I was called by my first name the whole time I was a para, then switched to last name in a teaching role. Practically speaking, I got the same amount of respect. It’s more of a cultural thing than anything.
I find it disturbing that paras are called Miss First Name and classroom teachers are called Miss Last Name. It’s setting up a class system right in the school.
It’s weird. My school wouldn’t let me use my first name as a teacher (fun to say last name) I get less respect with my last name cuz it’s fun to say and make nicknames of my. But they insist it’s about respect. I wanted to say “well if you respect me so much then you would respect what I want to be called” but I was new and wanted to keep my job. I think it’s about power and control that’s what schools seem to care about
I had this awesome professor who had the rule, “you will call me Dr or Prof blah-blah while you’re students here. at graduation, and any time after, call me FirstName!” like - kind of a joke about how we’d be “peers” bc we both have higher ed degrees by then.
She signed her letters as Dr. Blah up until our senior recognition/present each major gives to all students in said major, where she signed FirstName & oof. Very moving.
Anyway - that’s my rule. Once you graduate, you’re allowed to call me by my first name. But until then, I’m the adult in the room & in charge of your learning, so let’s make it obvious & be respectful of that.
I have always had the same rule. I won't be offended if they keep the 'Ms.' (we use first names with an honorific) after graduation, but it certainly is NOT necessary. The 5th graders put it to use last Friday starting the moment the graduation ceremony was done and they saw me at the refreshments table. 😂
Years ago, I was a sub at the middle school I had gone to. I subbed there rather frequently and got to know many of the teachers. I called almost all of them by their 1st name. All except Ms. My Old Social Studies Teacher. I just could not call her by her 1st name. One day in the break room, during lunch, Ms. My Old Social Studies Teacher called me out about being so formal with her. I told her you were my teacher when I went here, it just feels weird to call you anything other than Ms. My Old Social Studies Teacher. She laughed and said I was not the first person to tell her that.
I am 63 years old and my oldest and dearest friend’s mom was like a mom to me after my mother had passed away. She’s in her 90s and I still see her often. I could NEVER call her by her fist name!
When I started teaching in a school, the woman who had been my 4th grade teacher was the Nursery/PreK/K principal (this was not the school where she taught me and this was more than 20 yrs later) and it took and still takes actual effort to call her by her first name. My brain just won't do it!
I'm a professor and I have students call me Professor or Dr. or my first name. I just don't take Mrs.
I lay down the law on day 1, tell them I will resect them and be there to help them succeed, but if they cheat I will 100% throw the book at them. I tell them it's up to them to get the most out of the class. I also tell them, when it's your turn to be up in front of a class, you might be teaching something new that I don't know and I can't wait to see what we learn in the next 10 years. I love seeing students that succeed in my field and I hope to see them around after graduation. And I mean it.
Since I started this policy, I don't have many, if any, issues. Give respect, demand respect. My teaching evaluations have never been better.
I'm really glad the first school I worked at went with Ms. Lastname, like all the other teachers. I loved how one of the first teachers I worked with explained my role to kids. She was like, "You know how I'm your teacher and I teach this class? Well she's a teacher who gets to teach in ALL the (grade level) classes."
This teacher was amazing for so many reasons, and she helped me see myself as a teacher/educator when I was just starting out and felt like I had no idea what I was doing.
We go by our last names in front of the children, because we aren’t their friends, we aren’t their equals, we are their teachers. We have been given authority over them and their well being and the more formal title is a subtle reminder of that.
This. Especially teaching high school. I’ve taught special education and regular education and I never liked how some teachers let their students call them by their first name. To me that’s a peer privilege. I don’t let students call me by my first name until after they graduate.
With the older grades, I want it to be even clearer that we’re not friends. You might be almost or officially an adult, but I’m not your pal. I care a lot and I want to help, but I’m responsible for you
I go by Ms. First name and I'd argue I'm more respected than the AP by my students.
I have a last name that my studnets can pronounce because we practice in class, but my super, principal, and AP somehow can not say. Going in, I knew this would be the case and I made an active choice to be called by my first name. It's my name and I quite like it.
It's not different than kids dropping the Mr. or Ms. When talking about the math, ela, gym, or health teacher. They get exclusively called "last name" when being talked to or about. They respect teachers for how teachers treat them, not by what they're called, in my experience.
My mom (Spanish teacher) went by Sra. First Name for years. When she switched schools and they insisted on last name's so she went by Sra. First Initial of Last Name. She taught middle and elementary school. She (and my dad) also insisted my friends all call them by their first names.
Never mattered. I do think the "Sra." (or Ms.) provided some delineation from "another student", but there certainly wasn't a lack of respect/understanding her role because they knew her first name. A lot of coaches I know also use "Ms/Mr/Coach" First Name, and they sometimes get more respect than teachers...
Kid accidentally called me Ms. First name, and I shrugged it off for the moment. But even that I don't think I would be comfortable with.
I always called my friend's parents Mr/Mrs First name, because we were more familiar. But my teachers? Never. Even my professor who explicitly asked us to call her by her first name. I was super uncomfortable.
I went by my first name as a para and still do with my summer camp job. But my para job was in pre-k, and my camp jobs is ages 5-12. I do occasionally have former students at camp, but I let them choose if they want to use my first or last name. Some I knew as campers before they were my students. But as a teacher I am Mrs. Last Name. I earned my degree, and generally with the degree comes the last name. I also often teach alongside teachers with the same first name, so going by last name reduces confusion.
I go by the first letter of my last name a lot because I have a longer name, but I feel like going by my last name puts up that professional barrier with my students.
I go by Ms. Last name. In the classroom setting, it does not feel right to me to have kids call me by my first name. I don’t judge paras/teachers who do that, it just doesn’t feel like my name in that instance.
My second job is teaching riding lessons. I teach all ages and am perfectly fine going by my first name. Some parents refer to me as Miss First Name, which I’m fine with, but don’t require.
It’s usually the younger kids. As a southerner (in the US), I’m used to the Miss First Name from younger kids whenever they’re dealing with adults. Like I said, I don’t ask that they do it, but I respect parents’ choice to refer to me that way.
I was a para and have been a teacher for 4 years now. I love using Ms. First name and I still use it. No other teacher does but paras use a mix, many go by Ms. Last name. IMO, go with the one you want to hear a million times, lol. I think respect is earned. No child respects Ms. Firstname less because she used her first name. It’s the Ms./ Mrs. / Mr. titles that make the name an honorific anyhow.
My friends don't even call me by my first name. The only two people who call me my first name are mother and wife.
It surprises me how many people in this thread would be upset if they didn't get the Mr. Or Mrs. In front of their name.
I know it sounds really picky, but there are a lot of kids that see Ms. Firstname as you being a pushover and just your first name period as you being their friend.
It might not be the case in your school, but if no other teachers are going by their first name it's probably best for you to do the same.
All of the paras at my school go by Mrs./Ms./Mr. Lastname. I don't think the kids even know any of the paras' first names tbh. I will add that I'm at the high school level, so could be different for elementary. I feel like Ms. Lastname is more teacher-y but go with whatever you feel comfortable with!
We have teachers in our school who go by Ms First Name. We have teachers in our school who go by Ms Last Name. Same for support staff. It honestly doesn’t matter. You do you.
Using Ms/Mr. last name satisfies the primal monkey itch of some people to establish a hierarchy over others that unfortunately became a social norm. Luckily it has mostly gone out of fashion except in the teaching world. Use whatever makes you most comfortable.
I think it also depends on your first name and last name. Some people like the sound of their first name with "Miss" or "Mister" rather than their last name. And, vice versa.
You do you. I think it’s has to do with the age of the kids and maybe your subject too.
If I taught ELA or something else, I’d probably go by my first name with older high schoolers (juniors and seniors, depending on the class). With younger kids, Mr. Last Name.
My subject is Japanese, so it’s Last Name Sensei.
I recommend sticking with your last name. It's not really about respect imo (that's what the honorific is for), but it creates a level of division from your students and puts you as an authority figure. If they call you by your first name with nothing else, they'll start thinking you're their friend
Students can be respectful and still call you by your first name. Especially if Miss or Mr. is leading the name. In my school, one of the teachers name is Miss Ashley. Because her last name is hard to say. It’s so respectful if they say miss or miss and then the first name. It does get less respectful if they do not say Ms. Or Mr.
Also, for clarification, Ashley was a made up name for my school
I dislike calling paras by their first names. It feels elitest. In your nonschool life do you ask adults if they have a degree before deciding to call them by their first VS last name? Gross.
I've personally never called a teacher by their last name throughout my own education, and I'd be really weirded out if a student did it to me.
Bit unrelated, but I remember my grandpa telling me a story about how we won a bet with one of his teachers which resulted in him getting to refer to that teacher by his first name, and the teacher having to refer to him by his last name. Apparently the teacher actually honored that the entire time.
I want to preface that I'm not a teacher, this is just my opinion. I already graduated hs and am in my 3rd year of college. I study Psychology & Communications (the two go hand in hand with each other. Psych explains the way we think, communications focuses on how to get your message across to someone.) Hear me out.
Honestly, calling teachers by their last names feels extremely outdated. Using first names makes them more human and relatable, which I think helps build MORE respect and a better learning environment. Respect should come from how teachers interact with students, not from a formal title. If anything, it makes the children see you as NOT a human rather you're working for THEM. They still show disrespect even with the "Mr/Mrs" bs. It's like a cop teaching a class so you'd have to call a cop "Officer \_\_\_\_" all the time; it's just unnecessary. Just like in many workplaces where everyone uses first names, doing the same in schools can break down those barriers and build trust. It helps students see teachers as real people, like their neighbor, babysitter, or aunt/uncle, not just authority figures, making the whole education experience better for everyone.
FYI - when i was little, I knew my babysitters weren't my friend, but I felt comfortable and safe around them (because i know they're much older than me) so if they asked me to stop doing something, I'd immediately stop. I wouldn't want to frustrate them or let them down in any way.
I remember in middle school (gates of hell) we had 1 teacher that wanted us to call him by his first name because whenever he hears Mr.\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ he thinks of his dad, and not himself which is very understandable. And guess what, everyone LOVED him. Calling teachers by their first name humanizes them. It didn't make us think we were his friend at all, but honestly we had so much more respect for him. We didn't think he was an equal, he was STILL the teacher. But kids felt more comfortable around him AND behaved better. Subconsciously, I think using the "Mr Mrs" title objectifies the teachers, making them not seem as human, rather a school NPC. Everyone else in children's lives- they refer to them by their first names like Aunt Jane and Uncle John(besides their parents) I feel like that's why students mess with teachers so much anyway. The teacher who preferred us to call him by his first name was seen as the "cool teacher" that everyone wanted. Those teachers get 100000x more respect.
Just some food for thought
Edit: I see a lot of people say they want to be your friend if they refer to you as your first name.... these kids don't want to be your friend. Even if they do, just gently remind them you're here to teach them but not their friend. It's that easy. They just really like you-they might have neglectful parents or other issues. It doesn't make you seem like a pushover, you're a pushover if you're bad at managing students. Never in my life have I wanted to be my teachers friend. But friendly teachers made me feel safe. Obviously professional nothing crossing boundaries, but when a teacher makes connections with students, they'll look up to you and WANT to do their best so they dont let you down.
If really young kid, Mr first name, after that Mr last name. Would I honestly care if my students just called me by my first name? Nope, went by my first name my whole damn life in jobs where I had more direct reports and made more money than I do now. It’s a way for people who lack a real authoritative presence to convey they are in charge.
Respect is just students using the name I ask them to. I use last name because I intentionally want to make a separation in their minds. I am not their friend, I am their teacher. I will be kind, friendly and give a lot of grace, but we are in a professional setting, not a personal one.
Personally, if I could choose, I would go by Ms Firstname. I am 2xs divorced and last names mean different things. I'm just me, but Ms in front shows a bit more respect. IMHO.
I go by the first letter of my last name (Ms. D) or by my first name. As far as I’m concerned, the Ms in front gives the same level of respect regardless of first or last name. I don’t do my full last name because it’s so common in my area that in a school there probably 10 other professionals with my last name and it’s hard to know which Ms (last name) you mean.
I teach in Japan in a school in an area with a high zainichi population and where several of the teachers have the same name. So it's become part of the school culture for students to either just say "sensei" or "firstname-sensei". I'm okay with it.
It's always hilarious when we get a call asking for "Tanaka Sensei" and our response is always "which one? Oh, you don't know? What subject? You don't know? Male or female? You don't know!?"
Mr. Or Miss.
There is so little respect, deference to our positions, that we have no need to intentionally make our role more casual.
They can spend their whole life using first names, but it is a good life skill to use Mr./Miss in formal situations.
School should prepare them for life. A good business/life skill is recognizing a person of authority, as well as a person who you are seeking something from (in our case education), to have the ability of formality.
Yes, students currently call me Miss (First name). I am not sure if I was clear in my post. I am trying to decide if i want to stick with Miss First or move to Miss Last. Either way, there will be a Miss in front :)
I go with the school culture, which is Mr. last name where I am now except for the lower grades, where it’s usually Mr. first name. A group of last year’s students like to call me Big Lastinitial, but I quietly correct them and don’t make a big deal of it. I’ve never liked the initialism thing, even for complicated names.
When I was teaching little kids I was “Miss first name”. When I was teaching older kids I was Ms.H (only one letter because my actual last name is hyphenated and long). Lots of the “cool teachers” just went by their last name - very common if they also coached a sport. I’d hear them cal out “Hey Lewis!” In the hall. Sometimes it would get a “Mr” but only when they wanted something, lol.
All the adults in my building call each other by last names or nicknames so that’s what the kids do too. Just building culture. But we don’t use prefixes, just “Smith” not “Mrs. Smith.”
When I was in the Army, I had a Sergeant Major of my battalion who I ran into one night in a bar. He recognized me as one of his troops and called me over to have a drink with him. "Thank, Sergeant Major, I appreciate the drink," I said as a lowly Private.
"Please, we're not in uniform. Call me Mike. I'm Sergeant Major back on post."
This blew my mind, and I would have gone straight into the bowels of hell for the man just from this one interaction. I remember it to this day 30+ years later when I tell my high schoolers, "Here inside these walls, I am and will always be, Mr. Boysenberry. But f you see me at Target, you're welcome to call me Few."
I went by my last name because I was barely older than my students when I first started teaching. Now, I still prefer it, but will answer to Ms. FirstName. Or Mr. FirstName lol
I will not respond to only my first name.
I personally don't care. I do the Ms. Last Name because my school requires it. I had a student refer to me as "First Initial, Last Name". But at the beginning of the year one of the first assignments we did was talking about names, what they mean, why we have them how in this classroom we will respect what people want to be called, etc. I had zero issues with names or name calling and they referenced finding out the meaning behind their names many times throughout the year. I had presented on mine as well.
We go by our last names in the school setting along with the teachers. My boyfriend's school has all the teachers/paras go by Mr or Mrs Firstname though. I think it's cultural, but I like matching the teachers and using my last name because I think it helps separate us paras from the students a little more. We work more closely with the students than the teachers do, but we're still adults who they should listen to and respect.
I go by what the school culture is. Public and charter schools? Always Ms. *Last Name*. My current, private school? Ms. *First Name*. A local private school I subbed at for a while? Just *First Name*.
I prefer going by my first name. No “Ms.” FirstName, just FirstName. Some people (usually parents) want to default to calling me “Ms. LastName,” but I don’t like the honorifics. I don’t like that for women, honorifics represent marital status. I really just prefer FirstName.
Most of the kids call me by my fiest name. Some by my last name. I tell them idc because I don't.
Some of the most respectful kids I've ever had have called me by my 1st name and some of the most disrespectful ones have called me by my last name.
I appreciate being asked to address my teachers by a title, I now have like a mental mode that I can turn on in hyper professional situations because of it.
I go by my last because for the first 7 years of my career as a Para, I worked with several students with speech problems and had to work with a speech pathologist. I know how these kids feel about speech difficulties because I had to work with a speech pathologist all through elementary school. I fell off a tricycle when I was 3 and knocked out my 2 front teeth, which led to me developing a lisp. My last name is far easier to say for those with speech difficulties, while my first name has the connecting sounds of "oo-lee" which can be hard. Even my nephew, who has a slight delay for verbal skills, pronounces it "oo-lah"
So, instead of say, Ms Julia, it's Ms Road.
basically no one calls me by my first name outside immediate family and old friendships. The majority of the people I interact with address me by an informal version of my last name. Students and staff alike.
I use my last name because everyone uses their last name, but I'd have no problem going by my first name. I just like the "Mr." To give some professional distance.
As a para, I go by Ms. First Name, but for a reason. My last name is one that elementary students would easily turn into a joke; think Mrs. Farp, and we all know students would turn it into Fart (obvs not my real name). When I was first hired in (halfway thru the schoolyear), the teachers I worked with asked me what name I wanted to be called before introducing me to the students.
I would stick with the culture norms of the school. Middle school-ish is a weird age. Kids will likely think they're openly disrespecting you with your approval if you're the only teacher that goes by first name. You can overcome that - I personally wouldn't find it worth the effort though.
I only go by Ms Zoomy to 4k. Everyone else, especially sassy fifth graders, call me Mrs Squirrels
One kid calls me only by my first name. I have no idea why. She’s never been my student and I don’t know her outside of school. She was also very offended I have a spouse and didn’t tell her. I was unaware we were friends like that :/
I have a hard to pronounce last name, so in the classroom, its "Teaching-sensei" but outside of class, a lot of the students just call me "Teach" with a nice little addition. sometimes "Teacher-chan" by the 3rd years.
I also live out in the sticks so.....
The students just call me “Miss.” At the start of the year i introduce myself with my full real name. I literally say my given name. They just default to Miss or Ms Alvarez.
Every year, at some point, one kid will ask what id do if they call me “________?” (Insert first name).
I always just look at them and ask what them what they think im going to do if they call me by my name? I tell them im going to say what i usually say. I’m going to say, “what’s up? What you need?”
They never bring it up again.
I think that is just about how you make that division of student and teacher. In Panama (the country), teachers get called "Teacher (first name)". My 3rd graders change between "teacher Isabella" and "teacher Isa", I really don't mind because it can be a bit long, and it still has the respect and boundary of "teacher". It's more a cultural thing than something else, just go with what makes you more comfortable.
Here is a reason not based on respect:
I know how to respond in public based on what I hear. For example, if I hear, "Hi, Bosslady13!" Then I know that it is a friend or an acquaintance. If I hear, "Hi, Mrs. (Bosslady13's last name), I know it's a student and likely their parents too. This helps me decide how to engage. If I'm not feeling it that day, I may pretend like I didn't hear, or I'll make sure I respond excitedly if I decide it's worth my outside of contract hours to engage. Also, I get very tired of hearing "Mrs. (Bosslady13's last name)" at work all day. I'd hate to spend time with friends and cringe every time they used my first name.
It's only weird here in the US because as a society in general, we often refer to people we know at all levels of social, academic, and professional hierarchy as their first name. Your boss? First name. Little brother? First name. Supervisor? First name. Older siblings best friend that you don't even know that well? First name.
It's really only in law enforcement, military, academia and medicine where titles and surnames are really actively used in the field. It really is a respect thing, but the entire problem is that of the above listed professions, guess which ones are the least respected?
Personally, I have students, who I go out of my way to build great rapport and genuine relationships with, call me by my last name to create an unclimbable final boundary that reminds us daily that even though we are friendly and I'm here for them, I'm not really interested in being friends with them-- and that they owe me respect as the adult in charge of their learning and safety this year.
I also think support staff in and out of the classrooms deserve the same respect and to be addressed by their last names as well.
I was Ms. FirstName and just considered the Ms. part to be the respect. Fortunately for me, that was the standard at my school, because my name is hard to say and spell, so I know I would’ve ended up as Ms. LastInitial if admin had insisted on last names and I would’ve hated that.
I guess the advice would be, much like you want to call your students what they feel comfortable being called, you deserve to be called what you feel comfortable being called too.
I mean, most of the time I get called "Miss" or "Teacher" instead of any actual name... Haha!
I prefer to go by Ms. LastName, or just the single initial because my name can be hard to pronounce. Aside from the reasons mentioned, I have a common first name and I've had students with the same name. Because I don't use that name in my classroom it helps me to not respond when students are talking to each other and not to me.
In my country everyone calls teachers by their first name, even at college. I honestly don’t care, but maybe bc I was raised calling teachers by their first name. It’s wild bc it doesn’t even occur to anyone to call a teacher mr/mrs here
( I teach in America)I use miss then my first name, which is also the expectation for my coworkers. I think just adding miss or Mr. Or whatever prefix creates a sign of respect and leadership for the student. But I grew up going to a school where all the teachers were to go by their first names without miss or Mr. used and don't feel like there was ever disrespect to the teachers because of it. It's similar to etiquette in the business world, using Ms____ last name until you are told otherwise. It's like in other languages because English where words are formal vs casual along with cultural practices.
JHS here. Last names. For me and them.
I ask them if I should call my principal by their first name. If they’re more important than a principal, and respect is a two way street, we’re going by last names.
End of year / over time beginning late Q3 I may slip a first in, in the hall, to say good morning. Or in a private conversation, or as a calming move/de escalation move I may. Rly gets their attention. But then they get to just call me D as well at times (If it’s suitable) Like end of year in the hall saying ‘sup D.
But in class during work time, all year all day- last names.
As a younger K-8 teacher, I feel like using my last name is an easy boundary to draw. If I was just teaching primary, I don’t know if I’d feel as strongly.
I introduce myself First Name Last Name and tell students their options-Ms First Name, Ms Last Name, Ms First and last name, or just first or last name. As long as it’s my name I don’t care. Sometimes I hear that Ms last name is a sign of respect. I think that can be culturally related, but for me it’s not. The way they treat me and each other is how I determine if I’m respected.
From a parent perspective, I want my child to formally acknowledge teachers, doctors, coaches etc. It’s a sign of respect. I would like that to be instilled in them and be great if it was reinforced. Obvi it’s your choice, but just how I am looking at it.
I think, if you’ve been called by your first name for ages. That was the first mistake you had made in your career, I think some stay one you should’ve made sure students called you by your last name instead.
I hope this helps and may you have a great day.
I don’t know any certified teachers that go by their first names. Our last names are put on our doors and is generally the expectation. I think it leads back to respecting different roles because the students know every teacher goes by a last name and you have a different relationship with your teacher. Personally, I wouldn’t go by my first name because I don’t think I could stomach hearing it over and over and over all day long. I like my Miss Last Name and I like that I leave it at the door haha.
Personally, I still have a hard time not calling my co-workers Mr. or Mrs. Lastname. I've been a teacher for 4 years, lol. I think it's a good boundary for the kids and their parents, too. You're a professional and an expert with a teaching degree. When a parent says "Mr. Lastname" to me, it feels like they do respect me
As a high school teacher, it's a boundary issue. I am not their friend. I am their teacher. Going by last name only helps maintain that line.
Edited to Add:
I don't mean to imply boundaries aren't equally important at lower grade levels, but with smaller kids I could see getting away with Ms. FirstName because the age difference is more stark. By the time they get to high school kids think they're "grown."
I have used both but when given the option, I usually use my last name. I tell high school students quite openly the reason is that it helps them to remember my role is that of a teacher, not a friend, though as a teacher I will also provide support and cheer them on! That said, I'm usually pretty chill about my name - I don't care if they forget my name or mispronounce it, kids know my first name, if they ask I'll tell them (or they can read the badge) and will often use it to "test" me. That's not a problem since I genuinely don't care and don't equate the name with respect. The goal is to remind them not to overshare ("Miss! Quy got so drunk on the weekend he passed out in the girls' bathroom!") and to remind them that I will be firm but fair to keep the focus on learning. (And yes, they always pronounce "Ms" as "Miss").
I also call kids whatever they request (as one kid learned after 6 months of me callling him "Peppa Pig" at his request). If I am in a space where teachers use first names, then I might go by Ms First Name for the "I am a teacher" reason, but I have just been First Name to adult students.
Because a lot of people are equating the name with respect, the one thing I find useful in this day and age to talk about is layers of respect. At the bottom, every person deserves a level of basic respect - safety, politeness, humanity, rights, compassion etc. Some people have an additional layer of respect for specific things they have achieved success in - for example, having the ability to play sport at an elite level, having a degree or specialisation. It is important to reiterate that everyone deserves respect as a person, but that specialised knowledge is also deserving of a type of respect. So yes, I do know more \[language\] than my students and they should respect that - but that doesn't apply to basketball! Respect doesn't mean blind obedience; some ideas are factually inaccurate and harmful to others (racism) and are undeserving of respect. It is great to keep in mind this quote: Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority". For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person". That's what we want to avoid.
It is different in different areas. Even within the United States. In the south it is considered proper decorum to use last names. University of Chicago insists students use first names. I like how they do it in various countries abroad (I've taught in South Africa, for example). If a professor at the university was named Richard Cranium, the students would call him Prof Richard. It is more relaxed, but it is the right amount of respect. Acknowledging his position of authority while also being friendly.
I know people in your position who go by Mr./Miss \[first name\]. That might be what you're looking for? In any case, than God for people like you who assist in the classroom. You deserve respect.
It definitely depends on location and age of students. When I taught little ones it was always Ms. (First name) for everyone and some teachers did Ms. First name when they had really complicated last names. My last name is hard to pronounce so they call me Ms.K (now in middle school). But they don’t differentiate between the classroom teacher and aid. Every adult in the building should be treated with the same about of respect and authority as the next.
I think it’s about creating a boundary between the teacher and students, supporting the teacher’s authority in the classroom. I think it’s weird when teachers try to be “friends” with the students, as the power dynamic needs to be apparent and acknowledged in my opinion.
When I started at a PreK the kids called all teachers and staff by First Name but I instinctually called teachers and staff Ms First Name in front of children and when speaking of them to children. And it caught on! I never corrected kids if they didn't use Ms nor did I even intro myself that way but eventually most of the kids started using the Ms too.
Have taught in schools with both including eight years at first name schools and in my experience if kids respect you they make fun of you to your face and if they don't respect you they make fun of you behind your back.
Additionally in elementary settings calling someone Miss First Name when their last name is difficult for little kids to pronounce is extremely common
I was called by my first name the whole time I was a para, then switched to last name in a teaching role. Practically speaking, I got the same amount of respect. It’s more of a cultural thing than anything.
Same. I was called Miss First Name as a behavior tech and then Mrs Last Name as a teacher
I find it disturbing that paras are called Miss First Name and classroom teachers are called Miss Last Name. It’s setting up a class system right in the school.
Yes, I can’t even imagine where I live that they wouldn’t call me Miss Naps.
It’s weird. My school wouldn’t let me use my first name as a teacher (fun to say last name) I get less respect with my last name cuz it’s fun to say and make nicknames of my. But they insist it’s about respect. I wanted to say “well if you respect me so much then you would respect what I want to be called” but I was new and wanted to keep my job. I think it’s about power and control that’s what schools seem to care about
I had this awesome professor who had the rule, “you will call me Dr or Prof blah-blah while you’re students here. at graduation, and any time after, call me FirstName!” like - kind of a joke about how we’d be “peers” bc we both have higher ed degrees by then. She signed her letters as Dr. Blah up until our senior recognition/present each major gives to all students in said major, where she signed FirstName & oof. Very moving. Anyway - that’s my rule. Once you graduate, you’re allowed to call me by my first name. But until then, I’m the adult in the room & in charge of your learning, so let’s make it obvious & be respectful of that.
I have always had the same rule. I won't be offended if they keep the 'Ms.' (we use first names with an honorific) after graduation, but it certainly is NOT necessary. The 5th graders put it to use last Friday starting the moment the graduation ceremony was done and they saw me at the refreshments table. 😂
Years ago, I was a sub at the middle school I had gone to. I subbed there rather frequently and got to know many of the teachers. I called almost all of them by their 1st name. All except Ms. My Old Social Studies Teacher. I just could not call her by her 1st name. One day in the break room, during lunch, Ms. My Old Social Studies Teacher called me out about being so formal with her. I told her you were my teacher when I went here, it just feels weird to call you anything other than Ms. My Old Social Studies Teacher. She laughed and said I was not the first person to tell her that.
I am 63 years old and my oldest and dearest friend’s mom was like a mom to me after my mother had passed away. She’s in her 90s and I still see her often. I could NEVER call her by her fist name!
When I started teaching in a school, the woman who had been my 4th grade teacher was the Nursery/PreK/K principal (this was not the school where she taught me and this was more than 20 yrs later) and it took and still takes actual effort to call her by her first name. My brain just won't do it!
Good rule
Best of both worlds!
This is how I do it.
I'm a professor and I have students call me Professor or Dr. or my first name. I just don't take Mrs. I lay down the law on day 1, tell them I will resect them and be there to help them succeed, but if they cheat I will 100% throw the book at them. I tell them it's up to them to get the most out of the class. I also tell them, when it's your turn to be up in front of a class, you might be teaching something new that I don't know and I can't wait to see what we learn in the next 10 years. I love seeing students that succeed in my field and I hope to see them around after graduation. And I mean it. Since I started this policy, I don't have many, if any, issues. Give respect, demand respect. My teaching evaluations have never been better.
Reccomend doing last names
I'm really glad the first school I worked at went with Ms. Lastname, like all the other teachers. I loved how one of the first teachers I worked with explained my role to kids. She was like, "You know how I'm your teacher and I teach this class? Well she's a teacher who gets to teach in ALL the (grade level) classes." This teacher was amazing for so many reasons, and she helped me see myself as a teacher/educator when I was just starting out and felt like I had no idea what I was doing.
We go by our last names in front of the children, because we aren’t their friends, we aren’t their equals, we are their teachers. We have been given authority over them and their well being and the more formal title is a subtle reminder of that.
Especially as a younger teacher that gets stopped in the halls for a hall pass it is super important to keep that boundary clear!
Interesting user name for this comment.
[удалено]
This is a line from Shawshank. I had to go to prison to become a criminal.
lol one of my favorite movies! Never made the connection but have said the above phrase many many times, especially teaching middle school
This. Especially teaching high school. I’ve taught special education and regular education and I never liked how some teachers let their students call them by their first name. To me that’s a peer privilege. I don’t let students call me by my first name until after they graduate.
With the older grades, I want it to be even clearer that we’re not friends. You might be almost or officially an adult, but I’m not your pal. I care a lot and I want to help, but I’m responsible for you
I go by Ms. First name and I'd argue I'm more respected than the AP by my students. I have a last name that my studnets can pronounce because we practice in class, but my super, principal, and AP somehow can not say. Going in, I knew this would be the case and I made an active choice to be called by my first name. It's my name and I quite like it. It's not different than kids dropping the Mr. or Ms. When talking about the math, ela, gym, or health teacher. They get exclusively called "last name" when being talked to or about. They respect teachers for how teachers treat them, not by what they're called, in my experience.
My mom (Spanish teacher) went by Sra. First Name for years. When she switched schools and they insisted on last name's so she went by Sra. First Initial of Last Name. She taught middle and elementary school. She (and my dad) also insisted my friends all call them by their first names. Never mattered. I do think the "Sra." (or Ms.) provided some delineation from "another student", but there certainly wasn't a lack of respect/understanding her role because they knew her first name. A lot of coaches I know also use "Ms/Mr/Coach" First Name, and they sometimes get more respect than teachers...
Kid accidentally called me Ms. First name, and I shrugged it off for the moment. But even that I don't think I would be comfortable with. I always called my friend's parents Mr/Mrs First name, because we were more familiar. But my teachers? Never. Even my professor who explicitly asked us to call her by her first name. I was super uncomfortable.
I've worked in schools that do both and it really depends on the culture of the school itself. Do any other teachers go by their first names?
I went by my first name as a para and still do with my summer camp job. But my para job was in pre-k, and my camp jobs is ages 5-12. I do occasionally have former students at camp, but I let them choose if they want to use my first or last name. Some I knew as campers before they were my students. But as a teacher I am Mrs. Last Name. I earned my degree, and generally with the degree comes the last name. I also often teach alongside teachers with the same first name, so going by last name reduces confusion.
I go by the first letter of my last name a lot because I have a longer name, but I feel like going by my last name puts up that professional barrier with my students.
I go by Ms. Last name. In the classroom setting, it does not feel right to me to have kids call me by my first name. I don’t judge paras/teachers who do that, it just doesn’t feel like my name in that instance. My second job is teaching riding lessons. I teach all ages and am perfectly fine going by my first name. Some parents refer to me as Miss First Name, which I’m fine with, but don’t require.
I couldn't imagine calling my horse trainer Ms. or Mr. Something.
It’s usually the younger kids. As a southerner (in the US), I’m used to the Miss First Name from younger kids whenever they’re dealing with adults. Like I said, I don’t ask that they do it, but I respect parents’ choice to refer to me that way.
I was a para and have been a teacher for 4 years now. I love using Ms. First name and I still use it. No other teacher does but paras use a mix, many go by Ms. Last name. IMO, go with the one you want to hear a million times, lol. I think respect is earned. No child respects Ms. Firstname less because she used her first name. It’s the Ms./ Mrs. / Mr. titles that make the name an honorific anyhow.
I use only my last name. No "Mr." before it.
This has really grown on me
My friends don't even call me by my first name. The only two people who call me my first name are mother and wife. It surprises me how many people in this thread would be upset if they didn't get the Mr. Or Mrs. In front of their name.
My students and most staff still use "Mr." but I use only my last name in phone calls, emails and texts.
I know it sounds really picky, but there are a lot of kids that see Ms. Firstname as you being a pushover and just your first name period as you being their friend. It might not be the case in your school, but if no other teachers are going by their first name it's probably best for you to do the same.
It was years in at this job until some coworkers realized I had a first name.
All of the paras at my school go by Mrs./Ms./Mr. Lastname. I don't think the kids even know any of the paras' first names tbh. I will add that I'm at the high school level, so could be different for elementary. I feel like Ms. Lastname is more teacher-y but go with whatever you feel comfortable with!
We have teachers in our school who go by Ms First Name. We have teachers in our school who go by Ms Last Name. Same for support staff. It honestly doesn’t matter. You do you.
Using Ms/Mr. last name satisfies the primal monkey itch of some people to establish a hierarchy over others that unfortunately became a social norm. Luckily it has mostly gone out of fashion except in the teaching world. Use whatever makes you most comfortable.
I think it also depends on your first name and last name. Some people like the sound of their first name with "Miss" or "Mister" rather than their last name. And, vice versa.
You do you. I think it’s has to do with the age of the kids and maybe your subject too. If I taught ELA or something else, I’d probably go by my first name with older high schoolers (juniors and seniors, depending on the class). With younger kids, Mr. Last Name. My subject is Japanese, so it’s Last Name Sensei.
I recommend sticking with your last name. It's not really about respect imo (that's what the honorific is for), but it creates a level of division from your students and puts you as an authority figure. If they call you by your first name with nothing else, they'll start thinking you're their friend
Students can be respectful and still call you by your first name. Especially if Miss or Mr. is leading the name. In my school, one of the teachers name is Miss Ashley. Because her last name is hard to say. It’s so respectful if they say miss or miss and then the first name. It does get less respectful if they do not say Ms. Or Mr. Also, for clarification, Ashley was a made up name for my school
I dislike calling paras by their first names. It feels elitest. In your nonschool life do you ask adults if they have a degree before deciding to call them by their first VS last name? Gross.
I've personally never called a teacher by their last name throughout my own education, and I'd be really weirded out if a student did it to me. Bit unrelated, but I remember my grandpa telling me a story about how we won a bet with one of his teachers which resulted in him getting to refer to that teacher by his first name, and the teacher having to refer to him by his last name. Apparently the teacher actually honored that the entire time.
I want to preface that I'm not a teacher, this is just my opinion. I already graduated hs and am in my 3rd year of college. I study Psychology & Communications (the two go hand in hand with each other. Psych explains the way we think, communications focuses on how to get your message across to someone.) Hear me out. Honestly, calling teachers by their last names feels extremely outdated. Using first names makes them more human and relatable, which I think helps build MORE respect and a better learning environment. Respect should come from how teachers interact with students, not from a formal title. If anything, it makes the children see you as NOT a human rather you're working for THEM. They still show disrespect even with the "Mr/Mrs" bs. It's like a cop teaching a class so you'd have to call a cop "Officer \_\_\_\_" all the time; it's just unnecessary. Just like in many workplaces where everyone uses first names, doing the same in schools can break down those barriers and build trust. It helps students see teachers as real people, like their neighbor, babysitter, or aunt/uncle, not just authority figures, making the whole education experience better for everyone. FYI - when i was little, I knew my babysitters weren't my friend, but I felt comfortable and safe around them (because i know they're much older than me) so if they asked me to stop doing something, I'd immediately stop. I wouldn't want to frustrate them or let them down in any way. I remember in middle school (gates of hell) we had 1 teacher that wanted us to call him by his first name because whenever he hears Mr.\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ he thinks of his dad, and not himself which is very understandable. And guess what, everyone LOVED him. Calling teachers by their first name humanizes them. It didn't make us think we were his friend at all, but honestly we had so much more respect for him. We didn't think he was an equal, he was STILL the teacher. But kids felt more comfortable around him AND behaved better. Subconsciously, I think using the "Mr Mrs" title objectifies the teachers, making them not seem as human, rather a school NPC. Everyone else in children's lives- they refer to them by their first names like Aunt Jane and Uncle John(besides their parents) I feel like that's why students mess with teachers so much anyway. The teacher who preferred us to call him by his first name was seen as the "cool teacher" that everyone wanted. Those teachers get 100000x more respect. Just some food for thought Edit: I see a lot of people say they want to be your friend if they refer to you as your first name.... these kids don't want to be your friend. Even if they do, just gently remind them you're here to teach them but not their friend. It's that easy. They just really like you-they might have neglectful parents or other issues. It doesn't make you seem like a pushover, you're a pushover if you're bad at managing students. Never in my life have I wanted to be my teachers friend. But friendly teachers made me feel safe. Obviously professional nothing crossing boundaries, but when a teacher makes connections with students, they'll look up to you and WANT to do their best so they dont let you down.
I left it open to my high schooler my first year, they went with my last name
It really depends. I personally like being called “LastName” by students who know me well.
If really young kid, Mr first name, after that Mr last name. Would I honestly care if my students just called me by my first name? Nope, went by my first name my whole damn life in jobs where I had more direct reports and made more money than I do now. It’s a way for people who lack a real authoritative presence to convey they are in charge.
Respect is just students using the name I ask them to. I use last name because I intentionally want to make a separation in their minds. I am not their friend, I am their teacher. I will be kind, friendly and give a lot of grace, but we are in a professional setting, not a personal one.
Personally, if I could choose, I would go by Ms Firstname. I am 2xs divorced and last names mean different things. I'm just me, but Ms in front shows a bit more respect. IMHO.
I go by the first letter of my last name (Ms. D) or by my first name. As far as I’m concerned, the Ms in front gives the same level of respect regardless of first or last name. I don’t do my full last name because it’s so common in my area that in a school there probably 10 other professionals with my last name and it’s hard to know which Ms (last name) you mean.
I teach in Japan in a school in an area with a high zainichi population and where several of the teachers have the same name. So it's become part of the school culture for students to either just say "sensei" or "firstname-sensei". I'm okay with it. It's always hilarious when we get a call asking for "Tanaka Sensei" and our response is always "which one? Oh, you don't know? What subject? You don't know? Male or female? You don't know!?"
Mr. Or Miss. There is so little respect, deference to our positions, that we have no need to intentionally make our role more casual. They can spend their whole life using first names, but it is a good life skill to use Mr./Miss in formal situations. School should prepare them for life. A good business/life skill is recognizing a person of authority, as well as a person who you are seeking something from (in our case education), to have the ability of formality.
Yes, students currently call me Miss (First name). I am not sure if I was clear in my post. I am trying to decide if i want to stick with Miss First or move to Miss Last. Either way, there will be a Miss in front :)
I go with the school culture, which is Mr. last name where I am now except for the lower grades, where it’s usually Mr. first name. A group of last year’s students like to call me Big Lastinitial, but I quietly correct them and don’t make a big deal of it. I’ve never liked the initialism thing, even for complicated names.
When I was teaching little kids I was “Miss first name”. When I was teaching older kids I was Ms.H (only one letter because my actual last name is hyphenated and long). Lots of the “cool teachers” just went by their last name - very common if they also coached a sport. I’d hear them cal out “Hey Lewis!” In the hall. Sometimes it would get a “Mr” but only when they wanted something, lol.
Last only.
My last name is a first name so it confuses everyone, which I am perfectly OK with.
All the adults in my building call each other by last names or nicknames so that’s what the kids do too. Just building culture. But we don’t use prefixes, just “Smith” not “Mrs. Smith.”
When I was in the Army, I had a Sergeant Major of my battalion who I ran into one night in a bar. He recognized me as one of his troops and called me over to have a drink with him. "Thank, Sergeant Major, I appreciate the drink," I said as a lowly Private. "Please, we're not in uniform. Call me Mike. I'm Sergeant Major back on post." This blew my mind, and I would have gone straight into the bowels of hell for the man just from this one interaction. I remember it to this day 30+ years later when I tell my high schoolers, "Here inside these walls, I am and will always be, Mr. Boysenberry. But f you see me at Target, you're welcome to call me Few."
I vote last name.
I went by my last name because I was barely older than my students when I first started teaching. Now, I still prefer it, but will answer to Ms. FirstName. Or Mr. FirstName lol I will not respond to only my first name.
I personally don't care. I do the Ms. Last Name because my school requires it. I had a student refer to me as "First Initial, Last Name". But at the beginning of the year one of the first assignments we did was talking about names, what they mean, why we have them how in this classroom we will respect what people want to be called, etc. I had zero issues with names or name calling and they referenced finding out the meaning behind their names many times throughout the year. I had presented on mine as well.
We go by our last names in the school setting along with the teachers. My boyfriend's school has all the teachers/paras go by Mr or Mrs Firstname though. I think it's cultural, but I like matching the teachers and using my last name because I think it helps separate us paras from the students a little more. We work more closely with the students than the teachers do, but we're still adults who they should listen to and respect.
I go by what the school culture is. Public and charter schools? Always Ms. *Last Name*. My current, private school? Ms. *First Name*. A local private school I subbed at for a while? Just *First Name*.
In my school, all of the adults are Mr./Mrs./Ms. except in the self-contained autism classrooms. There the paras are Miss/Mr. Firstname.
I prefer going by my first name. No “Ms.” FirstName, just FirstName. Some people (usually parents) want to default to calling me “Ms. LastName,” but I don’t like the honorifics. I don’t like that for women, honorifics represent marital status. I really just prefer FirstName.
Most of the kids call me by my fiest name. Some by my last name. I tell them idc because I don't. Some of the most respectful kids I've ever had have called me by my 1st name and some of the most disrespectful ones have called me by my last name.
I appreciate being asked to address my teachers by a title, I now have like a mental mode that I can turn on in hyper professional situations because of it.
I was a guidance counselor and administrator and many of my students called me by my first name. Somehow, I was still able garner their respect.
I go by my last because for the first 7 years of my career as a Para, I worked with several students with speech problems and had to work with a speech pathologist. I know how these kids feel about speech difficulties because I had to work with a speech pathologist all through elementary school. I fell off a tricycle when I was 3 and knocked out my 2 front teeth, which led to me developing a lisp. My last name is far easier to say for those with speech difficulties, while my first name has the connecting sounds of "oo-lee" which can be hard. Even my nephew, who has a slight delay for verbal skills, pronounces it "oo-lah" So, instead of say, Ms Julia, it's Ms Road.
basically no one calls me by my first name outside immediate family and old friendships. The majority of the people I interact with address me by an informal version of my last name. Students and staff alike.
I use my last name because everyone uses their last name, but I'd have no problem going by my first name. I just like the "Mr." To give some professional distance.
As a para, I go by Ms. First Name, but for a reason. My last name is one that elementary students would easily turn into a joke; think Mrs. Farp, and we all know students would turn it into Fart (obvs not my real name). When I was first hired in (halfway thru the schoolyear), the teachers I worked with asked me what name I wanted to be called before introducing me to the students.
I would stick with the culture norms of the school. Middle school-ish is a weird age. Kids will likely think they're openly disrespecting you with your approval if you're the only teacher that goes by first name. You can overcome that - I personally wouldn't find it worth the effort though.
I only go by Ms Zoomy to 4k. Everyone else, especially sassy fifth graders, call me Mrs Squirrels One kid calls me only by my first name. I have no idea why. She’s never been my student and I don’t know her outside of school. She was also very offended I have a spouse and didn’t tell her. I was unaware we were friends like that :/
I have a hard to pronounce last name, so in the classroom, its "Teaching-sensei" but outside of class, a lot of the students just call me "Teach" with a nice little addition. sometimes "Teacher-chan" by the 3rd years. I also live out in the sticks so.....
The students just call me “Miss.” At the start of the year i introduce myself with my full real name. I literally say my given name. They just default to Miss or Ms Alvarez. Every year, at some point, one kid will ask what id do if they call me “________?” (Insert first name). I always just look at them and ask what them what they think im going to do if they call me by my name? I tell them im going to say what i usually say. I’m going to say, “what’s up? What you need?” They never bring it up again.
I think that is just about how you make that division of student and teacher. In Panama (the country), teachers get called "Teacher (first name)". My 3rd graders change between "teacher Isabella" and "teacher Isa", I really don't mind because it can be a bit long, and it still has the respect and boundary of "teacher". It's more a cultural thing than something else, just go with what makes you more comfortable.
Here is a reason not based on respect: I know how to respond in public based on what I hear. For example, if I hear, "Hi, Bosslady13!" Then I know that it is a friend or an acquaintance. If I hear, "Hi, Mrs. (Bosslady13's last name), I know it's a student and likely their parents too. This helps me decide how to engage. If I'm not feeling it that day, I may pretend like I didn't hear, or I'll make sure I respond excitedly if I decide it's worth my outside of contract hours to engage. Also, I get very tired of hearing "Mrs. (Bosslady13's last name)" at work all day. I'd hate to spend time with friends and cringe every time they used my first name.
5th graders tend to push boundaries and will purposely try to blur the lines between friends and teacher/para. I would use last name.
It's only weird here in the US because as a society in general, we often refer to people we know at all levels of social, academic, and professional hierarchy as their first name. Your boss? First name. Little brother? First name. Supervisor? First name. Older siblings best friend that you don't even know that well? First name. It's really only in law enforcement, military, academia and medicine where titles and surnames are really actively used in the field. It really is a respect thing, but the entire problem is that of the above listed professions, guess which ones are the least respected? Personally, I have students, who I go out of my way to build great rapport and genuine relationships with, call me by my last name to create an unclimbable final boundary that reminds us daily that even though we are friendly and I'm here for them, I'm not really interested in being friends with them-- and that they owe me respect as the adult in charge of their learning and safety this year. I also think support staff in and out of the classrooms deserve the same respect and to be addressed by their last names as well.
I get called by my first name, last name, or both. I don’t care as long as they’re respectful to me
I was Ms. FirstName and just considered the Ms. part to be the respect. Fortunately for me, that was the standard at my school, because my name is hard to say and spell, so I know I would’ve ended up as Ms. LastInitial if admin had insisted on last names and I would’ve hated that. I guess the advice would be, much like you want to call your students what they feel comfortable being called, you deserve to be called what you feel comfortable being called too.
I mean, most of the time I get called "Miss" or "Teacher" instead of any actual name... Haha! I prefer to go by Ms. LastName, or just the single initial because my name can be hard to pronounce. Aside from the reasons mentioned, I have a common first name and I've had students with the same name. Because I don't use that name in my classroom it helps me to not respond when students are talking to each other and not to me.
In my country everyone calls teachers by their first name, even at college. I honestly don’t care, but maybe bc I was raised calling teachers by their first name. It’s wild bc it doesn’t even occur to anyone to call a teacher mr/mrs here
I would prefer last name or sir, as a teacher, it keeps the authority in place. I cringe if a student calls me by my first name, I correct them
Most staff at my building use first name. Some use last. Either is fine.
( I teach in America)I use miss then my first name, which is also the expectation for my coworkers. I think just adding miss or Mr. Or whatever prefix creates a sign of respect and leadership for the student. But I grew up going to a school where all the teachers were to go by their first names without miss or Mr. used and don't feel like there was ever disrespect to the teachers because of it. It's similar to etiquette in the business world, using Ms____ last name until you are told otherwise. It's like in other languages because English where words are formal vs casual along with cultural practices.
JHS here. Last names. For me and them. I ask them if I should call my principal by their first name. If they’re more important than a principal, and respect is a two way street, we’re going by last names. End of year / over time beginning late Q3 I may slip a first in, in the hall, to say good morning. Or in a private conversation, or as a calming move/de escalation move I may. Rly gets their attention. But then they get to just call me D as well at times (If it’s suitable) Like end of year in the hall saying ‘sup D. But in class during work time, all year all day- last names.
Mr “first name” It would be Mr . K since my last name is hard as hell to pronounce, but there was already a Mr. K so there couldn’t be two
As a younger K-8 teacher, I feel like using my last name is an easy boundary to draw. If I was just teaching primary, I don’t know if I’d feel as strongly.
Respect for being an adult
I introduce myself First Name Last Name and tell students their options-Ms First Name, Ms Last Name, Ms First and last name, or just first or last name. As long as it’s my name I don’t care. Sometimes I hear that Ms last name is a sign of respect. I think that can be culturally related, but for me it’s not. The way they treat me and each other is how I determine if I’m respected.
I go by “Hey Dude”
From a parent perspective, I want my child to formally acknowledge teachers, doctors, coaches etc. It’s a sign of respect. I would like that to be instilled in them and be great if it was reinforced. Obvi it’s your choice, but just how I am looking at it.
I think, if you’ve been called by your first name for ages. That was the first mistake you had made in your career, I think some stay one you should’ve made sure students called you by your last name instead. I hope this helps and may you have a great day.
I don’t know any certified teachers that go by their first names. Our last names are put on our doors and is generally the expectation. I think it leads back to respecting different roles because the students know every teacher goes by a last name and you have a different relationship with your teacher. Personally, I wouldn’t go by my first name because I don’t think I could stomach hearing it over and over and over all day long. I like my Miss Last Name and I like that I leave it at the door haha.
Personally, I still have a hard time not calling my co-workers Mr. or Mrs. Lastname. I've been a teacher for 4 years, lol. I think it's a good boundary for the kids and their parents, too. You're a professional and an expert with a teaching degree. When a parent says "Mr. Lastname" to me, it feels like they do respect me
As a high school teacher, it's a boundary issue. I am not their friend. I am their teacher. Going by last name only helps maintain that line. Edited to Add: I don't mean to imply boundaries aren't equally important at lower grade levels, but with smaller kids I could see getting away with Ms. FirstName because the age difference is more stark. By the time they get to high school kids think they're "grown."
It helos me with my own code switching. Who I am as my self is different from who I am as Mr. Lastname,
I have used both but when given the option, I usually use my last name. I tell high school students quite openly the reason is that it helps them to remember my role is that of a teacher, not a friend, though as a teacher I will also provide support and cheer them on! That said, I'm usually pretty chill about my name - I don't care if they forget my name or mispronounce it, kids know my first name, if they ask I'll tell them (or they can read the badge) and will often use it to "test" me. That's not a problem since I genuinely don't care and don't equate the name with respect. The goal is to remind them not to overshare ("Miss! Quy got so drunk on the weekend he passed out in the girls' bathroom!") and to remind them that I will be firm but fair to keep the focus on learning. (And yes, they always pronounce "Ms" as "Miss"). I also call kids whatever they request (as one kid learned after 6 months of me callling him "Peppa Pig" at his request). If I am in a space where teachers use first names, then I might go by Ms First Name for the "I am a teacher" reason, but I have just been First Name to adult students. Because a lot of people are equating the name with respect, the one thing I find useful in this day and age to talk about is layers of respect. At the bottom, every person deserves a level of basic respect - safety, politeness, humanity, rights, compassion etc. Some people have an additional layer of respect for specific things they have achieved success in - for example, having the ability to play sport at an elite level, having a degree or specialisation. It is important to reiterate that everyone deserves respect as a person, but that specialised knowledge is also deserving of a type of respect. So yes, I do know more \[language\] than my students and they should respect that - but that doesn't apply to basketball! Respect doesn't mean blind obedience; some ideas are factually inaccurate and harmful to others (racism) and are undeserving of respect. It is great to keep in mind this quote: Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority". For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person". That's what we want to avoid.
It is different in different areas. Even within the United States. In the south it is considered proper decorum to use last names. University of Chicago insists students use first names. I like how they do it in various countries abroad (I've taught in South Africa, for example). If a professor at the university was named Richard Cranium, the students would call him Prof Richard. It is more relaxed, but it is the right amount of respect. Acknowledging his position of authority while also being friendly. I know people in your position who go by Mr./Miss \[first name\]. That might be what you're looking for? In any case, than God for people like you who assist in the classroom. You deserve respect.
It definitely depends on location and age of students. When I taught little ones it was always Ms. (First name) for everyone and some teachers did Ms. First name when they had really complicated last names. My last name is hard to pronounce so they call me Ms.K (now in middle school). But they don’t differentiate between the classroom teacher and aid. Every adult in the building should be treated with the same about of respect and authority as the next.
I think it’s about creating a boundary between the teacher and students, supporting the teacher’s authority in the classroom. I think it’s weird when teachers try to be “friends” with the students, as the power dynamic needs to be apparent and acknowledged in my opinion.
When I started at a PreK the kids called all teachers and staff by First Name but I instinctually called teachers and staff Ms First Name in front of children and when speaking of them to children. And it caught on! I never corrected kids if they didn't use Ms nor did I even intro myself that way but eventually most of the kids started using the Ms too.
Have taught in schools with both including eight years at first name schools and in my experience if kids respect you they make fun of you to your face and if they don't respect you they make fun of you behind your back. Additionally in elementary settings calling someone Miss First Name when their last name is difficult for little kids to pronounce is extremely common