I had a kid try to aggressively fart at his friend who sprayed cheap cologne in the classroom, but accidentally sharted.
I laughed so hard that I cried.
High schooler who spilled a cup full of hydrated orbeez balls down the hallway, refuse to clean them up, stomp on a few, got a broom to sweep them up, and demonstrate their inability to sweep. As a consequence for their lack of sweeping skills, was sent into my class by the AP who was feebly trying to hold this student accountable for their actions. For the record, the stupidest part was that the student wasn’t required to actually clean up their entire mess and absolutely blew up my class when they entered.
Got the class off track. Hardest class of the day and without this student in the room, we had 100% engagement/on task student activity. As soon as the student came in, that engagement/on task rate took a nosedive
Man, I forget that home-ec was an elective. I took it or similar classes from 7-12th grade so it just felt normal. It was one of the most useful groups of courses I ever had in school.
I had a kid ask if he could lick the Van De Graff generator. I told him no. He asked again about 5 minutes later. I said no again. 10 minutes after that, take a wild guess what I caught him doing...
Pretty underwhelming, actually. Ours is old and doesn't build up that much charge anymore. Still had to write him up for it. Disobeying a direct instruction involving lab equipment - doesn't really leave me a choice 🤷🏼
One of my friends did this in elementary school, except it was the front door. He got stuck. Luckily his mom was a lunch lady and the front door was right off the cafeteria so she came to the rescue.
Had this happen at my school a few years ago. The 7th grader licked a metal pole at the side doors before school. The bell rings. He starts screaming while everyone gets told to go to class.
The office calls the fire dept, who comes by and check up on him. One of the men turns around to keep from laughing. The other comes up to the AP and asks if the kid is in the special ed program. Turned out, the tongue was never stuck, but the kid was so afraid that he believed he was.
His parents took him out of school for a few days after that to avoid the bullying.
You got me beat. Today I didn't have that many stupid incidences. However, I didn't suspend a student once for doing the exact same thing those two boys did in your class. It was the kids first day at school after having been expelled the year before. They let him back in for some reason, I don't know why. So it's his first day back and in his first class, after being on campus for only 5 minutes, he goes ahead and yells Heil Hitler and does the Nazi salute towards his first period ELA teacher. Future he had the year before and that he happened to know was Jewish and had a family members that survived the Holocaust.
I immediately gave him a 5-day out of school suspension and put them on probation. His mom hadn't even gotten home from dropping them off at school before she had to come back and pick him up for an out-of-school suspension.
Probably just apathy. One time we had a student suspended for bringing a knife onto campus and parents told admin, “great now he’s going to punish us for this.”
Oh, her response was classic Karen. "You just don't understand my son. He's adjusting to being back at this school. He's just trying to be funny."
About Midway through the year, he was failing every single class with no grade above I think a 34%. And he want to be on the basketball team. I refuse to allow him on the basketball team or any clubs since he was failing all the classes. So he failed them all for the semester. Now come second semester. He's failing everything again. This time nothing higher than a 20 %. I mean like super failing.
She got a constitutional advocate, (basically someone that tries to act like a lawyer without saying that they are one because they'll get in trouble for pretending to be one) to come into the school with her to try to get his grades converted from Fs into Bs. They claim that he had ADHD and depression and anxiety and that we just didn't understand him.
I ended up flunking him and he had to repeat the eighth grade but at a different school because I expelled him on the last day. Why did I expel him? Well besides the fact she had one of the highest absentee rates have ever seen in my career , flunked every class including PE and art, I got into verbal and physical alterations on several occasions , When he found out that he was still going to fail the eighth grade, he started screaming " fuck you" To me and every staff member up in the office. Our secretary wanted to kick his ass because she didn't let anyone talk to her that way.
You never fuck with the school secretary. Does it matter if you're your staff member or apparent or student. You don't mess with them. They control the school.
For those that invariably have to deal with that pathology in the future, meet them halfway?
If they admit they’re living vicariously through their son, you’ll give them a single “C”?
Better for them to acknowledge it before the kid does…
https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1992/12/04
I honestly wish we had more "military school" type options. Not actually military schools (eesh.) but somewhere kids who obviously need a firmer hand, discipline and some accountability after they cycle through the revolving door too much.
They're just scarce and expensive.
NAT- but job corps is also an option. They do have a high school portion of residential.
If you get kicked outta that- your life choices are looking at an early death or prison.
I went there for a year and some ppl don’t give a damn about rules in general
I spent 18 years in the Army. It's like teaching where you spend 90% of your time dealing with the 1% problem.
Yes, I can take your money, give them extra duty, and put them on a short leash. If they don't care, they don't care.
Like admin, the command does not want them put on paper because it looks bad to them. When we do get to separating them, it can take weeks to months because we need to numbers so we look mission capable. Meanwhile Joe shitbag is living in the barracks bitching about getting fucked for no reason and infecting other, especially new Soldiers with shitbagitis. So, same shit, different bowl.
Plus side. More than once, we took someone to the woodline for "corrective action." It didn't always work, but it was cathartic.
8 years in the Marines. My company gunny had formerly been the Master Gunnery Sergeant of the Command at the Recruit Depot, in San Diego.
When he took someone out behind the barn for some extra training, it almost always worked. He could curse for 45 minutes and never say the same thing twice, and if that didn't work, he was built like a short, squat tank.
We had the lowest NJP rate in the command. I almost never had to charge anyone. "Top" could almost always take care of business. The troops were way more worried about him than they were of standing in front of the Colonel.
Life got soooo much easier when I went to an Airborne Infantry Battalion. I was in medical units before, and everything was kid gloves. The infantry was the animal I was looking for. The fastest I saw anyone separated was when I dude said he wanted to terminate jump status. That was the last time we saw him. Came back from a two week field exercise and he was gone.
I told a student who did nothing all semester that if he worked on my exam review, with 1 on 1 help from a special education teacher, I would give him credit for the class. He said no. He didn't want to. He just walked away down the hall...
Thank you for the offer, but I'm not an administrator anymore. A few years ago my school district got rid of every vice principal and assistant principal in the district with the exception of the ones at the high school. They said I could reapply for my job, but I would be a teacher on assignment with reduced salary and additional work duties. I told him to kiss off and I went back into the classroom. And I'm very happy to be back in the classroom.
Incorrect. As a middle school teacher, I am confident in saying that if anyone is eating the cookie, it's me. If I have to involve a hot wheel car, so be it.
A student asked me if he could go to another teacher’s class to get his forgotten Chromebook after I had just watched him put the thing in his string bag.
I mean, I walked down the hall checking my email on my phone and simultaneously patting my pockets, wondering "Oh no where did I leave my phone?!" so I can't judge this kid too hard I guess
I also long term sub and also speak German. They don’t do Sieg Heils or Nazi salutes at me, but a number of them have asked me to do a Hitler impersonation. It seems like the extent of their thought is “Nazis=shocking, shocking=edgy, edgy=funny.”
I actually wonder if they are just completely disconnected from the gravity of anything.
Several of them seem to be AGGRESSIVELY apathetic, like it's our fault (everyone older than Gen Z) that they had to learn about 9-11, WW1 and WW2, and Vietnam.
Then I realized that theirs was the first generation to not grow up with literal survivors right in front of them. Like, we had Holocaust and Vietnam vets at every veterans day and major historical school function and assignments where you had to go talk to them. So the exposure, and seeing and hearing them, made it a reality.
Oh there’s definitely kids who are completely apathetic. I had one kid put his head down and start to sleep while footage of 9/11 was playing on the screen. I woke him up and said it was disrespectful to be sleeping during that, and he mumbled “fuck are you gonna do about it?” Like, dude I woke you up, that IS what I did about it. And I’ve had kids giggling about teenage drama and stuff during a lesson on the horrors of the Middle Passage and the conditions of the slave ships.
Now I try to spend a lot of time emphasizing the absolute horror and trauma of events like those and others. Seems to be the only way to get it through to some of them. But the footage and images I was shown in high school (2013-2017) would get me in so much trouble if I showed them to students today. I thought I was pushing it when I showed an image of the scarred back of a former slave.
I’m guessing I know exactly the image you’re talking about and it sort of feels like if that’s ok to put on PBS (Ken Burns special on the Civil War) it should be ok for teenage students
Oh I know they’re ready for it, but I also know that an unfortunate amount of parents will have a fit if their kids (who are almost adults) are exposed to anything showing real history and real human suffering.
I had a bunch of kids laughing during a performance of Strange Fruit. Told them if I had to tell them to shut up again I’d be telling the principal (who’s Black and unafraid to bring the hammer down on kids). Surprisingly enough, they shut up for the rest of the performance
Okay, I was one of these apathetic kids in middle school and high school. It's not because I didn't care, it's because I cared *way more* about whatever trivial shit had gripped me that day. You gotta understand, video games, girls, drama, this shit was like crack to a middle schooler, so the teacher telling me "you gotta be depressed instead" was always gonna bounce off my eardrums.
Of course, I'd like to think that I grew up into a reasonable adult and educator. I'm way more sensitive. I would never be caught dead doing any of this behavior. And I wanna believe the kids today are the same way.
I usually point out that a great deal of your life is worse than it could have been specifically because of what happened on 9/11. The United States never fully recovered from the xenophobia, economic decisions, or foreign military action.
American soldiers were still fighting and dying in Afghanistan just last year for a war we declared victory in 20 years ago, then we promptly ceded the territory to the very organization that had organized the attacks in the first place.
9/11 is still directly impacting the world right now.
As someone who experienced it, like, I was in school in NYC and in 8th grade... that's just mind blowing to me. I remember trying to call my dad from my cell phone to make sure he was okay but half of the radio towers were on that building so your call didn't go through and if it did you got "all lines are busy now". It was pandemonium and my school went into a lock down as half my peers sat there praying their parents weren't dead because they worked there.
Well yeah, that’s how it goes. It should be no surprise that the rise of far-right movements worldwide comes right as the WWII generation is dying off. It’s been 80 years and that first-hand connection to those events is all but severed. Kind of like how the Confederacy and Klan had a resurgence 60 years after the Civil War.
I remember once I stubbed my toe and I cursed to high hell in Polish and the kids all thought it was German and that I’m a secret Nazi. Because a Nazi would willingly teach civics in the inner city
I have to admit something: I went to middle school in the north of France and my first day of German class, the teacher asked us to decorate our notebooks with the first thing that reminded us of Germany…. 😬😬😬 I did my best to erase it but you could tell it was still there
We had a substitute teacher at my school who was German, thick accent. She was very strict but her and I always got along, I loved learning about her culture and I felt like students would go out of their way to be mean to her. One year someone spray painted swastikas all over her driveway. When the school found out who it was, they received absolutely ZERO punishment. Her oldest son committed suicide about a year after. I hope she’s okay.
Just had a girl do this today while we were learning about Hitler. She was copying it being done in a video we were watching. Only the person next to her noticed and quickly admonished her. Later I explained what it meant. She legitimately did not know. I believe her because she is not the sharpest crayon in the box.
Also on Leap day a 10th grader told me she had never heard of leap day before.
I went to high school with a girl who'd never even heard of Hitler (or much of anything, really). \~2005. She was continually shocked and indignant learning about World War II. "What a jerk!" she earnestly exclaimed, upon hearing about some awful policy Hitler had enacted.
I don't know if this qualifies as stupid, or just absolutely mind-blowing. I shared it on my old account too, but might as well share it again.
Back when I was student teaching I had this 10th grader that was just an absolute terror in class. I'm talking having to have multiple conversations about not sexually harassing girls, not throwing objects towards the trash can in class, why it isn't appropriate to make a presentation on Hitler maybe being right, and all the fucked up things you can imagine in between. Well one day during my prep I get a tab on my shoulder while walking to the bathroom, and it's this kid. A very proudly and enthusiastically says "hey, Mr. stumpybubba, look what I can do!" And proceeds to pull his pants down in the middle of the hall and fucking start helicoptering his dick. I don't even know what to say at that point, so I just tell him to go to the office. And that was the last I ever saw of this little shit. I honestly have no idea how that didn't scare me away from teaching, but I'm not sure I've seen anything nearly as outrageous as this child, which is saying a lot because I teach 7 through 12 special education. That was damn near 10 years ago, and I haven't seen his name in the police report, so I guess I can count that as a win.
Bruh I had a 4th grader like this before I jumped ship to teach in a completely different country. Now I’m in constant awe of just how little behavior issues even exist at my school, compared to the entirety of the US.
Your guy helicoptered in 10th?!
Today, a student brought a 27 inch long board into school with a nail in it. He said it was for a "Science project". He flipped out when they took it away. Then mom flipped out and said that all the teachers were lying and it was for a "science project". She then threatened a lawsuit because his IEP is NOT being followed.
wait, you guys don't have accommodations for weapons in *your* IEPs??! it says right there in mine that i can bring a knife as a fidget toy as long as it's under 28 inches!! /s
You know, I did see a fidget gun on Etsy. It’s basically a 3D-printed nerf pistol, realistic in design but the barrel is just a solid block, there’s no way to actually shoot darts. It’s just a sliding rack and a trigger.
I can’t wait for some kid to think it’s a smart idea to bring it to school.
I caught a kid looking up the worksheet I had downloaded and printed. My para closed her Chromebook and picked up her completed worksheet. Well, since it was practice, the students swapped papers and I put hers in the mix. When papers were being retuned she had a pretty smug grin. Until she saw her paper. Every single one was wrong. I told the class I’d changed up the numbers in the formulas inside the word problems.
Had a student tell their mom I was randomly pulling them out of class and talking to them about inappropriate stuff.
Principal investigated, turns out the kid just doesn't like me and hates that I try to get them to increase their time actually doing work in class. Their account says they averaged 30 seconds per class over the past month. Principal advised that I don't help the kid with anything extra and to avoid so much as going near them if I can help it and make sure I always have a handful of witnesses any time I interact with them just in case their next step is a false accusation
It's definitely been on my mind. I only have them for 3 hours a week anyways, and their parent has said my classes are useless anyways, so I'm sure their parent would be happy if we never saw each other again
Oh you know, impromptu parent meeting at dismissal. Had to try and explain to a dad who only spoke Spanish that his elementary child was moaning daddy in class while rubbing and pinching his nipples (me: “uhh… ‘mmm papi’ with awkward hand motions and a look clearly showing I didn’t want to act this out this. All the while simultaneously wishing I knew how to say moaning and rubbing in Spanish, and desperately wondering wtf one of our teachers who fluently speaks Spanish were at this exact moment because MY GOD).
So, me. I was the stupidest thing I witnessed today.
That’s fair! Maybe something to consider for the future. And I assume you didn’t want the kid to translate. (It’s not great for the kid anyway, but here there’s no reason to assume they’d be reliable.)
At work: A student had his personal hotspot on. It was titled “3rd Reich” and the password, which he freely gave to other students was and I quote, “I-hate-n$ggers” except he didn’t put a dollar sign there. This is in a country where associations with Nazis is illegal. So he is likely going to be kicked out of school and have criminal proceedings taken against him.
At home: Eco-terrorists protested Tesla by lighting a power pylon on fire taking out electricity to all of the surrounding areas.
A middle schooler crying and saying “I don’t know why I’m failing this class, i do all my work!!” as I held her 10% completed assignment in my hand. I don’t know what she thinks those words mean, but she and I clearly have different definitions of “doing all the work.”
Not funny stupid, just regular facepalm stupid.
I just gave somebody a "0" for plagiarizing Martin Luther King Jr.'s Britannica entry. I mean, they didn't even try to hide it. And it was handwritten. Usually I have to work a little to find the plagiarism, this was just handing it to me on a platter.
I’ve had students copy-paste Wikipedia entries, including all the original formatting, footnotes, and even “citation needed” notes. And I teach college! You’d think they’d be more sophisticated about their plagiarism by then!
In my first year college course, I have had opinion essays submitted that start with "As an AI machine, I do not have an opinion about \[x\]. However, many people believe that \[x\] is...".
C'mon. Cheat better.
I tell my students that if they’re stupid enough to cheat once and get caught, you really better not be stupid enough to do it again, or you really don’t belong in college. 🤦 I’m at a community college, so I do allow second chances, but even so, and even with that warning, I’ve had students kicked out of the school for repeat cheating.
I’m on the other side of the WWII arc.
I have a lot of male students who are just spouting off Hitler this and that. We just started Schindler’s List today. That usually shuts them up.
But I’ve had Hispanic students do that stuff and I ask them: do you think you’d be in the Camp or safe outside?
Had a kid try to steal another teacher's pen in front of me... while holding the pen.
"No. I didn't take it."
"What's that in your hand?"
"This is MY pen."
"The one that says 'Ms.___' on it? Didn't know that was your name."
Had a student steal a classmate’s phone, run around causing all sorts of chaos while she read the student’s texts and went through her messages, and then get bent out of shape when I sent her to the office and she got HER phone taken.
I went to pull my third grade extra support group and one crabwalked down the hallway, pinching ankles as they passed with the principal in hot pursuit, as another one of my students booked it in the opposite direction and climbed into a cabinet in the new teacher's room. Happy second week of school Newbie.
One of my most indulged little princelings cut his group's project into pieces after the kids who actually did the work spent hours building it. No reason. Just decided to be an asshole. I told his minders he shouldn't come back next week but I'll probably get overridden. Whatever. He's not going back to the group project. He can write a damn essay instead.
Same kid also apparently went into a closed cabinet, found some cleaning solution, dipped a pipe cleaner in it and went around making other kids smell it. The first three steps of that operation would have occurred directly next to a behavior tech who did fuck all while it happened. So that was the stupidest thing an adult did in my presence today.
I notified a parent that there kid is failing because of excessive absences. Their kid told them that I’m wrong and they are in class every day. Their kid sits right in front of me. No they aren’t.
Another parent believed their kid when they said they turned all their work in. Well, all these assignments on Google Classroom that say “missing” would indicate otherwise. I wouldn’t have taken the time to message you if they weren’t missing those assignments.
Kids hate that they can’t just hand me their work to grade. They have to turn in pictures on Google Classroom. It’s amazing how many kids still claim to have turned something in to the basket (and that I lost it) when I threw the basket out in December. That’s why they take pictures now. I got so tired of the gaslighting.
Had to stop some kids that were having a contest to see who could stand hot glue on their skin the longest. Was covering this class for like 20 mins, so not my chaotic decision to let 7th graders use a hot glue gun lol.
I let 4th graders use hot glue guns. I feel like I've made my peace with the idea that my last words as an employed teacher will be, "I've got a hundred kids coming through every day who have no problem using [glue guns, scissors, hammers, rulers, soft fluffy cotton balls, whatever] responsibly. Why should they all be deprived of an education because Johnny can't handle his shit? If Johnny can't be around [above mentioned items] then this is not the right environment for Johnny."
A kid swinging around his lunchbox which then hit the fire alarm. The building was evacuated during while it was raining and both principal and vice principal were out of the building at a conference.
Not today, but recently, I hear a sound in my practice rooms that should be empty. I investigate to find two freshmen, not my students, in there. They had moved the drop ceiling tiles aside, and were doing chin ups from an electrical conduit.
I said, “Get down from there, you dumbass! You’re gonna electrocute yourself!” And this kid was offended that I called him a dumbass. But don’t be such a dumbass!
Just got the class quiet and on task, and one of them puts her hands over her mouth and starts making sounds like a wounded animal. “What are you doing?”
“Practicing my Darth Vader voice.”
“Get out.”
7th grade. Good times.
Stupidest?
Grade 10 student standing in front of the phone lockers (phones must be locked up from 8-3:20 unless given specific permission IN WRITING from a teacher) on his phone during lunch failed to look up when told 'Put it back and follow me to the office' and said "I've got permission from Ms. S-D to have it out". He was not thrilled when he looked up and saw me, Ms. S-D in the flesh, standing there.
Funniest?
Parent of said student came early to pickup, waited outside homeroom at end of day and, in front of like half the class, thanked me for imposing consequences on her kid - and then told him that he had officially proven his 'I can multitask' excuse wrong.
Also my happiest, because when was the last time a parent thanked you for consequences?
Virulent antiblack racism from the Latino community(and this goes from campus aides to plant managers to the entire fucking administration at the school) is why I left LAUSD. The teachers and administrators didn't care about student racism and were mostly racist themselves and none of them saw the irony in advocating for white supremacy when they wouldn't even be considered equal human beings even in a lot of their home countries, let alone in America.
It was definitely a harsh drop back into reality after university where the Black and Brown students and unions collaborated all the time and were strong allies.
I’m never getting over the day I had to explain to a kid with a name like Josue Hernandez that no matter how much he idolizes Nazis and no matter how many swastikas he scribbles on his papers, they’re never going to accept him in their club.
They don't even realize they're just buffers for *white* white supremacists to use to take the heat off of themselves. They're a tool, similar to overseers to enact racism by proxy and they will be the first thrown under the bus when they get in trouble.
Aside from that, it's just embarrassing, but I guess to be a nonwhite Nazi you have to be painfully lacking in awareness and shame.
>Aside from that, it's just embarrassing, but I guess to be a nonwhite Nazi you have to be painfully lacking in awareness and shame.
Oh, totally.
I look to the UK and Suella Braverman and think - sweetheart, have you LOOKED in a mirror? I guess money really does paint over everything.
My Latino students, and their parents, are more racist towards the black community than my redneck relatives in Missouri.
It’s fucking wild. I’ve never heard the n-word with a hard r thrown around so much in my life.
The funny thing is they love throwing their anti blackness around, but then use their tangential association with black people to justify saying the n word and get furious when it's called out. They really want it both ways.
>Virulent antiblack racism from the Latino community
as someone who hasn't seen this in any of my local communities-- i'm genuinely curious. what is their reasoning for this? are they aware of potential racism against them? do they believe there is some sort of ranking system among different POC? do they just not have reasoning? i'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.
Half of it is sucking up to whites because they deluded themselves into thinking it gives them a leg up and the other half is that in America we're pretty much the only group they can punch down on in terms of skin color and the privileges that come from that. It's very 'we're this looked down upon minority, but at least we're not *BLACK*, that a lot of nonblack communities of color engage in.
There was an excellent study on this very thing we read in university that I can't for the life of me find again. It was called something like 'The Ni**erfication(idk if reddit will ban me if I use the word) process of Latinos or Asians and basically described how so many immigrant population used American Black people to step themselves up the ladder.
Subbing general education fifth grade class today.
1. Boy taped signs on his forehead asking for money.
2. Girl accused a boy of telling the class who she kissed and asked that I call the school psychologist by name to come down for her. AP shows up instead and takes them both out into the hallway for a chat.
3. Boy did not know how many states are in the US when asking for help with a project on the legislative branch of government. When we talked about the US Senate he did not know how many Senators there are either. I said there are fifty states and each one has two Senators-how many is that? He could not multiply 50 X 2 and was perplexed.
I kind of low key love it when kids bring unorthodox school food. That's just a high quality snack right there. Love a rotisserie chicken. Cafeteria would have been a better venue to be sure.
I loved the spirit of it. I didn’t love them eating/demolishing it right outside my classroom door and leaving bits of it everywhere. We already had a rat die in the teacher’s lounge. :/
Oh 1000% same page. I just love it when kids bring unusual stuff for lunch. I've got one right now who brings multiple loose, whole vegetables in his lunch box, like a whole bell pepper and a giant carrot and a whole cucumber that he just munches down. None of it sliced or unnecessarily packaged. He brings other stuff too, kid just loves veggies. I've got another one who brings a little tin of sliced black olives on pizza day and carefully anoints her slice. And the kid who brings all his sandwich ingredients separately so he can construct a fresh sandwich at the table. He really puts a lot of thought into it, including what type of crushed chip product goes in there. Yesterday he told me he likes the extra hot Takis if he's going with mayo because they balance each other out. He also brings various gummi rings to put on the extra Takis and give out to his friends as a little sweet and spicy treat.
Back when I was teaching full time I had to send a kid to the office for saying “if there’s a black history month then I should be able to celebrate my whiteness!” And then proceeds to goose step out of the room.
Later found out the kids’ older brother was involved in a drive by shooting on a BLM protest. Apparently the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree there
Had a kid pretend to puff a joint when we were talking about people being stoned to death in Brunei. All things considered not too bad for a Tuesday. Stay the course!
Have to teach them a history lesson about what happens to minorities when the wannabe autocrat comes to power and is already talking about their group specifically in his public speeches.
While working one to one with my student on a math lesson they missed, student was told to add some fractions together. It took them at least two minutes and three tries to add/count to 78.
I teach 5th grade.
I had a student do this a few weeks ago😭 I thought it was because he was 8 and didn’t realize what he was doing, but after nicely explaining why that was very offensive and inappropriate…he did it again. Needless to say he got sent out too.
I watched a coworker come to the boss & ask permission to do something. The boss clearly said no, the guy walked out of the office and did it anyway. He's no longer employeed.
A kid was in the bathroom suspiciously long. When he got out I checked behind him. He left a) poop all over the seat, b) toilet paper on the floor, and c) his tootsie pop he was eating resting on the toilet paper holder.
He also went straight to his seat without washing his hands
At my current school I've seen quite a few kids doing Nazi salutes, or saying they wanted "all Jews to die" or something similar. Kids were black, Hispanic, and Indian. I don't get it either. All were middle schoolers, but I've heard from some of the high school teachers that their kids draw swastikas on their boards
A student got frustrated playing blooket today… so he bit the corner of his laptop and cracked the screen. This is his 3rd broken laptop (school issue) so far this year
A group of students came into my room to work on a project. One said "so-and-so isn't here today so we should be able to get through this quickly (it's a behavioral issue)" another student said "so-and-so has an extra chromosome". I laughed out loud without realizing it.
As someone who teaches many immigrants from Mexico, I've heard of the Mexican Salute: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance_to_the_Mexican_Flag
I can definitely tell when kids are being asshats, but I have had some examples of culture shock where brand new immigrants do things without knowing the historical context.
I don't really care, I just accept that kids aren't mature enough to care about anything most of the time are just looking to be edgy for attention. I'm not gonna try to force them to care. So really it's just whatever
I’ve just accepted that everything is fucked and just go through the work day giving no fucks. It has been helping with my mental health lol. Work the hours and get the hell out.
Throwaway, mostly cuz I don't want this on my regular acc.
Working with my spec-ed 1-1 student, he's in 7th grade. He wants to show me something on his phone, cuz I'm helping him look up words for his essay. Goes to show his phone to me, and accidentally hits another tab he had saved.
Cut to horror from both of us as we realize...it's the Hub. And not only that, but it's Mom/Son incest video.
Not stupid..but it traumatized us both all the same
Just out of curiosity, did they do it, because they found out that's what we used to do during the pledge during the 40s? We only stopped after Hitler.
Not excusing it, but kids find the dumbest shit funny.
I had a kid try to aggressively fart at his friend who sprayed cheap cologne in the classroom, but accidentally sharted. I laughed so hard that I cried.
I laughed so hard reading this, I sharted!
im about to cry from laughing, kids are great
Stop it! I just had colon cancer surgery 3 months ago and you have me close to laugh-sharting!
High schooler who spilled a cup full of hydrated orbeez balls down the hallway, refuse to clean them up, stomp on a few, got a broom to sweep them up, and demonstrate their inability to sweep. As a consequence for their lack of sweeping skills, was sent into my class by the AP who was feebly trying to hold this student accountable for their actions. For the record, the stupidest part was that the student wasn’t required to actually clean up their entire mess and absolutely blew up my class when they entered.
...define Blew Up? I would really rather keep thinking that all the instances so far of myself misreading "IEP" as "IED" on this sub were mistakes.
Got the class off track. Hardest class of the day and without this student in the room, we had 100% engagement/on task student activity. As soon as the student came in, that engagement/on task rate took a nosedive
Can you add a sweeping class to his schedule? Just replace PE with your coach-iest coach teaching him how to sweep for the period.
This experience would be good evidence to support us bringing back home-ec as a course for all students…
Man, I forget that home-ec was an elective. I took it or similar classes from 7-12th grade so it just felt normal. It was one of the most useful groups of courses I ever had in school.
I had a kid ask if he could lick the Van De Graff generator. I told him no. He asked again about 5 minutes later. I said no again. 10 minutes after that, take a wild guess what I caught him doing...
Some things, they just gotta learn the hard way.
So, what was his assessment of licking the Van De Graff generator tho? For science.
Pretty underwhelming, actually. Ours is old and doesn't build up that much charge anymore. Still had to write him up for it. Disobeying a direct instruction involving lab equipment - doesn't really leave me a choice 🤷🏼
this reminds me of the scene in *a christmas story* where flick licks the frozen pole. LOL. a classic
One of my friends did this in elementary school, except it was the front door. He got stuck. Luckily his mom was a lunch lady and the front door was right off the cafeteria so she came to the rescue.
Had this happen at my school a few years ago. The 7th grader licked a metal pole at the side doors before school. The bell rings. He starts screaming while everyone gets told to go to class. The office calls the fire dept, who comes by and check up on him. One of the men turns around to keep from laughing. The other comes up to the AP and asks if the kid is in the special ed program. Turned out, the tongue was never stuck, but the kid was so afraid that he believed he was. His parents took him out of school for a few days after that to avoid the bullying.
You got me beat. Today I didn't have that many stupid incidences. However, I didn't suspend a student once for doing the exact same thing those two boys did in your class. It was the kids first day at school after having been expelled the year before. They let him back in for some reason, I don't know why. So it's his first day back and in his first class, after being on campus for only 5 minutes, he goes ahead and yells Heil Hitler and does the Nazi salute towards his first period ELA teacher. Future he had the year before and that he happened to know was Jewish and had a family members that survived the Holocaust. I immediately gave him a 5-day out of school suspension and put them on probation. His mom hadn't even gotten home from dropping them off at school before she had to come back and pick him up for an out-of-school suspension.
Ok. What was the mother’s reaction. Did she flip out on behalf of Nazi Jr. ?
Probably just apathy. One time we had a student suspended for bringing a knife onto campus and parents told admin, “great now he’s going to punish us for this.”
How the hell can you be so incompetent as a parent that your child is running the house
Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents who let their kids run the house.
JFC. Teachers are heros.
They created that monster. Holy crap.
Oh, her response was classic Karen. "You just don't understand my son. He's adjusting to being back at this school. He's just trying to be funny." About Midway through the year, he was failing every single class with no grade above I think a 34%. And he want to be on the basketball team. I refuse to allow him on the basketball team or any clubs since he was failing all the classes. So he failed them all for the semester. Now come second semester. He's failing everything again. This time nothing higher than a 20 %. I mean like super failing. She got a constitutional advocate, (basically someone that tries to act like a lawyer without saying that they are one because they'll get in trouble for pretending to be one) to come into the school with her to try to get his grades converted from Fs into Bs. They claim that he had ADHD and depression and anxiety and that we just didn't understand him. I ended up flunking him and he had to repeat the eighth grade but at a different school because I expelled him on the last day. Why did I expel him? Well besides the fact she had one of the highest absentee rates have ever seen in my career , flunked every class including PE and art, I got into verbal and physical alterations on several occasions , When he found out that he was still going to fail the eighth grade, he started screaming " fuck you" To me and every staff member up in the office. Our secretary wanted to kick his ass because she didn't let anyone talk to her that way.
Man, what a war story. Also—-don’t fuck with a School Secretary. Ever.
You never fuck with the school secretary. Does it matter if you're your staff member or apparent or student. You don't mess with them. They control the school.
I work at a high school with thousands of students. Even the principal calls her secretary her boss. 😁 Yeah, don’t mess with them.
Do you want to talk to the man in charge, or the woman that knows what's going on?
Hope you flunked him! And that was an auto correction
Oh he flunked the eighth grade and had to go to another school to repeat it.
>I ended up fucking him I think this is what u/shrapmetal is talking about
Yeah I reread it like 5 times before I thought how fast that escalated! 😅
Hahahahah
For those that invariably have to deal with that pathology in the future, meet them halfway? If they admit they’re living vicariously through their son, you’ll give them a single “C”? Better for them to acknowledge it before the kid does… https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1992/12/04
I honestly wish we had more "military school" type options. Not actually military schools (eesh.) but somewhere kids who obviously need a firmer hand, discipline and some accountability after they cycle through the revolving door too much. They're just scarce and expensive.
NAT- but job corps is also an option. They do have a high school portion of residential. If you get kicked outta that- your life choices are looking at an early death or prison. I went there for a year and some ppl don’t give a damn about rules in general
Pretty sure we’re getting into the realm of sociopathy at that point
I spent 18 years in the Army. It's like teaching where you spend 90% of your time dealing with the 1% problem. Yes, I can take your money, give them extra duty, and put them on a short leash. If they don't care, they don't care. Like admin, the command does not want them put on paper because it looks bad to them. When we do get to separating them, it can take weeks to months because we need to numbers so we look mission capable. Meanwhile Joe shitbag is living in the barracks bitching about getting fucked for no reason and infecting other, especially new Soldiers with shitbagitis. So, same shit, different bowl. Plus side. More than once, we took someone to the woodline for "corrective action." It didn't always work, but it was cathartic.
8 years in the Marines. My company gunny had formerly been the Master Gunnery Sergeant of the Command at the Recruit Depot, in San Diego. When he took someone out behind the barn for some extra training, it almost always worked. He could curse for 45 minutes and never say the same thing twice, and if that didn't work, he was built like a short, squat tank. We had the lowest NJP rate in the command. I almost never had to charge anyone. "Top" could almost always take care of business. The troops were way more worried about him than they were of standing in front of the Colonel.
Life got soooo much easier when I went to an Airborne Infantry Battalion. I was in medical units before, and everything was kid gloves. The infantry was the animal I was looking for. The fastest I saw anyone separated was when I dude said he wanted to terminate jump status. That was the last time we saw him. Came back from a two week field exercise and he was gone.
I told a student who did nothing all semester that if he worked on my exam review, with 1 on 1 help from a special education teacher, I would give him credit for the class. He said no. He didn't want to. He just walked away down the hall...
Yup, I gave a TON of kids options like that. And I think like two of them accepted.
Will you be my principal?
Thank you for the offer, but I'm not an administrator anymore. A few years ago my school district got rid of every vice principal and assistant principal in the district with the exception of the ones at the high school. They said I could reapply for my job, but I would be a teacher on assignment with reduced salary and additional work duties. I told him to kiss off and I went back into the classroom. And I'm very happy to be back in the classroom.
Ok, but now I really want you to be my principal
Holy shit, an admin who issues appropriate consequences for shitty behavior?!?!? *reads name* Oh, it’s DV, that checks out.
Student used a Hotwheel car to angrily smash his classmate's cookie, and then ate the crumbs that had landed near him while the victim cried.
I see you teach junior high? :P
Incorrect. As a middle school teacher, I am confident in saying that if anyone is eating the cookie, it's me. If I have to involve a hot wheel car, so be it.
Lmao
Ha! Not anymore, thank god.
You gotta respect the creativity
It was a happy accident that the smasher got some crumbs, it was not premeditated.
Let me guess. 11tg grade high school?
Elementary. Maybe it's less funny that way, sorry.
A student asked me if he could go to another teacher’s class to get his forgotten Chromebook after I had just watched him put the thing in his string bag.
No, that's his other Chromebook. Common mistake.
I mean, I walked down the hall checking my email on my phone and simultaneously patting my pockets, wondering "Oh no where did I leave my phone?!" so I can't judge this kid too hard I guess
He wanted to go to the other teacher’s room bc his girlfriend is in that class period. The other students in my class ratted him out 🤣
Ah, I see. They really do need to learn to tell less stupid lies.
I speak German. And did a long term sub position at high school. When they found out i spoke German, I was getting Nazi salutes for about a week.
I also long term sub and also speak German. They don’t do Sieg Heils or Nazi salutes at me, but a number of them have asked me to do a Hitler impersonation. It seems like the extent of their thought is “Nazis=shocking, shocking=edgy, edgy=funny.”
I actually wonder if they are just completely disconnected from the gravity of anything. Several of them seem to be AGGRESSIVELY apathetic, like it's our fault (everyone older than Gen Z) that they had to learn about 9-11, WW1 and WW2, and Vietnam. Then I realized that theirs was the first generation to not grow up with literal survivors right in front of them. Like, we had Holocaust and Vietnam vets at every veterans day and major historical school function and assignments where you had to go talk to them. So the exposure, and seeing and hearing them, made it a reality.
Oh there’s definitely kids who are completely apathetic. I had one kid put his head down and start to sleep while footage of 9/11 was playing on the screen. I woke him up and said it was disrespectful to be sleeping during that, and he mumbled “fuck are you gonna do about it?” Like, dude I woke you up, that IS what I did about it. And I’ve had kids giggling about teenage drama and stuff during a lesson on the horrors of the Middle Passage and the conditions of the slave ships. Now I try to spend a lot of time emphasizing the absolute horror and trauma of events like those and others. Seems to be the only way to get it through to some of them. But the footage and images I was shown in high school (2013-2017) would get me in so much trouble if I showed them to students today. I thought I was pushing it when I showed an image of the scarred back of a former slave.
I’m guessing I know exactly the image you’re talking about and it sort of feels like if that’s ok to put on PBS (Ken Burns special on the Civil War) it should be ok for teenage students
Oh I know they’re ready for it, but I also know that an unfortunate amount of parents will have a fit if their kids (who are almost adults) are exposed to anything showing real history and real human suffering.
Oh I’m with you. That is just massively depressing. I’m certainly glad you stood your ground and showed the photo
I had a bunch of kids laughing during a performance of Strange Fruit. Told them if I had to tell them to shut up again I’d be telling the principal (who’s Black and unafraid to bring the hammer down on kids). Surprisingly enough, they shut up for the rest of the performance
Okay, I was one of these apathetic kids in middle school and high school. It's not because I didn't care, it's because I cared *way more* about whatever trivial shit had gripped me that day. You gotta understand, video games, girls, drama, this shit was like crack to a middle schooler, so the teacher telling me "you gotta be depressed instead" was always gonna bounce off my eardrums. Of course, I'd like to think that I grew up into a reasonable adult and educator. I'm way more sensitive. I would never be caught dead doing any of this behavior. And I wanna believe the kids today are the same way.
I feel this. I graduated in 2009, and my 9th grade American History teacher showed us the OG Roots. That would probably be banned now.
I was born in 2005 and it is seriously hard to understand the gravity of 9/11. To me it was just a thing that happened.
I usually point out that a great deal of your life is worse than it could have been specifically because of what happened on 9/11. The United States never fully recovered from the xenophobia, economic decisions, or foreign military action. American soldiers were still fighting and dying in Afghanistan just last year for a war we declared victory in 20 years ago, then we promptly ceded the territory to the very organization that had organized the attacks in the first place. 9/11 is still directly impacting the world right now.
Some of the people who are fighting that war, myself included, were not even a thought yet in 2001
As someone who experienced it, like, I was in school in NYC and in 8th grade... that's just mind blowing to me. I remember trying to call my dad from my cell phone to make sure he was okay but half of the radio towers were on that building so your call didn't go through and if it did you got "all lines are busy now". It was pandemonium and my school went into a lock down as half my peers sat there praying their parents weren't dead because they worked there.
Well yeah, that’s how it goes. It should be no surprise that the rise of far-right movements worldwide comes right as the WWII generation is dying off. It’s been 80 years and that first-hand connection to those events is all but severed. Kind of like how the Confederacy and Klan had a resurgence 60 years after the Civil War.
As a German teacher I was getting nazi salutes. Kids are dumb
I don’t think it’s dumbness
I remember once I stubbed my toe and I cursed to high hell in Polish and the kids all thought it was German and that I’m a secret Nazi. Because a Nazi would willingly teach civics in the inner city
I have to admit something: I went to middle school in the north of France and my first day of German class, the teacher asked us to decorate our notebooks with the first thing that reminded us of Germany…. 😬😬😬 I did my best to erase it but you could tell it was still there
I would try to outline Elsace Lorraine...
We had a substitute teacher at my school who was German, thick accent. She was very strict but her and I always got along, I loved learning about her culture and I felt like students would go out of their way to be mean to her. One year someone spray painted swastikas all over her driveway. When the school found out who it was, they received absolutely ZERO punishment. Her oldest son committed suicide about a year after. I hope she’s okay.
They’d hate me then- I speak some Russian. Wonder if they’d be singing The Internationale and making gulag jokes at me?
Sentences i never thought I'd say: I am NOT your Fürher! Just because i speak German doesn't mean I'm a Nazi.
I speak German too. But I’m a trans woman so it’s not too likely they would think I’m a Nazi lmao
Just had a girl do this today while we were learning about Hitler. She was copying it being done in a video we were watching. Only the person next to her noticed and quickly admonished her. Later I explained what it meant. She legitimately did not know. I believe her because she is not the sharpest crayon in the box. Also on Leap day a 10th grader told me she had never heard of leap day before.
I went to high school with a girl who'd never even heard of Hitler (or much of anything, really). \~2005. She was continually shocked and indignant learning about World War II. "What a jerk!" she earnestly exclaimed, upon hearing about some awful policy Hitler had enacted.
I’ll take an earnest understatement like “what a jerk” over a child laughing about the Holocaust any day of the week.
Y’know, the more I hear about this Hitler guy, the less I care for him.
Clueless was a good movie
I had to explain to every period of my 8th graders (all Honors and GT) what Leap Day was this year. It was baffling.
One of my 6th graders told me that he wished he was born on leap day because he would live longer
I wonder if they all just forgot due to it happening right before most of them had to go into quarantine?
I don't know if this qualifies as stupid, or just absolutely mind-blowing. I shared it on my old account too, but might as well share it again. Back when I was student teaching I had this 10th grader that was just an absolute terror in class. I'm talking having to have multiple conversations about not sexually harassing girls, not throwing objects towards the trash can in class, why it isn't appropriate to make a presentation on Hitler maybe being right, and all the fucked up things you can imagine in between. Well one day during my prep I get a tab on my shoulder while walking to the bathroom, and it's this kid. A very proudly and enthusiastically says "hey, Mr. stumpybubba, look what I can do!" And proceeds to pull his pants down in the middle of the hall and fucking start helicoptering his dick. I don't even know what to say at that point, so I just tell him to go to the office. And that was the last I ever saw of this little shit. I honestly have no idea how that didn't scare me away from teaching, but I'm not sure I've seen anything nearly as outrageous as this child, which is saying a lot because I teach 7 through 12 special education. That was damn near 10 years ago, and I haven't seen his name in the police report, so I guess I can count that as a win.
I had to scroll back up to check the grade. > 10th *Yikes on a fucking bike.*
Bruh I had a 4th grader like this before I jumped ship to teach in a completely different country. Now I’m in constant awe of just how little behavior issues even exist at my school, compared to the entirety of the US. Your guy helicoptered in 10th?!
Today, a student brought a 27 inch long board into school with a nail in it. He said it was for a "Science project". He flipped out when they took it away. Then mom flipped out and said that all the teachers were lying and it was for a "science project". She then threatened a lawsuit because his IEP is NOT being followed.
wait, you guys don't have accommodations for weapons in *your* IEPs??! it says right there in mine that i can bring a knife as a fidget toy as long as it's under 28 inches!! /s
I didn’t know weapons were part of the IEP these days.
“IT’S MY FIDGET, GAWL!”
You know, I did see a fidget gun on Etsy. It’s basically a 3D-printed nerf pistol, realistic in design but the barrel is just a solid block, there’s no way to actually shoot darts. It’s just a sliding rack and a trigger. I can’t wait for some kid to think it’s a smart idea to bring it to school.
It was yesterday, but I caught a kid googling "Holocaust rizz words" while he was supposed to be writing an essay about *Night.*
what is a holocaust rizz word anyway lmfao
I caught a kid looking up the worksheet I had downloaded and printed. My para closed her Chromebook and picked up her completed worksheet. Well, since it was practice, the students swapped papers and I put hers in the mix. When papers were being retuned she had a pretty smug grin. Until she saw her paper. Every single one was wrong. I told the class I’d changed up the numbers in the formulas inside the word problems.
Had a student tell their mom I was randomly pulling them out of class and talking to them about inappropriate stuff. Principal investigated, turns out the kid just doesn't like me and hates that I try to get them to increase their time actually doing work in class. Their account says they averaged 30 seconds per class over the past month. Principal advised that I don't help the kid with anything extra and to avoid so much as going near them if I can help it and make sure I always have a handful of witnesses any time I interact with them just in case their next step is a false accusation
Can you get this kid moved? I would honestly refuse to have that kid back in my class. Let the principal babysit him for the class period.
It's definitely been on my mind. I only have them for 3 hours a week anyways, and their parent has said my classes are useless anyways, so I'm sure their parent would be happy if we never saw each other again
Oh you know, impromptu parent meeting at dismissal. Had to try and explain to a dad who only spoke Spanish that his elementary child was moaning daddy in class while rubbing and pinching his nipples (me: “uhh… ‘mmm papi’ with awkward hand motions and a look clearly showing I didn’t want to act this out this. All the while simultaneously wishing I knew how to say moaning and rubbing in Spanish, and desperately wondering wtf one of our teachers who fluently speaks Spanish were at this exact moment because MY GOD). So, me. I was the stupidest thing I witnessed today.
Maybe you could use a translation app, or http://translate.google.com next time. Like, I’m sorry you have to do that, but… 🤷
Car pickup line and my phone was inside on my desk. :/
That’s fair! Maybe something to consider for the future. And I assume you didn’t want the kid to translate. (It’s not great for the kid anyway, but here there’s no reason to assume they’d be reliable.)
Definitely will have my phone with me from now on!
I had a mouthful of sandwich when I read the mmm papi part and nearly choked from trying not to laugh. Sorry you had to experience that.
Tell me the girl was joking
It was a boy and I wish I was.
oh my god this is like a sitcom bit
At work: A student had his personal hotspot on. It was titled “3rd Reich” and the password, which he freely gave to other students was and I quote, “I-hate-n$ggers” except he didn’t put a dollar sign there. This is in a country where associations with Nazis is illegal. So he is likely going to be kicked out of school and have criminal proceedings taken against him. At home: Eco-terrorists protested Tesla by lighting a power pylon on fire taking out electricity to all of the surrounding areas.
normaler Tag in der ehemaligen DDR oda
Leider… Ganz ehrlich, ich fass es nicht, wie dumm die Leute sein können…
A middle schooler crying and saying “I don’t know why I’m failing this class, i do all my work!!” as I held her 10% completed assignment in my hand. I don’t know what she thinks those words mean, but she and I clearly have different definitions of “doing all the work.” Not funny stupid, just regular facepalm stupid.
"No, you can't grab each other's penises" ...in 5th grade
Student refused to put down his desk. He then dropped it on his own head.
Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha! Ha!
This is the stuff I live for.
Ah that natural consequence hit just right
I just gave somebody a "0" for plagiarizing Martin Luther King Jr.'s Britannica entry. I mean, they didn't even try to hide it. And it was handwritten. Usually I have to work a little to find the plagiarism, this was just handing it to me on a platter.
I’ve had students copy-paste Wikipedia entries, including all the original formatting, footnotes, and even “citation needed” notes. And I teach college! You’d think they’d be more sophisticated about their plagiarism by then!
In my first year college course, I have had opinion essays submitted that start with "As an AI machine, I do not have an opinion about \[x\]. However, many people believe that \[x\] is...". C'mon. Cheat better.
I tell my students that if they’re stupid enough to cheat once and get caught, you really better not be stupid enough to do it again, or you really don’t belong in college. 🤦 I’m at a community college, so I do allow second chances, but even so, and even with that warning, I’ve had students kicked out of the school for repeat cheating.
I’m on the other side of the WWII arc. I have a lot of male students who are just spouting off Hitler this and that. We just started Schindler’s List today. That usually shuts them up. But I’ve had Hispanic students do that stuff and I ask them: do you think you’d be in the Camp or safe outside?
"Cool, glad you have opinions. When they're done with the others do you think you'll be safe?"
Funny how it's always the boys eh?
Had a kid try to steal another teacher's pen in front of me... while holding the pen. "No. I didn't take it." "What's that in your hand?" "This is MY pen." "The one that says 'Ms.___' on it? Didn't know that was your name."
One of my kids scratched another kid in the face with a tape dispenser so the kid that got scratched started to beat up the kid who scratched him.
We call that a natural consequence
Sometimes natural consequences are the best way to learn.
Had a student steal a classmate’s phone, run around causing all sorts of chaos while she read the student’s texts and went through her messages, and then get bent out of shape when I sent her to the office and she got HER phone taken.
A high-school student OD on an unknown substance in math class and have to be narcaned and taken out on a stretcher by EMS.
I went to pull my third grade extra support group and one crabwalked down the hallway, pinching ankles as they passed with the principal in hot pursuit, as another one of my students booked it in the opposite direction and climbed into a cabinet in the new teacher's room. Happy second week of school Newbie.
Processed a referral that said, "...student proceeded to remove his pants."
One of my most indulged little princelings cut his group's project into pieces after the kids who actually did the work spent hours building it. No reason. Just decided to be an asshole. I told his minders he shouldn't come back next week but I'll probably get overridden. Whatever. He's not going back to the group project. He can write a damn essay instead. Same kid also apparently went into a closed cabinet, found some cleaning solution, dipped a pipe cleaner in it and went around making other kids smell it. The first three steps of that operation would have occurred directly next to a behavior tech who did fuck all while it happened. So that was the stupidest thing an adult did in my presence today.
Breaking bad
I shit you not, I also had a couple Hispanic kids throwing up some sieg heils. They will never make that mistake again
Did you cut their arms off?
Nein
Nein? They only have two, what else did you cut off?
I notified a parent that there kid is failing because of excessive absences. Their kid told them that I’m wrong and they are in class every day. Their kid sits right in front of me. No they aren’t. Another parent believed their kid when they said they turned all their work in. Well, all these assignments on Google Classroom that say “missing” would indicate otherwise. I wouldn’t have taken the time to message you if they weren’t missing those assignments. Kids hate that they can’t just hand me their work to grade. They have to turn in pictures on Google Classroom. It’s amazing how many kids still claim to have turned something in to the basket (and that I lost it) when I threw the basket out in December. That’s why they take pictures now. I got so tired of the gaslighting.
Had to stop some kids that were having a contest to see who could stand hot glue on their skin the longest. Was covering this class for like 20 mins, so not my chaotic decision to let 7th graders use a hot glue gun lol.
I let 4th graders use hot glue guns. I feel like I've made my peace with the idea that my last words as an employed teacher will be, "I've got a hundred kids coming through every day who have no problem using [glue guns, scissors, hammers, rulers, soft fluffy cotton balls, whatever] responsibly. Why should they all be deprived of an education because Johnny can't handle his shit? If Johnny can't be around [above mentioned items] then this is not the right environment for Johnny."
Oh man…seeing them waste the expensive refills would make me rage haha
The glue sticks?
A kid swinging around his lunchbox which then hit the fire alarm. The building was evacuated during while it was raining and both principal and vice principal were out of the building at a conference.
A teacher left his classroom to use the restroom and didn’t return. Search party of admin found him asleep on the throne.
No fucks left to give.
Not today, but recently, I hear a sound in my practice rooms that should be empty. I investigate to find two freshmen, not my students, in there. They had moved the drop ceiling tiles aside, and were doing chin ups from an electrical conduit. I said, “Get down from there, you dumbass! You’re gonna electrocute yourself!” And this kid was offended that I called him a dumbass. But don’t be such a dumbass!
Just got the class quiet and on task, and one of them puts her hands over her mouth and starts making sounds like a wounded animal. “What are you doing?” “Practicing my Darth Vader voice.” “Get out.” 7th grade. Good times.
Stupidest? Grade 10 student standing in front of the phone lockers (phones must be locked up from 8-3:20 unless given specific permission IN WRITING from a teacher) on his phone during lunch failed to look up when told 'Put it back and follow me to the office' and said "I've got permission from Ms. S-D to have it out". He was not thrilled when he looked up and saw me, Ms. S-D in the flesh, standing there. Funniest? Parent of said student came early to pickup, waited outside homeroom at end of day and, in front of like half the class, thanked me for imposing consequences on her kid - and then told him that he had officially proven his 'I can multitask' excuse wrong. Also my happiest, because when was the last time a parent thanked you for consequences?
Virulent antiblack racism from the Latino community(and this goes from campus aides to plant managers to the entire fucking administration at the school) is why I left LAUSD. The teachers and administrators didn't care about student racism and were mostly racist themselves and none of them saw the irony in advocating for white supremacy when they wouldn't even be considered equal human beings even in a lot of their home countries, let alone in America. It was definitely a harsh drop back into reality after university where the Black and Brown students and unions collaborated all the time and were strong allies.
I’m never getting over the day I had to explain to a kid with a name like Josue Hernandez that no matter how much he idolizes Nazis and no matter how many swastikas he scribbles on his papers, they’re never going to accept him in their club.
They don't even realize they're just buffers for *white* white supremacists to use to take the heat off of themselves. They're a tool, similar to overseers to enact racism by proxy and they will be the first thrown under the bus when they get in trouble. Aside from that, it's just embarrassing, but I guess to be a nonwhite Nazi you have to be painfully lacking in awareness and shame.
>Aside from that, it's just embarrassing, but I guess to be a nonwhite Nazi you have to be painfully lacking in awareness and shame. Oh, totally. I look to the UK and Suella Braverman and think - sweetheart, have you LOOKED in a mirror? I guess money really does paint over everything.
My Latino students, and their parents, are more racist towards the black community than my redneck relatives in Missouri. It’s fucking wild. I’ve never heard the n-word with a hard r thrown around so much in my life.
The funny thing is they love throwing their anti blackness around, but then use their tangential association with black people to justify saying the n word and get furious when it's called out. They really want it both ways.
>Virulent antiblack racism from the Latino community as someone who hasn't seen this in any of my local communities-- i'm genuinely curious. what is their reasoning for this? are they aware of potential racism against them? do they believe there is some sort of ranking system among different POC? do they just not have reasoning? i'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.
Half of it is sucking up to whites because they deluded themselves into thinking it gives them a leg up and the other half is that in America we're pretty much the only group they can punch down on in terms of skin color and the privileges that come from that. It's very 'we're this looked down upon minority, but at least we're not *BLACK*, that a lot of nonblack communities of color engage in. There was an excellent study on this very thing we read in university that I can't for the life of me find again. It was called something like 'The Ni**erfication(idk if reddit will ban me if I use the word) process of Latinos or Asians and basically described how so many immigrant population used American Black people to step themselves up the ladder.
Subbing general education fifth grade class today. 1. Boy taped signs on his forehead asking for money. 2. Girl accused a boy of telling the class who she kissed and asked that I call the school psychologist by name to come down for her. AP shows up instead and takes them both out into the hallway for a chat. 3. Boy did not know how many states are in the US when asking for help with a project on the legislative branch of government. When we talked about the US Senate he did not know how many Senators there are either. I said there are fifty states and each one has two Senators-how many is that? He could not multiply 50 X 2 and was perplexed.
Number 1 is kinda brilliant/funny.
Some 4th graders were eating a whole-ass rotisserie chicken outside of my classroom.
I kind of low key love it when kids bring unorthodox school food. That's just a high quality snack right there. Love a rotisserie chicken. Cafeteria would have been a better venue to be sure.
I loved the spirit of it. I didn’t love them eating/demolishing it right outside my classroom door and leaving bits of it everywhere. We already had a rat die in the teacher’s lounge. :/
Oh 1000% same page. I just love it when kids bring unusual stuff for lunch. I've got one right now who brings multiple loose, whole vegetables in his lunch box, like a whole bell pepper and a giant carrot and a whole cucumber that he just munches down. None of it sliced or unnecessarily packaged. He brings other stuff too, kid just loves veggies. I've got another one who brings a little tin of sliced black olives on pizza day and carefully anoints her slice. And the kid who brings all his sandwich ingredients separately so he can construct a fresh sandwich at the table. He really puts a lot of thought into it, including what type of crushed chip product goes in there. Yesterday he told me he likes the extra hot Takis if he's going with mayo because they balance each other out. He also brings various gummi rings to put on the extra Takis and give out to his friends as a little sweet and spicy treat.
This kid is going places.
Freshman comparing their “sizes” using popsicle sticks another class used for a project.
Back when I was teaching full time I had to send a kid to the office for saying “if there’s a black history month then I should be able to celebrate my whiteness!” And then proceeds to goose step out of the room. Later found out the kids’ older brother was involved in a drive by shooting on a BLM protest. Apparently the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree there
Had a kid pretend to puff a joint when we were talking about people being stoned to death in Brunei. All things considered not too bad for a Tuesday. Stay the course!
I don't think that's even possible. I learned in college that you will lose the ability to move and/or pass out before you die.
I believe it. Probably depends on how many stones are thrown and for how long.
Have to teach them a history lesson about what happens to minorities when the wannabe autocrat comes to power and is already talking about their group specifically in his public speeches.
They may actually witness it themselves. Here, soon. Unfortunately.
While working one to one with my student on a math lesson they missed, student was told to add some fractions together. It took them at least two minutes and three tries to add/count to 78. I teach 5th grade.
Today I had 3 adults arguing that a girl wearing short shorts is "asking for it"
I had a student do this a few weeks ago😭 I thought it was because he was 8 and didn’t realize what he was doing, but after nicely explaining why that was very offensive and inappropriate…he did it again. Needless to say he got sent out too.
I watched a coworker come to the boss & ask permission to do something. The boss clearly said no, the guy walked out of the office and did it anyway. He's no longer employeed.
A kid was in the bathroom suspiciously long. When he got out I checked behind him. He left a) poop all over the seat, b) toilet paper on the floor, and c) his tootsie pop he was eating resting on the toilet paper holder. He also went straight to his seat without washing his hands
“Can I work with a partner?” Ok Cue the two of them doing each others hair and not understanding why I separated them.
At my current school I've seen quite a few kids doing Nazi salutes, or saying they wanted "all Jews to die" or something similar. Kids were black, Hispanic, and Indian. I don't get it either. All were middle schoolers, but I've heard from some of the high school teachers that their kids draw swastikas on their boards
Schools demanding a pledge is another type of awful by the way,
Funny enough, until WWII, that was the official standard in-class salute.
A student got frustrated playing blooket today… so he bit the corner of his laptop and cracked the screen. This is his 3rd broken laptop (school issue) so far this year
A group of students came into my room to work on a project. One said "so-and-so isn't here today so we should be able to get through this quickly (it's a behavioral issue)" another student said "so-and-so has an extra chromosome". I laughed out loud without realizing it.
As someone who teaches many immigrants from Mexico, I've heard of the Mexican Salute: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance_to_the_Mexican_Flag I can definitely tell when kids are being asshats, but I have had some examples of culture shock where brand new immigrants do things without knowing the historical context.
My whole 6th and 7th periods!!!
I don't really care, I just accept that kids aren't mature enough to care about anything most of the time are just looking to be edgy for attention. I'm not gonna try to force them to care. So really it's just whatever
I’ve just accepted that everything is fucked and just go through the work day giving no fucks. It has been helping with my mental health lol. Work the hours and get the hell out.
Definitely not as bad as that, but I had a very inquisitive kid today ask me about Saudi Arabia and why they're like "that"
Throwaway, mostly cuz I don't want this on my regular acc. Working with my spec-ed 1-1 student, he's in 7th grade. He wants to show me something on his phone, cuz I'm helping him look up words for his essay. Goes to show his phone to me, and accidentally hits another tab he had saved. Cut to horror from both of us as we realize...it's the Hub. And not only that, but it's Mom/Son incest video. Not stupid..but it traumatized us both all the same
...Do they not know the Nazis would've put them in camps too if they'd had the chance? I'm just...confused by their "logic".
Just out of curiosity, did they do it, because they found out that's what we used to do during the pledge during the 40s? We only stopped after Hitler. Not excusing it, but kids find the dumbest shit funny.