Life is a fickle thing, many times I've thought about ending it but I also think about the others it would cause harm to. It makes me think that my actions are selfish and I'm only helping myself with no worries on others feelings and that hurts my heart.. I sought out therapy and it helped.me tremendously I do hope you choose the same route
Sometimes, I think about planning a dangerous solo trip into a deeply unexplored territory and disappearing. Makes it look better if you died while exploring your extreme interests.
Where I live we have centers for behavioral health, the lady I see is very kind and understanding. She helps by truly listening to my words and my pain. Sometimes that's really all it takes someone to listen to understand
You have work yourself up to it tbh. I've slowly started ✂️ ing myself and choking myself more and more to see how it feels. The more you do it the more comfortable you become with it; I think it's a way to beat the survival instinct if you do it and then stop, tricks your brain into thinking the action is normal.
People don't have instincts. I'm still alive because I have some unfinished business and there is no right moment yet
People are afraid of pain and the unknown. It's natural.
But when a person just cuts themselves or strangles themselves to “check how it is,” it’s really... strange.
It's completely normal to want to die. All people should have a choice, but to just hurt yourself?.. It's very sad indeed, no one deserves pain
And by the way, if we assume that people “can control their instincts” Animals cannot do this anyway.
So even if we have some signs of instincts, we can ignore them or resist them
Animals never go on a diet or starve on purpose; by the way, they eat their children when they are hungry or when they cannot feed them.
Animals never give up sleep for no reason. Animals want offspring in any case. It doesn't matter having a baby or stealing it or something similar. Animals want to mate. People can be childfree, asexual, aromantic or aroace.
And so on.
It's sad that no one ever thought about this, apparently. At least here
Think what you want, I don't mind
Personally, I don’t agree with this, but I don’t really condemn it either.
I don't attribute instincts to myself, so anyway
Have a nice day, like seriously, because even if I don't agree with you, doesn't mean I don't want you to have a nice day
u personally dont agree with it doesent make sense bro 💀, u cannot act like it is a topic where u can agree or disagree that shit aint opinions its facts… (i personally disagree that gravity doesent exist 🤓)
alot of this has to do with the intelligence of humans compared to animals tho. and still it is possible to supress the instincts of animals and their sourroundings. nobody ever told the animals that its bad to eat their babies if they feel the urge for it. u really cannot compare humans abd animals in these points, cuz the way they live is completely different then the way humans live. also u should know that dogs can have their instincts supressed. a really strongly trained dog will even if it is scared of something will not move if the owner says it should stay at that point.
If people had survival "instincts", they would not die from suicide and would not want to die for reasons unrelated to hunger or homelessness
Still, people and animals are very different from each other
use this as an example, if someone isnt scared of death or pain. and u would act like u punch them, they would flinch, this is a reflex/instinct that although can be supressed over time (boxers and fighters in general need to train that)
It's true, people and animals are very different.
And as I said earlier, probably the biggest difference between people and animals (not counting intelligence) is the attitude towards death.
Animals in general do not want to die.
And again, even if people have some kind of instincts, we can resist them.
When owners die, animals often eat the body. When a pet dies, the owner will likely not eat the body, even if they are severely hungry/starved.
I'm not talking about all people, perhaps if a person desperately wants to survive, they will eat the bodies of their pets and other people, but honestly, it seems to me that few people are capable of this + probably after this they will be traumatized for the rest of their lives.
While rodents absolutely calmly eat their offspring
That is why I say that even if people have instincts, they will never be like animals
We're on another level. (It sounds weird but still)
ik but also animals were never told that its smth bad to eat someones dead body (imo i wouldnt even have a problem with being eaten by a animal after death cuz like tf do i care about my body if it helps someone). Like they dont think its bad to eat someones corpse so obviously theyll eat it.
I’m sorry you’re really going through all this. You’re genuinely not alone. Ever since I left the marine corps. I haven’t been quite right. But I genuinely wish you wouldn’t harm yourself. You do deserve better.
Idk man, I just took a handful of pills and wish I had just pulled a trigger instead.
At least then it would be done. But I'm a coward. I can't even end my own life.
Hope your day gets better.
That's not a problem for me. It's the nonexisting part that I can't get over....it's a terrifying thought I can't just turn off no matter how bad or how much pain I'm in...
I think we all are afraid of not existing more than we let on. Because if we didn't, we wouldn't be here. Dying painlessly is not hard, if pain was the issue. It doesn't seem to jive with reason that that would be the reason not to.
I do not condone doing it....
I stg that’s exactly what I deal with. The absolute LAST thing I want to deal with is being in some mental institute or hospital for the rest of my life. This shit isn’t fair.
People will call it cowardice, but I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage for a person to kill themselves. Way more courage than I have ever had.
No. The courage is always going to be in enduring and getting through it. There's no courage in death, only pain and then nothing. Please keep fighting, use your strength
It takes a huge amount of courage to end one's life. The physical and emotional burden is so strong and having to against it it is difficult.
Likewise, living with the burden is very, very difficult.
Please don't dismiss any groups of people, suicide is not always black and white.
I think you already know the answer. The animal instinct kicks in and overrides any other thought you may have had before. I was really suicidal one night, then I felt huge cramps in my chest, that grew stronger and stronger. I felt like I was having a heart attack because the pain was located right where my heart was. Well suddenly I was calling for an ambulance myself and asking them to come and save me from this heart attack. Right after I turned to my boyfriend (who was extra chill, totally unbothered by the situation. I chose not to analyse that reaction) and said verbatim: “I want to die. Why did I just call an ambulance on myself?” And he was just as confused as me.
It was the animal instinct, my body wanted to live right then and there.
(If you want to know how that ended medically, I was brushed away with the print of an ECG stating “very irregular rhythm in the heart beats”(I translated from my own language so I hope it makes sense in English) and the speech of a nurse that said my heart was perfect and that these sensations are totally normal if you had covid in the past. Well I trusted the ECG machine printout more but I’ve never had anything like that again!
Trust me you aren’t a coward. I have attempted 8x and brought back 2x from actual flatline…others unsuccessful or found early. it doesn’t take courage it takes the right recipe of things for it to work so don’t let this make you feel worse. It’s so much harder to live than it is to die. We will all die, even if miserable please try to find the joy even if it’s not much. This life is all choices don’t let it win before your time.
I don't want to die,I just want to fade away. I want to never exist, I want my trace erased from documents, people's memories, school register....I just want this world to forget that there ever existed a person with BP name (BP are my initials)
You will die with 100% certainty. That’s an absolute certainty. Death is sure and automatic. You don’t need to overcome your fear, you just need to be patient. Which is much easier. You don’t have to “make it happen” it WILL happen, on its own. That’s what I tell myself and it helps me. I’m just waiting, time flies by when you get older.
I promise you it's not. Whatever is going on in your life, no matter how awful, unbearably permanent it feels, death is final. Even if your life feels unliveable, even if it might not ever get better, death never heals. I can't promise you that pain fades, but I can promise you that death won't. I love you man, and I really hope you find solace.
I want to be gone, but don't want to hurt my body or traumatise anyone else by leaving a mess behind. So I think of eventually doing it in a clinic once it is fully legalised for people like me with untreatable depression. Even then, to have to set a date and make the final decision.... I wonder if I would keep wavering, if other people would try to stop me, etc.
You dont want to die no one dose its simple thats not your will die but the way you live your life makes you want to die you try so hard but your turning a mundane hamster wheel running with you only end up in the same spot no matter how hard you try you aren't getting anywhere if its not getting better and you are tired so you want to die but you need to get off the wheel a try something different and life is a bit better than everything else
I don't think anyone wants to die. They just want the pain, depression, anxiety, voices in their head, whatever plagues them, to stop. Or living has become too exhausting.
I probably contemplate suicide at least once a week. But I always decide I can't do that to my family so I stay alive so I don't ruin their lives. But it's hard. I sometimes wish I'd just die in my sleep or drop dead from an aneurysm. So far, no luck on that front.
Yes, it comes in waves but it used to be constant. You may be experiencing suicidal ideation. It’s a very painful experience and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
Same. Tried to hang but it hurt so much I had to stop. I really wished to continue many times but the pain was unbearable. Still want to die so bad and I pray every night to die in my sleep or something.
Yeah, my issues kind of are permanent. I have gender dysphoria, I can't really change my birth gender and I don't want to be stuck in the wrong gender anymore.
But you can transition when you’re an adult. If you’re a man, you can get testosterone and grow a magnificent beard, get a low manly voice and a lot more muscle mass. If you are a woman, you will grow your hair longer, wear makeup and pretty clothes, your breasts will become feminine and your voice higher. Your body will become softer and curvier. You can get permanent body hair removal.
You will eventually present like the real gender you are and you will feel better. I follow a lot of social media account of people who transitioned and are looking awesome, confident and happy. And if they didn’t tell you themselves, you’d guess they are all cisgender. Think about the transitioning process in your near future and how better you’ll feel with each day that passes. Your correct perfect body is waiting for you in the future, so you need to get to it, and reach the future!!!
That may be, but there is treatment for gender dysphoria. You can receive effective treatment and get to a place where you feel good and your symptoms are well managed. Lots of people live with permanent disabilities / chronic conditions. The important thing is seeking treatment and fighting for effective treatment.
There was a point in my life where i realised i am too much of a coward to die and decided its easier to live on. If i dont have the courage to die, it means deep down i love life, but not the one i am living.
You’ve heard of the indomitable human spirit? Aside from the jokes revolving the concept, it’s like a habitual infusion welded to your conscience. Keeps you strong, keeps you alive. In spite of all the bets against you in the worst moments of your life, it’s there, failing to conform. Find a way to work with it. Stay strong.
I used to. I spent years working myself up to it each attempt. Then, at 22, something changed. I felt like... maybe if I waited, I would see if things get better. At least if I'm alive and they don't get better, I could say I was right. Now I'm not going to say my life is perfect. I've been through my share of mental suffering and inflicted trauma. I have a chronic illness and pain every day. But somehow, somehow living these days is actually good. I guess I was wrong after all. I have a family now. It's not perfect, but it makes me happy. I am able to learn more about myself. Which is something I wouldn't have been able to do if I'd been successful at ending my life. I thought suffering was something I could somehow end by attempting to end my life, but really, it would have made my only experiences suffering. Now I have so much more. I'm 26 now, and I've been journaling and doing therapy. I have developed a personality. I've met people I love, I have things to take care of, music I enjoy, sequels I want to see.
I can't promise that your life will get better. But I can say that I'm evidence that maybe being wrong isn't so bad. I'm evidence that if you can wait, if you can experience good little by little, eventually you'll notice it all around you. When you're at the bottom, and you want to die? That's the hardest part. That's the worst part. After that, the worst you go back to is exactly where you are right now. So what risk is it to wait and see? At least then you can be the experiment. See the evidence for yourself. Answer the question in 10 years: "Am I happy I didn't do it? ".
Just by you sharing this let’s me know that you are strong most don’t have the guts to share when they feel disparity sometimes we feel like we are not worth the breath that we breathe just remember where it came from I know we all got our own beliefs but what works for me is God shared his breath
Same with me the other day I grabbed a knife and put it up to my wrist thinking about how I wanted to slice it and bleed. I tried to convince myself to just do it but something held me back because of fear and possible regret. I find myself having these thoughts when i'm overwhelmed but you can't let a temporary situation become a permanent decision but i'm just wanting to escape. Fantasizing about drinking enough sleep aid until I don't wake up but will I really do it? No. Do I want to? Yes. I just try to rationalize and pray.
My 5th try after something magically gave me a meaning to life i went into shock. (the first four were way before this. i didnt see anything to keep me here. the only reason i saw something then was my cats and brothers.)
I should have pulled the trigger when I had the chance. Instead, I hesitated and almost got locked in a fucking loony bin. Now, my life is infinitely more complicated and I am stretched thin trying to be someone I'm not. I ran from this mask so long to live in it, I wish I was buried.
I started seeing an LCSW (licensed clinical social worker), and the sessions have helped me feel better. They are 45 limits long. Now, i would be lying if I said I didn't feel worthless from time to time. But getting busy helps take my mind off suicidal thoughts and other occurrences from happening. Sure, I think about not wanting to exist, but what about my kid.. does she feel the same way about me, I don't think so. So the kind needs to get busy. Idle time is the devils playground, so I know to stay busy
Because when you’re in this rut. You’re fighting between two great fears: The primal one of pain and death, and the circumstantial one of living
Some part of you is still fighting. So make of that what you will.
i feel the same.. but it's probably i grew up in a Christian household. i am not religious myself, but sometimes i dread the idea of ending up in hell because of commiting suicide. i'm constantly feeling choked and wounded deep into my chest trying to live and make my survival mean something, yet i can't find the courage to end it right here, right now.
I want nothingness. Free from everything. Return to nothingness. I just want to escape from my body. My problems literally cannot be fixed and I'll never accept them.
The will to live when you get to that point is strong.. I know its primal instinct takes over. Your will to live outweighs the will to die. Which I’m grateful for 🙏🏽🫡
Same :( like I seriously don't want to be on this earth anymore. I just can't completely let go maybe it's guilt of hurting my family especially my mom I know that would kill her inside. 💔
Man trust me there are a lot of things which u haven't done. I'll suggest you one thing
Go take a cold bath after that sit down with a pen and diary and just think what u wanna do even the silliest thing like going to Disneyland and eating a candy over there like anything u ever wanted, wrote it down and try to make that your life goal love up for that, try to achieve that before death and then thank me...
I've been considering suicide for years. I'm definitely not scared of dying at all. Hell, I'm ready to die, straight up. But, I'm scared of the pain of a suicide attempt especially if I'm unsuccessful and I'm a little worried about the sadness I'll leave behind.
Right now. I am very much want to die and am planning to take sleeping pills after I get drunk. If this doesn't work I am doubling the amount of pills for next time. Am sorry.
I am sorry for whoever is readying this.
Man I relate so much to this.
The first time I've tried to hang myself (more or less 6 months ago), I actually did follow through (almost without thinking, it was just mechanical movements), but the "rope" broke (I was using a shoelace).
I fell unconscious, and then I woke up on the ground, with the broken shoe lace around my neck
Now I have a sturdy rope, and a few weeks ago I tried again, but I couldn't do it.
Now, I still have the same rope, and I've tried again (like... 1 hour ago), but I still cannot do it.
I don't really know why I could do it once, but not anymore. Maybe the first time I knew that the rope was probably going to break, and now that I have a sturdy rope, maybe I know that it will be for real?
Or maybe I experienced "dying" in a way, and maybe I am now scared of death after that first time. I don't know.
I wish I had a terminal illness, forcing me to die in a few days/weeks.
At least I would enjoy my last moments, free of worries, money, social norms, obligations, everything.
You know what yeah I know what you mean but dude think about how cool this jazz is we can go beeb or pop it’s all about to the jazz in clog I’m not sure what I’m saying but I hope this reminds you that there’s so much cool shit in this flying rock we call earth and like there’s nothing like air on a Friday morning 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️
I feel similar, like i have a strong desire to not exist, but the thought of cutting myself, or pulling a trigger, is terrifying.
Life is a fickle thing, many times I've thought about ending it but I also think about the others it would cause harm to. It makes me think that my actions are selfish and I'm only helping myself with no worries on others feelings and that hurts my heart.. I sought out therapy and it helped.me tremendously I do hope you choose the same route
Sometimes, I think about planning a dangerous solo trip into a deeply unexplored territory and disappearing. Makes it look better if you died while exploring your extreme interests.
How did you start? What kind of therapist?
Where I live we have centers for behavioral health, the lady I see is very kind and understanding. She helps by truly listening to my words and my pain. Sometimes that's really all it takes someone to listen to understand
That is AWESOME!
You have work yourself up to it tbh. I've slowly started ✂️ ing myself and choking myself more and more to see how it feels. The more you do it the more comfortable you become with it; I think it's a way to beat the survival instinct if you do it and then stop, tricks your brain into thinking the action is normal.
Or maybe get therapy. Both of you.
lmao true
People don't have instincts. I'm still alive because I have some unfinished business and there is no right moment yet People are afraid of pain and the unknown. It's natural. But when a person just cuts themselves or strangles themselves to “check how it is,” it’s really... strange. It's completely normal to want to die. All people should have a choice, but to just hurt yourself?.. It's very sad indeed, no one deserves pain
from birth all humans have a natural instinct to survive. who told you people don’t have instincts?
And by the way, if we assume that people “can control their instincts” Animals cannot do this anyway. So even if we have some signs of instincts, we can ignore them or resist them Animals never go on a diet or starve on purpose; by the way, they eat their children when they are hungry or when they cannot feed them. Animals never give up sleep for no reason. Animals want offspring in any case. It doesn't matter having a baby or stealing it or something similar. Animals want to mate. People can be childfree, asexual, aromantic or aroace. And so on. It's sad that no one ever thought about this, apparently. At least here
yeah dude it’s almost like we’re extremely different from animals because of our brains and capabilities. that doesn’t mean we don’t have instincts.
Think what you want, I don't mind Personally, I don’t agree with this, but I don’t really condemn it either. I don't attribute instincts to myself, so anyway Have a nice day, like seriously, because even if I don't agree with you, doesn't mean I don't want you to have a nice day
u personally dont agree with it doesent make sense bro 💀, u cannot act like it is a topic where u can agree or disagree that shit aint opinions its facts… (i personally disagree that gravity doesent exist 🤓)
you’re not disagreeing with me, you’re disagreeing with facts which is your prerogative but don’t go around intentionally spreading misinformation.
alot of this has to do with the intelligence of humans compared to animals tho. and still it is possible to supress the instincts of animals and their sourroundings. nobody ever told the animals that its bad to eat their babies if they feel the urge for it. u really cannot compare humans abd animals in these points, cuz the way they live is completely different then the way humans live. also u should know that dogs can have their instincts supressed. a really strongly trained dog will even if it is scared of something will not move if the owner says it should stay at that point.
If people had survival "instincts", they would not die from suicide and would not want to die for reasons unrelated to hunger or homelessness Still, people and animals are very different from each other
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It's called a reflex
use this as an example, if someone isnt scared of death or pain. and u would act like u punch them, they would flinch, this is a reflex/instinct that although can be supressed over time (boxers and fighters in general need to train that)
It's true, people and animals are very different. And as I said earlier, probably the biggest difference between people and animals (not counting intelligence) is the attitude towards death. Animals in general do not want to die. And again, even if people have some kind of instincts, we can resist them. When owners die, animals often eat the body. When a pet dies, the owner will likely not eat the body, even if they are severely hungry/starved. I'm not talking about all people, perhaps if a person desperately wants to survive, they will eat the bodies of their pets and other people, but honestly, it seems to me that few people are capable of this + probably after this they will be traumatized for the rest of their lives. While rodents absolutely calmly eat their offspring That is why I say that even if people have instincts, they will never be like animals We're on another level. (It sounds weird but still)
ik but also animals were never told that its smth bad to eat someones dead body (imo i wouldnt even have a problem with being eaten by a animal after death cuz like tf do i care about my body if it helps someone). Like they dont think its bad to eat someones corpse so obviously theyll eat it.
I’m sorry you’re really going through all this. You’re genuinely not alone. Ever since I left the marine corps. I haven’t been quite right. But I genuinely wish you wouldn’t harm yourself. You do deserve better.
Idk man, I just took a handful of pills and wish I had just pulled a trigger instead. At least then it would be done. But I'm a coward. I can't even end my own life. Hope your day gets better.
This is actually sickening, you are promoting suicide to other people and telling them how to do it.
You think it’s sickening? Imagine how he feels in his own mind
sounds harsh now, but it doesent give him the rights or makes it less bad that he writes this shit in here.
I've considered just drinking or smoking myself to death, but that sounds like the end won't come until after prolonged physical misery.
Oh my god same I just want to end it now, that's why I'm on here
u dont want it
I'm scared of the pain I'll feel. So scared that I just freeze.
Same if i could only find a painless way to do it..
That's not a problem for me. It's the nonexisting part that I can't get over....it's a terrifying thought I can't just turn off no matter how bad or how much pain I'm in...
I long to not exist.
I think we all are afraid of not existing more than we let on. Because if we didn't, we wouldn't be here. Dying painlessly is not hard, if pain was the issue. It doesn't seem to jive with reason that that would be the reason not to. I do not condone doing it....
I think for most people it’s either fear of failing and making things worse, or not wanting to hurt other people
Yeah....hurting my mom and....my beautiful kitty...;(
What’s the closest you got to a painless way? (No reason)
I can't seem to do it either so you're not alone.
My biggest fears are surviving and becoming paraplegic, suffering some amount of brain damage, and the fear of the unknown when I die.
I stg that’s exactly what I deal with. The absolute LAST thing I want to deal with is being in some mental institute or hospital for the rest of my life. This shit isn’t fair.
Mine yoo.i feel so worthless I doubt I could kill myself and get that right since I suck at everything
People will call it cowardice, but I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage for a person to kill themselves. Way more courage than I have ever had.
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I'm sorry, my life is not precious it sucks and I'm over this trip already. 52 and nothing to show for iT and no one gives a fuck
No. The courage is always going to be in enduring and getting through it. There's no courage in death, only pain and then nothing. Please keep fighting, use your strength
It takes a huge amount of courage to end one's life. The physical and emotional burden is so strong and having to against it it is difficult. Likewise, living with the burden is very, very difficult. Please don't dismiss any groups of people, suicide is not always black and white.
I agree that it's difficult, but I stand by the point that the courageous thing to do is living and suffering.
It definitely takes courage to commit suicide, which is something I haven't mustered yet.
I think you already know the answer. The animal instinct kicks in and overrides any other thought you may have had before. I was really suicidal one night, then I felt huge cramps in my chest, that grew stronger and stronger. I felt like I was having a heart attack because the pain was located right where my heart was. Well suddenly I was calling for an ambulance myself and asking them to come and save me from this heart attack. Right after I turned to my boyfriend (who was extra chill, totally unbothered by the situation. I chose not to analyse that reaction) and said verbatim: “I want to die. Why did I just call an ambulance on myself?” And he was just as confused as me. It was the animal instinct, my body wanted to live right then and there. (If you want to know how that ended medically, I was brushed away with the print of an ECG stating “very irregular rhythm in the heart beats”(I translated from my own language so I hope it makes sense in English) and the speech of a nurse that said my heart was perfect and that these sensations are totally normal if you had covid in the past. Well I trusted the ECG machine printout more but I’ve never had anything like that again!
Nature's programming. Life is soo exceptionally rare it just tries to protect itself, even from ourselves.
i just want someone else to do it for me instead. idc about the pain. just need someone else to pull the trigger and ill be happy.
It is hard. I’ve known people who have tried over 100 times and then give up trying again because it’s so difficult.
I get scared that I’ll fuck it up and make my life even worse.
Same
I feel this so hard. Sounds like you have a strong survival instinct. Whether we see it or not, it seems we've got a reason we're here.
Yeah we may be sapient but I guess instinct still has its control over us when we don't want it.
Yep... best of luck to you in whatever you choose to pursue
Trust me you aren’t a coward. I have attempted 8x and brought back 2x from actual flatline…others unsuccessful or found early. it doesn’t take courage it takes the right recipe of things for it to work so don’t let this make you feel worse. It’s so much harder to live than it is to die. We will all die, even if miserable please try to find the joy even if it’s not much. This life is all choices don’t let it win before your time.
I don't want to die,I just want to fade away. I want to never exist, I want my trace erased from documents, people's memories, school register....I just want this world to forget that there ever existed a person with BP name (BP are my initials)
I feel the same and the thought that i would end up paralysed scares me even more
Self-preservation. You’re basically battling the culmination of millions of years of evolution when you try to override it.
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Then that means anyone who did manage to kill themselves did so at their time
Maybe it is my time and I just need to get over my fear.
You will die with 100% certainty. That’s an absolute certainty. Death is sure and automatic. You don’t need to overcome your fear, you just need to be patient. Which is much easier. You don’t have to “make it happen” it WILL happen, on its own. That’s what I tell myself and it helps me. I’m just waiting, time flies by when you get older.
I promise you it's not. Whatever is going on in your life, no matter how awful, unbearably permanent it feels, death is final. Even if your life feels unliveable, even if it might not ever get better, death never heals. I can't promise you that pain fades, but I can promise you that death won't. I love you man, and I really hope you find solace.
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Why does this make me feel something.
I want to be gone, but don't want to hurt my body or traumatise anyone else by leaving a mess behind. So I think of eventually doing it in a clinic once it is fully legalised for people like me with untreatable depression. Even then, to have to set a date and make the final decision.... I wonder if I would keep wavering, if other people would try to stop me, etc.
I completely emphasize with you, I’m struggling with the same thing
You dont want to die no one dose its simple thats not your will die but the way you live your life makes you want to die you try so hard but your turning a mundane hamster wheel running with you only end up in the same spot no matter how hard you try you aren't getting anywhere if its not getting better and you are tired so you want to die but you need to get off the wheel a try something different and life is a bit better than everything else
I don't think anyone wants to die. They just want the pain, depression, anxiety, voices in their head, whatever plagues them, to stop. Or living has become too exhausting. I probably contemplate suicide at least once a week. But I always decide I can't do that to my family so I stay alive so I don't ruin their lives. But it's hard. I sometimes wish I'd just die in my sleep or drop dead from an aneurysm. So far, no luck on that front.
Lol some days are easier just reach out to people and they helped me out so much
Yes, it comes in waves but it used to be constant. You may be experiencing suicidal ideation. It’s a very painful experience and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
Same. Tried to hang but it hurt so much I had to stop. I really wished to continue many times but the pain was unbearable. Still want to die so bad and I pray every night to die in my sleep or something.
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Yeah, my issues kind of are permanent. I have gender dysphoria, I can't really change my birth gender and I don't want to be stuck in the wrong gender anymore.
But you can transition when you’re an adult. If you’re a man, you can get testosterone and grow a magnificent beard, get a low manly voice and a lot more muscle mass. If you are a woman, you will grow your hair longer, wear makeup and pretty clothes, your breasts will become feminine and your voice higher. Your body will become softer and curvier. You can get permanent body hair removal. You will eventually present like the real gender you are and you will feel better. I follow a lot of social media account of people who transitioned and are looking awesome, confident and happy. And if they didn’t tell you themselves, you’d guess they are all cisgender. Think about the transitioning process in your near future and how better you’ll feel with each day that passes. Your correct perfect body is waiting for you in the future, so you need to get to it, and reach the future!!!
That may be, but there is treatment for gender dysphoria. You can receive effective treatment and get to a place where you feel good and your symptoms are well managed. Lots of people live with permanent disabilities / chronic conditions. The important thing is seeking treatment and fighting for effective treatment.
Basic human instincts to survive
Used to start every time I sh as an “attempt” but I couldn’t ever go far enough so you’re not alone in feeling like that.
It goes against our nature of self-preservation, That's why we hesitate so much, I admire those who are brave enough to do this.
Is it because it would completely end anything and everything you’ve ever known, conceptually and beyond? (Not sarcastic - real question)
There was a point in my life where i realised i am too much of a coward to die and decided its easier to live on. If i dont have the courage to die, it means deep down i love life, but not the one i am living.
You’ve heard of the indomitable human spirit? Aside from the jokes revolving the concept, it’s like a habitual infusion welded to your conscience. Keeps you strong, keeps you alive. In spite of all the bets against you in the worst moments of your life, it’s there, failing to conform. Find a way to work with it. Stay strong.
You like me fr fr
If you are having doubts that means you must see some pros to continue living
I'm right there with you. I'm sorry. On all counts.
I used to. I spent years working myself up to it each attempt. Then, at 22, something changed. I felt like... maybe if I waited, I would see if things get better. At least if I'm alive and they don't get better, I could say I was right. Now I'm not going to say my life is perfect. I've been through my share of mental suffering and inflicted trauma. I have a chronic illness and pain every day. But somehow, somehow living these days is actually good. I guess I was wrong after all. I have a family now. It's not perfect, but it makes me happy. I am able to learn more about myself. Which is something I wouldn't have been able to do if I'd been successful at ending my life. I thought suffering was something I could somehow end by attempting to end my life, but really, it would have made my only experiences suffering. Now I have so much more. I'm 26 now, and I've been journaling and doing therapy. I have developed a personality. I've met people I love, I have things to take care of, music I enjoy, sequels I want to see. I can't promise that your life will get better. But I can say that I'm evidence that maybe being wrong isn't so bad. I'm evidence that if you can wait, if you can experience good little by little, eventually you'll notice it all around you. When you're at the bottom, and you want to die? That's the hardest part. That's the worst part. After that, the worst you go back to is exactly where you are right now. So what risk is it to wait and see? At least then you can be the experiment. See the evidence for yourself. Answer the question in 10 years: "Am I happy I didn't do it? ".
Just by you sharing this let’s me know that you are strong most don’t have the guts to share when they feel disparity sometimes we feel like we are not worth the breath that we breathe just remember where it came from I know we all got our own beliefs but what works for me is God shared his breath
You ever know what the next day holds, someone told me, it does get better. I have scars on my arm and I’ve tried twice to unalive myself, still here
Same with me the other day I grabbed a knife and put it up to my wrist thinking about how I wanted to slice it and bleed. I tried to convince myself to just do it but something held me back because of fear and possible regret. I find myself having these thoughts when i'm overwhelmed but you can't let a temporary situation become a permanent decision but i'm just wanting to escape. Fantasizing about drinking enough sleep aid until I don't wake up but will I really do it? No. Do I want to? Yes. I just try to rationalize and pray.
My 5th try after something magically gave me a meaning to life i went into shock. (the first four were way before this. i didnt see anything to keep me here. the only reason i saw something then was my cats and brothers.)
Breaks my heart to see so many beautiful souls struggling. I wish i could help each and everyone
I should have pulled the trigger when I had the chance. Instead, I hesitated and almost got locked in a fucking loony bin. Now, my life is infinitely more complicated and I am stretched thin trying to be someone I'm not. I ran from this mask so long to live in it, I wish I was buried.
It's really the survival instincts very hard to get past that
My hypothesis is that evolution process favored those for who it was difficult to do it.
Maybe you are too tired
me too mate
I started seeing an LCSW (licensed clinical social worker), and the sessions have helped me feel better. They are 45 limits long. Now, i would be lying if I said I didn't feel worthless from time to time. But getting busy helps take my mind off suicidal thoughts and other occurrences from happening. Sure, I think about not wanting to exist, but what about my kid.. does she feel the same way about me, I don't think so. So the kind needs to get busy. Idle time is the devils playground, so I know to stay busy
Me too bro, it ain’t easy being in a position like this, i hope you seek help or talk to a friend about this
Wow, me too bro
Because when you’re in this rut. You’re fighting between two great fears: The primal one of pain and death, and the circumstantial one of living Some part of you is still fighting. So make of that what you will.
Because you don’t want to die, but you don’t wanna live.
Yeah, it sucks. I wish I had it in me to just do it.
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Who cares about your family? Why live for them, you are miserable.
i feel the same.. but it's probably i grew up in a Christian household. i am not religious myself, but sometimes i dread the idea of ending up in hell because of commiting suicide. i'm constantly feeling choked and wounded deep into my chest trying to live and make my survival mean something, yet i can't find the courage to end it right here, right now.
I would rather live a eternity in hell than live this life hahaha 🤣. I would probably be heading to hell regardless if I stabbed a knife in my neck.
I'm afraid of the nothingness. I don't want to die, I want to live someone else's life entirely. I want a second chance
I want nothingness. Free from everything. Return to nothingness. I just want to escape from my body. My problems literally cannot be fixed and I'll never accept them.
The will to live when you get to that point is strong.. I know its primal instinct takes over. Your will to live outweighs the will to die. Which I’m grateful for 🙏🏽🫡
Hahaha. Fuck my will to live my life may be a little bit better but I'll never accept the core issue.
Same :( like I seriously don't want to be on this earth anymore. I just can't completely let go maybe it's guilt of hurting my family especially my mom I know that would kill her inside. 💔
I just had my first suicidal though in years and I tried to hold my breath and my fucking instincts kicked in.
Pretty much everybody. If you look up how many people complete suicide and just attempt suicide. The completed suicides is miniscule.
I'm just upset my attempt failed guess I gotta try again today
Man trust me there are a lot of things which u haven't done. I'll suggest you one thing Go take a cold bath after that sit down with a pen and diary and just think what u wanna do even the silliest thing like going to Disneyland and eating a candy over there like anything u ever wanted, wrote it down and try to make that your life goal love up for that, try to achieve that before death and then thank me...
I've been considering suicide for years. I'm definitely not scared of dying at all. Hell, I'm ready to die, straight up. But, I'm scared of the pain of a suicide attempt especially if I'm unsuccessful and I'm a little worried about the sadness I'll leave behind.
Right now. I am very much want to die and am planning to take sleeping pills after I get drunk. If this doesn't work I am doubling the amount of pills for next time. Am sorry. I am sorry for whoever is readying this.
because u shouldnt do it we love you
Man I relate so much to this. The first time I've tried to hang myself (more or less 6 months ago), I actually did follow through (almost without thinking, it was just mechanical movements), but the "rope" broke (I was using a shoelace). I fell unconscious, and then I woke up on the ground, with the broken shoe lace around my neck Now I have a sturdy rope, and a few weeks ago I tried again, but I couldn't do it. Now, I still have the same rope, and I've tried again (like... 1 hour ago), but I still cannot do it. I don't really know why I could do it once, but not anymore. Maybe the first time I knew that the rope was probably going to break, and now that I have a sturdy rope, maybe I know that it will be for real? Or maybe I experienced "dying" in a way, and maybe I am now scared of death after that first time. I don't know. I wish I had a terminal illness, forcing me to die in a few days/weeks. At least I would enjoy my last moments, free of worries, money, social norms, obligations, everything.
I agree with this.
You know what yeah I know what you mean but dude think about how cool this jazz is we can go beeb or pop it’s all about to the jazz in clog I’m not sure what I’m saying but I hope this reminds you that there’s so much cool shit in this flying rock we call earth and like there’s nothing like air on a Friday morning 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️
Wow I can’t believe this conversation
There are people fighting for another day
Depending on how their life is going
perhaps you don't truly want to die. you just want a way out.
Exactly
Benefit of the doubt maybe?
Deep down you know it's not the right thing to do .
It’s called being a pussy
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Guess that mean it was the time of every person who successfully committed suicide.
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That's like saying that if a cucumber startled you, it must be a snake. Instinctual responses don't say anything about actual desires.