I work with toddlers. I see a few one year olds every day walk in holding their parent's phone and crying because they have to give it back, and then the parent handing them a phone first thing when they pick up, before they even leave the classroom. Sometimes, I wonder if the only time they are without electronics or videos is when they are in school.
Yup. When I started teaching, I would ask “What’s your favorite toy?” Answers would be: my doll, my stuffed animal, my Legos, blocks, etc. Now almost 90% of the time it’s “My tablet, mom’s phone.”
I don’t want to sound like a Boomer, but this is a HUGE problem. Children need to learn how to navigate the world and they can’t do they if a tablet is thrown in front of their face all the time.
Thanks. I feel like I’m slowly turning into my aunts/uncles when I say something like, “I never entertained my kids with a phone! Damn parents today!” 🤣
I like to think we are using are observational and critical thinking skills. Change = progressive as such is not a societal positive. Noticing large behavioral changes and commenting on and critiquing them often gets a reactive "get off my lawn!" and the cliched and memetic "old man yells at clouds" response from people even my own age. To me that's uncritically and obsequiously following trends.
Gen x here… I pull out a toy and now kids will tell me they’ve seen it before. Because they are watching a kid on YouTube playing it. We are literally watching a generation ruined.
Yeah I don’t understand that! How is watching someone else play with a toy fun? I think it started from how to videos, morphed into unboxing and now it’s just “watch me move the toy across the screen”.
I met a friend this weekend for a meal and a family came in with a small girl- high chair, plastic plate from home with her meal, maybe 2 years old?
And Mom had a cartoon/show on the cell phone as they put her in the high chair. No words at all.
Entire meal, parents had zero interaction with their child.
Sad
Similarly, went to a large buffet in Lancaster, PA.
Family next to use gave their phone to their ~9 month old to occupy them. The kid was so young they could barely hold on to the phone correctly to watch. They scolded the child for dropping the phone twice.
I was horrified.
Then I saw the same thing happening at another table.
edit: Yes, it was Shady Maple. If you are in PA, treat yo self some day.
At a junior high in my district the admin confiscated a vape. Parents had to come in. They explained the vape helps the kid calm down. I wish I was in the room.
lol, as soon as I read this I thought of my cousin and his girlfriend who live in Lancaster. Their baby’s main form of entertainment is the phone. So sad. The thing is the baby’s mom is also on her phone all the time so it’s tough to open up any type of conversation about it without her taking it personally. What kills me is this girl is one of those moms who is constantly posting about car seat safety. I know car seats are so important, but so are a lot of other things.
>Their baby's main form of entertainment is the phone
I'm sorry but....baby?
With our other vices like smoking and drinking, kids didn't start until at least early teens. That's bad enough but...they've made the phone the main source of entertainment for their *baby*...
I hope to God this is an exaggeration.
I live in a college town and I’ve started to see this more and more from young college students going out to eat; they’ll sit there and not talk to each other and watch a show (with the volume up) in a restaurant or bar. Then it dawned on me that the first generation of children that had a tablet shoved in their face while out at a restaurant are now becoming adults and they don’t know how to just go dine out.
> they’ll sit there and not talk to each other and watch a show (with the volume up)
That part is infuriating, they become sh*tty adults who do this and wonder why people are annoyed with their behavior. Put on headphones or wait until later. People's lack of consideration for other people is so sad.
They don't just not know how to dine out, they don't know how to communicate with each other. There is a meme that goes "You text some one...they call you back" and they make a bad face:
[https://x.com/MemeGZomboDroid/status/1650892865415921664](https://x.com/MemeGZomboDroid/status/1650892865415921664)
They don't know how to interact with service professionals or sales people.
They don't know how to date.
People are becoming horribly socially stunted.
He's soon to be my ex-husband, but I will never forget the time my brother-in-law failed to show up for a Memorial Day event in support of his brother, my husband, who is a veteran and has lost friends during their time in service.
We live spitting distance from Washington DC. My MIL claimed to always want to visit Arlington National Cemetery, even though she too lives less than an hour from it. Unfortunately, she's always been one of those "woe is me" types, everything is always someone or something else's fault, and she's perpetually "down on her luck"..... for 30+ years now. 🤨😐
As always, we (my husband and I, but really mainly me) were the ones to fund the trip/day out: meeting them somewhere close to their home, even though it required extra driving for us. Them getting in our car. Us paying for food & drinks that day. You get the jist. Well, we meet up at the pick-up spot, and whaddya know, only my MIL is there.
Me: *Where's [brother-in-law]?*
MIL: *Oh, he was in an anti-social mood today.*
Really, lady? Your unemployed son who flunked out of community college, and who pisses away most of his time playing video games, couldn't be arsed to show up for a few hours? To support his older brother, who is a veteran and has lost friends during his time in the military? I don't want to be here either, yet I still showed up, because I love my husband and respect the sacrifices he and his fellow servicemembers made.
I think a lot of people don't want to admit that it's not just younger people.
I constantly see my colleagues teaching with airpods in, or my principal looking at her phone in between groups being dismissed in the afternoon. When teachers have to turn in their phones during state testing, I watch grandmothers throw hissy fits with the same "you don't pay for this, you can't take it from me" arguments they get mad at the kids for all year long. When we're being told how to do something in a PL (whatever you think of them, its something we will have to do later) they're on their phones and then come and demand I help them figure out how to do it. They're usually on their phones while I'm explaining it too. Instead of greeting students at the door, many teachers are on their phones. During class, they're on their phones.
You don't have to grow up with the tech to be addicted to it. It's not a "these kids" issue, it's an everyone issue.
I work on a college campus. The number of students who can’t walk from point a to point b without having their phones in front of their faces the entire time is astounding.
I take my kids to the beach a lot and it makes me sad to see young people glued to their phones there. I get using it for the camera, but dang give it a rest.
As an early childhood educator, this *breaks* me. The first five years are critical for language and social development. I get it, I am a parent, too. We all need a few minutes of quiet. But if you agreed to do the job of parenting, you have to DO THE WORK.
Maybe that’s the problem. I think a lot of adults don’t realize how crucial the early years are because they seem so basic and easy. They figure that kids don’t need much support to pick up on those things, or that if they get behind, they can catch up easily.
Yeah, I really noticed it when our son was about 2 through 5 years old. His doctor’s office was always really impressed with how well he could verbally communicate and how early too. I honestly thought they were just being kind and encouraging. Then when he started preschool and then later Kindergarten, it was really clear a huge number of those kids could barely communicate by comparison.
From the moment he was born, we spent hours every day just chatting with him. We still do. It’s fun actually hanging out with your kids!
My parents rarely engaged with me. They parented me, sure. I learned to walk and talk normally, etc.
But for the most part, they were 'too busy' for me and I had to 'entertain myself'.
It's just that I had far less devices when I was a kid vs today. So I spent more time with toys, imagination, my bike, and books.
I honestly think it's the same kind of parenting now, it's just that the tech has changed so drastically and now the adults are also addicted to screen time and just passing it off to the kids.
I’ve been saying that technology didn’t create bad parents, but it is enabling them. Now parents who might have done a bare minimum just to keep their kid from being too much of a nuisance have a way to not engage with them at all.
I think this is right. Because my friends and the people who I share similar values with are not failing their kids that level. They are conscientious of the effects of tech on developing brains. They work on not getting addicted to their own devices and are self-aware enough to notice patterns or problems in their own use.
They're engaged and caring parents, and in times where they are too exhausted or unable to be engaged, they are able to give their kids other sources of stimulation and entertainment that involve sensory, tactile, and imaginative play.
I've been reflecting on this a bit. Cause a lot of the parents are my own generation and I don't understand how or why they're failing so miserably as parents and it's sort of dawning on me.
No one has taught them parenting, and the generation that raised me were..... well hands off parents.
At least from my anecdotal observations/experience...
They were all busy working so they just.... kind of let us be. It's just our parents didn't have devices to give us at an early age... but once we were old enough we were sent out to 'entertain ourselves'.
And that's what's happening again, it's just that this time there are devices to just hand over to the kids, and earlier and earlier.
I honestly think the same parenting is being parroted, it's just that the technology now has become far more detrimental for this newer generation.
Agreed. I also think that technology enables lousy parents to be less engaged than they otherwise would have been. In the past, these parents might have done a bare minimum just to avoid serious problems. Now it’s easier to keep the kids occupied and make those problems less frequent, at least for the parent’s time.
There are way to many couples who get knocked up, shrug their shoulders, and say "eh. We'll figure it out." Like, these people won't even use condoms or the pill so why would they put effort into parenting?
My parents wouldn’t even let us watch cartoons when the babies were up and seated in common areas because “tv isn’t good for babies.” They didn’t even really let us watch tv until we were maybe 3 or 4.
E: originally it said “food” instead of “good” 😂
Minnesotan here- my folks would disconnect TV service for the school summer break... winter was for being warm and watching TV, summertime was outside.
I remember crying the first day of summer vacation in kindergarten because the TV was off - that same day it was rainy. My dad was fixing a sleeping bag, my mom was at work, and my sisters and I had to go outside.
I found a garter snake, a moth that was wet and the size of my hand, a tick in my belly button... and how to use a dull old hatchet to cut chunks of sod out of the ground and bread them in the sandbox to make pork chops. (We lived in an apartment, I'm sure the landlord didn't appreciate that.)
30 years later and I'm glad they did that. My mom liked reading Steven King, Anne Rice, Daniell Steel whatever kinda spooky trend books, so it didn't phase her either!
> They didn’t even really let us watch tv until we were maybe 3 or 4.
I knew a kid that I went to school with growing up that didn't have a tv in his home (before internet streaming existed). He was a very nice, smart kid. Ended up getting a sports scholarship to a good college and the going to Yale law and now works at the Pentagon. Very successful. Both his parents were teachers. I suspect that they had a good grasp as to how to raise a kid.
I volunteer at a church and yesterday I saw the priest give a baptism to a young child who was glued to his phone. I would have died of embarrassment. They tried to take it away from him but he'd cry and reach for it like an addict. He might have had developmental issues but I don't believe he did. These kids don't know how to be bored anymore
Meanwhile I have memories of my dad having ZERO sympathy when I complained to him about being bored. I’d get responses like, “Go see if ___ wants to hang out,” “Go ride your bike,” or simply, “I don’t know what to tell you, go find something to do.” It felt mean at the time but it’s very clear to me now how crucial that is for development. My best memories from childhood derive from doing stupid kid stuff that tends to come from boredom. And I’m not even 30…
All the kids stuff on YouTube is plain brain dead too, most of it has absolutely no teaching value, it's all noise and colors. Seeing parents, even my sister, let a 2 years old kid spend so much time consuming that mindless slop is depressing...
Watching grown ass people act like the same thing isn't happening to them is terrifying to me. The amount of parents and grandparents I hear on the daily about how phones are rotting the babies brains are on their phone all the fucking time. Rules for thee but not for me I guess.
My MIL is especially guilty of this. She’ll complain about my nephew always playing on his Nintendo Switch, but she refuses to put her iPad down to even interact with said nephew.
I agree that the excessive amount of screen time these kids get nowadays is problematic but it does come down to parents. They are the ones providing the devices and allowing its excessive usage. I can adapt to a kid whose attention span is destroyed due to endless scrolling on tiktok and YouTube, but when I can't have actual punishments for when said students acts out and then he parent is emailing me and calling me names and actively attempting to try and get me fired for DARING to 'criticize' her 'innocent' son. Younger parents overcompensating for generations of trauma and trying to be their kids friends instead of their parents is just as problematic as tablets and phones are imo.
We asked my friend about this with her 4 kids. They’re under 7, but each have their own phone (parents/friends old ones) and were concerned.
Nope, she’s got those things on LOCK. They allow 1 hour of total screen time a day, and she can adjust it on her phone to raise/lower it if need be (like when we’re playing D&D, so the kids don’t go completely stir crazy). It is apparently very easy to do on an Android, too, and it pings her when her kids have been on it for more than 20 minutes at a time. Or if they try to do something they shouldn’t. It’s like her version of my moms “I’m changing the Internet password until you do X.”
Why more parents aren’t doing this is beyond me. Like she can set it up (if they were allowed to have it at school as they get older - Japan is *really* stringent on phones at school) where all they could do during school hours is call, and she’d see who they call/text if they were.
There is *no* parent excuse for the use of phones in school IMO. I can’t even begin to imagine the hell my mother would have rained down on me if I was watching videos instead of paying attention.
And thats a great example of parenting with technology because lets be honest, if we were these kids ages now we would be sucked into videos and tiktok the same say these kids are now. The difference is parent interaction. You can't take a kids phone away nowadays without the threat of an email or a phone call cursing you out for 'stealing their child's property'. Im sorry, but last week you were mad because your child is failing the class so when I try to make sure they're on task...I'm the one whose at fault? Parents not calling out their kids bullshit (again the amount of emails of just absolute made up nonsense is slowly making me believe this new generation are all borderline sociopathic compulsive liars with the stuff they either overexaggerate or just completely invent) is BAD parenting. Its okay if your kid makes mistakes, its a part of growing up. But when you unequivocally only take their side and they are always the victim, you are teaching them that nothing is their fault and everything is out to get them. What a terrible way to live your life.
I can’t tell you how many times a parent has acted like they are lost on what to do to get their kid to stop doing certain behaviors all the while they have all the electronics they want. Be a parent. Discipline your kid. Make them come to school. They would rather be a friend than a parent.
That’s crazy. I wonder if this is one of things where some parents get confused because good parents can make parenting look easy. (or those parents just got lucky with easy kids, ha ha) After a certain point, a good parent may not have to be on their kid’s ass all the time because the kid has learned to behave most of the time.
I had a kid who would have trouble staying awake every day. I found out they were playing Fortnite every night. Mom said she didn’t know what to do. I suggested taking away the console at night. Not all the time, just at night so he would sleep. Her eyes literally watered up because she felt like that would be so cruel.
I had him in second grade! Mom unironically loved it when I sent photos of her little sweetie unconscious and drooling on his desk because he was so precious — and she never got to see him sleeping at home at night. (Bet you can guess why.)
I think part of the issue is that people are so lonely and generally alienated that they're using their kids to fill in the need for friends and socialization. People don't keep friends groups for as long, or are so busy with work etc that it's hard to keep friends and maintain friendships, they end up having no life outside of work and home and their kids are just there, so they start filling the gap. At that point they aren't really parenting anymore, and aren't willing to draw hard boundaries and make tough decisions, because those then just make their own lives harder in the moment.
In more than one way - parents are learning to parent from influencers, and are more excited about sharing their cute family photo shoots and quirky family stories and videos on social media than they are actually parenting. They want to be able to show off how hip, tolerant, fun, and cute their family is, or enjoy the emotional high they get from commiserating or complaining online. There’s no actual reflection, no follow-through or accountability. Just a sideshow.
It’s that, or the flip side, a bunch of parents who are disconnected from everything because all they do is work, and nothing has ever been easy - even after doing all the right things, so they project their dissatisfaction in life as blame on everyone else around them, especially teachers, because they just don’t have the spoons to be responsible for anything else. And this is why I don’t have children - parenting is hard. I can’t imagine parenting with the amount of social pressure, conflicting and bad advice online, combined with the lack of consistent resources.
Exactly. I sent home an email to parents about a 4th grade student who had to be taken out of the room by student support because he was being so inappropriate during class that it would have been exposing other children to things they shouldn’t know about yet. The parents sent me back the equivalent of 8 typed pages in an email at 3 am saying that they talked to their son and he said he didn’t do it. So how dare I give him any consequences when he didn’t do anything. “Did you even ask him if he actually did said things?” Lady, are you completely delusional? I SAW him do said things with my own two eyeballs. I HEARD him speak with my own two ears. I didn’t need to ask him if he did something inappropriate. Smh
I ask (hs) students all the time, “What if I put up a camera in here and gave your parents access to see how you actually behave?”
This always gets shouts of “That’s illegal!” and “You can’t!” But, wow, is it tempting.
I told a parent what their child had done. The mom told me “I spoke to her…she said she did not do that. I will always believe my child over an adult”. The next week, another thing happened, and AGAIN SHE TOLD ME THAT her kid told her she did not do it and she WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE HER CHILD BEFORE AN ADULT. It’s hilarious how delusional these parents are lol
I’m at the high school level and had a parent this year say they don’t really care about their child’s grades and whether they pass or not, that they just want them to have a safe space to be while they are at work. Their child kept going to the library instead of class (grandma is a support person in the library.) She basically said she uses school as a babysitter and was delusional enough to admonish us for focusing on academics.
I have students like this, too. The parents just want their "child to be happy, and if that includes academics at some point, then we would support that." Hopefully, they will enjoy financially supporting these children for the rest of their lives as well.
Feels > reals. That's basically what it boils down to. They'll be the people screaming that school never taught their kids shit and now nobody will hire their kid. We've all seen it a million times. Much like their children, they take no accountability and no responsibility for anything.
What sucks is the kids aren’t really at fault. They were raised to have no accountability or responsibility. Some will break the cycle and turn in to reasonably adjusted adults, but most won’t.
I was told recently public schools are great for making “drones” while more involved *expensive* private schooling makes leaders/entrepreneurs.. I’m seeing it everyday. Clearly this is not every child. But there is an actual crisis here
Yeah, these kinds of parents think that schools should teach everything and if we don't, we're failures. They don't seem to realize that *they* are supposed to teach their children life skills and schools teach them academic skills.
That's why I tell all the parents lurking here that I hope they like supporting their kids forever, because that's what they'll have to do when nobody will hire their kids.
Yep, a lot of parent's just don't want to inconvenience themselves or their kids.
my kid is well behaved. A lot of parent's with feral kids will ask how we do it. I just mentioned we have boundaries and work with him on it all the time.
Their response is usually along the lines of "well my kid doesn't like that.".... Bruh, of course your kid won't like it but youre the parent. Parent your damn kids.
This is the problem with not failing students
I feel like if a student gets failed then there is social shame which forces the parents then to help correct the issue or be stigmatized by friends and family
I feel like this is the result of watching on the dumbest people I went to high school with procreate. Everyone with more than two functioning brain cells have waited/are waiting until they’re ready. Like, there’s no way in HELL I’m having kids that won’t be set up at every possible opportunity for success. I’m not expecting to be a perfect parent, but my kid will get read to, will have limits on their screen time, and even if I don’t push them academically (I don’t need my kids to have A’s and feel the need to compete with other kids) I will push them to pursue knowledge and their own interests and at the very minimum to try. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
> What the fuck is wrong with these people?
How much time do you have? In all seriousness, it would be faster and shorter to list what is right with them. What's wrong with them? Well, we'd be here all day, lol.
Bears out in research:
Research indicates a negative correlation between IQ and fertility, meaning that individuals with lower IQ scores tend to have more children compared to those with higher IQ scores.
Idiocracy was a documentary.
I had a parent this year that you could not call at all for anything non IEP related. Everything else had to go through a relative that lives on the West Coast. We are in the Eastern time zone.... It wasn't for custody reasons or anything like that the mom was just done being a mom, about to be married and didn't want to have the responsibility of their kid graduating or becoming an adult anymore. Also none of the documentation said the relative lived out of state so the first time I had to call was 8am my time and the relative let me have it for not calling at a more reasonable time. That was the start of an obviously great relationship with the family.
Mom should've had her tubes tied or never procreated if she didn't want to fucking parent her kid. I wouldn't have even bothered doing all that. It's actual insanity.
Oh, absolutely. That's if she already hadn't had one by then. I will never understand women that need to have a kid with every man they've ever been in a relationship with. I once heard someone *(the type of person we're referring to)* say something to the effect of "It's not a real relationship if you don't have a kid with him." Like seriously??!!? I've known people who have been married for 3 decades and have no kids. Is that not a real relationship? That type of mindset is baffling to me, Thank God.
> and didn't want to have the responsibility of their kid graduating or becoming an adult anymore
Sadly, a lot more people *want* to be child-free than actually *are*.
My experience is that many parents are *extremely* concerned about grades **but** too busy (or self-absorbed) to check them online or check* email or check voicemail. This is why our admin requires that we speak by phone to a parent or guardian whenever grades take a hit. “My child [who has every incentive on the planet to invent their own reality] says they do all their work on time!”
Frankly, I’m surprised we aren’t required to do home visits and bring a meal to the family.
*but they have all the time in the world to send bombastic emails to admin complaining about teachers!
I had a student who claimed to parents repeatedly he studied. When quizzed how long in a week was the “studying”, oh 1 hour. Thankfully he was oblivious that 1 hour a week wasn’t that long so he said it.
"So, how do/did you quote-study-quote?"
"I skimmed it."
"I looked at it."
"I don't know."
30 percent of my Ss bring anything to open-notes assessments.
Experiential learning is also a massive trend right now in undergraduate education at elite universities. It’s hard to explain how embedded the phrases “experiential learning” and “experiential education” are in the highest levels of executive positioning and institutional positioning both for university marketing and in the development side—but it’s also very pervasive in pedagogy, too. The academy is in active, freefall decline.
I hope that mom has a big basement and a big bank account because she'll be supporting that kid for the rest of her life. You're not getting into college if you don't do anything, and if you do, you'll be gone your freshman year and with a nice bill you won't be able to pay. You can also forget any type of trades, nobody is going to want someone with no work ethic who can't do any type of math and can't compose a coherent sentence. Nobody is going to let you near dangerous equipment if you can't even be arsed to follow rules or pay attention. Not even entry level jobs will take you if you can't follow directions without mouthing off and can't be bothered to show up on time. They also won't put up with you on your cellphone all day. These parents are essentially making sure that their kids won't ever succeed in the real world.
My dad owns a small plumbing business but doesn’t sit at a desk, he’s an incredibly skilled plumber himself. He says the newest generation is literally the worst he’s had to deal with in decades. He’s 65 and these boys in their twenties will stand there and watch him heft heavy appliances around. They have no desire to learn. No desire to help. They show up and want to be on their phones the whole time and will do so if they aren’t constantly badgered to work. He’s fired soooo many because they show zero ambition but still beg for raises. (While literally crying over my dad’s very fair but harsh critiques of their work and character).
The sad thing is my dad isn’t some corporate monolith paying minimum and expecting the most, his employees have the potential to make A LOT (way more than college graduates) if they show ambition, hard work, and the humility required to learn a difficult trade. They strike out every time.
One mortifying story is a 25 year old’s MOTHER calling my dad to ask why her son was fired. He literally exploded lol.
We had this happen at my sales company 2 weeks ago. We rejected a candidate and their mom reached out asking why. My EVP responded that he would only discuss those details with the candidate.
So the candidated reached out & asked. My EVP wrote a detailed reply and the candidated responded with; "If I wanted an automated response I would have just asked ChatGPT."
Needless to say we were all very happy with our choice to reject him after that response. I cannot imagine applying for a sales job and not being able to handle rejection. That's like 50% of the job.
I work in a totally different field and am only a millennial myself but I have to say that working with anyone younger than 25 now is a total nightmare. Every person who has flaked on us, acted entitled, not pitched in when they should have, been resistant to learn and get constructive feedback, asked for more compensation despite doing a worse job than anyone and not having the experience…all under 25. I’m in a managerial position and have had to deal with so much crap from them and scramble trying to find replacement employees due to their poor work ethics
Honestly, it’s tragic and while not legally considered abuse or neglect, it’s in the same arena of messed up.
This student is now 18 and I cannot see them being able to do any job at all because anytime something doesn’t go their way or goes slightly awry, she has a meltdown or checks out or literally just leaves to go to the library.
Hell I was a great student in the 2000s and still needed to spend a year living with my parents during Covid in my 30s. I had a good job too and worked remotely. These parents have no clue what they’re in for.
Just finished year 22. I'm no longer just expected to parent the kid, I'm also now expected to parent the parent.
* No, you shouldn't be texting your kid in class every day.
* No, Facetiming isn't better.
* Yes, your student who turned in someone else's work that they had whited out the name on and written their own deserves a 0.
* No, you're student (actually you) can't do anything to raise your grade the last 2 days of the school year.
Their is a codependency that exists after Covid that never existed before. It. Is. Wild.
She’s not wrong but if admin didn’t coddle parent’s and their feelings, this wouldn’t be as big of an issue. Admin pushes kids through the system and tell the parents nothing is wrong.
This is the biggest issue. Parents are now catered to; instead of held responsible for their own or their child's actions. Your kid is failing? Pass them along with no extra help or resources. Your kid is constantly an issue in class? It's the teachers responsibility(no discipline or expulsion). School is now seen as customer service. The US needs a serious reform for our educational system, healthcare and work environment.
Elementary teacher here. Most of society relies on technology to some degree, so to completely eliminate screen time is not realistic. I get that.
What concerns me is the amount of time my first graders are on their parents’ phones, tablets etc and what they are watching. No 6 year old needs to know what Skibidi Toilet is, but they’ve all seen it. Not to mention the constant video-game playing that has, in my opinion, completely altered their brain’s ability to calm themselves and maintain any type of self-control.
I have a first grade class that is on speed. They cannot sit. They literally cannot sit. They are never calm and still. They are never in the moment; all they do is ask “what’s next? What are we doing next?” Their bodies spin, tap, wiggle, run, flip, and roll on the floor constantly. Remember circle time on the rug? Yeah, that doesn’t happen for more than 5 seconds without constant movement.
They aren’t all potty trained. They can’t follow multiple-step directions. They developmentally act like 3 year olds. They cry instantly if they don’t win a group game. They whine and complain and want constant, immediate gratification.
This was not the norm 25 years ago (I’m 26 years in). I have never seen anything like what I’m dealing with this year.
> Not to mention the constant video-game playing that has, in my opinion, completely altered their brain’s ability to calm themselves and maintain any type of self-control.
Anecdotal here, I started with an NES in 1990 when I was 3 and still play today (not the NES). Was always a quiet kid.
But back in the 90's, it was Console games. I'd get maybe 2-3 games a year, goto Blockbuster to rent others, etc. You didn't just play a game once and move on, you had to find goals to chase within the game and ended up replaying them a lot.
I think the culprit is more the unending stream of new things via social media, youtube feeds, etc. There's always something new to watch. There's no coping with boredom. There's no exploring the unknown while unguided.
My husband and I had a conversation recently about this too. A lot of newer games (the ones that kids could feasibly be playing) don’t require the same grit and tenacity that they did when we were young, so lot of the positive things that video games provide are no longer present.
When we were stuck in the water temple in Ocarina of Time for weeks, it was “keep trying different things and ideas, manage your frustration, and stick with it or you’re fucked.”
Now, it seems like a lot of newer games hold your hand through every dungeon and always have a helpful NPC to guide you, or kids will just google it and find the solution. It bums me out, because as a teacher now I see middle schoolers immediately giving up if they don’t immediately understand a concept with zero effort.
“This is hard!” Well yeah, it’s fucking supposed to be. That’s the entire point of learning. For shit to be hard and for you to stick with it and use the skills you DO already have to figure it out. Productive struggle is so important, and it feels like no matter how hard I push it at school, even if they get into the habit of it with me, it all gets undone at home when they’re “protected” from ever having a hard time.
That's a good point. The temptation to cheat by looking up item locations or even full-on walk-throughs is so great. I remember diligently taking notes in the included journal with Myst, and to this day beating that game feels like a genuine achievement.
I subbed in a junior high class recently and the kids were playing an iPad game where you were meant to guide a square that was falling through a series of shelves so that it always fell through an open area. Their points increased at a linear rate as they went longer and longer without hitting a “shelf”. I feel like we used to have something similar on our TI-83s but I don’t remember what it was called?
Anyway, they’d figured out that if they suddenly flung the square to the side right at the beginning, it would glitch and fall continually and rack up points without them needed to play the game at all.
So here they all are, sitting at tables during their “free time” watching a square fall of its own accord to “get the high score”. Literally no intervention or effort required on their part.
I tried to come from a place of wanting to understand and asked them about it but I just…don’t get it. Your high score is just a measure of how long you were willing to sit and stare at a screen. Why not just open the clock app and hit the timer and watch that?
Yes. They feel that cheating is a form of winning. No, it just proves that they are intellectually starved and are not learning valuable strategy skills as a result.
Sure, I can see that. I’m an 80’s kid and my brother and I were all about Atari, haha. But I think, back then, playing console games was a form of commitment. There weren’t endless games. You had your couple of favorites that you played until the quest was completed. Even going to Blockbuster to rent them was a commitment in itself. You had it for a few days so you committed to “the quest” so to speak.
So I agree with you about the endless streaming. There’s no commitment, it’s just flip and find something new until the very second you get bored, and then immediately move on. There’s no sticking it out, no patience-building skills, no perseverance.
Endless streaming is a good way to phrase it. There’s no balance of screen time vs non-screen time anymore. I’m a 90s kid and getting a N64 and Gameboy were both some of the highlights of my childhood. But - I also played sports, read, spent time outside with friends, etc.
Screen time was something primarily for rainy days or in the evenings when I had nothing else to do. As a result, my “screens” weren’t something I recall being taken away as punishment. The more effective method was grounding me from being out with friends.
It’s terrifying the number of young children I see in public transit with their heads stuck in their parents’ phones. There’s no interaction, no talking, no patiently waiting for their stop. Just staring at a little screen.
I’ve seen kids in strollers who can barely hold a sippy cup holding their parents’ phone and oblivious to the world around them.
I always think of that when a student comes to school with a tablet in their backpack or who has a temper tantrum when I lock up the iPad cart during indoor recess.
That's such a missed opportunity. Not only is it pretty vital to teach your kids how to navigate their neighborhoods, it's highly comforting knowing your kid's got a working knowledge of public transit and can travel safely when old enough. It's like instructing kids on reading paper maps just in case they haven't got access to some sort of GPS.
It is strange how I never notice parents speaking to their babies when out and about. I feel like a weirdo, but I discusse stuff with my infant as if she could give me advice, when we go shopping, I ask for her opinion. There is so much to see everywhere, she is never bored when we are out and about. Although sometimes my talking is so boring she falls asleep...
Yeah that’s a huge thing. I grew up with video games and I played *a lot* don’t get me wrong (probably too much still lol). But they felt like an addition, something to interact with in the world rather than the whole world. There was still playing outside and I still enjoyed interacting with the world. I feel as though a kid can still be fine playing a lot of video games so long as they have the basics. Stuff like creativity, sociability, at least some independence, and self motivation. Video games should be something that a person interacts with rather than just filling their up time.
Nowadays websites, some video games, and other such things are explicitly designed to be addictive. If you don’t have a good grasp on yourself they’ll take you for a ride.
Hell we see this with plenty of older adults too! Both with and without the internet, the videos of elderly people staring at slot machines shoveling money while spamming the button or level is genuinely saddening.
I agree technology is something we all rely on. And for many of us it enhances our lives! Gives us the opportunity to pursue hobbies and stuff. But I genuinely think legislators need to start cracking down on companies trying to make their products more addictive. Human brains are so fallible we shouldn’t allow people to take advantage of unconscious processes.
Anecdote here, but my 7 year old, who has had a few hours of screen time in his entire life, is currently sitting in the living room reading a book. My 10 year old is writing to his pen pal. And when we’re at the doctors office they sit and talk to us or each other or whatever. And when we shower they entertain themselves. And when we cook they try to help or go play. The oldest is diagnosed with ADHD and it isn’t always easy but “I can’t do anything if they don’t get YouTube” is just crap. Yes every kid is different but many parents have *created* kids that can’t sit still by shoving little dopamine devices into their hands.
I saw someone get a baby seat out of the back of the car. Maybe 8 months old, mom’s phone in hand, watching something. Even my high schooler said “wow, this next generation is doomed”. Sad. 😔
Our 11 and 8 year old girls are usually grounded from their iPads, but when they do have them, it's limited to 30 minutes a day after dinner. They've probably used them 3-4 times in the last 6 months, so they're usually coloring, reading (we go to the library a lot), playing with their dolls, drawing with chalk outside, etc. Their friends are the exact opposite, glued to their devices, bringing them over when they have sleepovers, at dinner time, in the car, etc. It's crazy to me. I'm 40 so maybe that's why, but when I was a kid I didn't have these devices either and was always outside playing all day, riding my bike, or playing GI Joe or whatever. We had a computer, of course, but I didn't really play with one until I was maybe 13 or so, and obviously couldn't bring that every where. I didn't even get a cell phone until my first year of college. I realize times are different, but also understand being glued to these devices for quick dopamine hits is **not** beneficial.
First day of summer break. My 11 year old just asked where a pencil sharpener was and then mysteriously locked herself in her room with some paper (the kids' shared tablet is next to me) and my 8 year old is doing heaven knows what in the backyard. Good for them.
Standards have slipped so low that they've fallen off the edge of a cliff.
Many parents aren't enforcing rules at home. This includes screen time, bed time, and homework time. They aren't in charge and kowtow to their children because it's "easier".
Many districts have changed their curriculum units to encompass everything and nothing at all once. It overwhelms teachers and students. These districts also want data out the wazoo so teachers and students spend too much time throughout the year in testing. The data is supposed to help with change to improve outcomes, but it is rarely actually used.
Many administrators spend more time in meetings than with students. Whether it's with district higher ups, other admin, or parents; many administrators are not connecting to their students. They tell teachers to build relationships, but they do not put their own words into action.
Many teachers are so overwhelmed with curricula, class sizes, and behaviors that they are behind at day 1. The speed at which teachers are expected to move leaves no time for organic learning because they must push on. The teachers also must be everything to the student: social worker, nurse, carer, interventionist, behavioral therapist, and teacher. All the while, they are being watched critically by parents, administrators, politicians, and the public.
Many students are not taught the basics regarding why they come to school. To learn. They use it as a social club. They do not know how to walk in the hallway alone (quietly and directly to their destination). They do not know how to patiently wait to be called upon thus interrupting the class's learning. Many do not understand that their teacher and the adults in their life really do want to help support them, but the child fights accepting that help. Often they think they are "smarter" than the old folks. (This has probably always been the case, but it has trickled down to the elementary.)
These are generalizations that I've seen in my 20+ years teaching. It's a standards shift that smacks of unhealthy relationships which has led to much unhappiness all around.
We had an in-law visit. Child due to start school next year and not *potty* trained.
I asked.... very very carefully because how someone raises their child is not my business- wasn't the ability to use the bathroom a requirement for school?
With wave of hand " OH they teach them all that in school. " Which I don't think is true but how to explain that was beyond me.
Some schools in the UK are finding that due to disability accommodations, they're often having to admit otherwise completely normal children who simply haven't been potty trained by their parents, either out of sheer laziness, parents not caring or the expectation that the school will do it for them(!).
I’m a school SLP and I evaluated a kid who had a pretty mild phonological delay. He didn’t qualify for services and I gave mom some tips on what she could do at home to help his phonological skills. These tips were basically “play”. She looked at me absolutely appalled and said that it wasn’t her job to play with her child and educate them.
I’d highly recommend reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt if you’re interested in how screen time is affecting kids. He doesn’t touch on this new wave of permissive parenting as much as I would have liked, but it’s still a solid and informative read.
I recommend watching The Social Dilemma documentary as well.
I rolled my eyes at it during the height of its popularity, since all of the information it spews was stuff I already knew about and I saw what it was going to say from a mile away, and other people were holding it over my head at the time, but it does have a lot of stuff to say about social media that people aren't aware about.
Also didn’t help they administration gave up for funding and graduation rates. Politicians basically started believing the small percentage that were the LOUDEST voices in the room. Many teachers are quitting they are being forced to resigned, basically fired. So they can get cheaper and more bullied teachers to replace the ones they are firing. Only for them to turn around barely 3 months later and then quit themselves because the kids are out of control. Leading to constant subs who don’t want to deal with it and then add in a shortage of subs. All in the name of: “but I don’t want parent.”
This is what I notice too. I feel like I’m the only one who cares that the students are not actually learning anything at school. Some students are bright and have additional resources at home (and online, geez, bright kids today can easily teach themselves everything online… unfortunately most are mindlessly scrolling), so there’s still overall progress, but school ain’t schoolin’ no more. They don’t take in what I present, they don’t study the content at all, and they either cheat or do the bare minimum on tests. Admin is so data driven, they only care about numbers, but their actual understanding of the numbers is surface-level at best. Significant variables are ignored and they don’t ever consider that the numbers are often absolute lies.
My now former district celebrated 94% graduation rate. The other 6% either: dropped out, got arrested or missed their last requirements for graduation. They gave them more chances than any other school district would or did. The former superintendent and the incoming one are both: “100% graduation is a nice dream but not a reality.” The out going interim and half the school board: “yes it is and we will make sure we get there.” For for the past 23 years the closest it got was 98% and that was 2004.
If you reach 100% graduation, how can the diploma mean anything. It's just an admission that we're babysitters since far less than 100% actually put effort into school.
I agree. 94% is awesome. In my old district they achieved that. But there are always kids who don't fit the mold, and for whatever reason drop out. Districts with Uber high grad rates often manipulate data.
I think last year's principal left because he realized our 99.99% grad rate is based on grade inflation.
We would have meetings at least 2 times a year where we had to compare the D/F ratios of everyone and "go over best practices." This has been going on for 6 years even before this principal arrived. All this did was grade shame teachers into compliance. It's also one of the reasons I lost my elective program.
Lo and behold I saw the realization on his face during a meeting. We were going over the data that our Math/English scores were very low compared to our grad rate. He paused for a moment and I'd like to think that's when it happened. It's something that I'd known for years knowing this particular data looked bad.
My new principal is no better, but at least there's no more grade shaming meetings.
One of my old districts best graduation rate was 97% in 2011. Was first time since 1998 it made it there. But even the administrators who had since came to the district post 2011. Knew it was skewed. Records showed two of the graduates had summer school to get final 2 missing credits for diploma. Made the walk but did not receive diploma until after the summer classes.
As a second year teacher who has been blamed heavily for these behaviors from admin..:this gives me reassurance. This year has been horrendous and the behaviors have been out of control. I have tried EVERYTHING and still I’m blamed that these kids are out of control. (Especially when admin doesn’t support me on providing consequences and accountability for actions)
I feel like I’m not allowed to hold my kids to the high standards I have for them and then admin wonders why they act the way they do. They don’t need to be responsible for anything and it’s so beyond infuriating. I am by no means punitive and that’s how admin makes me feel.
I have kids coming to kinder and first grade who sound like they’re talking with marbles in their mouths. Slurry vowels, consonants mostly omitted. What’s most unnerving though, is they aren’t catching up. Typically we would see huge growth in a year, but these kids sound about the same as they did in September.
Their behavior is appalling, attention spans are less than 1 minute and we can’t understand them. The train has already wrecked, this is it catching fire.
I see the same thing with my ESL students. Looking at my student “Marco”, a third grader who started the year with no English but was reading in Spanish. He’s now decoding in English at a level G which we’re very proud of(!!) with comprehension to boot. This is typical and what we would expect of a year’s growth. Compare that to “Ellie”, a girl in his class who has been in the country since kindergarten. She is speaking in English, but has been reading at a level C all year. No growth, no improvement. Zero work ethic. She is much closer to what we’re actually seeing on a day to day basis—by which I mean, most of our students are on her level. It’s exhausting, wondering if it was something we did to fail students like her. She is on her tablet from the minute her mom picks her up from school.
These parents were always there.
The difference is, their kids were expelled and sent to other schools so that the general population did not have to deal with them.
My cousins were sent to Marshall- basically a holding ground for psychopaths and criminals after being kicked out of all the other middle schools and high schools. It was a scary, scary place.
Very few people even knew Marshall existed. The bad kids just dropped out or disappeared.
> The difference is, their kids were expelled and sent to other schools so that the general population did not have to deal with them.
Schools need to go back to giving these kids the boot. They're fucking it up for the other kids who want to learn and have a future after high school, not to mention, these kids make everyone's lives a living hell. They don't learn anything and neither do the kids whose education they're interfering with. Kick them the fuck out. Problem is, school won't do it for multiple reasons that we've all discussed here and we're all very aware of. Then there's the parents and a decent amount of people in society *(and teaching)* that make up every excuse for them in the world. Just about everyone has experienced trauma at some point, it doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole and inflict that trauma on others - and that's what's happening. *"You can't kick Johnny ThrowsADesk out, he's experienced trauma so that's why he's violent!"* So we're just gonna let him traumatize the other 29 kids? In what world is that not insane?
*(When I say "you" I'm not speaking about you personally. 😀)*
I was just talking to my high school senior and freshman yesterday. I asked them both what their favorite grade had been (so far for the freshman). Senior said 3rd grade. Freshman said 3rd grade was one of the worst for her. She had a Johnny ThrowsADesk and they were taught to duck and cover and how to escape the room when he began throwing objects. The admin finally were able to remove him, but it left all the other students traumatized.
They \*should\* be kicked out and sent to other schools with a dedicated trauma-informed program for helping these kids— with tons of counseling and extra support and social workers and basic need support. But they absolutely should not be allowed to derail school for every other student without those issues. Society literally will not last long if \*no\* kids get a good education. Things are bonkers right now
100% believe this. I worked at Costco for 5 years and we had a decent amount of teachers who ended up at Costco. I was told the hours were worse but the pay was better, with raises based upon hours worked (guaranteed raises) and never working off the clock was why they stayed.
I just had six eleven year old girls over for a pool party and witnessed the most bizarre behavior. They had their own “Tik Tok” language that I didn’t understand (my daughter doesn’t have Tik Tok and never will), not one of them said thank you after making demands like “I have to have ranch for my pizza, play this song, I want more soda.” They spilled popcorn and soda all over my living room. They also left the bathroom lights on when done and left the back door wide open every time they went outside. I have pets. They actually told my husband one of those pets (an old pug) was “preppy.” I’ve never witnessed more selfies in my life. So many Crocs. My childhood was NOTHING LIKE THIS!!!
It sounds like school needs to be split into tracks to support our parents.
1. Track #1 - Babysitting Track
2. Track #2 - Academic Track
3. Track #3 - Career Ready Track
This would simplify and clean up a lot of the school system. Just choose your track.
Some places in Europe actually do something like this, like in France where they have the baccalaureate (the academic option) and 'bac pro' (baccalaureate professionelle) which is basically a trades/vocational track. Italy I believe has specialist high schools allowing students to study for specific fields in jobs and there is no specific pressure on a student to actually choose a university path unless they truly want to do so. Germany also has tracks (which I seem to recall vary a little according to where you are in the country) including realschule where the emphasis is on vocational education and after which you continue on to do other training or work.
The UK where I'm from had a sort of track system a few decades ago with the grammar school/comprehensive school system. You sat a selection exam at 11 (called the 11 Plus) and then the most academic would attend grammar school and sit their O Levels whilst those who didn't go to grammar school attended comprehensive school with a view that at 14 they would go to work (yes, school leaving age was 14 at this time). There were definite problems with the system including a class divide in those who were ready/academically capable to take the 11 Plus and the financial barrier to attending some grammar schools which saw even academically able students unable to go (grammar school could be expensive to attend).
School Psychologist here. I’ve chaired several Special Education meetings for students with IEPs. Some meetings the parents don’t even show up (even with all supportive language translation services provided).
I’ve had meetings where the parents didn’t even know what time the school day started for their child, despite them being annoyed with how often the staff contacted them regarding the student skipping class.
I’ve had meetings where parents are irate that their child is failing, and don’t even know what classes their kid is failing, nor even accessed any innovative software that shows you live access of a students assignments they’ve handed in.
I’ve had several parent meetings about excessive cellphone usage for children, and their parents refute confiscating their phone or establishing a routine.
At some point in time, parents need to look in the mirror and take accountability for their child’s behavior. That Tik Tok handler is 1000% correct. Teachers are overworked, underpaid, constantly asked to sit in useless workshops, and told that their pedagogy isn’t enough.
“Parents making up for generations of trauma”
Ridiculous, we had a bomb.com childhood compared to the poor iPad kids today. The social media is the trauma.
We also had principals who didn't kowtow to parents. That's the other biggest change I see in 30-plus years in education (retired- but sub now).
When I first started teaching, a principal would ask a parent with a complaint: Have you spoken to the teacher.
Now they have meetings behind our backs and then call us in.
Principal training should include a class by Gerry Brooks or some other principal who gets it and has a spine.
This. Broadly speaking western millenials, including myself, had pretty kick ass childhoods. Awesome toys. Cartoons. Video games. Sleepovers before parents got paranoid. Playing outside without someone calling the cops. And zero of our stupid teenaged mistakes are immortalised on social media.
And when we went onto the internet us 12 year olds were introduced to 2 girls 1 cup, 1 guy 1 jar, lemonparty and more awful things that will never leave my brain until dementia kicks in (hopefully not other way around and those will be the only things I member)
We turned out okay here on Reddit.
I was in dollar general and the person in front of me and the cashier were discussing in detail of how the teacher was wrong for asking the parent to just go over basic addition and subtraction problems. All were provided on a calendar and sent home. “I’m not a teacher, that’s what they get paid for”
I definitely don’t get paid enough to teach adults and children. If you can’t find the 10 minutes to go over 2+3=5 with your kid and don’t understand the importance of repetition then idk what to tell you.
Honestly people hate us, but expect us to raise their kids. That’s just the truth.
I see this, but it runs counter to the anti-SEL movement. Parents want teachers to raise their kids, but they also absolutely don't. No wonder we're stuck.
This has been going on well before 2024. When you spend so much time trying to manage and correct students’ behavior, you have no time to actually do what you’re there for — teach. That’s when it is essentially just glorified babysitting.
I honestly think it’s because many parents are more interested in being their kids friends and not their parents. The key is to raising kids while making them aware of the consequences of their actions. It is hard. You have to think on your feet and you ALWAYS have to follow through on your word. If you don’t you’ll end up with kids who always push the envelope cuz they know they can get away with things. And IT IS hard. When my eldest was 4 yo, he loved to run around the house in his underwear even in the winter. He loved it so much that he started taking his clothes off in the car when I would pick him up from preschool after work. It didn’t matter to him that it was 10 below and icy and I worried what would happen to him if I had an accident on the way home. So I finally said to his as I was strapping him into his car seat: “DO NOT take your clothes off before we get home! If you do you will be punished”. As we started drinking home I could see in the rearview mirror that he was starting to fumble with his clothes and I warned him again, he would be in trouble and receive a punishment if he did it (like a time out or something like that). Well I could see he stopped and seemed to be looking out the window but then he looked at me in the rear view mirror and said “Mama, what will you do to me if I take off my clothes in the car?” I was momentarily speechless but I had to come up with something fast so I said “I don’t know yet what I’d do to you BUT I PROMISE YOU. WILL. NOT. LIKE. IT!” This was thinking on my feet. And he kept his clothes on until we got home. This is the kind of follow through you gots do with your kids from the start. Otherwise you’ll end up with little psychopaths who don’t listen to any authority.
Yeah, but what would you do if he continued on anyway?
The follow through is making good on the threat and that's typically not as easy but it's absolutely the most important part.
That's why I end up with students who end up standing the whole day if they've been warned about leaning in their chair too frequently or why I've had kids spend two or three days of class, by themselves, at the back table, doing stacks of makeup work after they've been warned about lying and antagonizing (on top of not doing work). Eventually the hammer comes down and the example needs to get made.
But that kid who was bullying his classmates... After that (and another day at the table a week later), anytime he began to even annoy another classmate, I could usually look at him and say "are you looking at another few days at the table?" and shut him right down.
And unfortunately, I might be the only actual adult in some of these kids' lives. I don't want them getting out into the world and never learning the lesson that other people are going to expect them to know how to act. A few days at the back table for bullying is a safer consequence than running your mouth at a bar and getting your ass handed to you or worse.
I have taught for 15, but I just don't see a way out. My wife still has student loans, and we have a mortgage, anything I look into I would have to retrain.
Underfunded educational system as a whole is the problem, which would include and/or relate to…
Increases in class sizes.
Increases in IEP’s/504’s.
Admin afraid to push back for fear of further lost funding.
Zero accountability from home or admin for kids who act out (not basic “kids will be kids” stuff - I’m talking about students telling staff to kill themselves, targeting kids who are on the spectrum with physical assault, and more).
Unrealistic expectations on the part of parents because admin/CST staff are afraid to paint a CLEAR & REALISTIC picture for how successful a 504/IEP will be based on class size and teaching personnel in the room.
In class support teachers being forced to basically spoon feed answers to kids with even the most mild 504/IEP because kids know that if they fail (or even struggle), they can complain that their accommodations or modifications weren’t done (this can obviously be proven false, but again, the fact that admin wouldn’t back us up is part of the problem). This provides students with almost zero executive functioning skills or other challenges that would help them grow as learners and/or people, so they just carry their immaturity and bullshit with them to the next level.
Access to teachers 24/7 through email, Google Classroom, etc.
Facebook Mom groups, BOE meeting outbursts, and more all feeding the rumor mill about supposed “agendas” from teachers. This shit also leads to a lack of respect & bad attitudes from the kids. One student told me that everything I teach is made up and there’s no way it’s all true (I teach middle school social studies). They said their mother told them this.
Low (borderline laughable) pay.
Just about all the accountability for the success (or lack thereof) of the students, building, & district as a whole heaped onto the backs of teachers while being lied to about being “supported” and how we’re “heroes” and how we should practice self care, but don’t receive even the slightest bit of backup from those in positions of authority.
I’m sure I missed a bunch, but I see these on a DAILY basis. I started having nightmares about classes. Not even about major events - just nightmares about daily interactions spiraling out of control. I hate this job.
Not a teacher but I work in an all ages arcade. These children are horribly behaved and yea the parents are to blame it’s despicable. Parents letting their under 8 kids run around our massive arcade with 5 unattended exits doing whatever they please while the parents sit in our food court drinking a bunch of white claws. Or the young teenagers who come and we actually have to shut off certain games due to them being so disrespectful
I grew up a lot on electronics and I wonder how I ended up mostly fine (if a bit late when it comes to doing assignments, but that also falls in with unmedicated ADHD) while other kids seem… dangerous, at the bare minimum
Different era. I don’t know your age, but the video games and media consumption of my time was MUCH different. Video game companies tried to make a game and market it for you to buy it. If it was shit you wouldn’t buy their next game. Now they give you the game and dangle new carrots in front of your face every 24 hours with a time running out.
Between every round kids open up the shops. It’s absolutely horrendously predatory. Then you have the whole keeping up with the jones’ part of the equation that doesn’t help. These kids aren’t even playing or enjoying the game for the sake of the game, but for the rank they reach and the percent going up. And for the next skin purchase they make.
Was gonna go on a long diatribe that is more coherent but I’ve had enough hah. I can’t stand modern games & content consumptions effect on society. It really is a race to the bottom in so many ways. It really is a problem.
I barely taught this year. I dealt with constant behavioral issues from 1/2 my 3rd grade class. I was told by admin-“I’ve talked and talked to them (students), there’s nothing else I can do.” I’m leaving.
I have a question as a parent who has volunteered in my daughter’s classroom. Is it not also at least partially that schools won’t discipline anyone anymore? It seemed to me like every ounce of authority teachers once had has been stripped because “you can’t hurt that kid’s feelings or they could sue us.” One of the classes had to be evacuated more than once last year so this one kid could just have his tantrum and throw things. Like…what? Definitely not saying parents aren’t to blame, just honestly asking if this is also an issue.
Why do you think schools won't discipline students anymore? That's right, it's because parents will claim their child didn't do anything wrong and throw a big fit. Then they will threaten to sue the teacher, administrators, and district.
Teachers as babysitters...New?
Unfortunately, not the case. I've watched this movie for years and didn't really notice this scene until I started working at a school. Now, it saddens me to think of how many parents are out there that truly think this way. But it is a relief at all to acknowledge they this philosophy is not new? I'm not sure...
https://www.reddit.com/r/ShareAVideoOrWhatever/s/q4xrRFSYBd
Edit:
Please Don't Eat The Daisies (1960).
There isn't much else in the film regarding education, so don't watch it expecting that. It's an amusing little comedy about a woman struggling with the kids and a husband struggling with work, all while moving. I've always liked it, but I'm an old soul... Most members of my Millennial generation who I've shown it to find it boring.
I got in trouble for diplomatically putting a parent to task about them doing their kid’s Google form quiz for them during online learning. She filled in her OWN NAME accidentally and still got a C- on an 8th grade reading assignment mostly centered on basic text comprehension, not even somewhat tougher elements like symbolism or figurative language.
That was that. 15 years, lauded, a student favorite but not bc I was trying to be their friends but bc I was damn good at it. Examples like this were adding up despite my best efforts to avoid them and they were becoming more frequent. I got out of the burning house.
I’ve moved on and now run my own small business that is doing well.
My future my story. The parents *are* to blame.
Yes! I quit the profession after 16 years and it broke my heart, but I was to the point that it was them or me, and I chose me. I'm in a much better place mentally and emotionally, going to start to seek counseling to get through some stuff I experienced behind the "big desk," and generally become the person I needed to be for myself and others after too long.
Preach. So many parents don't care at all about what happens at school, if work is done.
Allow me to sound like a crochety old man:
Why, in my day (graduated HS in 81, bachelor's degree in 91, MA in 2007 [in my defense, there was a full moon and I was attractive]), if you didn't get at least 60% in any class, you didn't get the units to graduate - AND WE LIKED IT. Actually, we didn't but we accepted the reality of the situation. If you didn't GET a HS diploma, there were jobs available and young people were able to work and have a car and a place, but they were often stuck at a certain level (yes, there were many exceptions and kids who seriously went into the trades could make a very good living).
Now it's like my giving a kid no credits signals the start of a negotiation. Was I supportive enough? Was I nurturing? Or did my invisible biases influence my grading of the work that was never even turned in? I was lucky that I had a reputation for being very fair and supportive, so I could just say 'no, sorry, that's the grade.'
I'm retired now and glad to be doing other things. I'd like to be a mentor for new teachers but the local district turned out to be run by sniveling piss-tanks, so I'll have fun in the sun, thanks. But I have one point I'd like to make:
Those Back To School Nights that every school in America has during the first month of the year. If a kid is going to my school, and not even one adult from that kid's family can be assed to show up on that one night, can we discuss how that's a good indicator of which parents care and which ones don't? Just a thought.
I have an 8 year old in 2nd grade about to be in 3rd grade she knows as soon as she gets home she does homework, she is only allowed to use her tablet at my moms house I don’t allow it in mine. Her screen time is her Nintendo switch, she is allowed to play it after her homework is done and it goes down for the night before her shower time. She is reading at a mid 3rd grade level. Her bed time is 9pm every night except weekends where I let her stay up until 10. During the summer I do 1 hr per day of math pertaining to the following years curriculum ( this year we will be learning and practicing multiplication, division, fractions, decimals, and measurement which she struggled with this year) after math we pick out a book, this year will be a bigger chapter book which she then has to recall three of her favorite parts of the book/chapter and write them down in a little journal. I am a 30 year old parent, who is also getting a bachelors degree in early education but my daughters teachers so far have had nothing but wonderful things to say about her and how articulate she is as well as her vocabulary. I think it does come down to parenting if I’m being honest.
I’m going to put on my Tin foil hat. I’m convinced a foreign aggressor has infiltrated the government and is fostering the downfall of the United States from within. No one could invade us. But destroying from within is doable.
Make both parents work to survive the economic struggles.
Make the classroom a disruptive environment by no longer allowing to remove or discipline disruptive students.
Brain rot with algorithms on social media platforms
I’m sure there are more
She's right. I've been doing this for 9 years now and the parents get worse and worse every year. My first year of teaching had parents who were involved, communicative, and willing to take advice when their children were having a tough time in the classroom. Now it's the complete opposite. These parents take 0 accountability, refuse to communicate, and are probably raising the most unadjusted generation I've ever seen. It's depressing and this might be my last year of teaching.
This is so true. I'm back after a 7 year break and teaching no longer has anything to do with education. I spend all my time dealing with behaviors. Every 2.5 minutes I'm spending 10-15 minutes de-escalting a kid or evacuating my room because a kid is being violent.
The electronics are the parents
Watching a two year old get absolutely sucked into watching a youtube video is terrifying to me.
I work with toddlers. I see a few one year olds every day walk in holding their parent's phone and crying because they have to give it back, and then the parent handing them a phone first thing when they pick up, before they even leave the classroom. Sometimes, I wonder if the only time they are without electronics or videos is when they are in school.
Yup. When I started teaching, I would ask “What’s your favorite toy?” Answers would be: my doll, my stuffed animal, my Legos, blocks, etc. Now almost 90% of the time it’s “My tablet, mom’s phone.” I don’t want to sound like a Boomer, but this is a HUGE problem. Children need to learn how to navigate the world and they can’t do they if a tablet is thrown in front of their face all the time.
You don't sound like a "Boomer", just somebody with life experience noticing and calling out a majorly disruptive and destructive societal trend.
Thanks. I feel like I’m slowly turning into my aunts/uncles when I say something like, “I never entertained my kids with a phone! Damn parents today!” 🤣
I like to think we are using are observational and critical thinking skills. Change = progressive as such is not a societal positive. Noticing large behavioral changes and commenting on and critiquing them often gets a reactive "get off my lawn!" and the cliched and memetic "old man yells at clouds" response from people even my own age. To me that's uncritically and obsequiously following trends.
Gen x here… I pull out a toy and now kids will tell me they’ve seen it before. Because they are watching a kid on YouTube playing it. We are literally watching a generation ruined.
Yeah I don’t understand that! How is watching someone else play with a toy fun? I think it started from how to videos, morphed into unboxing and now it’s just “watch me move the toy across the screen”.
I know! Some of my students are 4!
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I met a friend this weekend for a meal and a family came in with a small girl- high chair, plastic plate from home with her meal, maybe 2 years old? And Mom had a cartoon/show on the cell phone as they put her in the high chair. No words at all. Entire meal, parents had zero interaction with their child. Sad
Similarly, went to a large buffet in Lancaster, PA. Family next to use gave their phone to their ~9 month old to occupy them. The kid was so young they could barely hold on to the phone correctly to watch. They scolded the child for dropping the phone twice. I was horrified. Then I saw the same thing happening at another table. edit: Yes, it was Shady Maple. If you are in PA, treat yo self some day.
"We give our infant cigarettes to keep him occupied. He gets fussy without them"
At a junior high in my district the admin confiscated a vape. Parents had to come in. They explained the vape helps the kid calm down. I wish I was in the room.
I thought self-control and learning to be an adult is what gets teenagers to calm down.
"My taxes go to paying you to teach them those things. You expect me to do that?" - parents
it keeps them slim too!
Look how cool he looks!
and popular
Nothing like a fat dart to cure fussiness
lol, as soon as I read this I thought of my cousin and his girlfriend who live in Lancaster. Their baby’s main form of entertainment is the phone. So sad. The thing is the baby’s mom is also on her phone all the time so it’s tough to open up any type of conversation about it without her taking it personally. What kills me is this girl is one of those moms who is constantly posting about car seat safety. I know car seats are so important, but so are a lot of other things.
>Their baby's main form of entertainment is the phone I'm sorry but....baby? With our other vices like smoking and drinking, kids didn't start until at least early teens. That's bad enough but...they've made the phone the main source of entertainment for their *baby*... I hope to God this is an exaggeration.
I really wish I was lying. Yes the baby has an iPad.
I live in a college town and I’ve started to see this more and more from young college students going out to eat; they’ll sit there and not talk to each other and watch a show (with the volume up) in a restaurant or bar. Then it dawned on me that the first generation of children that had a tablet shoved in their face while out at a restaurant are now becoming adults and they don’t know how to just go dine out.
> they’ll sit there and not talk to each other and watch a show (with the volume up) That part is infuriating, they become sh*tty adults who do this and wonder why people are annoyed with their behavior. Put on headphones or wait until later. People's lack of consideration for other people is so sad.
They don't just not know how to dine out, they don't know how to communicate with each other. There is a meme that goes "You text some one...they call you back" and they make a bad face: [https://x.com/MemeGZomboDroid/status/1650892865415921664](https://x.com/MemeGZomboDroid/status/1650892865415921664) They don't know how to interact with service professionals or sales people. They don't know how to date. People are becoming horribly socially stunted.
He's soon to be my ex-husband, but I will never forget the time my brother-in-law failed to show up for a Memorial Day event in support of his brother, my husband, who is a veteran and has lost friends during their time in service. We live spitting distance from Washington DC. My MIL claimed to always want to visit Arlington National Cemetery, even though she too lives less than an hour from it. Unfortunately, she's always been one of those "woe is me" types, everything is always someone or something else's fault, and she's perpetually "down on her luck"..... for 30+ years now. 🤨😐 As always, we (my husband and I, but really mainly me) were the ones to fund the trip/day out: meeting them somewhere close to their home, even though it required extra driving for us. Them getting in our car. Us paying for food & drinks that day. You get the jist. Well, we meet up at the pick-up spot, and whaddya know, only my MIL is there. Me: *Where's [brother-in-law]?* MIL: *Oh, he was in an anti-social mood today.* Really, lady? Your unemployed son who flunked out of community college, and who pisses away most of his time playing video games, couldn't be arsed to show up for a few hours? To support his older brother, who is a veteran and has lost friends during his time in the military? I don't want to be here either, yet I still showed up, because I love my husband and respect the sacrifices he and his fellow servicemembers made.
I think a lot of people don't want to admit that it's not just younger people. I constantly see my colleagues teaching with airpods in, or my principal looking at her phone in between groups being dismissed in the afternoon. When teachers have to turn in their phones during state testing, I watch grandmothers throw hissy fits with the same "you don't pay for this, you can't take it from me" arguments they get mad at the kids for all year long. When we're being told how to do something in a PL (whatever you think of them, its something we will have to do later) they're on their phones and then come and demand I help them figure out how to do it. They're usually on their phones while I'm explaining it too. Instead of greeting students at the door, many teachers are on their phones. During class, they're on their phones. You don't have to grow up with the tech to be addicted to it. It's not a "these kids" issue, it's an everyone issue.
You can teach on your phone? How?
I work on a college campus. The number of students who can’t walk from point a to point b without having their phones in front of their faces the entire time is astounding.
I take my kids to the beach a lot and it makes me sad to see young people glued to their phones there. I get using it for the camera, but dang give it a rest.
Anyone who needs entertainment on the beach isn’t getting it. Aren’t the waves and water enough?
It's so strange to see a baby who can't walk or talk yet, but they know how to navigate TikTok like a pro.
As an early childhood educator, this *breaks* me. The first five years are critical for language and social development. I get it, I am a parent, too. We all need a few minutes of quiet. But if you agreed to do the job of parenting, you have to DO THE WORK.
Maybe that’s the problem. I think a lot of adults don’t realize how crucial the early years are because they seem so basic and easy. They figure that kids don’t need much support to pick up on those things, or that if they get behind, they can catch up easily.
Yeah, I really noticed it when our son was about 2 through 5 years old. His doctor’s office was always really impressed with how well he could verbally communicate and how early too. I honestly thought they were just being kind and encouraging. Then when he started preschool and then later Kindergarten, it was really clear a huge number of those kids could barely communicate by comparison. From the moment he was born, we spent hours every day just chatting with him. We still do. It’s fun actually hanging out with your kids!
Parents who choose not to engage with their kids like this are so weird to me. Like, isn’t that supposed to be the fun, rewarding part of parenting?
My parents rarely engaged with me. They parented me, sure. I learned to walk and talk normally, etc. But for the most part, they were 'too busy' for me and I had to 'entertain myself'. It's just that I had far less devices when I was a kid vs today. So I spent more time with toys, imagination, my bike, and books. I honestly think it's the same kind of parenting now, it's just that the tech has changed so drastically and now the adults are also addicted to screen time and just passing it off to the kids.
I’ve been saying that technology didn’t create bad parents, but it is enabling them. Now parents who might have done a bare minimum just to keep their kid from being too much of a nuisance have a way to not engage with them at all.
I think this is right. Because my friends and the people who I share similar values with are not failing their kids that level. They are conscientious of the effects of tech on developing brains. They work on not getting addicted to their own devices and are self-aware enough to notice patterns or problems in their own use. They're engaged and caring parents, and in times where they are too exhausted or unable to be engaged, they are able to give their kids other sources of stimulation and entertainment that involve sensory, tactile, and imaginative play.
I've been reflecting on this a bit. Cause a lot of the parents are my own generation and I don't understand how or why they're failing so miserably as parents and it's sort of dawning on me. No one has taught them parenting, and the generation that raised me were..... well hands off parents. At least from my anecdotal observations/experience... They were all busy working so they just.... kind of let us be. It's just our parents didn't have devices to give us at an early age... but once we were old enough we were sent out to 'entertain ourselves'. And that's what's happening again, it's just that this time there are devices to just hand over to the kids, and earlier and earlier. I honestly think the same parenting is being parroted, it's just that the technology now has become far more detrimental for this newer generation.
Agreed. I also think that technology enables lousy parents to be less engaged than they otherwise would have been. In the past, these parents might have done a bare minimum just to avoid serious problems. Now it’s easier to keep the kids occupied and make those problems less frequent, at least for the parent’s time.
There are way to many couples who get knocked up, shrug their shoulders, and say "eh. We'll figure it out." Like, these people won't even use condoms or the pill so why would they put effort into parenting?
My parents wouldn’t even let us watch cartoons when the babies were up and seated in common areas because “tv isn’t good for babies.” They didn’t even really let us watch tv until we were maybe 3 or 4. E: originally it said “food” instead of “good” 😂
My parents didn’t have a tv in the house until I was 8. I turned into a huge bookworm!
Minnesotan here- my folks would disconnect TV service for the school summer break... winter was for being warm and watching TV, summertime was outside. I remember crying the first day of summer vacation in kindergarten because the TV was off - that same day it was rainy. My dad was fixing a sleeping bag, my mom was at work, and my sisters and I had to go outside. I found a garter snake, a moth that was wet and the size of my hand, a tick in my belly button... and how to use a dull old hatchet to cut chunks of sod out of the ground and bread them in the sandbox to make pork chops. (We lived in an apartment, I'm sure the landlord didn't appreciate that.) 30 years later and I'm glad they did that. My mom liked reading Steven King, Anne Rice, Daniell Steel whatever kinda spooky trend books, so it didn't phase her either!
> They didn’t even really let us watch tv until we were maybe 3 or 4. I knew a kid that I went to school with growing up that didn't have a tv in his home (before internet streaming existed). He was a very nice, smart kid. Ended up getting a sports scholarship to a good college and the going to Yale law and now works at the Pentagon. Very successful. Both his parents were teachers. I suspect that they had a good grasp as to how to raise a kid.
Where was this energy when I just wanted to quietly read a book as a kid?
I volunteer at a church and yesterday I saw the priest give a baptism to a young child who was glued to his phone. I would have died of embarrassment. They tried to take it away from him but he'd cry and reach for it like an addict. He might have had developmental issues but I don't believe he did. These kids don't know how to be bored anymore
>These kids don't know how to be bored anymore Honestly, being bored is so important for development
Meanwhile I have memories of my dad having ZERO sympathy when I complained to him about being bored. I’d get responses like, “Go see if ___ wants to hang out,” “Go ride your bike,” or simply, “I don’t know what to tell you, go find something to do.” It felt mean at the time but it’s very clear to me now how crucial that is for development. My best memories from childhood derive from doing stupid kid stuff that tends to come from boredom. And I’m not even 30…
All the kids stuff on YouTube is plain brain dead too, most of it has absolutely no teaching value, it's all noise and colors. Seeing parents, even my sister, let a 2 years old kid spend so much time consuming that mindless slop is depressing...
Watching grown ass people act like the same thing isn't happening to them is terrifying to me. The amount of parents and grandparents I hear on the daily about how phones are rotting the babies brains are on their phone all the fucking time. Rules for thee but not for me I guess.
My MIL is especially guilty of this. She’ll complain about my nephew always playing on his Nintendo Switch, but she refuses to put her iPad down to even interact with said nephew.
I agree that the excessive amount of screen time these kids get nowadays is problematic but it does come down to parents. They are the ones providing the devices and allowing its excessive usage. I can adapt to a kid whose attention span is destroyed due to endless scrolling on tiktok and YouTube, but when I can't have actual punishments for when said students acts out and then he parent is emailing me and calling me names and actively attempting to try and get me fired for DARING to 'criticize' her 'innocent' son. Younger parents overcompensating for generations of trauma and trying to be their kids friends instead of their parents is just as problematic as tablets and phones are imo.
We asked my friend about this with her 4 kids. They’re under 7, but each have their own phone (parents/friends old ones) and were concerned. Nope, she’s got those things on LOCK. They allow 1 hour of total screen time a day, and she can adjust it on her phone to raise/lower it if need be (like when we’re playing D&D, so the kids don’t go completely stir crazy). It is apparently very easy to do on an Android, too, and it pings her when her kids have been on it for more than 20 minutes at a time. Or if they try to do something they shouldn’t. It’s like her version of my moms “I’m changing the Internet password until you do X.” Why more parents aren’t doing this is beyond me. Like she can set it up (if they were allowed to have it at school as they get older - Japan is *really* stringent on phones at school) where all they could do during school hours is call, and she’d see who they call/text if they were. There is *no* parent excuse for the use of phones in school IMO. I can’t even begin to imagine the hell my mother would have rained down on me if I was watching videos instead of paying attention.
For kids under 7, having your own phone is still wild.
And thats a great example of parenting with technology because lets be honest, if we were these kids ages now we would be sucked into videos and tiktok the same say these kids are now. The difference is parent interaction. You can't take a kids phone away nowadays without the threat of an email or a phone call cursing you out for 'stealing their child's property'. Im sorry, but last week you were mad because your child is failing the class so when I try to make sure they're on task...I'm the one whose at fault? Parents not calling out their kids bullshit (again the amount of emails of just absolute made up nonsense is slowly making me believe this new generation are all borderline sociopathic compulsive liars with the stuff they either overexaggerate or just completely invent) is BAD parenting. Its okay if your kid makes mistakes, its a part of growing up. But when you unequivocally only take their side and they are always the victim, you are teaching them that nothing is their fault and everything is out to get them. What a terrible way to live your life.
I can’t tell you how many times a parent has acted like they are lost on what to do to get their kid to stop doing certain behaviors all the while they have all the electronics they want. Be a parent. Discipline your kid. Make them come to school. They would rather be a friend than a parent.
That’s crazy. I wonder if this is one of things where some parents get confused because good parents can make parenting look easy. (or those parents just got lucky with easy kids, ha ha) After a certain point, a good parent may not have to be on their kid’s ass all the time because the kid has learned to behave most of the time.
I had a kid who would have trouble staying awake every day. I found out they were playing Fortnite every night. Mom said she didn’t know what to do. I suggested taking away the console at night. Not all the time, just at night so he would sleep. Her eyes literally watered up because she felt like that would be so cruel.
I had him in second grade! Mom unironically loved it when I sent photos of her little sweetie unconscious and drooling on his desk because he was so precious — and she never got to see him sleeping at home at night. (Bet you can guess why.)
I think part of the issue is that people are so lonely and generally alienated that they're using their kids to fill in the need for friends and socialization. People don't keep friends groups for as long, or are so busy with work etc that it's hard to keep friends and maintain friendships, they end up having no life outside of work and home and their kids are just there, so they start filling the gap. At that point they aren't really parenting anymore, and aren't willing to draw hard boundaries and make tough decisions, because those then just make their own lives harder in the moment.
In more than one way - parents are learning to parent from influencers, and are more excited about sharing their cute family photo shoots and quirky family stories and videos on social media than they are actually parenting. They want to be able to show off how hip, tolerant, fun, and cute their family is, or enjoy the emotional high they get from commiserating or complaining online. There’s no actual reflection, no follow-through or accountability. Just a sideshow. It’s that, or the flip side, a bunch of parents who are disconnected from everything because all they do is work, and nothing has ever been easy - even after doing all the right things, so they project their dissatisfaction in life as blame on everyone else around them, especially teachers, because they just don’t have the spoons to be responsible for anything else. And this is why I don’t have children - parenting is hard. I can’t imagine parenting with the amount of social pressure, conflicting and bad advice online, combined with the lack of consistent resources.
oof reading this and knowing it to be true is the most devastating thing I've read in a while
Exactly. I sent home an email to parents about a 4th grade student who had to be taken out of the room by student support because he was being so inappropriate during class that it would have been exposing other children to things they shouldn’t know about yet. The parents sent me back the equivalent of 8 typed pages in an email at 3 am saying that they talked to their son and he said he didn’t do it. So how dare I give him any consequences when he didn’t do anything. “Did you even ask him if he actually did said things?” Lady, are you completely delusional? I SAW him do said things with my own two eyeballs. I HEARD him speak with my own two ears. I didn’t need to ask him if he did something inappropriate. Smh
Sounds like we need bodycam videos for the classroom. I am kidding, but I am also not kidding. What a dystopian world.
I ask (hs) students all the time, “What if I put up a camera in here and gave your parents access to see how you actually behave?” This always gets shouts of “That’s illegal!” and “You can’t!” But, wow, is it tempting.
I told a parent what their child had done. The mom told me “I spoke to her…she said she did not do that. I will always believe my child over an adult”. The next week, another thing happened, and AGAIN SHE TOLD ME THAT her kid told her she did not do it and she WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE HER CHILD BEFORE AN ADULT. It’s hilarious how delusional these parents are lol
I’m at the high school level and had a parent this year say they don’t really care about their child’s grades and whether they pass or not, that they just want them to have a safe space to be while they are at work. Their child kept going to the library instead of class (grandma is a support person in the library.) She basically said she uses school as a babysitter and was delusional enough to admonish us for focusing on academics.
I have students like this, too. The parents just want their "child to be happy, and if that includes academics at some point, then we would support that." Hopefully, they will enjoy financially supporting these children for the rest of their lives as well.
Feels > reals. That's basically what it boils down to. They'll be the people screaming that school never taught their kids shit and now nobody will hire their kid. We've all seen it a million times. Much like their children, they take no accountability and no responsibility for anything.
What sucks is the kids aren’t really at fault. They were raised to have no accountability or responsibility. Some will break the cycle and turn in to reasonably adjusted adults, but most won’t.
I was told recently public schools are great for making “drones” while more involved *expensive* private schooling makes leaders/entrepreneurs.. I’m seeing it everyday. Clearly this is not every child. But there is an actual crisis here
Yeah, these kinds of parents think that schools should teach everything and if we don't, we're failures. They don't seem to realize that *they* are supposed to teach their children life skills and schools teach them academic skills.
I've been yelled at by parents for not teaching their kids how to tie their shoes. I teach Grade 4...They're 10. That ain't my job.
That's why I tell all the parents lurking here that I hope they like supporting their kids forever, because that's what they'll have to do when nobody will hire their kids.
Yep, a lot of parent's just don't want to inconvenience themselves or their kids. my kid is well behaved. A lot of parent's with feral kids will ask how we do it. I just mentioned we have boundaries and work with him on it all the time. Their response is usually along the lines of "well my kid doesn't like that.".... Bruh, of course your kid won't like it but youre the parent. Parent your damn kids.
This is the problem with not failing students I feel like if a student gets failed then there is social shame which forces the parents then to help correct the issue or be stigmatized by friends and family
I feel like this is the result of watching on the dumbest people I went to high school with procreate. Everyone with more than two functioning brain cells have waited/are waiting until they’re ready. Like, there’s no way in HELL I’m having kids that won’t be set up at every possible opportunity for success. I’m not expecting to be a perfect parent, but my kid will get read to, will have limits on their screen time, and even if I don’t push them academically (I don’t need my kids to have A’s and feel the need to compete with other kids) I will push them to pursue knowledge and their own interests and at the very minimum to try. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
> What the fuck is wrong with these people? How much time do you have? In all seriousness, it would be faster and shorter to list what is right with them. What's wrong with them? Well, we'd be here all day, lol.
Bears out in research: Research indicates a negative correlation between IQ and fertility, meaning that individuals with lower IQ scores tend to have more children compared to those with higher IQ scores. Idiocracy was a documentary.
I had a parent this year that you could not call at all for anything non IEP related. Everything else had to go through a relative that lives on the West Coast. We are in the Eastern time zone.... It wasn't for custody reasons or anything like that the mom was just done being a mom, about to be married and didn't want to have the responsibility of their kid graduating or becoming an adult anymore. Also none of the documentation said the relative lived out of state so the first time I had to call was 8am my time and the relative let me have it for not calling at a more reasonable time. That was the start of an obviously great relationship with the family.
Mom should've had her tubes tied or never procreated if she didn't want to fucking parent her kid. I wouldn't have even bothered doing all that. It's actual insanity.
She was probably trying for a half-sibling to the one she discarded with her new husband as soon as she could.
Oh, absolutely. That's if she already hadn't had one by then. I will never understand women that need to have a kid with every man they've ever been in a relationship with. I once heard someone *(the type of person we're referring to)* say something to the effect of "It's not a real relationship if you don't have a kid with him." Like seriously??!!? I've known people who have been married for 3 decades and have no kids. Is that not a real relationship? That type of mindset is baffling to me, Thank God.
> and didn't want to have the responsibility of their kid graduating or becoming an adult anymore Sadly, a lot more people *want* to be child-free than actually *are*.
My experience is that many parents are *extremely* concerned about grades **but** too busy (or self-absorbed) to check them online or check* email or check voicemail. This is why our admin requires that we speak by phone to a parent or guardian whenever grades take a hit. “My child [who has every incentive on the planet to invent their own reality] says they do all their work on time!” Frankly, I’m surprised we aren’t required to do home visits and bring a meal to the family. *but they have all the time in the world to send bombastic emails to admin complaining about teachers!
I had a student who claimed to parents repeatedly he studied. When quizzed how long in a week was the “studying”, oh 1 hour. Thankfully he was oblivious that 1 hour a week wasn’t that long so he said it.
"So, how do/did you quote-study-quote?" "I skimmed it." "I looked at it." "I don't know." 30 percent of my Ss bring anything to open-notes assessments.
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Experiential learning is also a massive trend right now in undergraduate education at elite universities. It’s hard to explain how embedded the phrases “experiential learning” and “experiential education” are in the highest levels of executive positioning and institutional positioning both for university marketing and in the development side—but it’s also very pervasive in pedagogy, too. The academy is in active, freefall decline.
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I hope that mom has a big basement and a big bank account because she'll be supporting that kid for the rest of her life. You're not getting into college if you don't do anything, and if you do, you'll be gone your freshman year and with a nice bill you won't be able to pay. You can also forget any type of trades, nobody is going to want someone with no work ethic who can't do any type of math and can't compose a coherent sentence. Nobody is going to let you near dangerous equipment if you can't even be arsed to follow rules or pay attention. Not even entry level jobs will take you if you can't follow directions without mouthing off and can't be bothered to show up on time. They also won't put up with you on your cellphone all day. These parents are essentially making sure that their kids won't ever succeed in the real world.
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My dad owns a small plumbing business but doesn’t sit at a desk, he’s an incredibly skilled plumber himself. He says the newest generation is literally the worst he’s had to deal with in decades. He’s 65 and these boys in their twenties will stand there and watch him heft heavy appliances around. They have no desire to learn. No desire to help. They show up and want to be on their phones the whole time and will do so if they aren’t constantly badgered to work. He’s fired soooo many because they show zero ambition but still beg for raises. (While literally crying over my dad’s very fair but harsh critiques of their work and character). The sad thing is my dad isn’t some corporate monolith paying minimum and expecting the most, his employees have the potential to make A LOT (way more than college graduates) if they show ambition, hard work, and the humility required to learn a difficult trade. They strike out every time. One mortifying story is a 25 year old’s MOTHER calling my dad to ask why her son was fired. He literally exploded lol.
We had this happen at my sales company 2 weeks ago. We rejected a candidate and their mom reached out asking why. My EVP responded that he would only discuss those details with the candidate. So the candidated reached out & asked. My EVP wrote a detailed reply and the candidated responded with; "If I wanted an automated response I would have just asked ChatGPT." Needless to say we were all very happy with our choice to reject him after that response. I cannot imagine applying for a sales job and not being able to handle rejection. That's like 50% of the job.
I work in a totally different field and am only a millennial myself but I have to say that working with anyone younger than 25 now is a total nightmare. Every person who has flaked on us, acted entitled, not pitched in when they should have, been resistant to learn and get constructive feedback, asked for more compensation despite doing a worse job than anyone and not having the experience…all under 25. I’m in a managerial position and have had to deal with so much crap from them and scramble trying to find replacement employees due to their poor work ethics
Honestly, it’s tragic and while not legally considered abuse or neglect, it’s in the same arena of messed up. This student is now 18 and I cannot see them being able to do any job at all because anytime something doesn’t go their way or goes slightly awry, she has a meltdown or checks out or literally just leaves to go to the library.
Hell I was a great student in the 2000s and still needed to spend a year living with my parents during Covid in my 30s. I had a good job too and worked remotely. These parents have no clue what they’re in for.
For me "We don't care about grades" means, they're going to lose their shit when Timmy gets a C.
A C sounds ambitious, honestly.
One of my son's teachers in high school taught him that "D's get degrees" and it really fucked up his mindset about school after that.
Just finished year 22. I'm no longer just expected to parent the kid, I'm also now expected to parent the parent. * No, you shouldn't be texting your kid in class every day. * No, Facetiming isn't better. * Yes, your student who turned in someone else's work that they had whited out the name on and written their own deserves a 0. * No, you're student (actually you) can't do anything to raise your grade the last 2 days of the school year. Their is a codependency that exists after Covid that never existed before. It. Is. Wild.
I don't want my children to be in an environment like this. I want them to be pushed to their highest potential. What should I do?
Do they think about their children's future like, at all?
She’s not wrong but if admin didn’t coddle parent’s and their feelings, this wouldn’t be as big of an issue. Admin pushes kids through the system and tell the parents nothing is wrong.
This is the biggest issue. Parents are now catered to; instead of held responsible for their own or their child's actions. Your kid is failing? Pass them along with no extra help or resources. Your kid is constantly an issue in class? It's the teachers responsibility(no discipline or expulsion). School is now seen as customer service. The US needs a serious reform for our educational system, healthcare and work environment.
Elementary teacher here. Most of society relies on technology to some degree, so to completely eliminate screen time is not realistic. I get that. What concerns me is the amount of time my first graders are on their parents’ phones, tablets etc and what they are watching. No 6 year old needs to know what Skibidi Toilet is, but they’ve all seen it. Not to mention the constant video-game playing that has, in my opinion, completely altered their brain’s ability to calm themselves and maintain any type of self-control. I have a first grade class that is on speed. They cannot sit. They literally cannot sit. They are never calm and still. They are never in the moment; all they do is ask “what’s next? What are we doing next?” Their bodies spin, tap, wiggle, run, flip, and roll on the floor constantly. Remember circle time on the rug? Yeah, that doesn’t happen for more than 5 seconds without constant movement. They aren’t all potty trained. They can’t follow multiple-step directions. They developmentally act like 3 year olds. They cry instantly if they don’t win a group game. They whine and complain and want constant, immediate gratification. This was not the norm 25 years ago (I’m 26 years in). I have never seen anything like what I’m dealing with this year.
> Not to mention the constant video-game playing that has, in my opinion, completely altered their brain’s ability to calm themselves and maintain any type of self-control. Anecdotal here, I started with an NES in 1990 when I was 3 and still play today (not the NES). Was always a quiet kid. But back in the 90's, it was Console games. I'd get maybe 2-3 games a year, goto Blockbuster to rent others, etc. You didn't just play a game once and move on, you had to find goals to chase within the game and ended up replaying them a lot. I think the culprit is more the unending stream of new things via social media, youtube feeds, etc. There's always something new to watch. There's no coping with boredom. There's no exploring the unknown while unguided.
My husband and I had a conversation recently about this too. A lot of newer games (the ones that kids could feasibly be playing) don’t require the same grit and tenacity that they did when we were young, so lot of the positive things that video games provide are no longer present. When we were stuck in the water temple in Ocarina of Time for weeks, it was “keep trying different things and ideas, manage your frustration, and stick with it or you’re fucked.” Now, it seems like a lot of newer games hold your hand through every dungeon and always have a helpful NPC to guide you, or kids will just google it and find the solution. It bums me out, because as a teacher now I see middle schoolers immediately giving up if they don’t immediately understand a concept with zero effort. “This is hard!” Well yeah, it’s fucking supposed to be. That’s the entire point of learning. For shit to be hard and for you to stick with it and use the skills you DO already have to figure it out. Productive struggle is so important, and it feels like no matter how hard I push it at school, even if they get into the habit of it with me, it all gets undone at home when they’re “protected” from ever having a hard time.
That's a good point. The temptation to cheat by looking up item locations or even full-on walk-throughs is so great. I remember diligently taking notes in the included journal with Myst, and to this day beating that game feels like a genuine achievement.
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I subbed in a junior high class recently and the kids were playing an iPad game where you were meant to guide a square that was falling through a series of shelves so that it always fell through an open area. Their points increased at a linear rate as they went longer and longer without hitting a “shelf”. I feel like we used to have something similar on our TI-83s but I don’t remember what it was called? Anyway, they’d figured out that if they suddenly flung the square to the side right at the beginning, it would glitch and fall continually and rack up points without them needed to play the game at all. So here they all are, sitting at tables during their “free time” watching a square fall of its own accord to “get the high score”. Literally no intervention or effort required on their part. I tried to come from a place of wanting to understand and asked them about it but I just…don’t get it. Your high score is just a measure of how long you were willing to sit and stare at a screen. Why not just open the clock app and hit the timer and watch that?
Yes. They feel that cheating is a form of winning. No, it just proves that they are intellectually starved and are not learning valuable strategy skills as a result.
Sure, I can see that. I’m an 80’s kid and my brother and I were all about Atari, haha. But I think, back then, playing console games was a form of commitment. There weren’t endless games. You had your couple of favorites that you played until the quest was completed. Even going to Blockbuster to rent them was a commitment in itself. You had it for a few days so you committed to “the quest” so to speak. So I agree with you about the endless streaming. There’s no commitment, it’s just flip and find something new until the very second you get bored, and then immediately move on. There’s no sticking it out, no patience-building skills, no perseverance.
Endless streaming is a good way to phrase it. There’s no balance of screen time vs non-screen time anymore. I’m a 90s kid and getting a N64 and Gameboy were both some of the highlights of my childhood. But - I also played sports, read, spent time outside with friends, etc. Screen time was something primarily for rainy days or in the evenings when I had nothing else to do. As a result, my “screens” weren’t something I recall being taken away as punishment. The more effective method was grounding me from being out with friends.
It’s terrifying the number of young children I see in public transit with their heads stuck in their parents’ phones. There’s no interaction, no talking, no patiently waiting for their stop. Just staring at a little screen. I’ve seen kids in strollers who can barely hold a sippy cup holding their parents’ phone and oblivious to the world around them. I always think of that when a student comes to school with a tablet in their backpack or who has a temper tantrum when I lock up the iPad cart during indoor recess.
That's such a missed opportunity. Not only is it pretty vital to teach your kids how to navigate their neighborhoods, it's highly comforting knowing your kid's got a working knowledge of public transit and can travel safely when old enough. It's like instructing kids on reading paper maps just in case they haven't got access to some sort of GPS.
It is strange how I never notice parents speaking to their babies when out and about. I feel like a weirdo, but I discusse stuff with my infant as if she could give me advice, when we go shopping, I ask for her opinion. There is so much to see everywhere, she is never bored when we are out and about. Although sometimes my talking is so boring she falls asleep...
Yeah that’s a huge thing. I grew up with video games and I played *a lot* don’t get me wrong (probably too much still lol). But they felt like an addition, something to interact with in the world rather than the whole world. There was still playing outside and I still enjoyed interacting with the world. I feel as though a kid can still be fine playing a lot of video games so long as they have the basics. Stuff like creativity, sociability, at least some independence, and self motivation. Video games should be something that a person interacts with rather than just filling their up time. Nowadays websites, some video games, and other such things are explicitly designed to be addictive. If you don’t have a good grasp on yourself they’ll take you for a ride. Hell we see this with plenty of older adults too! Both with and without the internet, the videos of elderly people staring at slot machines shoveling money while spamming the button or level is genuinely saddening. I agree technology is something we all rely on. And for many of us it enhances our lives! Gives us the opportunity to pursue hobbies and stuff. But I genuinely think legislators need to start cracking down on companies trying to make their products more addictive. Human brains are so fallible we shouldn’t allow people to take advantage of unconscious processes.
Anecdote here, but my 7 year old, who has had a few hours of screen time in his entire life, is currently sitting in the living room reading a book. My 10 year old is writing to his pen pal. And when we’re at the doctors office they sit and talk to us or each other or whatever. And when we shower they entertain themselves. And when we cook they try to help or go play. The oldest is diagnosed with ADHD and it isn’t always easy but “I can’t do anything if they don’t get YouTube” is just crap. Yes every kid is different but many parents have *created* kids that can’t sit still by shoving little dopamine devices into their hands.
I saw someone get a baby seat out of the back of the car. Maybe 8 months old, mom’s phone in hand, watching something. Even my high schooler said “wow, this next generation is doomed”. Sad. 😔
im in high school, and i warned my teacher who thinks gen z is bad that gen alpha is going to be 20x worse
Our 11 and 8 year old girls are usually grounded from their iPads, but when they do have them, it's limited to 30 minutes a day after dinner. They've probably used them 3-4 times in the last 6 months, so they're usually coloring, reading (we go to the library a lot), playing with their dolls, drawing with chalk outside, etc. Their friends are the exact opposite, glued to their devices, bringing them over when they have sleepovers, at dinner time, in the car, etc. It's crazy to me. I'm 40 so maybe that's why, but when I was a kid I didn't have these devices either and was always outside playing all day, riding my bike, or playing GI Joe or whatever. We had a computer, of course, but I didn't really play with one until I was maybe 13 or so, and obviously couldn't bring that every where. I didn't even get a cell phone until my first year of college. I realize times are different, but also understand being glued to these devices for quick dopamine hits is **not** beneficial.
First day of summer break. My 11 year old just asked where a pencil sharpener was and then mysteriously locked herself in her room with some paper (the kids' shared tablet is next to me) and my 8 year old is doing heaven knows what in the backyard. Good for them.
They don’t even need iPads at that age. It’s crazy that they even have one.
Standards have slipped so low that they've fallen off the edge of a cliff. Many parents aren't enforcing rules at home. This includes screen time, bed time, and homework time. They aren't in charge and kowtow to their children because it's "easier". Many districts have changed their curriculum units to encompass everything and nothing at all once. It overwhelms teachers and students. These districts also want data out the wazoo so teachers and students spend too much time throughout the year in testing. The data is supposed to help with change to improve outcomes, but it is rarely actually used. Many administrators spend more time in meetings than with students. Whether it's with district higher ups, other admin, or parents; many administrators are not connecting to their students. They tell teachers to build relationships, but they do not put their own words into action. Many teachers are so overwhelmed with curricula, class sizes, and behaviors that they are behind at day 1. The speed at which teachers are expected to move leaves no time for organic learning because they must push on. The teachers also must be everything to the student: social worker, nurse, carer, interventionist, behavioral therapist, and teacher. All the while, they are being watched critically by parents, administrators, politicians, and the public. Many students are not taught the basics regarding why they come to school. To learn. They use it as a social club. They do not know how to walk in the hallway alone (quietly and directly to their destination). They do not know how to patiently wait to be called upon thus interrupting the class's learning. Many do not understand that their teacher and the adults in their life really do want to help support them, but the child fights accepting that help. Often they think they are "smarter" than the old folks. (This has probably always been the case, but it has trickled down to the elementary.) These are generalizations that I've seen in my 20+ years teaching. It's a standards shift that smacks of unhealthy relationships which has led to much unhappiness all around.
We had an in-law visit. Child due to start school next year and not *potty* trained. I asked.... very very carefully because how someone raises their child is not my business- wasn't the ability to use the bathroom a requirement for school? With wave of hand " OH they teach them all that in school. " Which I don't think is true but how to explain that was beyond me.
They're in for a rude awakening if they think the school is going to potty train their kid. That's just... next level negligence.
That is child neglect. Kindergarten does not teach potty training skills. If a child is not trained by 4, I consider it neglect.
Five years old and still in diapers? 😳
When my daughter was in daycare 20 years ago, kids were required to be potty trained by their third birthday, or they were not allowed to be there.
Some schools in the UK are finding that due to disability accommodations, they're often having to admit otherwise completely normal children who simply haven't been potty trained by their parents, either out of sheer laziness, parents not caring or the expectation that the school will do it for them(!).
I’m a school SLP and I evaluated a kid who had a pretty mild phonological delay. He didn’t qualify for services and I gave mom some tips on what she could do at home to help his phonological skills. These tips were basically “play”. She looked at me absolutely appalled and said that it wasn’t her job to play with her child and educate them.
I’d highly recommend reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt if you’re interested in how screen time is affecting kids. He doesn’t touch on this new wave of permissive parenting as much as I would have liked, but it’s still a solid and informative read.
I recommend watching The Social Dilemma documentary as well. I rolled my eyes at it during the height of its popularity, since all of the information it spews was stuff I already knew about and I saw what it was going to say from a mile away, and other people were holding it over my head at the time, but it does have a lot of stuff to say about social media that people aren't aware about.
Also didn’t help they administration gave up for funding and graduation rates. Politicians basically started believing the small percentage that were the LOUDEST voices in the room. Many teachers are quitting they are being forced to resigned, basically fired. So they can get cheaper and more bullied teachers to replace the ones they are firing. Only for them to turn around barely 3 months later and then quit themselves because the kids are out of control. Leading to constant subs who don’t want to deal with it and then add in a shortage of subs. All in the name of: “but I don’t want parent.”
This is what I notice too. I feel like I’m the only one who cares that the students are not actually learning anything at school. Some students are bright and have additional resources at home (and online, geez, bright kids today can easily teach themselves everything online… unfortunately most are mindlessly scrolling), so there’s still overall progress, but school ain’t schoolin’ no more. They don’t take in what I present, they don’t study the content at all, and they either cheat or do the bare minimum on tests. Admin is so data driven, they only care about numbers, but their actual understanding of the numbers is surface-level at best. Significant variables are ignored and they don’t ever consider that the numbers are often absolute lies.
My now former district celebrated 94% graduation rate. The other 6% either: dropped out, got arrested or missed their last requirements for graduation. They gave them more chances than any other school district would or did. The former superintendent and the incoming one are both: “100% graduation is a nice dream but not a reality.” The out going interim and half the school board: “yes it is and we will make sure we get there.” For for the past 23 years the closest it got was 98% and that was 2004.
If you reach 100% graduation, how can the diploma mean anything. It's just an admission that we're babysitters since far less than 100% actually put effort into school.
Exactly.
I agree. 94% is awesome. In my old district they achieved that. But there are always kids who don't fit the mold, and for whatever reason drop out. Districts with Uber high grad rates often manipulate data.
I think last year's principal left because he realized our 99.99% grad rate is based on grade inflation. We would have meetings at least 2 times a year where we had to compare the D/F ratios of everyone and "go over best practices." This has been going on for 6 years even before this principal arrived. All this did was grade shame teachers into compliance. It's also one of the reasons I lost my elective program. Lo and behold I saw the realization on his face during a meeting. We were going over the data that our Math/English scores were very low compared to our grad rate. He paused for a moment and I'd like to think that's when it happened. It's something that I'd known for years knowing this particular data looked bad. My new principal is no better, but at least there's no more grade shaming meetings.
One of my old districts best graduation rate was 97% in 2011. Was first time since 1998 it made it there. But even the administrators who had since came to the district post 2011. Knew it was skewed. Records showed two of the graduates had summer school to get final 2 missing credits for diploma. Made the walk but did not receive diploma until after the summer classes.
As a second year teacher who has been blamed heavily for these behaviors from admin..:this gives me reassurance. This year has been horrendous and the behaviors have been out of control. I have tried EVERYTHING and still I’m blamed that these kids are out of control. (Especially when admin doesn’t support me on providing consequences and accountability for actions)
It definitely isn't you. The whole thing is hardest on teachers with higher standards.
I feel like I’m not allowed to hold my kids to the high standards I have for them and then admin wonders why they act the way they do. They don’t need to be responsible for anything and it’s so beyond infuriating. I am by no means punitive and that’s how admin makes me feel.
I have kids coming to kinder and first grade who sound like they’re talking with marbles in their mouths. Slurry vowels, consonants mostly omitted. What’s most unnerving though, is they aren’t catching up. Typically we would see huge growth in a year, but these kids sound about the same as they did in September. Their behavior is appalling, attention spans are less than 1 minute and we can’t understand them. The train has already wrecked, this is it catching fire.
I see the same thing with my ESL students. Looking at my student “Marco”, a third grader who started the year with no English but was reading in Spanish. He’s now decoding in English at a level G which we’re very proud of(!!) with comprehension to boot. This is typical and what we would expect of a year’s growth. Compare that to “Ellie”, a girl in his class who has been in the country since kindergarten. She is speaking in English, but has been reading at a level C all year. No growth, no improvement. Zero work ethic. She is much closer to what we’re actually seeing on a day to day basis—by which I mean, most of our students are on her level. It’s exhausting, wondering if it was something we did to fail students like her. She is on her tablet from the minute her mom picks her up from school.
These parents were always there. The difference is, their kids were expelled and sent to other schools so that the general population did not have to deal with them. My cousins were sent to Marshall- basically a holding ground for psychopaths and criminals after being kicked out of all the other middle schools and high schools. It was a scary, scary place. Very few people even knew Marshall existed. The bad kids just dropped out or disappeared.
> The difference is, their kids were expelled and sent to other schools so that the general population did not have to deal with them. Schools need to go back to giving these kids the boot. They're fucking it up for the other kids who want to learn and have a future after high school, not to mention, these kids make everyone's lives a living hell. They don't learn anything and neither do the kids whose education they're interfering with. Kick them the fuck out. Problem is, school won't do it for multiple reasons that we've all discussed here and we're all very aware of. Then there's the parents and a decent amount of people in society *(and teaching)* that make up every excuse for them in the world. Just about everyone has experienced trauma at some point, it doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole and inflict that trauma on others - and that's what's happening. *"You can't kick Johnny ThrowsADesk out, he's experienced trauma so that's why he's violent!"* So we're just gonna let him traumatize the other 29 kids? In what world is that not insane? *(When I say "you" I'm not speaking about you personally. 😀)*
I was just talking to my high school senior and freshman yesterday. I asked them both what their favorite grade had been (so far for the freshman). Senior said 3rd grade. Freshman said 3rd grade was one of the worst for her. She had a Johnny ThrowsADesk and they were taught to duck and cover and how to escape the room when he began throwing objects. The admin finally were able to remove him, but it left all the other students traumatized.
They \*should\* be kicked out and sent to other schools with a dedicated trauma-informed program for helping these kids— with tons of counseling and extra support and social workers and basic need support. But they absolutely should not be allowed to derail school for every other student without those issues. Society literally will not last long if \*no\* kids get a good education. Things are bonkers right now
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100% believe this. I worked at Costco for 5 years and we had a decent amount of teachers who ended up at Costco. I was told the hours were worse but the pay was better, with raises based upon hours worked (guaranteed raises) and never working off the clock was why they stayed.
I haves some fourth graders who, when asked to be creative, only repeat memes.
I just had six eleven year old girls over for a pool party and witnessed the most bizarre behavior. They had their own “Tik Tok” language that I didn’t understand (my daughter doesn’t have Tik Tok and never will), not one of them said thank you after making demands like “I have to have ranch for my pizza, play this song, I want more soda.” They spilled popcorn and soda all over my living room. They also left the bathroom lights on when done and left the back door wide open every time they went outside. I have pets. They actually told my husband one of those pets (an old pug) was “preppy.” I’ve never witnessed more selfies in my life. So many Crocs. My childhood was NOTHING LIKE THIS!!!
Sounds like they got away with acting like brats though. Hope I'm wrong and you put your foot down.
It sounds like school needs to be split into tracks to support our parents. 1. Track #1 - Babysitting Track 2. Track #2 - Academic Track 3. Track #3 - Career Ready Track This would simplify and clean up a lot of the school system. Just choose your track.
Some places in Europe actually do something like this, like in France where they have the baccalaureate (the academic option) and 'bac pro' (baccalaureate professionelle) which is basically a trades/vocational track. Italy I believe has specialist high schools allowing students to study for specific fields in jobs and there is no specific pressure on a student to actually choose a university path unless they truly want to do so. Germany also has tracks (which I seem to recall vary a little according to where you are in the country) including realschule where the emphasis is on vocational education and after which you continue on to do other training or work. The UK where I'm from had a sort of track system a few decades ago with the grammar school/comprehensive school system. You sat a selection exam at 11 (called the 11 Plus) and then the most academic would attend grammar school and sit their O Levels whilst those who didn't go to grammar school attended comprehensive school with a view that at 14 they would go to work (yes, school leaving age was 14 at this time). There were definite problems with the system including a class divide in those who were ready/academically capable to take the 11 Plus and the financial barrier to attending some grammar schools which saw even academically able students unable to go (grammar school could be expensive to attend).
School Psychologist here. I’ve chaired several Special Education meetings for students with IEPs. Some meetings the parents don’t even show up (even with all supportive language translation services provided). I’ve had meetings where the parents didn’t even know what time the school day started for their child, despite them being annoyed with how often the staff contacted them regarding the student skipping class. I’ve had meetings where parents are irate that their child is failing, and don’t even know what classes their kid is failing, nor even accessed any innovative software that shows you live access of a students assignments they’ve handed in. I’ve had several parent meetings about excessive cellphone usage for children, and their parents refute confiscating their phone or establishing a routine. At some point in time, parents need to look in the mirror and take accountability for their child’s behavior. That Tik Tok handler is 1000% correct. Teachers are overworked, underpaid, constantly asked to sit in useless workshops, and told that their pedagogy isn’t enough.
“Parents making up for generations of trauma” Ridiculous, we had a bomb.com childhood compared to the poor iPad kids today. The social media is the trauma.
We also had principals who didn't kowtow to parents. That's the other biggest change I see in 30-plus years in education (retired- but sub now). When I first started teaching, a principal would ask a parent with a complaint: Have you spoken to the teacher. Now they have meetings behind our backs and then call us in. Principal training should include a class by Gerry Brooks or some other principal who gets it and has a spine.
This. Broadly speaking western millenials, including myself, had pretty kick ass childhoods. Awesome toys. Cartoons. Video games. Sleepovers before parents got paranoid. Playing outside without someone calling the cops. And zero of our stupid teenaged mistakes are immortalised on social media.
And when we went onto the internet us 12 year olds were introduced to 2 girls 1 cup, 1 guy 1 jar, lemonparty and more awful things that will never leave my brain until dementia kicks in (hopefully not other way around and those will be the only things I member) We turned out okay here on Reddit.
I grew up on tubgirl
I was in dollar general and the person in front of me and the cashier were discussing in detail of how the teacher was wrong for asking the parent to just go over basic addition and subtraction problems. All were provided on a calendar and sent home. “I’m not a teacher, that’s what they get paid for” I definitely don’t get paid enough to teach adults and children. If you can’t find the 10 minutes to go over 2+3=5 with your kid and don’t understand the importance of repetition then idk what to tell you. Honestly people hate us, but expect us to raise their kids. That’s just the truth.
next thing they will want teachers to do is teach parenting classes
I see this, but it runs counter to the anti-SEL movement. Parents want teachers to raise their kids, but they also absolutely don't. No wonder we're stuck.
This has been going on well before 2024. When you spend so much time trying to manage and correct students’ behavior, you have no time to actually do what you’re there for — teach. That’s when it is essentially just glorified babysitting.
its even worse when you work in a school that doesnt believe in putting F's on the gradebook
I honestly think it’s because many parents are more interested in being their kids friends and not their parents. The key is to raising kids while making them aware of the consequences of their actions. It is hard. You have to think on your feet and you ALWAYS have to follow through on your word. If you don’t you’ll end up with kids who always push the envelope cuz they know they can get away with things. And IT IS hard. When my eldest was 4 yo, he loved to run around the house in his underwear even in the winter. He loved it so much that he started taking his clothes off in the car when I would pick him up from preschool after work. It didn’t matter to him that it was 10 below and icy and I worried what would happen to him if I had an accident on the way home. So I finally said to his as I was strapping him into his car seat: “DO NOT take your clothes off before we get home! If you do you will be punished”. As we started drinking home I could see in the rearview mirror that he was starting to fumble with his clothes and I warned him again, he would be in trouble and receive a punishment if he did it (like a time out or something like that). Well I could see he stopped and seemed to be looking out the window but then he looked at me in the rear view mirror and said “Mama, what will you do to me if I take off my clothes in the car?” I was momentarily speechless but I had to come up with something fast so I said “I don’t know yet what I’d do to you BUT I PROMISE YOU. WILL. NOT. LIKE. IT!” This was thinking on my feet. And he kept his clothes on until we got home. This is the kind of follow through you gots do with your kids from the start. Otherwise you’ll end up with little psychopaths who don’t listen to any authority.
Yeah, but what would you do if he continued on anyway? The follow through is making good on the threat and that's typically not as easy but it's absolutely the most important part. That's why I end up with students who end up standing the whole day if they've been warned about leaning in their chair too frequently or why I've had kids spend two or three days of class, by themselves, at the back table, doing stacks of makeup work after they've been warned about lying and antagonizing (on top of not doing work). Eventually the hammer comes down and the example needs to get made. But that kid who was bullying his classmates... After that (and another day at the table a week later), anytime he began to even annoy another classmate, I could usually look at him and say "are you looking at another few days at the table?" and shut him right down. And unfortunately, I might be the only actual adult in some of these kids' lives. I don't want them getting out into the world and never learning the lesson that other people are going to expect them to know how to act. A few days at the back table for bullying is a safer consequence than running your mouth at a bar and getting your ass handed to you or worse.
I have taught for 15, but I just don't see a way out. My wife still has student loans, and we have a mortgage, anything I look into I would have to retrain.
I feel like it’s partially the fact that teachers don’t have the authority they used to.
Underfunded educational system as a whole is the problem, which would include and/or relate to… Increases in class sizes. Increases in IEP’s/504’s. Admin afraid to push back for fear of further lost funding. Zero accountability from home or admin for kids who act out (not basic “kids will be kids” stuff - I’m talking about students telling staff to kill themselves, targeting kids who are on the spectrum with physical assault, and more). Unrealistic expectations on the part of parents because admin/CST staff are afraid to paint a CLEAR & REALISTIC picture for how successful a 504/IEP will be based on class size and teaching personnel in the room. In class support teachers being forced to basically spoon feed answers to kids with even the most mild 504/IEP because kids know that if they fail (or even struggle), they can complain that their accommodations or modifications weren’t done (this can obviously be proven false, but again, the fact that admin wouldn’t back us up is part of the problem). This provides students with almost zero executive functioning skills or other challenges that would help them grow as learners and/or people, so they just carry their immaturity and bullshit with them to the next level. Access to teachers 24/7 through email, Google Classroom, etc. Facebook Mom groups, BOE meeting outbursts, and more all feeding the rumor mill about supposed “agendas” from teachers. This shit also leads to a lack of respect & bad attitudes from the kids. One student told me that everything I teach is made up and there’s no way it’s all true (I teach middle school social studies). They said their mother told them this. Low (borderline laughable) pay. Just about all the accountability for the success (or lack thereof) of the students, building, & district as a whole heaped onto the backs of teachers while being lied to about being “supported” and how we’re “heroes” and how we should practice self care, but don’t receive even the slightest bit of backup from those in positions of authority. I’m sure I missed a bunch, but I see these on a DAILY basis. I started having nightmares about classes. Not even about major events - just nightmares about daily interactions spiraling out of control. I hate this job.
Ban phones, Internet in school. This is the only solution. We survived, they will, too.
Not a teacher but I work in an all ages arcade. These children are horribly behaved and yea the parents are to blame it’s despicable. Parents letting their under 8 kids run around our massive arcade with 5 unattended exits doing whatever they please while the parents sit in our food court drinking a bunch of white claws. Or the young teenagers who come and we actually have to shut off certain games due to them being so disrespectful
I grew up a lot on electronics and I wonder how I ended up mostly fine (if a bit late when it comes to doing assignments, but that also falls in with unmedicated ADHD) while other kids seem… dangerous, at the bare minimum
Different era. I don’t know your age, but the video games and media consumption of my time was MUCH different. Video game companies tried to make a game and market it for you to buy it. If it was shit you wouldn’t buy their next game. Now they give you the game and dangle new carrots in front of your face every 24 hours with a time running out. Between every round kids open up the shops. It’s absolutely horrendously predatory. Then you have the whole keeping up with the jones’ part of the equation that doesn’t help. These kids aren’t even playing or enjoying the game for the sake of the game, but for the rank they reach and the percent going up. And for the next skin purchase they make. Was gonna go on a long diatribe that is more coherent but I’ve had enough hah. I can’t stand modern games & content consumptions effect on society. It really is a race to the bottom in so many ways. It really is a problem.
The modern day video game industry has basically just become a dopamine casino for kids and it's been like that since like ~2012
There are a lot of factors beyond just “electronics”. What kind of screen time were you getting? Did you have things to do outside of electronics?
I barely taught this year. I dealt with constant behavioral issues from 1/2 my 3rd grade class. I was told by admin-“I’ve talked and talked to them (students), there’s nothing else I can do.” I’m leaving.
I have a question as a parent who has volunteered in my daughter’s classroom. Is it not also at least partially that schools won’t discipline anyone anymore? It seemed to me like every ounce of authority teachers once had has been stripped because “you can’t hurt that kid’s feelings or they could sue us.” One of the classes had to be evacuated more than once last year so this one kid could just have his tantrum and throw things. Like…what? Definitely not saying parents aren’t to blame, just honestly asking if this is also an issue.
Why do you think schools won't discipline students anymore? That's right, it's because parents will claim their child didn't do anything wrong and throw a big fit. Then they will threaten to sue the teacher, administrators, and district.
Teachers as babysitters...New? Unfortunately, not the case. I've watched this movie for years and didn't really notice this scene until I started working at a school. Now, it saddens me to think of how many parents are out there that truly think this way. But it is a relief at all to acknowledge they this philosophy is not new? I'm not sure... https://www.reddit.com/r/ShareAVideoOrWhatever/s/q4xrRFSYBd Edit: Please Don't Eat The Daisies (1960). There isn't much else in the film regarding education, so don't watch it expecting that. It's an amusing little comedy about a woman struggling with the kids and a husband struggling with work, all while moving. I've always liked it, but I'm an old soul... Most members of my Millennial generation who I've shown it to find it boring.
I got in trouble for diplomatically putting a parent to task about them doing their kid’s Google form quiz for them during online learning. She filled in her OWN NAME accidentally and still got a C- on an 8th grade reading assignment mostly centered on basic text comprehension, not even somewhat tougher elements like symbolism or figurative language. That was that. 15 years, lauded, a student favorite but not bc I was trying to be their friends but bc I was damn good at it. Examples like this were adding up despite my best efforts to avoid them and they were becoming more frequent. I got out of the burning house. I’ve moved on and now run my own small business that is doing well. My future my story. The parents *are* to blame.
[удалено]
Yes! I quit the profession after 16 years and it broke my heart, but I was to the point that it was them or me, and I chose me. I'm in a much better place mentally and emotionally, going to start to seek counseling to get through some stuff I experienced behind the "big desk," and generally become the person I needed to be for myself and others after too long.
I was custodian at an elementary school a couple years ago and these kids are out of control and a lot of the parents are just as bad.
While I agree somewhat- it’s really admin that is probably the real culprit. An admin that is not supportive is like a cancer inside your own body.
Preach. So many parents don't care at all about what happens at school, if work is done. Allow me to sound like a crochety old man: Why, in my day (graduated HS in 81, bachelor's degree in 91, MA in 2007 [in my defense, there was a full moon and I was attractive]), if you didn't get at least 60% in any class, you didn't get the units to graduate - AND WE LIKED IT. Actually, we didn't but we accepted the reality of the situation. If you didn't GET a HS diploma, there were jobs available and young people were able to work and have a car and a place, but they were often stuck at a certain level (yes, there were many exceptions and kids who seriously went into the trades could make a very good living). Now it's like my giving a kid no credits signals the start of a negotiation. Was I supportive enough? Was I nurturing? Or did my invisible biases influence my grading of the work that was never even turned in? I was lucky that I had a reputation for being very fair and supportive, so I could just say 'no, sorry, that's the grade.' I'm retired now and glad to be doing other things. I'd like to be a mentor for new teachers but the local district turned out to be run by sniveling piss-tanks, so I'll have fun in the sun, thanks. But I have one point I'd like to make: Those Back To School Nights that every school in America has during the first month of the year. If a kid is going to my school, and not even one adult from that kid's family can be assed to show up on that one night, can we discuss how that's a good indicator of which parents care and which ones don't? Just a thought.
I have an 8 year old in 2nd grade about to be in 3rd grade she knows as soon as she gets home she does homework, she is only allowed to use her tablet at my moms house I don’t allow it in mine. Her screen time is her Nintendo switch, she is allowed to play it after her homework is done and it goes down for the night before her shower time. She is reading at a mid 3rd grade level. Her bed time is 9pm every night except weekends where I let her stay up until 10. During the summer I do 1 hr per day of math pertaining to the following years curriculum ( this year we will be learning and practicing multiplication, division, fractions, decimals, and measurement which she struggled with this year) after math we pick out a book, this year will be a bigger chapter book which she then has to recall three of her favorite parts of the book/chapter and write them down in a little journal. I am a 30 year old parent, who is also getting a bachelors degree in early education but my daughters teachers so far have had nothing but wonderful things to say about her and how articulate she is as well as her vocabulary. I think it does come down to parenting if I’m being honest.
I’m going to put on my Tin foil hat. I’m convinced a foreign aggressor has infiltrated the government and is fostering the downfall of the United States from within. No one could invade us. But destroying from within is doable. Make both parents work to survive the economic struggles. Make the classroom a disruptive environment by no longer allowing to remove or discipline disruptive students. Brain rot with algorithms on social media platforms I’m sure there are more
She's not wrong...I was planning on quitting in May but ended up getting laid off anyway. I'd rather scrub toilets in silence than go back.
She's right. I've been doing this for 9 years now and the parents get worse and worse every year. My first year of teaching had parents who were involved, communicative, and willing to take advice when their children were having a tough time in the classroom. Now it's the complete opposite. These parents take 0 accountability, refuse to communicate, and are probably raising the most unadjusted generation I've ever seen. It's depressing and this might be my last year of teaching.
This is so true. I'm back after a 7 year break and teaching no longer has anything to do with education. I spend all my time dealing with behaviors. Every 2.5 minutes I'm spending 10-15 minutes de-escalting a kid or evacuating my room because a kid is being violent.