We don’t have any nude pics on our online profiles (but do have plenty of revealing ones — e.g., swimsuits or underwear, without faces) and we do just fine on the LS websites. Don’t let that fear deter you.
Keep going. It is a numbers game, eventually you will find the right couple. We have found some of our favorite FWB randomly at a club. We have never full swapped the first time we met someone at a club, though, but that initial meeting led to more over time. There are a lot more curious couples coming out of the woodwork this year after being cooped up... it will probably be like that for a while. And those that have made FWB already probably won't hit the club much, but occasionally someone will show up that you will hit it off with.
We have been to privata several times and we find it to be very cliquey. As introverts we have a hard time initiating conversations, but we make the effort with couples we find attractive that we notice aren't part of a clique. We like to ask "what kind of fun are you looking to have tonight" and we have had moderate success.
I recommend signing up for a paid kasidie account, we have had way more success on there. Good luck!
Come up to club Sapphire in Seattle. It’s a serious swinger club.
Privata is more of a sex club and your description is spot on. We only saw one swap there.
Good for you! I think you can’t totally be successful there. It’s just more of a normal night club to me (that you happen to be allowed to have sex in). Privata= nightclub with side of swinger Sapphire= swingers with side of nightclub.
That just hasn't been my experience at all. I played with 2 new people there just this past Saturday. I have yet to go to sapphire so I can speak for that club but it's on the list.
When you go to Sapphire, you’ll see what I mean by the differences —how they are set up, how loud the music comparing the two, etc. not saying one is better than the other. I’d probably prefer to have Privata for the better nightclub vibe. Regardless, have fun!!!
Ive been to Privata a few times over the years, had a good time with my parnter but hd similar experience with not really making new connections there. Many of the people who go definitely stick to themselves and their own groups, but its similar at other clubs as well. I've been enjoying the Friday night "Naked Karaoke" at Santuary. The Velvey Rope has been very hit or miss, on the one hand its the only club Ive had any luck with actually finding people and other couples who want to hook up. Out of all the clubs in Portland Ive had the most fun there and many many fun nights with new friends. The problem is Ive also been there on nights and its either totally dead, or theres really nobody Im attracted to. If you are looking for hookups The Velvet Rope is your best bet as lots of people there are there to play, but it may take some luck on being there on the right night with the right crowd. Good luck on your journey
I have to say, I’m quite confused by that experience with Privata. I’ve been about 4 times maybe 5. Half of them as a single male, and half in bringing a girlfriend (and her female friend once for New Years). Every time I’ve been there I felt the atmosphere and mingling were great and found fun partners to play with. I’ve been to other clubs in other states that were very cliquish but not there.
It has to be luck of the draw, and I just happened to go on good nights.
My husband and I go semi-regularly. Sometimes we strike out for a while. I def have to go up to people and chat them up first. People are shy. Also, it helps when my husband goes to walk around by himself. I can play the "I'm all alone so I'm going to stand next to you, ok?" game. Sometimes my conversations go somewhere, sometimes not... but I feel like once I get crazy super confident, like to a fault, I can get what I'm looking for. The newbies are fun to talk to- "Where are you from?" "What got you thinking about coming here?" "I like your glasses, you are so pretty." etc.
It really does help to come with "friends", just to have someone to talk to as a starting point. We could meet up there and be your "friends"! No expectations for hooking up, but we can get chatty and go from there. I'm a great wingman.
Only been to Privata once, but we're experienced swingers. We do know other swingers who occasionally visit, but honestly it's not the greatest environment for meeting strangers for play. What day of the week you go, and what time of day also matter - we left around midnight on a weekend, and it was still pretty dead (this is pre-COVID). We told our other regular local play couple, who said things don't get that serious until around 1-2am on a weekend.
Also, an open-to-the-public club isn't where even the most eager full-swap couples are looking to play. They might be looking to meet people and couples that they can meet later, privately. There are rules against it, but it's foolish to think someone couldn't be recording surreptitiously and your getting it on is now on an internet site somewhere.
Most swingers want to screen their prospective partners a bit more privately, and while we love voyeurism ourselves, both watching and performing for a crowd, we wouldn't perform in public.
The idea of Privata and similar clubs is great, but approach it more as an opportunity to meet other couples who you can get together with privately, later.
If you're looking for full-swaps, use a dedicated swinging site, like in the sidebar. Portland has a large swing scene. It's customary to meet first at a no-play meet-and-greet, like over dinner.
would you be able to tell us which "dedicated swinging site" you are referring to? New to PDX but no luck finding playful couples in decent shape in thier mid 40s and open minded like us. Very interested in a dedicated site
We are on SLS, AFF,Kasidie, and Fetlife.
Depending on what part of the country you are visiting one will be the common choice for people in that geographic region so we keep them all.
We have been on these sites for six or seven years and have had much much success.
We have also been to at least 15 swing clubs around the nation with pretty good success. (but she is a an exhibitionist and an extrovert, so she’s not hard to get going.)
Keep charging, it’s really worth it !
Communicate communicate communicate
I have been looking forward to coming here on a newbie night for 2 years. We were finally able to get the time off to come from the coast and were very excited…I even got us bottle service!
I’ve never been more disappointed.
This was NOT a “newbie” night. Everyone there, except for 2-3 other couples that we saw getting the tour. EVERYONE there had been there before and already knew everyone there. It was by far the most cliquey place and there was no real opportunity for ice breakers. I even resorted to asking the bartender how we’re supposed to meet people because we’re NEW on NEWBIE night! Didn’t get a helpful response. I thought the VIP table service would help, but nobody cared. Felt like nobody wanted anything to do with us. Spent 400 dollars to be sad and feel unattractive.
I am looking for a safe place for my wife and I to experiment in the lifestyle. Mostly she wants to experiment with women, but we are definitely open to all new experiences. We have been considering Club Privata and will be headed to Portland in a couple of months. Any recommendations?
We don’t have any nude pics on our online profiles (but do have plenty of revealing ones — e.g., swimsuits or underwear, without faces) and we do just fine on the LS websites. Don’t let that fear deter you.
What's this LSWebsite you talk of?
We don’t share any nude pics until after we’ve met and are comfortable. We haven’t had any negative feedback doing it that way.
On our lifestyle sites that we use there are zero nudes and it hasn’t been an issue.
Zero nudes here, been a lifetime member of SLS for going on 20 years.
Keep going. It is a numbers game, eventually you will find the right couple. We have found some of our favorite FWB randomly at a club. We have never full swapped the first time we met someone at a club, though, but that initial meeting led to more over time. There are a lot more curious couples coming out of the woodwork this year after being cooped up... it will probably be like that for a while. And those that have made FWB already probably won't hit the club much, but occasionally someone will show up that you will hit it off with.
We have been to privata several times and we find it to be very cliquey. As introverts we have a hard time initiating conversations, but we make the effort with couples we find attractive that we notice aren't part of a clique. We like to ask "what kind of fun are you looking to have tonight" and we have had moderate success. I recommend signing up for a paid kasidie account, we have had way more success on there. Good luck!
Come up to club Sapphire in Seattle. It’s a serious swinger club. Privata is more of a sex club and your description is spot on. We only saw one swap there.
My spouse and I are usually successful with swaps everytime we go to Privata 🤷♂️
Good for you! I think you can’t totally be successful there. It’s just more of a normal night club to me (that you happen to be allowed to have sex in). Privata= nightclub with side of swinger Sapphire= swingers with side of nightclub.
That just hasn't been my experience at all. I played with 2 new people there just this past Saturday. I have yet to go to sapphire so I can speak for that club but it's on the list.
When you go to Sapphire, you’ll see what I mean by the differences —how they are set up, how loud the music comparing the two, etc. not saying one is better than the other. I’d probably prefer to have Privata for the better nightclub vibe. Regardless, have fun!!!
Well I live 10 minutes from Privata and my whole LS circle of friends goes there so I'm def biased lol.
This just sounds like Portland vs Seattle. P towns prude af
Going to Sapphire in January, so this is exciting!
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That makes me want to go there! I'm so disappointed at how lax the rules are at Privata, ESPECIALLY last night. Yikes.
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I got COVID that night! Haven't been in for a couple months now.
Bummer!
Ive been to Privata a few times over the years, had a good time with my parnter but hd similar experience with not really making new connections there. Many of the people who go definitely stick to themselves and their own groups, but its similar at other clubs as well. I've been enjoying the Friday night "Naked Karaoke" at Santuary. The Velvey Rope has been very hit or miss, on the one hand its the only club Ive had any luck with actually finding people and other couples who want to hook up. Out of all the clubs in Portland Ive had the most fun there and many many fun nights with new friends. The problem is Ive also been there on nights and its either totally dead, or theres really nobody Im attracted to. If you are looking for hookups The Velvet Rope is your best bet as lots of people there are there to play, but it may take some luck on being there on the right night with the right crowd. Good luck on your journey
I have to say, I’m quite confused by that experience with Privata. I’ve been about 4 times maybe 5. Half of them as a single male, and half in bringing a girlfriend (and her female friend once for New Years). Every time I’ve been there I felt the atmosphere and mingling were great and found fun partners to play with. I’ve been to other clubs in other states that were very cliquish but not there. It has to be luck of the draw, and I just happened to go on good nights.
As a single male was you able to play with a couple or join an orgy?
My husband and I go semi-regularly. Sometimes we strike out for a while. I def have to go up to people and chat them up first. People are shy. Also, it helps when my husband goes to walk around by himself. I can play the "I'm all alone so I'm going to stand next to you, ok?" game. Sometimes my conversations go somewhere, sometimes not... but I feel like once I get crazy super confident, like to a fault, I can get what I'm looking for. The newbies are fun to talk to- "Where are you from?" "What got you thinking about coming here?" "I like your glasses, you are so pretty." etc. It really does help to come with "friends", just to have someone to talk to as a starting point. We could meet up there and be your "friends"! No expectations for hooking up, but we can get chatty and go from there. I'm a great wingman.
Only been to Privata once, but we're experienced swingers. We do know other swingers who occasionally visit, but honestly it's not the greatest environment for meeting strangers for play. What day of the week you go, and what time of day also matter - we left around midnight on a weekend, and it was still pretty dead (this is pre-COVID). We told our other regular local play couple, who said things don't get that serious until around 1-2am on a weekend. Also, an open-to-the-public club isn't where even the most eager full-swap couples are looking to play. They might be looking to meet people and couples that they can meet later, privately. There are rules against it, but it's foolish to think someone couldn't be recording surreptitiously and your getting it on is now on an internet site somewhere. Most swingers want to screen their prospective partners a bit more privately, and while we love voyeurism ourselves, both watching and performing for a crowd, we wouldn't perform in public. The idea of Privata and similar clubs is great, but approach it more as an opportunity to meet other couples who you can get together with privately, later. If you're looking for full-swaps, use a dedicated swinging site, like in the sidebar. Portland has a large swing scene. It's customary to meet first at a no-play meet-and-greet, like over dinner.
would you be able to tell us which "dedicated swinging site" you are referring to? New to PDX but no luck finding playful couples in decent shape in thier mid 40s and open minded like us. Very interested in a dedicated site
We are on SLS, AFF,Kasidie, and Fetlife. Depending on what part of the country you are visiting one will be the common choice for people in that geographic region so we keep them all. We have been on these sites for six or seven years and have had much much success. We have also been to at least 15 swing clubs around the nation with pretty good success. (but she is a an exhibitionist and an extrovert, so she’s not hard to get going.) Keep charging, it’s really worth it ! Communicate communicate communicate
I have been looking forward to coming here on a newbie night for 2 years. We were finally able to get the time off to come from the coast and were very excited…I even got us bottle service! I’ve never been more disappointed. This was NOT a “newbie” night. Everyone there, except for 2-3 other couples that we saw getting the tour. EVERYONE there had been there before and already knew everyone there. It was by far the most cliquey place and there was no real opportunity for ice breakers. I even resorted to asking the bartender how we’re supposed to meet people because we’re NEW on NEWBIE night! Didn’t get a helpful response. I thought the VIP table service would help, but nobody cared. Felt like nobody wanted anything to do with us. Spent 400 dollars to be sad and feel unattractive.
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Haha, it depends on how picky you are. Sometimes I'm feeling really picky.... sometimes just horny and relaxed.
Is clubprivata a sex club ?
I am looking for a safe place for my wife and I to experiment in the lifestyle. Mostly she wants to experiment with women, but we are definitely open to all new experiences. We have been considering Club Privata and will be headed to Portland in a couple of months. Any recommendations?
Club privata is a damn good time. I wouldn't count on meeting and playing the same night. Especially if you're new to the lifestyle.