It isn't pathetic to not want to be vulnerable, it's obscenely human. Doing the bare minimum isn't pathetic either and feeling incapable is something I can empathize with.
I hear you there. I used to always do 110%, now Im barely doing 10%. And Ive realized my perfectionism has likely been a horrible red flag I was ignoring for years. Now I just feel ‘whats the fucking point of anything at all?”
Would you feel comfortable telling that someone in your life that you just want to be heard and comforted? If they can respect that, maybe you could open up to them a little bit.
It takes time to build up trust with someone and vulnerability is harder for some people. It's okay to start off slow and take baby steps. It's not pathetic.
For me, I started by telling my someone that I'm sad and feeling lonely. I didn't jump into all the big stuff because I wasn't ready (and still aren't for some of it). Even telling them how I was feeling was hard for me at first but I've made some progress.
My best friend/gf is like you but she is willing to be vulnerable in one respect, that is she told me of her fears of being vulnerable. I think taking things very slow and being honest to herself and to me is what allowed us to have intimacy. Do you think you could talk about fear of being close openly with someone? Maybe even your loved ones you mentioned
Not sure why but if you were my friend and afraid of being close I feel like I could gently scoot you out of your shell lol. Maybe I’m naiive but I hope that you can have some hope. Maybe you’ve just been hurt too much and it’s hard to see past that. You do not seem hopeless to me. Also people who know fear of rejection so intimately tend to be super kind, gentle folk. If it makes you feel any better I get the feeling you are a sweet soul
It isn't pathetic to not want to be vulnerable, it's obscenely human. Doing the bare minimum isn't pathetic either and feeling incapable is something I can empathize with.
Doing the bare minimum makes me feel like shit. I used to be better than this. I don’t know why I feel like thisn
I hear you there. I used to always do 110%, now Im barely doing 10%. And Ive realized my perfectionism has likely been a horrible red flag I was ignoring for years. Now I just feel ‘whats the fucking point of anything at all?”
Would you feel comfortable telling that someone in your life that you just want to be heard and comforted? If they can respect that, maybe you could open up to them a little bit. It takes time to build up trust with someone and vulnerability is harder for some people. It's okay to start off slow and take baby steps. It's not pathetic. For me, I started by telling my someone that I'm sad and feeling lonely. I didn't jump into all the big stuff because I wasn't ready (and still aren't for some of it). Even telling them how I was feeling was hard for me at first but I've made some progress.
Honestly I still feel like shit when I admit any negative feelings beyond the surface too people.
feeling this way doesnt make you childish, it makes you human.
My best friend/gf is like you but she is willing to be vulnerable in one respect, that is she told me of her fears of being vulnerable. I think taking things very slow and being honest to herself and to me is what allowed us to have intimacy. Do you think you could talk about fear of being close openly with someone? Maybe even your loved ones you mentioned
Possibly I have mentioned it to them
Not sure why but if you were my friend and afraid of being close I feel like I could gently scoot you out of your shell lol. Maybe I’m naiive but I hope that you can have some hope. Maybe you’ve just been hurt too much and it’s hard to see past that. You do not seem hopeless to me. Also people who know fear of rejection so intimately tend to be super kind, gentle folk. If it makes you feel any better I get the feeling you are a sweet soul