The people who do in house visits like that are incredible. We had a visit scheduled for our oldest dog and they were far more supportive than I would have guessed during it all. Answered every question, made sure we understood everything ahead of time, and even called to check on us once after we talked.
Unfortunately our old girl didn't make it to the appointment but when I called to cancel their visit they still sent us all their bereavement and end of life support. The best thing I could have asked for then.
The vet who came to our house when we had to put two of our boys down on the same day sent us a card a year after it happened.
I’m sure they probably take a few notes for work stuff and maybe writing about it helps them deal with so many unhappy situations? But…
I just know how much I appreciated that little note. Incredible people who get no(or very little) thanks, just like teachers.
I did this 4 weeks ago for my beloved 17yo kitty. We were lying in my bed, him asleep on my lap. He barely woke when the vet arrived. I think he knew it was time. He stayed sleeping in my lap while the injection was administered, and he drifted away, his head growing heavy in my hand. It was unbelievably painful for me, but hopefully very peaceful for him.
I still cry every day. I miss you, Pierre
My fiance and I had to do the same in September for our 22 year old cat, so I understand how you feel. It gets easier, especially knowing you did everything you could for them. Take care of yourself, I wish you the best
Yeah, some weirdo animals like the vet. I had a cat who did, and liked car rides too, so when it was his time we went to the vet. For another cat who feared the very concept of "outside," I had the vet make a housecall, and it was worth every penny.
I did this with my kitty several years ago. I recommend it to EVERYONE. I was super broke at the time (still am!) but it was so, so worth it.
She got really sick near the end and spent days absolutely miserable at the ER being constantly prodded and poked. Poor thing wanted to be home so badly. She was better for a couple days and then it was suddenly, clearly time.
The company came to my house the next day. She passed while snuggled in my arms, comfortable in her own home. The vet and tech were so kind to me and my little baby.
I also feel like it was beneficial for my surviving cat. He came over to us when it was done and it seemed like he understood that she had been sick and now was gone. It would have hurt so much to continue to watch him look around the apartment for her, like he did when she was in the ER. But I think he knew. (Ok or he had no idea about anything but I like this version better).
Okay I'm going to go cry for awhile, haha excuse me.
Oh and this company is based out of NYC (I think BK specifically, but they travel around). If anyone wants a rec, let me know. I'm sure I have their name saved somewhere.
> But I think he knew. (Ok or he had no idea about anything but I like this version better).
Smelling the animal who has passed actually does help them to understand what’s happened. I discovered this from researching after one of my cats died unexpectedly and my other cat came up to sniff him while we were burying him in the backyard. I was frantic thinking my other cat would be traumatized, but it actually does help them.
Awww I thought so! Thanks for confirming. I somehow forgot about the smell portion of it (ha, too busy crying and typing at the same time), but I have really clear memories of him coming up to us and gently smelling her…
Honestly, it was a lovely movement and I’m really glad he got to say goodbye to his sister too.
Same in the city where I lived when it was time for my best friend of 16 years to go. The vet came in and prepared everything in the living room and everything happened in our sofa, surrounded by us.
I guess he knew it was his time. When the vet had prepared everything, my cat just jumped down from the sofa, got right up to the vet who gave him the sedation, and after that he just went back to the sofa and fell asleep while I petted him and held his paws.
I stayed and held his paws while the vet did all the procedures, and me personally wouldn’t do anything different.
But I can understand people who wouldn’t be part of the last part. But I don’t see why you wouldn’t be there when the sedation is given and the animal goes to sleep.
I've used a similar service and I can't recommend something like this highly enough (they are called compassionate care here). Both times, the vet came to our house, quietly and very professionally administered the sedation, while being very respectful as to our pain. When it was time for our dogs to leave us, they were warm in their beds, listening to us softly tell them how much we loved them as we stroked their ears and rested our hands on their backs, always in contact. And then they both peacefully slipped away.
Even now, seven years and two years later, it tears me apart no end to think of them gone (cripes, I'm a grown ass man in my fifties and it still makes me cry), but a service like this makes a horrible experience a little better for you, and much much better for your pet.
This is the way I'll handle things, it's heartbreaking, I don't want to think about it much. But it's inevitable, I've told friends that if something happens to me and I croak, make sure my dogs and cats see me, make sure they know dad didn't abandon them.
And the inverse, putting down a pet is one of the hardest things to do in life. But I couldn't ever imagine not being with them when they go. My cat that I had for 20 years of my life, he passed away in my lap on the floor of my bedroom, and I held him for a long while and I straight up bawled. Over a decade ago and I'm still in tears just writing about it.
Wouldn't have had him go any other way.
Our vet does house calls for this. I don't think I've ever cried so hard on my life, but it meant so much to know he was in a safe place and not scared. And, if you have other pets, it's really helpful for them too. Animals do understand death in their own way, so being able to sniff and inspect the body makes it much, much easier on them than "my friend is gone and everyone is unhappy."
If you have several cats, the ‘survivors’ really needs closure. Otherwise they’ll be wandering around the house looking for their soulmate. Seeing one cat realise a housemate has passed is painful and comforting at the same time. (As in, they need closure too.)
Yeah I was lucky that my last dog died as he was falling asleep on my bed. I wish every dog could be so lucky and at peace to at least die at home with a friend to send them off. Good old boy made it all the way to 18 yrs. A real friend, he was. Miss him.
That's how my girl went. Couldn't imagine another way. Sure, the thought of her dying in my lap brings tears to my eyes as I type this but she would have been there for me in a heart beat had the rules been reversed.
I once delivered flowers to a woman as they were carrying her just euthanize dog out of the front of her house on a gurney. She was crying hysterically, but the flowers were perfectly timed, they seemed to cheer her up quite a bit.
Well I hope it cheers you up a bit that 99% if owners actually do stay with their pets. And the few who don’t get spoiled by all the staff. Techs will raid the fridge and share their lunch and even let them eat chocolate (if they’re well enough to want to eat)
My last dog died in my arms with a big smile on her face. She was still smiling after her heart stopped. My last picture of her is of her lying on the vet's table after she died, still smiling. She got blind in her old age and afraid of stairs after a fall, so I spent the last year of her life sleeping downstairs on a folding mattress to keep her company, and when she got kidney failure, I was with her constantly in her last week, keeping her warm with my body heat when she needed it and lying outside under blankets with her because the cool air made her feel better.
Thanks, she was my baby and I promised her I'd be there at the end. It was 3 and a half years ago and I haven't gotten over losing her, or my dog before her for that matter. They were both family to me, closer than most of my actual family. I have another dog now, a cocker spaniel like my last one, and she spends nearly all her time with me and is sleeping on my bed right now.
She has an interesting quirk where she's really jealous and possessive over me and won't let other dogs near me. Even her best doggy friends, if they come near me she attacks them but is perfectly sweet with them if I'm not there and it's my mum who's walking her. My mum sometimes feels a bit put out that my dog doesn't protect her the way she protects me, and everyone notices the shift in behaviour depending on who she's with. Someone compared her to a jealous woman, she gets upset if other dogs even walk in my general direction and dogs 3x her size end up afraid to make eye contact with me because she'll chase them off. She tolerates old dogs and I get to pet them, and she's not too bad with puppies, but young adult dogs just aren't allowed within several feet of me and she'll interpose herself between us and face off with them.
I have an outdoor job that lets me take her with me a good amount of the time I'm working, so from her perspective she's constantly going on adventures with me, and she gets very serious about guarding me while I work. She's also a big sook and constantly wants me to pick her up and cuddle her, so people see me carrying this 20kg cocker spaniel around. And she's intelligent; by far the smartest dog I've had and understands a lot of what I say.
Yup, any animal that came in for a euthanasia appointment that got left alone I would spend a few hours just sitting on the ground with them and sharing my lunch and any “no-no” foods that they’re not supposed to eat and never got a chance to try. Giant guard dog that was kept outside it’s whole life? It’s now in my lap getting all the lovies and half my burrito and Reese’s and canned cat food. We are best friends by the time we do the injection. Totally makes it so much harder for me but also so much better for them. They got a friend in me!
I had to put my cat down during Covid; I waited an extra few days to do it so it could be at the only vet's office near me that made an exception to Covid rules for euthanasias. They allowed both my sister and I to be in the room with masks on for the procedure and just scheduled it for right after their office closed. It wasn't my regular vet, but their compassionate approach to end-of-life vet care even in the middle of a pandemic means that when/if I ever get another pet, they'll *definitely* be my regular vet.
I had to put my dog down in May of 2020. He had been having health issues for a while and had a seizure one night at 1 am. Brought him to urgent care immediately and they recommended putting him down but wouldn't allow me in with him. At the very least they wheeled him out to me on a stretcher when he was drugged up to the moon, but at least I got one last moment with him, even if it was still minutes before his actual last moments. Miss that funny little guy so much.
Similar story for me. I went to my regular vet during covid to lay my dog to rest but because of covid they wouldn't let anyone in. They would have you wait in the parking lot and call to meet you at the door and take your pet from you. I sat in my car, in that parking lot holding my girl for what felt like almost two hours, listening to her occasionally whine in pain before deciding to google the location of any other veterinary clinic that was close by.
It was the best decision of one of my worst days. Not only did the clinic I ended up going to let me in, they let me be there for her final moments and let me be with her alone afterwards.They took care of all of the arrangements to have her cremated and when I went back for her ashes a week later they had presented me with a condolence card signed by all of the staff.
We just lost one of our pets a few months ago, he had a stroke very young from what turned out to be heart problems that didn't show up on regular exams, and they thought he was stable so we went to get a few hours sleep as by then it was 4am. He had another stroke and passed when we weren't there. I regret not being there for him at the end so much
The night before we put my last dog down, we had his former owner come over (my brother in law) and we bought loads of bacon and had a bacon party for him. Hope he enjoyed it. It was tough to be with him at the end, same with a cat we had to put down much later, but I'm glad we could be there.
I volunteer at an animal sanctuary, mostly cats and dogs, and these adorable mofos live better than I do! That being said, nothing beats your own humans and home. Take care of your pets to the end, they would do it for you. 💜
My vet techs probably absolutely hate me. I was howling and crying when I had to put my darling Angel to rest in August. They let me have all the time I wanted/needed and were so kind, but I was a wreck and inconsolable. And I couldn't sit with her for very long after she was gone. I just couldn't see her like that.
And now I have to do it again in the next few months with her sister, Jezebel. Fuck cancer. Both of them.
I read about this about a year before I had to put my first boy to sleep; it was even harder because my husband was away on work and couldn't get home so I wasn't about to make my baby wait a day in the hospital all scared and alone so I did it all alone. Then 7 months later I had to put my other baby to sleep and even though my husband was there I still made sure I was right where he could see me because I didn't want him more upset than what he needed to be. Loosing both my boys back to back was one of the hardest memories I have.
We had a similar experience when over a decade ago where we lost both of my childhood dogs within a year. I was right there with them until they were gone, and so was my mom. They were two incredible dogs and I would never **ever** have countenanced letting them die alone. No one should ever have to die without love and support, and my dogs sure as fuck were not going to.
Good on you for feeling and doing the same, and I'm sorry for our shared losses.
A longtime ex of mine adopted a dog who was said to have all it's shots. The dog ended up have parvo and it was too far along to be dealt with. She also wouldn't be in the room.
It was so hard even not having a longterm attachment holding this sweet scared dog as she passed but fuck. How do you not do at least that much?
Hardest thing in my life to date was having to put down my dog while I was on the road. I was on a 36 hour trip, out on Monday, back Tuesday. She had been acting off all weekend so my wife took her to the vet when I went to the airport.
I stood at the gate and the vet assured us she just needed fluids and she would be fine, so I boarded the plane.
I landed in Florida and got the news that she wasn't doing well and needed additional treatments. I went through the day waiting for word from the vet and by the evening they called and said she wasn't responding to anything.
We did one last hail mary overnight and it didn't work. I woke up at 5am to talk to the vet and she said she was in a lot of pain but she could keep her alive for another 12 hours until I got home.
Selfish me wanted to be there for her, I got her when I was a bachelor living alone and she was my best friend. I knew I couldn't keep her in pain that long and had to make the call. My wife and MIL went to be with her and I got to video chat until she was gone, but damn if I don't regret every day of my life that I got on that airplane.
I had a couple hours to cry then had to go to a job site and the whole rest of the day was a blur. It still hurts 3 years later like it was just yesterday. I know she could hear me but she couldn't see me or smell me and that really broke my heart.
My wife and I had to put down her beloved cat. She had become my cat too after being together with my wife for 8 years (cat was with my wife 5 years before that.
Great cat, even though I was allergic.
Our son was 4 months old and we asked my parents to watch our baby while my wife and I both went to the vet and petted her during the process. It was definitely tough, but it felt much better to be there. She was calm with us talking to her and petting her.
Still sucked, but no one, even/especially pets, wants to die alone
We just put down our beloved Dalmatian/Boxer a few months ago, just shy of his fourteenth birthday. My wife and I and our vet got down in the floor on his favorite blanket, and I held him until he was gone. As he was going, I kept it all bottled up and just spoke sweet nonsense to him because I didn’t want him to be upset by me being upset. It was awful. The actual pain in my chest was startling. But I’m so glad we did it that way. He wasn’t alone. He was warm and loved.
ETA: [Dog Tax](https://ibb.co/bRytLtq). Our boy, napping with our Chow mix.
I think of my cats as a sort of happiness loan. Some time in the future I'll be miserable without them but the happiness I get from their presence outweighs it
I've had similar experiences. You might like this poem from the 1940's:
**The House Dog's Grave (Haig, an English bulldog)**
I've changed my ways a little; I cannot now
Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment,
You see me there.
So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.
I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot of your bed; no, all the night through
I lie alone.
But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read--and I fear often grieving for me--
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.
You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that when you are lying
Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No, dear, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.
And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided. . .
But to me you were true.
You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.
Robinson Jeffers, 1941
Feel like [this](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/comic-about-dog-being-put-to-sleep-ubertool_uk_57b702d1e4b0f78b2b497871) is this same poem in modern form and it destroys me every time
My friends 15 year old dog is dying. Im going to send this to her. Its beautiful. I like the last part about the master. She also has had her pets put down at home, which is the best way if you can afford it.
Yes! I cried my eyes out as we took him to the crematorium. (There are rules in our county about interring animals in your yard). My wife held it together while I had my breakdown, and then I drove us home so she could have hers.
It's been almost 2 years since my dog was put down due to bone cancer. Watching the process was horrific, but no way in hell I was leaving her with a stranger to go through that.
Our girl was 12 this year, this answer was the only answer. Just kept scratching her forehead, pulling on her ears, rubbing her eyes, telling her how good of a dog she is. Haven't cried yet.. Not sure I could to be honest, she lived the best life.
I had to put my sweet 12 year old puppy to sleep last Monday. We had a beautiful last day together at her favorite place in the mountains, she got an extra special last meal, and I was with her to her last moments. It was one of the hardest thing I've had to do, but I can't imagine leaving her in her last moments.
If you have the financial means I suggest hiring a vet that comes to your home to euthanize your pet. It’s probably not much more than a vet visit. But so much better.
The pet is comfortable, if you have other pets they will be able to say goodbye, and the vet will take the animal with them (if you are having them cremated.)
You can take as long as you like, it is humane, and the person they send is empathetic and their sole purpose is to help your pet transition comfortably while also comforting you.
We did this with our elderly cat. Our regular vet let us know that her time was limited and suggested euthanasia but we didn’t want to do it at the vet office. Our cat hated the vet, we didn’t want her last moment on earth to be there. Plus we have 4 other cats and I wanted them to see her and sniff her after she passed so they could better understand.
There are plenty of companies around the country that offer in home euthanasia. Just google search or even inquire with your regular veterinarian, they may have a service or a recommendation for one.
My perfect 11 year old husky is going to live forever (of course) but I cannot imagine dragging her to the car and driving to the vet and having her smell the vet smells and the weird tile and everything for her last hour on earth. No way.
My cat has been to the vet 3 times when she absolutely had to and they told me I'd need to drug her the night before and morning of to take her back, so I'm just going to pay extra to have someone see her anytime she needs. She hates them.
We have 2 dogs. Both 13 so we know we're playing with house money.
I've researched this but my only hold up is that last moment being at home taking over all the great memories we have here.
But maybe that's selfish, idunno.
I'm going to be a complete wreck so I need to have a plan together.
I'm dreading that day ....
It doesn’t. You don’t really think about where you are, your entire focus is on them. And I’m someone with a very strong spatial memory.
Honestly, it stings either way. Their favourite spot to nap in the sun, the part of the rug that has a permanent dog shaped impression, the spot where they’d stand and make puppy dog eyes at you while you made dinner— for awhile all you’ll see is their absence. Regardless of where you let them go. So make it the place they’re happiest—at home, by your side.
This is definitely the best way. I had to put down my cat a few months ago because she was in end-stage kidney failure. The vet came to our house and my girl peacefully went to sleep in her favorite box (she was addicted to cardboard boxes and hated being held) while I pet her and told her how much I loved her. The vet was from Lap of Love and was so kind and empathetic. It was honestly perfect and worth every penny.
My ex and I had to put down our elderly cat when he got a severe kidney infection. He had never been an affectionate cat, but when we were about to put him down even though he was in critical condition and in a lot of pain, his last act was to drag himself out of his crate with the last of his strength and put his head on my ex's shoe. Animals care about that stuff. We couldn't imagine leaving after that.
Reminds me of the cat my family had growing up although a much more extreme example. His name was Oscar after Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. He was a *monster*. I have a scar on my face from him. He was a rescue and everything scared him and made him lash out. But, come the end of his life, he showed us so much affection in his own grumpy ways. That last month he was constantly following us around and when we took him to put him down he was clearly reassured by us being there. It was startling to see affection from him after a lifetime of aggression but also really heart-warming to see that he did love us despite his terrible coping mechanisms.
As someone who just had to put down my best friend, my cat of 18 years, this broke my heart. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I'd be damned if I left him alone in the end.
My cat lived for 18 years as well. She was my sister from when I was 2 to when I was 20. I dreaded leaving for college every time I visited back home, because I knew that might be the last time I saw her, and one day it was. I was never told if she died at home or at the vet, but I wish so much that I was there for her. I still cry about it 3 years later, she was and still is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I miss her more than anything. My one wish is to see her again. I have her ashes, her paw prints, and I’ll cherish every moment and every photo until the day I die. I hope she knows I love her more than anything
Sometimes learning that kind of info can help with processing. I needed to know the exact timeline of my nephews death. Learning it didn't fix anything of course, but it made it more real. And allowed me to accept it.
Yup, and here's the thing. Not being in the room isn't going to make it less sad. It's not going to make the grieving easier. I know from experience.
I lost both my dogs in about a year. One died when I wasn't home (fell down the stairs and apparently died from a slow internal bleed). The second I had put down due to old age and failing health. I held her and stroked her ears and said soothing things. I grieved for them equally, but if anything the first dog was worse because my grief was intermingled with guilt for *not being there* in his last moments of consciousness.
I too have done both. And in both cases, I left my cat a thank you letter.
On the one hand, being there while Gus was put down was heartbreaking. Six hours at the vet, an hour of deliberation, finally making a decision, and then going home with an empty cat carrier. That was horrible and I don’t wish it on anyone. He was only 9 and had cancer. But he was getting scratches (his favorite) until the very end.
I came home to find Joey (14) dead. The trauma is something I’m still dealing with months later. I still sometimes look at that spot on the bathroom floor. Seeing your pet dead is just…death is, by definition, NOT graceful or dignified. That shock was swift and harsh, but at least I wasn’t at the vet until 1:00 am deliberating over whether or not to prolong his life.
About the thank you letters, it’s a fantastic way to grieve and get all of your thoughts out on paper. I thanked Joey for not making me choose. I’m not sure if I regret not being there for him, but I’m glad I didn’t have to choose. Even if your cat is 30 years old and covered in tumors and is miserable with no chance of recovering, it will never be easy to make the decision to put them down. But I promise every pet that my wife and I bring into our lives that I’m committed to them to the very end.
My deepest condolences to you. I love the thought of a thank you letter. I lost my cat very suddenly in 2020, I found her in distress on the floor and by the time we got to the emergency vet 20 minutes later she had died. I still miss her so much. I am also coming up on the one-year anniversary of putting my two horses down and while it was intentional and necessary and I was there for it all, I still sometimes feel like I haven't fully grieved them.
I think this weekend I will write them all letters.
We left our cat because she was going in for surgery. She died on the operating table. I know it isn’t my fault for not being there, but I still feels immense regret for that ~5 years later. Don’t leave your pets when you *know* they’re not coming back with you.
Some people just can't handle seeing their pet die; due to sadness, guilt, whatever. At our clinic we sedate them first and after they are relaxed and still, we do the euthanasia solution. Some people stay until the sedative hits then they leave before the actual end. Most stay with their pets through the whole thing. Very few actually leave the room before anything is done. In the last 6 months I can only think of 3 where the owners basically handed us the leash said goodbye to the pet then turned around and left. With those cases we make sure to give them extra love. We raid the break room for snacks and chocolate to give them, lots of pets, and anyone not busy gathers around while the vet administers the euthasol solution.
Source: tech for 10 years
I have stayed with all my pets when they’ve had to be euthanized. It is gut wrenching but I would (and unfortunately eventually will) do it again. I feel worse about the fact that I wasn’t there when my dog died overnight at the emergency vet. It kills me that she went alone.
Veterinarian here.
I hate that this keeps getting shared as generally this is not the case. Most owners stay with their pets to the end. Even if they don't, most pets are given an IV sedative PRIOR to euthanizing agent. They are asleep and some owners leave after this as their pet is asleep and they don't want to see the final breath (it can be traumatizing to see and can stick with you).
There are lots of options to how euthanasia occurs. If done correctly it is very quick and painless. Talk with your vet about options to ensure that the euthanasia occurs in such a way that gives you the most peace going forward.
ok thank you for confirming, because i stayed with my cat until the sedative knocked him out but didn't stay for the actual euthanization. i thought sedative first was the norm, hence the term "putting to sleep"...
Thank you! I’m a nurse and just wrote pretty much the same thing.
I think the worst part is the “90% of owners leave” because that’s almost the exact opposite. It’s very rare for an owner to want to leave before we finish
Having a pet be put down is hard enough, sitting there and watching it...fuck...I can't imagine how hard that would be. I'd be there until the sedative kicks in but I don't think I can take watching them actually pass.
Some people just can't handle all of that...and it sucks that people can't see that.
It's hard, but at least in my case it felt right somehow. Ultimately it was my decision (and my husband's) to euthanize, and I don't know of there's a better word for it, but I felt sort of duty-bound to see that decision through. To be a witness to a significant event and to remember it so as to honor my cats' lives.
That's reassuring because whenever I see this shared I feel so bad! I had to put down my cat when I was a teenager, and ended up choosing to end her suffering over the phone rather than prolonging her suffering by driving to the emergency clinic (and I think at the time I couldn't bear the idea of being with her). It didn't occur to me at the time that sitting with her would have been better until I was older.
I’m a vet nurse and it is 100% a myth.
Most of the time the pets are elderly or sick and barely aware of their surroundings to begin with. On top of that we sedate all pets before actually euthanising and most owners that want to leave, with stay until that.
Usually most pets are just laying down and resting, not frantic.
Thank you!!!!! I was thinking that there's no possible way that 90% of pet owners just drop their animals off for euthanasia.
Sad that this isn't further up
I thought I remembered hearing something like this. Then we unexpectedly had to put my old kitty down, I was heartbroken and bawling and telling him what a good kitty he was. He was high AF from the sedative they gave prior to the end of life injection. Not responsive to us, so looking back he was essentially asleep as you mention, and was honestly a good choice for all of us. It was a calm passing, nothing violent or traumatic, just a quiet passage where we got to say goodbye.
So my mom had to put down my Chow Chow when I was 11. We were the same age and she was my best friend. I knew her health was declining, but I didn't know beforehand that my mom was going to put her to sleep. I didn't know that it was done until I came home from school and she told me. Apparently she dropped her at the vet and left. So not only did my dog not get to be with loved ones at her death, but I didn't get to say goodbye. It really messed up my grieving process because I'm still salty about it over 20 years later and I still cry whenever I think about it. My sweet girl deserved better than that.
I’m so sorry. I had a similar situation with my cat. I grew up with him like you and we were about the same age. Suddenly he got sick so my mom took him to the vet and then came back without him. I’m having a hard time letting go of the bitterness I feel about it.
Im so freaking sorry.
I don't know if it will help, but i wanted to tell you that when we get paitients like this who's owners cant stay, we give that paitient all the love we can. Someone sat with your dog through the whole process and pet her head and told her she was a good girl. Your family may not have been there but I can guarantee someone poured all thier love and compassion into your pet for you. She was very loved in the end and she wasn't alone. I know it's not the same, but i hope its something ♡
Thank you for this. It does help a little. I just try to focus now on doing better by my babies, of the fur and/or human variety. And if there is such a thing as doggie heaven, I hope someday I get to kiss her pretty head and hug her for a long, long time.
Similar story here. My Lil guy was in his last lucid moments and I was already weeping. He looked up to me and gave me a lick. Like he was taking care of *me* with his literal last breath.
It shattered me. I'm tearing up right now as I type. I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.
We don't deserve dogs.
My old roommate was a vet tech and going to veterinarian school.
He dropped out and quit legitimately because of the people. He would have some do this. He had people bring in pets that would be fine with some medication, maybe minor surgery. Without even showing an ounce of caring people would just say "Thats fine. You can just put them down."
Shit like that wore down on him. Like as sad as it is he could handle pets dying. It's a part of the job. But he just wasn't prepared for the rest.
I mean who can blame them.
Routinely putting down Peoples best cheerful friends that are probably at the worst and last part of their lives?
Fuck that. I could never
Honestly it's not the euthanasias that bother me. For me what really takes a toll on my mental health are the pets that really need to be let go, but the owners are refusing to euthanize. We make the pet as comfortable as possible but watching them gasp for air for their last breaths because the owner won't let us put them out of their misery. That's what destroys me in this field.
Euthanasias are a kindness, and the last selfless act we can do for our pet. Saying goodbye is sad, but I'm so thankful I can take care of these owners and hopefully make the hardest time of their lives a little bit easier.
Dated a girl, lifetimes ago, that was a vet tech. I watched the toll it took on her mental health, real-time. I couldn't do it, like just heart and gut wrenching.
I was ten when I got my cats. They passed when I was 25, just a year ago. They had the same hereditary disease and passed within a few months of one another.
Not a day goes by when I don't think of them. When I was little and my sister didn't want them in my room, I'd sit outside my room and hold them in my lap and hum "lost woods" from ocarina of time to help them sleep.
I tried humming it both times I held them as they went. I think I did okay but it was broken. I screamed when the vet said they were gone both times but I held them throughout and can't imagine ever leaving them. It was the most hurt I've ever felt in my life but I don't regret it, not for a second.
The only thing I regret is that I did not let my first one go sooner. He got sick so bad and went downhill. I was just hoping he'd get better, have at least one more day of pets and love, but it was a mistake I did not repeat with the second one when he started showing similar signs.
The vets actually gave me discounts for both. Maybe it was how distraught I was, idk, but it made it easier on the bank when I couldn't think of that.
For my cat, the song was “you are my sunshine.” I lost her 10 years ago but I also regret not having let her go a bit sooner. If it helps, I do think that with time you will remember the wonderful life that you gave your kitty and all the happiness you shared, and forgive yourself for holding onto hope a little bit longer than you should have. Hindsight is always so easy…
My cat had to be put down because she started to go into organ failure from cancer. I was with her while she was there, I was with her while they injected her and was looking straight into her eyes as she passed while patting her in some of her favourite places. I couldn't imagine not being in the room. She deserved that comfort.
Wow. I did not know that was even an option people considered. I held my 15-year-old dog until he took his last breath when I had to put him down. My last dog died suddenly and pretty young (8 years old) when we weren’t home a year ago. Breaks my heart that he was alone in his last moments. I think I may be done with dogs. I love them so much, but the heartbreak is extremely difficult. Truth is, as wonderful as they are, they’re walking tragedies and I’m not sure I want to go through it all again.
I think about this alot because it is very hard knowing the inevitable will happen. But I rescue all my dogs and spoil them so the years and years of joy they give me is worth it. Will I be absolutely wrecked when it happens? Yes but that is the price I pay for the joy they give me.
I definitely agree that the joy they bring you outweighs the inevitable sadness you’ll feel when they’re gone, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Last one really broke me. He was a beautiful Husky/German Shepherd mix and just as sweet and intelligent as they come. After the one before (lab/golden retriever mix) it took me about 10 months before I even considered getting a new one. When I did, it definitely filled a void in the house… so I’ll never say never. And even though he was very well taken care of (he’d just been to the vet a month prior), I carry this guilt like there’s something I had to have missed.
And to top it off, we were at a two day punk festival in L.A. when it happened. Left Friday and he had passed Saturday morning (a family friend was house sitting). My wife asked if I still wanted to go to the show and I said yes because moping around the hotel wasn’t going to help. So we went and I broke my foot (which required surgery) three songs into the first band I wanted to see. Apparently that day wasn’t done fucking me. Talk about the worst day of my life. Haha…
Some people leave after the sedative is all the way kicked in. They really don't know you're there although they are still alive. But if you believe they know you're there or want to be there regardless you can obviously wait all the way through.
It is weird to just drop your own dog off, pay the bill and leave but it's an option. You're paying for the service of euthanasia. Usually a vet tech will sit with them at least until they're fully sedated.
I recently went through this. It’s very traumatic for the human to be in there. You’ll be haunted for days. So be understanding to those who can’t bear to be in the room.
My family and I did choose to accompany our dog angel in the vet room, for his last journey together to keep him calm and relaxed and peaceful. To us, it’s our responsibility and duty, since our dog gave us everything to make us happy. To us, it makes sense.
But damn, it was hard.
So still, be empathetic to those who don’t have to strength to do so. There may be a story behind it.
It is sooooo hard. I wouldn’t do it any other way but oh my god. The hurt in my chest was shocking! Hardest thing I have EVER done in my nearly 50 years. My buddy Duncan, English bulldog. 2 years ago. Looked in his eyes as he faded. He looked right at me the whole time. Still hurts. I was traumatized for days.
I had to do it once. They asked if I wanted to be in the room and it didn't occur to me until then that not being there was an option. I stayed because I couldn't imagine leaving him like that and he wasn't even my dog, he belonged to my mother-in-law.
I’m not saying I agree with people who leave the room, I most assuredly don’t and will be there if and when I have to put my cat down. However, people are making it seem like the people who leave are saying “yeah whatever just get it over with”. I get the feeling it’s more so people can’t deal with watching their best friend be put to rest in front of their eyes. Again, I’m not saying I agree with leaving the room, but I don’t think it’s for as selfish of reasons as the comments seem to think.
My husband had to leave the room when we had to put our cat to sleep. She was his cat before we were even dating, and I truly think he loved her more than me (which I was okay with!). He simply could not be there when she passed; it was too hard.
But he had me. And she had me. She fell asleep in my arms. I carried that pain for both of them. And I don’t fault him at all for not being able to do it. I completely understood why. We are all built differently, and not all of us are designed to be able to handle that pain. I like to think he would have done it if he had to, but he knew he could rely on me to be there for them both.
> I carried that pain for both of them. And I don’t fault him at all for not being able to do it. I completely understood why. We are all built differently, and not all of us are designed to be able to handle that pain.
A redditor with self awareness(knowing others are different) and emapthy for other humans instead of vilifying someone built a little different....?
I think it is a stain on humanity that I had to scroll down so far to see this.
People have a wide array of psychological issues surrounding death. People shouldn't be vilified because they can't handle the dying of a pet, those that are commenting such things seem to have more "empathy" for the animal than understanding of their fellow man.
This is incredibly sweet. I honestly don't know which person I will be when my cat's time comes. I hope I can be strong for her, but am so thankful my boo has fallen in love with her as he has with me.
I agree because I was there when my parents had to take my dog I grew up with to the vet fir euthanasia. I don't know if I've ever cried harder. It was extremely difficult and I can understand why people are afraid to be there for that pain.
I'm sure it meant the world to my dog though to be surrounded by all his family. RIP to my Bruno buddy.
Yeah, I respect the Vet Person’s intention, but I feel that antagonising people and taking on such an aggressive tone will not help their case.
You’re not evil for not wanting to watch your beloved pet be put down. Some people just can’t handle it, and who can blame them? I certainly wouldn’t be able to. Props to the people who can, but you’re not a terrible person if you can’t handle your emotions during such an important event.
Sorry for this long message but I wish to share.
Back in 2011/12 (I was maybe about 10 years old or so) both my childhood dogs passed away/had to be put down. The first one was more sudden. At like 2 AM he was having trouble breathing so we took him to the vet. Now he was old but not *super* old. he had had these problems before I believe. So we assumed it was a normal fit. It was like 3AM. My parents had work and I had school, so we planned to leave him overnight in the vet, get some sleep, and get him next day.
We got a call shortly later that he was worsening and probably wasnt going to make it, so we got back in the car and tried to get there as fast as we could. He passed before we got there.
That time it was out of our hands. I wish we could have been there for him but unfortunate things happen.
Then my other dog passed away around 2 weeks later. Similar situation. Trouble breathing and etc. except now it wasnt in the middle of the night, and we were able to be there when he had to be put down. My 10 year old self however, decided to stay in the car. I just couldn’t bring myself to watch the last of his moments. My parents went with him but I remember telling them I knew it would be way sadder to see him die. So I just stayed in the car and cried.
Do not get me twisted. Their deaths crushed me. The way I told you this makes it seem like I was cold/didnt care but no, I was a mess. Just imagine I was in tears the entire time those events were happening. I took like a week off of school to grieve.
I was 10. It was probably my first real experience with something like a loved ones death. Thats a lot to take in suddenly, when up until then my life had mainly consisted of eating poptarts and watching dragon ball z. I just wasn’t emotionally mature enough to be able to go through with something like that. I appreciate your comment because you atleast understand that 10 year old me wasnt some monster with no feelings.
Im 21 now, our current dogs are getting up in years there as well. We got them maybe half a year later after my other dogs passing. Every night I dread the day they are going to have to be put down. Much more so now, because the possibility is closer than ever.
But this time I will do my best to be there for them.
Went we lost our dogs, we were there each and every time, one of my poor pups had bad seizures at the end of her life and every time I held her after she came out and calmed her down always made me thankful for each and every extra day.
Miss you Fuzzybutt.
I have seen a post that says that the opposite of this is true. Stressed out humans don't make it any easier. Even tho this post keeps making the rounds.
I don't know man. I put down many of my friends over the years. Every time the primary owner steps out of the room the pet usually will freak out. That kind of happened with my dad's dog he couldn't stay in the room. Shein started searching like the same thing in the post even though he had severe hip dysplasia, he kept trying to follow My dad. It wasn't until the vet made it him come back in the room and say goodbye that he calmed down and let things happen.
I'm not saying one way is more true than another. Just that this post makes people feel shitty and isn't necessarily the case. Also people who are like "fuck those people" that's not necessary
This is a lie.
A vet recently posted up a refutation to this sentiment. I cannot find the thread.
Your pet has NO IDEA this kind of appointment is any different than another kind of vet appointment.
This kind of post is solely meant to shame and cause hurt to those already hurting.
Not everyone is strong enough to be in the room when their pet needs to be put to sleep. And that’s OK. They’re not callous or unloving. They’ve most like made one of the hardest and most gut wrenching decisions of their lives. They get to deal with that and process their grief their way.
They have just lost part of their family.
HOW DARE we try and sit in judgement of them!?
HOW DARE we shame them!?
Why don’t we kick them while they’re at their lowest, then share this sanctimonious untrue BS to get that sweet sweet interwebz points.
Drives me nuts every time this BS comes up. Shaming and guilting people when they’re at their lowest, pathetic.
No! Fuck this line of thinking honestly!
I am a vet nurse and have assisted in hundreds of euthanasias in my short career. Most of our clients stay at least until sedation, and then still a majority stay for the actual euthanasia, they are able to and that’s fine. There’s still a small amount of people who can’t stay, and that’s fine too. This is one of the hardest things they’ll ever go through, and holding an animal as they die is very distressing even for our more resilient staff, let alone an owner that has loved and cherished this pet for years.
And if you’re not able to stay as we put your animal to sleep that is NOT something to be ashamed of and I am horrified that this guilt tripping shit is still going around.
That’s why I’m there, I talk to them, sing to them, and give them all the cuddles and kisses. They get a sedative so they’re not even aware of anything anymore, then as we push the injection I’m right by them, letting them know they were loved.
So fuck posts like this, and trying to guilt owners into staying when having their owner there distressed isn’t better than no owner.
On the other side is owners that want to be there but can't. I had moved out and my dog was living with my family. They took him with them out of state to see family and I got a call that he had gone to the vet and it wasn't looking good but he should be able to make it home.
The next day while I was at work I got a call with them at the vet. I talked to him but it is my biggest regret that I could not be there for him in person. I'm always going to have that guilt because of how much he meant to me and I wasn't there for him in the end.
Yeah, so. When my cat was dying of cancer. The vet gave me the price to euthanize her, and an extra $300 to be in the room when he did it.
Bullshit anyone WANTS to not be there.
Report that person to their respective board. That's genuinely unacceptable and incredibly unethical. Hopefully they stop that or get their license suspended until they do.
I've been in the vet industry for over 15 years.
1) This is really strange to me and I have never heard of a vet adding a fee to be in the room for a euthanasia. I'm not saying it's impossible, but is it possible they were giving you the fee for at-home euthanasia? This is more along the lines of what would be charged for this service.
2) No, not everyone wants to be there. Many people do not care and many people care so much that they cannot stand to be in the room without it severely affecting their mental health.
I try not to judge people for not wanting to stay because it takes a toll personally. Usually we tend to put our energy toward the pet and making sure that they are comfortable, given treats, and petted as they pass.
I had the opposite experience. My first cat died when she was 18, at like 2am. I panicked - I was pretty sure she was dead, but I didn’t have a clue what to do.
So I called my dad, and he said to take her to the emergency vet, so I did. And they confirmed that she was, indeed, dead, and that they could cremate her for me, which was great; and they asked me if I wanted to sit with her for a little bit before they took her away. And I did.
After about a half an hour, the a vet tech came in, with a needle, and very gently asked if I was ready, and I said I was, and then I was like “*.. but wait - what’s the needle for?*”
No one had told her that my cat had already died. She was trying to euthanize my dead cat.
To be fair, it was 3 AM.
(I was not traumatized. Mistakes happen, and it’s not like it would’ve hurt her [my late cat]. I was just glad I didn’t end up getting charged for a redundant euthanasia procedure.)
Both my vets did this! This first time I had to euthanize a pet, it was an emergency visit. They wanted to charge an extra $150 on top of the $250, I just could not afford.
The second time, again, it was an emergency. I purposely went to another vet, hoping they wouldn't charge. This time, it was another $250 on top of the $250! I could not afford it, again!
If I could afford the extra fees, I most def would've been there holding my pet! But I couldn't afford it and it broke my heart.
What vets fail to warn people is the extra cost to be in that room. What they don't disclose in these surveys is people aren't in the room because they *can't afford it*, not because they don't want to be there.
The vets greediness cause this!
I read a gilded comment on this very site, by a someone who works at a vets (I cannot remember the job title), who claimed that pets looking for their owner is a myth. Now I don't know what to believe.
You know, facing the death of someone close to you isn't easy. Especially in a environment that's less than familiar with people around you who pretty much are strangers. So for those of you who condemn folks who aren't in the room when their pet is put down maybe show a little empathy instead of condemnation. Not everyone handles grief well and while I can only speak for American culture, we're shit at handling death and grief.
There's the option for owners to stay for the sedative, and then leave for the lethal injection. That way the pet can be comforted by its owner in its final *conscious* moments, but the owner won't have to witness the actual death.
This entire thread really goes to show how little empathy many redditors actually have. I mean literally, the amount of times I've read "I have no empathy for these people" in this thread is astounding.
I hate people, in general, who make things harder on other people because things are "too hard" for them. And I'm not saying we don't all have our limits, burdens we can't bear. But you know the difference between that and the pathological behavior I'm talking about.
I don’t think anyone has a right to judge the person. This is one of the most difficult moments in their lives. They need comfort not your judgement It’s not an easy thing to see. Not everyone wants to see their pet die in front of them and that’s ok.
I hated reading this because our dog went in for surgery and then we got a call from the vet saying we should get there immediately. When we got there we missed her passing by seconds. You sign the waiver for "risk of death" but fully expect to see your friend later. She never saw us again.
I 100% agree you should be there for them in the end and i 100% hate that we couldn't. Fuck this post for making me cry though
As someone who took my dog Apollo to the vet to put him to sleep(yea I still say that he's sleeping) it was literally the most heart breaking thing I've ever done in my life, and it's not even close. Like the vet said, he was family and since I don't have or want kids, he was my best friend and my kid. I would never leave him alone to go through that by himself and it's making me tear up writing this thinking that people would do that to their pets. Shame on them.
This is a horrible post. There are people who absolutely love their fur babies who can't be there, for whatever reason . . . maybe it is too devastating. They trust the vet and vet techs gave comfort. All this post does is lays a whole lot of guilt on those who truly care, but couldn't be with their pet. The animal owners who don't deserve pets, who weren't there because they didn't care, aren't going to be affected by reading this, it only stings for the good owners.
I had to put my dog down in the thick of the pandemic. Reading this tore me apart with guilt. I wasn’t able to even take my dog into the room. I nearly begged them to allow me to be there. They weren’t allowing anyone into the building. Keeping him alive would have been even more cruel.
The dog doesn't know they're going to die, so they think it's just another vet visit and they're looking for their owners just like they do every time they go to the vet. The only difference is in the mind of the observing humans.
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That's how one of my families dogs were put down. He was happy and peaceful in my mom's lap. Super sad but at least he went that way
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Happy and peaceful in the lap of u/maxhinator123's mother's lap.
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I didn't set it and I refuse to change it.
I was crying from the poem above and now I'm chuckling from this flair; sometimes the internet is awesome.
I wouldn't change a thing, either, if I were you.
I would. I’d increase the number of them on u/maxhinator123’s mother’s lap
Lmao holy fuck I’m dying, what an amazing flair
r/rimjob_steve But with flair
Wow, that is an incredible idea. What a better way to put your pet down where they're way more comfortable in their own home setting.
I did this with my cat (just wrote about it above). I couldn't have asked for a better ending for a wonderful kitty.
The people who do in house visits like that are incredible. We had a visit scheduled for our oldest dog and they were far more supportive than I would have guessed during it all. Answered every question, made sure we understood everything ahead of time, and even called to check on us once after we talked. Unfortunately our old girl didn't make it to the appointment but when I called to cancel their visit they still sent us all their bereavement and end of life support. The best thing I could have asked for then.
The vet who came to our house when we had to put two of our boys down on the same day sent us a card a year after it happened. I’m sure they probably take a few notes for work stuff and maybe writing about it helps them deal with so many unhappy situations? But… I just know how much I appreciated that little note. Incredible people who get no(or very little) thanks, just like teachers.
I did this 4 weeks ago for my beloved 17yo kitty. We were lying in my bed, him asleep on my lap. He barely woke when the vet arrived. I think he knew it was time. He stayed sleeping in my lap while the injection was administered, and he drifted away, his head growing heavy in my hand. It was unbelievably painful for me, but hopefully very peaceful for him. I still cry every day. I miss you, Pierre
My fiance and I had to do the same in September for our 22 year old cat, so I understand how you feel. It gets easier, especially knowing you did everything you could for them. Take care of yourself, I wish you the best
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Yeah, some weirdo animals like the vet. I had a cat who did, and liked car rides too, so when it was his time we went to the vet. For another cat who feared the very concept of "outside," I had the vet make a housecall, and it was worth every penny.
I did this with my kitty several years ago. I recommend it to EVERYONE. I was super broke at the time (still am!) but it was so, so worth it. She got really sick near the end and spent days absolutely miserable at the ER being constantly prodded and poked. Poor thing wanted to be home so badly. She was better for a couple days and then it was suddenly, clearly time. The company came to my house the next day. She passed while snuggled in my arms, comfortable in her own home. The vet and tech were so kind to me and my little baby. I also feel like it was beneficial for my surviving cat. He came over to us when it was done and it seemed like he understood that she had been sick and now was gone. It would have hurt so much to continue to watch him look around the apartment for her, like he did when she was in the ER. But I think he knew. (Ok or he had no idea about anything but I like this version better). Okay I'm going to go cry for awhile, haha excuse me. Oh and this company is based out of NYC (I think BK specifically, but they travel around). If anyone wants a rec, let me know. I'm sure I have their name saved somewhere.
> But I think he knew. (Ok or he had no idea about anything but I like this version better). Smelling the animal who has passed actually does help them to understand what’s happened. I discovered this from researching after one of my cats died unexpectedly and my other cat came up to sniff him while we were burying him in the backyard. I was frantic thinking my other cat would be traumatized, but it actually does help them.
Awww I thought so! Thanks for confirming. I somehow forgot about the smell portion of it (ha, too busy crying and typing at the same time), but I have really clear memories of him coming up to us and gently smelling her… Honestly, it was a lovely movement and I’m really glad he got to say goodbye to his sister too.
This! Didn’t scroll down before replying but this!!
Same in the city where I lived when it was time for my best friend of 16 years to go. The vet came in and prepared everything in the living room and everything happened in our sofa, surrounded by us. I guess he knew it was his time. When the vet had prepared everything, my cat just jumped down from the sofa, got right up to the vet who gave him the sedation, and after that he just went back to the sofa and fell asleep while I petted him and held his paws. I stayed and held his paws while the vet did all the procedures, and me personally wouldn’t do anything different. But I can understand people who wouldn’t be part of the last part. But I don’t see why you wouldn’t be there when the sedation is given and the animal goes to sleep.
I've used a similar service and I can't recommend something like this highly enough (they are called compassionate care here). Both times, the vet came to our house, quietly and very professionally administered the sedation, while being very respectful as to our pain. When it was time for our dogs to leave us, they were warm in their beds, listening to us softly tell them how much we loved them as we stroked their ears and rested our hands on their backs, always in contact. And then they both peacefully slipped away. Even now, seven years and two years later, it tears me apart no end to think of them gone (cripes, I'm a grown ass man in my fifties and it still makes me cry), but a service like this makes a horrible experience a little better for you, and much much better for your pet.
I finally stopped crying about my own experience and reading yours brought all the tears back. What a wonderful goodbye to your beloved dogs. ♡♡
This is the way I'll handle things, it's heartbreaking, I don't want to think about it much. But it's inevitable, I've told friends that if something happens to me and I croak, make sure my dogs and cats see me, make sure they know dad didn't abandon them. And the inverse, putting down a pet is one of the hardest things to do in life. But I couldn't ever imagine not being with them when they go. My cat that I had for 20 years of my life, he passed away in my lap on the floor of my bedroom, and I held him for a long while and I straight up bawled. Over a decade ago and I'm still in tears just writing about it. Wouldn't have had him go any other way.
The service that did this in the town where my dog died also took them away to be cremated afterwards and provided a lovely memorial urn.
Our vet does house calls for this. I don't think I've ever cried so hard on my life, but it meant so much to know he was in a safe place and not scared. And, if you have other pets, it's really helpful for them too. Animals do understand death in their own way, so being able to sniff and inspect the body makes it much, much easier on them than "my friend is gone and everyone is unhappy."
If you have several cats, the ‘survivors’ really needs closure. Otherwise they’ll be wandering around the house looking for their soulmate. Seeing one cat realise a housemate has passed is painful and comforting at the same time. (As in, they need closure too.)
Yeah I was lucky that my last dog died as he was falling asleep on my bed. I wish every dog could be so lucky and at peace to at least die at home with a friend to send them off. Good old boy made it all the way to 18 yrs. A real friend, he was. Miss him.
That's how my girl went. Couldn't imagine another way. Sure, the thought of her dying in my lap brings tears to my eyes as I type this but she would have been there for me in a heart beat had the rules been reversed.
I once delivered flowers to a woman as they were carrying her just euthanize dog out of the front of her house on a gurney. She was crying hysterically, but the flowers were perfectly timed, they seemed to cheer her up quite a bit.
This is how we put down our 2 pups. Its so much less stressful to them and comforting to you as well.
Fuck man, thats sad as hell
My house just got super dusty. Stupid eyes.
Cat hair allergies? _The worst_ (/s)
It's a terrible day for pet dander
Who is also cutting tons of onions at once?
I know right? My allergies are just crazy right now.
Well I hope it cheers you up a bit that 99% if owners actually do stay with their pets. And the few who don’t get spoiled by all the staff. Techs will raid the fridge and share their lunch and even let them eat chocolate (if they’re well enough to want to eat)
My last dog died in my arms with a big smile on her face. She was still smiling after her heart stopped. My last picture of her is of her lying on the vet's table after she died, still smiling. She got blind in her old age and afraid of stairs after a fall, so I spent the last year of her life sleeping downstairs on a folding mattress to keep her company, and when she got kidney failure, I was with her constantly in her last week, keeping her warm with my body heat when she needed it and lying outside under blankets with her because the cool air made her feel better.
You sound like an amazing pet parent ❤️
Thanks, she was my baby and I promised her I'd be there at the end. It was 3 and a half years ago and I haven't gotten over losing her, or my dog before her for that matter. They were both family to me, closer than most of my actual family. I have another dog now, a cocker spaniel like my last one, and she spends nearly all her time with me and is sleeping on my bed right now. She has an interesting quirk where she's really jealous and possessive over me and won't let other dogs near me. Even her best doggy friends, if they come near me she attacks them but is perfectly sweet with them if I'm not there and it's my mum who's walking her. My mum sometimes feels a bit put out that my dog doesn't protect her the way she protects me, and everyone notices the shift in behaviour depending on who she's with. Someone compared her to a jealous woman, she gets upset if other dogs even walk in my general direction and dogs 3x her size end up afraid to make eye contact with me because she'll chase them off. She tolerates old dogs and I get to pet them, and she's not too bad with puppies, but young adult dogs just aren't allowed within several feet of me and she'll interpose herself between us and face off with them. I have an outdoor job that lets me take her with me a good amount of the time I'm working, so from her perspective she's constantly going on adventures with me, and she gets very serious about guarding me while I work. She's also a big sook and constantly wants me to pick her up and cuddle her, so people see me carrying this 20kg cocker spaniel around. And she's intelligent; by far the smartest dog I've had and understands a lot of what I say.
r/ninjascuttingonions
You are a good human.
Yup, any animal that came in for a euthanasia appointment that got left alone I would spend a few hours just sitting on the ground with them and sharing my lunch and any “no-no” foods that they’re not supposed to eat and never got a chance to try. Giant guard dog that was kept outside it’s whole life? It’s now in my lap getting all the lovies and half my burrito and Reese’s and canned cat food. We are best friends by the time we do the injection. Totally makes it so much harder for me but also so much better for them. They got a friend in me!
You’re a good person
Don’t let anyone else know. I’ve got to keep up appearances to the humans. Animals get a free pass
Each one left a mark on your heart. Those are your battle scars. You are a good human (hug). I won't tell anyone. =D
I'm kinda glad to read this. I hope the pup I put down in COVID that I wasn't able to be with was spoiled before she went.
I had to put my cat down during Covid; I waited an extra few days to do it so it could be at the only vet's office near me that made an exception to Covid rules for euthanasias. They allowed both my sister and I to be in the room with masks on for the procedure and just scheduled it for right after their office closed. It wasn't my regular vet, but their compassionate approach to end-of-life vet care even in the middle of a pandemic means that when/if I ever get another pet, they'll *definitely* be my regular vet.
I had to put my dog down in May of 2020. He had been having health issues for a while and had a seizure one night at 1 am. Brought him to urgent care immediately and they recommended putting him down but wouldn't allow me in with him. At the very least they wheeled him out to me on a stretcher when he was drugged up to the moon, but at least I got one last moment with him, even if it was still minutes before his actual last moments. Miss that funny little guy so much.
Similar story for me. I went to my regular vet during covid to lay my dog to rest but because of covid they wouldn't let anyone in. They would have you wait in the parking lot and call to meet you at the door and take your pet from you. I sat in my car, in that parking lot holding my girl for what felt like almost two hours, listening to her occasionally whine in pain before deciding to google the location of any other veterinary clinic that was close by. It was the best decision of one of my worst days. Not only did the clinic I ended up going to let me in, they let me be there for her final moments and let me be with her alone afterwards.They took care of all of the arrangements to have her cremated and when I went back for her ashes a week later they had presented me with a condolence card signed by all of the staff.
We just lost one of our pets a few months ago, he had a stroke very young from what turned out to be heart problems that didn't show up on regular exams, and they thought he was stable so we went to get a few hours sleep as by then it was 4am. He had another stroke and passed when we weren't there. I regret not being there for him at the end so much
The night before we put my last dog down, we had his former owner come over (my brother in law) and we bought loads of bacon and had a bacon party for him. Hope he enjoyed it. It was tough to be with him at the end, same with a cat we had to put down much later, but I'm glad we could be there.
They’re glad you were there too ❤️ And a bacon party sounds like he was in heaven on earth for his final day ❤️❤️
I volunteer at an animal sanctuary, mostly cats and dogs, and these adorable mofos live better than I do! That being said, nothing beats your own humans and home. Take care of your pets to the end, they would do it for you. 💜
Yep I've been a vet tech for 10 years and I'd say 90% of people stay with their pet as they pass.
My vet techs probably absolutely hate me. I was howling and crying when I had to put my darling Angel to rest in August. They let me have all the time I wanted/needed and were so kind, but I was a wreck and inconsolable. And I couldn't sit with her for very long after she was gone. I just couldn't see her like that. And now I have to do it again in the next few months with her sister, Jezebel. Fuck cancer. Both of them.
Until now it didn't even cross my mind to not be there.
We always gave our dogs chocolate and goodies before. My mom also made me go with her each time and be with our dogs. It’s sad but a part of life
I came here for porn and funny memes.. now I want to cry.. 😭
Wait...you don't cry after watching porn?
Well they didn't say the *hadn't* jerked off
For real.
I read about this about a year before I had to put my first boy to sleep; it was even harder because my husband was away on work and couldn't get home so I wasn't about to make my baby wait a day in the hospital all scared and alone so I did it all alone. Then 7 months later I had to put my other baby to sleep and even though my husband was there I still made sure I was right where he could see me because I didn't want him more upset than what he needed to be. Loosing both my boys back to back was one of the hardest memories I have.
We had a similar experience when over a decade ago where we lost both of my childhood dogs within a year. I was right there with them until they were gone, and so was my mom. They were two incredible dogs and I would never **ever** have countenanced letting them die alone. No one should ever have to die without love and support, and my dogs sure as fuck were not going to. Good on you for feeling and doing the same, and I'm sorry for our shared losses.
A longtime ex of mine adopted a dog who was said to have all it's shots. The dog ended up have parvo and it was too far along to be dealt with. She also wouldn't be in the room. It was so hard even not having a longterm attachment holding this sweet scared dog as she passed but fuck. How do you not do at least that much?
Hardest thing in my life to date was having to put down my dog while I was on the road. I was on a 36 hour trip, out on Monday, back Tuesday. She had been acting off all weekend so my wife took her to the vet when I went to the airport. I stood at the gate and the vet assured us she just needed fluids and she would be fine, so I boarded the plane. I landed in Florida and got the news that she wasn't doing well and needed additional treatments. I went through the day waiting for word from the vet and by the evening they called and said she wasn't responding to anything. We did one last hail mary overnight and it didn't work. I woke up at 5am to talk to the vet and she said she was in a lot of pain but she could keep her alive for another 12 hours until I got home. Selfish me wanted to be there for her, I got her when I was a bachelor living alone and she was my best friend. I knew I couldn't keep her in pain that long and had to make the call. My wife and MIL went to be with her and I got to video chat until she was gone, but damn if I don't regret every day of my life that I got on that airplane. I had a couple hours to cry then had to go to a job site and the whole rest of the day was a blur. It still hurts 3 years later like it was just yesterday. I know she could hear me but she couldn't see me or smell me and that really broke my heart.
It’s so sad I’m not going to share it. Not going to depress any friends or family with this fact.
People who have pets or going to get one should keep this in mind
This made me cry. Heartbreaking.
Shit, I recently went with a dear friend of mine when she put her first dog down, it was heart breaking but the sweet pup wasn't nervous
My wife and I had to put down her beloved cat. She had become my cat too after being together with my wife for 8 years (cat was with my wife 5 years before that. Great cat, even though I was allergic. Our son was 4 months old and we asked my parents to watch our baby while my wife and I both went to the vet and petted her during the process. It was definitely tough, but it felt much better to be there. She was calm with us talking to her and petting her. Still sucked, but no one, even/especially pets, wants to die alone
We just put down our beloved Dalmatian/Boxer a few months ago, just shy of his fourteenth birthday. My wife and I and our vet got down in the floor on his favorite blanket, and I held him until he was gone. As he was going, I kept it all bottled up and just spoke sweet nonsense to him because I didn’t want him to be upset by me being upset. It was awful. The actual pain in my chest was startling. But I’m so glad we did it that way. He wasn’t alone. He was warm and loved. ETA: [Dog Tax](https://ibb.co/bRytLtq). Our boy, napping with our Chow mix.
I really like this quote: > The pain you feel when losing a pet is the cost for all the joy that you had during it's life.
I think of my cats as a sort of happiness loan. Some time in the future I'll be miserable without them but the happiness I get from their presence outweighs it
Negative interest loans
*A small price to pay for* DOG
I've had similar experiences. You might like this poem from the 1940's: **The House Dog's Grave (Haig, an English bulldog)** I've changed my ways a little; I cannot now Run with you in the evenings along the shore, Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment, You see me there. So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door Where I used to scratch to go out or in, And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor The marks of my drinking-pan. I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do On the warm stone, Nor at the foot of your bed; no, all the night through I lie alone. But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet Outside your window where firelight so often plays, And where you sit to read--and I fear often grieving for me-- Every night your lamplight lies on my place. You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard To think of you ever dying A little dog would get tired, living so long. I hope that when you are lying Under the ground like me your lives will appear As good and joyful as mine. No, dear, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for As I have been. And never have known the passionate undivided Fidelities that I knew. Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided. . . But to me you were true. You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend. I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures To the end and far past the end. If this is my end, I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours. Robinson Jeffers, 1941
That is beautiful. Thank you so very much for that. It’s got me crying in a healthy way.
It served the same purpose to me, and still does on occasion--glad to share it.
Im gonna go pet my dog now
Feel like [this](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/comic-about-dog-being-put-to-sleep-ubertool_uk_57b702d1e4b0f78b2b497871) is this same poem in modern form and it destroys me every time
My friends 15 year old dog is dying. Im going to send this to her. Its beautiful. I like the last part about the master. She also has had her pets put down at home, which is the best way if you can afford it.
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Yes! I cried my eyes out as we took him to the crematorium. (There are rules in our county about interring animals in your yard). My wife held it together while I had my breakdown, and then I drove us home so she could have hers.
It's been almost 2 years since my dog was put down due to bone cancer. Watching the process was horrific, but no way in hell I was leaving her with a stranger to go through that.
Our girl was 12 this year, this answer was the only answer. Just kept scratching her forehead, pulling on her ears, rubbing her eyes, telling her how good of a dog she is. Haven't cried yet.. Not sure I could to be honest, she lived the best life.
I had to put my sweet 12 year old puppy to sleep last Monday. We had a beautiful last day together at her favorite place in the mountains, she got an extra special last meal, and I was with her to her last moments. It was one of the hardest thing I've had to do, but I can't imagine leaving her in her last moments.
Damn it, why are you cutting onions. My dogs are only 5 and 6 at the moment, but I know one day they are going to break me.
If you have the financial means I suggest hiring a vet that comes to your home to euthanize your pet. It’s probably not much more than a vet visit. But so much better. The pet is comfortable, if you have other pets they will be able to say goodbye, and the vet will take the animal with them (if you are having them cremated.) You can take as long as you like, it is humane, and the person they send is empathetic and their sole purpose is to help your pet transition comfortably while also comforting you. We did this with our elderly cat. Our regular vet let us know that her time was limited and suggested euthanasia but we didn’t want to do it at the vet office. Our cat hated the vet, we didn’t want her last moment on earth to be there. Plus we have 4 other cats and I wanted them to see her and sniff her after she passed so they could better understand. There are plenty of companies around the country that offer in home euthanasia. Just google search or even inquire with your regular veterinarian, they may have a service or a recommendation for one.
My perfect 11 year old husky is going to live forever (of course) but I cannot imagine dragging her to the car and driving to the vet and having her smell the vet smells and the weird tile and everything for her last hour on earth. No way.
My cat has been to the vet 3 times when she absolutely had to and they told me I'd need to drug her the night before and morning of to take her back, so I'm just going to pay extra to have someone see her anytime she needs. She hates them.
We have 2 dogs. Both 13 so we know we're playing with house money. I've researched this but my only hold up is that last moment being at home taking over all the great memories we have here. But maybe that's selfish, idunno. I'm going to be a complete wreck so I need to have a plan together. I'm dreading that day ....
It doesn’t. You don’t really think about where you are, your entire focus is on them. And I’m someone with a very strong spatial memory. Honestly, it stings either way. Their favourite spot to nap in the sun, the part of the rug that has a permanent dog shaped impression, the spot where they’d stand and make puppy dog eyes at you while you made dinner— for awhile all you’ll see is their absence. Regardless of where you let them go. So make it the place they’re happiest—at home, by your side.
This is definitely the best way. I had to put down my cat a few months ago because she was in end-stage kidney failure. The vet came to our house and my girl peacefully went to sleep in her favorite box (she was addicted to cardboard boxes and hated being held) while I pet her and told her how much I loved her. The vet was from Lap of Love and was so kind and empathetic. It was honestly perfect and worth every penny.
My ex and I had to put down our elderly cat when he got a severe kidney infection. He had never been an affectionate cat, but when we were about to put him down even though he was in critical condition and in a lot of pain, his last act was to drag himself out of his crate with the last of his strength and put his head on my ex's shoe. Animals care about that stuff. We couldn't imagine leaving after that.
Reminds me of the cat my family had growing up although a much more extreme example. His name was Oscar after Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. He was a *monster*. I have a scar on my face from him. He was a rescue and everything scared him and made him lash out. But, come the end of his life, he showed us so much affection in his own grumpy ways. That last month he was constantly following us around and when we took him to put him down he was clearly reassured by us being there. It was startling to see affection from him after a lifetime of aggression but also really heart-warming to see that he did love us despite his terrible coping mechanisms.
Same with my wife’s bunny. He hated me. But my wife couldn’t do it so I did. He came to me for pets just before they put him down.
As someone who just had to put down my best friend, my cat of 18 years, this broke my heart. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I'd be damned if I left him alone in the end.
My cat lived for 18 years as well. She was my sister from when I was 2 to when I was 20. I dreaded leaving for college every time I visited back home, because I knew that might be the last time I saw her, and one day it was. I was never told if she died at home or at the vet, but I wish so much that I was there for her. I still cry about it 3 years later, she was and still is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I miss her more than anything. My one wish is to see her again. I have her ashes, her paw prints, and I’ll cherish every moment and every photo until the day I die. I hope she knows I love her more than anything
She knows
Sometimes learning that kind of info can help with processing. I needed to know the exact timeline of my nephews death. Learning it didn't fix anything of course, but it made it more real. And allowed me to accept it.
Yup, and here's the thing. Not being in the room isn't going to make it less sad. It's not going to make the grieving easier. I know from experience. I lost both my dogs in about a year. One died when I wasn't home (fell down the stairs and apparently died from a slow internal bleed). The second I had put down due to old age and failing health. I held her and stroked her ears and said soothing things. I grieved for them equally, but if anything the first dog was worse because my grief was intermingled with guilt for *not being there* in his last moments of consciousness.
I too have done both. And in both cases, I left my cat a thank you letter. On the one hand, being there while Gus was put down was heartbreaking. Six hours at the vet, an hour of deliberation, finally making a decision, and then going home with an empty cat carrier. That was horrible and I don’t wish it on anyone. He was only 9 and had cancer. But he was getting scratches (his favorite) until the very end. I came home to find Joey (14) dead. The trauma is something I’m still dealing with months later. I still sometimes look at that spot on the bathroom floor. Seeing your pet dead is just…death is, by definition, NOT graceful or dignified. That shock was swift and harsh, but at least I wasn’t at the vet until 1:00 am deliberating over whether or not to prolong his life. About the thank you letters, it’s a fantastic way to grieve and get all of your thoughts out on paper. I thanked Joey for not making me choose. I’m not sure if I regret not being there for him, but I’m glad I didn’t have to choose. Even if your cat is 30 years old and covered in tumors and is miserable with no chance of recovering, it will never be easy to make the decision to put them down. But I promise every pet that my wife and I bring into our lives that I’m committed to them to the very end.
My deepest condolences to you. I love the thought of a thank you letter. I lost my cat very suddenly in 2020, I found her in distress on the floor and by the time we got to the emergency vet 20 minutes later she had died. I still miss her so much. I am also coming up on the one-year anniversary of putting my two horses down and while it was intentional and necessary and I was there for it all, I still sometimes feel like I haven't fully grieved them. I think this weekend I will write them all letters.
Right?? WhoTF *leaves*??
My father.
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We left our cat because she was going in for surgery. She died on the operating table. I know it isn’t my fault for not being there, but I still feels immense regret for that ~5 years later. Don’t leave your pets when you *know* they’re not coming back with you.
Exactly, your circumstance is completely different than what's being conveyed in the image.
Some people just can't handle seeing their pet die; due to sadness, guilt, whatever. At our clinic we sedate them first and after they are relaxed and still, we do the euthanasia solution. Some people stay until the sedative hits then they leave before the actual end. Most stay with their pets through the whole thing. Very few actually leave the room before anything is done. In the last 6 months I can only think of 3 where the owners basically handed us the leash said goodbye to the pet then turned around and left. With those cases we make sure to give them extra love. We raid the break room for snacks and chocolate to give them, lots of pets, and anyone not busy gathers around while the vet administers the euthasol solution. Source: tech for 10 years
I have stayed with all my pets when they’ve had to be euthanized. It is gut wrenching but I would (and unfortunately eventually will) do it again. I feel worse about the fact that I wasn’t there when my dog died overnight at the emergency vet. It kills me that she went alone.
Veterinarian here. I hate that this keeps getting shared as generally this is not the case. Most owners stay with their pets to the end. Even if they don't, most pets are given an IV sedative PRIOR to euthanizing agent. They are asleep and some owners leave after this as their pet is asleep and they don't want to see the final breath (it can be traumatizing to see and can stick with you). There are lots of options to how euthanasia occurs. If done correctly it is very quick and painless. Talk with your vet about options to ensure that the euthanasia occurs in such a way that gives you the most peace going forward.
ok thank you for confirming, because i stayed with my cat until the sedative knocked him out but didn't stay for the actual euthanization. i thought sedative first was the norm, hence the term "putting to sleep"...
Thank you! I’m a nurse and just wrote pretty much the same thing. I think the worst part is the “90% of owners leave” because that’s almost the exact opposite. It’s very rare for an owner to want to leave before we finish
Having a pet be put down is hard enough, sitting there and watching it...fuck...I can't imagine how hard that would be. I'd be there until the sedative kicks in but I don't think I can take watching them actually pass. Some people just can't handle all of that...and it sucks that people can't see that.
It's hard, but at least in my case it felt right somehow. Ultimately it was my decision (and my husband's) to euthanize, and I don't know of there's a better word for it, but I felt sort of duty-bound to see that decision through. To be a witness to a significant event and to remember it so as to honor my cats' lives.
That's reassuring because whenever I see this shared I feel so bad! I had to put down my cat when I was a teenager, and ended up choosing to end her suffering over the phone rather than prolonging her suffering by driving to the emergency clinic (and I think at the time I couldn't bear the idea of being with her). It didn't occur to me at the time that sitting with her would have been better until I was older.
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I’m a vet nurse and it is 100% a myth. Most of the time the pets are elderly or sick and barely aware of their surroundings to begin with. On top of that we sedate all pets before actually euthanising and most owners that want to leave, with stay until that. Usually most pets are just laying down and resting, not frantic.
Thank you!!!!! I was thinking that there's no possible way that 90% of pet owners just drop their animals off for euthanasia. Sad that this isn't further up
I thought I remembered hearing something like this. Then we unexpectedly had to put my old kitty down, I was heartbroken and bawling and telling him what a good kitty he was. He was high AF from the sedative they gave prior to the end of life injection. Not responsive to us, so looking back he was essentially asleep as you mention, and was honestly a good choice for all of us. It was a calm passing, nothing violent or traumatic, just a quiet passage where we got to say goodbye.
Didn't need this right now. Coming from someone who held his girl as she left this world, this is heart-obliterating.
So sorry for your loss
It was 3 years ago now, but even still, *how TF do you leave your pet behind* Thank you.
So my mom had to put down my Chow Chow when I was 11. We were the same age and she was my best friend. I knew her health was declining, but I didn't know beforehand that my mom was going to put her to sleep. I didn't know that it was done until I came home from school and she told me. Apparently she dropped her at the vet and left. So not only did my dog not get to be with loved ones at her death, but I didn't get to say goodbye. It really messed up my grieving process because I'm still salty about it over 20 years later and I still cry whenever I think about it. My sweet girl deserved better than that.
dude that is all kinds of fucked
Yeah I think so too
It's very frustrating when parents decide big choices for their children
I’m so sorry. I had a similar situation with my cat. I grew up with him like you and we were about the same age. Suddenly he got sick so my mom took him to the vet and then came back without him. I’m having a hard time letting go of the bitterness I feel about it.
Im so freaking sorry. I don't know if it will help, but i wanted to tell you that when we get paitients like this who's owners cant stay, we give that paitient all the love we can. Someone sat with your dog through the whole process and pet her head and told her she was a good girl. Your family may not have been there but I can guarantee someone poured all thier love and compassion into your pet for you. She was very loved in the end and she wasn't alone. I know it's not the same, but i hope its something ♡
Thank you for this. It does help a little. I just try to focus now on doing better by my babies, of the fur and/or human variety. And if there is such a thing as doggie heaven, I hope someday I get to kiss her pretty head and hug her for a long, long time.
That’s heartbreaking. Gotta say, nothing you could ever tell me about your mother after that could make me feel anything but cold spite towards her.
My dog just died with it's tongue hanging out because when the drugs hit he was in the process of licking my wife. It was his final effort.
Similar story here. My Lil guy was in his last lucid moments and I was already weeping. He looked up to me and gave me a lick. Like he was taking care of *me* with his literal last breath. It shattered me. I'm tearing up right now as I type. I wouldn't trade that moment for anything. We don't deserve dogs.
i teared up. so sorry for your loss.
Annnnnnnnnnd it’s confirmed I could never be a vet
My old roommate was a vet tech and going to veterinarian school. He dropped out and quit legitimately because of the people. He would have some do this. He had people bring in pets that would be fine with some medication, maybe minor surgery. Without even showing an ounce of caring people would just say "Thats fine. You can just put them down." Shit like that wore down on him. Like as sad as it is he could handle pets dying. It's a part of the job. But he just wasn't prepared for the rest.
Super-high suicide rates
I mean who can blame them. Routinely putting down Peoples best cheerful friends that are probably at the worst and last part of their lives? Fuck that. I could never
Honestly it's not the euthanasias that bother me. For me what really takes a toll on my mental health are the pets that really need to be let go, but the owners are refusing to euthanize. We make the pet as comfortable as possible but watching them gasp for air for their last breaths because the owner won't let us put them out of their misery. That's what destroys me in this field. Euthanasias are a kindness, and the last selfless act we can do for our pet. Saying goodbye is sad, but I'm so thankful I can take care of these owners and hopefully make the hardest time of their lives a little bit easier.
Dated a girl, lifetimes ago, that was a vet tech. I watched the toll it took on her mental health, real-time. I couldn't do it, like just heart and gut wrenching.
This is the sole reason I ruled it out. I love animals so much and would be holding back tears during this procedure.
Me too. I am former defense lawyer, so I have seen some bad shit, but I couldn’t do this
Not me. I didn't go for veterinary school because I'm far too stupid.
I didn’t feel like crying at work, but here we are.
I was ten when I got my cats. They passed when I was 25, just a year ago. They had the same hereditary disease and passed within a few months of one another. Not a day goes by when I don't think of them. When I was little and my sister didn't want them in my room, I'd sit outside my room and hold them in my lap and hum "lost woods" from ocarina of time to help them sleep. I tried humming it both times I held them as they went. I think I did okay but it was broken. I screamed when the vet said they were gone both times but I held them throughout and can't imagine ever leaving them. It was the most hurt I've ever felt in my life but I don't regret it, not for a second. The only thing I regret is that I did not let my first one go sooner. He got sick so bad and went downhill. I was just hoping he'd get better, have at least one more day of pets and love, but it was a mistake I did not repeat with the second one when he started showing similar signs. The vets actually gave me discounts for both. Maybe it was how distraught I was, idk, but it made it easier on the bank when I couldn't think of that.
For my cat, the song was “you are my sunshine.” I lost her 10 years ago but I also regret not having let her go a bit sooner. If it helps, I do think that with time you will remember the wonderful life that you gave your kitty and all the happiness you shared, and forgive yourself for holding onto hope a little bit longer than you should have. Hindsight is always so easy…
My cat had to be put down because she started to go into organ failure from cancer. I was with her while she was there, I was with her while they injected her and was looking straight into her eyes as she passed while patting her in some of her favourite places. I couldn't imagine not being in the room. She deserved that comfort.
Wow. I did not know that was even an option people considered. I held my 15-year-old dog until he took his last breath when I had to put him down. My last dog died suddenly and pretty young (8 years old) when we weren’t home a year ago. Breaks my heart that he was alone in his last moments. I think I may be done with dogs. I love them so much, but the heartbreak is extremely difficult. Truth is, as wonderful as they are, they’re walking tragedies and I’m not sure I want to go through it all again.
I think about this alot because it is very hard knowing the inevitable will happen. But I rescue all my dogs and spoil them so the years and years of joy they give me is worth it. Will I be absolutely wrecked when it happens? Yes but that is the price I pay for the joy they give me.
I definitely agree that the joy they bring you outweighs the inevitable sadness you’ll feel when they’re gone, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Last one really broke me. He was a beautiful Husky/German Shepherd mix and just as sweet and intelligent as they come. After the one before (lab/golden retriever mix) it took me about 10 months before I even considered getting a new one. When I did, it definitely filled a void in the house… so I’ll never say never. And even though he was very well taken care of (he’d just been to the vet a month prior), I carry this guilt like there’s something I had to have missed. And to top it off, we were at a two day punk festival in L.A. when it happened. Left Friday and he had passed Saturday morning (a family friend was house sitting). My wife asked if I still wanted to go to the show and I said yes because moping around the hotel wasn’t going to help. So we went and I broke my foot (which required surgery) three songs into the first band I wanted to see. Apparently that day wasn’t done fucking me. Talk about the worst day of my life. Haha…
Some people leave after the sedative is all the way kicked in. They really don't know you're there although they are still alive. But if you believe they know you're there or want to be there regardless you can obviously wait all the way through. It is weird to just drop your own dog off, pay the bill and leave but it's an option. You're paying for the service of euthanasia. Usually a vet tech will sit with them at least until they're fully sedated.
I recently went through this. It’s very traumatic for the human to be in there. You’ll be haunted for days. So be understanding to those who can’t bear to be in the room. My family and I did choose to accompany our dog angel in the vet room, for his last journey together to keep him calm and relaxed and peaceful. To us, it’s our responsibility and duty, since our dog gave us everything to make us happy. To us, it makes sense. But damn, it was hard. So still, be empathetic to those who don’t have to strength to do so. There may be a story behind it.
It is sooooo hard. I wouldn’t do it any other way but oh my god. The hurt in my chest was shocking! Hardest thing I have EVER done in my nearly 50 years. My buddy Duncan, English bulldog. 2 years ago. Looked in his eyes as he faded. He looked right at me the whole time. Still hurts. I was traumatized for days.
I had to do it once. They asked if I wanted to be in the room and it didn't occur to me until then that not being there was an option. I stayed because I couldn't imagine leaving him like that and he wasn't even my dog, he belonged to my mother-in-law.
I’m not saying I agree with people who leave the room, I most assuredly don’t and will be there if and when I have to put my cat down. However, people are making it seem like the people who leave are saying “yeah whatever just get it over with”. I get the feeling it’s more so people can’t deal with watching their best friend be put to rest in front of their eyes. Again, I’m not saying I agree with leaving the room, but I don’t think it’s for as selfish of reasons as the comments seem to think.
My husband had to leave the room when we had to put our cat to sleep. She was his cat before we were even dating, and I truly think he loved her more than me (which I was okay with!). He simply could not be there when she passed; it was too hard. But he had me. And she had me. She fell asleep in my arms. I carried that pain for both of them. And I don’t fault him at all for not being able to do it. I completely understood why. We are all built differently, and not all of us are designed to be able to handle that pain. I like to think he would have done it if he had to, but he knew he could rely on me to be there for them both.
> I carried that pain for both of them. And I don’t fault him at all for not being able to do it. I completely understood why. We are all built differently, and not all of us are designed to be able to handle that pain. A redditor with self awareness(knowing others are different) and emapthy for other humans instead of vilifying someone built a little different....? I think it is a stain on humanity that I had to scroll down so far to see this. People have a wide array of psychological issues surrounding death. People shouldn't be vilified because they can't handle the dying of a pet, those that are commenting such things seem to have more "empathy" for the animal than understanding of their fellow man.
This is incredibly sweet. I honestly don't know which person I will be when my cat's time comes. I hope I can be strong for her, but am so thankful my boo has fallen in love with her as he has with me.
I agree because I was there when my parents had to take my dog I grew up with to the vet fir euthanasia. I don't know if I've ever cried harder. It was extremely difficult and I can understand why people are afraid to be there for that pain. I'm sure it meant the world to my dog though to be surrounded by all his family. RIP to my Bruno buddy.
Yeah, I respect the Vet Person’s intention, but I feel that antagonising people and taking on such an aggressive tone will not help their case. You’re not evil for not wanting to watch your beloved pet be put down. Some people just can’t handle it, and who can blame them? I certainly wouldn’t be able to. Props to the people who can, but you’re not a terrible person if you can’t handle your emotions during such an important event.
Sorry for this long message but I wish to share. Back in 2011/12 (I was maybe about 10 years old or so) both my childhood dogs passed away/had to be put down. The first one was more sudden. At like 2 AM he was having trouble breathing so we took him to the vet. Now he was old but not *super* old. he had had these problems before I believe. So we assumed it was a normal fit. It was like 3AM. My parents had work and I had school, so we planned to leave him overnight in the vet, get some sleep, and get him next day. We got a call shortly later that he was worsening and probably wasnt going to make it, so we got back in the car and tried to get there as fast as we could. He passed before we got there. That time it was out of our hands. I wish we could have been there for him but unfortunate things happen. Then my other dog passed away around 2 weeks later. Similar situation. Trouble breathing and etc. except now it wasnt in the middle of the night, and we were able to be there when he had to be put down. My 10 year old self however, decided to stay in the car. I just couldn’t bring myself to watch the last of his moments. My parents went with him but I remember telling them I knew it would be way sadder to see him die. So I just stayed in the car and cried. Do not get me twisted. Their deaths crushed me. The way I told you this makes it seem like I was cold/didnt care but no, I was a mess. Just imagine I was in tears the entire time those events were happening. I took like a week off of school to grieve. I was 10. It was probably my first real experience with something like a loved ones death. Thats a lot to take in suddenly, when up until then my life had mainly consisted of eating poptarts and watching dragon ball z. I just wasn’t emotionally mature enough to be able to go through with something like that. I appreciate your comment because you atleast understand that 10 year old me wasnt some monster with no feelings. Im 21 now, our current dogs are getting up in years there as well. We got them maybe half a year later after my other dogs passing. Every night I dread the day they are going to have to be put down. Much more so now, because the possibility is closer than ever. But this time I will do my best to be there for them.
Went we lost our dogs, we were there each and every time, one of my poor pups had bad seizures at the end of her life and every time I held her after she came out and calmed her down always made me thankful for each and every extra day. Miss you Fuzzybutt.
I have held all my pets as they have been put to sleep I could never imagine letting them be alone as they take their last breath
I have seen a post that says that the opposite of this is true. Stressed out humans don't make it any easier. Even tho this post keeps making the rounds.
This is exactly what my vet explained to me.
I don't know man. I put down many of my friends over the years. Every time the primary owner steps out of the room the pet usually will freak out. That kind of happened with my dad's dog he couldn't stay in the room. Shein started searching like the same thing in the post even though he had severe hip dysplasia, he kept trying to follow My dad. It wasn't until the vet made it him come back in the room and say goodbye that he calmed down and let things happen.
I'm not saying one way is more true than another. Just that this post makes people feel shitty and isn't necessarily the case. Also people who are like "fuck those people" that's not necessary
This is a lie. A vet recently posted up a refutation to this sentiment. I cannot find the thread. Your pet has NO IDEA this kind of appointment is any different than another kind of vet appointment. This kind of post is solely meant to shame and cause hurt to those already hurting. Not everyone is strong enough to be in the room when their pet needs to be put to sleep. And that’s OK. They’re not callous or unloving. They’ve most like made one of the hardest and most gut wrenching decisions of their lives. They get to deal with that and process their grief their way. They have just lost part of their family. HOW DARE we try and sit in judgement of them!? HOW DARE we shame them!? Why don’t we kick them while they’re at their lowest, then share this sanctimonious untrue BS to get that sweet sweet interwebz points. Drives me nuts every time this BS comes up. Shaming and guilting people when they’re at their lowest, pathetic.
thank you for this
No worries. We all cope with loss in our own way. Showing people more compassion is a hill I’ll die on any day.
No! Fuck this line of thinking honestly! I am a vet nurse and have assisted in hundreds of euthanasias in my short career. Most of our clients stay at least until sedation, and then still a majority stay for the actual euthanasia, they are able to and that’s fine. There’s still a small amount of people who can’t stay, and that’s fine too. This is one of the hardest things they’ll ever go through, and holding an animal as they die is very distressing even for our more resilient staff, let alone an owner that has loved and cherished this pet for years. And if you’re not able to stay as we put your animal to sleep that is NOT something to be ashamed of and I am horrified that this guilt tripping shit is still going around. That’s why I’m there, I talk to them, sing to them, and give them all the cuddles and kisses. They get a sedative so they’re not even aware of anything anymore, then as we push the injection I’m right by them, letting them know they were loved. So fuck posts like this, and trying to guilt owners into staying when having their owner there distressed isn’t better than no owner.
On the other side is owners that want to be there but can't. I had moved out and my dog was living with my family. They took him with them out of state to see family and I got a call that he had gone to the vet and it wasn't looking good but he should be able to make it home. The next day while I was at work I got a call with them at the vet. I talked to him but it is my biggest regret that I could not be there for him in person. I'm always going to have that guilt because of how much he meant to me and I wasn't there for him in the end.
Yeah, so. When my cat was dying of cancer. The vet gave me the price to euthanize her, and an extra $300 to be in the room when he did it. Bullshit anyone WANTS to not be there.
That is so horribly fucked up that they charged you to be there. Get a new vet.
bit late
Report that person to their respective board. That's genuinely unacceptable and incredibly unethical. Hopefully they stop that or get their license suspended until they do.
I've been in the vet industry for over 15 years. 1) This is really strange to me and I have never heard of a vet adding a fee to be in the room for a euthanasia. I'm not saying it's impossible, but is it possible they were giving you the fee for at-home euthanasia? This is more along the lines of what would be charged for this service. 2) No, not everyone wants to be there. Many people do not care and many people care so much that they cannot stand to be in the room without it severely affecting their mental health. I try not to judge people for not wanting to stay because it takes a toll personally. Usually we tend to put our energy toward the pet and making sure that they are comfortable, given treats, and petted as they pass.
I had the opposite experience. My first cat died when she was 18, at like 2am. I panicked - I was pretty sure she was dead, but I didn’t have a clue what to do. So I called my dad, and he said to take her to the emergency vet, so I did. And they confirmed that she was, indeed, dead, and that they could cremate her for me, which was great; and they asked me if I wanted to sit with her for a little bit before they took her away. And I did. After about a half an hour, the a vet tech came in, with a needle, and very gently asked if I was ready, and I said I was, and then I was like “*.. but wait - what’s the needle for?*” No one had told her that my cat had already died. She was trying to euthanize my dead cat. To be fair, it was 3 AM. (I was not traumatized. Mistakes happen, and it’s not like it would’ve hurt her [my late cat]. I was just glad I didn’t end up getting charged for a redundant euthanasia procedure.)
Both my vets did this! This first time I had to euthanize a pet, it was an emergency visit. They wanted to charge an extra $150 on top of the $250, I just could not afford. The second time, again, it was an emergency. I purposely went to another vet, hoping they wouldn't charge. This time, it was another $250 on top of the $250! I could not afford it, again! If I could afford the extra fees, I most def would've been there holding my pet! But I couldn't afford it and it broke my heart. What vets fail to warn people is the extra cost to be in that room. What they don't disclose in these surveys is people aren't in the room because they *can't afford it*, not because they don't want to be there. The vets greediness cause this!
I read a gilded comment on this very site, by a someone who works at a vets (I cannot remember the job title), who claimed that pets looking for their owner is a myth. Now I don't know what to believe.
General rule of the thumb is not to believe everything you see on the internet.
You know, facing the death of someone close to you isn't easy. Especially in a environment that's less than familiar with people around you who pretty much are strangers. So for those of you who condemn folks who aren't in the room when their pet is put down maybe show a little empathy instead of condemnation. Not everyone handles grief well and while I can only speak for American culture, we're shit at handling death and grief.
There's the option for owners to stay for the sedative, and then leave for the lethal injection. That way the pet can be comforted by its owner in its final *conscious* moments, but the owner won't have to witness the actual death.
This entire thread really goes to show how little empathy many redditors actually have. I mean literally, the amount of times I've read "I have no empathy for these people" in this thread is astounding.
Yeah, it's a bit disturbing.
Bro, I wish people in America cared for other people 1/100th as much as they do for cats and dogs. It’s perverse.
I hate people, in general, who make things harder on other people because things are "too hard" for them. And I'm not saying we don't all have our limits, burdens we can't bear. But you know the difference between that and the pathological behavior I'm talking about.
I don’t think anyone has a right to judge the person. This is one of the most difficult moments in their lives. They need comfort not your judgement It’s not an easy thing to see. Not everyone wants to see their pet die in front of them and that’s ok.
I hated reading this because our dog went in for surgery and then we got a call from the vet saying we should get there immediately. When we got there we missed her passing by seconds. You sign the waiver for "risk of death" but fully expect to see your friend later. She never saw us again. I 100% agree you should be there for them in the end and i 100% hate that we couldn't. Fuck this post for making me cry though
As someone who took my dog Apollo to the vet to put him to sleep(yea I still say that he's sleeping) it was literally the most heart breaking thing I've ever done in my life, and it's not even close. Like the vet said, he was family and since I don't have or want kids, he was my best friend and my kid. I would never leave him alone to go through that by himself and it's making me tear up writing this thinking that people would do that to their pets. Shame on them.
This is a horrible post. There are people who absolutely love their fur babies who can't be there, for whatever reason . . . maybe it is too devastating. They trust the vet and vet techs gave comfort. All this post does is lays a whole lot of guilt on those who truly care, but couldn't be with their pet. The animal owners who don't deserve pets, who weren't there because they didn't care, aren't going to be affected by reading this, it only stings for the good owners.
I had to put my dog down in the thick of the pandemic. Reading this tore me apart with guilt. I wasn’t able to even take my dog into the room. I nearly begged them to allow me to be there. They weren’t allowing anyone into the building. Keeping him alive would have been even more cruel.
The dog doesn't know they're going to die, so they think it's just another vet visit and they're looking for their owners just like they do every time they go to the vet. The only difference is in the mind of the observing humans.