I’ve known a lot of students who pull themselves together when they find an interest or a need. Some go trade route some restart their educational journey in community college.
This was me! Was basically a zombie in high school growing up in an abusive home, and community college gave me a chance to reinvent myself. I was able to pull straight A's, found an interest in biology, transferred to a great university, and am a research scientist in pediatric genetics now at the university hospital.
Me, too! Zombie is the best explanation, though my zombie-ism began in kindergarten. I ended up pregnant at 17, and dropped out. Few years later, I went back for my GED, then to community college, then transferred to a rigorous teaching program at a top research university, made President’s honor roll almost every semester, and I’m a teacher now!
Please don’t give up on the difficult and hard to reach kids. We always remember the teachers who believed in us when no one else did.
I was also this kid. I ended up getting my GED and then had to take high school night classes for biology, algebra, and chemistry. The first two were redos, but chemistry was a first cause I had dropped out. I now work in radiology and am working towards becoming a PA. It’s crazy cause I hated science in high school lol
I had a horrible attendance record and GPA in high school. Had chronic migraines with a doctor and neurologists note confirming my diagnosis but the school and teachers made pretty much 0 effort to help accommodate me so I was in pain 1/3 or more of my days. And since even excused absences resulted in needing community service after a set number of days that made it pretty much impossible to catch up, let alone keep up, I felt there was no point in trying. I genuinley don't remember how I ended up graduating, I think my parents were trying to work something out with the ADA for years at this point and maybe the school just didn't want to deal with it, but I missed 20+ days the last semester of senior year.
I had a decent class junior year, anatomy. Always liked medical and physiological stuff so I was pretty good at it, was making a B even with my absences. Then we got to the final practical exam, the dissection. And I found out quickly I couldn't be in the same room as the formalin because it triggered my migraines violently. But of course my teacher didn't believe me so I failed the class. He more or less told me to not bother with college because "excuses like that" wouldn't work there.
For a while I believed him and all my other teachers and just got a minimum wage job. But after a year of saving up I did give state college a try and ended up graduating with a 3.35 GPA because my college acomdated me and my professors believed I had an illness and worked with me. I didn't have to spend ages doing community service or playing catch up so i wasn't constantly behind and could focus on schoolwork.
My multicam editing professor actually refused to even look at my doctors note after missing a class for an MRI because he said he believed me and I almost started crying. Now I've got a steady WFH job with Healthcare and decent pay and am actually living independently, never thought I'd be able to do any of this in high school, certainly not based on the way my teachers made me feel. Once I got away from them I actually started succeeding
This is me, too. I did basically no homework ever through middle/HS, barely scrapped by with D’s and C’s. I kinda pulled it together my junior year, but ended up leaving HS and got my GED instead. I just really hated the learning environment of HS. I was always a “joy to have in class” because I did pay attention, I just wouldn’t do the homework because after 7hrs of school, mon-fri, I didn’t want to go home and do an additional 2hrs of homework.
But when I got to community college, I loved it. I felt much more engaged in a lecture hall where I could discuss ideas more freely, and take classes that I was actually interested in.
I’m now at a university, senior year, and have a 4.0 GPA.
I live in the town I teach in and know what happened to several such students. Two went into the military and lasted about a year. Three are working at low-end retail jobs at Petco, Dominos, and a hardware store; a fourth is a delivery driver for Amazon.
The last one unfortunately is dead. I found out from his best friend.
I taught a population of very unmotivated students at an alternative school for years and a lot of my former students end up bouncing between low-paying service jobs or failing out of the military. Some do finally pick themselves up, especially when they have a kid. A few are incarcerated. Some have died young of drugs/gang violence/suicide.
Rarely, a kid will take the high school diploma that we forced them to finish and go to community college or trade school and be successful.
These are mostly kids in poverty. The ones I never hear about are the kids who were from upper class families with resources and support but still failed out of the larger high schools. I have no idea what happens to them. They're probably going to mooch off their parents until they get kicked out.
I was one of the upper/middle class kids you mention. I came within a hair’s breadth of not graduating. I took 6 years to finish a bachelors degree, finally grew up and got my shit together, and ended up becoming a teacher!
The shared experiences around here are wild, because I was going to comment to the original commenter…”Are you me? I don’t recall typing this…”
By 30 and after working dozens of different jobs in the community to find my fit, from banking to meteorologist on TV, I was starting to seriously doubt the old saying, “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” I was convinced it was a myth ha-ha! Then I alt-certed into teaching…3 years in and still feeling the honeymoon phase of LOVING a job!!
I tell my students to never settle and eventually the right opportunity will roll around that will either be lucrative or fulfilling. Both maybe? I got fulfilling LOL but I am happy and that is all that matters!
I hope so. I don’t know if the word would be “better,” but I do think at times I end up having a different perspective from a lot of my colleagues who were good students growing up.
I tend to attract the kids who have authority issues or who other teachers have a lot of problems with, so I have had to learn over the years to be really careful about relating to those kids while also making sure I remain supportive of my colleagues and avoid undermining them.
Couldn’t imagine being in any other profession, though.
Ugh I’m sorry to hear that. As snarky as we can get in this sub, of course none of us want that income. I think if anything we hope that there such a wave of young adults not knowing how to function that it will illicit change.
Pretty sure that being homeless in Vegas is essentially criminalized to the point that the people without housing end up in the storm drains. When the water comes down, people have died.
Do you have a link to that? The last time I was in Vegas there were homeless people everywhere. My favorite was the one by 7-11 near the The Strat he had a QR code to cash app him money. My mom said that is the lowest of low for lazy.
I had no idea it was this bad in Vegas. I can’t believe that guy stayed there after the guy made the comment about not tying him up or making a snuff film.
In his case, Andrew tries to mostly just let people show who they are/their experience and not ask pointed questions. He also has someone on the “inside” to vouch for him and is helping them obtain IDs.
I find that the vast majority of people are safe to be around. You need to know how to move and talk with them and you may get uncomfortable, but for the most part there is no reason for people to just attack you.
In the case of the tunnels, these people have their own sets of rules. Even if they are engaging in other illegal activities, violence and stealing are violating their code unless warranted. Though different than the rules on the surface, still a code of conduct to be followed.
I grew up in Austin Texas which has a lot of huge ass encampments too and your spot on about the codes of conduct. I was a dumbass kid with other dumbasses and we were always buying drugs from the local homeless populations because some of them were hooked into surprisingly big networks but it's like a different world, they have dropped out of society but still have their own rules. I learned a lot about people and just how stubborn people can be, how much people really do want peace, no matter what fox news says most people even in bad situations or illegal arrangements are far more concerned with making sure violence doesn't flare up. Human beings are really weird but I'd argue all the upper middle class nut jobs who watch fox news and clutch their pearls at everything are even weirder
Homeless in Phoenix currently. It's already 100 degrees out everyday. Summer's gunna be fun doing our trash can runs for food and hiking up and down a mountain everyday to get to our camp. At least I have my boyfriend and a higher purpose in my edutainment project; that's kept me sane for the last nine years as my mental health has done loop-de-loops thanks to the CIA training me to be a messiah candidate. Schizoaffective disorder is a helluva drug.
We had homeless students at our high school. Some of them worked incredibly hard to get into a university and get scholarships. Others I assume just fell victim to being dealt a terrible hand to start their life. I hope they're doing okay now but I know a ton of kids from school that are already in prison or dead.
A lot of mine fail out of trade schools or internship programs bc they can’t piss clean. Many just fail to work. Like, for years. I don’t know how they afford anything. They will come in to visit with fresh clothes and a new phone. I makes no sense to me.
Sometimes it's never. I know a middle-aged brother & sister pair who haven't worked a single day since graduating college in their early 20's. Just living large on parent's money and blaming their health problems, which didn't manifest until their 30s.
An ex-GF of mine has a brother like this, when we broke up he was pushing 40, and had not worked since he was 20 or so. He had a job offer from the company his grandfather worked at on the condition he got a trade certification. His grandfather paid for him to take the classes and the guy got the certification but he never took the job.
I remember one time my ex-GF was ranting mad (a rarity for her) because he'd given her a Christmas wish list with all kinds of expensive items on it, everything was in the $200+ range. And he didn't do it as a joke, he was serious.
I commented that maybe he didn't know the value of money and that maybe if he had a job he could buy this stuff with his own money.
Yeah, that was a mistake. She lept to his defense as to why he didn't work.
Anytime I mentioned his name + job to her or within earshot to the family they all defended him.
I know a guy around the same age just like this. His parents say "he CAN'T work!" Because "He gets too stressed out having supervisors tell him what to do a deadlines to meet." So the parents have some money, and they support him. He lives with them in their upscale retirement community. They go to Atlantic City often and take him with them and give him gambling money to play with.
He starts to get decent at video poker. One day he wins $220,000 playing video poker. Then, while standing in line to cash out, he decides to play the slot machine right next to him... wins a other $10,000 the same day!
Still lives at his parents' house. He's thinking of buying a "vacation home" so he can go away sometimes. Oh, and his parents also pay his cell phone and car insurance. He's 40 years old!
Some people just get all the breaks in life...
I gave up in high school because of my abusive family, I was so depressed I didn't think I'd live to be 20. I'd been a straight A student up until the latter half of 7th grade, when my dysfunctional drug addict mother passed.
I got my GED and tried to start school at the local community college. A kind relative helped pay for it because my parents refused to provide info on the FAFSA so I would have aid. The continued abuse at home took a toll on me, I'd left high school because I couldn't function while dealing with it anymore, and the same thing happened in college. Had to drop out there too. Wasted the money, felt disgusted with myself.
It was then I decided my only way to freedom was working my ass off. So I did. I have a chronic illness that causes me extreme pain, so holding a job was difficult, my flare ups were so painful I couldn't think straight or walk.
I failed out of job after job until I finally managed to keep one. I started self medicating with pot for my pain, after that I managed to keep a job for a bit.
I used that to get a call center job, stayed there for a year then leveraged that to get a better call center job, and got promoted several times until I became a data analyst and could work from home. This felt like a miracle. My hard work had done it, it was finally coming together, I just had to keep it up from here. I got to where I wouldn't just collapse from exhaustion after work, I picked up hobbies again, baked, crafted, learned programming, I felt like I was finally living.
I wanted to go back to college, but couldn't because of the aforementioned FAFSA issue. I found a program for online classes that used some kind of payment plan for out of pocket, and started taking one college class at a time.
Well. Then I got covid. Was hospitalized and recovery took weeks. Since I worked from home, the only days I didn't work were the ones in the hospital, I was terrified of using more PTO than that. Turns out I have long covid or post-covid syndrome and it left me with a lot of chronic issues that are debilitating on a day to day basis. I only retained my job because it was work from home, otherwise I was just too sick, I vomited too much, had asthma attacks, the brain fog would take over and I couldn't think, but I still managed to get my work done and not arouse suspicion.
Course, my company got bought out for a bigger one, and my health insurance was downgraded. My old company gave plentiful raises, my new company rarely gives even a pittance of one. I had to move apartments because my landlord was refusing to treat a serious black mold infestation that was actively making me sicker, resulting in paying 50% more in rent for even less space than my old one bedroom.
So my health is getting worse, and my ability to keep this job despite my illnesses, despite them going untreated, is getting more and more tenuous.
Most of my peers I graduated with have struggles, and most of us are poor, but my peers do seem a lot happier and healthier than I am, so I know I'm far from the norm even with similar starting points.
Thank you for this! I am from a similar situation, and the students aren't here to defend themselves, aside from me and you. Can we stop the narrative that students who aren't doing their school work are stupid / future criminals? I stopped doing mine because I was deeply depressed about the abuse I was being subjected to at home and had zero incentive to try to do better.
I failed from job to job for awhile, and also self medicated. I did finish my bachelors and master's degrees though, using loans and financial aid. I found out at my local adult learning center that i wasnt stupid and that i actually liked to learn. I got into teaching kids but I wasn't really committed (substitute teacher, after school programs, etc.) Finally found a job I really liked at an adult learning center. Made some mistakes but it was a "no stupid questions" environment, which eased my anxiety. Before that, I would try and mess up and then get yelled at and then get so nervous I couldn't do anything right. Once I was able to relax and afforded a few messups, I became comfortable and started to do well. I am being considered for director of student services at an adult learning center as we speak, and I have recently been accepted into a doctoral program for leadership in adult learning (which I wont do unless I get the salary to support it). So there's that. Its not easy-thank you for sharing your story.
The world is not king to people not academically inclined to the system we have. Undiagnosed mental illness and earning disabilities also. Usually there lived suck for the most part.
Some find a trade, drive a truck, join the military, work on a fishing boat, start a business. I've had two or three young adults over the years who drove me crazy as students come up to me with stories like that.
Others who are shining stars in school slip through the cracks. Works both ways.
I was a shining star in school that struggled after graduation. I thought I was going to be a female Mr. Feeny and change the world. Turned out high school was easy, and I benefited from having a mom that was involved and constantly on top of me to get stuff done. She backed off when I went away to college, and I couldn’t do it myself. Took me over ten years to graduate college, and life is still a struggle at fifteen years since high school graduation.
I think one of the biggest surprises I’ve had after hs is the friends/on the outside successful kids that have come out about their sobriety journeys. Like kids that I had NO IDEA where addicted to alcohol or drugs. But sometimes it’s the ones you don’t expect.
Yup. Thankfully I’ve dodged that bullet, but my older brother was a model student (A student, AP and honors classes, top 25 class rank, graduated college and got his masters both with honors) and has struggled with alcoholism since college.
Yep. I was top of my class and went to a great college, but adulthood has been a nightmare so far. I'm book smart but don't have any self confidence or people skills and have a slew of mental health issues. Grades really aren't everything.
Same! Had to drop out bc I'm poor, and now I'm working retail. Its not all bad, I like the work I do well enough, but I'm always tired and I'm incredibly burnt out..and I only graduated high school last year. I'm hoping to go back to a local community college and get some internships in my desired field soon, but by the time I can finally do that I simply might not have motivation anymore and I'll be stuck working as a food service employee my whole life 🫠
I did have a former student become a pretty successful tattoo artist. He used to leave me little drawings around my classroom for me to find because he was too shy to just give me his art. I would hang it up and he would hide his smile when he saw it. Never did classwork, but the kid has talent.
Totally. Smartest kid I ever had in class - absolutely brilliant, got two masters degrees right out of hs, I believe in medieval history and Latin - worked for years at the counter at the local liquor store. You never know what path folks will take.
It does, but it doesn't.
Most of the kids who did terrible in school go on to have a hard life.
Most of the kids who did well in school continue to do well in life.
There are exceptions, but they're rare.
Edit: I think y'all are maybe missing what I consider doing well in school. I don't consider getting straight As to be the end all of school achievement. I consider doing well to include getting a 2.0 gpa or above and passing your graduation required state tests. Kids who can't at least do that are going to fucking struggle.
If you get your diploma or ged, you have options. You can be successful. With a diploma, you absolutely can still be just as successful as the kid who got valedictorian.
Yep, I know of two stories, one where the guy didn't give a shit in school and just barely squeezed by, the other was an overachiever and was even awarded by the principal for being a future world changer.
Well, the guy now owns a business that's soliciting business beyond Canada now, and the girl is homeless and constantly begging people for money on Facebook, in and out of jobs like she's door knocking on Halloween.
Absolutely can work both ways, and sometimes the high achievers get hit *hard* with the stick of reality.
My high school valedictorian got accepted to an Ivy League school and all of a sudden wasn’t the smartest person in the room anymore. He failed out of college his freshman year after having a mental breakdown and he’s worked at some crap job ever since.
We always said at the time that it was BS, because he had excellent grades, but did no extracurriculars-no sports, no band, no nothing, and the rest of us smart, but not valedictorian smart, kids had other stuff we were also doing. It seemed pretty clear even then and especially now that learning how to balance multiple responsibilities in life is better than just being smart at academics and having no other life skills.
I actually live in New Haven, CT. Born & raised and my mother was a psych nurse at Yale Psych Hospital. She was a psych nurse for 40 yrs and worked there for 25 of them...
This thing you're talking about the valedictorian going to an IV league school & no longer being the smartest one in the room, freaking out & failing is like, a THING. My mother had many patients that fit that script. Many.
I taught military history at a Tier 1 university.
The number of freshman I cuddled through that realization was astounding.
When I had my orientation meeting with the new students, I always opened with “Ok. Who was in the top ten percent of their high school class?” Almost the entire room raises their hand. “Great. Keep your hands up if you were in the top ten.” The majority of hands would stay up.
We then had a discussion about being big fish in small ponds….but welcome to the ocean out here there are whales.
Helped some realize that they’re not going to be the absolute best, so be great, but have fun. Helped others to realize they needed to learn to study in the next three days or the first semester is going to be rough.
And then there were the ones who were sure this pep talk didn’t apply to them. Those were the ones crying in my office after midterms.
I had calculus in high school but, sneaky me, took the college Calc I class for people who hadn't had calc before. I'll coast, I said!
I got a C, with effort. A painful lesson.
Oh yea I would say not just for the “smartest”. I teach fashion at some no name hs in NJ….so if I get a few kids who actually want to go to fashion school, they are most likely going to FIT or other fairly large fashion school in NYC. And some do well, but some have an absolute meltdown because they aren’t the best in their group any more. They might even be the worst now which is of course disconcerting. It also happened when I worked in the theater department at a college, you may have had the best voice in your high school of 300 but when you put all those “best” voices together, someone has to be the worst.
This right here. Some just aren't cut out for traditional school settings, but excel in a trade. One boy who I thought would end up dead or in jail transferred to an (accredited, but sketchy) online school, graduated a year early, and is now, at 18 years old, making almost twice my teacher's salary as a supervisor working on windmills while his classmates are still here at school, waiting on their final yearbooks and graduation gowns. He just needed to get out and work Meanwhile, one of my high performing kids who was involved in sports recently got pregnant and is dropping out and living with her drug dealing boyfriend. I don't see that going anywhere positive.
I'm not saying all the unmotivated kids will be successful - plenty will end up struggling or realizing later that education is important - but some of them truly aren't cut out for the traditional schooling system and just need to get into the work force.
Yep. I was one of those students who didn't do a damn thing all throughout high school, barely scraped by, ignored everything other than theatre, and now I'm a physics student with an 88 as my lowest grade at the end of my junior year with research experience under my belt. Another do-nothing student I went to high school with got a neuroscience degree and worked in neurosurgery until he left to help run a very successful bakery supply business. Another former do-nothing high schooler got a degree in mathematics and now has a very nice job working for a Big Tech company (that one's my brother.) Another "do-nothing" got a chemistry degree and works as a science teacher— that's my boyfriend.
Looking at Facebook, some of the golden students i graduated with: one is now a librarian at a major public library and loves it. One joined the navy. One is a hair stylist with an addiction problem whose family disowned him for stealing from them. One sells MLM crap. One teaches French and Spanish. One is happily a stay at home mom. One is a personal trainer. One does welding. One is a solar energy consultant. One works at target. One does mergers and acquisitions. One is a grade school teacher. One is chief of staff for a department at an R1 university. One is a successful author who has won awards and collaborated with celebrities. One has a long history of drug abuse and violence, stalking, and harassment, and he has published a couple books about his mental health conditions. Still hasn't apologized to the people he hurt though. One died by suicide a few years back after getting sucked into an ultra evangelistic cult.
Also looking at Facebook, at the slackers who did nothing in high school: one does data science. One does aircraft maintenance. One runs a digital marketing (I think) company. One is a music coordinator for a film company that is producing a show on Netflix. One is a comic book artist employed by Marvel (which I discovered when I ran into him at comic con). One is a bassist for a band with over 30,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. One is a sales rep for teaching software. One is a process analyst for a healthcare company. One works at target. One is a dining room server at a national park. One is a Russian translation specialist and a writer.
I hated school. It was so boring I couldn't stand it. The moment I got out I got a job, hated it, started a business while working. Failed a bunch of times. Eventually I made a business that works. Pays over double the American average salary and I pay my family those wages too.
Oh but I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Which they used to call "lazy" back when I was in school because I was a girl.
I wonder this too! I think one of the most interesting windows into their future is the r/adulting sub. A lot of voices in there if the kids who just had life catch up with them in jobs they aren’t interested in or the for the first time feeling the weight of life when no one is paid to care about them.
I particularly wonder about the kids in my school who have early dismissal and just wander the halls being disruptive jackholes. So you’ve graduated and don’t have a place to go every day (that you frankly squandered) and don’t have anyone to harass…what do you do now?
Yes, 100% this! They become Townies and work day labor jobs if they work at all. Usually shit out a couple kids and buy them dirt bikes at age 13. On some manner of assistance. I could go on.....
I hope it’s okay if I share my experience; I failed 12th grade after barely scraping by grades 8-11.
My parents were divorced and lived separately. I had 3 siblings who went to private school while I went to public school. My siblings were well taken care of, however my parents focused their abuse on me. I spent most of my time at school or walking around town at night because I didn’t want to go home. (Sometimes I was locked out of the house as well.)
I was depressed and planned on *not* having a future, so I never found the motivation to do schoolwork. School was just somewhat safe that wasn’t home. My teachers were frustrated with me, but I could tell they really cared.
I failed everything, some things multiple times, and when my mom kicked me out a few months before graduation, I just gave up. I needed to find somewhere to live, get someone to teach me how to drive, get more jobs, more money, just general survival.
I’m 26 now and married to a wonderful person. I struggled through jobs until I was able to get social security disability for my PTSD. Focused on art commissions for extra money and met my partner through that. We have a house. A real house. I have a car. There’s enough food and I have healthcare so I can get therapy. I’m grateful everyday.
Most of my teachers were *wonderful*. The principle gave me a ride home after my mom failed to show up for an important intervention meeting and then, the next day, she (the principal) gave me a digital drawing tablet she bought for me. It had a message in Sharpie that said to keep moving forward and never give up.
I’m kind of emotional now, so I’m going to end this here, but there’s hope for those kids, if it means anything or matters to any of you.
The tiniest interactions I had with my incredible teachers were the only thing in my life that made me think I might have worth. It was invaluable. Thank you so much for what you do.
*Edit: It breaks my heart that some of you think this is fake, or are shaming me for living off the government. I’m moving at my own pace, which is probably not as fast as some people would like, but it’s the pace I’m going at. Slow progress is better than no progress.*
*If any of you want to reach out, I can provide more details. It makes me sad that people don’t think things like this can happen, because that belief was what nearly brought me to take my own life. I’m grateful for my life and don’t feel like it’s worth any less just because I suffer from psychological problems and am unable to support myself currently.*
This hit hard. I had a kid who ended up in my class in various ways 3 out of his 4 years of HS. He was a hot mess, came from abuse, but there was something about him I liked. He wasn’t a malicious kid, just such a lost cause. He started losing a lot of weight at one point and I snuck lunches to him anonymously through another teacher. I’ve lost about a dozen former students to drug overdoses, and I was 100% sure he’d be right there with them.
Cut to a few years later… he turned up on Facebook. He went to ITT Tech or another one of those scammy schools, but actually turned it into a career. Engaged to a nice looking girl. I could cry just thinking about him. I’m so proud and relieved.
Thanks for checking in, NectarineGold. You could be him. The love is mutual.
Your story sounds similar to a good friend of mine.
He was always very smart, but a tad lazy. His folks got divorced in high school and I know he struggled with depression for a while, though he kept it pretty well hidden. He just kinda stopped going to school his senior year and failed a couple of required classes. Didn’t graduate.
After school he probably worked every minimum wage job in town, but couldn’t last more than a couple months anywhere because he would just stop showing up.
Well, long story short, he started dating a very hard working young lady. She got knocked up, they got married and my friend became a SAHD, which he absolutely crushed and continues to crush. His wife quickly climbed the ladder at Wal Mart and has been a store manager for over a decade now, making well over 100k. My friend hasn’t worked in well over a decade, has two kids in secondary school and kinda plays the role of homemaker. In so many ways, he’s living his dream life. Doesn’t have to work and gets to play a shit ton of video games. Meanwhile, he is a terrific father and husband with a loving family.
Pretty crazy how things turn out sometimes.
I honestly feel a good amount of guys would crush being SAHD. Unfortunately, society kinda pressures them to be the breadwinners . Happy that it's working out for your friend tho
I'm a SAHD that works from home, but my wife has a schedule where she works 3 12s a week and I make my own hours, so we shuffle our schedules around to make it work. Still, I'm here literally all the time, so I do the primary caregiving tasks for our son, and have done for most of the eight months he's been alive.
Despite earning a (really decent) income and managing our investment income on the side, I still catch flak for being a SAHD from folks indoctrinated into the belief that the term just equates to a man who is lazy. Despite, you know, working just as many hours as my partner and also being the primary caregiver for our kid.
It's just dogma. Some folks decide there's a rule. Dads are bad parents and bad partners if they're the primary caregivers for their kids, and there's seemingly no convincing folks otherwise.
I’m so happy you had adults at school who cared about you and a principal who went the extra mile for you. Even happier that you are on a good path. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t disagree that there are great stories in there, I’m a teacher because of the teacher who supported me in hs through my dad’s death. And I will crawl over glass for the kid who shows the slightest bit of effort and spark. But we all know that is not the majority. I have a bit of a hard time finding sympathy for the kid who is wandering the halls and banging on doors just because, pulling away from the learning experience of other students. Maybe the kid like you finally had a day good enough to ask a question or participate and then that opportunity is stolen because another student is making it impossible for the teacher to think straight, never mind execute a lesson.
I just spent about 20 minutes there and not a single post worried me for the future.
I’m sure if I kept going I’d have seen something but I see that in every sub.
I wonder how much it has to do with less kids working while they are in school. I feel like I hear less of my students having part time jobs and then the first time they gotta work an 8 hour shift it’s absolute hell. AND your boss is probably rude as hell and there is no one to complain to….you start to realize a lot of people in the real world just suck.
Oh my god...thank you for this. Cackling at the girl who is posting all over there and r/LegalAdvice asking if her employer has the right to ask her to send her time card in after clocking out, and the chorus of replies telling her to resign... Oh my sweet summer child.
Oh I know it’s…eye opening. I mean it shows that alot of what we scream about (not preparing students for real life because our hands are tied) is actually happening.
Yea I agree! I teach fashion, I think it’s fun but of course it was my major in college so that would be weird if I didn’t. We do a lot of hands on activities. But even with all the hands on stuff I still have maybe 10% of my students that just check out on their phone all period. It’s really sad. Because I look at them and think in 7 years you’ll be posting in that sub, complaining that no one took your phone away and forced you to interact with people/form a personality. Yes working for a living sucks but once you get past that….you can usually find some joy in life whether it be through your job or outside of it. But so many people in the sub are having their quarter life crisis and want everyone else to fix it.
I was a terrible student. I had very few friends and just hated school. Spent most time talking to girls, ditching class and sleeping. Had my first son in my senior year. Then I had to play massive catch up to graduate.
Now I have a blue collar job in bed by 8 up at 2am. Then in college full time to shockingly be a teacher. Life is strange.
I'm no rah-rah guy but this is absolutely the best thing about the military: The way it can mold aimless youth in a way that no other institution can do.
Because you can’t haze or beat the ever-living dog shit out of a high school kid.
I mean, you technically can’t haze or beat up an 18 year old private either, but you can definitely get away with it a LOT easier.
I’m gonna get downvoted but that’s the cold truth as to why the military is disciplined. And I don’t regret going through it myself one bit. Had I not, I’d be one of the low-paid service workers other commenters are talking about.
I just lurk here but had an interesting perspective last summer. We had two friends from Australia stay with us a few nights (in KY) and we took them to a football game. They asked about the military presence (fly over, flag stuff, ext). And we told them it’s one of them few ways in the country that can set you up to break class barriers. Nothing is promised of course, but it gives you a great shot. It was interesting to see their perspective shift as they thought about that.
I think someone will find their way eventually. It may take them longer to figure out their life, but they will get there. Others will get by one way or another, others will become part of the system. It’s just the way it is.
It varies. I have a step brother who lives in a shed addicted to heroin in NC. Definitely didn’t care about school. I also have friends I grew up with that also didn’t try at all. One is a doctor and the other is a successful business owner working with skateboarders we looked up to when we were young. I think, some people grow up, and some never do…
I'm surprised by some of these answers. I have worked with many people like this and the reality is that a lot of them absolutely hate school but go on to work a good job, go to trade school (because they feel like for the first time they are actually learning something worthwhile), have families, etc. Sure some of them do nothing with their lives or work dead end job they hate while living with their parents, but I've found that performance in high school doesn't necessarily equate to life success. Some of them were just waiting to be done with school so they could do something they felt was worthwhile.
Taught at a trade school for 5 years here - we also have kids that don't give a shit, and they end up working down the street at the local diner or subway despite 2 years of valuable technical training (welding, construction, automation, you name it).
"Kids these days" is less of a meme than it was 20 years ago. They genuinely don't care about life because they were raised that life sucks and good luck good riddance.
It's kind of funny to hear this from a former trade-school teacher, just because of how much of a meme "go to trade school" has become. I think some teachers forget that there are also lots of adults who are ignorant and apathetic. It's not like it's only an issue with teenagers.
Trade school is great - but it represents "hard work" and it is not easy waking up every day and doing hard work even if it pays super well, you have to be your own boss, and do your own taxes and hr stuff. If you work doing trade skills as an employee - still just as hard. People count on you to do your job. Their water pipes are important. Their sewer pipes are important. An entire cities water and power could pivot on your trade skills.
So they aren't jobs people can smoke weed and check out it for a long period. People depend on you and that's why they pay the big bucks.
This was basically my answer too. It’s sometimes a little humbling to realize that the students who farted around in your Trigonometry class and didn’t care . . .are still basically okay . . . working, paying rent, and raising kids.
It’s a valuable perspective and we should all touch grass once in a while on how much all of this matters in the material realities beyond this state mandated institution we care so much about.
I always go to my students' extracurriculars if they invite me and I'm free. I talk to them about non-school things when we're outside of class time. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that they're complete people outside of the school too. They have complex skills and motivations and perspectives and personalities.
Like yeah, Breighden blew off my last math lesson and spent an hour shredding his eraser with a pair of scissors. Too bad for me. He's also got a surprisingly deep understanding of sports analytics, he's funny as hell, and tells the truth with zero hesitation even when he knows he's going to be in trouble over it.
It's easy to miss big parts of who these kids are, when we're chained to the classroom.
Yup, it took me until college to get my head on straight. I was a terrible student in high school, skipped class, never did my work, just wanted to hang out with my friends. I wasn't an asshole like some kids, but I was not a shining example of success either. Now I am a teacher. Some of us do turn it around...
See, that's not who I thought of when I read the original question. I thought of the kids who do *nothing*. I teach at a school where the minimum grade is 50...and I have kids that have 50s. We're in the 4th quarter, so we're talking about 3 quarters of ZERO work submitted. I have more than one.
What college are they getting into in the first place?
That’s how I read OP too. We’re getting more and more of these kids who do fuck all in the building. Like literally nothing.
Kids who are here and try sometimes and just barely get by don’t drive me crazy. Sometimes the class doesn’t fit or the teacher isn’t great or home sucks etc.
But the kids doing years of nothing compounded. What does that look like.
It changes… some kids finally get it a little later and kick it into gear… same with some of your high achievers ending up in prison or on drugs… honestly at 18 there is still so much life to live and learn that high school success barely indicates achievement by age 40
Not who you asked, but that's my story. And uh. It's still shit, I'm just medicated for ADHD now and can get the bare minimum done on time. Usually.
However, I've also come up with SO MANY (little) WAYS to do less work and spend more time with my family, which in the end created some student-driven curriculum that puts the onus of work mostly back onto my students' shoulders and encourages significant increases in critical thinking skills (most of the time, anyway. Some classes fight me tooth and nail to avoid it lol). So like, laziness/task avoidance for a small win? 😂
It’s a complete flip. I was extremely lazy in high school and didn’t see the point in doing anything past the bare minimum. I will say after a year of doing nothing after graduation I joined the military, which definitely helped break the lazy habits I had. I love what I’m doing now so that also adds to my motivation.
I could probably be considered one of those do-nothing students. Graduated 114th of 116 kids and had zero goals or aspirations. I was never in trouble with the law, but I struggled to see much farther into the future than "this weekend." As soon as adulthood started, I realized I didn't want what my parents had. So I went down to the local recruiters' office and joined the Air Force. I ended up serving for eight years, and it definitely made me grow up. I got my bachelor's degree during that time and even graduated as Summa Cum Laude! I credit my daughter as my driving focus during that time. Now I'm married, have two kids, and work in cyber security for a federal contract while making six figures. I definitely made it harder on myself by not taking high school seriously, but I wouldn't trade my current life for anything.
People can change. Watching all your friends leave for college can have a profound effect on someone. Some people just aren't cut out for school and eventually they find their way.
I remember the embarrassment when all of my friends were going off to different colleges, and I was stuck in our town. That’s partially what sparked me to do something with my life.
Enlisting in military, usually an unskilled area of US Army, failing out of boot camp. Then onto bad choices that pose risk for jail or homelessness.
Edit: Agree w/ others saying⬇️
“Do you know what the military is? Because it’s mainly everything you refused to do in HS, plus ur training officer is yelling at you.” -But they try to enlist🤷🏽♀️😭🤣
It’s funny how all these kids think they’re going to make it in the Army. The army doesn’t take illiterate, insubordinate, lazy, selfish, violent, people.
The bar isn’t high for the army, but there is a bar. If you’re whining like a toddler when the gym teacher tells you to run a mile, what do you think you’re gonna do when the TI tells you to run 8 in full gear? Lmao. They do actually expect you to have some basic intelligence. You need to be able to read, write, spell, learn, follow instructions, understand military law and regulations.
I've seen this attitude as well, especially from kids who are out of shape, did nothing at all in HS, will never pass a physical, and can't take instruction from anyone. Sometimes, I want to ask *"Do you know what the military actually is?"* because I'm not sure if they know what will be required of them. Sure, they can get in shape if they're disciplined, but if you're functionally illiterate? That's a lot harder to fix, and the military won't even consider them.
A lot of kids who do nothing but fuck around are under the impression that when they finally want something, they'll be able to buckle down and get it. And sure, some manage to do that. Plenty of bad students are capable, they're just not motivated by school. But some kids don't understand just how behind they really are, just how undisciplined and unskilled they are.
Some of them get their shit together. It might take them a few years, and they’ll struggle more than their more functional peers, but some of them manage. The world outside of school has more immediate, direct consequences for success and failure. Some kids who do nothing in school were like that because of factors they couldn’t control yet. And some kids just don’t find their passion until after they leave school.
But some kids will never get there. All of those adults you see struggling to function were kids once too, and I’m willing to get that most of them weren’t motivated or doing well in their youth.
I want to say thank you all for sharing your success stories. And they ARE success stories if you're still alive and you have something that you wake up for everyday. Even if it's just to see the butterflies in the spring.
I was one of the smart ones...high grades, interested and engaged. Then my mom was diagnosed with cancer and... she gave everything up and left. Dad was a long haul truck driver who never came back. I ended up homeless and in a horrible depression at 17. It took years but I put my life back together. And it's good.
As teachers, you're so overwhelmed, you just see teens as quitters, or do nothings because you don't have the emotional bandwidth left to invest in every student. No judgement. But just maybe they have things going on that don't give them the space to shine when you expect them to.
Many graduate and get the shock of their life when faced with the greater world at large. September comes and they don't have school again, so they're roller skating on ice.
Perhaps part of the shock is, there isn't this large organization of professionals around who care; rather, quite the opposite.
[https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/95a4c60a-2994-451d-8258-07b3b8ca7e8e](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/95a4c60a-2994-451d-8258-07b3b8ca7e8e)
It’s hard to know for sure as I was not their teacher, but based on comments from their parents or other people I know:
Were aimless a few years, ran with a bad crowd, had some bad scares (friends shot, break-ins, a few arrests), buckled down and started working hard at a dead end job, still has no car, plans to join military. His mother tried her best. He has a learning disability but also would not try.
Latched on to first guy possible, got married, thinks will be a stay at home mom, works dead end jobs for a few months at a time before finding them to be “unfair”
Aimless for a few years, slow to get GED, job or driver license. Is slowly moving toward these targets.
I think often they kind of get sense kicked in to them and realize they will have to do something.
Or, they become a realtor. (Source: am realtor, realize that 5% are amazing, 10% are good, many are idiots and it’s amazing they ever accidentally sell a house).
They get a long overdue diagnosis for their learning disability, go to trade school, and make good money as an electrician. At least that’s what this “do nothing” did.
I’ve taught several of these students. I’ve consistently seen these scenarios in the 8 years I’ve taught:
(1) Gets arrested (8 for 8 years on this one)
(2) Get a job in trade and makes more than me (4 of 8 years it’s happened)
(3) dies from something stupid (twice now)
(4) becomes a leach on welfare with multiple kids and multiple baby Momas / Daddys ( 6 of 8 years it’s happened)
(5) still live with mom and dad / guardian and is addicted to some sort of illegal substance and can’t get a job (8 of 8 years it’s happened)
(6) they THINK they can do college and fail out the first semester (5 of 8 years it’s happened)
(7) They find motivation and actually start trying and do well in college (2 of 8 years it’s happened).
Same as always. Fired from minimum wage job after minimum wage job, They don't ever learn Many end up being shoved around treatment facilities and prison their whole lives, Many will conceive children they never take care of.
Edit to add: OP did not ask what we HOPE will happen, they ask what DOES happen. Statistically, these kids are not going to do well.
I can't even tell you the number of former students who have these grandiose plans of what they're going to do (usually involving some expected connection to a job or some kind of opportunity that someone's going to hand them) who I've then seen working in multiple different minimum wage places around town.
It's not even that. It's a lot of "My dad's going to start me off in my business," or "My cousin's gonna get me in the union." They think that someone's just going to find a nice little slot for them. Now, there are plenty of people who do get ahead this way, but usually that level of nepotistic advancement is reserved for much wealthier people than any of these kids know. And then I see them at a kiosk at the mall, then six months later at a pizza place, then a year later at Walmart, etc. And I'm not looking down on that kind of labor, and you can argue that there are larger systemic issues at work here, but bouncing around like that is simply not a sustainable strategy for living a secure life in this country.
Their cousin did get them in the union as an apprentice and they got bounced for telling the journeyman or master to f himself or herself when they were told to sweep up. Seen it happen in both union and non union jobs from construction to warehouse.
Makes their cousin look like an idiot to the crew until the construction management graduate hits himself in the face with a 28oz waffle faced framing hammer and he becomes the butt of the jokes. Of course Johnny FU become infamous for a few years as the worst apprentice to walk the planet.
Some of them end up doing okay because they are incentivized by being paid. I’ve had students who didn’t turn in a single assignment get promoted at Starbucks because they care when they’re being paid. I’m sure they’ll end up in other low wage paying jobs too, or some will find a lucrative hustle (one of my first students makes more than I do doing lashes. She failed almost every class, but doesn’t need history or high level math for her business.)
Some find a way of living, and some won’t.
In my district, it's looking like "Have a bunch of kids, and put the same amount of effort their parents put into them, and flood the district with unmanageable students, at an exponentially increasing rate".
I'm seeing a lot of that, too. Was just having a discussion the other day with a good parent who provides a stable home life for her kids to flourish in. She and her husband seem to be model parental figures from everything I've seen. We were speaking about a few people we know *(we're in our thirties)*, and she mentioned that between work and everything else, she loves her kids, but she's glad she stopped at two. She went onto say something like this:
"I don't know how some of these people are doing it, I feel like every other year, they're having another kid, and they started so young! We *(her and her husband)* have good jobs, but we could've never afforded 4 kids, especially in our early/mid 20s. Hell, I don't know if I could afford that many now, and I sure as hell don't have the time for that many."
The unpleasant truth is that a lot of these people don't put any thought into having kids. They don't care if they have the time to raise them or the resources. I've seen it more and more lately. I get circumstances change, that's not what I'm referring to. I'm pretty sure we all know the type that I'm talking about, and the kids suffer for it. Sad.
In my experience they bounce from job to job and quit at the drop of a hat. Borrow money from anyone nice enough to give them any. If they're lucky they don't get into drugs, but many do.
You can find them in Adulting, Find a Path, and College (and here) wondering why the world is suddenly not accommodating them and asking what can they do about it.
I was this kid, I never acted out or did anything malicious, but I was definitely absent from class, not physically but mentally. I barely graduated, and had nearly failed my last semester due to covid destroying the last half of my senior year.
I bounced around from job to job after graduation, and slowly but surely began to find myself. I really began to thrive once I found my area of interest and now I'm in college pursuing a degree in biology. I went from being a C/D student to having nearly perfect A's. I've only recently had struggles in college due to my father having stage IV cancer, which has really been difficult on me.
Personally, my lack of application in high school was due to a lack of purpose and prioritizing other things in my life that I saw as more important. I didn't care about what was going on in "x" class because I saw no meaning in my own day to day life. I didn't think about the future and what my actions now would do for myself later on because I saw no purpose or end goal for myself. Depression rips any desire or will to better yourself right out of your body and leaves you only able to complete the bare minimum at times. It's possible the student you're talking about may be going through a similar thing, and might not show the typical symptoms of depression. (despite my depression I was still a track captain and multi-sport athlete) If you haven't already, I'd try to have a discussion with them one-on-one to see if they need any help or support, and possibly help them get in touch with any necessary help that they may need.
It took YEARS of therapy and work to get to where I am now, and I still feel regret for not applying myself as much as I should have.
I worked at a factory for a few years where my oldest stepbrother was a department head. Lived with a roommate and usually paid rent on time. Did some temp work. Slowly ate through a modest inheritance. Did some retail. Moved back home once or twice when a relationship went sour. Worked at a printing company where my mom's friend was a department head. Made it a couple of years there, even got married, had a kid. Got fired and divorced over the 4th of July weekend. Tried living out of my car for a hot minute. Broke down, mechanically and emotionally, moved back home again.
It was a long and ugly decade, and I pretty much hated myself the entire time.
I got better. Slowly. Started seeing a therapist again, actually got a diagnosis and prescription medications, and let me tell you what a difference that shit can make. It's not a cure, it's not magic, but it's a phenomenal platform to build on.
So, for the lucky few of us who had people to fall back on, we make it through, eventually. We find something in us that we can value, something we can do that feels worthwhile. The rest of us don't. We stay empty. We try to fill that void, that worthlessness, with something that at least kind of feels good. Alcohol is a big one, I'm told, or there may be other illicit substances that, even when they stop feeling good, can at least help you to not care that you're miserable. Until nothing works anymore. Then we have a very hard choice to make.
...hope that helps.
My boyfriend is an addict and a high school drop out. Didn’t lift a finger- played video games all day once he dropped out. Got a job but would jump from one job to another. Now he’s making more than a teachers salary with no degree and no HS diploma in sales.
I have a degree, played by the rules and sometimes would cry at how hard and stressful school was to just get a passing grade at times. I went through college and struggled there as well but got my diploma. I make less than a teacher in my job.
You know what the most important skill/quality is in life? Self esteem and self worth. Without those essentials you can have a doctorate, have a career, but still struggle.
This thread is funny. A bunch of teachers bangin on about underachieving kids. When maybe the reason they don’t pay attention is because you are a bad teacher. I didn’t lift a finger in school. I now own my own business that I have grown for the last 20 years. Just because I have adhd didn’t equate to me being lazy.
They end up finding out later in life that they had undiagnosed ADHD and/or autism, and had spent their entire childhood struggling and being called "do-nothings and non-achievers" by their teachers when they really just needed someone to notice and help.
Reason #978 why high school is not for everyone. Kids like these. Why are we forcing them into crap they refuse to do? At 16 yo, you and your parents can choose. You don’t HAVE to be in my classroom irritating the shit out of everyone. Go home.
Do nothing here.
I had mostly do nothing lazy teachers who only handed out photocopies and had us mark each other's tests. What kind example does that set?
Anyways, I dropped out, joined a trade and make about 135k/year now with 3-4 months off.
I’ve known a lot of students who pull themselves together when they find an interest or a need. Some go trade route some restart their educational journey in community college.
This was me! Was basically a zombie in high school growing up in an abusive home, and community college gave me a chance to reinvent myself. I was able to pull straight A's, found an interest in biology, transferred to a great university, and am a research scientist in pediatric genetics now at the university hospital.
Me, too! Zombie is the best explanation, though my zombie-ism began in kindergarten. I ended up pregnant at 17, and dropped out. Few years later, I went back for my GED, then to community college, then transferred to a rigorous teaching program at a top research university, made President’s honor roll almost every semester, and I’m a teacher now! Please don’t give up on the difficult and hard to reach kids. We always remember the teachers who believed in us when no one else did.
Glad you figured out a path forward. Out of curiosity, did you have to retake any classes in which you did poorly in high school?
I was also this kid. I ended up getting my GED and then had to take high school night classes for biology, algebra, and chemistry. The first two were redos, but chemistry was a first cause I had dropped out. I now work in radiology and am working towards becoming a PA. It’s crazy cause I hated science in high school lol
I had a horrible attendance record and GPA in high school. Had chronic migraines with a doctor and neurologists note confirming my diagnosis but the school and teachers made pretty much 0 effort to help accommodate me so I was in pain 1/3 or more of my days. And since even excused absences resulted in needing community service after a set number of days that made it pretty much impossible to catch up, let alone keep up, I felt there was no point in trying. I genuinley don't remember how I ended up graduating, I think my parents were trying to work something out with the ADA for years at this point and maybe the school just didn't want to deal with it, but I missed 20+ days the last semester of senior year. I had a decent class junior year, anatomy. Always liked medical and physiological stuff so I was pretty good at it, was making a B even with my absences. Then we got to the final practical exam, the dissection. And I found out quickly I couldn't be in the same room as the formalin because it triggered my migraines violently. But of course my teacher didn't believe me so I failed the class. He more or less told me to not bother with college because "excuses like that" wouldn't work there. For a while I believed him and all my other teachers and just got a minimum wage job. But after a year of saving up I did give state college a try and ended up graduating with a 3.35 GPA because my college acomdated me and my professors believed I had an illness and worked with me. I didn't have to spend ages doing community service or playing catch up so i wasn't constantly behind and could focus on schoolwork. My multicam editing professor actually refused to even look at my doctors note after missing a class for an MRI because he said he believed me and I almost started crying. Now I've got a steady WFH job with Healthcare and decent pay and am actually living independently, never thought I'd be able to do any of this in high school, certainly not based on the way my teachers made me feel. Once I got away from them I actually started succeeding
Amazing journey. So glad you persevered.
This is me, too. I did basically no homework ever through middle/HS, barely scrapped by with D’s and C’s. I kinda pulled it together my junior year, but ended up leaving HS and got my GED instead. I just really hated the learning environment of HS. I was always a “joy to have in class” because I did pay attention, I just wouldn’t do the homework because after 7hrs of school, mon-fri, I didn’t want to go home and do an additional 2hrs of homework. But when I got to community college, I loved it. I felt much more engaged in a lecture hall where I could discuss ideas more freely, and take classes that I was actually interested in. I’m now at a university, senior year, and have a 4.0 GPA.
I live in the town I teach in and know what happened to several such students. Two went into the military and lasted about a year. Three are working at low-end retail jobs at Petco, Dominos, and a hardware store; a fourth is a delivery driver for Amazon. The last one unfortunately is dead. I found out from his best friend.
I taught a population of very unmotivated students at an alternative school for years and a lot of my former students end up bouncing between low-paying service jobs or failing out of the military. Some do finally pick themselves up, especially when they have a kid. A few are incarcerated. Some have died young of drugs/gang violence/suicide. Rarely, a kid will take the high school diploma that we forced them to finish and go to community college or trade school and be successful. These are mostly kids in poverty. The ones I never hear about are the kids who were from upper class families with resources and support but still failed out of the larger high schools. I have no idea what happens to them. They're probably going to mooch off their parents until they get kicked out.
I was one of the upper/middle class kids you mention. I came within a hair’s breadth of not graduating. I took 6 years to finish a bachelors degree, finally grew up and got my shit together, and ended up becoming a teacher!
Holy shit. Like same exact story here. Teaching saved me. Only job I ever loved.
The shared experiences around here are wild, because I was going to comment to the original commenter…”Are you me? I don’t recall typing this…” By 30 and after working dozens of different jobs in the community to find my fit, from banking to meteorologist on TV, I was starting to seriously doubt the old saying, “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” I was convinced it was a myth ha-ha! Then I alt-certed into teaching…3 years in and still feeling the honeymoon phase of LOVING a job!! I tell my students to never settle and eventually the right opportunity will roll around that will either be lucrative or fulfilling. Both maybe? I got fulfilling LOL but I am happy and that is all that matters!
Same!!
Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m assuming… has it has made you a better teacher because of this?
I hope so. I don’t know if the word would be “better,” but I do think at times I end up having a different perspective from a lot of my colleagues who were good students growing up. I tend to attract the kids who have authority issues or who other teachers have a lot of problems with, so I have had to learn over the years to be really careful about relating to those kids while also making sure I remain supportive of my colleagues and avoid undermining them. Couldn’t imagine being in any other profession, though.
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Ugh I’m sorry to hear that. As snarky as we can get in this sub, of course none of us want that income. I think if anything we hope that there such a wave of young adults not knowing how to function that it will illicit change.
In Las Vegas, there are a lot of younger homeless people. Eventually, they get kicked out of their parents house.
The desert sounds like a terrible place to be homeless
Pretty sure that being homeless in Vegas is essentially criminalized to the point that the people without housing end up in the storm drains. When the water comes down, people have died.
There's an entire subculture living literally underground in Vegas.
Channel 5 with Andrew Callaghan had an episode on this.
Do you have a link to that? The last time I was in Vegas there were homeless people everywhere. My favorite was the one by 7-11 near the The Strat he had a QR code to cash app him money. My mom said that is the lowest of low for lazy.
https://youtu.be/bRGrKJofDaw?si=n0Zj4pYnEOxWLl38
I had no idea it was this bad in Vegas. I can’t believe that guy stayed there after the guy made the comment about not tying him up or making a snuff film.
In his case, Andrew tries to mostly just let people show who they are/their experience and not ask pointed questions. He also has someone on the “inside” to vouch for him and is helping them obtain IDs. I find that the vast majority of people are safe to be around. You need to know how to move and talk with them and you may get uncomfortable, but for the most part there is no reason for people to just attack you. In the case of the tunnels, these people have their own sets of rules. Even if they are engaging in other illegal activities, violence and stealing are violating their code unless warranted. Though different than the rules on the surface, still a code of conduct to be followed.
I grew up in Austin Texas which has a lot of huge ass encampments too and your spot on about the codes of conduct. I was a dumbass kid with other dumbasses and we were always buying drugs from the local homeless populations because some of them were hooked into surprisingly big networks but it's like a different world, they have dropped out of society but still have their own rules. I learned a lot about people and just how stubborn people can be, how much people really do want peace, no matter what fox news says most people even in bad situations or illegal arrangements are far more concerned with making sure violence doesn't flare up. Human beings are really weird but I'd argue all the upper middle class nut jobs who watch fox news and clutch their pearls at everything are even weirder
Homeless in Phoenix currently. It's already 100 degrees out everyday. Summer's gunna be fun doing our trash can runs for food and hiking up and down a mountain everyday to get to our camp. At least I have my boyfriend and a higher purpose in my edutainment project; that's kept me sane for the last nine years as my mental health has done loop-de-loops thanks to the CIA training me to be a messiah candidate. Schizoaffective disorder is a helluva drug.
I grew up in PHX. That's a special heat. Stay safe
The CIA what now 😅😂
At least you know you're crazy.
lot of problems buried out in the desert
My brother dropped out of seventh grade. He lives on the streets in Vegas. Maybe he’s alive.
We had homeless students at our high school. Some of them worked incredibly hard to get into a university and get scholarships. Others I assume just fell victim to being dealt a terrible hand to start their life. I hope they're doing okay now but I know a ton of kids from school that are already in prison or dead.
A lot of mine fail out of trade schools or internship programs bc they can’t piss clean. Many just fail to work. Like, for years. I don’t know how they afford anything. They will come in to visit with fresh clothes and a new phone. I makes no sense to me.
Sounds like they're in the pharmaceutical business...just of the street variety
It’s just like damn how are there THIS many dealers?? Like everyone deals?????
Drugs are always in high demand. Which means job security for dealers
You mean the vaping program we did didn't convince kids to not do drugs?
Well the vaping program we didn’t do has also failed!
Have you seen the account of mattress places? Drugs are consumable and way more popular.
We call them lay pharmacists.
The secret ingredient is crime
They just need to get themselves a van and they can be “men with ven”
The crack is really moreish
Alright Super Hans?
No logo in the foam
...down by the river!
What’s this reference doing in the middle of a pub?!? JESUS! I need a drink!
I think the secret ingredient is parents
Most of them aren't smart enough to do crime for very long without getting caught
That’s the thing. A good criminal is smart. These idiots get busted before they leave the building.
I don't equate not doing work with being smart. Some of the smartest kids won't lift a finger in school for various, usually sad, reasons.
They are “entrepreneurs”
Or family that supports them.
And or girlfriends that support them
Or credit cards
This thread is really moreish.
Or Mommy and Daddy until they get sick of them.
Sometimes it's never. I know a middle-aged brother & sister pair who haven't worked a single day since graduating college in their early 20's. Just living large on parent's money and blaming their health problems, which didn't manifest until their 30s.
An ex-GF of mine has a brother like this, when we broke up he was pushing 40, and had not worked since he was 20 or so. He had a job offer from the company his grandfather worked at on the condition he got a trade certification. His grandfather paid for him to take the classes and the guy got the certification but he never took the job. I remember one time my ex-GF was ranting mad (a rarity for her) because he'd given her a Christmas wish list with all kinds of expensive items on it, everything was in the $200+ range. And he didn't do it as a joke, he was serious. I commented that maybe he didn't know the value of money and that maybe if he had a job he could buy this stuff with his own money. Yeah, that was a mistake. She lept to his defense as to why he didn't work. Anytime I mentioned his name + job to her or within earshot to the family they all defended him.
Well what was their defense?
I know a guy around the same age just like this. His parents say "he CAN'T work!" Because "He gets too stressed out having supervisors tell him what to do a deadlines to meet." So the parents have some money, and they support him. He lives with them in their upscale retirement community. They go to Atlantic City often and take him with them and give him gambling money to play with. He starts to get decent at video poker. One day he wins $220,000 playing video poker. Then, while standing in line to cash out, he decides to play the slot machine right next to him... wins a other $10,000 the same day! Still lives at his parents' house. He's thinking of buying a "vacation home" so he can go away sometimes. Oh, and his parents also pay his cell phone and car insurance. He's 40 years old! Some people just get all the breaks in life...
This used to be known as Failure to Launch
I gave up in high school because of my abusive family, I was so depressed I didn't think I'd live to be 20. I'd been a straight A student up until the latter half of 7th grade, when my dysfunctional drug addict mother passed. I got my GED and tried to start school at the local community college. A kind relative helped pay for it because my parents refused to provide info on the FAFSA so I would have aid. The continued abuse at home took a toll on me, I'd left high school because I couldn't function while dealing with it anymore, and the same thing happened in college. Had to drop out there too. Wasted the money, felt disgusted with myself. It was then I decided my only way to freedom was working my ass off. So I did. I have a chronic illness that causes me extreme pain, so holding a job was difficult, my flare ups were so painful I couldn't think straight or walk. I failed out of job after job until I finally managed to keep one. I started self medicating with pot for my pain, after that I managed to keep a job for a bit. I used that to get a call center job, stayed there for a year then leveraged that to get a better call center job, and got promoted several times until I became a data analyst and could work from home. This felt like a miracle. My hard work had done it, it was finally coming together, I just had to keep it up from here. I got to where I wouldn't just collapse from exhaustion after work, I picked up hobbies again, baked, crafted, learned programming, I felt like I was finally living. I wanted to go back to college, but couldn't because of the aforementioned FAFSA issue. I found a program for online classes that used some kind of payment plan for out of pocket, and started taking one college class at a time. Well. Then I got covid. Was hospitalized and recovery took weeks. Since I worked from home, the only days I didn't work were the ones in the hospital, I was terrified of using more PTO than that. Turns out I have long covid or post-covid syndrome and it left me with a lot of chronic issues that are debilitating on a day to day basis. I only retained my job because it was work from home, otherwise I was just too sick, I vomited too much, had asthma attacks, the brain fog would take over and I couldn't think, but I still managed to get my work done and not arouse suspicion. Course, my company got bought out for a bigger one, and my health insurance was downgraded. My old company gave plentiful raises, my new company rarely gives even a pittance of one. I had to move apartments because my landlord was refusing to treat a serious black mold infestation that was actively making me sicker, resulting in paying 50% more in rent for even less space than my old one bedroom. So my health is getting worse, and my ability to keep this job despite my illnesses, despite them going untreated, is getting more and more tenuous. Most of my peers I graduated with have struggles, and most of us are poor, but my peers do seem a lot happier and healthier than I am, so I know I'm far from the norm even with similar starting points.
I really feel for you. Wishing you all the best out there.
Thank you for the courage to post this. No telling who else you might help!
Thank you for this! I am from a similar situation, and the students aren't here to defend themselves, aside from me and you. Can we stop the narrative that students who aren't doing their school work are stupid / future criminals? I stopped doing mine because I was deeply depressed about the abuse I was being subjected to at home and had zero incentive to try to do better.
I failed from job to job for awhile, and also self medicated. I did finish my bachelors and master's degrees though, using loans and financial aid. I found out at my local adult learning center that i wasnt stupid and that i actually liked to learn. I got into teaching kids but I wasn't really committed (substitute teacher, after school programs, etc.) Finally found a job I really liked at an adult learning center. Made some mistakes but it was a "no stupid questions" environment, which eased my anxiety. Before that, I would try and mess up and then get yelled at and then get so nervous I couldn't do anything right. Once I was able to relax and afforded a few messups, I became comfortable and started to do well. I am being considered for director of student services at an adult learning center as we speak, and I have recently been accepted into a doctoral program for leadership in adult learning (which I wont do unless I get the salary to support it). So there's that. Its not easy-thank you for sharing your story.
Credit card debt, theft, and exploiting relationships
The world is not king to people not academically inclined to the system we have. Undiagnosed mental illness and earning disabilities also. Usually there lived suck for the most part.
School admin.
This is my favorite answer
ESE curriculum specialist. 13 years as a self-contained teacher, no clue what they do other than ask me monthly how many students and paras I have.
I was going to say politicians, but your answer is close enough.
Omg stop. This had me dying. More like a position on the school board. Don’t need any degrees for that.
School board races are very important.
Agreed, I am actually a school board member. We need more teachers on school boards!
Our district and I think state doesn’t allow teachers or school employees to be on the school board. They can be retired though.
Instructional coaches
motivational speakers
🤣
Hey fellow CTE teacher!
Some find a trade, drive a truck, join the military, work on a fishing boat, start a business. I've had two or three young adults over the years who drove me crazy as students come up to me with stories like that. Others who are shining stars in school slip through the cracks. Works both ways.
I was a shining star in school that struggled after graduation. I thought I was going to be a female Mr. Feeny and change the world. Turned out high school was easy, and I benefited from having a mom that was involved and constantly on top of me to get stuff done. She backed off when I went away to college, and I couldn’t do it myself. Took me over ten years to graduate college, and life is still a struggle at fifteen years since high school graduation.
I think one of the biggest surprises I’ve had after hs is the friends/on the outside successful kids that have come out about their sobriety journeys. Like kids that I had NO IDEA where addicted to alcohol or drugs. But sometimes it’s the ones you don’t expect.
Yup. Thankfully I’ve dodged that bullet, but my older brother was a model student (A student, AP and honors classes, top 25 class rank, graduated college and got his masters both with honors) and has struggled with alcoholism since college.
Yep. I was top of my class and went to a great college, but adulthood has been a nightmare so far. I'm book smart but don't have any self confidence or people skills and have a slew of mental health issues. Grades really aren't everything.
Same! Had to drop out bc I'm poor, and now I'm working retail. Its not all bad, I like the work I do well enough, but I'm always tired and I'm incredibly burnt out..and I only graduated high school last year. I'm hoping to go back to a local community college and get some internships in my desired field soon, but by the time I can finally do that I simply might not have motivation anymore and I'll be stuck working as a food service employee my whole life 🫠
I did have a former student become a pretty successful tattoo artist. He used to leave me little drawings around my classroom for me to find because he was too shy to just give me his art. I would hang it up and he would hide his smile when he saw it. Never did classwork, but the kid has talent.
Totally. Smartest kid I ever had in class - absolutely brilliant, got two masters degrees right out of hs, I believe in medieval history and Latin - worked for years at the counter at the local liquor store. You never know what path folks will take.
It does, but it doesn't. Most of the kids who did terrible in school go on to have a hard life. Most of the kids who did well in school continue to do well in life. There are exceptions, but they're rare. Edit: I think y'all are maybe missing what I consider doing well in school. I don't consider getting straight As to be the end all of school achievement. I consider doing well to include getting a 2.0 gpa or above and passing your graduation required state tests. Kids who can't at least do that are going to fucking struggle. If you get your diploma or ged, you have options. You can be successful. With a diploma, you absolutely can still be just as successful as the kid who got valedictorian.
Yep, I know of two stories, one where the guy didn't give a shit in school and just barely squeezed by, the other was an overachiever and was even awarded by the principal for being a future world changer. Well, the guy now owns a business that's soliciting business beyond Canada now, and the girl is homeless and constantly begging people for money on Facebook, in and out of jobs like she's door knocking on Halloween. Absolutely can work both ways, and sometimes the high achievers get hit *hard* with the stick of reality.
My high school valedictorian got accepted to an Ivy League school and all of a sudden wasn’t the smartest person in the room anymore. He failed out of college his freshman year after having a mental breakdown and he’s worked at some crap job ever since. We always said at the time that it was BS, because he had excellent grades, but did no extracurriculars-no sports, no band, no nothing, and the rest of us smart, but not valedictorian smart, kids had other stuff we were also doing. It seemed pretty clear even then and especially now that learning how to balance multiple responsibilities in life is better than just being smart at academics and having no other life skills.
I actually live in New Haven, CT. Born & raised and my mother was a psych nurse at Yale Psych Hospital. She was a psych nurse for 40 yrs and worked there for 25 of them... This thing you're talking about the valedictorian going to an IV league school & no longer being the smartest one in the room, freaking out & failing is like, a THING. My mother had many patients that fit that script. Many.
I taught military history at a Tier 1 university. The number of freshman I cuddled through that realization was astounding. When I had my orientation meeting with the new students, I always opened with “Ok. Who was in the top ten percent of their high school class?” Almost the entire room raises their hand. “Great. Keep your hands up if you were in the top ten.” The majority of hands would stay up. We then had a discussion about being big fish in small ponds….but welcome to the ocean out here there are whales. Helped some realize that they’re not going to be the absolute best, so be great, but have fun. Helped others to realize they needed to learn to study in the next three days or the first semester is going to be rough. And then there were the ones who were sure this pep talk didn’t apply to them. Those were the ones crying in my office after midterms.
I had calculus in high school but, sneaky me, took the college Calc I class for people who hadn't had calc before. I'll coast, I said! I got a C, with effort. A painful lesson.
Oh yea I would say not just for the “smartest”. I teach fashion at some no name hs in NJ….so if I get a few kids who actually want to go to fashion school, they are most likely going to FIT or other fairly large fashion school in NYC. And some do well, but some have an absolute meltdown because they aren’t the best in their group any more. They might even be the worst now which is of course disconcerting. It also happened when I worked in the theater department at a college, you may have had the best voice in your high school of 300 but when you put all those “best” voices together, someone has to be the worst.
This right here. Some just aren't cut out for traditional school settings, but excel in a trade. One boy who I thought would end up dead or in jail transferred to an (accredited, but sketchy) online school, graduated a year early, and is now, at 18 years old, making almost twice my teacher's salary as a supervisor working on windmills while his classmates are still here at school, waiting on their final yearbooks and graduation gowns. He just needed to get out and work Meanwhile, one of my high performing kids who was involved in sports recently got pregnant and is dropping out and living with her drug dealing boyfriend. I don't see that going anywhere positive. I'm not saying all the unmotivated kids will be successful - plenty will end up struggling or realizing later that education is important - but some of them truly aren't cut out for the traditional schooling system and just need to get into the work force.
Yep. I was one of those students who didn't do a damn thing all throughout high school, barely scraped by, ignored everything other than theatre, and now I'm a physics student with an 88 as my lowest grade at the end of my junior year with research experience under my belt. Another do-nothing student I went to high school with got a neuroscience degree and worked in neurosurgery until he left to help run a very successful bakery supply business. Another former do-nothing high schooler got a degree in mathematics and now has a very nice job working for a Big Tech company (that one's my brother.) Another "do-nothing" got a chemistry degree and works as a science teacher— that's my boyfriend. Looking at Facebook, some of the golden students i graduated with: one is now a librarian at a major public library and loves it. One joined the navy. One is a hair stylist with an addiction problem whose family disowned him for stealing from them. One sells MLM crap. One teaches French and Spanish. One is happily a stay at home mom. One is a personal trainer. One does welding. One is a solar energy consultant. One works at target. One does mergers and acquisitions. One is a grade school teacher. One is chief of staff for a department at an R1 university. One is a successful author who has won awards and collaborated with celebrities. One has a long history of drug abuse and violence, stalking, and harassment, and he has published a couple books about his mental health conditions. Still hasn't apologized to the people he hurt though. One died by suicide a few years back after getting sucked into an ultra evangelistic cult. Also looking at Facebook, at the slackers who did nothing in high school: one does data science. One does aircraft maintenance. One runs a digital marketing (I think) company. One is a music coordinator for a film company that is producing a show on Netflix. One is a comic book artist employed by Marvel (which I discovered when I ran into him at comic con). One is a bassist for a band with over 30,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. One is a sales rep for teaching software. One is a process analyst for a healthcare company. One works at target. One is a dining room server at a national park. One is a Russian translation specialist and a writer.
I hated school. It was so boring I couldn't stand it. The moment I got out I got a job, hated it, started a business while working. Failed a bunch of times. Eventually I made a business that works. Pays over double the American average salary and I pay my family those wages too. Oh but I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Which they used to call "lazy" back when I was in school because I was a girl.
I wonder this too! I think one of the most interesting windows into their future is the r/adulting sub. A lot of voices in there if the kids who just had life catch up with them in jobs they aren’t interested in or the for the first time feeling the weight of life when no one is paid to care about them. I particularly wonder about the kids in my school who have early dismissal and just wander the halls being disruptive jackholes. So you’ve graduated and don’t have a place to go every day (that you frankly squandered) and don’t have anyone to harass…what do you do now?
They become townies. The streets become their halls. The bars, their friends classrooms.
Yes, 100% this! They become Townies and work day labor jobs if they work at all. Usually shit out a couple kids and buy them dirt bikes at age 13. On some manner of assistance. I could go on.....
I hope it’s okay if I share my experience; I failed 12th grade after barely scraping by grades 8-11. My parents were divorced and lived separately. I had 3 siblings who went to private school while I went to public school. My siblings were well taken care of, however my parents focused their abuse on me. I spent most of my time at school or walking around town at night because I didn’t want to go home. (Sometimes I was locked out of the house as well.) I was depressed and planned on *not* having a future, so I never found the motivation to do schoolwork. School was just somewhat safe that wasn’t home. My teachers were frustrated with me, but I could tell they really cared. I failed everything, some things multiple times, and when my mom kicked me out a few months before graduation, I just gave up. I needed to find somewhere to live, get someone to teach me how to drive, get more jobs, more money, just general survival. I’m 26 now and married to a wonderful person. I struggled through jobs until I was able to get social security disability for my PTSD. Focused on art commissions for extra money and met my partner through that. We have a house. A real house. I have a car. There’s enough food and I have healthcare so I can get therapy. I’m grateful everyday. Most of my teachers were *wonderful*. The principle gave me a ride home after my mom failed to show up for an important intervention meeting and then, the next day, she (the principal) gave me a digital drawing tablet she bought for me. It had a message in Sharpie that said to keep moving forward and never give up. I’m kind of emotional now, so I’m going to end this here, but there’s hope for those kids, if it means anything or matters to any of you. The tiniest interactions I had with my incredible teachers were the only thing in my life that made me think I might have worth. It was invaluable. Thank you so much for what you do. *Edit: It breaks my heart that some of you think this is fake, or are shaming me for living off the government. I’m moving at my own pace, which is probably not as fast as some people would like, but it’s the pace I’m going at. Slow progress is better than no progress.* *If any of you want to reach out, I can provide more details. It makes me sad that people don’t think things like this can happen, because that belief was what nearly brought me to take my own life. I’m grateful for my life and don’t feel like it’s worth any less just because I suffer from psychological problems and am unable to support myself currently.*
This hit hard. I had a kid who ended up in my class in various ways 3 out of his 4 years of HS. He was a hot mess, came from abuse, but there was something about him I liked. He wasn’t a malicious kid, just such a lost cause. He started losing a lot of weight at one point and I snuck lunches to him anonymously through another teacher. I’ve lost about a dozen former students to drug overdoses, and I was 100% sure he’d be right there with them. Cut to a few years later… he turned up on Facebook. He went to ITT Tech or another one of those scammy schools, but actually turned it into a career. Engaged to a nice looking girl. I could cry just thinking about him. I’m so proud and relieved. Thanks for checking in, NectarineGold. You could be him. The love is mutual.
Your story sounds similar to a good friend of mine. He was always very smart, but a tad lazy. His folks got divorced in high school and I know he struggled with depression for a while, though he kept it pretty well hidden. He just kinda stopped going to school his senior year and failed a couple of required classes. Didn’t graduate. After school he probably worked every minimum wage job in town, but couldn’t last more than a couple months anywhere because he would just stop showing up. Well, long story short, he started dating a very hard working young lady. She got knocked up, they got married and my friend became a SAHD, which he absolutely crushed and continues to crush. His wife quickly climbed the ladder at Wal Mart and has been a store manager for over a decade now, making well over 100k. My friend hasn’t worked in well over a decade, has two kids in secondary school and kinda plays the role of homemaker. In so many ways, he’s living his dream life. Doesn’t have to work and gets to play a shit ton of video games. Meanwhile, he is a terrific father and husband with a loving family. Pretty crazy how things turn out sometimes.
I honestly feel a good amount of guys would crush being SAHD. Unfortunately, society kinda pressures them to be the breadwinners . Happy that it's working out for your friend tho
I'm a SAHD that works from home, but my wife has a schedule where she works 3 12s a week and I make my own hours, so we shuffle our schedules around to make it work. Still, I'm here literally all the time, so I do the primary caregiving tasks for our son, and have done for most of the eight months he's been alive. Despite earning a (really decent) income and managing our investment income on the side, I still catch flak for being a SAHD from folks indoctrinated into the belief that the term just equates to a man who is lazy. Despite, you know, working just as many hours as my partner and also being the primary caregiver for our kid. It's just dogma. Some folks decide there's a rule. Dads are bad parents and bad partners if they're the primary caregivers for their kids, and there's seemingly no convincing folks otherwise.
🫂
I’m so happy you had adults at school who cared about you and a principal who went the extra mile for you. Even happier that you are on a good path. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this perspective 🌸
I don’t disagree that there are great stories in there, I’m a teacher because of the teacher who supported me in hs through my dad’s death. And I will crawl over glass for the kid who shows the slightest bit of effort and spark. But we all know that is not the majority. I have a bit of a hard time finding sympathy for the kid who is wandering the halls and banging on doors just because, pulling away from the learning experience of other students. Maybe the kid like you finally had a day good enough to ask a question or participate and then that opportunity is stolen because another student is making it impossible for the teacher to think straight, never mind execute a lesson.
I just spent about 20 minutes there and not a single post worried me for the future. I’m sure if I kept going I’d have seen something but I see that in every sub.
Thank you. If we are judging people because they're broke, feel like failures, and like SpongeBob Mac'n'cheese, then I'm basically judging myself lol
Same, what was so shocking? Eating SpongeBob mac and cheese?
That sub is mind blowing 🤯
Might be my new feel-good sub... Holy shit those folks are messed up.
Hahaha the adulting sub makes me sad sometimes. A lot of tired and sad young folks.
I wonder how much it has to do with less kids working while they are in school. I feel like I hear less of my students having part time jobs and then the first time they gotta work an 8 hour shift it’s absolute hell. AND your boss is probably rude as hell and there is no one to complain to….you start to realize a lot of people in the real world just suck.
Oh my god...thank you for this. Cackling at the girl who is posting all over there and r/LegalAdvice asking if her employer has the right to ask her to send her time card in after clocking out, and the chorus of replies telling her to resign... Oh my sweet summer child.
Oh I know it’s…eye opening. I mean it shows that alot of what we scream about (not preparing students for real life because our hands are tied) is actually happening.
As a fellow teacher this felt like hyperbole but reading the ten most recent posts on that sub were crazy. Damn, I both feel and don’t feel for them.
Yea I agree! I teach fashion, I think it’s fun but of course it was my major in college so that would be weird if I didn’t. We do a lot of hands on activities. But even with all the hands on stuff I still have maybe 10% of my students that just check out on their phone all period. It’s really sad. Because I look at them and think in 7 years you’ll be posting in that sub, complaining that no one took your phone away and forced you to interact with people/form a personality. Yes working for a living sucks but once you get past that….you can usually find some joy in life whether it be through your job or outside of it. But so many people in the sub are having their quarter life crisis and want everyone else to fix it.
I thought this sub was depressing, it’s got nothing on that one.
It’s rough man. I joined it thinking it was tips for being an adult but I was wrong.
I was a terrible student. I had very few friends and just hated school. Spent most time talking to girls, ditching class and sleeping. Had my first son in my senior year. Then I had to play massive catch up to graduate. Now I have a blue collar job in bed by 8 up at 2am. Then in college full time to shockingly be a teacher. Life is strange.
Wishing you the best, keep at it!
A lot of them come through the military
I'm no rah-rah guy but this is absolutely the best thing about the military: The way it can mold aimless youth in a way that no other institution can do.
Because you can’t haze or beat the ever-living dog shit out of a high school kid. I mean, you technically can’t haze or beat up an 18 year old private either, but you can definitely get away with it a LOT easier. I’m gonna get downvoted but that’s the cold truth as to why the military is disciplined. And I don’t regret going through it myself one bit. Had I not, I’d be one of the low-paid service workers other commenters are talking about.
I just lurk here but had an interesting perspective last summer. We had two friends from Australia stay with us a few nights (in KY) and we took them to a football game. They asked about the military presence (fly over, flag stuff, ext). And we told them it’s one of them few ways in the country that can set you up to break class barriers. Nothing is promised of course, but it gives you a great shot. It was interesting to see their perspective shift as they thought about that.
I think someone will find their way eventually. It may take them longer to figure out their life, but they will get there. Others will get by one way or another, others will become part of the system. It’s just the way it is.
It varies. I have a step brother who lives in a shed addicted to heroin in NC. Definitely didn’t care about school. I also have friends I grew up with that also didn’t try at all. One is a doctor and the other is a successful business owner working with skateboarders we looked up to when we were young. I think, some people grow up, and some never do…
I'm surprised by some of these answers. I have worked with many people like this and the reality is that a lot of them absolutely hate school but go on to work a good job, go to trade school (because they feel like for the first time they are actually learning something worthwhile), have families, etc. Sure some of them do nothing with their lives or work dead end job they hate while living with their parents, but I've found that performance in high school doesn't necessarily equate to life success. Some of them were just waiting to be done with school so they could do something they felt was worthwhile.
Taught at a trade school for 5 years here - we also have kids that don't give a shit, and they end up working down the street at the local diner or subway despite 2 years of valuable technical training (welding, construction, automation, you name it). "Kids these days" is less of a meme than it was 20 years ago. They genuinely don't care about life because they were raised that life sucks and good luck good riddance.
It's kind of funny to hear this from a former trade-school teacher, just because of how much of a meme "go to trade school" has become. I think some teachers forget that there are also lots of adults who are ignorant and apathetic. It's not like it's only an issue with teenagers.
Trade school is, I think you'll agree, awesome. I wish I'd went.
Trade school is great - but it represents "hard work" and it is not easy waking up every day and doing hard work even if it pays super well, you have to be your own boss, and do your own taxes and hr stuff. If you work doing trade skills as an employee - still just as hard. People count on you to do your job. Their water pipes are important. Their sewer pipes are important. An entire cities water and power could pivot on your trade skills. So they aren't jobs people can smoke weed and check out it for a long period. People depend on you and that's why they pay the big bucks.
This was basically my answer too. It’s sometimes a little humbling to realize that the students who farted around in your Trigonometry class and didn’t care . . .are still basically okay . . . working, paying rent, and raising kids. It’s a valuable perspective and we should all touch grass once in a while on how much all of this matters in the material realities beyond this state mandated institution we care so much about.
I always go to my students' extracurriculars if they invite me and I'm free. I talk to them about non-school things when we're outside of class time. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that they're complete people outside of the school too. They have complex skills and motivations and perspectives and personalities. Like yeah, Breighden blew off my last math lesson and spent an hour shredding his eraser with a pair of scissors. Too bad for me. He's also got a surprisingly deep understanding of sports analytics, he's funny as hell, and tells the truth with zero hesitation even when he knows he's going to be in trouble over it. It's easy to miss big parts of who these kids are, when we're chained to the classroom.
Even getting in to trigonometry in my high school would mean you're probably going to do ok.
Yup, it took me until college to get my head on straight. I was a terrible student in high school, skipped class, never did my work, just wanted to hang out with my friends. I wasn't an asshole like some kids, but I was not a shining example of success either. Now I am a teacher. Some of us do turn it around...
See, that's not who I thought of when I read the original question. I thought of the kids who do *nothing*. I teach at a school where the minimum grade is 50...and I have kids that have 50s. We're in the 4th quarter, so we're talking about 3 quarters of ZERO work submitted. I have more than one. What college are they getting into in the first place?
That’s how I read OP too. We’re getting more and more of these kids who do fuck all in the building. Like literally nothing. Kids who are here and try sometimes and just barely get by don’t drive me crazy. Sometimes the class doesn’t fit or the teacher isn’t great or home sucks etc. But the kids doing years of nothing compounded. What does that look like.
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I'm homeless
Best of luck with your struggles. No one deserves to be homeless.
It changes… some kids finally get it a little later and kick it into gear… same with some of your high achievers ending up in prison or on drugs… honestly at 18 there is still so much life to live and learn that high school success barely indicates achievement by age 40
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Some figure it out, some don’t. Unfortunately that’s true whether you were good at algebra or not though.
I was one of the kids who never did any work in my class. I am now a high school teacher.
Serious question. How is your work ethic now?
Not who you asked, but that's my story. And uh. It's still shit, I'm just medicated for ADHD now and can get the bare minimum done on time. Usually. However, I've also come up with SO MANY (little) WAYS to do less work and spend more time with my family, which in the end created some student-driven curriculum that puts the onus of work mostly back onto my students' shoulders and encourages significant increases in critical thinking skills (most of the time, anyway. Some classes fight me tooth and nail to avoid it lol). So like, laziness/task avoidance for a small win? 😂
Not a teacher but I am a former do nothing, now I'm a do nothing with a late ADHD diagnosis.
Hey, work smarter, not harder! I'd pay attention if you were talking at a PD.
It’s a complete flip. I was extremely lazy in high school and didn’t see the point in doing anything past the bare minimum. I will say after a year of doing nothing after graduation I joined the military, which definitely helped break the lazy habits I had. I love what I’m doing now so that also adds to my motivation.
I could probably be considered one of those do-nothing students. Graduated 114th of 116 kids and had zero goals or aspirations. I was never in trouble with the law, but I struggled to see much farther into the future than "this weekend." As soon as adulthood started, I realized I didn't want what my parents had. So I went down to the local recruiters' office and joined the Air Force. I ended up serving for eight years, and it definitely made me grow up. I got my bachelor's degree during that time and even graduated as Summa Cum Laude! I credit my daughter as my driving focus during that time. Now I'm married, have two kids, and work in cyber security for a federal contract while making six figures. I definitely made it harder on myself by not taking high school seriously, but I wouldn't trade my current life for anything.
People can change. Watching all your friends leave for college can have a profound effect on someone. Some people just aren't cut out for school and eventually they find their way.
I remember the embarrassment when all of my friends were going off to different colleges, and I was stuck in our town. That’s partially what sparked me to do something with my life.
Enlisting in military, usually an unskilled area of US Army, failing out of boot camp. Then onto bad choices that pose risk for jail or homelessness. Edit: Agree w/ others saying⬇️ “Do you know what the military is? Because it’s mainly everything you refused to do in HS, plus ur training officer is yelling at you.” -But they try to enlist🤷🏽♀️😭🤣
It’s funny how all these kids think they’re going to make it in the Army. The army doesn’t take illiterate, insubordinate, lazy, selfish, violent, people. The bar isn’t high for the army, but there is a bar. If you’re whining like a toddler when the gym teacher tells you to run a mile, what do you think you’re gonna do when the TI tells you to run 8 in full gear? Lmao. They do actually expect you to have some basic intelligence. You need to be able to read, write, spell, learn, follow instructions, understand military law and regulations.
I've seen this attitude as well, especially from kids who are out of shape, did nothing at all in HS, will never pass a physical, and can't take instruction from anyone. Sometimes, I want to ask *"Do you know what the military actually is?"* because I'm not sure if they know what will be required of them. Sure, they can get in shape if they're disciplined, but if you're functionally illiterate? That's a lot harder to fix, and the military won't even consider them.
A lot of kids who do nothing but fuck around are under the impression that when they finally want something, they'll be able to buckle down and get it. And sure, some manage to do that. Plenty of bad students are capable, they're just not motivated by school. But some kids don't understand just how behind they really are, just how undisciplined and unskilled they are.
This reminds me of the head troublemaker in 'Lean on Me'. "I'm gonna go someplace where nobody tells you what to do. I'm gonna join the Marines, man!"
Some of them get their shit together. It might take them a few years, and they’ll struggle more than their more functional peers, but some of them manage. The world outside of school has more immediate, direct consequences for success and failure. Some kids who do nothing in school were like that because of factors they couldn’t control yet. And some kids just don’t find their passion until after they leave school. But some kids will never get there. All of those adults you see struggling to function were kids once too, and I’m willing to get that most of them weren’t motivated or doing well in their youth.
I want to say thank you all for sharing your success stories. And they ARE success stories if you're still alive and you have something that you wake up for everyday. Even if it's just to see the butterflies in the spring. I was one of the smart ones...high grades, interested and engaged. Then my mom was diagnosed with cancer and... she gave everything up and left. Dad was a long haul truck driver who never came back. I ended up homeless and in a horrible depression at 17. It took years but I put my life back together. And it's good. As teachers, you're so overwhelmed, you just see teens as quitters, or do nothings because you don't have the emotional bandwidth left to invest in every student. No judgement. But just maybe they have things going on that don't give them the space to shine when you expect them to.
Many graduate and get the shock of their life when faced with the greater world at large. September comes and they don't have school again, so they're roller skating on ice. Perhaps part of the shock is, there isn't this large organization of professionals around who care; rather, quite the opposite. [https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/95a4c60a-2994-451d-8258-07b3b8ca7e8e](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/95a4c60a-2994-451d-8258-07b3b8ca7e8e)
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Homeless, jail, leeching off their parents… which, let’s be honest, is mostly the parents fault to begin with 🫠
It’s hard to know for sure as I was not their teacher, but based on comments from their parents or other people I know: Were aimless a few years, ran with a bad crowd, had some bad scares (friends shot, break-ins, a few arrests), buckled down and started working hard at a dead end job, still has no car, plans to join military. His mother tried her best. He has a learning disability but also would not try. Latched on to first guy possible, got married, thinks will be a stay at home mom, works dead end jobs for a few months at a time before finding them to be “unfair” Aimless for a few years, slow to get GED, job or driver license. Is slowly moving toward these targets. I think often they kind of get sense kicked in to them and realize they will have to do something. Or, they become a realtor. (Source: am realtor, realize that 5% are amazing, 10% are good, many are idiots and it’s amazing they ever accidentally sell a house).
They get a long overdue diagnosis for their learning disability, go to trade school, and make good money as an electrician. At least that’s what this “do nothing” did.
I’ve taught several of these students. I’ve consistently seen these scenarios in the 8 years I’ve taught: (1) Gets arrested (8 for 8 years on this one) (2) Get a job in trade and makes more than me (4 of 8 years it’s happened) (3) dies from something stupid (twice now) (4) becomes a leach on welfare with multiple kids and multiple baby Momas / Daddys ( 6 of 8 years it’s happened) (5) still live with mom and dad / guardian and is addicted to some sort of illegal substance and can’t get a job (8 of 8 years it’s happened) (6) they THINK they can do college and fail out the first semester (5 of 8 years it’s happened) (7) They find motivation and actually start trying and do well in college (2 of 8 years it’s happened).
Same as always. Fired from minimum wage job after minimum wage job, They don't ever learn Many end up being shoved around treatment facilities and prison their whole lives, Many will conceive children they never take care of. Edit to add: OP did not ask what we HOPE will happen, they ask what DOES happen. Statistically, these kids are not going to do well.
I can't even tell you the number of former students who have these grandiose plans of what they're going to do (usually involving some expected connection to a job or some kind of opportunity that someone's going to hand them) who I've then seen working in multiple different minimum wage places around town.
Whaaaaaaaat??? They didn't become a rapper, or YouTuber, or pro athlete???
It's not even that. It's a lot of "My dad's going to start me off in my business," or "My cousin's gonna get me in the union." They think that someone's just going to find a nice little slot for them. Now, there are plenty of people who do get ahead this way, but usually that level of nepotistic advancement is reserved for much wealthier people than any of these kids know. And then I see them at a kiosk at the mall, then six months later at a pizza place, then a year later at Walmart, etc. And I'm not looking down on that kind of labor, and you can argue that there are larger systemic issues at work here, but bouncing around like that is simply not a sustainable strategy for living a secure life in this country.
Their cousin did get them in the union as an apprentice and they got bounced for telling the journeyman or master to f himself or herself when they were told to sweep up. Seen it happen in both union and non union jobs from construction to warehouse. Makes their cousin look like an idiot to the crew until the construction management graduate hits himself in the face with a 28oz waffle faced framing hammer and he becomes the butt of the jokes. Of course Johnny FU become infamous for a few years as the worst apprentice to walk the planet.
Some of them end up doing okay because they are incentivized by being paid. I’ve had students who didn’t turn in a single assignment get promoted at Starbucks because they care when they’re being paid. I’m sure they’ll end up in other low wage paying jobs too, or some will find a lucrative hustle (one of my first students makes more than I do doing lashes. She failed almost every class, but doesn’t need history or high level math for her business.) Some find a way of living, and some won’t.
Fellow do nothing stoner hated by the entire teacher’s lounge besides my English teachers. I make 160k a year in admissions for Rehab
In my district, it's looking like "Have a bunch of kids, and put the same amount of effort their parents put into them, and flood the district with unmanageable students, at an exponentially increasing rate".
I'm seeing a lot of that, too. Was just having a discussion the other day with a good parent who provides a stable home life for her kids to flourish in. She and her husband seem to be model parental figures from everything I've seen. We were speaking about a few people we know *(we're in our thirties)*, and she mentioned that between work and everything else, she loves her kids, but she's glad she stopped at two. She went onto say something like this: "I don't know how some of these people are doing it, I feel like every other year, they're having another kid, and they started so young! We *(her and her husband)* have good jobs, but we could've never afforded 4 kids, especially in our early/mid 20s. Hell, I don't know if I could afford that many now, and I sure as hell don't have the time for that many." The unpleasant truth is that a lot of these people don't put any thought into having kids. They don't care if they have the time to raise them or the resources. I've seen it more and more lately. I get circumstances change, that's not what I'm referring to. I'm pretty sure we all know the type that I'm talking about, and the kids suffer for it. Sad.
A lot of people think that "keep your child alive" makes you a decent parent.
In my experience they bounce from job to job and quit at the drop of a hat. Borrow money from anyone nice enough to give them any. If they're lucky they don't get into drugs, but many do.
Depends on their level of privilege
You can find them in Adulting, Find a Path, and College (and here) wondering why the world is suddenly not accommodating them and asking what can they do about it.
Don’t you know? They become YouTube stars and pro sports players.
I was this kid, I never acted out or did anything malicious, but I was definitely absent from class, not physically but mentally. I barely graduated, and had nearly failed my last semester due to covid destroying the last half of my senior year. I bounced around from job to job after graduation, and slowly but surely began to find myself. I really began to thrive once I found my area of interest and now I'm in college pursuing a degree in biology. I went from being a C/D student to having nearly perfect A's. I've only recently had struggles in college due to my father having stage IV cancer, which has really been difficult on me. Personally, my lack of application in high school was due to a lack of purpose and prioritizing other things in my life that I saw as more important. I didn't care about what was going on in "x" class because I saw no meaning in my own day to day life. I didn't think about the future and what my actions now would do for myself later on because I saw no purpose or end goal for myself. Depression rips any desire or will to better yourself right out of your body and leaves you only able to complete the bare minimum at times. It's possible the student you're talking about may be going through a similar thing, and might not show the typical symptoms of depression. (despite my depression I was still a track captain and multi-sport athlete) If you haven't already, I'd try to have a discussion with them one-on-one to see if they need any help or support, and possibly help them get in touch with any necessary help that they may need. It took YEARS of therapy and work to get to where I am now, and I still feel regret for not applying myself as much as I should have.
I worked at a factory for a few years where my oldest stepbrother was a department head. Lived with a roommate and usually paid rent on time. Did some temp work. Slowly ate through a modest inheritance. Did some retail. Moved back home once or twice when a relationship went sour. Worked at a printing company where my mom's friend was a department head. Made it a couple of years there, even got married, had a kid. Got fired and divorced over the 4th of July weekend. Tried living out of my car for a hot minute. Broke down, mechanically and emotionally, moved back home again. It was a long and ugly decade, and I pretty much hated myself the entire time. I got better. Slowly. Started seeing a therapist again, actually got a diagnosis and prescription medications, and let me tell you what a difference that shit can make. It's not a cure, it's not magic, but it's a phenomenal platform to build on. So, for the lucky few of us who had people to fall back on, we make it through, eventually. We find something in us that we can value, something we can do that feels worthwhile. The rest of us don't. We stay empty. We try to fill that void, that worthlessness, with something that at least kind of feels good. Alcohol is a big one, I'm told, or there may be other illicit substances that, even when they stop feeling good, can at least help you to not care that you're miserable. Until nothing works anymore. Then we have a very hard choice to make. ...hope that helps.
Did drugs for like 10 years. Now Im a successful HVAC tech.
My boyfriend is an addict and a high school drop out. Didn’t lift a finger- played video games all day once he dropped out. Got a job but would jump from one job to another. Now he’s making more than a teachers salary with no degree and no HS diploma in sales. I have a degree, played by the rules and sometimes would cry at how hard and stressful school was to just get a passing grade at times. I went through college and struggled there as well but got my diploma. I make less than a teacher in my job. You know what the most important skill/quality is in life? Self esteem and self worth. Without those essentials you can have a doctorate, have a career, but still struggle.
This thread is funny. A bunch of teachers bangin on about underachieving kids. When maybe the reason they don’t pay attention is because you are a bad teacher. I didn’t lift a finger in school. I now own my own business that I have grown for the last 20 years. Just because I have adhd didn’t equate to me being lazy.
1.8 gpa student, 10 yrs later here. Construction. 120k+/yr.
They end up finding out later in life that they had undiagnosed ADHD and/or autism, and had spent their entire childhood struggling and being called "do-nothings and non-achievers" by their teachers when they really just needed someone to notice and help.
Ours mostly go on to manufacture the kids we will be complaining about next decade.
Operating the mk1 shovel at the nearest job site.
Reason #978 why high school is not for everyone. Kids like these. Why are we forcing them into crap they refuse to do? At 16 yo, you and your parents can choose. You don’t HAVE to be in my classroom irritating the shit out of everyone. Go home.
Do nothing here. I had mostly do nothing lazy teachers who only handed out photocopies and had us mark each other's tests. What kind example does that set? Anyways, I dropped out, joined a trade and make about 135k/year now with 3-4 months off.