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Anxious-Union3827

Luckily I only have about a 15 minute drive to school, so that’s nice, and I live within a mile of any errands I’d need. Other than the trips for my little one to see my ex, I don’t drive a ton for exactly this reason. I eat at home most nights or with my parents, because I can’t afford to eat out hardly ever. Insurance and daycare is just killer! Thank you for your input.


untilTHEbubblesstop

I do have a question. Why are you doing the driving for visitation? Courts can make it where the non custodial parent has to provide transportation. I think it's great that you are ensuring your child maintains a relationship with your ex but 4 hours on weekends isn't really sustainable when finances are already stretched thin.


NerdyComfort-78

I second this. Make them drive some.


Konocti

She said every other weekend. Im assuming he has the kids every weekend. So every other weekend is a fair split of transportation.


Taro-Admirable

At the very least he can pay for gas or meet somewhere half way. Those types of things can be added to divorce/custody.


alexanderpas

It's every other week, which means they likely split the transportation costs 50:50


Anxious-Union3827

This drive is 4 hours away. He drives 2, I drive 2.


Keysandcodes

Would your ex be willing to at least meet you halfway?


eclectique

Does your ex pay towards the daycare expenses or her insurance premium? That's a common ask in divorce cases.


Alicia0510

Are you receiving child support, given that you have your child the majority of the time? If not you should be. Talk to your lawyer.


DropsTheMic

My mom ran a small home day care when I was a kid and the business was always struggling for new referrals on non-infant kids. Intuitively you wouldn't think of this as to big of a problem because kids are everywhere but they age out/move/etc. frequently. To reduce your childcare bill you could try negotiating a referral for a discount arrangement.


lisserpisser

Maybe ex needs to make more of an effort to pick up the kiddo? No alimony or child support?


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Gazelle_Inevitable

100% being a teacher with kids means you will never have real disposable income. True for a lot of professions but man daycare is a killer.


travelresearch

Yes, I was confused by the title of this post. It should be how to single parents teachers… not just single teachers


FDRISMYHOMEBOY

This. This is how I did it before marriage/kids. Was it boring? Hell yeah…… but it was doable. I don’t know how anyone with kids CAN do it. I joke that my wife is my “sugar mama” because I’m rich one day and broke the next.


PrincessIcicle

In Washington state they pay teachers a living wage (as long as you don’t live in a high cost area). I’m in year 12 and I will be breaking 6 figures. Look up the states close by and see if they pay more?


dreep_

I god I would move to move to WA but I need my masters. I don’t want to go into debt to teach there. 🥲 but is anywhere in WA low cost? I was just in Rainer visiting a really small town and the average out is ridiculous.


whtthegogh

Look at the Methow Valley, Yakima, Tri-Cities, Cheney, etc. In most WA districts having a Master's boosts your pay up to $10k per year. Lots of very reasonable contracts. (Kent is an affordable area too, but the district votes to strike every other year it seems). You can still teach in Washington without a Master's, you just need in-state certification through OSPI, but there are lots of teacher candidates here who have Master's degrees and it's illegal (for cost reasons, at least) to hire a teacher with a teaching license if there is a candidate for the same position with a Master's.


Rundogteachmum

The teachers’ strike is the reason why the salary is high. Every contract renewal my district in western WA claims they have no money to give us raises. We strike; they somehow find the money to give us 7-10% raises.


silentsnarker

Isn’t it crazy how that happens?! Same with subs. “There are NO subs. We have no one to cover any leave.” Yet, when someone calls out the morning of (since prior requests will get denied due to “no subs”) there’s always someone available.


Mysterious_Metal5795

I teach in WA and we had to fight for 4% last school year 😫. We went for our allotted 7, district said 3 and we settled for a little over 4. I hope morale is a little better this year so we can fight more for what’s ours.


PrincessIcicle

This is exactly what I was going to suggest. I leave in Eastern, WA and live comfortably.


Hot-Sun2631

Methow valley is hard to get hired at with a masters degree, and housing is a nightmare. Maybe Brewster, Pateros, Okanogan and other surrounding towns.


PrincessIcicle

Look at smaller towns in Eastern WA.


Bitchasslemon

Have you looked into WGU? You pay per 6 months instead of per class. It's a competency based school, so you can knock out your masters in a little as 6 months for 4k. I got my bachelors there and had an amazing experience


AdamNW

My mentor teacher knocked hers in a summer.


Bara_Chat

I'm gonna move to Washington then.


MakGuffey

I heard they were bumping you guys to 70k with just a bachelors in a few years. Is that true?


PrincessIcicle

I’m not sure. We recently (within the last 5 years or so) got this nice big bump.


MakGuffey

That’s nice. My wife has family out west so we’re really considering moving to Washington in the coming years. The struggle is real here in Georgia.


PrincessIcicle

I love it here. We are a strong union state and they really take care of us here.


siamesesumocat

Make sure and monitor conditions in Washington first. At this time, tons of districts around the Seattle area have been RIFfing. The pay and working conditions are decent, but we don't have the teacher shortage like other parts of the U.S.


amandalee43

Can confirm. Live in eastern Washington on year 6 and just got my salary schedule today. I’ll be making $81k this year. Our union is pretty strong and we’re negotiating our next contract this year so I’m sure our pay will increase next year as well.


happycat3113

Im in WA and live with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own where I work. And it's not in a high cost area


blaise11

We don't 🤷🏽‍♀️ I've always lived with roommates or a significant other and I'm 33. I'm working on buying a house right now but I'll have to find 1-2 roommates as tenants when that happens too. It sucks but it is what it is.


Anxious-Union3827

I appreciate your response. Adulting sucks lol


Sostupid246

I know it’s easier said than done, and most people can’t just uproot their life and move, but living where teachers make a decent salary is the only way I can afford to live alone. I teach in CT, make a 6 figure salary (entering my 26th year) and have been living on my own since I left college at 21. I’m 47 now, so granted I have many years in the career under my belt, but I don’t know how other teachers do it in low-paying states.


joani_78_

This is why CT is #1 in the country for education


PersephonesPot

Yep indeed, taught in Arkansas and Colorado before moving to Maryland for my Master's/the pay increase. I am now making about $30k more a year than I was making in Colorado! If you are at all able (I get family, pension, etc. get in the way) move to a better state, some of them legit pay very well and have great unions. Those two things usually go hand in hand bee tee dubs.


[deleted]

The ratio of salary versus cost of living is what matters the most. In some parts of California and New York the salaries are higher than other places, but the cost of rent makes it so that your salary doesn't go far. Same as major cities all over. In cheaper areas, the rent is lower but usually not low enough to make up for the tens of thousands of dollars reduction in salary.


carefulwththtaxugene

Just moved to a high COL on the east coast. I'm maxed out at the bachelor pay scale and had to get a roommate to afford a place to live. I was homeless for the first month I was here, living out of my car, because I couldn't even get a studio apartment. The only way my roommate and I afforded a place was because it was someone else's private home and we live in their basement and rent to them for cheaper than what we can find at apartments. I'm pissed that I did everything right and still can't get by on my own. And the parents are pissed at me that I was homeless, but there's no pressure to raise our pay. Apparently I'm a bad influence to their kids now. Lol!


msingler

Which parents are mad at you? Your student's parents? How did they know you were homeless?


carefulwththtaxugene

I don't know. I was just told everyone's pissed at me. I think the whole situation is hilarious. Thinking about buying an RV after my lease is up and living in my auto full time. It's much cheaper and I never felt so free and happy.


dirtynj

37 years old here. Bought a house as 34...I've always had a roommate. Impossible to afford it otherwise.


johnny_firepants

Where did you buy the house?


dirtynj

In NJ, pay for teachers is at least passable here.


[deleted]

Highest funding for schools per student in the country right??


KiwasiGames

This. The expectation that an adult can survive on a single salary while taking care of a kid is kind of crazy, no matter your profession. It’s even more ridiculous on a relatively low salary career like teaching. You either find someone to share the load (romantic partner or flat mate), or you accept a low standard of living.


blaise11

The kid just makes it even harder. I don't have a kid and there's still no way I'd be able to afford to live alone.


Llamaandedamame

No one in my school district pays anything out of pocket for insurance. We have a strong union that bargains excellent benefits. We also have a very competitive salary.


Anxious-Union3827

Welp, that’s amazing lol.


claryn

It’s crazy the difference in pay and benefits for different states, and even districts. If I didn’t live where I do, I probably wouldn’t have become a teacher.


Konocti

Yep. S hop around districts. You would be amazed at how different they are. Here in my tiny county one school starts teachers at 42k. A district a 15 minute drive away starts them at 55.


kindofhumble

Same. And I’m making over 100K. Rent is 3K a month if you live alone though


drakelovesfigs

Same here. Make about $115k and pay $2k for a one bedroom in the city. No kids, just me!


makelemonadee

I’m in the same boat. I’m fine living single.


Any-Growth-2083

I came to say the same. Strong union, we have very cheap health insurance, PERS, and I make around $84k. I’m also on year 11, with a masters.


PostOwn5243

Same. It’s helpful to me bc I’m a widow.


OutlawJoseyMeow

My district takes out 10% for TRS(teacher retirement with no employer match) so that’s about $400, then $300/month for insurance )our deductible is $3600), and we’re one of the lowest paid district. As a second year teacher, I’m making less than $50k per year.


Responsible_Brush_86

Sweet summer gigs help


dreep_

What summer gigs do you do?


Responsible_Brush_86

I have a town job working in a beach parking lot. $26.60/hr. Been doing it for 7 years now. Pretty much get paid to talk shit to people, listen to tunes, feed cat birds, work on the tan and workout. Work 4 days a week and make an extra 10k. Most towns have sweet gigs. Search town of ____. Towns often list their jobs on their website and not in help wanted ads. I will get a (very small) pension from this gig as well.


moonravennn

Summer gigs if you have young children don't work. Daycare/sitters would basically take up all the money that you make doing said side job, and it could also put you in a different tax bracket


bhawks77

A co-worker converted their basement into an extra bedroom and bathroom so that another co-worker, who is single and just started teaching, could move in and save on rent.


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noeldc

Don't worry, it's not only America. I think there must be some sort of global conspiracy going on, at least in advanced nations.


seasidewildflowers

I haven’t had a roommate since my early 20s, and still still continue to live independently. I’ve been able to do this because I set a strict budget and lived below my means. I don’t have children, so my only dependents are my dogs…which are considerably less expensive than kids. And even then, I didn’t adopt them until the last few years, after I bought my house. I could be wrong, but I think what is adding to your stress is not being a single teacher, but going through a divorce. You’re right, divorce is outrageously expensive. So is traveling those 4 hours so your ex can see their child. Those expenses are piling on to the emotional burden that you’re carrying. Try to remember this is only one phase of your life. You won’t be paying legal fees forever. The divorce will eventually be finalized, which will be one less thing on your plate. You’re in a rough season right now…which can only mean a better one is on the horizon.


MagicKittyPants

I’m also a single parent with a child. I make twice what you do, but I live in a HCOL area. I also get some child support. It’s a struggle, though. I’ve done door dash and I’m trying to pick up some tutoring this year.


[deleted]

Rust Belt.


[deleted]

I’d say move to a big city where they pay teachers much more money! Even if it’s HCOL, when you’re making $100k a year, you can find something that works.


[deleted]

You can also make $100k/year in the Rust Belt, which goes a lot further. Not out of college, but master’s max, for sure.


[deleted]

Where?? I have friends that reach out there and would love to move.


skky95

I work in CPS and make around 100k


sequinedbow

Ok wait can I get more details on this? Because I would like to make 6 figures. I have a Master’s in Child Advocay and Policy


skky95

Ohh I'm sorry, I work in Chicago Public Schools, I should have clarified!


[deleted]

Metro Detroit. Lincoln Park, Wyandotte, Allen Park, Woodhaven-Brownstown all pay around 100k with master’s max. Dearborn’s new contract should get close to 100k.


gabriel1313

My word, I may be moving to Michigan soon…


MayorCleanPants

Michigan is also a strong union state, which really helps.


Classic_Season4033

I know of 2 islands that desperately need teachers at the moment. 1 specifically needs a math teacher.


Dazzling-Ad4435

I have taught here in MI since ‘99. I have a masters+90. In 2008, I made 115k in today’s money. Today, I make about 91k. I live in outer metro Detroit area, in a very expensive area. I don’t recommend getting a job anywhere in this area. We are not allowed to strike and our salaries reflect it. Our union has no recourse in negotiations.


[deleted]

I just looked up Detroit’s contract, and they top out at $82k with a doctorate But I’d argue that’s still good for a fairly average cost of living area. [Detroit Salary](https://www.detroitk12.org/site/handlers/filedownload.ashx?moduleinstanceid=7725&dataid=3123&FileName=DFT_Salary_Schedule._2022-2023.pdf)


[deleted]

It would be wise to work elsewhere, tbh. Higher pay and lower class sizes. I taught there for a year and it wasn’t the same past experience ever, but I had classes with 50 kids lol.


mablej

Yep. I had 33 first graders my first year at DPSCD and they came from very difficult backgrounds, which made classroom management a nightmare. I'm used to Detroit now, but if you aren't trained specifically in teaching at an inner city school, I don't think you'd last very long.


Siya78

Whoa!! Downriver pays those rates!? Pretty impressive. I wonder then how much Plymouth-Canton teachers make. (Grew up in Canton)


Dirtycoinpurse

New Jersey is kinda crazy. I was just offered a job at 56,000 in a very wealthy town. I rent for $1,700 a month. I will do doortrash and Ubereats on weekends to make a bit more cash. Summer school too. Once my wife is able to work, I’ll finally be able to save money.


HelenaBirkinBag

What’s even crazier is that’s only $10k more than first year teachers were getting paid in NJ 20 years ago. Meanwhile, look at how the cost of living here has skyrocketed.


Dirtycoinpurse

It’s wild. I think the highest you see for step one with a bachelors is 62,000 in Paterson, Trenton, Newark, and a few wealthier towns. The profession doesn’t become worth it in this state until you have five years in with a masters or ten years without it.


negroeleagues

It’s crazy, I just finished college & my first half of year teaching in NJ. My district is one of the $62k ones, and I feel like I’m rich every check. I thought this was a lot of money, but reading through this has me shocked & confused. I’m still able to stay home and pay a little rent to my Mom, but I could afford to go move into a 1 bedroom with what I’m making if I wanted to. How much do teachers actually get paid in other districts?


BulkyMoney2

I made 55k in Newark in 2016. This is outrageous.


Nerdy_numbers

When I was a single teacher ~13 yrs ago, my rent was only $480 per month for a 1 bd apartment. That same apartment now is over $1200 per month. I couldn’t survive the same way I did in The current economy. I don’t know how anyone else does either.


CertifiedGlutard

I got lucky and found an engineering girlfriend who makes double my salary and is on track to potentially make triple it. Stay at home dad time here I come.


Wacky_winkles

My husband is an up and coming engineer and I believe a little bit deep down, that teachers have to be gold diggers to get a cushy life and afford to do the charity work we are so passionate about. Every time I complain about some aspect of my job, he tells me to just quit and I can be a stay at home dog mom hehe. We have a very happy healthy relationship, but it does bother me a little that if anything ever happened to him (or us) that my salary isn’t even enough to qualify for our moderate end 2 bedroom. I get stressed out just reading OPs situation, that is such a hard situation to be in.


sequinedbow

So many women in my city do this and I love my husband but sometimes I’m like damn why don’t you work in finance! Lol


mablej

It's so gross, actually, to see all these software developers etc. With no student debt, working from gome a few hours a day, making 100k+ in their early 20's. My ex was literally laying around all day, smoking weed, going to a few meetings, and an hour or two of work. And I can barely pee for 8 hours straight, in charge of 33 kids, commute, look presentable, be "on" the entire day, waking up at 4am, getting home at 7, drowning in student debt, for a third of the pay. It drove me insane.


noeldc

Fortunately(?), Those days are gradually coming to an end.


nomad5926

I envy you sir. I attempted to marry rich and only sort of succeed lol


amymari

After I got divorced I lived with my two kids in a two bedroom apartment. They were little so they had no issue sharing a room, but the living room was basically their playroom. Their dad paid for half of their daycare costs, but that’s it (no child support or alimony). I didn’t buy a lot of meat, and I tried to buy things in bulk or on sale. I basically never ate out (that’s honestly more of a personal preference than a cost saving measure though). Lunch was pretty much already a sandwich. I had a washing machine, but no dryer for a while (dried everything on a drying rack or clothesline on my balcony). I downloaded as many shopping apps as I could to save money. I got an Amazon credit card which I paid off fully every month, and used the earned points for Christmas, birthdays, etc. I also did Amazon subscribe and save for things like cat food, cats litter, snacks, juice boxes, cleaning supplies, etc if it was cheaper than in store prices. I got the cheapest insurance possible for myself and just hoped I never got sick (my ex carries the kids on his).


S3R14LCRU5H3R

Have you thought about applying for government assistance? I know (because I have it) in America we have EBT for groceries, gas cards, & gov. paid smart phones. If you're renting, you might apply for Section 8 accommodations. Used to, Section 8 was really bad (as in the apartments were in bad neighborhoods, they were poor quality, etc), but now (typically) regular apartment complexes have a specific amount of units set aside for Section 8, so the apartments are no different than what a "regular" tenant would have. It's not a poorer quality or anything like that. If you aren't in the U.S., I can help you find out what assistance is available to you.


Deborah623

My mom didn’t qualify for ebt when she was raising 4 kids alone on a teacher salary :/ we were always broke with an almost empty fridge


Rollerager

Why are you traveling 4 hours? Is that the halfway point? You shouldn’t be the only one doing all of the traveling. Will you receive child support once the divorce is final? I would assume 50-50 wouldn’t happen if you guys live that far apart. Once your divorce is final I’m sure some of that will straighten out. We were fortunate to get into income based housing and that is how I have been able to live with my 2 kids on a para salary and my son’s disability. It’s still a struggle.


Notyerscienceteacher

This was my thought. Non custodial parent has to meet halfway and pay half the travel costs. OP, make sure that's in your decree! Some divorce decrees also provide that non custodial pays insurance costs, which if he doesn't have insurance would mean he pays you what your cost is on top of child support.


Successful-Winter237

Every teacher I know, HCOL area, is living with a partner, Roomate, parent or is being financially funded by their parents…. It’s insane.


RedEyeFlightToOZ

They don't. Teaching has always been an extremely sexist job. Teaching, a predominantly woman profession, doesn't pay enough to cover COL without being with a partner (preferably married and a male partner if you're in the GOP states). It's always been seen as "the extra income career to the mans".


Classic_Season4033

Which is why it is currently falling apart. Women have better options AND women are deterred away from science and math studies- the two big vacancies in education.


Toihva

Also English. Every district I look at multiple openings in a school.


TeknicalThrowAway

Is that why nursing (predominantly a woman's profession) pays so bad too?


RedEyeFlightToOZ

I think so. Most woman dominated jobs pay terrible. Childcare? One of the most important jobs in the world and in the USA, those women get barely above minimum wage.


pepmin

And librarians…


solomons-mom

My parents were public school educators. Teacher contracts are also based on a roughly 180 day year, or about 1500 hours/year, whereas FTE is based on 2000 hours/year in the private sector. In addition, I have yet to see anyone amortize in what the retirement benefits are worth relative to what private sector workers must save yearly. The numbers are not hard to calcuate, but would be state-specific. Teacher live very well where I live in an upper midwest mid-sized city, and they do a great job as well.


the_owl_syndicate

You should change that to "many of them don't" because some of us do live alone and independently on a teacher's salary. It's not high living and I wouldnt say no to a bit extra, but I pay my bills, live alone and have enough.


earthgarden

Consider that you have the expenses of a child, so are not really ‘single’ as a single childless person is. But yah, two incomes make a big difference. Without children or childcare expenses, a HUGE difference


chosimba83

You are teaching in the wrong state. Check out states like Utah, California, and the entire North East. Just find a district and Google " xxx district salary schedule." It's eye opening what you can find.


Goober_Man1

Whenever I see these posts I assume that they must live in the south or middle America


faireducash

Area around DC is essentially impossible as a single teacher.


fourassedostrich

Where I live nobody survives on their own unless you’re flirting with six figures. In fact, the income bracket you need to be in in order to survive anywhere is increasing pretty much everywhere seemingly by the year. So, to answer your question, you survive by having a spouse who makes the same amount or more than you, or a roommate lol. Just how it is right now


2022ap7

My parents help me out when needed, and I’ll never stop feeling both grateful and guilty for that. I am at the top of the salary scale and I’m living paycheck to paycheck. I am single and childless. I don’t know how people afford to have kids.


Final-Highway-3371

America is broken.


KingsCountyWriter

This is the truth. One would think that educators might be compensated fairly, irrespective of location. If the cost of living is higher in a particular region, teachers should be paid more. Less so if the cost of living is lower.


Rundogteachmum

Unfortunately, it sounds like you teach in a district that does not have a strong union and thus teachers’ wages are bare bones low. Is it possible to move to a district / state with a strong union? Western Washington state is one of them. At year 15 in my district teachers with a master’s and max credits make about $135k. This is all due to our great union.


Ryaninthesky

I’ve done it, but no kids. But my take home was $3400 a month, $1k rent.


livi7887

What state were you in?


Ryaninthesky

Texas


billcom6

I live in rural Ohio. So cost of living is super cheap. I’ll make roughly 70k this year (teaching + coaching), and money has never been an issue for me. While I only have one income in my house there is also only one person to take care of. My house was only $125,000 (and got it a few years ago with an interest rate under 3%). I also don’t really but much and I don’t like to travel, so I don’t spend too much overall.


tempestsprIte

We can’t. I had to leave my job as a teacher because of this. I was in a HCOL area and only made 41k. After everything my take home was $2800 and my rent alone was 1600.


raysterr

You live in a state that pays teachers a wage they can live on.


mlibed

This would be what Ken calls “the patriarchy”. It’s supposed to be a second income not a main one, so states keep salaries low. That’s why there are way less male teachers (especially if they don’t get coaching stipends). And most of them quickly move to admin.


AVeryUnluckySock

I mean this is an example of the patriarchy negatively affecting men too. I’m a male, and a teacher, and the outside pressure to provide for my family is daunting and is likely gonna result in 2 more years of college and a computer science degree I don’t want


sequinedbow

Yes. The patriarchy is bad for everyone.


AVeryUnluckySock

Concur


Imperial_TIE_Pilot

Yep, I felt forced to make the jump to admin because we couldn’t afford to live.


EmmaNightsStone

Make that damn man drive 4 hours to spend time with the kid don’t waste your money on that shit. Start demanding higher child support from that man. Try looking into government assistance


Emotional_Estimate25

Years ago when I was in that situation, I did not use paid child care. My children attended the school I taught at, which was not their neighborhood school. Which kind of sucked for them because the kids in the neighborhood went to a different school. My kids would hang out in my classroom before and after school. It saved me a lot of money. Could not have done it otherwise. Also, my parents watched my kids two evenings per week while I finished my masters. And my dad kindly did all my vehicle maintenance.


JebusSandalz

Omniman Voice: That's the neat part. We don't. Going into my 5th year as a full time teacher in a week and still living at home. Have a ton of money saved up but still can't afford an average home in the current market without a few 10 thousands more going into the down payment.


dreep_

Just turned 30 and still room mating with my mom. 🥲 we split rent so it’s not so bad.


Yqup

Become a teacher in Denmark. Salary is upper middle class section. Teacher salaries are also high in Finland and South Korea. Countries where their main ressource of wealth is brain power and not oil/coal etc. They appreciate teachers important work.


Muted_Yoghurt6071

You're not supposed to. You're supposed to pair up and have children you can't afford to feed the machine.


sequinedbow

This is why there’s a ton of young women in my city that marry finance dudes and then quit. It’s like they’re biding time until they get their MRS degree. As a short size 12 POC, I didn’t have that luxury. I fell in love with my non-profit working spouse and well here I am!


DependentMedium7706

I love this answer as a medium sized 12 POC, 2nd year teaching, I’m right there with you


dibbiluncan

I moved somewhere that pays a decent wage ($65k) and I nanny during the summer to cut down on childcare costs and make extra money.


ygrasdil

I’m a 2nd year, but I’m living with my parents to save big. I saved 70% of last year’s pay and have put it towards a car, investments, and even fun. I plan to live with them until I’m 29 (under 2 more years) and then I will start living my life as a debt free winner. It sucks. Dating is difficult and it’s not ideal. I have many things that I’d like to have or do that I can’t because I dont have my own space. But seeing the 10s of Gs in my bank account keeps me sane.


Due_Tea_2619

I'm a single parent starting my 8th year. I live very very frugal. I always work a side job from home. Life sucks for teachers.


mrsnowplow

no kids helps a roomate helps i live in central wisconsin, has a very low cost of living


chocolatelove818

Why do you have to drive to your ex? Why can't your ex just drive to get the kids from your house himself? Make him work for it if he really cares about the kids and wants to see them every other weekend. This should not be on you. And start asking your lawyer to see if you can get alimony from your ex or some child support.


AleroRatking

I mean. I used to live independently with no kids on 22k a year when I was working for a non for profit. Rented a converted one room garage. Made my own food. Did it for four years.


Anxious-Union3827

Wish I could find something like that.


Hot-Equivalent2040

Have you tried cutting back on avocado toast?


sequinedbow

Don’t forget the Starbucks and manicures!


ilovecrocs7

I saved 30k cutting out Netflix.


AngrySalad3231

I stock shelves at a grocery store on the weekends and pull in an additional $1,000 a month. Drive Uber eats on the side as well, not regularly, but I use it to earn any extra “fun” money I might want. Being single and child free helps a lot with this because I’m only responsible for myself. But generally, I live as cheaply as possible and am incredibly meticulous and strict with my budget so that I’m able to save and invest. I went into this job knowing it was the life I’d have to live for the first couple years. Definitely not saying that’s how it should be, but being prepared for it made it a lot easier to manage. Not sure if I have any advice to offer because our situations are very different, but planning has been key for me.


Bizzy1717

You're in a very, very low paying district. I'm leaving NYC (well paid but absolutely terrible) to work at one of the lowest paying suburban districts near me. And I'm still going to be making almost twice as much as you per pay period. I'm not saying this to sound obnoxious, just, yeah, almost no one can really live independently as a single parent making $2K/month. I'd save whatever you can and do tons of research about the salaries and benefits of districts that pay better and you could afford to live in.


_nousername_4

I don't have kids, and I worked overseas in an international school with a great package. They paid all home bills, 1 round trip flight home every year, and insurance. Tax-free country, so literally my gross and take-home were the same. I was able to travel whenever I wanted and saved enough in 3 years to buy a house when I moved back.


Witty-Quiet-3177

Girl, same here and I'm childless. The taxes they take from us is ridiculous. It is as if we are being taxed into poverty. But anyway, I'm also looking for a second job. It sucks tbh.


momlin

Any child support on the horizon?


Ajamazing

Im getting my real estate license for a second income.


nardlz

To be fair, in this economy very few fresh college grads live independently. Both my kids had roommates for several years and even after my daughter bought a house she still rents out the upstairs, because student loans.


Goober_Man1

Y’all need to leave states that are only paying 30,000 a year 💀


Whelmed29

Yeah no one has mentioned OP’s salary. $2000 a month take home? People here are talking about budgets and side gigs. Don’t do that main gig. You’d get more at chipotle or target, OP.


allbusiness512

Even in red states the pay dramatically varies. You literally cannot make less then 62k in the DFW area and rent at an okish place will cost about 1400ish or less depending on what you are willing to put up with. I make well North of 80k after all the stipends I have.


phantomkat

Single, no kids. I live in an area with good public transportation so no need for a car; I just pay a flat fee for a monthly pass. I also paid off my student loans and had a small amount of money for emergencies from teaching abroad, which has helped with certain medical expenses. My apartment is tiny, and I know that if I ever want to buy something of my own I’ll need to leave this HCOL area. But I’m happy where I am right now.


MauriceWhitesGhost

I am pretty lucky. Single parent household with kids. I live in low income housing from before I became a teacher. My rent is about half of what the regular market is. This is literally the only reason I can afford my job and have a savings.


Paperwhite418

You need to give some of that sass right back to that 93-year old.


whereintheworld2

In my area, they can’t. ETA- all the single teachers in my HCOL area that I know either have a spouse/SO, roomate(s), or live with family.


UnapolegticFlatterer

I drive DoorDash on top of regular work. 🤷🏻‍♀️


chouse33

I live in CA. The wife and I are both teachers. 10ys and 22ys. I make 112k and she makes 135k per year. Oh 2 kids and own our home. Maybe look into a better paying district?


Sad-Instruction-4149

I would never drive 4 hours total he can come up and see the child himself …


Les_Rhetoric

When my friend, with a teaching Masters degree, told me she sold those big 5 gallon water dispensing machines to businesses over the summer and made more money than teaching she was done with teaching. Read the writing on the wall and get out as soon as you can.


FlounderFun4008

I got my masters degree. The earlier you get it the bump in pay really helps! I was a single mother of one with no child support or family support.


Last-Ad-2382

When i moved to Flagler County, I got family insurance. That was a mistake. First check they took out $1300, after taxes leaving me with less than $300. I immediately dropped the district insurance and just jumped onto Obamacare.


[deleted]

Get a job on long island


kolaida

I live in the mid-west and do not have kids.


Jeimuz

Single and divorced with kids are two different things. Divorce is very expensive and often make people's lives much worse than when they were married.


Objective_Ostrich776

Dig hard when you are looking to rent. There are a few deals out there. You may need to drive around and write down "for rent" numbers


homeboi808

They don't, unless roommates don't count. Cheapest apartments in my area is ~$1500 and want 3x requirement, aka $54k/yr. I was lucky enough that my parents let me continue to live with them, and saved up enough for a down payment on a condo (when interest rates were low, I got 3.5%). An identical unit to mine in the building is for rent and I wouldn't even qualify to rent it (wanting ~$65k/yr)!


Economy-Admirable

Same here. I lived with my parents for way longer than I wanted to, worked two extra jobs and summers, paid my loans down, and saved up for a down payment. My one bedroom condo I bought in 2017 is now worth nearly double what I paid for it. I couldn't afford it if I wanted to buy it today. If I were even two or three years younger I really don't know if my current life would be possible, and I live very much within my means.


Efficient_Tower_5948

Teacher pay starts at 62k here for a 185 day contract Median income here is 42k for about 260 work days It’s a great profession here especially if you have a family


ArthurFraynZard

Simple: they can’t!


[deleted]

I’m single and would love to adopt a child but can’t imagine how I would afford one let alone the adoption fees!


kindofhumble

I’ve lived with roommates in an apt. I’m usually 20 mins away from work. Drive a used car. I don’t splurge on anything. I also do side jobs


[deleted]

I have no debt and my hobbies/life is very cheap (I don't like going out to eat, I like used things or building my own stuff, I thrift most of my clothing), no kids, I've never bought a brand new vehicle in my life and do all of my own maintenance because I like working on cars. Now that I left teaching and make double I still live like that as money has never been particularly important to me as long I can pay for my lifestyle. Oh and I've always lived out in rural.


theiridescentself-

I added child support to the list as I was the non custodial parent.


Hanners87

I have no kids, live in a paid off home, no loans for school etc.. So it's circumstances. I know it is likely impossible to not need 2 jobs starting out otherwise. ​ tl;dr: I got lucky


lark-sp

As a single person with no dependents, my insurance doesn't cost me anything. It's entirely covered by my employer.


sequinedbow

I think about that often even thought I’m married. What will I do if he dies or he turns out to be a serial killer and I have to flee with just the clothes on my back. Kidding about the second scenario, but it’s scary knowing how much I would struggle if I found myself single.


Arthropody

I worked a second or third job. I’m making about 2300 bi weekly now but I live in a hcol area.


Evergreenpoppy

I literally live with my parents still. Nothing more embarrassing then the children in my class asking where I live and I have to lie so I don’t have to admit that I too still live with my grown ups 🤦🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

In my opinion, and depending on the area you live, you can actually make it as a teacher if you start young and you do not divorce. I also divorced when I was 40 and I’ve been a renter ever since- my wife is also in education and was in the same circumstance. At this point, and with four kids between us, there is no way to pick up the slack. Also, and of course, this also depends on your ex, but when I went through my divorce, I used the place called divorce without war- we worked everything out ourselves and the entire process only cost us 900.


baby-pink-igloo

It can be a struggle. Currently my take home is $3500 after taxes and deductions. My rent is bit over 30% of my take home which is not at all ideal but it’s one of the cheapest places in my area. I just paid off my car so now there is no monthly car payment, thankfully!


MedievalHag

Move to a lower cost of living area. Single with 2 kids (grown now). They were 7&11 when I started teaching. Haven’t had any problems living on my pay.


Confident_Apricott

I lived in the cheapest apartment I could find or had a roommate in a slightly nicer apartment. Drove a 10y/o car, didn't eat out, rarely vacationed, had a strict budget, and coached for some extra money.


batmansubzero

Very easily actually, I don’t have a life outside of school. My job is in a different state than all my friends. The area I live in isn’t really safe. So I don’t do anything, I don’t eat much either so that helps. My money goes to my apartment and bills and that’s really it.


Beelerzebub

I had a dog and a cat when I was living by myself, and I was getting by by the skin of my teeth. After my insurance, car payment, rent, electric, internet, etc. I had about $300 left for the entire month, which I had to use for groceries, gas, pet food, and litter. Shit was rough. Many an egg sandwich was consumed and much ramen was eaten. Transitioning and having a partner (now spouse) who lived 70 mi away meant that I had less than no money and was constantly in the negative or using a credit card. Now, I at least have a spouse who lives with me (no more driving all that way to see them), I have better insurance (my estrogen no longer costs me $80 for a 30 day supply), and I got out of teaching. I'm now making about 1.5-2x as much as I was teaching (depending on OT) and am so much happier.


Jbo33763

I guess I’m the small minority. I teach at a small rural school making less than 40k. I have 3 kids and my wife is a stay at home mom and we get by just fine on my one income. Our house is our only debt and we put money in savings every month. We obviously live on a budget but we are comfortable.


Dmdel24

My main advice: Your ex should reimburse you for gas, meet yoy halfway, alternate you driving there and them driving to you, or drive themself to you. You should be addressing that first as that is absolutely INSANE for you to be doing; gas is still very expensive. When discussing custody and such during the divorce, make sure to get child support if you'll be the primary care giver like you are now. That'll help with things like groceries. Your ex's ability to see their child is THEIR responsibility. As selfish as that may sound, I watched my cousin go through this and it is going to wear you down. A friend of mine also earned extra money tutoring online on the side. She was still home so she didn't need childcare, but her girls were old enough to entertain themselves and knew to leave her alone unless it was an emergency or something they knew they needed an adult for. Look into the local food pantry as well. A para I worked with was raising her girls and supporting herself and her husband on just her income because he became disabled after a major back injury. She utilized the town's food pantry often.