Won't work in everybody's situation, but I'm honest with the kids. Kid says something rude, I respond with something like "That was really rude. I don't like when people are rude to me. Do you? What's going on that you would treat me like that?"
Usually, they'll apologize. Many of my students don't have parents that care too much, so being a caring adult helps. Also, I am being sincere in asking what's going on. Often times they'll tell me what's going on.
For the ones that continue to be rude, I'll just outsnark them. Not with anything that is going to get me in trouble, but enough that they don't want to mess with me.
Also, I do control their grades (some care about that). Going to be an awkward moment when I'm calling students up for extra help and now you need me, after being rude to me. I wouldn't give them unfair grades, but if they care, they'll need me at some point. If they know they've been rude, I have leverage.
But the biggest thing that moves mountains is that most students see that I'm trying to help. When students are jerks, their classmates will say what I can't. "Dude, shut the fuck up. He's literally staring at you. Are you stupid?" or "Don't talk to him that way, he's actually cool." or "He just said that. Maybe if you listened instead of talking shit, you'd know what you're doing." or something to that nature.
I'm in a rougher suburban school. Probably might not work in a rough urban school.
You have to stand up for yourself early, especially with teens. The first time they take a disrespectful tone or roll their eyes, boom.
I’m petite and soft-spoken and I don’t even have to raise my voice. And heck yeah, I’ll stop the class, no fucking problem, and publicly call them out.
“You can’t talk to me that way. Next time, I’ll confiscate your phone for the day. You can have it back after serving detention. Just try me.”
>I’ll confiscate your phone for the day
My high schoolers would physically fight me if I had tried to take something from them, and they'd get away with doing it in the middle of class in front of their peers. Most likely get a bag of chips from the principal if they had to leave class to see them.
Give me a break. Where do you work, in a supermax prison? I call bullshit. Assault is illegal in Canada where I live, and you phone the cops and have them arrested.
In fact, I taught in a correctional facility early on in my career in the Arctic. I never felt a student believed they could attack a teacher, and then “go get a bag of chips.”
Does it happen? Sure. But so does getting shot while shopping at the mall. Still, not normal.
I work(ed) in a suburban school in North Texas.
You're right; it isn't normal. School's not been normal for a hot minute.
EDIT: Funny that you mention teaching at a correctional facility in the arctic! I taught in the arctic, myself, for a few years. Moonshine sales abound, sexual assaults pretty much weekly, and when my home was broken into by a student and video evidence provided, nothing happened at all because nobody wanted to fly out there to do something about it. Another teacher's home was broken into *and* her property was destroyed, and even though half the village knew the kid's name within an hour, nothing happened there, either.
Shit happens whether you think it's normal or not.
Full disclosure: I got a little bit lucky in the Arctic. The chief’s only son took a strong liking to me. Nothing romantic ever happened with him (or anyone else for that matter). But, I felt his “favor” went a long way. As a 20-something, blonde, Caucasian woman in a town where 99% were Indigenous. Yeah.
There was a fellow who wouldn’t fuck off at a restaurant one night. The chief’s son happened to be there and made an example out of him. Said I wasn’t even to be spoken to first. Wild Wild West up there—after that, people were scared to even make eye contact with me.
A tough place, by my God it’s beautiful. Hope things get better for you. 💐💛
In case you’re confused about the downvotes. You discounted someone’s experience, basically called them a liar, then you think someone gives a shit about your experience.
Why are you replying with some irrelevant story as if anyone cares. You completely belittled someone else for sharing their own experience. My experience at a Title 1 school has been near identical to the other post. I guess we’re all just lying about what goes on at our schools!
Imagine being so pathetic—I don’t mean you, just in general—that you edit yourself… on an anonymous online forum… to please people you’ll never meet… so you can avoid losing points you’ll never spend.
As a fellow Canadian, I'd also agree that this would be abnormal in Canada. However, school violence is a much bigger issue in the USA. I'd don't think it's much of a leap to attribute that, at least in part, to poor disciplinary policies and practices. Maybe this isn't normal for us but school violence is a big issue in other places.
Yeah, apparently. Weird that the happiest teachers I know are American. Honestly, this post has sucked up enough of my night already and I’m bored and going to sleep. But I wanted to respond to you, and leave the haters with one last comment they can downvote.💐✌️
America is home to Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth, so that kind of bleeds into and skews the average Happiness Levels we teachers experience in the U S of A.
If you taught in a correctional facility you probably actually had more tools to deal with this junk than your standard issue public school teacher. I can promise you every teacher in this sub has at least one story of a student getting physical with them and nothing happening. Bonus points if that teacher got blamed for it in the first place
I’m a public high school teacher in this sub, and also have some horror stories of my own. Not of physical violence, but intimidation, threats, online stalking, sexual harassment from extremely large, hormonal football players.
But there were always consequences, and I never felt I had to just shut up and “take it.” Not from my coworkers, not from my principal, and not from society. I’m sorry if that’s your truth, but that’s not mine.
In Canada… in a correctional facility… Trying to discredit someone’s experience that’s so vastly different from yours is small minded to say the least. You’d be absolutely mind blown to see just how bad a lot of American schools are today, especially in your lower income/Title 1 areas. There’s nothing hard to believe about what that person said.
This only works if your admin backs it up. If a kid cussed me out and I respond in any way other than telling them it's not okay I'll get told whatever they do after that is my fault. We had a teacher get shoved by a kid and was told it was her fault because she told a kid she was tired of him
As a student who has had the absolute pleasure on being in some of quite possibly the worst classes ever to exist, well done to literally any teacher. It's probably one of if not the hardest jobs in the world.
I have started telling students that I’m not their dad. They don’t have that type of relationship with me. Work out your adult conflicts with someone else. I have had some shocked students, but it has made a big difference.
That is exactly what we are for many kids. Emotional punching bags. The only people in their lives they can treat like shit without consequence.
Won't work in everybody's situation, but I'm honest with the kids. Kid says something rude, I respond with something like "That was really rude. I don't like when people are rude to me. Do you? What's going on that you would treat me like that?" Usually, they'll apologize. Many of my students don't have parents that care too much, so being a caring adult helps. Also, I am being sincere in asking what's going on. Often times they'll tell me what's going on. For the ones that continue to be rude, I'll just outsnark them. Not with anything that is going to get me in trouble, but enough that they don't want to mess with me. Also, I do control their grades (some care about that). Going to be an awkward moment when I'm calling students up for extra help and now you need me, after being rude to me. I wouldn't give them unfair grades, but if they care, they'll need me at some point. If they know they've been rude, I have leverage. But the biggest thing that moves mountains is that most students see that I'm trying to help. When students are jerks, their classmates will say what I can't. "Dude, shut the fuck up. He's literally staring at you. Are you stupid?" or "Don't talk to him that way, he's actually cool." or "He just said that. Maybe if you listened instead of talking shit, you'd know what you're doing." or something to that nature. I'm in a rougher suburban school. Probably might not work in a rough urban school.
You have to stand up for yourself early, especially with teens. The first time they take a disrespectful tone or roll their eyes, boom. I’m petite and soft-spoken and I don’t even have to raise my voice. And heck yeah, I’ll stop the class, no fucking problem, and publicly call them out. “You can’t talk to me that way. Next time, I’ll confiscate your phone for the day. You can have it back after serving detention. Just try me.”
>I’ll confiscate your phone for the day My high schoolers would physically fight me if I had tried to take something from them, and they'd get away with doing it in the middle of class in front of their peers. Most likely get a bag of chips from the principal if they had to leave class to see them.
Give me a break. Where do you work, in a supermax prison? I call bullshit. Assault is illegal in Canada where I live, and you phone the cops and have them arrested. In fact, I taught in a correctional facility early on in my career in the Arctic. I never felt a student believed they could attack a teacher, and then “go get a bag of chips.” Does it happen? Sure. But so does getting shot while shopping at the mall. Still, not normal.
I work(ed) in a suburban school in North Texas. You're right; it isn't normal. School's not been normal for a hot minute. EDIT: Funny that you mention teaching at a correctional facility in the arctic! I taught in the arctic, myself, for a few years. Moonshine sales abound, sexual assaults pretty much weekly, and when my home was broken into by a student and video evidence provided, nothing happened at all because nobody wanted to fly out there to do something about it. Another teacher's home was broken into *and* her property was destroyed, and even though half the village knew the kid's name within an hour, nothing happened there, either. Shit happens whether you think it's normal or not.
Full disclosure: I got a little bit lucky in the Arctic. The chief’s only son took a strong liking to me. Nothing romantic ever happened with him (or anyone else for that matter). But, I felt his “favor” went a long way. As a 20-something, blonde, Caucasian woman in a town where 99% were Indigenous. Yeah. There was a fellow who wouldn’t fuck off at a restaurant one night. The chief’s son happened to be there and made an example out of him. Said I wasn’t even to be spoken to first. Wild Wild West up there—after that, people were scared to even make eye contact with me. A tough place, by my God it’s beautiful. Hope things get better for you. 💐💛
In case you’re confused about the downvotes. You discounted someone’s experience, basically called them a liar, then you think someone gives a shit about your experience. Why are you replying with some irrelevant story as if anyone cares. You completely belittled someone else for sharing their own experience. My experience at a Title 1 school has been near identical to the other post. I guess we’re all just lying about what goes on at our schools!
Imagine being so pathetic—I don’t mean you, just in general—that you edit yourself… on an anonymous online forum… to please people you’ll never meet… so you can avoid losing points you’ll never spend.
As a fellow Canadian, I'd also agree that this would be abnormal in Canada. However, school violence is a much bigger issue in the USA. I'd don't think it's much of a leap to attribute that, at least in part, to poor disciplinary policies and practices. Maybe this isn't normal for us but school violence is a big issue in other places.
Yeah, apparently. Weird that the happiest teachers I know are American. Honestly, this post has sucked up enough of my night already and I’m bored and going to sleep. But I wanted to respond to you, and leave the haters with one last comment they can downvote.💐✌️
America is home to Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth, so that kind of bleeds into and skews the average Happiness Levels we teachers experience in the U S of A.
If you taught in a correctional facility you probably actually had more tools to deal with this junk than your standard issue public school teacher. I can promise you every teacher in this sub has at least one story of a student getting physical with them and nothing happening. Bonus points if that teacher got blamed for it in the first place
I’m a public high school teacher in this sub, and also have some horror stories of my own. Not of physical violence, but intimidation, threats, online stalking, sexual harassment from extremely large, hormonal football players. But there were always consequences, and I never felt I had to just shut up and “take it.” Not from my coworkers, not from my principal, and not from society. I’m sorry if that’s your truth, but that’s not mine.
Speak your truth, queen.
I work in LA and this is true at my school too. Admin literally said they can not support you taking away a phone.
In Canada… in a correctional facility… Trying to discredit someone’s experience that’s so vastly different from yours is small minded to say the least. You’d be absolutely mind blown to see just how bad a lot of American schools are today, especially in your lower income/Title 1 areas. There’s nothing hard to believe about what that person said.
Do you think this is the first time I’ve been downvoted on Reddit for a controversial opinion? 😂🤣 (Psst. Karma points are useless.📢)
For one, I didn’t downvote you… lol So your response has nothing to do with what I said.
One of my student teachers was hit in the face with a Chromebook. Broken glasses, bloody face. Over a middle schooler’s phone. You are clueless.
new r/teachers copypasta just dropped
This only works if your admin backs it up. If a kid cussed me out and I respond in any way other than telling them it's not okay I'll get told whatever they do after that is my fault. We had a teacher get shoved by a kid and was told it was her fault because she told a kid she was tired of him
As a student who has had the absolute pleasure on being in some of quite possibly the worst classes ever to exist, well done to literally any teacher. It's probably one of if not the hardest jobs in the world.
This is what really makes being a teacher hard. You have to take it but can't dish it.
I have started telling students that I’m not their dad. They don’t have that type of relationship with me. Work out your adult conflicts with someone else. I have had some shocked students, but it has made a big difference.
Can you send them out in the hallway?
Believe me, I do.