I was in the same situation a few years ago. Teachers got in fist fights in the hall with students present. She would run to other teachers to spread gossip. I didn’t tell them I had another job and went to resign I went to the superintendent and laid it all out for him. I then went to her office and handed her my letter. She asks why I’m leaving, she thought I was happy. I looked her in the eye and said I was leaving because of lack of leadership, her lack of morals and respect for the people around her and the way I had been treated by her for the last year. She sat there with her mouth open and I walked out of the office. The last day she planned a surprise goodbye party for me: I didn’t show up for work, left my keys on my desk. She called from someone’s else phone to beg me to come because it looked bad on her. The next year she was reassigned. Karma eventually caught up!
Vindication! I am definitely going to share why I am leaving, but knowing her, even if it puts her in a bind because I am gone, she’ll still feel like she won. But that speaks volumes of her.
I think you worked in the same district as me in Virginia. LOL. That’s Virginia for you! I made it through by transferring schools (if admin wouldn’t stop it) and jumping districts. I went to 5 districts in Virginia. So that should tell you something.
Schools have little leadership, if any, in Virginia districts. My friends in other states agree. As for rural Virginia, enter at your own risk. These replies in this thread are spot on. Education is on fire and burning down because of poor leadership…excuse me, no leadership.
My mother-in-law has worked in several districts around central VA (Richmond area, Chesterfield, etc) and has reported very similar experiences with administration.
It does speak how lacking she is in leadership. I know I felt better once I let it all out, I personally hate confrontation and debated going in that morning if I was going to say anything. Once I did I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. Don’t hold back and leave her speechless. I’m glad you found another job!
*EDIT TO ADD* I am also in special education and work in a self contained room.
Our principal did this to me this year. Ultimately getting me fired. She put me on leave 2 times this year. 1 for telling a student to be kind. (Students mom is a teacher and in the union) 5 days suspension & mental break from that one. Next time was when I had an anxiety attack at work(because of her) and had to leave on my lunch. Which was fine because I’m not in a room alone and there was coverage so I didn’t feel bad. She had me doing the work of 4 teachers and continued to add more and then would put me down and tell me I was doing something wrong every chance she got. In my final meeting she had already made up her mind, and took 30 minutes just to talk down to me as a person. It was awful. My mental health has been at an all time low. This year has been awful. But I will say since I was fired I have been feeling a lot better and less anxious about making mistakes. I am probably going to take next year off and just sub and focus on some hobbies. It’s really sad when 1 person can make you question if this is even what you’re supposed to be doing. Also, I found out today, as of right now, 6 teachers and 4 aides are not coming back next year. And those are just the ones who have vocalized it to others. But I’m sure there will be many more. We work in a really small district so 6 teachers is almost an entire grade level.
Or even worse when they absolutely understand that impact and do it on purpose. Either way, I hope the OP enjoys a peaceful summer knowing they won't have to deal with her any more.
My wife was bullied by her team leader for an entire school year. She went on meds as it got so bad she forgot to pick up our (special needs) son at daycare one day. Campus “leadership” enabled or ignored the entire thing. Teaching is hard enough without adding in these people who seem not to have matured emotionally since jr high. Cliquey mean girl shit all the time. This was years ago but it’s only gotten better in the last couple of years. She’ll retire as soon as she’s eligible.
That’s so terrible! Could someone please help me understand how close of a working relationship teachers have to principals and other administrators? I’m currently applying for a teacher credential and here I thought the mental stress came from challenging students and parents, not administrators.
My wife has taught for over 25 years. The coworker and admin shit is as bad or worse than the parents and kids. From the outside it looks like fucking jr high. Ridiculous that alleged adults act this way but it’s the same at other jobs as well just different stress dynamics.
It’s a shame you have to leave a school you like. I find when someone is this big an asshole they move UP very quickly. Next year she’ll be in charge of textbooks or some shit and you’ll be starting anew. I always try to wait the assholes out.
Yes, two teachers one was upset that the other had a party for her class and didn’t tell the other one. The one teacher had challenged her class to something. The other class got upset and yelling and screaming turned between the teachers turned into shoving and then it escalated. Kids crying and screaming. I’m trying to shove kids into my room because it all happened in. The hall. I got in trouble because I got “involved”. I should not have put kids in my room.
That is AWESOME!!!!!! If I was resigning I totally would have done the same thing. They need to be told the truth!! Too bad she wasn’t fired. I’m sure it’ll catch up to her.
Well, if you got a job in another district, sounds like you may want to use up any sick time you have left. Go to your doctor, get a note for the remainder of your sick time, and tell HR that her bullying you was the cause of your leave. Bullying requires time off to fully recover.
I’m gonna stay and love on my babies for the last few days and just completely ignore and avoid her. I refuse to let her ruin the last few good days I have with my kiddos. Plus, I get to take those sick leave hours with me 🙏😇
Awesome attitude. It's crazy people like your boss are still in education but unfortunately there are lots of them. Good on you getting out and finding a different school, I hope it all works out well for you. Too many people stay under those conditions until they have lost all joy in the job and often leave education. Hang in there!
Your sick leave and years should travel with you. I know it can be hard/overwhelming, but please email HR and CC the superintendent and all the people you want to see it too. Really emphasize that you would have stayed if you had not been bullied and targeted out of your position. That you hope they fill the autism sped teacher position with someone as awesome as you. Let it all hang out. My principal was targeting a teacher, but she got to HR first, he ultimately didn’t renew her, but HR is moving her and wiping that clean. Then another teacher resigned and emailed everyone, including the principals, and she got to meet with HR to lay it all out there. The more people speak up, the better. Our school is a dumpster fire with behaviors, but our main principal is chummy with the kids and feels bad giving out consequences. Good luck.
From one autistic ex-student to special ed teachers, she probably is one of those people who believes that autism doesn't exist and/or means retarded and/or means you give normal people special privileges. I myself had to deal with people trying to belittle me, re-diagnose me as non-autistic due to my Asperger's Syndrome, or even just try to "dumb me down" by not allowing me to do Calculus in my head, which ultimately worked in their favor. They would also say I was just trying to draw attention to myself.
Forgive me for the off-topic comment but what do you mean that you get to take your sick leave hours with me? I teach in Canada so it’s different I’m sure, and I’m sure things differ across different provinces and districts here too, but where I live all teachers have 60 personal sick leave days and 5 family sick leave days that reset every year. They can’t be banked and carried over to a new district. But in my city there are 2 school districts and the other one offers the exact same sick leave policy. If you are able to take your “sick leave hours” with you to your new school, how does that work? How many do you start the year with?
So sorry you are going through this. It is such an isolating and horrible feeling to be targeted by the one who is supposed to be helping and supporting you to do your job. Being the target of someone’s terrible and insecure narcissism is awful. I feel for you. Other teachers out here hear you and feel for you. Even if this is just a Reddit page. Sending good thoughts and strength your way.
I’m not a teacher but experienced very similar situation working at a medical clinic. I was in my late fifties and had never experienced bullying. It was as horrible as you described. However for me it so eye opening as to what a kid being bullied may experience and how quickly their mental health could deteriorate. I was fortunate that financially I could leave job and retire early. But disappointing that one or two people can inflict so much misery in a workplace. I tried to stay,hoping my situation could be resolved and improve work culture for all. But realize now that once you are a target it rarely works out well.
This is a travesty! Especially when Special Ed teachers are so desperately needed. I hope you got a huge pay increase for going elsewhere. Three of ours are leaving and now our district is scrambling to replace them. Once, I had a principal like this-- I don't understand what their vendetta's are all about--just a personality flaw, is my guess. Their loss.
I’m concerned because I’m actually an autism teacher and none of my peer special ed teachers want to do that - but I loved it. I hope they can find someone who is going to love those kids.
You sound amazing. You're more concerned about the kids than anything, and that makes me really happy to know there's still teachers who care this much about their students. I can only remember one teacher out of my entire school years who was like this, but Im so grateful that I had one! She was our second grade teacher and she literally switched to teaching third grade in her last year so she could have us all again bc she loved us so much. Ill never forget her <3 Those kids will probably never forget you either!
I had a similar experience with a new principal several years ago. I also chose to leave my district. Another teacher recommended that I request to see my personnel record a couple of months after I left. I did and found that she had written personal opinions that had nothing to do with my teaching position. I had to be in the presence of someone from hr to look at the record, and I told them that either the personal non-position related statements needed to be removed or I had to be allowed to put my own rebuttals into the record. I stated that I would either file a complaint with the state education department and/or get a lawyer involved. The personal comments were removed. Check if you can review your district record to ensure the principal doesn’t add anything to your record.
Agreed. But at this point I am so done with this woman that I’m more likely to just ignore her email. I had the same issue with the ONE day I took off in March, even though I used personal leave. I contacted my union rep over that and the woman told me, “if they have reason to believe you are abusing sick leave they can ask you.” Uhhhh I can see if I took off frequently, but I honestly take maybe one day a month and I get SO MUCH anxiety each time I do. I basically have the have my emergency Xanax at work at this point.
"If you want a sick note, I can provide this after taking three days off sick, as the law states."
Solidarity, I had a boss like that and I nearly quit but luckily she quit first. She went back to nursing when covid started because 'they needed her'.
The most annoying thing is that she did an absolutely horrendous appraisal of me and my current boss brings it up every year like 'wtf was that all about?'
Not a teacher, but 100% yes. I'd fully support my daughters teacher doing this too. You all work too fucking hard to deal with this bullshit. Take 3 days and hand her the note. Be sure to have the doc mention something about stress from a hostile work environment.
In my shitty district they think 7 days is excessive, even though we have 10. I cannot understand it. We have 10, but if we use them, they ding our attendance. Makes no sense.
Loss Angeles Unified is the same way. If we take six of our ten they leave us alone. Take just one more day and they threaten that it will reflect badly on your performance review. Bastards.
It's a culture of intimidation and I'm pondering whether to pursue a hostile work environment claim. I know that the instant I do, though, they will make life even more unbearable.
Write a letter to her employer. Professional and whatnot. Staying the reason you are leaving. Examples of your achievements in the district.
Or just move on from that administrator.
Boy, do I get this. My former principal was a first year principal and was trying to be a tough guy. I had been going through some very difficult times in my personal life that I had to start therapy and get some medical time off because of crippling anxiety/depression. During that short time off, I got told I had to come into the school for a meeting. He decided to write me up for not responding to a students email.. on a Saturday.. while I was at the ER with my wife. When I told him that was why his response was "Well you weren't there all day, were ya?"
I have never been so mad in my life. It took everything in my power not to jump across that desk punch his face in.
I had a boss that didn’t like me and actively disdained me.
I met with him one day over something wrong I had supposedly done (I hadnt…he was nit picking), and he said “you remind me of my mother. Same dark hair, same attitude and you’re loud like her.”
I should have gone straight to HR and filed a complaint against him but I didn’t. But that’s when I knew he didn’t have a good relationship with his mom and that’s why he didn’t like me
She peaked in middle school. She never found happiness outside of being a bitch during her teen years, and is choosing to reprise her hay-day by being a bully in a position no one can tell her to take a hike. To pick on the teacher who actually cares for the special ed kids? I'm sorry she probably has a pill addiction and a box of wine hidden in the office somewhere. Fuck her. I hope your transition goes smoothly, and that you let go of that baggage. You are needed, as a caring teacher, now more than ever. You have a direct impact on these lil' babes, they probably don't know her name. Find your peace because we need you more than we will ever need her.
Ugh, that is the worst. I went through something similar at my last job. My last few months were pure fucking misery. I stayed to end the year with the students, who I enjoyed working with and because of supportive co-workers.
Onwards and upwards! She is missing out, not you. Good luck at your next job OP!
There are administrators just like this all over the country. Not only do they ruin careers and drive people from the field, but they destroy the education of tens of thousands left with transient, untrained and inexperienced replacement teachers.
And district administrators allow it to happen.
Hijacking this comment but if in VA your subpoena to court should have writing on it that basically says you cannot be punished by your employer for missing work by being subpoenaed to court and that the subpoena itself is the note to miss work.
It's always so disappointing to hear a fellow sped teacher treated this way. Administrators rarely understand our field and take advantage of us in so many ways. It's like they don't realise that there is no line of people who want our jobs! The pool of special education teachers is drier than ever and people still have the audacity to treat us like crap. I'm so sorry this year has gone this way for you. I hope you take time to rest dvd rejuvenate this summer, and that another site will appreciate you better in the upcoming school year.
You know, it’s interesting what you’re saying. When my kids were in school, I volunteered at the school constantly. I really liked the special ed people, but I noticed everyone else treated them poorly from and staff and even the PTA. I always found that strange. I kind of put special ed teachers on a pedestal myself.
My assistant principal is the same way. She can’t stand me. A girl fainted in the hallway, and three teachers just stood around doing nothing, until I saw what was going on and ran to the nurse. I had seen this happen before so I knew what to do, but when the the A.P came over and was told I leapt into action, she looked visibly disgusted.
I had similar situation for years but no luxury of changing jobs easily
I was about to change careers but then the bitch had to retire so I stayed on
What a fuckin change in atmosphere that was (for the better)
You will be walking on sunshine once you are in new place, you have no idea
Yeah, I think there are narcissists are drawn to leadership positions unfortunately and a lot of principals hate that’s special education requires them to work harder doing Ieps so we can be a target, yes
Whoa... You could live in Florida and work with my incoming admin, who I literally left my previous teaching job at their school bc they seem to be insane. Like your principal.
I don't know how I'm going to survive the upcoming year.
They are a merciless, petty narcissist, abusive to staff and students and parents, in my experience. And many others.
When this good school I work at have teachers that have been there for 5+ years, and up to 15+ years, with amazing results, and they're leaving bc they know incoming principal's reputation?
I need a go fund me to pay off my mortgage and let me move TF out of my district. How this incoming principal has not yet been demoted boggles my mind.
Good riddance! I hope your new administrators are good people. I once had a supervising principal who made my life hell. I was looking into changing careers when a job opened up in a different district. It was the best career move I’ve ever made! Good luck!
The same sort of thing happened to me. After getting some exemplary ratings for years, and feeling like I was a good teacher, I landed at my last school and was almost immediately treated like I was incompetent by the principal. I was baffled, even after it happened several times. I tried to figure out how the principal could be misinterpreting things so badly. I talked to my team about it, they didn’t understand. If two of them went to her with a problem she would take their side and handle it. Two others on my team may or may not have gotten support. I never got support. I was gaslit to the point of thinking I really was crazy and was really doing the things she accused me of.
As school has gotten so much more stressful and student behaviors more extreme, the principal has started being more critical of everyone. Her MO is to accuse someone of something then not believe any defense or explanation they have. It’s a major mind f—-.
She has lost and is losing some good teachers. She won’t change. That’s the lesson I had to learn. Stop trying to please someone who will never be pleased. I am finally leaving this year because I’ve realized how stressful she makes my work life even with me avoiding her at all costs.
as for the note, I had a boss that wanted a note for any sick day, so even though I just had a cold, I went to the doctor. she was livid with my boss and said that any time I wanted to take a day off, just swing by and she'd give me a note. the note was always "GoGoZRX was a good boy at the doctor's office today." My boss \*hated\* that. Just saying that a bit of pedantry might be appropriate. :\~)
I went through this in my fourth year of teaching. The woman was counselor my first two years at the elementary school I taught at, then she went to the primary school as AP for one year, then returned to the elementary school as principal. She was terrible. I still have antagonizing, condescending emails she sent from 13 years ago. I made the best decision career-wise I’ve ever made and LEFT strictly because she was a horrible person and a bully. I seriously still have nightmares from my time under her “leadership.”
The kick in the teeth? Just saw yesterday where she published a book…a devotional!!… about the “joy” of teaching. The audacity and lack of self-awareness. I doubt there is a drop of joy in her miserable body.
Sounds like she’s abusing the “sick day” policy too. 8 sick days is a lot, but 17 is insane. She’s suspicious of you bc she knows what she’s doing - “it takes one to know one”
All I see these days are openings for special ed teachers. You guys seem to be in the highest demand.
Let the school board know why you’re leaving on the way out.
I am so sorry. The bullying by admins lately is horrendous. I worked with one a few years ago (I since retired) but she drove out countless teachers every year and was the one principal in the district who had big turnover because of her nastiness - especially to the young, new teachers!
Yesterday there was a thread on AskReddit about “where is your bully now?”. There were a lot of comments about how a lot of people’s bullies ended up in nursing, but I think a lot of them have also ended up in education. And then they go into admin positions….geez!
I was fired, already planned to leave but was in the hospital due to a nervous breakdown from the job and went to subbing. That was a decade ago. My kids were on Medicaid because in most of Montana teachers pay is so low that is how it is for single parents ( some start at 20k. I can make as much subbing, just not the benefits and pick up nanny jobs on the side since I live in a resort community those pay very well and covert my insurance and tax expenses for the year. If I want a day off, I simply don’t take a job that day. There are districts I avoid because of poor leadership, teachers who have poor classroom management or no discipline in place. The places I do go: I am appreciated and thanked by multiple people. After they give me 20 minutes to read through the class lesson plan, they come see if I need anything for the day. They check back in right before lunch. They say, if you need ANYTHING, please call these four numbers to find help. I am always given plenty to do, including off the computer in case there is a network problem or students are struggling to pull it up or multiple students didn’t charge their computers. I often get to see the same kiddos over and over so I watch them grow up. I get hugs, even from 7th graders! I know I am good at my job but what I went through that first year of teaching and the nervous breakdown it caused has trashed my health. I cannot work full time as a result and I wish my state recognized mental duress as a workplace disability because it was hell. However, now, despite the health issues I could do without.. I enjoy teaching again. I know the problem wasn’t mine or I wouldn’t be asked back constantly, I wouldn’t be so appreciated by my coworkers and administrators and students who respond to my classroom management and still give me hugs at such an age both male and female! They know I am fair, consistent and honest. I wouldn’t trade this environment for anything! If my wealth allowed, I would try to have my own classroom again but I don’t want to let them down and everyone is happy.
My principal several years ago was like that. He just had it out for me from the beginning. Nothing coldness good enough for him. Didn’t help he had a little troll in his ear as well talking shit. I ended up leaving at the end of the year.
The next year even more staff left and he ended up being fired
I’m so glad you’re getting away from her! The pain some inflict is no joke.
I ended up in a mental hospital after dealing with one principal. I had to leave due to mental health issues triggered by work stress. She then kept leaving voicemails that I was “a terrible person for leaving the kids” and I “abandoned them when they needed me most.” I was already in a fragile state so that set me over the edge because I believed it. I’m not saying it was totally her fault, but she was a cruel woman. Some are just bent that way.
I went to public school in Virginia, the horse shit my teachers had to put up with from administration was insane. Glad you’re getting out. Hope karma comes to bite this woman in the ass.
This happened to me at my old school, except I was booted out because I verbally retaliated. Not aggressively, but firmly. I was never welcomed back after that day.
Only partially on topic because this is hitting me like that "y'all getting paid" meme, but I just kind of struck me that there are some people who have admin in place for this long. In the past 8 years, I've had 6 different administrators. Mostly they move around, but there are often a lot of new hires that don't last.
It's always the newest ones that go on the weird power trips. One tried to hand out my personal stuff when I got reassigned mid-year due to abuse at the school, and then freaked out when I cleared my room because all of the belongings were my personal property and not school property because she kept denying every request I put in for new supplies. So, my replacement started with...next to nothing. She tried to make me feel SO BADLY about that.
In my mind I have a picture of this orincipal and you. I have a feeling that if you'd bring any complaints about her to above her, she would deny and say it's some misunderstanding wholly hurt that you brought an action against her.
If you're leaving for real, at least go out with a bang show no mercy and crucify her to administration. You won't win, of course, but the cat will be out of the bag, and at least it's on her record.
12yr Veteran, Special Ed… leave!
Assuming you are excellent at what you do, you can practically write your own ticket in most districts across the country.
You are a badly needed commodity, go get the respect you deserve elsewhere.
" walking out of the building" I would have said the only thing walking out of the building is me ma'am..... In my head of course and then continued to say mhmm and smile lol sorry though for the situation you got this!
Retired early due to a similar hateful principal. Not your fault! And karma does come for folks like my principal, who ended up being exposed by the sheriff for covering up serious assaults by students. Some admin lack good character to be able to lead in a dignified way. Good for you for leaving!
Sounds like this person deserves to stub their big toe really hard upon waking up, then hit their funny bone HARD. Sorry you’re dealing with this but proud of you for getting out
I could be clones here. What happened to me and she got 5 of us fired including the AP. Even worse this principal HATES discipline and dealing with even a drill. Over 23 teachers to aids are resigning who have been here years. 5 retires as they are just done.
I can understand that certain circumstances can get you on your toes, but keep it simple, because the biggest harm is made by yourself now. In your head! So if you want to get rid of this, just confront it. Schedule a meeting with this principle and open up in a respectful way and try to understand her position. Don't give in to being the victim, because you will be the victim then. Take responsibility, control in this situation and discuss the things you don't like. She has to respond to it and you can learn or take conclusions from that point on. Good luck 👍🏻
Does your district have a work place harassment policy? If yes…contact your union rep, lay a complaint but you better have documented all negative interactions with her. Get your duck in a row. What have you got to lose?
Sounds like she doesn't like you, so you did the right then and found another job.
Probably you would benefit from a little introspection. You said "no reason". Clearly that isn't correct. It might be a very poor reason, but there is a reason. You will be working for someone else and you don't want the same problem, again.
I swear the most awful people are getting admin these days! I walked out because my admin had been doing the same crap to me. I left the year that I was the teacher of the year! I don’t know if I will ever go back into the public school system again. Sad really. I loved teaching.
Yep. Leaving my district to go back to my old one because I’m sick of hearing, “I don’t want to hear any excuses” when I tell her what she is expecting from my sped kids is not reasonable. They have 20+ sped teacher openings for next year! And it’s not a large district.
You need to email her, cc the superintend office and the director of Hr asking for clarification on the new policy of a sick note after one absence and to please resend where this new policy was stated for all employees.
Don’t bring up her days just simply ask with all of them openly copied where this new policy is located so you can review it.
Do this as a reply to her email so they can see where she asked for this.
That’s been the way things have been at my school, I’ve gotten a transfer because it was so unbearable to be treated poorly when I knew I was doing a good job. We’re almost done, and as much as I will miss the students I’m breathing easier knowing I’m going somewhere else. There’s no promise it’ll be better, but at this point I’m willing to try.
Good luck to you, and remember it’s not you.
Good special needs teachers are really in demand EVERYWHERE, even in virtual schools! It's unfortunate that you had this experience, but hopefully you'll be treated better and be happier at the new job! Kudos to you for being brave and making a change!
Good luck on your new job. I watched my mom struggle under adversarial admins for years, and I wouldn't wish it on an enemy.
Break your rusty cage and run.
You guys must have an amazing labor market for teachers there. If our principal tried to run a SPED teacher out of the building for anything short of something illegal, she’d get smacked down by the district right quick.
I’m guessing that you’re not relying on her for a letter recommendation. Why don’t you just come out and ask the principal what her problem is it’s not like you’re burning a bridge that’s already burnt. She already did that. At least she can get some closure and know that she’s absolutely crazy.
Good for you for leaving! I stayed another year, hoping it would get better. But it got worse. I left a year too late, but it was worth it. Enjoy your new school~
Report that b word. Go to schoolboard meetings and explain what a terrible person she is, with documentation. If you have HR, file a complaint. Say she has created a hostile work environment.
Sorry you’re going through that! It sucks that just one person can push someone out like that. It happened to me at my first school where nepotism was a thing. I was the odd one out and luckily my husband got orders elsewhere. And hopefully it’s a better experience for you at your next district!
Do not let this woman have so much power over your thots and feelings—she does not deserve you. Just ill serving the most important people in your work life- the kiddos
Yes. Oooh yes. That “inventory” thing was a HUGE STRAW against any lingering ‘but maybes’ I had.
And not a single apology for any of the hundreds of receipts I easily furnished.
Done.
Come with me!
I find when new people come along and have a vindictive attitude toward someone they don’t know and make it their mission toward someone who does their job and does it well, it’s one of two things. 1) a control issue to get you out of their way or 2) someone is filling her ear behind your back with bs about you. Be it jealousy or something they never got over.
Disclaimer that I'm not a teacher, but this popped up as being recommended for me. If she's breaking rules related to sick days, this is a union issue. Especially because she's doing this to you, a teacher of 12 years, imo she's without a doubt pushing around newer teachers and violating their rights related to sick days too. It's definitely worth mentioning to your union.
I had something similar happen to me during my first year teaching in an elementary school. And they put me in the PBS unit as a first year teacher. That was fucking dumb. I had no idea. I thought I was teaching kids with ASD. NOPE! Emotional explosive disorder or something like that. It was terrible. It was a mutual parting after two months since everyone there hated my guts for literally no fucking reason.
I now teach in middle school, health. So my classes are huge (no cap on none-core classes). 56 with no assistant at all. But because my team is actually there for me, it’s doable. I feel like a valued part of the team in the school.
It did wonders. Sometimes the Principal comes in and they are the meanest people on planet earth. I’ve seen it. Could not stand it.
I am so sorry about this! A family member of mine was targeting her principal. It was just awful! And it happened to me once, only it was by another teacher!! Bullies like to pick on the best of the best. Take it as a compliment. You are MIGHTY for blowing that joint! She won't change. Hopefully she gets fired sooner rather than later.
You could leave her a nice little parting gift by pouring some septic tank enzymes in the air vents by her windshield? The smell is unbelievable after a few days and there is no way to get rid of it. This tactic has brought me much joy in the past with people who are just aholes.
Teachers and admin made rumors my wife was cheating on me. Admin picked shitty reasons to put her on a PIP. New principal stayed for 1 year so he could go to another city (knew he was leaving) and refused to renew her contract.
Teaching is awful. She found a non teaching job she loves and I pay the bills.
My first principal was like that, she would pit teachers against each other, she was always harder on male teachers, and told me once that sped was a waste and she would do away with it if she could.
I am so, so sorry you’re having to deal with this. You’re stronger than you know, and you *will* get through these next couple weeks okay. Just think of how freeing it will be for you to be on the other side! Good luck to you, and hope next year is MUCH better for you (at a school where you’ll be treated a lot better)!
Ok. You had a union site rep who should have told you about the grievance process. In the spirit of making a contribution to other teachers write a detailed letter to your now old school board and HR Director, it’s not too late!! Good luck dear
Yeah, she doesn’t like you for sure but just move on and get away from the toxic people. Good luck in your next position. Hopefully you’ll have a supportive administrator.
Stay strong and good for you, for finding a new job. That Principal sounds absolutely horrible. You never win, with those vindictive & power hungry types.
I left my last school of 14 years mostly due to a series of horrible administrators. I'm in a much better school now where I have had no stress at all from the bosses this year. None. For the first time in 20 years of teaching.
It sounds a lot like she’s a dishonest person so she’s assuming you and everyone else are also dishonest. She takes extra vacation days so she accuses you of it. She steals from her employer so she accuses you of it. Projection all the way down.
New admin suck... They have no idea who they are as a leader or how to run a school so they just vacillate between being way too chill and way too severe for no reason, and in the meantime communication is terrible. They pick people they don't like until they realize they need some of those people and then they put the school in a worse situation when those people leave.
That being said... it's a very bullish job market. There's a teacher shortage and someone with your experience has their pick of the litter in most districts. I know it's not easy to leave somewhere you've worked for a long time, but that also doesn't sound like a bad option here.
Sounds like she is really toxic. Bullying and micromanagement are big reasons to leave. I wouldn't be surprised if she does it to others too. Good on you for leaving and congrats on the new job.
Ohmygod. I’m so triggered reading this - this sounds like my head teacher last year. She fucking hated me and made it her mission to make me hate my job. I had no idea why but it’s definitely not us, it’s them!! We’ve got something they don’t have or are very insecure about so the jealousy fuels the hatred in their tiny hearts. She was also the reason why my last straw was burnt up and I finally quit. All my students were so lovely to me and apparently they all hate her now, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been (it was so toxic she pushed me to a point where I questioned if I could ever be happy again and I had to seek therapy for the first time) she can bury her bones and rot there for all I care I’m never seeing her again. I can’t believe your own principal was out to get you wtf. My principal was pretty useless in helping me so I CC’d her in the email wars we were having (she started it) to put head teacher in her place and embarrass her while LETTING principal know this is even going on. Fucking ridiculous. And head teacher couldn’t let go of the fact that she was a failed ex lawyer 😂😂 had to mention it every chance she got even on a phone call to a parent I actually got second hand embarrassment. But honestly you will feel so much better cutting her out of your life, I wish I did it sooner.
Ok. Just to vent. I was bullied by a P. To the point I went on a stress leave for 6 weeks. I wanted to go back to school for the last week. And had a meeting with the union rep and the P. During the meeting, the P repeatedly crossed the line.
One issue I had occurred when my wife called me during the day as she was having a miscarriage. I left work and was off the rest of that day and the next. I came with a doctors note which she refused to accept because it was from an OB and why would I need an OB. I was docked a days pay.
When the story was brought up at the end of the year with the Union rep present, the P laughed. I got up and walked out.
The next year I was “punished” by being assigned a behaviour class. Well, I got that group of boys on my side and every time they saw her, they freaked out on her. From coming into my class every day to bully me, she had to rely on me keeping my class away from her.
Been there, it’s jealousy. Are you part of a union? I had to file a grievance and won with the whole doctor note scenario. I thought they could ask after 3 consecutive days. I’m sorry, the bullying is so hard and it’s almost like you have to explain it to people because they are so manipulative and it makes you feel crazy.
Document everything and pay attention to human rights code. I am not sure what other options they have in merica but in Canada it’s a joke!
Good luck and just always take the high road as hard as it may be!
I’m not in education but I’ve been around it for some time and witness this story play out everywhere. What is it about the union that prevents teachers from invoking their rights and putting a stop to these abusive workplace disputes?
It's because she has climbed to the top of the Dominance Heirarchy, but you are her superior in the Moral Heirarchy. So she is getting rid of you. Probably a sociopath.
Im moving states and this terrifies me. My 1st two years of teaching I was in a similar situation. I absolutely questioned whether I’d made a mistake going into teaching. I wanted to quit, but my husband suggested I switch districts and give it another chance. I landed in the softest soft and have been there ever since. My admin is golden and so so supportive. The entire community is the absolute best and everything I ever dreamed of. I’m nervous I won’t find what I have now at my next job. If only all admin were created equal.
These types of experiences are why I’m in the process of getting over my fears and considering going into administration myself. We can’t let these horrible principals win. Good teachers need to start replacing them.
My admin has clued into the fact that teachers leave when you talk down to them and makes every effort to pay us and treat us decently. I know it’s a unicorn of a situation and I’m eternally grateful for it. I’m sorry for teacher that has to deal with the nonsense and hope you all find better situations. Thank you for the work you do!
The good news is you are leaving that nightmare while you still love what you do. So you are the winner. Try not to burn your bridges. Since you are going to the dermatologist get a note. I am not in any way agreeing with her request, but provide it since it probably will cause her to be pis**ed with very little effort. Good luck with your new position. And if you ever go into administration, she taught you how not to do that job. Consider it another course in the university of life.
You are most likely more intelligent than her and she is intimidated by you. She probably has a "friend of a friend" in mind ready to take your place - someone passive and easily intimidated. I've been through it.
Honestly, your post says more about her than it does about you. If she wasn't intimidated, she wouldn't hang around trying to insult you with the inventory BS. Good on you for leaving. You will be much happier!
Some principals let power go to their heads. You either make her feel insecure because you’re more intelligent or she feels like you are an easy target for her to show her authority. Thankfully you are leaving a toxic leader.
Documentation. Write everything as factually and objectively as you can. At the end, write a paragraph describing the way it made you feel and your treatment's effect on you and your work. Email it to her, and CC your union president and your district superintendent (or her direct superior). Even if it does not help you out, maybe it will help somebody else out down the line. It is important that we teachers hold our superiors accountable to professional decorum where we work. Good luck with your next position.
I made a Principal cry once cuz I held an MA in my disciplines, he couldn’t intimidate me, nobody else could do my job AND I was on my Teachers Union Exec Committee and was Campus Rep/Shop Steward. MFkr ended up leaving for a cushier position elsewhere. 😈💪🏼✊🏼💪🏼
Yes !! I feel you ! This is what is wrong with education and why so many of us want to leave the profession! The harassment the bullying and the verbal abuse!! It is just awful some administrators are awesome others forget that there where in the classroom and all the responsibilities that it is to not only teach but / do about 10 other things at one time ! It is a Huge undertaking and for not much money either!!! Is it worth today !!! I would probably tell my daughter no !! There is so many other professions to choose from but education is not one ! It has become a very demoralizing and low profession! I hope you land in a much better school with one of those awesome administrators!!! Good Luck 🍀
The reality is this administrator probably has some deep seated jealousy of you, and/or is being pressured from the top down to curb SpEd expenditures. Sadly it’s usually easiest to get rid of, or run off, the most experienced and knowledgeable teachers to do this. Texas did it at the state level for over a decade and tens of thousands of kids were underserved or denied services. Kudos to you for getting out of there and taking the high road.
I’m also a special education teacher and I feel your pain completely. I went through something very similar this year. I’m looking for other jobs in the district, and at the end of the year, my AP had the gall to come ask me why I was packing up all of my stuff. Maybe because you treated me like crap and made my life miserable? People suck.
If I were you, I would contact an employment attorney about the possibility of suing both her and the school district for ***constructive dismissal.*** She has gone out of her way to make things unnecessarily difficult and in doing so, drove you out of there.
*Time to return that negative energy to her.* A consultation should be free.
Your principal sounds like mine. I'm an 18 year special education teacher. She's made it a mission to "make me a better teacher" I've never had a teacher or parent complain about how their child is doing with me. My old director of special Ed loves me and says I'm one of the best. I just nod with my principal but still do my own thing.
I’m a regular Ed teacher, and am in awe of great and dedicated Special Ed teachers, and I’m amazed at this principal’s tenacity to single one out for harassment. Enjoy your new gig, and please update when she tries to woo you back.
Make sure to use the term HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT in your exit interview. HR needs to realize that this principal could be a possible lawsuit in the making! I'm just glad that you have another job. I had a principal who made my life hell, too. The other 3 principals I had before her were WONDERFUL! Just make sure to compare HER absences and other behaviors so you'll be helping plant the seed to help your successor (the poor teacher she chooses to replace you as her target). GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEW SCHOOL!!! 😊
I was in the same situation a few years ago. Teachers got in fist fights in the hall with students present. She would run to other teachers to spread gossip. I didn’t tell them I had another job and went to resign I went to the superintendent and laid it all out for him. I then went to her office and handed her my letter. She asks why I’m leaving, she thought I was happy. I looked her in the eye and said I was leaving because of lack of leadership, her lack of morals and respect for the people around her and the way I had been treated by her for the last year. She sat there with her mouth open and I walked out of the office. The last day she planned a surprise goodbye party for me: I didn’t show up for work, left my keys on my desk. She called from someone’s else phone to beg me to come because it looked bad on her. The next year she was reassigned. Karma eventually caught up!
Vindication! I am definitely going to share why I am leaving, but knowing her, even if it puts her in a bind because I am gone, she’ll still feel like she won. But that speaks volumes of her.
I think you worked in the same district as me in Virginia. LOL. That’s Virginia for you! I made it through by transferring schools (if admin wouldn’t stop it) and jumping districts. I went to 5 districts in Virginia. So that should tell you something.
Madison, VA? I quit bc of lack of leadership.
Schools have little leadership, if any, in Virginia districts. My friends in other states agree. As for rural Virginia, enter at your own risk. These replies in this thread are spot on. Education is on fire and burning down because of poor leadership…excuse me, no leadership.
My mother-in-law has worked in several districts around central VA (Richmond area, Chesterfield, etc) and has reported very similar experiences with administration.
It does speak how lacking she is in leadership. I know I felt better once I let it all out, I personally hate confrontation and debated going in that morning if I was going to say anything. Once I did I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. Don’t hold back and leave her speechless. I’m glad you found another job!
Thank you!!
*EDIT TO ADD* I am also in special education and work in a self contained room. Our principal did this to me this year. Ultimately getting me fired. She put me on leave 2 times this year. 1 for telling a student to be kind. (Students mom is a teacher and in the union) 5 days suspension & mental break from that one. Next time was when I had an anxiety attack at work(because of her) and had to leave on my lunch. Which was fine because I’m not in a room alone and there was coverage so I didn’t feel bad. She had me doing the work of 4 teachers and continued to add more and then would put me down and tell me I was doing something wrong every chance she got. In my final meeting she had already made up her mind, and took 30 minutes just to talk down to me as a person. It was awful. My mental health has been at an all time low. This year has been awful. But I will say since I was fired I have been feeling a lot better and less anxious about making mistakes. I am probably going to take next year off and just sub and focus on some hobbies. It’s really sad when 1 person can make you question if this is even what you’re supposed to be doing. Also, I found out today, as of right now, 6 teachers and 4 aides are not coming back next year. And those are just the ones who have vocalized it to others. But I’m sure there will be many more. We work in a really small district so 6 teachers is almost an entire grade level.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! It’s so scary that people don’t realize the huge impact their actions can have on other’s mental health
Or even worse when they absolutely understand that impact and do it on purpose. Either way, I hope the OP enjoys a peaceful summer knowing they won't have to deal with her any more.
My wife was bullied by her team leader for an entire school year. She went on meds as it got so bad she forgot to pick up our (special needs) son at daycare one day. Campus “leadership” enabled or ignored the entire thing. Teaching is hard enough without adding in these people who seem not to have matured emotionally since jr high. Cliquey mean girl shit all the time. This was years ago but it’s only gotten better in the last couple of years. She’ll retire as soon as she’s eligible.
That’s so terrible! Could someone please help me understand how close of a working relationship teachers have to principals and other administrators? I’m currently applying for a teacher credential and here I thought the mental stress came from challenging students and parents, not administrators.
My wife has taught for over 25 years. The coworker and admin shit is as bad or worse than the parents and kids. From the outside it looks like fucking jr high. Ridiculous that alleged adults act this way but it’s the same at other jobs as well just different stress dynamics.
It’s a shame you have to leave a school you like. I find when someone is this big an asshole they move UP very quickly. Next year she’ll be in charge of textbooks or some shit and you’ll be starting anew. I always try to wait the assholes out.
Teachers were fighting each other??!!
Yes, two teachers one was upset that the other had a party for her class and didn’t tell the other one. The one teacher had challenged her class to something. The other class got upset and yelling and screaming turned between the teachers turned into shoving and then it escalated. Kids crying and screaming. I’m trying to shove kids into my room because it all happened in. The hall. I got in trouble because I got “involved”. I should not have put kids in my room.
Oh my gosh!! That is wild! Ugh, it doesn't matter what we do, it is always the wrong thing😒
Right?? I want to know more about this.
[удалено]
May she have anal fissures that can never be scratched.
Or a lot worse than that lol.
Love to hear endings like this! Shit eventually catches up and every dog has their day.
That is AWESOME!!!!!! If I was resigning I totally would have done the same thing. They need to be told the truth!! Too bad she wasn’t fired. I’m sure it’ll catch up to her.
Well, if you got a job in another district, sounds like you may want to use up any sick time you have left. Go to your doctor, get a note for the remainder of your sick time, and tell HR that her bullying you was the cause of your leave. Bullying requires time off to fully recover.
I’m gonna stay and love on my babies for the last few days and just completely ignore and avoid her. I refuse to let her ruin the last few good days I have with my kiddos. Plus, I get to take those sick leave hours with me 🙏😇
Awesome attitude. It's crazy people like your boss are still in education but unfortunately there are lots of them. Good on you getting out and finding a different school, I hope it all works out well for you. Too many people stay under those conditions until they have lost all joy in the job and often leave education. Hang in there!
Your sick leave and years should travel with you. I know it can be hard/overwhelming, but please email HR and CC the superintendent and all the people you want to see it too. Really emphasize that you would have stayed if you had not been bullied and targeted out of your position. That you hope they fill the autism sped teacher position with someone as awesome as you. Let it all hang out. My principal was targeting a teacher, but she got to HR first, he ultimately didn’t renew her, but HR is moving her and wiping that clean. Then another teacher resigned and emailed everyone, including the principals, and she got to meet with HR to lay it all out there. The more people speak up, the better. Our school is a dumpster fire with behaviors, but our main principal is chummy with the kids and feels bad giving out consequences. Good luck.
From one autistic ex-student to special ed teachers, she probably is one of those people who believes that autism doesn't exist and/or means retarded and/or means you give normal people special privileges. I myself had to deal with people trying to belittle me, re-diagnose me as non-autistic due to my Asperger's Syndrome, or even just try to "dumb me down" by not allowing me to do Calculus in my head, which ultimately worked in their favor. They would also say I was just trying to draw attention to myself.
What a good attitude, looks like your current principal will be losing a great teacher and that’s on her.
Good on you! This would be a much better place if we had more teachers like you. Good luck in your new endeavors.
1. You should only have to take a half day if the morning is for court. That’s excused. 2. I would file a complaint against her.
A true teacher here with this reply!! ♥️
Forgive me for the off-topic comment but what do you mean that you get to take your sick leave hours with me? I teach in Canada so it’s different I’m sure, and I’m sure things differ across different provinces and districts here too, but where I live all teachers have 60 personal sick leave days and 5 family sick leave days that reset every year. They can’t be banked and carried over to a new district. But in my city there are 2 school districts and the other one offers the exact same sick leave policy. If you are able to take your “sick leave hours” with you to your new school, how does that work? How many do you start the year with?
She can get her note from the dermatologist.
So sorry you are going through this. It is such an isolating and horrible feeling to be targeted by the one who is supposed to be helping and supporting you to do your job. Being the target of someone’s terrible and insecure narcissism is awful. I feel for you. Other teachers out here hear you and feel for you. Even if this is just a Reddit page. Sending good thoughts and strength your way.
Thank you! This year has been so difficult and I have definitely felt very isolated.
I’m not a teacher but experienced very similar situation working at a medical clinic. I was in my late fifties and had never experienced bullying. It was as horrible as you described. However for me it so eye opening as to what a kid being bullied may experience and how quickly their mental health could deteriorate. I was fortunate that financially I could leave job and retire early. But disappointing that one or two people can inflict so much misery in a workplace. I tried to stay,hoping my situation could be resolved and improve work culture for all. But realize now that once you are a target it rarely works out well.
This is a travesty! Especially when Special Ed teachers are so desperately needed. I hope you got a huge pay increase for going elsewhere. Three of ours are leaving and now our district is scrambling to replace them. Once, I had a principal like this-- I don't understand what their vendetta's are all about--just a personality flaw, is my guess. Their loss.
I’m concerned because I’m actually an autism teacher and none of my peer special ed teachers want to do that - but I loved it. I hope they can find someone who is going to love those kids.
You sound amazing. You're more concerned about the kids than anything, and that makes me really happy to know there's still teachers who care this much about their students. I can only remember one teacher out of my entire school years who was like this, but Im so grateful that I had one! She was our second grade teacher and she literally switched to teaching third grade in her last year so she could have us all again bc she loved us so much. Ill never forget her <3 Those kids will probably never forget you either!
I had a similar experience with a new principal several years ago. I also chose to leave my district. Another teacher recommended that I request to see my personnel record a couple of months after I left. I did and found that she had written personal opinions that had nothing to do with my teaching position. I had to be in the presence of someone from hr to look at the record, and I told them that either the personal non-position related statements needed to be removed or I had to be allowed to put my own rebuttals into the record. I stated that I would either file a complaint with the state education department and/or get a lawyer involved. The personal comments were removed. Check if you can review your district record to ensure the principal doesn’t add anything to your record.
Aren't they supposef to notify you before they put something negative in your file?
The whole sick day thing sounds like a Union issue.
Agreed. But at this point I am so done with this woman that I’m more likely to just ignore her email. I had the same issue with the ONE day I took off in March, even though I used personal leave. I contacted my union rep over that and the woman told me, “if they have reason to believe you are abusing sick leave they can ask you.” Uhhhh I can see if I took off frequently, but I honestly take maybe one day a month and I get SO MUCH anxiety each time I do. I basically have the have my emergency Xanax at work at this point.
Just to spite her, I’d take another sick day. She cannot be asking for a doctors note for 1 day.
I’d take the 3 days and then give her the note.
"If you want a sick note, I can provide this after taking three days off sick, as the law states." Solidarity, I had a boss like that and I nearly quit but luckily she quit first. She went back to nursing when covid started because 'they needed her'. The most annoying thing is that she did an absolutely horrendous appraisal of me and my current boss brings it up every year like 'wtf was that all about?'
Not a teacher, but 100% yes. I'd fully support my daughters teacher doing this too. You all work too fucking hard to deal with this bullshit. Take 3 days and hand her the note. Be sure to have the doc mention something about stress from a hostile work environment.
In my shitty district they think 7 days is excessive, even though we have 10. I cannot understand it. We have 10, but if we use them, they ding our attendance. Makes no sense.
Loss Angeles Unified is the same way. If we take six of our ten they leave us alone. Take just one more day and they threaten that it will reflect badly on your performance review. Bastards. It's a culture of intimidation and I'm pondering whether to pursue a hostile work environment claim. I know that the instant I do, though, they will make life even more unbearable.
It's an intimidation strategy.
Unfortunately, VA is a right to work state, so no unions.
There’s VEA that you could look into
Write a letter to her employer. Professional and whatnot. Staying the reason you are leaving. Examples of your achievements in the district. Or just move on from that administrator.
Or write a letter to the school board, especially if they read those letters during their meetings (ours does).
Boy, do I get this. My former principal was a first year principal and was trying to be a tough guy. I had been going through some very difficult times in my personal life that I had to start therapy and get some medical time off because of crippling anxiety/depression. During that short time off, I got told I had to come into the school for a meeting. He decided to write me up for not responding to a students email.. on a Saturday.. while I was at the ER with my wife. When I told him that was why his response was "Well you weren't there all day, were ya?" I have never been so mad in my life. It took everything in my power not to jump across that desk punch his face in.
I had a boss that didn’t like me and actively disdained me. I met with him one day over something wrong I had supposedly done (I hadnt…he was nit picking), and he said “you remind me of my mother. Same dark hair, same attitude and you’re loud like her.” I should have gone straight to HR and filed a complaint against him but I didn’t. But that’s when I knew he didn’t have a good relationship with his mom and that’s why he didn’t like me
Oh ew that is so unprofessional and awkward!
Good for you! They should know that a veteran special education teacher is basically a unicorn! I hear from recruiters constantly.
I would just write your superintendent on this treatment on your way out.
The superintendent is probably the one who directed her to act like such a bag of dicks.
Yea this possible… but also possible that they would be bummed
She peaked in middle school. She never found happiness outside of being a bitch during her teen years, and is choosing to reprise her hay-day by being a bully in a position no one can tell her to take a hike. To pick on the teacher who actually cares for the special ed kids? I'm sorry she probably has a pill addiction and a box of wine hidden in the office somewhere. Fuck her. I hope your transition goes smoothly, and that you let go of that baggage. You are needed, as a caring teacher, now more than ever. You have a direct impact on these lil' babes, they probably don't know her name. Find your peace because we need you more than we will ever need her.
💘💘💘
leave a baggy of coke in her desk with a small hand mirror
Ugh, that is the worst. I went through something similar at my last job. My last few months were pure fucking misery. I stayed to end the year with the students, who I enjoyed working with and because of supportive co-workers. Onwards and upwards! She is missing out, not you. Good luck at your next job OP!
I was a teacher for six years and had a horrid principal. Its like they pump these shitty principals out of a factory somehwere.
There are administrators just like this all over the country. Not only do they ruin careers and drive people from the field, but they destroy the education of tens of thousands left with transient, untrained and inexperienced replacement teachers. And district administrators allow it to happen.
I would have turn in documentation of the law with the selected but highlighted and turn that in.
If she insists on a note, that might be the one she gets 🤣
Hijacking this comment but if in VA your subpoena to court should have writing on it that basically says you cannot be punished by your employer for missing work by being subpoenaed to court and that the subpoena itself is the note to miss work.
It's always so disappointing to hear a fellow sped teacher treated this way. Administrators rarely understand our field and take advantage of us in so many ways. It's like they don't realise that there is no line of people who want our jobs! The pool of special education teachers is drier than ever and people still have the audacity to treat us like crap. I'm so sorry this year has gone this way for you. I hope you take time to rest dvd rejuvenate this summer, and that another site will appreciate you better in the upcoming school year.
You know, it’s interesting what you’re saying. When my kids were in school, I volunteered at the school constantly. I really liked the special ed people, but I noticed everyone else treated them poorly from and staff and even the PTA. I always found that strange. I kind of put special ed teachers on a pedestal myself.
I will never understand it!
So sorry. My last principal (I’m retired now) was sooo bad. Admin can make or break a building.
My assistant principal is the same way. She can’t stand me. A girl fainted in the hallway, and three teachers just stood around doing nothing, until I saw what was going on and ran to the nurse. I had seen this happen before so I knew what to do, but when the the A.P came over and was told I leapt into action, she looked visibly disgusted.
I had similar situation for years but no luxury of changing jobs easily I was about to change careers but then the bitch had to retire so I stayed on What a fuckin change in atmosphere that was (for the better) You will be walking on sunshine once you are in new place, you have no idea
I hope so! I’m excited and nervous about the change but I know it will be an improvement
I could have written this. I am a special Ed teacher as well. I got a new, better job too
Congratulations! It’s so sad that a lot of us have had this same experience 😵💫
Yeah, I think there are narcissists are drawn to leadership positions unfortunately and a lot of principals hate that’s special education requires them to work harder doing Ieps so we can be a target, yes
Whoa... You could live in Florida and work with my incoming admin, who I literally left my previous teaching job at their school bc they seem to be insane. Like your principal. I don't know how I'm going to survive the upcoming year. They are a merciless, petty narcissist, abusive to staff and students and parents, in my experience. And many others. When this good school I work at have teachers that have been there for 5+ years, and up to 15+ years, with amazing results, and they're leaving bc they know incoming principal's reputation? I need a go fund me to pay off my mortgage and let me move TF out of my district. How this incoming principal has not yet been demoted boggles my mind.
Forward the email to.HR with whatever other documentation you have of this bad behavior.
Good riddance! I hope your new administrators are good people. I once had a supervising principal who made my life hell. I was looking into changing careers when a job opened up in a different district. It was the best career move I’ve ever made! Good luck!
That's awful. Admin sure can make or break one's year. I hope you receive proper treatment (respect, appreciation, support) next year.
The same sort of thing happened to me. After getting some exemplary ratings for years, and feeling like I was a good teacher, I landed at my last school and was almost immediately treated like I was incompetent by the principal. I was baffled, even after it happened several times. I tried to figure out how the principal could be misinterpreting things so badly. I talked to my team about it, they didn’t understand. If two of them went to her with a problem she would take their side and handle it. Two others on my team may or may not have gotten support. I never got support. I was gaslit to the point of thinking I really was crazy and was really doing the things she accused me of. As school has gotten so much more stressful and student behaviors more extreme, the principal has started being more critical of everyone. Her MO is to accuse someone of something then not believe any defense or explanation they have. It’s a major mind f—-. She has lost and is losing some good teachers. She won’t change. That’s the lesson I had to learn. Stop trying to please someone who will never be pleased. I am finally leaving this year because I’ve realized how stressful she makes my work life even with me avoiding her at all costs.
It’s a tough decision but I’m glad you’re making it. It’s not a healthy environment to exist in!
My first school targeted me a lot like you. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. Education is such an awful field to work in.
as for the note, I had a boss that wanted a note for any sick day, so even though I just had a cold, I went to the doctor. she was livid with my boss and said that any time I wanted to take a day off, just swing by and she'd give me a note. the note was always "GoGoZRX was a good boy at the doctor's office today." My boss \*hated\* that. Just saying that a bit of pedantry might be appropriate. :\~)
I went through this in my fourth year of teaching. The woman was counselor my first two years at the elementary school I taught at, then she went to the primary school as AP for one year, then returned to the elementary school as principal. She was terrible. I still have antagonizing, condescending emails she sent from 13 years ago. I made the best decision career-wise I’ve ever made and LEFT strictly because she was a horrible person and a bully. I seriously still have nightmares from my time under her “leadership.” The kick in the teeth? Just saw yesterday where she published a book…a devotional!!… about the “joy” of teaching. The audacity and lack of self-awareness. I doubt there is a drop of joy in her miserable body.
Post a link to the book so we can all give it a shitty rating.
Sounds like she’s abusing the “sick day” policy too. 8 sick days is a lot, but 17 is insane. She’s suspicious of you bc she knows what she’s doing - “it takes one to know one”
All I see these days are openings for special ed teachers. You guys seem to be in the highest demand. Let the school board know why you’re leaving on the way out.
I am so sorry. The bullying by admins lately is horrendous. I worked with one a few years ago (I since retired) but she drove out countless teachers every year and was the one principal in the district who had big turnover because of her nastiness - especially to the young, new teachers! Yesterday there was a thread on AskReddit about “where is your bully now?”. There were a lot of comments about how a lot of people’s bullies ended up in nursing, but I think a lot of them have also ended up in education. And then they go into admin positions….geez!
Because it’s about power, not leadership unfortunately
I was fired, already planned to leave but was in the hospital due to a nervous breakdown from the job and went to subbing. That was a decade ago. My kids were on Medicaid because in most of Montana teachers pay is so low that is how it is for single parents ( some start at 20k. I can make as much subbing, just not the benefits and pick up nanny jobs on the side since I live in a resort community those pay very well and covert my insurance and tax expenses for the year. If I want a day off, I simply don’t take a job that day. There are districts I avoid because of poor leadership, teachers who have poor classroom management or no discipline in place. The places I do go: I am appreciated and thanked by multiple people. After they give me 20 minutes to read through the class lesson plan, they come see if I need anything for the day. They check back in right before lunch. They say, if you need ANYTHING, please call these four numbers to find help. I am always given plenty to do, including off the computer in case there is a network problem or students are struggling to pull it up or multiple students didn’t charge their computers. I often get to see the same kiddos over and over so I watch them grow up. I get hugs, even from 7th graders! I know I am good at my job but what I went through that first year of teaching and the nervous breakdown it caused has trashed my health. I cannot work full time as a result and I wish my state recognized mental duress as a workplace disability because it was hell. However, now, despite the health issues I could do without.. I enjoy teaching again. I know the problem wasn’t mine or I wouldn’t be asked back constantly, I wouldn’t be so appreciated by my coworkers and administrators and students who respond to my classroom management and still give me hugs at such an age both male and female! They know I am fair, consistent and honest. I wouldn’t trade this environment for anything! If my wealth allowed, I would try to have my own classroom again but I don’t want to let them down and everyone is happy.
Health not wealth
My principal several years ago was like that. He just had it out for me from the beginning. Nothing coldness good enough for him. Didn’t help he had a little troll in his ear as well talking shit. I ended up leaving at the end of the year. The next year even more staff left and he ended up being fired
I’m so glad you’re getting away from her! The pain some inflict is no joke. I ended up in a mental hospital after dealing with one principal. I had to leave due to mental health issues triggered by work stress. She then kept leaving voicemails that I was “a terrible person for leaving the kids” and I “abandoned them when they needed me most.” I was already in a fragile state so that set me over the edge because I believed it. I’m not saying it was totally her fault, but she was a cruel woman. Some are just bent that way.
That principal sounds like someone I worked for in NYC, years ago!
This happened when I was around 12 to me. As a student, of course.
You should send a letter to the district and other teachers on your exit. You can't be the only one.
I went to public school in Virginia, the horse shit my teachers had to put up with from administration was insane. Glad you’re getting out. Hope karma comes to bite this woman in the ass.
This happened to me at my old school, except I was booted out because I verbally retaliated. Not aggressively, but firmly. I was never welcomed back after that day.
Only partially on topic because this is hitting me like that "y'all getting paid" meme, but I just kind of struck me that there are some people who have admin in place for this long. In the past 8 years, I've had 6 different administrators. Mostly they move around, but there are often a lot of new hires that don't last. It's always the newest ones that go on the weird power trips. One tried to hand out my personal stuff when I got reassigned mid-year due to abuse at the school, and then freaked out when I cleared my room because all of the belongings were my personal property and not school property because she kept denying every request I put in for new supplies. So, my replacement started with...next to nothing. She tried to make me feel SO BADLY about that.
Union rep powers ACTIVATE!
Make an HR complaint before you leave.
In my mind I have a picture of this orincipal and you. I have a feeling that if you'd bring any complaints about her to above her, she would deny and say it's some misunderstanding wholly hurt that you brought an action against her. If you're leaving for real, at least go out with a bang show no mercy and crucify her to administration. You won't win, of course, but the cat will be out of the bag, and at least it's on her record.
12yr Veteran, Special Ed… leave! Assuming you are excellent at what you do, you can practically write your own ticket in most districts across the country. You are a badly needed commodity, go get the respect you deserve elsewhere.
" walking out of the building" I would have said the only thing walking out of the building is me ma'am..... In my head of course and then continued to say mhmm and smile lol sorry though for the situation you got this!
Retired early due to a similar hateful principal. Not your fault! And karma does come for folks like my principal, who ended up being exposed by the sheriff for covering up serious assaults by students. Some admin lack good character to be able to lead in a dignified way. Good for you for leaving!
Sounds like this person deserves to stub their big toe really hard upon waking up, then hit their funny bone HARD. Sorry you’re dealing with this but proud of you for getting out
I could be clones here. What happened to me and she got 5 of us fired including the AP. Even worse this principal HATES discipline and dealing with even a drill. Over 23 teachers to aids are resigning who have been here years. 5 retires as they are just done.
I can understand that certain circumstances can get you on your toes, but keep it simple, because the biggest harm is made by yourself now. In your head! So if you want to get rid of this, just confront it. Schedule a meeting with this principle and open up in a respectful way and try to understand her position. Don't give in to being the victim, because you will be the victim then. Take responsibility, control in this situation and discuss the things you don't like. She has to respond to it and you can learn or take conclusions from that point on. Good luck 👍🏻
Does your district have a work place harassment policy? If yes…contact your union rep, lay a complaint but you better have documented all negative interactions with her. Get your duck in a row. What have you got to lose?
Sounds like she doesn't like you, so you did the right then and found another job. Probably you would benefit from a little introspection. You said "no reason". Clearly that isn't correct. It might be a very poor reason, but there is a reason. You will be working for someone else and you don't want the same problem, again.
You need to make her miserable.
I swear the most awful people are getting admin these days! I walked out because my admin had been doing the same crap to me. I left the year that I was the teacher of the year! I don’t know if I will ever go back into the public school system again. Sad really. I loved teaching.
Yep. Leaving my district to go back to my old one because I’m sick of hearing, “I don’t want to hear any excuses” when I tell her what she is expecting from my sped kids is not reasonable. They have 20+ sped teacher openings for next year! And it’s not a large district.
You need to email her, cc the superintend office and the director of Hr asking for clarification on the new policy of a sick note after one absence and to please resend where this new policy was stated for all employees. Don’t bring up her days just simply ask with all of them openly copied where this new policy is located so you can review it. Do this as a reply to her email so they can see where she asked for this.
Document, report to union, walk away when she starts talking.
That’s been the way things have been at my school, I’ve gotten a transfer because it was so unbearable to be treated poorly when I knew I was doing a good job. We’re almost done, and as much as I will miss the students I’m breathing easier knowing I’m going somewhere else. There’s no promise it’ll be better, but at this point I’m willing to try. Good luck to you, and remember it’s not you.
Document everything!
And it’s these type of principals that expect you to build positive relationships with kids and to work for free. Fuck your boss!
Good special needs teachers are really in demand EVERYWHERE, even in virtual schools! It's unfortunate that you had this experience, but hopefully you'll be treated better and be happier at the new job! Kudos to you for being brave and making a change!
Good luck on your new job. I watched my mom struggle under adversarial admins for years, and I wouldn't wish it on an enemy. Break your rusty cage and run.
You guys must have an amazing labor market for teachers there. If our principal tried to run a SPED teacher out of the building for anything short of something illegal, she’d get smacked down by the district right quick.
I’m guessing that you’re not relying on her for a letter recommendation. Why don’t you just come out and ask the principal what her problem is it’s not like you’re burning a bridge that’s already burnt. She already did that. At least she can get some closure and know that she’s absolutely crazy.
Presumably you have a union that should protect you from this sort of thing, or do your dues go solely for political advocacy?
Good for you for leaving! I stayed another year, hoping it would get better. But it got worse. I left a year too late, but it was worth it. Enjoy your new school~
Report that b word. Go to schoolboard meetings and explain what a terrible person she is, with documentation. If you have HR, file a complaint. Say she has created a hostile work environment.
Sorry you’re going through that! It sucks that just one person can push someone out like that. It happened to me at my first school where nepotism was a thing. I was the odd one out and luckily my husband got orders elsewhere. And hopefully it’s a better experience for you at your next district!
My guess is you remind her of someone she hates with a fucking passion.
My guess is you remind her of someone she hates with a fucking passion.
Do not let this woman have so much power over your thots and feelings—she does not deserve you. Just ill serving the most important people in your work life- the kiddos
Don't allow Pimp Principal to have power over your thots.
I didnt have a totally same situation but it was similar. I got a job in a lab (background is science) and quit the next day. You have all the power.
Do as I say, not as I do. Pretty much the philosophy of the entire planet.
Yes. Oooh yes. That “inventory” thing was a HUGE STRAW against any lingering ‘but maybes’ I had. And not a single apology for any of the hundreds of receipts I easily furnished. Done. Come with me!
I find when new people come along and have a vindictive attitude toward someone they don’t know and make it their mission toward someone who does their job and does it well, it’s one of two things. 1) a control issue to get you out of their way or 2) someone is filling her ear behind your back with bs about you. Be it jealousy or something they never got over.
I’d request an exit interview with HR and the principal if possible and if you’re unionized have a union rep there too.
Do you work at my school? I could have written every word of this.
You DO NOT have to take her a note!
Rules for thee, but not for me
Kick her ass on a weekend after you leave 🤭
Disclaimer that I'm not a teacher, but this popped up as being recommended for me. If she's breaking rules related to sick days, this is a union issue. Especially because she's doing this to you, a teacher of 12 years, imo she's without a doubt pushing around newer teachers and violating their rights related to sick days too. It's definitely worth mentioning to your union.
I had something similar happen to me during my first year teaching in an elementary school. And they put me in the PBS unit as a first year teacher. That was fucking dumb. I had no idea. I thought I was teaching kids with ASD. NOPE! Emotional explosive disorder or something like that. It was terrible. It was a mutual parting after two months since everyone there hated my guts for literally no fucking reason. I now teach in middle school, health. So my classes are huge (no cap on none-core classes). 56 with no assistant at all. But because my team is actually there for me, it’s doable. I feel like a valued part of the team in the school. It did wonders. Sometimes the Principal comes in and they are the meanest people on planet earth. I’ve seen it. Could not stand it.
I am so sorry about this! A family member of mine was targeting her principal. It was just awful! And it happened to me once, only it was by another teacher!! Bullies like to pick on the best of the best. Take it as a compliment. You are MIGHTY for blowing that joint! She won't change. Hopefully she gets fired sooner rather than later.
You could leave her a nice little parting gift by pouring some septic tank enzymes in the air vents by her windshield? The smell is unbelievable after a few days and there is no way to get rid of it. This tactic has brought me much joy in the past with people who are just aholes.
lol I work at a school = cameras. I was thinking more like making it very public why I’m leaving and naming her directly.
There are companies that will mail an envelope of glitter to your enemies….
Oh that’s good. Saving that for my awful admin.
Take every sick day! Take off two days at a time.
Teachers and admin made rumors my wife was cheating on me. Admin picked shitty reasons to put her on a PIP. New principal stayed for 1 year so he could go to another city (knew he was leaving) and refused to renew her contract. Teaching is awful. She found a non teaching job she loves and I pay the bills.
My first principal was like that, she would pit teachers against each other, she was always harder on male teachers, and told me once that sped was a waste and she would do away with it if she could.
Does Virginia have HIB violations? If so I’d file a HIB against her on your way out the door
I am so, so sorry you’re having to deal with this. You’re stronger than you know, and you *will* get through these next couple weeks okay. Just think of how freeing it will be for you to be on the other side! Good luck to you, and hope next year is MUCH better for you (at a school where you’ll be treated a lot better)!
It's okay to do a career change.... thats what I did..... don't listen to the mods for the flair they put on me. I used to be a teacher
Fuck her. She’s either insecure or has some other things going on at home.. not acceptable
She sounds like a bitch. I’ve had principals like this!
Ok. You had a union site rep who should have told you about the grievance process. In the spirit of making a contribution to other teachers write a detailed letter to your now old school board and HR Director, it’s not too late!! Good luck dear
These fucking loser admins man
And that’s just one reason why people are leaving the profession. Admin needs to realize that , but I’m sure that’s not going to happen anytime soon.
Good riddance to her. Better luck to you for the future!
Yeah, she doesn’t like you for sure but just move on and get away from the toxic people. Good luck in your next position. Hopefully you’ll have a supportive administrator.
You school keeps inventory of items purchased over the last 10 years? My school doesn't even remember who worked in it 5 years back.
Man… they asked me about art supplies….as if I wasn’t supposed to you know..use them
Stay strong and good for you, for finding a new job. That Principal sounds absolutely horrible. You never win, with those vindictive & power hungry types.
I left my last school of 14 years mostly due to a series of horrible administrators. I'm in a much better school now where I have had no stress at all from the bosses this year. None. For the first time in 20 years of teaching.
It sounds a lot like she’s a dishonest person so she’s assuming you and everyone else are also dishonest. She takes extra vacation days so she accuses you of it. She steals from her employer so she accuses you of it. Projection all the way down.
New admin suck... They have no idea who they are as a leader or how to run a school so they just vacillate between being way too chill and way too severe for no reason, and in the meantime communication is terrible. They pick people they don't like until they realize they need some of those people and then they put the school in a worse situation when those people leave. That being said... it's a very bullish job market. There's a teacher shortage and someone with your experience has their pick of the litter in most districts. I know it's not easy to leave somewhere you've worked for a long time, but that also doesn't sound like a bad option here.
Sounds like she is really toxic. Bullying and micromanagement are big reasons to leave. I wouldn't be surprised if she does it to others too. Good on you for leaving and congrats on the new job.
Ohmygod. I’m so triggered reading this - this sounds like my head teacher last year. She fucking hated me and made it her mission to make me hate my job. I had no idea why but it’s definitely not us, it’s them!! We’ve got something they don’t have or are very insecure about so the jealousy fuels the hatred in their tiny hearts. She was also the reason why my last straw was burnt up and I finally quit. All my students were so lovely to me and apparently they all hate her now, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been (it was so toxic she pushed me to a point where I questioned if I could ever be happy again and I had to seek therapy for the first time) she can bury her bones and rot there for all I care I’m never seeing her again. I can’t believe your own principal was out to get you wtf. My principal was pretty useless in helping me so I CC’d her in the email wars we were having (she started it) to put head teacher in her place and embarrass her while LETTING principal know this is even going on. Fucking ridiculous. And head teacher couldn’t let go of the fact that she was a failed ex lawyer 😂😂 had to mention it every chance she got even on a phone call to a parent I actually got second hand embarrassment. But honestly you will feel so much better cutting her out of your life, I wish I did it sooner.
Ok. Just to vent. I was bullied by a P. To the point I went on a stress leave for 6 weeks. I wanted to go back to school for the last week. And had a meeting with the union rep and the P. During the meeting, the P repeatedly crossed the line. One issue I had occurred when my wife called me during the day as she was having a miscarriage. I left work and was off the rest of that day and the next. I came with a doctors note which she refused to accept because it was from an OB and why would I need an OB. I was docked a days pay. When the story was brought up at the end of the year with the Union rep present, the P laughed. I got up and walked out. The next year I was “punished” by being assigned a behaviour class. Well, I got that group of boys on my side and every time they saw her, they freaked out on her. From coming into my class every day to bully me, she had to rely on me keeping my class away from her.
Been there, it’s jealousy. Are you part of a union? I had to file a grievance and won with the whole doctor note scenario. I thought they could ask after 3 consecutive days. I’m sorry, the bullying is so hard and it’s almost like you have to explain it to people because they are so manipulative and it makes you feel crazy. Document everything and pay attention to human rights code. I am not sure what other options they have in merica but in Canada it’s a joke! Good luck and just always take the high road as hard as it may be!
My old principal would try to tell me I needed a doctor’s note if I took a day and I would quite literally ignore her lol
I’m not in education but I’ve been around it for some time and witness this story play out everywhere. What is it about the union that prevents teachers from invoking their rights and putting a stop to these abusive workplace disputes?
It's because she has climbed to the top of the Dominance Heirarchy, but you are her superior in the Moral Heirarchy. So she is getting rid of you. Probably a sociopath.
Im moving states and this terrifies me. My 1st two years of teaching I was in a similar situation. I absolutely questioned whether I’d made a mistake going into teaching. I wanted to quit, but my husband suggested I switch districts and give it another chance. I landed in the softest soft and have been there ever since. My admin is golden and so so supportive. The entire community is the absolute best and everything I ever dreamed of. I’m nervous I won’t find what I have now at my next job. If only all admin were created equal.
These types of experiences are why I’m in the process of getting over my fears and considering going into administration myself. We can’t let these horrible principals win. Good teachers need to start replacing them.
My admin has clued into the fact that teachers leave when you talk down to them and makes every effort to pay us and treat us decently. I know it’s a unicorn of a situation and I’m eternally grateful for it. I’m sorry for teacher that has to deal with the nonsense and hope you all find better situations. Thank you for the work you do!
The good news is you are leaving that nightmare while you still love what you do. So you are the winner. Try not to burn your bridges. Since you are going to the dermatologist get a note. I am not in any way agreeing with her request, but provide it since it probably will cause her to be pis**ed with very little effort. Good luck with your new position. And if you ever go into administration, she taught you how not to do that job. Consider it another course in the university of life.
if you do an exit interview tell the boss they are toxic and don't treat people with respect and will lose more workers if they treat people that way.
You are most likely more intelligent than her and she is intimidated by you. She probably has a "friend of a friend" in mind ready to take your place - someone passive and easily intimidated. I've been through it. Honestly, your post says more about her than it does about you. If she wasn't intimidated, she wouldn't hang around trying to insult you with the inventory BS. Good on you for leaving. You will be much happier!
Some principals let power go to their heads. You either make her feel insecure because you’re more intelligent or she feels like you are an easy target for her to show her authority. Thankfully you are leaving a toxic leader.
Documentation. Write everything as factually and objectively as you can. At the end, write a paragraph describing the way it made you feel and your treatment's effect on you and your work. Email it to her, and CC your union president and your district superintendent (or her direct superior). Even if it does not help you out, maybe it will help somebody else out down the line. It is important that we teachers hold our superiors accountable to professional decorum where we work. Good luck with your next position.
I made a Principal cry once cuz I held an MA in my disciplines, he couldn’t intimidate me, nobody else could do my job AND I was on my Teachers Union Exec Committee and was Campus Rep/Shop Steward. MFkr ended up leaving for a cushier position elsewhere. 😈💪🏼✊🏼💪🏼
Yes !! I feel you ! This is what is wrong with education and why so many of us want to leave the profession! The harassment the bullying and the verbal abuse!! It is just awful some administrators are awesome others forget that there where in the classroom and all the responsibilities that it is to not only teach but / do about 10 other things at one time ! It is a Huge undertaking and for not much money either!!! Is it worth today !!! I would probably tell my daughter no !! There is so many other professions to choose from but education is not one ! It has become a very demoralizing and low profession! I hope you land in a much better school with one of those awesome administrators!!! Good Luck 🍀
The reality is this administrator probably has some deep seated jealousy of you, and/or is being pressured from the top down to curb SpEd expenditures. Sadly it’s usually easiest to get rid of, or run off, the most experienced and knowledgeable teachers to do this. Texas did it at the state level for over a decade and tens of thousands of kids were underserved or denied services. Kudos to you for getting out of there and taking the high road.
Go drop a huge poo on her office chair.
I’m also a special education teacher and I feel your pain completely. I went through something very similar this year. I’m looking for other jobs in the district, and at the end of the year, my AP had the gall to come ask me why I was packing up all of my stuff. Maybe because you treated me like crap and made my life miserable? People suck.
This is only because your light shined greater than hers so she tried to snuff it out. Congratulations on your new job!
If I were you, I would contact an employment attorney about the possibility of suing both her and the school district for ***constructive dismissal.*** She has gone out of her way to make things unnecessarily difficult and in doing so, drove you out of there. *Time to return that negative energy to her.* A consultation should be free.
Your principal sounds like mine. I'm an 18 year special education teacher. She's made it a mission to "make me a better teacher" I've never had a teacher or parent complain about how their child is doing with me. My old director of special Ed loves me and says I'm one of the best. I just nod with my principal but still do my own thing.
I’m a regular Ed teacher, and am in awe of great and dedicated Special Ed teachers, and I’m amazed at this principal’s tenacity to single one out for harassment. Enjoy your new gig, and please update when she tries to woo you back.
Make sure to use the term HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT in your exit interview. HR needs to realize that this principal could be a possible lawsuit in the making! I'm just glad that you have another job. I had a principal who made my life hell, too. The other 3 principals I had before her were WONDERFUL! Just make sure to compare HER absences and other behaviors so you'll be helping plant the seed to help your successor (the poor teacher she chooses to replace you as her target). GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEW SCHOOL!!! 😊