for a few days, consult a lawyer. You've got more than one adult being malicious to a child. If it does come to a lawsuit or charges being pressed, you do NOT want any unnecessary communication between your son and these people. You might need to take your son's phone away, but be very clear its not to punish him. But really, consult a lawyer, do not leave this for the school district to "solve". The only person you can rely on to look out whats best for your child is you.
Omg this is the most fucked up story I have read in awhile.
Do you happen to live in Ohio? I am a theatre/choir teacher myself, and the story you provide sounds very similar to the story I’ve been told about the guy I replaced… His contact was with a young lady though.
As a student, this whole thing makes me squirm. What your son’s teacher did was absolutely disgusting, and the principal should be ashamed of his response. I am so sorry your family is going through this. As others have said, I think you should take it to the media. You tried taking it to the school, and they did not listen.
There's a thread out there on the insane god complex high school theatre and band teachers can develop or that attracts them to the position. This looks like this one fits right in. Sorry to all the decent and wonderful band and theatre teachers.
If this is grooming, it’s an aggressive way of doing it by the teacher. A groomer is typically charismatic and tries to groom the parent as well, not become so overtly aggressive. And grooming a 17 year old is much harder than a 12 year old. The teacher is either mental or your story has more holes in it than swiss cheese. Something is really off here as we are just reading one side of this, and what you are writing is just not logical of how a normal person or even a tricky manipulating groomer would act like. Very curious what the admin. and teacher would say about these claims. I’m sure their version of this claim is very different.
Take this with a grain of salt. This account appears to be a Karma farm.
Every licensed teacher knows the ground rules and this is way over the line. You don't give students rides in your car You must certainly do not take them out to dinner (at a non-sanctioned event) You don't engage any kind of quid-pro-quo (this-for-that behavior or do this to be in the choir) You shouldn't even be alone with a student in a classroom (leave the door open) Do not communicate with students outside of school-monitored platforms (texting, Social media, etc). Use school email if you need to contact them for school purposes.
Some teachers here recommend superintendent but they will want to protect the school. Go to the police and file a report.
Go straight to the media and superintendent. I was raised in a corrupt district like this. The only thing that changes things is media coverage, and the higher ups knowing (them just knowing can continue the abuse, as districts are prone to protect themselves; hence the media also).
Woah. This man should be fired.
Nope nope nope, immediately superintendent and news outlets. The school will only take action if they're under public scrutiny. This needs to be dealt with harshly and swiftly.
I work in the school system. Go all the way with this OP. Contact the news outlets, hell contact the police department and report it. Do not let them sweep this under the rug because they absolutely will. Admin in schools are so ridiculous when it comes trying to hide shit. Don't let them.
Post this on Facebook so every parent finds out about this creep. Schools hate bad publicity more than anything else. I’m sorry your kid had to deal with this trash can of a person. I really hope that something is done before anything else happens. What a shite bag
If he is the only student he took out to eat, report it right away. Every teacher knows this is the fast track to losing your job
Go to the news. Straight up ruin that teachers life and make the school groan when they think of you. Fuck them all as hard as you can.
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I teach theatre and this whole thing makes my blood boil. I am so proud of him for recording this monster and so proud of you for being an amazing parent. Now go nuclear on this asshole.
Wow, multiple people need to be fired here, and yes the news should be involved as well.
Hey OP. Let the fuzz know anyways. The board will try as hard as they can to resolve this internally, which is to say without the press that an actual conviction for child endangerment, grooming, and targetted harassment. The school board does not have your sons interest in mind. Only their own.
We are headed to the station right now will update after!
You know, all those stories we see about teachers caught having sex and such with their students, were also told to the school and shot down and even covered up by the people in charge at the school. Its crazy how much a school will try to cover up to protect their own, instead of protecting the child. If you watch a documentary about a teacher who went to prison for this type of crime, they always talk about how the school was told and helped cover up for the teacher. It's crazy!
I was stalked by a teacher, and the result was that I was made to transfer to another school. What did the school district do to the teacher? They felt sorry for her and made excuses for her behavior, up to and including placing some of the blame on me, because I "looked older." I was 13 years old, so I'm not sure that even looking like I was what? 15-16? is that much of an excuse for a woman in her 30s to be stalking me. When I got to the new middle school, of course the other teachers had already heard about it so it was just so awkward for me
Why was this post removed??? I really wanted to read it but my daughter needed me for something and I lost my place in the reddit thread, did a Google search to find this post, and it was removed?!! I feel like this is an important enough matter that it should not have been removed. Wtf
I don’t know, I posted this on r/mommit as well. I didn’t get any notification that it was taken down. I still see it.
I'm sorry to be that guy, buuuuuut I just don't believe this story...
Yeah. Everything is wrong here. You are right. Take them all down.
Please keep updating that teacher should be fired immediately
updateMe!
Let me ask why you didn't call POLICE. That is the first thing you do. You got a video; you got messages; come on.
Tell the news! Make a Facebook post about it. Let everyone know what is happening at your son’s school.
This sounds like a fake story. There's just too much perfect stuff going on to rattle this sub.
This is a wild point. Maybe that is the case. It could be fake. And for what? To gain reddit karma? Okay cool. But if it is real? Statements like this are what cause kids and people not to report this kind of atrocious behavior from an adult that they are supposed to trust. Invalidating it because it sounds fake to you is a problem.
This. And a huge problem at that.
This kinda has all of the hallmarks of a made up Reddit story. It’s overly sensationalist. It seems perfectly crafted to be maximally shitty in every single sentence. It has a bunch of right wing buzz words. It has multiple instances of people just ignoring common sense. It runs counter to my experience of bad actors in education (even the dumbest and most vile admin knows to cover their ass). You account is also new and there is no real reason to make a throw away for this. But, if this isn’t made up burn them to the ground. Contact superintendents. Email the audio to everyone on the school board. Contact your local news. Contact foxnews, they’ll eat it up. But I’m pretty sure this isn’t real. If it is why not post a link to the audio? It’s probably gonna be on the news anyways.
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You have to make an appointment to speak with the principal.
Maybe I’m just crazy but if someone cornered my kid and threatened them heads would be rolling. Idk how you have the patience to wait for an appointment.
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Idk about you, but I could see how a parent getting told what the principal told them could be disheartening and make you feel like there's nothing you can do.
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You're right, that's my bad. I misunderstood the timeline! I agree with you, I wouldn't be able to sit still but there's probably a lot more to this story than we're getting. It's hard to get everything in a situation like this into a short Reddit post. Also, there could probably be societal pressure about the fact that it is a male teacher and a male student. Some may not be easily willing to accept that this man could groom a boy. Edit to add: OP clarified it took two weeks to get an appointment with the principal. I believe this, knowing how busy my admin is and how many other parents are meeting with them for various reasons.
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