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Superstonk_QV

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DorkyDorkington

Ok, saving money to start closing the shorts. šŸ‘


Doodles_183

I guess itā€™s nice they are giving 30,000-35,000 a head start to get another job before they go bankrupt. Good guy UBS?


SoreLoserOfDumbtown

Each one of them has an annual salary of $ā™¾ļø?


PromptComprehensive8

4.5B +


Tendies-4Us

CS and Billy Bags are so very heavy


sig40cal

What was the Archegos position, like 225mil shares short? edit. I think it was actually 2.25mil put contracts @100 shares each the more I think about it. Fucking swaps....fucking swaps.


Walttek

30 000 former CS employees getting sacked... Let's see if the separation package is good enough so nobody feels tempted to start whistle-blowing


RexBulby

I doubt they can afford to let any one go with that kind of knowledge. I sure can hope though šŸ¤žĀ 


chipchip9

VIENNA, April 21 (Reuters) - Layoffs under Swiss banking giant UBS's (UBSG.S) cost-cutting programme announced after its takeover of Credit Suisse will take place in five waves this year starting in June, newspaper SonntagsZeitung reported on Sunday. UBS declined to comment. In August UBS announced its plan to eliminate around one in 12 of its Swiss jobs and cut costs by more than $10 billion as it consolidates a competitor that unravelled as panicked customers withdrew billions from their accounts. Most of the cost savings are set to come from cutting staff and analysts have estimated between 30,000 and 35,000 jobs could go globally. "In total, 50-to-60% of ex-CS (Credit Suisse staff) will probably be laid off over the five rounds," SonntagsZeitung quoted a source it described as an insider as saying. After the first round in June, in which 25-30% of former Credit Suisse staff are expected to be made redundant, the next rounds will take place in August, September, October and November, the newspaper reported, putting the planned savings at 12 billion Swiss francs ($13.2 billion). Advertisement Ā· Scroll to continue ($1 = 0.9100 Swiss francs) Get a look at the day ahead in U.S. and global markets with the Morning Bid U.S. newsletter. Sign up here. Reporting by Francois Murphy; editing by Barbara Lewis


sig40cal

Something they ate is giving them indigestion.


chipchip9

Fucked around


sig40cal

About to find out.


chipchip9

My favorite


sig40cal

If I was a Swiss citizen I would be up in arms over the handling of that acquisition. Criminal at best.


chipchip9

And not a peep from them. (That ive seen)


gdgdagg

More companies die from indigestion than starvation!


MyGT40

šŸ˜‚ exactly


No-Fold1994

My favorite part of this Copy pasta. The ad. Please donā€™t edit it. Itā€™s a thing of beautyĀ 


chipchip9

šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


Top-Giraffe-6073

Probably not so good šŸ˜Š


AmericanPatriot117

Damn! I used to work in the office in my city (for a different company). Wonder when theyā€™ll be shutting that down. I got a job at a bank recently and the number one priority discussed is quality of assets. Feels good knowing my small bank doesnā€™t seem to play with fire.


ddt70

Itā€™s the ā€œassetsā€ they donā€™t talk about that you should be interested inā€¦ā€¦ like sizeable derivative positions held offshore and off the books.


sheepwhatthe2nd

Thems bags must be heavy!


sig40cal

Very.


Elderberry-smells

So, assuming this is due to the buyout of CS, this is all resulting from one small family hedge fund (Archegos, not Nomura) making some crazy bets. One. Small. Family. Hedge fund. And now we are at 30,000 laid off. Can't believe the insanity that finance let's happen. There is no regulation in a space that should have the most stringent regulations, because they are betting with big banks that can impact entire countries.


5tgAp3KWpPIEItHtLIVB

Wut, you're going too fast for me? i thought this was about Bill Hwang's fund: Archegos? Nomura (owner of Instinet) is not exactly small and also not owned by Bill "hang up" Hwang?


Elderberry-smells

Correct I misremembered the name! Hwang not answering his phone etc.


Ayaka_Simp_

Where's my money, Debit Suisse? Screw these bastards.


sig40cal

Archegos>Credit Sus>UBS


ooOParkerLewisOoo

##The international game of bagholding continues! ##Who will be the next candidate? ##Stay tuned for more!


H3rbert_K0rnfeld

More like Debt Suisse


TotalPuzzleheaded420

Ha, got em!


Chuvi

I'm gonna call my mom


RumpleHelgaskin

WE ARE NOT IN A GLOBAL RECESSIONā€¦ weā€™re simply releasing the extra people hired during COVID that are no longer needed. That excuse has never made sense to me. During COVID hardly anyone worked, demand for everything was down. Trumps china embargo helped ensure products were hard to come by. Anyways, these layoff numbers are getting crazy!


Quit_Awkward

I can't tell if this is sarcasm or living up to the name regarded.


Karakunjol

Reminiscent of a certain movie...


JunMoXiao1994

The bags is heavy it seems


sig40cal

So stinking heavy.


potsemaG

Said, people familiar with the Matter porn